Hitcher
17th September 2004, 10:25
1. Moles are always smaller than you imagine.
2. At the end of every party there is always a fat girl crying.
3. One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger
4. You're never quite sure whether it is ok to eat green crisps.
5. Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into
a calculator.
6. Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8. You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a
fire in your back garden.
9. Whatever your age the desire to make plastic dolls shag is almost
impossible to resist.
10. Nobody ever dares make cup a soup in a bowl.
11. You never know where to look when eating an apple.
12. Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13. Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14. Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15. You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16. Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17. The most embarrassing thing you can do as a schoolchild is to call
your teacher mum or dad.
18. The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at
the first given opportunity.
19. Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20. Every bloke has at some stage while taking a piss flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.
21. Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22. Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23. Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24. You never ever run out of salt.
25. Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26. You can't respect a man who carries a dog
27. There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
your hand or head stuck in something.
28. No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29. Despite constant warning you have never met anybody who has had
their arm broken by a swan.
30. The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on
an upturned plug.
31. People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
32. You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of
wood to specifically stir paint with.
33. Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34. Bricks are horrible to carry.
35. In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
36. Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones
2. At the end of every party there is always a fat girl crying.
3. One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger
4. You're never quite sure whether it is ok to eat green crisps.
5. Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into
a calculator.
6. Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7. Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
8. You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a
fire in your back garden.
9. Whatever your age the desire to make plastic dolls shag is almost
impossible to resist.
10. Nobody ever dares make cup a soup in a bowl.
11. You never know where to look when eating an apple.
12. Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13. Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14. Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15. You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16. Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17. The most embarrassing thing you can do as a schoolchild is to call
your teacher mum or dad.
18. The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at
the first given opportunity.
19. Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20. Every bloke has at some stage while taking a piss flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.
21. Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22. Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23. Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24. You never ever run out of salt.
25. Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26. You can't respect a man who carries a dog
27. There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
your hand or head stuck in something.
28. No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29. Despite constant warning you have never met anybody who has had
their arm broken by a swan.
30. The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on
an upturned plug.
31. People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
32. You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of
wood to specifically stir paint with.
33. Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34. Bricks are horrible to carry.
35. In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
36. Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones