Divorce first aid kit for men

[gunnyrob]

Hiya All, I've just been reading some threads that ramble on for some time that were asking for practical help for blokes getting divorced.

My advice would have been lost in the muck, so a really good resource is www.menz.org.nz , especially their divorce first aid kit for men (google it)

It's now a little old (1998) but 95% is truly excellent advice that I used for good effect when I went through my unexpected split. Using this kit, I was prepared for almost everything the ex threw at me, and came out realitively sane.

I have also highly recommended it to guys at work as well.

Divorce is pretty rough at the best of times, especially if kids & false accusations, CYPS, and protection orders are involved. However, a wise man once wrote:

"It is better to have loved and lost....




















than still be married to a PSYCHO!!!!":sunny:

[ManDownUnder]

An awkward topic, but one that needs to be aired...

:niceone:

[janno]

This is a good topic to bring up - the way some women use their kids as ammunition and take pleasure from causing financial difficulty to their ex makes me cringe.

It's not a "female" trait though, IMHO, it's an "selfish slimeball" trait, and I've seen it in both sexes . . .

Just seems to be mostly women, as more often the man is the main earner and they (wife) get custody.

Shame you can't neuter people who think behaving like that is a good thing. Otherwise they just breed it into the next generation and on it goes . . .

[SARGE]

hell man .. im on wife #4.. only first aid kit i ever needed..

[gunnyrob]

I fully agree that both genders can do horrible things during the process of divorce. What I found by using the kit was that I was forewarned on what could happen.

I thought things were going to be able to be amicably sorted, heck even with a possibility of reconciliation, but after being hit over the head with a protection order etc. I found that I was better off by myself.

After 6 years, we now have an ok attitude towards each other, because we need to be there for my son.

[SARGE]

I fully agree that both genders can do horrible things during the process of divorce. What I found by using the kit was that I was forewarned on what could happen.

I thought things were going to be able to be amicably sorted, heck even with a possibility of reconciliation, but after being hit over the head with a protection order etc. I found that I was better off by myself.

After 6 years, we now have an ok attitude towards each other, because we need to be there for my son.

Military and divorce go together like Peanut Butter and Jam.. first 2 of mine were while i was in the service ..

good luck gunny

[Dave Lobster]

Wouldn't it be cheaper and over quicker to simply use your car to run over said 'wife'?
A couple of months in the nick for the 'accident' and you're home free.

[JimO]

hell man .. im on wife #4.. only first aid kit i ever needed..

a bit less of the booze and you may have cut out a couple of these wifes:yes:

[SARGE]

a bit less of the booze and you may have cut out a couple of these wifes:yes:

nothing to do with it.. i just need to stop introducing them to my mates :doh:

[duckaddict]

For sure both genders are capable of ruining what one thought to be the perfect marriage, I could be wrong but there seems to be more and more stories where the female are to blame. Doesn't marriage vows mean anything anymore? Sad indeed.

[janno]

For sure both genders are capable of ruining what one thought to be the perfect marriage, I could be wrong but there seems to be more and more stories where the female are to blame. Doesn't marriage vows mean anything anymore? Sad indeed.

In any relationship breakdown there are three versions - his story, her story and the truth.

Just my .5c :sunny:

[duckaddict]

In any relationship breakdown there are three versions - his story, her story and the truth.

Just my .5c :sunny:

What can I say, you're a journalist you should know the truth :sunny:

[Sniper]

nothing to do with it.. i just need to stop introducing them to my mates :doh:

Mates???? :shit:

[BuFfY]

Just send the men to me, I'll help them get over their wives ;)


In all seriousness it is a topic that a lot of guys don't want to discuss with their mates, so I guess a lil kit could help them out:sunny:

[ManDownUnder]

Mates???? :shit:

Mates (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/mate) see definition 18... (SARGE - no slight on any past aquaintances of yours... male or female...)

[FROSTY]

In any relationship breakdown there are three versions - his story, her story and the truth.

Just my .5c :sunny:
NO JANNO--His version,His lwayers version,her version,her lawyers version
And then the truth

[janno]

NO JANNO--His version,His lwayers version,her version,her lawyers version
And then the truth

Bling to you!! Good one!!!!! :yes:

[FROSTY]

OMG no I still got it wrong--His/hers/the lawyers/the version told to the judge/the version told to CYPS the version told to the guys doing the property valuations

[Mrs Busa Pete]

My view is it takes 2 make a marriage and it takes 2 to break a marriage all party need to relize that and stop blaming each other.

[Aslan]

clearly each circumstance and pain is unique. For those in Wellington, Wairarapa and Kapiti I found this organistion very helpfu helping me cope following the breakdown of my marriage of 24 years. This was 12 years ago. I found WSD very supportive non judgemental offering practical coping skills.
http://www.wellington.govt.nz/services/commdirectory/display-group.php?id=57

Also I found this book to be helpful
http://www.amazon.com/Rebuilding-When-your-Relationship-Ends/dp/188623017X

cheers Aslan :scooter:

[chanceyy]

In any relationship breakdown there are three versions - his story, her story and the truth.

Just my .5c :sunny:

never a truer word spoken .. & one of my fav soapbox topics .. kids never ask to be born, & to turn them into pawns for games is down right disgusting .. each child needs their mum & their dad & at least each party should respect that rather than try & turn the child against them .. grrrrrrrr