JAFA joke

[Macktheknife]

An Aucklander parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office in Ponsonby ready to show it off to his colleagues.

As he's getting out of the car, a truck comes speeding along too close and takes off the Porsche’s door before speeding off.

More than a little distraught, the Aucklander grabs his cell phone and calls the police.

Five minutes later, the police arrive.

Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions, the Aucklander starts screaming hysterically: "My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long they work on it at the panel beaters it'll simply never be the same again!"

After the Aucklander finally finishes his rant, the policeman (a recent transfer) shakes his head in disgust: "I can't believe how materialistic you bloody Aucklanders are, " he says. "You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life!"

"How can you say such a thing at a time like this?" snaps the Jafa.

The policeman replies: "Didn't you realize that half your right arm was torn off when the truck hit you?"

The Aucklander looks down in absolute horror . "FUCKING HELL!!!!!!" he screams..... "Where's my Rolex?"







Footnote from a JAFA: The real joke here is – Auckland police arriving in 5 mins??

[skidMark]

lol fucking brilliant

[kevfromcoro]

BTW...Whats happened to Dover??? havent seen in here for ages..

[Babelfish]

Ha ha, nice. JAFA's are cunts :shifty:

I can say that now that I'm an arrocunt wellybumian

[RantyDave]

A guy from Dunedin, a guy from Wellington and an Aucklander are lost in the desert. They find an old lamp and, upon rubbing it, they are amazed to see a genie come out.

"You know the drill, one wish each"

The guy from Dunedin goes first: "Ah, mate, Dunedin's the best place in the world. All I want is to be back home, beer in hand, watching the rugby" and with whiff of smoke he was gone.

The Aucklander sees this and decides to one up him: "Nah, Auckland's the best place in the world. I want to be back home, beer in hand, watching the rugby with a hundred foot high wall of solid concrete built around Auckland to keep everyone else out". And with another whiff of smoke he was gone.

The Wellingtonian is about to speak when inspiration hits him: "This wall, round Auckland ... fill it full of water"

[kevfromcoro]

hahaha ..lucky we dont live there..

[NUTBAR]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[skidMark]

A guy from Dunedin, a guy from Wellington and an Aucklander are lost in the desert. They find an old lamp and, upon rubbing it, they are amazed to see a genie come out.

"You know the drill, one wish each"

The guy from Dunedin goes first: "Ah, mate, Dunedin's the best place in the world. All I want is to be back home, beer in hand, watching the rugby" and with whiff of smoke he was gone.

The Aucklander sees this and decides to one up him: "Nah, Auckland's the best place in the world. I want to be back home, beer in hand, watching the rugby with a hundred foot high wall of solid concrete built around Auckland to keep everyone else out". And with another whiff of smoke he was gone.

The Wellingtonian is about to speak when inspiration hits him: "This wall, round Auckland ... fill it full of water"

LOL nice

a new swimming pool...yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

[oldrider]

Some people could have their feelings hurt by this un-PC banter! :nono: John.

[skidMark]

Some people could have their feelings hurt by this un-PC banter! :nono: John.

like u ya grumpy old fart.

[robertydog]

i Like it.:laugh: :laugh:

[Chrislost]

auckland is a shithole

[oldrider]

like u ya grumpy old fart.

Piss take FFS!

[McJim]

Footnote from a JAFA: The real joke here is – Auckland police arriving in 5 mins??

All joking aside though - I didn't have to wait to long for the Mount Wellington Police to pick up the pieces when my Nissan got totalled with me in it.

[BarBender]

JAFAs dont drive Porsches and dont wear a Rolex.
They drive black Range Rover Vogues and wear Patek Philippe

The guy in the joke came from Christchurch and was passing through. The cop originally from Cambridge picked Hamilton for his first choice posting but got sent to Auckland Central.

[skidMark]

a range rover in auckland doesnt get parked they just stop in the road leave the hazards going and walk off

saw a little old lady do it recently to post her mail...stopped dead in the road shuts off the car completely leaves it there walked away for 2 mins n hopped back in...there was an open park right next to where she stopped...it was big enough...she just could not be bother parking her car.

i was like u bitch...

yeah she was old but fuck thats no excuse for stopping in the middle of a busy road

[rwh]

Note he was one of those wierdos who wears his watch on his right wrist ...

Richard

[skidMark]

i'm lefthanded...and i don't even wear a watch...it's called a cellphone.... lol

[kevfromcoro]

Piss take FFS!

haha..good one mark...sounds like u upset the old cunt.

[skidMark]

old cunt???? nah i love fresh young ones about 18-22ish ...hey i'm 20 it's okay! do you have a sister kev?....or are you married...more precisely...happily???

[kevfromcoro]

old cunt???? nah i love fresh young ones about 18-22ish ...hey i'm 20 it's okay! do you have a sister kev?....or are you married...more precisely...happily???

my appologys..should poke shit at other members;;; i like the young ones to...sorry no sister.missus fucked off at xmas. ..got a asain girlfriend..she is 28..old eh.....mind u iam 55.....got a body like a 14 yr old....we are only as old as the women we feel...lol...KEV

[ynot slow]

..got a asain girlfriend..she is 28..old eh.....mind u iam 55.....got a body like a 14 yr old....we are only as old as the women we feel...lol...KEV[/QUOTE]

Was in similar situation,mate introduced me too his friend,went out ,she wasn't overly friendly unless pissed,next time we went out I was dancing with her friend we got on fine.Started seeing her for a couple of months.
Met her folks,they were asking her what she wanted for her birthday,(they also were looking at me strange).Found out she was turning 19 the same day my exwife was turning 39.Then realised it was no wonder her parents were looking at me strange,she told them I was 30(was 37),mum was about 3yrs older than me.