Give me your analogies

[Big Dave]

I'm sure it'll be about as interesting as a Joan Armatrading record.


analogy:
a comparison between two things, typically on the basis of their structure and for the purpose of explanation or clarification

[TerminalAddict]

as funny as a cup of cold chuck

[Hitcher]

I'm drier than a Pom's towel.

Busier than a Beirut brickie.

It's blacker than a black thing.

If brains were gunpowder you couldn't blow your nose.

[RantyDave]

About as useful as a chocolate fireguard.

[FROSTY]

As bored as Big Dave on a wet wendsday night

[Big Dave]

As bored as Big Dave on a wet wendsday night

Waiting for his dinner.

[Drum]

Colder than a lawyer's heart.

Tighter than a nun's c**t

[Hitcher]

It handles like a badly sprung double bed.

It knocks like a shithouse door in the wind.

[Hitcher]

She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

[Pussy]

As popular as a Reggae Band at a Klu Klux Klan meeting

Drier than Gandhi's sandal

[Goblin]

As sober as a judge. :drinknsin

[Mom]

My friend FROSTY is as hyperactive as a fox terrier retrieving a tennis ball

Big Dave is as subtle and lovely as the feel of a silk scarf...and as astute as the sharpest ginsu knife money can buy in his comments on KB

Hitcher is as predictable as Monday following Sunday when it comes to punctuation and spelling on KB

[Marknz]

as useless as tits on a bull

as useless as an ashtray on a motorbike

[Drum]

She went off like a bucket of prawns in the sun.

Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

[Hitcher]

and as astute as the sharpest ginsu knife money can buy

But wait, there's more...

[NighthawkNZ]

tighter than a nuns c***

[Pussy]

She goes off like a keg at a wharfie's picnic

[Hitcher]

As happy as a mosquito in a nudist colony.

Tighter than a virgin's daughter. (to avoid another sad repost)

[Dave Lobster]

Bangs like a sh1t house door when the plague's in town.

[Dave Lobster]

As happy as a puff with two ar5eholes. (for the vesper riders here)

[Mom]

tighter than a nuns c***

No Mr Rudey taht (Hitcher is taht acceptable to BDOTGNZA?) should be ....it is tighter than a snappers arsehole.......:yes:

[NighthawkNZ]

No Mr Rudey taht (Hitcher is taht acceptable to BDOTGNZA?) should be ....it is tighter than a snappers arsehole.......:yes:

I never tried a snappers arse... doh

[Madness]

Happier than a pig in shit.

[Big Dave]

But wait, there's more...

and it involves tomatoes.:dodge:

[Edbear]

as funny as a cup of cold chuck



That's not vewry funny...!:bleh:

[Big Dave]

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

[Mom]

As cute as your son drawing on my walls with your lippy!

[smoky]

who needs a six pack when you've got a keg

You need a big hammer to drive a big nail

[smoky]

Hangin around like a spare arse

As useless as a milk bucket under a bull

[TerminalAddict]

as quick as a sack of hammers

going like 40 bastards

pulls like a school boy

[Mom]

pulls like a school boy

The Stranger knows that feeling :yes: :love:

[Skyryder]

As a bike needs two wheels a cock needs.............................. a stop. Ha Ha that fooled ya all. :dodge:


Skyryder

[Drum]

What was it Marc Ellis said?

Oh yeah.......

Sweating like a rapist.

Shocker!

[babyblade250rr]

As honest as a used car salesman

[98tls]

Sticks out more than a third ball on a greyhound........

[babyblade250rr]

Sticks out more than a third ball on a greyhound........

nice! havn't herd that before but NICE!

[KoroJ]

tighter than a nuns c***

.....in church!

[KoroJ]

As slow as a wet week.

[kiwifruit]

it was like throwing a cocktail sausage down a corridor

twas like throwing a cocktail sausage down spa road on rubbish day

[Krusti]

Felt like a spare prick in a brothel

[Storm]

As much use as tits on a bull
Rougher than hessian undies
Couldnt pull a needle out of his arse with a bulldozer
Slicker than a politicians promise

[TerminalAddict]

couldn't find his way out of a paper bag with a map

[Maha]

With teeth like that he could eat a pie through a pickett fence...

With teeth like that she could an apple through a tennis racket...

Fuck shes got a face on her like a busted onion...

[gijoe1313]

The situation was uglier than a hat full of arseholes....not only was the crowd getting ugly, my date looked worse. Before I looked up, all was blurry - turns out it was the bottom of the glass. I waited till time took on that doctor's room effect and looked back at her, bingo, her sleazy looks now took on the look of a Hilton bump stop (you don't get to bump till you've paid the parking fee).

I gave her the look over, much as a man dying of thirst in the desert does to a mirage that always seems over the next dune. She had more curves than a plate of spaghetti and a lop-sided grin that would do a the leaning tower of Pisa proud.

Bugger. A goombah that seemed to have King Kong as a parent gave me the look now. His gaze was intimidating, but more-so since it was cylcopean, peering out of his face that only a blind mother could love - he sauntered over with the grace that an elephant in a tutu didn't have.

With a breath like an egyptian mummy he rasped "Where's the money?"
I was staggered. Not by the breath, but that a knuckle-dragger like yours truly could string together a sentence like my grannie's knitting.

"I'm skint. Paying the Bills. That's Bill my parole officer, Bill in the betting shop and your missus for the shag the other night."

The reply went over his head like a boy vaulting a fence after his girlfriend's dad caught playing happy families with his daughter.

With this exchange of witty repartee, I decided I better call on my friend Colt. He had nine reasons to help get rid of this missing link in evolution and he spelt it out in numerals and captials. Point four five, A, C and P.

After a lively chinese firework drill, the mook got the point several times and I left my legless date in the bar,she'd taken to making friends with the floor after my impromptu cabaret show. As I left I took in the night, it was pitch black and darker than a fallen preacher's soul - guess I won't be welcome in town anymore after that, I've said my goodbyes and will be blowing the joint like a hippy on his last spliff. Slow and with nothing else in mind.

[Sanx]

As charming as a rabid pitbull.
Uglier than the arse end of a bus.
As exciting as an accountancy seminar.

And a couple of KB specials:
As ugly as a Gixxer.
As well-built as a Harley.
As honest as a traffic cop.
As reliable as a Ducati.
And ... as gay as Boomer.

[Big Dave]

As verbose as GI Joe.

[tri boy]

He had a face like a half sucked Melon.

[SARGE]

dumb as a bag of hair

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

[Big Dave]

Cricinfo: That's plumber that a large plumb from a plumb tree in plumb county.

[inlinefour]

Un PC, aka good shit: I'm as dry as a fuck with no foreplay.:gob:

[tri boy]

Un PC, aka good shit: I'm as dry as a fuck with no foreplay.:gob:

Massage the lips my freind, ....massage, massage...
oh.. is that un PC?

[Macktheknife]

Dumb as a bag of hammers.
Ugly as a hatful of aresholes.
She had a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.
flat out like a lizard drinking.
sweating like an Alabama nigger.
As subtle as an axe in the back.
As dry as a dead dogs dick.
off like a nightie on a wedding night.
off like a robbers dog.
up and down like a whores drawers.
more slippery than a butchers prick.
faster than a ferret on speed.
more fun then a ferret down your trousers.
more fun than a blowfly under your foreskin.
he was into her pants like a rat up a drainpipe.
bangin like a dunny door in a gale.

[sAsLEX]

It handles like a badly sprung double bed.

It knocks like a shithouse door in the wind.


A simile is a comparison of two unlike things, typically marked by use of "like", "as", "than", or "resembles". Examples may include "the snow was as thick as a blanket", or "she was as smart as a crow", or the usage of emotions similes like "madder than a bull" "fast like a cheetah".


Analogy is both the cognitive process of transferring information from a particular subject (the analogue or source) to another particular subject (the target), and a linguistic expression corresponding to such a process. In a narrower sense, analogy is an inference or an argument from a particular to another particular, as opposed to deduction, induction, and abduction, where at least one of the premises or the conclusion is general. The word analogy can also refer to the relation between the source and the target themselves, which is often, though not necessarily, a similarity, as in the biological notion of analogy.

Did he ask for similes? Or analogies? Would really hate to pick you up for an error in the use of the english language, but being an engineer I can't speak the england to well so am more that likely wrong.......


The bobbing of a cask on the ocean is analogous to simple harmonic motion.

Is that a correct analogy?

[scumdog]

Pongs like the inside of a Hindus gym-shoe...

Going through it as fast as a dose of salts through a sick Nigger..

Handles like a bag of broken arseholes..

A face like a ruptured custard....

Couldn't pull a sailor off your sister...

Up and down like a whores drawers on pay night..

All doubled-over like a greyhound shagging a hockey-ball..

[tri boy]

Dumb as a bag of hammers.
Ugly as a hatful of aresholes.
She had a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.
flat out like a lizard drinking.
sweating like an Alabama nigger.
As subtle as an axe in the back.
As dry as a dead dogs dick.
off like a nightie on a wedding night.
off like a robbers dog.
up and down like a whores drawers.
more slippery than a butchers prick.
faster than a ferret on speed.
more fun then a ferret down your trousers.
more fun than a blowfly under your foreskin.
he was into her pants like a rat up a drainpipe.
bangin like a dunny door in a gale.

Always wondered how the butchers prick got slick. Please explain....pigs head maybe?

[sAsLEX]

it was like throwing a cocktail sausage down a corridor

twas like throwing a cocktail sausage down spa road on rubbish day

Like fucking a bucket of warm water!

[T.W.R]

Dry as a wooden god
Slow as a wet week
Tight as a fish's asshole
Black as a hindoo's jockstrap
Mad as a March hare
Going like 40 bastards
Colder than a witches tit
Blowing like a bastard
Built like a brick shithouse
Face like a brick
Useful as tits on a bull
Just like a shearer's dog, all ribs & prick

[kro]

Sticks like shit to a blanket
Slicker than snot on a door knob

I have lots more, but only remember them when I'm in conversation.

[nadroj]

You'd loose your balls if they weren't in a bag!

[98tls]

she could suck a golf ball up a garden hose.............

[_Gina_]

He's got a face on him like a chewed up mintie.

I'd rather fist myself than [insert thing you would rather not do....]

[terbang]

Ref: Some motorcycle's performance.
'Couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding'.
or
'Couldn't pull a sailor of yer sister'.

And its as 'rare as rocking horse shit' is another favourite.

[Bass]

As dry as a buzzard's crutch.

Away like a gazelle on heat.

As ugly as sin

As rare as hen's teeth

As busy as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest

[vifferman]

tighter than a nuns c***
Ah... repost, Dude.

Try: "Tighter than a fish's arse - and that's watertight!"
Or: Tighter than a bull's arse in fly season."

[terbang]

'Lets make like a donkeys dick, and hit the road'

[sAsLEX]

she could suck a golf ball up a garden hose.............

Reminds me of a dit.....

Ugly guy out with his mates at a stag do in a strip joint starts getting hassled by the stripper on his mediocre looks, a bit pissed and alot angry he thinks of revenge. Later in the night the stripper is displaying her skill by picking notes off the stage, she then moves to coins. Seeing his opportunity he pulls 50p out of his pocket along with his lighter and starts to heat the coin, it gets hot, red hot so hot that his fingers are smoking but he is after revenge! Lobs the sizzling coin on to the stage where she proceeded to try suck the coin up :yes::shit: :gob:
They where promptly kicked out but he had a big smile on his face to go with his burnt fingers and her burnt..........

[avgas]

as dense as timbre,
as subtle as a sledgehammer,
i wouldn't touch her with your dick,
Pulled like underpaid malaysian....
Sucked like a Hoover

[ManDownUnder]

Jesus dude - I live by analogies... how many do you want (Actually it's hard to recall many - their use is very situational)

Gone like a fart in a fan factory

Something unpopular goes down
1) like a turd in a punchbowl
2) like a cup of cold sick

Boring at batshit

errr... many more - I'll be back as they come up

[Big Dave]

Splendid - alliteration analogy always an added attraction. Actually attaining any astounds at acceptance and acclaim awarded accordingly. An absolutely awesome achievement. Atypical. Adequately and appropriately appraised, all above are aware and attuned. eh.

