stupid accidents

[jazbug5]

I just got home from the hospital, having managed to give myself a paper cut on my eyeball. On the up side, it's a day off work and I can now tell my boss that I have developed a deep-seated aversion to filing.
I think this is quite possibly the stupidest accident I have ever had. Now that I am off work and will be very very bored all day, would anyone care to share about their own stupid accidents so that I don't feel quite so... well, stupid..?

Jaz

[vifferman]

I just got home from the hospital, having managed to give myself a paper cut on my eyeball. What?!? A paper cut on your eyeball?!?!! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!
You've got the wrong forum - none of us here ever do things quite that stupid!

By the way - how long did it take to find an appropriate avatar, or did you just make one?

[Devil]

I just got home from the hospital, having managed to give myself a paper cut on my eyeball. On the up side, it's a day off work and I can now tell my boss that I have developed a deep-seated aversion to filing.
I think this is quite possibly the stupidest accident I have ever had. Now that I am off work and will be very very bored all day, would anyone care to share about their own stupid accidents so that I don't feel quite so... well, stupid..?

Jaz
hah! (but hah in a good way, eye injuries are not good :( )
How did you manage it?

[Blakamin]

how, exactly, do you get a paper cut on your eyeball??

i've had so many stupid things happen to me i cant even think where to begin... so i wont!

mind you there was the time I was changing a leafspring bush, and forcing it open with a screwdriver... which just happened to pop out and hit me in the mouth.. broke 2 teeth and put them thru my lip!

[Ms Piggy]

Oh no! Poor squinty! You were looking a bit worse for wear by the time I said goodby last night. Just think on the upside you will be a ble to get that funky eye patch! Love the avatar!

Stupid...hmmmm, possibly for me it would be falling down our concrete stairs (granted I was a bit pissed & on my BIG boots) just after saying to myself "Oooo shit I'll have to make sure I don't fall down here." Next thing I know I'm on my back looking up at our stars going "Ouch, ouch, oooooo, ouch." Noone else was present to actually see how ridiculous I looked though. ;)

Get better soon squinty! :hug:

[NC]

:eek5: Ew what the hell?

I have the day off too, I have a pinched nerve in my back..
Stupid dumbarse at work dropped his share of Reo bars down, without telling me and fooked my back. I couldn't even walk :(

[Mr Skid]

I just got home from the hospital, having managed to give myself a paper cut on my eyeball. On the up side, it's a day off work and I can now tell my boss that I have developed a deep-seated aversion to filing.
I think this is quite possibly the stupidest accident I have ever had. Now that I am off work and will be very very bored all day, would anyone care to share about their own stupid accidents so that I don't feel quite so... well, stupid..?

Jaz

Papercut on the eyeball? How shortsighted are you?

[vifferman]

I bet that didn't half hurt. Like the time the doctor dribbled anaesthetic in my eye, when he was stitching up my face, after I slipped off the bumper bar of the 4WD when taking a shortcut agross the gargre...
Or the time I stabbed myself in the hand with a screwdriver. (Didn't actually hurt much).
Or the other time - the one where I was bedding in my new brake pads and fell on my head...
Or the time I dismounted from a bike on the downhill side...
And then there was the time I got barbed wire wrapped around my ankle when riding on a friend's farm....
The time I dropped my farm bike on the electric fence? Cut my finger with a post-mortem knife? Cut it (same finger) with a hacksaw? Or the other time I cut it with a hacksaw? Or with a pocket knife? (My left forefinger thinks I'm trying to excommunicate it from the rest of me...)
Or like, this one time, at bandcamp...

[jazbug5]

Had the image on my desktop already; must have psychically 'known' this was going to happen!
I did it, er... filing. Was opening one to look, got distracted, turned my head suddenly, and the edge sliced into my eye... bleeeee.
Most embarrassing.

[vifferman]

Stupid dumbarse at work dropped his share of Reo bars down, without telling me and fooked my back.Well that's no good, NC.
Er... what's a Reo bar? Is it like, an REO Speedwagon bar or summat?

[k14]

Ouch, that must have hurt. I assume you can still see out of it fine.

