View Full Version : Opening up- No one to talk to. I dont expect anyone to read or answer this.
Mr Merde
21st July 2007, 12:12
I'm sitting here in my home by myself. Partner at work and far from my family.
This morning I have had news of the worst kind. The cousin i have been closest to through my life time has just this morning, died.
He was 3 years older than I. When growing up he was the person closest to me that I looked up to. He started me on bike riding. He encouraged me to take up shooting. I lived with him and his family for a year and he helped me with my homework at that time.
He contracted the big C and has been very ill. I visited him in hospital last week and had planned to visit him today.
I couldnt as he passed away at 6:45 this morning.
Seven years ago we had a massive arguement and we havent until last week, spoken to each other. When i visited him in hospital we just forgot about all the shit that had passed between us and chatted as we used to. He told his younger cousin what to do, he was just my cousin. We were just mates again.
Now he has gone. Why did we let all those years go by just ignoring each other, I dont know. maybe we were too much alike. Too proud too stubborn to approach each other.
I'm 50 years old and I'm sitting here wiping the tears away and feeling as useless as hell.
Life is too fucking short to let stupid arguements ruin things.
MIKE, I thank you for looking after your little cousin. I thank you for teaching my that 22/7 is Pi and what it means. I thank you for letting me ride your Francis Barnett 200cc motorbike when I was 13. For showing me how to have fun with a .22 bolt action rifle. For putting up with me.
Most of all thanks for being my cousin.
Mr :shit: (aka Chris Breen)
Dedicated ro my cousin
Michael Moodie ( died July 21, 2007)
crashe
21st July 2007, 12:15
My condolances to you and your family.........
:grouphug:
RIP Michael
Mint Sauce
21st July 2007, 12:21
My heart felt everything on this.
I'm about the same age and have had some similar experiences:
Father died while were in a non talking period after one of our regular arguments.
Just caught up with a mate, was my best mate and brother in law for a while, after 30 years apart due to a misunderstanding. He is almost half cut away now with cancer and the future looks grim. It was great to catch up but oh what a waste of years.
The things I've learnt:
Don't hang onto shit. The only one who really loses by anger is the one holding it.
I'm damn sure I'm not going to let my son have the pain of his father dying while in the midst of a non speaking period.
All the very best to you and hope the pain does not sit with you too long.
Trudes
21st July 2007, 12:24
Nothing any of us can say will probably help you at the moment, so all I'm going to say is that it is fantastic that you both had the opportunity to make peace with each other before he passed, a lot of people don't and regret it. So :hug:s to you Chris. Remember the good memories of a fantastic sounding cousin.
janno
21st July 2007, 12:27
I feel for you, Mr Merde. One of the nicest things I thought about when my mother died was a Torres Straight Islander belief that when someone dies, the person's spirit stays around for three days to be with the people that loved them and hear what they have to say.
Even though my Mum and I had a close and loving relationship, the thought that she was just checking up on things for a few days before she left for good was very comforting.
So keep talking to your friend like you are doing, he'll be listening.
:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:
Jan.
Holy Roller
21st July 2007, 12:39
My thoughts are with you at this time.
Sniper
21st July 2007, 12:42
..........................
All the best.
tri boy
21st July 2007, 12:43
Condolences Chris. Honour your cousin with happy memories that involved both of you. Don't sweat the lost time you had without him. You both gave each other special moments.
Sadness passes, but the moments in time that you treasure will remain.
klingon
21st July 2007, 12:53
Life is too fucking short to let stupid arguements ruin things.
Too right. And you didn't let it ruin things. It's wonderful that you went and saw your cousin Mike last week and had a chance to talk to him again. There is never enough time to say all the things you want to say to the people you love, but I'm so glad you had the chance to see him, and for him to see you.
Thank you for sharing those heart-felt words. I hope it will help some other people here to realise what's important in life.
My father is dying of cancer right now (deteriorating rapidly) and I'm trying to spend as much time with him as I can. I can't tell him how I feel about him, but I think he understands from my actions. Every cup of tea I make, and every pillow I adjust to make him comfortable, is done with love.
Sending hugs your way, Chris.
Edbear
21st July 2007, 12:59
Nothing any of us can say will probably help you at the moment, so all I'm going to say is that it is fantastic that you both had the opportunity to make peace with each other before he passed, a lot of people don't and regret it. So :hug:s to you Chris. Remember the good memories of a fantastic sounding cousin.
+1...
10char
scumdog
21st July 2007, 13:03
Condolences Mr M.
A part of life we tend to ignore is:
EVERYBODY is going to die sometime - just some die earlier/nastier than the rest of us expect.
Some people put death as far from their mind as possible - and it hits them so must harder when it does happen.
Virago
21st July 2007, 13:07
Hi Chris,
Thanks for having the guts to post that.
My thoughts are with you.
Scorpygirl
21st July 2007, 13:09
Condolences to you Chris. Hold onto all those special memories of your cousin. :hug::hug::hug:
Mr Merde
21st July 2007, 13:47
I thank you all.
Its been real hard opening this thread up to read what has been posted.
I spent my last hour with Mike talking about bikes.
Told him I really wanted to build a drag bike up. (he is the person who first introduced me to bike riding)
Told me to get an old Triumph engine. Bore into the cylynder and attach a superchaeger to the ne intake.
He called it " 2 stroke it"
never heard of this before.
He talked about his bikes to me, his favourite bike was a TS 185 Suzuki. He had a lot over his time here. he loved off road riding.
New Zealand has lost someone who was passionate about bike riding.
Now join me in one of my other threads.
The Sun Is over the Yardarm.
and raise a glass to my friend and cousin
Mike.
jester67
21st July 2007, 15:38
Forget the bad, celebrate the good. I am sure your cousin would have wished it that way.
In his last days he would not have wanted you to be sad - so try not to be. Grab a journal (or a pad) and write down as much as you can about the good times you had - when you read them again you will remember others and you can write those down. Then you'll always have him with you.
Macktheknife
21st July 2007, 17:16
Chris, my thoughts are with you, be glad that you were able to clear the air with him before he went, so much worse if you had not. LeChayim (To life!).
007XX
21st July 2007, 17:48
Sincere condolences Chris.
I feel my words would be useless, and I haven't met you, but my thoughts are with you.
Take care.
86GSXR
21st July 2007, 17:58
Very sorry to hear this Chris.
carver
21st July 2007, 18:00
I'm sitting here in my home by myself. Partner at work and far from my family.
This morning I have had news of the worst kind. The cousin i have been closest to through my life time has just this morning, died.
He was 3 years older than I. When growing up he was the person closest to me that I looked up to. He started me on bike riding. He encouraged me to take up shooting. I lived with him and his family for a year and he helped me with my homework at that time.
He contracted the big C and has been very ill. I visited him in hospital last week and had planned to visit him today.
I couldnt as he passed away at 6:45 this morning.
Seven years ago we had a massive arguement and we havent until last week, spoken to each other. When i visited him in hospital we just forgot about all the shit that had passed between us and chatted as we used to. He told his younger cousin what to do, he was just my cousin. We were just mates again.
Now he has gone. Why did we let all those years go by just ignoring each other, I dont know. maybe we were too much alike. Too proud too stubborn to approach each other.
I'm 50 years old and I'm sitting here wiping the tears away and feeling as useless as hell.
Life is too fucking short to let stupid arguements ruin things.
MIKE, I thank you for looking after your little cousin. I thank you for teaching my that 22/7 is Pi and what it means. I thank you for letting me ride your Francis Barnett 200cc motorbike when I was 13. For showing me how to have fun with a .22 bolt action rifle. For putting up with me.
Most of all thanks for being my cousin.
Mr :shit: (aka Chris Breen)
Dedicated ro my cousin
Michael Moodie ( died July 21, 2007)
thanks dude, for sharing that, it but life back into perspective.
some people i know had their 20 month old baby die this week, just seeing photo's of the kid happy and alive really moved me...but its part of life eh...death
deanohit
21st July 2007, 18:04
Sorry to hear that mate. The only thing I feel I can say to help you is to remember him from when he was younger and full of life insted of sick in a hospital bed. Things like you say below=
I thank you for teaching my that 22/7 is Pi and what it means. I thank you for letting me ride your Francis Barnett 200cc motorbike when I was 13. For showing me how to have fun with a .22 bolt action rifle. For putting up with me.
Will now go have a toast to him in your other thread mate.
kneescraper
21st July 2007, 18:14
RIP
Pride, Ego and Shame can be one of the most distroying human behaviours. I have lost many a friend because of one of these actions. However its easer said than done, not to allow us to be taken over by one or more of these habits.
Im so happy for you, you two have put these things behind you and are at peace. Like you said mate, life is to short...dont allow you thoughts of regret take over you. Be happy and content that you guys were at peace.
With Cancer, as sad as it sounds, death can be very releaving for the patient. My Grandmother died from Cancer, it was the best thing for her because of the way he mind was dieing from all of the stresses of having the disease.
Let peace be with you and your family and friends. Thank you for sharing that with us.
chanceyy
21st July 2007, 18:15
Condolences & huggzz to you Chris .. I agree with Mrs KD ... Life can pass us so quickly .. regardless of time wasted no one can take your memories & you had the chance to just talk as if crap had never happened .. Later once your grief has eased you will be really appreciative of that
go with speed Mike .. RIP
Winston001
21st July 2007, 18:51
You showed a lot of courage sharing your pain. Big ups to you man. It is crushing to lose someone whom you really care about. Allow yourself to feel the sorrow, it is real and a part of understanding life.
We can all learn from your experience. Thanks for sharing.
YellowDog
21st July 2007, 20:12
Sorry to hear your new Chris. I can relate to your situation. You both left each other on a close and positive note. I am happy for you in this respect. Chin up mate!
gijoe1313
22nd July 2007, 00:38
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ManDownUnder
23rd July 2007, 11:12
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