[ManDownUnder]

Splendid - alliteration analogy always an added attraction. Actually attaining any astounds at acceptance and acclaim awarded accordingly. eh.

eh.........?

:clap::wari::clap::wari::clap::wari::clap::wari:

[Big Dave]

My regulars.

Like a frog in a sock. (actually a mixed metaphor)

Smaller than a bee's dick

Tyres harder than a Bulls forehead

busier than a one-armed bill poster in a gale

busier than a one-armed taxi driver with crabs

crook as Rookwood - (a big Cemetery in Sydney)

Gooder than a really good thing on national good thing day.

Off like a piece of cheese in the sun

Make like a shepherd and get the flock out of here

[Pixie]

Analogy : from the Greek Anal + Logy meaning to write a lot of shit.

[Big Dave]

eh.........?

:clap::wari::clap::wari::clap::wari::clap::wari:

I...see...dead words

[007XX]

I've been told I was:

Built like a racing sardine
As funny as a fart in a bottle (HUH???)
hyperactive as a hummugbird on P


and I'm sure I can think up some more....

PS: Horny as a toad (not me, but what the *&^%??? kind of an analogy is that??)

[Big Dave]

As witty as a Pixie.:laugh:

[Pixie]

Fred Gassit once said he was "drier than a nasty nun's dingo's donger"

[terbang]

A few more spring to mind...

'Off like a whores draws'

'Face like a smacked bottom'

'Banged like a shithouse door in a gale'

'Shit through the eye of a needle'

[inlinefour]

Massage the lips my freind, ....massage, massage...
oh.. is that un PC?

I just don't swing that way. Although any willing ladies out there that want it can come and get it. LOL. :yes:

[Kflasher]

My tyres were slipperier than an eel in teflon undies.

[Phils Motorcycles]

Pulls like a teenage boy with a credit card on a porn site.

[ManDownUnder]

Busy as a bee with a bumful of honey on a frosty Friday
Slipperier than an eel in a bucket of snot

[Holy Roller]

An old Pussers saying

How are you my old flower
Me bucket of spew....


I know its not an analogy .... maybe depending on who your friend is...:sick:

[vifferman]

A guy I worked with years ago used to use cliches/analogies in almost every sentence (e.g., "Be in there like a robber's dog", "Fits like a cock in a sock", "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a bowling green", etc.) After hearing, "Sticks like shit sticks to an army blanket" for the bazillionth time, I said, "How would you know?"
He was not amused :nono:
I don't think his time in the army was a happy one.

I've forgotten most of the ones I've come up with myself, but my boss started calling me "Random" after I said, "Run! Run like a baked bean!" to one of our workmates.
No, I dunno what it means either.

[Skyryder]

Analogies dear boy, is what he doctor can not cure.

Skyryder

[Swoop]

Built like a biafran racing snake.

[Big Dave]

Analogies dear boy, is what he doctor can not cure.

Skyryder

That's herpes, dopey. ;-P

[Hitcher]

Hotter than a Bangkok whore on heat.

[more_fasterer]

Uglier than Heilen Klerke without makeup.


My anus is open like mouth of tired dog

[Sanx]

Goes like shit off a shovel.
As rare as rocking horse shit.
Smells like an Arab's jockstrap.

[Big Dave]

'The only decent impression he can do is of a man with no talent.'

'He's the most overrated human being since Judas Iscariot
won the AD 31 Best Disciple Competition.'
'She's famous for having the worst personality in Germany,
and as you can imagine that's up against some pretty stiff
competition.'

'It minds me not that you dress like a mad parrot and talk like
a plate of beans negotiating their way out of a cow's digestive
system...'

