Hindsight

[Conquiztador]

I never ended up with a biker female. There was some around. But of some obscure reason I always selected (???) a non-biker female. Needless to say it always turned to crap. Today I am a single father with 4 boys.

If I had "selected" one of the females that had same biker interests as me surely I would now be happily married and riding in to the sunset in tandom.

Or would I?....

[Conquiztador]

Made U think?

[MyGSXF]

I'm sure it would have "helped" is said female partners were into bikes!!! :yes: Makes life soooooo much more pleasureable when you can 'share' your biggest passion with someone special!!! :hug:

Good luck with your search!!! :niceone:

Jen :rockon:

ps: & you need to rephrase your thoughts to... riding off into the sunset.. watching your good ladies arse perched upon her OWN bike!!!!! :shifty:

[Conquiztador]

ps: & you need to rephrase your thoughts to... riding off into the sunset.. watching your good ladies arse perched upon her OWN bike!!!!! :shifty:[/QUOTE]

The threads title is Hindsight...

[Crasherfromwayback]

I never ended up with a biker female. There was some around. But of some obscure reason I always selected (???) a non-biker female. Needless to say it always turned to crap. Today I am a single father with 4 boys.

If I had "selected" one of the females that had same biker interests as me surely I would now be happily married and riding in to the sunset in tandom.

Or would I?....

Sorry to hear that mate....huge job ahead of you let alone the 'hurt'.
But if I may say......I doubt the 'bike' thing would've been the main reason for it turning to shit.
I've had partners that do ride, and partners that dont. They've all got one thing in common though....they're 'ex's' regardless! If they don't ride....find something else to do together and ride when she needs 'her' space...and you need 'your' space!

Snowboarding is much like carving a sweet twisty road....and once most chickys try it they love it. Win-win!

But NEVER give biking away for someone that doesn't understand....you'll end up resenting them, and that's never gonna help!

[Toaster]

Well, life is all about working out our priorities mate. Relationships about compromise.

[Conquiztador]

It was 5 years ago so all behind me. And re the search, it is going well. Have taken the "U find me" approach and it is working surprisingly well. Have a serious candidate. And she rides too.

My post here was more to do with if I had re-arranged the priorities in the past when contemplating to spend a lifetime together, if it had made it easier?

Sort of: "Sorry honey, U are sweet, but as you do not have an interest in bikes there is no future for us..."

[Crasherfromwayback]

It was 5 years ago so all behind me. And re the search, it is going well. Have taken the "U find me" approach and it is working surprisingly well. Have a serious candidate. And she rides too.

My post here was more to do with if I had re-arranged the priorities in the past when contemplating to spend a lifetime together, if it had made it easier?

Sort of: "Sorry honey, U are sweet, but as you do not have an interest in bikes there is no future for us..."

Glad to hear you're getting 'back in the saddle' so to speak!
But I honestly don't think you should ever discount a potential partner simply becase they don't ride!

In my 21 years in the bike industry....I've met countless customers (both male and female) that ride and have partners that aren't in the slightest bit interested. No big deal....as long as they're understanding of your passion, and you let them do their 'thing' too.

There's other stuff you can do as partners!

As you can see....I'm a total relationship 'expert'.

I'm also single!:innocent:

[doc]

If I had "selected" one of the females that had same biker interests as me surely I would now be happily married and riding in to the sunset in tandom.
Or would I?....
I picked one with the same interest in bikes, she is not the slightest bit interested after 30 years. She's all grown up now I'm still actiing my shoe size like most fella's do around bikes. She' cool with it, I even think she prefers it time apart etc each doing your own thing.

[Macktheknife]

Might have made a difference, might not.
I find it is more about finding passions to share than you must share mine, and as far as the solo father thing goes.... respect. Bloody hard job that.
Good luck with your future, family and potential partner.

[oldrider]

Maybe you are not looking at the right type of people!

How much do you know about your own behaviour patterns?

If you don't know about "you" how you gonna know which ones to shop for?

The old saying, "There is always someone out there for you" is not just an accident, there really is a pattern.

Just like bushcraft, there is opposite craft, it's a learned science.

Not an exact science but non the less, a science. :yes: Cheers John.

[Curious_AJ]

good luck with the "serious candidate" dude...

as for sharing interests, yeah, there are things that you like and she doesnt or visa versa, but as many have said, you find stuff to share, or usually there is something you both like anyway. For Indy and I, when I met him I was in the midst of being put off bikes due to someone i used to know putting stupid things into my head.... but i got back onto them with a little encouragement from him, and now im really keen to get on my bike and ride.. hehe... but yeah, he was okay with me being wary of bikes at first, and i was okay with him having such a passion for them.. i like to see people who have interests and passions (as i dont have many myself) and i like to hear him talk about things that he's interested in even if it goes over my head.

but the bottom line is... in the right relationship, there will always be compromises, but also things that you do together, and things that you do apart, you have to appreciate the person for who they are, as they have to do with you ...

[kevfromcoro]

I never ended up with a biker female. There was some around. But of some obscure reason I always selected (???) a non-biker female. Needless to say it always turned to crap. Today I am a single father with 4 boys.

If I had "selected" one of the females that had same biker interests as me surely I would now be happily married and riding in to the sunset in tandom.

Or would I?....

Jeez mate i can relate to that..My 1st missus pissed off and left me with 3 children..It was haaaaaard going for years.. That was 25 yrs ago.still remember it clear, now iam in my early 50s and the 4th one has just pissed of....only married 2 of them..relastionships are fun...it just the breaking up which is the hard part..(doesnt seem to work for me.) I dont think having a biker partner helps....shared interest does.I have been thinking about starting a thread on this subject for 6 months,this thread has given me the oppertunity..needed a bit of help a few months ago..the older you get it doesnt get any easier......If anybody is interested in the property act, and mens rights, and the law..i will start a thread on it...Regards Kev

[Lissa]

Hmmm my break up with my ex (3 kids) had nothing to do with the fact I ride and he doesnt. Communication problems and being on my own alot and without any of my own interests was the thing. Life's not suppose to be easy, and you are suppose to work at relationships all the time... it takes two baby, to make it work, and equal roles. Yea life sucks sometimes.

Good luck with the future.

[Conquiztador]

Hmmm my break up with my ex (3 kids) had nothing to do with the fact I ride and he doesnt. Communication problems and being on my own alot and without any of my own interests was the thing. Life's not suppose to be easy, and you are suppose to work at relationships all the time... it takes two baby, to make it work, and equal roles. Yea life sucks sometimes.

Good luck with the future.

If he had been a keen biker, then U would have had a common interest. And there would have been things to talk about. And U guys would have shared the times in the garage. And when out riding.

With my ex, yes in the end we had grown far apart. But if she had been interested in bikes then there would have been that common thing. As it was I realised that apart from the kids there was nothing that kept us together.

So coming back to my Q in #1, don't U think that it might be more important then U make it???
I mean, being a biker is something that is in your blood. It never goes away. U at times move/get moved away from it. But U always come back if U really are one. And when with other bikers, even if U don't know them, U feel at home straight away. So add to that mix someone that does not understand it and does not care for it and surely U are asking for trouble?? I know the times I took my ex to parties, out for a ride or had my friends around. She never "clicked", never enjoyed it. But if she had been interested in bikes then she would have. Yes?

[Crasherfromwayback]

I know the times I took my ex to parties, out for a ride or had my friends around. She never "clicked", never enjoyed it. But if she had been interested in bikes then she would have. Yes?

I doubt that. Seems to me she'd decided to not like your 'biker' friends from the start. I mean shit......we're not really any different from her non biker friends away from our bikes are we?

[Big Dave]

Maybe you are not looking at the right type of people!

How much do you know about your own behaviour patterns?

If you don't know about "you" how you gonna know which ones to shop for?

The old saying, "There is always someone out there for you" is not just an accident, there really is a pattern.

Just like bushcraft, there is opposite craft, it's a learned science.

Not an exact science but non the less, a science. :yes: Cheers John.

I feel like I just watched an episode of Grizzly Adams.


Onya John.

[Conquiztador]

I doubt that. Seems to me she'd decided to not like your 'biker' friends from the start. I mean shit......we're not really any different from her non biker friends away from our bikes are we?

To be able to sit on a two wheeler doing 100K's+, exposed and with little protection and enjoy it, takes a certain type. Either U are one of them or U are not. If U are not one of them, how can U understand the ones that love it??

[Crasherfromwayback]

To be able to sit on a two wheeler doing 100K's+, exposed and with little protection and enjoy it, takes a certain type. Either U are one of them or U are not. If U are not one of them, how can U understand the ones that love it??

They don't have to understand at all mate. But provided the chat is not purely motorcycle related, there's no reason whatsoever she'd not fit in with your biker friends.

Hardly any of my closest friends ride. Suits me fine....as much as I love bikes, I don't feel the need to talk about only bikes.

[Pwalo]

They don't have to understand at all mate. But provided the chat is not purely motorcycle related, there's no reason whatsoever she'd not fit in with your biker friends.

Hardly any of my closest friends ride. Suits me fine....as much as I love bikes, I don't feel the need to talk about only bikes.

Totally agree. My better half rode a scooter at Uni, and did a bit of touring on the back of my RD400 way back when, but she's not into bikes. She does however give her full support to my riding (although I'm not sure if she'd be too keen to visit me in hospital again).

Most of the people who I mix with don't ride and that's fine. I actually prefer to have something that's my own as it were, and I certainly don't feel the need to share everything with my family.

[Joni]

My opinion - and its important to know that all these are just opinions as we don’t know you, her or what went down except for what you have told us.

I don’t think its about bikes completely, because as Mack said, you can have your stuff, she can have hers and there could be common interests that you share. You don’t need to have everything in common...

However it sounds like the "give and take" part was missing, being inflexible and not taking the other persons passions/friends into consideration is the rotten egg here in my opinion... I presume you were a biker when you met her? You have the friends you have now when you met her? Then why did she get involved with you if she could not stand that? Did she think she could change you? Like so many women do... that is naïve and people should realise that they cannot change people, there can only be a conscious give and take.

Being involved with someone that will accept your passions is important… no they don’t have to share in all of them, but if they accept how important they are to you, and that they play a role in your life… then that’s a good place to start.

Oh and this goes both way... :yes:

[peasea]

My previous lady wasn't into bikes at all but it didn't stop me from riding any more than it stopped her from going out with her friends. In just over three years she plonked her butt on my bike once, got off and said "I don't see what the attraction is".

She just wasn't into it; she doesn't live here anymore..........her daughter moved to Oz and she followed her. However, that resulted in a trip to the Mainland where I met my current lady who is right into riding, had her own bike at the time and has since up-graded.

It's hard to say but sometimes I wonder if we'd get on so well if she weren't into bikes. We do pretty much everything together so bikes are just part of the flow. For example, last Anniversary weekend we went a B&B in Raglan. We rode there but parked the bikes for the w/e and just had quality time on the beach, by the fish pond, at the pub etc.

We could have been any other couple.........it's just that we'd arrived on bikes.

[Stickchick]

To be able to sit on a two wheeler doing 100K's+, exposed and with little protection and enjoy it, takes a certain type. Either U are one of them or U are not. If U are not one of them, how can U understand the ones that love it??

Yes you can. With my ex I hated bikes when I first met him but it was his passion so chose to get involved and if it meant freezing my arse off while on the back then so be it ...I was spending time with him. But i suppose its a different scenario as now I'm learning to ride my own bike.

[JimO]

freezing my arse off

thats not verry ladylike:dodge:

[Lissa]

If he had been a keen biker, then U would have had a common interest. And there would have been things to talk about. And U guys would have shared the times in the garage. And when out riding.

With my ex, yes in the end we had grown far apart. But if she had been interested in bikes then there would have been that common thing. As it was I realised that apart from the kids there was nothing that kept us together.

So coming back to my Q in #1, don't U think that it might be more important then U make it???
I mean, being a biker is something that is in your blood. It never goes away. U at times move/get moved away from it. But U always come back if U really are one. And when with other bikers, even if U don't know them, U feel at home straight away. So add to that mix someone that does not understand it and does not care for it and surely U are asking for trouble?? I know the times I took my ex to parties, out for a ride or had my friends around. She never "clicked", never enjoyed it. But if she had been interested in bikes then she would have. Yes?

Ok but you could also say that maybe I should have started playing rugby and cricket so that I could have spent time with him and his passions. Which I have absolutely no interest in at all... but supported. I really think what was missing... was communciation. I think Joni said it well.

[Stickchick]

thats not verry ladylike:dodge:

and here is me thinking that was the politest way of putting it

[oldrider]

Reading all these posts just makes me feel thankful for my Mrs O/R.

She has had a bike licence herself for 36 odd years and even now would still ride mine if her legs were a bit longer.

(Yes, I have tried adjusting them but not for bike riding!)

She still rides on the back with me in all weathers, all through the year and doesn't moan. (well not too much anyway)

Not too bad for a 64 yr old is it.

When I saw my new Tiger advertised, it was her that said, just buy it if you want it!

We like to share the bike, she controls everything from the back wheel through to the speedo and I take charge of the rest, so you see it's a togetherness thing.

Her terms are a little more equal than mine but I do manage to take control of the speedo when she is tired and wants to get home.

I have to think of her needs sometimes, don't I!

Thanks for the thread Conquiztardor, it has helped me appreciate the old bird I have got. :yes: Cheers John.

[Conquiztador]

Reading all these posts just makes me feel thankful for my Mrs O/R.

She has had a bike licence herself for 36 odd years and even now would still ride mine if her legs were a bit longer.

(Yes, I have tried adjusting them but not for bike riding!)

She still rides on the back with me in all weathers, all through the year and doesn't moan. (well not too much anyway)

Not too bad for a 64 yr old is it.

When I saw my new Tiger advertised, it was her that said, just buy it if you want it!

We like to share the bike, she controls everything from the back wheel through to the speedo and I take charge of the rest, so you see it's a togetherness thing.

Her terms are a little more equal than mine but I do manage to take control of the speedo when she is tired and wants to get home.

I have to think of her needs sometimes, don't I!

Thanks for the thread Conquiztardor, it has helped me appreciate the old bird I have got. :yes: Cheers John.

U welcome John

I was not really thinking that I would here find an answer to my pondering. But interesting to see ppl's look at things.

FWIW, I DO think that by having the motor biking in common there is a better chance of succeeding. When things get tough I like to go out for a ride and blow away the cobwebs. What a bliss to be able to do that together...