My stupid accident was cutting the tip of my finger off with a pair of long nosed pliers, haha, while changing the chain on my bike. Oh well, comes with the territory :msn-wink:

[jazbug5]

No. I can't.

Hurts like f*ck to open it, and it's swollen up.
Apparently I'll be able to see properly again in a couple of days. Oh good, fecked for the weekend, but fine just in time for work...

Did you lose a bit of your finger, then.
And NC30- you poor thing! But, er, what is a Reno (?) bar..?

Jazbah

[Mr Skid]

So do you look anything like this now?
http://shop.joke.co.uk/isroot/jokecouk/images/products/large/s21757-lge.jpg

[jazbug5]

Good work, Paparazzi!

Er, yes; very similar, only I have bigger boobs and my parrot is real...

[k14]

Oh thats not good, hope it gets better soon.

Yeah I lost the end 3 or 4mm of it, but its all grown back now.

[Mr Skid]

Thought it'd either be that or this
http://www.flamingostampede.com/pirate3.jpg

[curious george]

Good work, Paparazzi!

Er, yes; very similar, only I have bigger boobs and my parrot is real...

Beautiful plumage, the Norwegian Blue......

[Devil]

Beautiful plumage, the Norwegian Blue......
Shhhh, he's sleeping!

[NC]

Well that's no good, NC.
Er... what's a Reo bar? Is it like, an REO Speedwagon bar or summat?

Concrete reinforcing bars, 6m long. About 4 kgs each. 20+ in a pack...
Very heavy :weep:

[NC]

So do you look anything like this now?
http://shop.joke.co.uk/isroot/jokecouk/images/products/large/s21757-lge.jpg



Ooooh arrrghra.
Where's me buckanears?

On me buckin head!

:killingme

[White trash]

Jaz, you silly bugger! Guess we wont be bumping into you at any concerts or parties tonight. Although, you could very well be bumping into shit by the sounds of it.

[James Deuce]

Good work, Paparazzi!

Er, yes; very similar, only I have bigger boobs and my parrot is real...
Best.....

Comeback....


Ever.....

[Blakamin]

Shhhh, he's sleeping!
E's fu(king snuffed it!

[vifferman]

Shhhh, he's sleeping!Sleeping, my arse! He's stoned, by the look of him.
And don't give me any crap about "He's just kippin'. The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on his back!"

[vifferman]

Concrete reinforcing bars, 6m long. About 4 kgs each. 20+ in a pack...
Very heavy :weep:Ooer.... You must have arms like an orangutan or summat...

[riffer]

Stupid...hmmmm, possibly for me it would be falling down our concrete stairs (granted I was a bit pissed & on my BIG boots) just after saying to myself "Oooo shit I'll have to make sure I don't fall down here." Next thing I know I'm on my back looking up at our stars going "Ouch, ouch, oooooo, ouch."
Sounds like target fixation to me Cathy. ;)

[jazbug5]

Now then...

lets see if this works...
(Bored, me?)

This parrot is unwell, by the way..!

[NC]

Ooer.... You must have arms like an orangutan or summat...

Ah six of us carrying it, I just got stuck with the not so bright one.

[Madmax]

have had a hand in a few stupid accidents,
once made a workmate laugh so hard while
he was drinking a cup coffee it shot out his nose!
the projectile coffee hit the power supply unit on
the file server we were working on and zaped him
(he was sort of ok lost most of his nose hair though)

[jazbug5]

Jees: so he nearly laughed himself to death, then?
Eek.
Bummer NC30; how long will you be off work for?

Oh, does anyone know how to change the bit at the top with the profile? I seem to have become a scooter boy...!
I don't remember swapping my bike for a vespa, and I CERTAINLY don't remember the operation..!

[Mr Skid]

Oh, does anyone know how to change the bit at the top with the profile? I seem to have become a scooter boy...!
I don't remember swapping my bike for a vespa, and I CERTAINLY don't remember the operation..!

Just post more crap it'll sorts itself out. Thats what I'm doing anyway.

A day off work is a perfect opportunity.

Just post up some pics from the internet, or set up some polls and awnser everybody individually. That'll get you onto being a hardcore biker!

[Posh Tourer :P]

Go to the site stuff forum and read the sticky thread at the top - it will reveal all

(I cant be bothered pasting the link)

[NC]

Jees: so he nearly laughed himself to death, then?
Eek.
Bummer NC30; how long will you be off work for?

Oh, does anyone know how to change the bit at the top with the profile? I seem to have become a scooter boy...!
I don't remember swapping my bike for a vespa, and I CERTAINLY don't remember the operation..!


I dunno, I need to get to the doc. And I can't ride the bike with out eating a packet of Codine..

[DebK]

jazbug5 - did I pass you on the Wgtn motorway this week on the way home? You middle lane, me on the right lane? I'm on the weird lookin' red scooter, red jacket, orange backpack, black pants blue/silver/grey helmet (too much detail, right!).

[vifferman]

Oh, does anyone know how to change the bit at the top with the profile? I seem to have become a scooter boy...!
I don't remember swapping my bike for a vespa, and I CERTAINLY don't remember the operation..!It cahnges automatically (and somewhat annoyingly) until you have like a bazillion posts. And then you can sometimes change it yourself. And I think sometimes the God of KB (can't remember his alias) allows you to change it.
(I didn't need to answer this, but I'm on a mission today, to see if I can post an outrageous number of messages and get to 1000. Or fired, or summat...)

[vifferman]

I'm on the weird lookin' red scooter, red jacket, orange backpack, black pants blue/silver/grey helmet (too much detail, right!).No, too many colours.:gob:

[jazbug5]

jazbug5 - did I pass you on the Wgtn motorway this week on the way home? You middle lane, me on the right lane? I'm on the weird lookin' red scooter, red jacket, orange backpack, black pants blue/silver/grey helmet (too much detail, right!).

Not sure... was probably concentrating on clinging to the bike at the time-riding at the mind warping speeds that I do... when.. I get passed by scooters. Ahem.

I ride all in black, huge L plates front and back, if that helps; but actually, don't think I've been on the motorway during the week...

I'll look out for you, though!
(With my good eye...)

[DebK]

No, too many colours.:gob:
Ha! But I figure colour is good on a scoot/bike.

jazbug5 - the scoot doesn't muck around as is a 180cc 2 stroke & only 110kgs. I feel like an outsider though - scooter officianado's screw their noses up at the Dragster 'cause it's plastic and bikers know it's still a scooter.

Must join a Sunday ride one Sunday soon & see if I can keep up with the bikes. I think the scooter can but not sure if I can... Do you attend?

[jazbug5]

Awwww-

I wasn't screwing up my nose at all!
I mean, I'm only on a 250, with enormous loser plates! And I go poking myself in the eye with stationery...
Dignity? What dignity?

Come for a spin some time!

J

[Blakamin]

Ha! But I figure colour is good on a scoot/bike.

I wear black all the time but i think the colour of my bike makes up for it.



:sunny:

[merv]

Ha! But I figure colour is good on a scoot/bike.

jazbug5 - the scoot doesn't muck around as is a 180cc 2 stroke & only 110kgs. I feel like an outsider though - scooter officianado's screw their noses up at the Dragster 'cause it's plastic and bikers know it's still a scooter.

Must join a Sunday ride one Sunday soon & see if I can keep up with the bikes. I think the scooter can but not sure if I can... Do you attend?

Yeah we'd love to see you sometime - you're only allowed to go 100km/hr, that's the law so none of us speed at all.

Then you could appear in my pics.

[Devil]

I ride all in black, huge L plates front and back, if that helps; but actually, don't think I've been on the motorway during the week...

I'll look out for you, though!
(With my good eye...)
Dont know if its by choice or not, but you dont need an L plate on the front :)

[jazbug5]

By choice-

I figure it's only fair to warn people...!
(For now, anyway; just had the bike a couple of weeks..)

[Ms Piggy]

Yeah we'd love to see you sometime - you're only allowed to go 100km/hr, that's the law so none of us speed at all.

Then you could appear in my pics.