'You're the worst entertainer since St Paul the Evangelist
toured Palestine with his trampoline act.'
I fear your services might be as useful as a barber's shop on
the steps of the guillotine.'
'(Wales is) a ghastly place, huge gangs of tough, sinewy men
roaming the valleys terrifying people with their close-harmony
singing. You need half a pint of phlegm in your throat just to
pronounce the place names. Never ask for directions in Wales,
Baldrick - you'll be washing spit out of your hair for a
fortnight.'
'You are to be congratulated, my friend. We live in an age
where illness and deformity are commonplace, and yet,
Ploppy, you are, without a doubt, the most repulsive individual
I have ever met. I would shake your hand, but fear it would
come off.' -- Blackadder,

'He's got a brain the size of a weasel's wedding tackle.' -- Blackadder

[chris]

makes my heart flutter like a squirrel in a ziplock bag

[kiwifruit]

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

[NighthawkNZ]

Like... yah know...

[codgyoleracer]

The race track was slipperier than a poofta on heat :Punk:

[Skyryder]

'The only decent impression he can do is of a man with no talent.'

'He's the most overrated human being since Judas Iscariot
won the AD 31 Best Disciple Competition.'
'She's famous for having the worst personality in Germany,
and as you can imagine that's up against some pretty stiff
competition.'

'It minds me not that you dress like a mad parrot and talk like
a plate of beans negotiating their way out of a cow's digestive
system...'

'You're the worst entertainer since St Paul the Evangelist
toured Palestine with his trampoline act.'
I fear your services might be as useful as a barber's shop on
the steps of the guillotine.'
'(Wales is) a ghastly place, huge gangs of tough, sinewy men
roaming the valleys terrifying people with their close-harmony
singing. You need half a pint of phlegm in your throat just to
pronounce the place names. Never ask for directions in Wales,
Baldrick - you'll be washing spit out of your hair for a
fortnight.'
'You are to be congratulated, my friend. We live in an age
where illness and deformity are commonplace, and yet,
Ploppy, you are, without a doubt, the most repulsive individual
I have ever met. I would shake your hand, but fear it would
come off.' -- Blackadder,

'He's got a brain the size of a weasel's wedding tackle.' -- Blackadder


Baldrick: Don't worry, mister Blackadder. I have a cunning plan to solve the problem.
Blackadder: Yes, Baldrick, let us not forget that you tried to solve the problem
of your mother's low ceiling by cutting off her head.

Skyryder

[T.W.R]

Cunning as a shithouse rat
As much class as a rat with a gold tooth
Bouncing around like a fart in a bottle
As useful as a hole in the head
Running around like a headless chook
About as helpful as pissing into a Norwester
Nutty as a fruitcake
Fits like a cheap suit
More tit than dolly Parton
Hung like a horse
More crack than Harlem

[peasea]

As fussy as a KB mod

[Hitcher]

As fussy as a KB mod

All over it like white on rice.

[peasea]

All over it like white on rice.

I've got my dick in a bowl and I'm fuckin' dis custard

[Hitcher]

Hungover like a performance by Ron Jeremy.

Smoother than a porn star's mons.

[Kittyhawk]

When I think of something I'll reply, but until then my avatar explains it all!

[peasea]

When I think of something I'll reply, but until then my avatar explains it all!

Not to me it doesn't

[Kittyhawk]

Not to me it doesn't

One brain cell cant cope with all this stimulation of thinking...lol

[The Lone Rider]

_______fill in blank____ like an old person fucks.

ie.. all of you lot play guitar like an old person fucks.

[chris]

nuttier than squirrel shit

[Hitcher]

All over the place like a mad woman's breakfast.

[SARGE]

All over it like ......


ugly on an ape...


stink on shit...

[sAsLEX]

All over the place like a mad woman's breakfast.

I still feel this thread is not about analogies but rather similes and the like.

[Hitcher]

Like a sausage so black, even its white bits were black?

[more_fasterer]

Brown like a brown fire engine

[peasea]

Slicker than owl shit.

[Phils Motorcycles]

Blowing like a $5 hooker during Field Days.

[MisterD]

Handles like a pig on rollerskates

[Big Dave]

Like a sausage so black, even its white bits were black?

Like it were always rainin' on Denley Moor.

[gijoe1313]

O learned and esteemed constabularies of the word, cast your visage across this article of note and extrapolate the keened nexus of its mien!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Analogy

Woo hoo! It is the bee's knees thats illing with its shizzleness!

[kro]

I have anology, I cant eat wheat.

[avgas]

it was this big

[Big Dave]

I'm as happy as Hugh Heffner on a Viagra drip.

[The Stranger]

One for Helen - teeth like the ten commandments.

As subtle as a brick suppository.

As tight as a school boy.

A cunt like a horse collar.

[c4.]

He was about as popular as an abbo in a liquor shop.

She had a face like a slapped cat's arse.

I'm pretty sure she could suck start a bus.

Watching her walk down the street was like watching 2 pigs fighting in a sack.

[Ocean1]

Not above a bit of bribery and corruption in much the same way that the sea is not above the sky.

[Big Dave]

Looks like clean up day in Bosnia.

[Mr Merde]

As welcome as a fart in a submarine.

As useful as a chocolate teapot.

As welcome as a pork pie at a barmitzpha.

[terbang]

'As dry as a wooden God'

'Tastes like the inside of a Hindu's jock strap'

[avgas]

innocent as OJ (or MJ)

[boomer]

As charming as a rabid pitbull.
Uglier than the arse end of a bus.
As exciting as an accountancy seminar.

And a couple of KB specials:
As ugly as a Gixxer.
As well-built as a Harley.
As honest as a traffic cop.
As reliable as a Ducati.
And ... as gay as Boomer.

If wit were shit... you'd be constipated ;)

[tri boy]

Feel'n Blue, as a new Tatoo.
Who sang that again.(christ my memory is shot).:whocares:

[FlangMasterJ]

As sweaty as a dog in a Chinese restaurant.

[pete376403]

vibrates like a dog shitting a length of chain - referring to some motorcycle engines.

[Dilligaf]

You're all as funny as diarrhoea in a wetsuit.
:bleh:

[Big Dave]

Feel'n Blue, as a new Tatoo.
Who sang that again.(christ my memory is shot).:whocares:

Jaysus - even I know that!

And my tattoos were more red than blue - for a few days.

[Ewan Oozarmy]

Sweating like an Aussie in a spelling test

(was "sweating like a Northerner in a spelling test" in England but I thought I'd better adapt to surroundings :))

[Sully60]

She had a face like a dropped pie.

And how did that episode of the Sopranos go when Pauly Gaultirerie made reference to the large staure of johnny Sac's wife:
I heard her arse was so big she had a ten pound mole on it.

[Big Dave]

Sweating like an Aussie in a spelling test

(was "sweating like a Northerner in a spelling test" in England but I thought I'd better adapt to surroundings :))

Whilst I appreciate the effort at adaption, I can't help but note the irony in such perspicacious aspersions coming from one who's 'whose' is, whilst most admirably clever, a Bohemian's phonetic.

Spell that, sunshine.

BOGA-whater will be on the case next.

[mstriumph]

................ anyone ever made any sense of still-enduring ones "cute as a button"? and "dead as a doornail"?

if so, please explain??? :(

[Big Dave]

................ anyone ever made any sense of still-enduring ones "cute as a button"? and "dead as a doornail"?

if so, please explain??? :(


Guess:

Button were big things once.

Doornails used on coffins.

I did learn why 'Grog' is called grog today.

[Hitcher]

Thick as two short planks.

[Ewan Oozarmy]

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.
As useful as a chocolate teapot.

[MisterD]

Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a rockingchair factory.

Lower than a rattlesnake's belly in a cart-rut.

***edit***

What about (the great) Bill McLaren's description of Doddie Weir: "He's like a mad giraffe!"

[ynot slow]

Who can forget Marc Ellis's comment on sports cafe "sweating like a rapist" or this gem as well "Lana what's your name spelt backwards?".

As pretty as the north end of a cow on a southbound train.

