The penis wants a pay rise...

[Brownbikerbabe]

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following

Reasons:

* I do physical labor.

* I work at great depths.

* I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

* I do not get weekends or holidays off.

* I work in a damp environment.

* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

* I work in high temperatures.

* My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely, The Penis.

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have

Raised, The administration rejects your request for the following

reasons:

* You do not work eight hours straight.

* You fall asleep after brief work periods.

* You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

* You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting

other locations.

* You do not take initiative.

* You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

* You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as

wearing

the correct protective clothing.

* You will retire well before you are 65.

* You are unable to work double shifts.

* You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have

completed

the assigned task.

And if that were not enough, you are constantly seen entering and

exiting

the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely, The Management.

[hXc]

I'm sure that's a re-post...

[Switch]

haha very good :rofl:

[Macktheknife]

That was really funny BB good on you

[Magua]

I'm sure that's a re-post...

I think so too, but it's still a good joke. _b

[ZeroIndex]

I'm sure that's a re-post...
she's Canadian.. NZ-Repost rules don't apply to her :D PT

[u4ea]

hahahathats xlent:killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme :killingme

[UrbanMyth]

:rofl: thast quality

[Back Fire]

:killingme :killingme :killingme

[kickingzebra]

Haha, great... But all in all he enjoys his job!!!

[Sniper]

Its not a repost from this year. Very funny

[chanceyy]

I will apologise upfront if this is a repost .. but its still a goodie :)



The Penis Wants a Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following
reasons:
1-------- I do physical labour.
2.------- I work at great depths.
3.------- I plunge head first into everything I do.
4.------- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5.-------- I work in a damp environment.
6. -------I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7.-------- I work in high temperatures.
8. -------My work exposes me to diseases.


Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you
have raised, the management denies your request for the following
reasons:


1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work
period.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen
visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10 You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have
completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen
entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking
bags.
Sincerely, The Management

5 reasons not to be a penis...
1. You're bald your whole life.
2. You have a hole in your head.
3. Your neighbours are nuts.
4. The guy behind you is an ass hole and...
5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint

[Back Fire]

I'm sure it's a repost but I'm to arse lazy at the moment to find it... funny though

[MattRSK]

Haha you said penis.

[chanceyy]

Haha you said penis.


errrrrr no i didn't .. I copied & pasted it .. there for not said, & not typed .. :shutup:

[Colapop]

Is there a position to fill?

[chanceyy]

Is there a position to fill?



errrrrrrrrrrrr ummmmmmmm now that can be taken several ways ..

1) no position to fill
2) Mrs CP might have something to say about filling positions .. so no
3) no vacancy
4) No requirements at this time ..
5) thank you for applying though we will keep your cv on file for future reference :D

[James Deuce]

If it retires before 65 than it serves you right for not dealing with that circulatory disorder you should have sorted in your 40s.

[MattRSK]

errrrrrrrrrrrr ummmmmmmm now that can be taken several ways ..

1) no position to fill
2) Mrs CP might have something to say about filling positions .. so no
3) no vacancy
4) No requirements at this time ..
5) thank you for applying though we will keep your cv on file for future reference :D

I have good references :yes:

[Maha]

errrrrr no i didn't .. I copied & pasted it .. there for not said, & not typed .. :shutup:

So you didnt even make that up???........ how dissapointing.....:mellow:

[chanceyy]

So you didnt even make that up???........ how dissapointing.....:mellow:


nope ..& i thought it might be a repost .. but what the hell its still a good one .. !!



:dodge: :innocent:

but I do have a wicked sense of humor .. :Punk:

[chanceyy]

I have good references :yes:


please provide details of your references ..

your application will be considered.... then rejected :D

[MattRSK]

please provide details of your references ..

your application will be considered.... then rejected :D

Nah you will just contact my references ya lesbo. Nice burn though.

[chanceyy]

Nah you will just contact my references ya lesbo. Nice burn though.


lesbo ? .. lmfao .. thanks for the compliment .. but errr no I dunna swing that way ..

[Fub@r]

THE PENIS WANTS A RAISE


I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following


reasons:



1-------- I do physical labor.


2.------- I work at great depths.


3.------- I plunge head first into everything I do.


4.------- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.


5.--------I work in a damp environment.


6. -------I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.


7.------- I work in high temperatures.


8. -------My work exposes me to diseases.




Reply: Dear Penis,


After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have


raised, the management denies your request for the following


reasons:



1. You do not work 8 hours straight.



2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work


period.



3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.



4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen


visiting other locations.



5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and


stimulated in order to start working.



6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.



7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as


wearing the correct protective clothing.



8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.



9. You are unable to work double shifts.



10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have


completed the assigned task.



11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen


entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking
bags.



Sincerely,


The Management



Five reasons not to be a penis .



1. You're bald your whole life.


2. You have a hole in your head.


3. Your neighbors are nuts.


4. The guy behind you is an ass hole and...


5. Every time you get excited, you throw up and then faint

[Bend-it]

Cracks me up everytime!

[oldrider]

Search for the perfect penis......the life quest of the perfect woman! :yes:

One way to fix that droop though guys, tie a pencil on it. :whistle:

Then if you can't come, you can always write! :headbang: Cheers John.

[portokiwi]

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,

P. Niss
The Response
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations...
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You tend to throw up on the job.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
Correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,

V. Gina

[portokiwi]

:Oops: sorry:bash: