Riff Raff
17th June 2007, 20:20
I know you've all been logging on to KB just to find out the behind-the-scenes action, so here it is folks.
Friday was test day at Manfield, followed by racing on Saturday. Funnily enough it's called the Winter series for a good reason, which meant the two days were spent with 'headlights' permanently on and no reason to check out any of the boys' packages. As usual I was kept pretty busy during the day as White Trash's chief Pit Bitch, but I managed to gather a few snippets.
During the test day on Friday ArcherWC tried to gain an advantage by getting rid of excess weight on his bike mid session. This provided a few challenges for the other riders who suddenly found the track had been changed into an obstacle course. Kicking Zebra decided swerving was for pussies but changed his tune when his bike started heading for the wall. A good save there which got him a 9/10 score from the spectators.
Keystone decided that she wanted to try a new fashion style by getting herself the motorbike racer's most common accessory. Anything to get out of the threesome she'd offered the night before!
On to race day...
One has to wonder about the powers of observation of two riders who mistook the Superlite class for Superbike. After heading out in the warmup lap they took their places on the grid before being summarily dismissed back to the pits.
One spectator used his experience of doing runners from the Police to evade track officials after jumping the fence to help a fallen rider pick up his bike during a race. He took his sweatshirt off so they wouldn't be able to recognise him!!! Go Mikey (oops was I supposed to mention your name?)
Jayracer and Nicko forgot the point of the meeting, and decided to have a competition on who could do the best Superman impression during the final Supersport race. Jay's effort in the warm up lap was spectacular and earned him a score of 8/10. Nicko's attempt was pretty lame and was more of a roly poly. Big ups to him 'though for making a second attempt, which was much better, but lacked the finesse shown by young Jay. When his score was combined (4/10 for the first and 5/10 for the second) he had managed to pip Jay by 1 point.
I was offered some of Sisterecho's fudge in exchange for not mentioning anything about Cowpoos in this report. Actually, apart from him using the Book of Excuses when he pulled out of his final race, he didn't do anything worth mentioning. Although after coming up behind Jayracer and giving him a hug, his pleasure noises were cut short when he realised it was me and not Cowpoos. Methinks there's a story there, but some more investigative journalism is required.
Nicksta grew some heeeeeeeuuuuuge balls for her last race (not sure where she hid them on her tiny frame), and carved up some of the bigger bikes on the corners in the sudden shower that hit just prior to the start of the race.
And we can't forget Flame who waited a few weeks to find out she had a broken arm, then went ahead and raced anyway.
Rossi Gal managed to shed her tough girl image when she was spotted wearing pink, fluffy gloves around the pits. However no more shall be said on that subject as the author was grateful for the loan of the aforementioned gloves during the day.
After the day's racing a certain Triumph rider sidled up to me and whispered, 'I've got something interesting in my underpants.' What a letdown it was to find out he was talking about the friction burn he'd received during one of his Superman moments. I'm sure his chat up line would have gone down a treat at the Mardi Gras he was attending in Ohakune that night 'tho.
Friday was test day at Manfield, followed by racing on Saturday. Funnily enough it's called the Winter series for a good reason, which meant the two days were spent with 'headlights' permanently on and no reason to check out any of the boys' packages. As usual I was kept pretty busy during the day as White Trash's chief Pit Bitch, but I managed to gather a few snippets.
During the test day on Friday ArcherWC tried to gain an advantage by getting rid of excess weight on his bike mid session. This provided a few challenges for the other riders who suddenly found the track had been changed into an obstacle course. Kicking Zebra decided swerving was for pussies but changed his tune when his bike started heading for the wall. A good save there which got him a 9/10 score from the spectators.
Keystone decided that she wanted to try a new fashion style by getting herself the motorbike racer's most common accessory. Anything to get out of the threesome she'd offered the night before!
On to race day...
One has to wonder about the powers of observation of two riders who mistook the Superlite class for Superbike. After heading out in the warmup lap they took their places on the grid before being summarily dismissed back to the pits.
One spectator used his experience of doing runners from the Police to evade track officials after jumping the fence to help a fallen rider pick up his bike during a race. He took his sweatshirt off so they wouldn't be able to recognise him!!! Go Mikey (oops was I supposed to mention your name?)
Jayracer and Nicko forgot the point of the meeting, and decided to have a competition on who could do the best Superman impression during the final Supersport race. Jay's effort in the warm up lap was spectacular and earned him a score of 8/10. Nicko's attempt was pretty lame and was more of a roly poly. Big ups to him 'though for making a second attempt, which was much better, but lacked the finesse shown by young Jay. When his score was combined (4/10 for the first and 5/10 for the second) he had managed to pip Jay by 1 point.
I was offered some of Sisterecho's fudge in exchange for not mentioning anything about Cowpoos in this report. Actually, apart from him using the Book of Excuses when he pulled out of his final race, he didn't do anything worth mentioning. Although after coming up behind Jayracer and giving him a hug, his pleasure noises were cut short when he realised it was me and not Cowpoos. Methinks there's a story there, but some more investigative journalism is required.
Nicksta grew some heeeeeeeuuuuuge balls for her last race (not sure where she hid them on her tiny frame), and carved up some of the bigger bikes on the corners in the sudden shower that hit just prior to the start of the race.
And we can't forget Flame who waited a few weeks to find out she had a broken arm, then went ahead and raced anyway.
Rossi Gal managed to shed her tough girl image when she was spotted wearing pink, fluffy gloves around the pits. However no more shall be said on that subject as the author was grateful for the loan of the aforementioned gloves during the day.
After the day's racing a certain Triumph rider sidled up to me and whispered, 'I've got something interesting in my underpants.' What a letdown it was to find out he was talking about the friction burn he'd received during one of his Superman moments. I'm sure his chat up line would have gone down a treat at the Mardi Gras he was attending in Ohakune that night 'tho.