Yeah cmon DebK. We need more of us girly riders out there :yes:

[Ms Piggy]

By choice-

I figure it's only fair to warn people...!
(For now, anyway; just had the bike a couple of weeks..)
And she's doin' great! Even with the gammy eye. :2thumbsup

[Devil]

By choice-

I figure it's only fair to warn people...!
(For now, anyway; just had the bike a couple of weeks..)
Heh ok. I just find that my L plate is like a red flag to a bull. Godamn tailgaters, people passing me in 50 areas when im doing 55????
Restricted in two weeks :D Cant wait to get rid of it

[vifferman]

Heh ok. I just find that my L plate is like a red flag to a bull. Godamn tailgaters, people passing me in 50 areas when im doing 55????
I wonder if "The Authorities" are aware of that? I noticed this when teaching my two older sons to drive - a lot of other motorists were desperate to pass (this is in 50 km/h areas!), to the point of doing so dangerously! And like, this one time, at band camp, er... this one time, when I drove the car without taking the plates off, I had to put up with all sorts of arsehole driving from other motorists (even more than normal for D'Auckland). AND I wasn't driving slowly. Grrrrr...
I thought the point was so that other motorists could drive carefully when encountering an L-plated driver/rider and show some consideration and make some allowances, not go, "EEEK!! A looner driver/rider!! Must pass at all costs! Must avoid!" and escape from the immediate vicinity as rapidly as possible, lest the looner slow them up for a nanosecond or three.
Even had one inconsiderate/inattentive dork drive into the back of Dave when he was on his way to his driving test! Shook him up so much he couldn't sit the test. Fortunately, the examiner applied for a special waiver for him, and scheduled a retest. (And the car blew a hose, but that's another episode...)

[thehollowmen]

Hope you get well soon, and you've done your quota of wierd accidents for the year.

I think my worst was when I managed to cut my hand with the tab on a can of shoepolish and I needed 4 stitches for it.

I went home afterwards, my boots were still scuffy ... wanted to polish them ... so I managed the same thing on the other hand... didn't go back to the doctor though

[Blakamin]

Everytime I open a pull-tab bottle (bundaberg ginger beer) I cut the tops of my fingers... tried heaps of different ways but always the same result!

[marty]

Hope you get well soon, and you've done your quota of wierd accidents for the year.

I think my worst was when I managed to cut my hand with the tab on a can of shoepolish and I needed 4 stitches for it.

I went home afterwards, my boots were still scuffy ... wanted to polish them ... so I managed the same thing on the other hand... didn't go back to the doctor though
ooh that sounds terrible.

[marty]

pepper spraying myself was my best trick

[Blakamin]

pepper spraying myself was my best trick
how did you manage that???
I've "CRC'd" myself but i'd be a tad more careful with pepper spray! :blink:

[marty]

running after a bad guy, around a corner to find he was waiting for me. 'deployed' my spray in his direction, then realised that i had run around the corner into a head wind.

[Blakamin]

running after a bad guy, around a corner to find he was waiting for me. 'deployed' my spray in his direction, then realised that i had run around the corner into a head wind.
owwww... bugga! shoulda had these :cool2:

[toads]

my stupidest accident, was last year, when I was checking on my cows and noticed one of the neighbours sheep with both it's front legs tangled in 2 wires in the fence, so I decided to untangle it, realising it would most likely die anyway, but I went home and got the wheel brace out of the van and used it to pry the extremely hi tensile wires apart sufficinently to pull the legs of the sheep out, when this happened of course all the tension went onto the wheel brace which spun around rapidly and clonked me on the nose, breaking it of course, then the sheep went away slowly and died under a tree! All week I kept thinking I was even dumber than the sheep!

[Ghost Lemur]

running after a bad guy, around a corner to find he was waiting for me. 'deployed' my spray in his direction, then realised that i had run around the corner into a head wind.

Let me guess. The bad guy still got caught. When back up arrived, he was still rolling around the ground pissing himself laughing so badly he had been unable to continue running away?
:whistle: :killingme

[Posh Tourer :P]

Oh, does anyone know how to change the bit at the top with the profile? I seem to have become a scooter boy...!
I don't remember swapping my bike for a vespa, and I CERTAINLY don't remember the operation..!