Dick Johnsons' bathurst beaudy "electrical problem,piston jumped outa bed and knocked the bloody dissy off".

[davereid]

Income tax = being fined for being productive

[mart1]

I'm out of here like a bald man.

[Goblin]

I'm out of here like a bald man.:laugh::killingme

Thanks for the giggle guys. Given too much rep an all:rolleyes: Love the Ellis and Lana ones. :lol:

I'll just make like a golfer and T off, or like a shepard and get the flock out of here.

[marty]

All over the place like a mad woman's breakfast.

or if you work for the police or mental health - it's 'all over the place like a mad woman's shit'

[marty]

hot as a hot thing

i'm out of here like a shaved pussy

he's as good as a warm beer on a cold day

[pete376403]

She had a face like a dropped pie.

And how did that episode of the Sopranos go when Pauly Gaultirerie made reference to the large staure of johnny Sac's wife:
I heard her arse was so big she had a ten pound mole on it.
Ralphies one was better - "Her arse was so big it had its own area code" (in reference to the same person)

[Hitcher]

or if you work for the police or mental health - it's 'all over the place like a mad woman's shit'

I was being genteel (for once). "Sticks like ice-cream to a rug" is another favorite that my Mum uses.

[MisterD]

Ralphies one was better - "Her arse was so big it had its own area code" (in reference to the same person)

My Father-in-law uses "as wide as two axe-handles" to describe that condition

[Finn]

"Sticks like ice-cream to a rug" is another favorite that my Mum uses.

Does she use this when changing your sheets? Naughty boy.

[avgas]

As useful as a spirograph

[_Gina_]

My Father-in-law uses "as wide as two axe-handles" to describe that condition
She had a negative height to weight ratio

[Swoop]

Feel'n Blue, as a new Tatoo.
Who sang that again.(christ my memory is shot).:whocares:
Hammond Gamble?

..."dead as a doornail"?
if so, please explain???

Guess:
Doornails used on coffins.
When a joiner nailed doors together (many moons ago) the nails used to protrude through the other side of the door and was then punched over 90degrees to be flush with the surface. The condition of the nail when flush with the surface was referred to as being "dead"...

[tri boy]

Hammond Gamble?

Still can't remember, (or really care). While that dribble:sleep: was squeaking out of night clubs around NZ, I was tuned to Rose Tatoo, Angels, AC/DC etc.
:woohoo::headbang:
Bonn Scot, Angry Anderson......oh hell yeah!

[NordieBoy]

she could suck a golf ball up a garden hose.............

She could suck start a Harley.

[FlangMasterJ]

She could suck start a leaf blower.

[klingon]

Running like a watercolour in the rain

[Laava]

As full as an Abo's nose.
Black as a bats arse.

[The Stranger]

Running like a watercolour in the rain

Al Stewart - year of the cat.

[hXc]

Like throwing a sausage down a hallway.
I'm gunna head off like a guillotine.

[Pussy]

Blue as a new tattoo?..... Graham Brazier, Hello Sailor

[Timber020]

has a face a shotgun could improve

As dumb as a shrub

fast as a five cent fuck

Camp as a row of tents

[hXc]

Madder than a skinhead watching The Jeffersons.
Madder than a carload of queers getting pulled over for doin' a 69 in a 55.
Madder than a one-legged waitress at the IHOP.
Happier than Jim Nabors with a wheelbarrow full of butt holes.
Happier than a tornado in a trailer park.

Thanks to Daniel Whitney (aka Larry The Cable Guy) for those.
He plays Mater in Cars and stars in Blue Collar Comedy Tour and Blue Collar TV.

[surfchick]

As full as an Abo's nose.
...

um..:( that one might be better left to rot in the bowels of the past along with nigger in a coal pile dude -it's 2007

I prefer potty humor to racial slurrs:
spreading it from "arsehole to breakfast" was allegedly kicking around in the 1930's...:baby:

and for bad weather:
that wind would clean corn

I'm not as green as I am cabbage-looking (old irish saying)

[Hawkeye]

As much use as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.

[kevfromcoro]

your bike wouldnt pull a sick whore out of bed