How about we ask Spankme to change it to "Scooter Person"? :D

Or even better, "Scooter human" (do you see where I'm trying to go here?)

[Madmax]

on a different note the guy
i made snort out the coffee
kas an OSH history that would
make a nun blush
have seen him knocked out
4-5 times if your interested
will post :mellow:

[Posh Tourer :P]

Must join a Sunday ride one Sunday soon & see if I can keep up with the bikes. I think the scooter can but not sure if I can... Do you attend?

There is always someone who is happy to ride at any pace. Don't worry, not all of us hoon all the time...:D
Not only that, but it'd be cool to see a scooter being ridden for fun, rather than just commuting....Not that I'd see it, being in Akl, but I'm sure I'd see the piccies...

[dangerous]

:eek5:
Stupid dumbarse at work dropped his share of Reo bars down, :(
And dont ya hate it when ya pick up a reo bar on a frosty morning in winter and it sticks to ya hand and ya cant drop it ;)

[Madmax]

this dumd arse i work withm manged to KO
himself with a file server (14inch rack mount)
We were moving some gear on a friday night
he did not disconect the monitor from the server
before he put it in the lift,, the door shut on the
monitor and went up!!
the server was caught in the top of the lift
the cord broke and the server hit him on the Head
I thought he had been mugged
(stove in head broken nose ETC)
he also KOed him self trying to stand up under a bench

he is still alive now

wonder why

[Blakamin]

this dumd arse i work withm manged to KO
himself with a file server (14inch rack mount)
We were moving some gear on a friday night
he did not disconect the monitor from the server
before he put it in the lift,, the door shut on the
monitor and went up!!
the server was caught in the top of the lift
the cord broke and the server hit him on the Head
I thought he had been mugged
(stove in head broken nose ETC)
he also KOed him self trying to stand up under a bench

he is still alive now

wonder why


The friggin legend!!!!! :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme

[Mongoose]

Stupid accidents I have had, hell, where do I start, Oh OK, tell you about the firstest stupidest mistook I can remember making.
As a young fellow (read very young) dashed into the toilet for a slash, as you do. While still facing the bowl, grabbed the shorts to whip them down( young enough to have a very small wizzer) whipped shorts down and SMACK. Thought WTF was that, or whatever a very young fella thinks at time like that.
Forgot all about needing a slash when all this red stuff started coming out me gob. Two stitches to my upper lip and a well learned lesson later all was well.(Yes, i did have that slash eventually. :whistle:

ps, that was just the start in a career of many a stupid accident, maybe that why I do Ambo work now?

[LB]

.
.Jaz: I hope you're coming right now. Take care of yourself and your eye - eyes are very useful things (my Dad is blind so I'm extra careful with my eyes).

And I LOVE the avatar (sorry, I've come into this thread ages after everyone else)

Funny enough, we viewed an OSH video at work yesterday, one of the scenarios was someone getting hit in the eye with a file and we all kinda laughed......but shit, it does happen eh.

I've done more stupid things than I could even begin to think about, let alone write down. Like last night, bought some fish for tea, put it down by the rear tyre (of the car) while I unlocked the door. Luckily Hamish was a bit late getting to the car. While I was waiting for him I was idly thinking about cooking the fish, then I suddenly thought "shit, where did I put it?" Open the car door, there's the bag with the fish in it sitting beside the rear wheel. :doh:

.
.

[Jackrat]

Had some good ones myself,that's why I walk with a slight limp,don't have all my fingers and I'm covered in scars.But the very best I've ever seen was in an Archery shop in Sydney NSW.This guy was trying to draw a heavy wheight hunting bow and managed to get the thing to full draw then slipped,let the bow go and copped it straight in the face.
The thing was set around eighty pounds and he got the lot.
Had a broken nose,teath,and a bump the size of an egg right between his eyes.
He definatly get's my first prize :first:

[ching_ching]

I just got home from the hospital, having managed to give myself a paper cut on my eyeball.
Jaz

Being watchin that Jackass tape have we bro? :niceone:

[jazbug5]

Busted.

Has anyone seen my parrot? It's a lovely Norwegian Blue...

[Mongoose]

Busted.

Has anyone seen my parrot? It's a lovely Norwegian Blue...

Can it swear? :banana:

[jazbug5]

Nah.

It's not been very lively at all , lately...

(Fish, fish...)

[Mongoose]

Nah.

It's not been very lively at all , lately...

(Fish, fish...)

Got any flavours?

Ooops, I'm in the wrong skit

[Posh Tourer :P]

It's just having a kip Jaz. Well known characteristic of the norwegian blue...

[Mr Skid]

Busted.

Has anyone seen my parrot? It's a lovely Norwegian Blue...

This wouldn't be the blighter would it?

http://www.warehouse23.com/img/toyvault/tyvmp029.jpg

( Forgive me if I'm not funny. I've found out I'm concussed from my stupid accident last Sunday, and have a medical certificate to exempt me from being funny, sensible, rational, logical or legible for the next two weeks :wacko: )

[Posh Tourer :P]

This wouldn't be the blighter would it?

http://www.warehouse23.com/img/toyvault/tyvmp029.jpg

( Forgive me if I'm not funny. I've found out I'm concussed from my stupid accident last Sunday, and have a medical certificate to exempt me from being funny, sensible, rational, logical or legible for the next two weeks :wacko: )

Thats the one. See? normal behaivour. 'aving a kip on 'is back. The Norwegian blue does it all the time...

[Mr Skid]

Thats the one. See? normal behaivour. 'aving a kip on 'is back. The Norwegian blue does it all the time...

Jaz, if you can't find him, I'm sure I've got a slug somewhere you could have instead..

[Posh Tourer :P]

Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, lovely plumage...

[Firefight]

I just got home from the hospital, having managed to give myself a paper cut on my eyeball. On the up side, it's a day off work and I can now tell my boss that I have developed a deep-seated aversion to filing.
I think this is quite possibly the stupidest accident I have ever had. Now that I am off work and will be very very bored all day, would anyone care to share about their own stupid accidents so that I don't feel quite so... well, stupid..?

Jaz


Mate, unbelivable, glad I don,t work in some dangerous office, why don,t you get a safe job, ah maybe work in a quarry and blow shit up :wacko: , or perhaps, paint the center line SH one meremere,Wash windows on a high rise ,must be plenty of other safe jobs you could do.

Could be worse,I went to a job years ago in a factory, a worker was operating a guillotne(?sp), a bit of the stuff he was cutting got stuck behind the blade, he reached into get the thing that was stuck, and yep you guessed it he cut his hand off, (very neatly at the wrist), concerned about the recently severed limb, he reached in with his other hand to get it, and yes manged to cut that one off as well.

take it easy in your office man :spudwave:

F/F

[Ghost Lemur]

Mate, unbelievable, glad I don,t work in some dangerous office, why don,t you get a safe job, ah maybe work in a quarry and blow shit up :wacko: , or perhaps, paint the centre line SH one meremere,Wash windows on a high rise ,must be plenty of other safe jobs you could do.

Could be worse,I went to a job years ago in a factory, a worker was operating a guillotine(?sp), a bit of the stuff he was cutting got stuck behind the blade, he reached into get the thing that was stuck, and yep you guessed it he cut his hand off, (very neatly at the wrist), concerned about the recently severed limb, he reached in with his other hand to get it, and yes managed to cut that one off as well.

take it easy in your office man :spudwave:

F/F

bahahaha :killingme
I know I shouldn't laugh, but dang some people....

PS cleaned up your spelling for you. :)

[Ms Piggy]

concerned about the recently severed limb, he reached in with his other hand to get it, and yes manged to cut that one off as well.

take it easy in your office man :spudwave:

F/F
YIKES!!! :bye: I guess the 2nd time he was in shock. Did they manage to sew them back on or ????

[Firefight]

bahahaha :killingme

PS cleaned up your spelling for you. :)


thank you

F/F :wacko:

[Firefight]

YIKES!!! :bye: I guess the 2nd time he was in shock. Did they manage to sew them back on or ????


Yes, shock

No, did not sew them back on !

F/F :disapint: