Poo's Team Racing VMCC rn3 "return of the jedi"

[cowpoos]

In a galaxy far far far far far [you get the point!!!] away
a new breed of warrior emerges from the wars of the old republic
A breed of warrior that likes to wear colouful tight leather suits
and do battle on machines that have controled explosions between their legs thousands of times a minute
and not because they are trying to make up for anything!! HONEST!!
but we do have to look mighty good while racing
and we love pies!! alot!!

[cowpoos]

Well…the VMCC round 3 started on Friday afternoon as myself [Darth Vadar…because this is my story and I can be who ever I choose] and princess Leah [sisterecho] left the gal-spastic city of The Tron in the millinium scoobie roo [my piece of shit b4….which is still for sale if someone wants the fricken thing!!]
At about 2pm-ish…this was instead of our trip down at 3am the preivious meeting last month…
After leisurly travel we arrived at spaceport manfields [which is situated on the outer planetary rim] at about 7pm western-sembiotic-polymaggortarmine-tripingdaisy-horizoertically time…which is incidently the same as 7pm normal time.

Where we had the pleasure of catching up with the Yoda[Robert taylor],chewie [Mr Trashy],jabba the hut[speedie],a few ewoks[steve,family,et al], and a storm trooper [Riff Raff] for a quick hello and drink while they were finishing dinner…chewie and jabba seem very excited about how the new space chariot is going to go,after the days testing!
Without much time passing we all walked to our transporters and back to the motel for sleep…sadly no-one wanted to get a crate of galatic space piss [TUI] bar me…so looking like a early night then!! Small debate with Princess Leah over who gets which room…some tv is watched and sleep is had!!

Wake up at 7:30 western-sembiotic-polymaggortarmine-tripingdaisy-horizoertically time…which is incidently the same as 7:30am normal time…take a piss once the barf room is free [princess Leah takes a while to brush her teeth I think????] have a nosey outside…skys clearing nicely! Sah-wheet !!! [<-- chewie slang for cool!!]

Got to the track at about 8:00am western-sembiotic-polymaggortarmine-tripingdaisy-horizoertically time…which is incidently the same as 8:00am normal time.
Found my space chariot,which was brought down the previous day by the CP3O human cyborg relations,conversant in over 2 million forms of communication [kickingzebra] and R2D2 [Mrs Kickingzebra].
Princess Leah and myself put the tyre warmers on the space chariot and soon afterwards Han’s Solo [jayracer37] turned up in the millinium fool-can…so Leah swanned off to go greet her dashing champion.
After a rather not brief riders brief and signing in for the day I caught up with a few regulars for brief hellos before battle,I saw HDTboy the gizka [Gizka
Gizka are small,space frog-like creatures which will adapt to almost any environment very swiftly, and reproduce just as quickly ] hopping around the place looking far to pleased with himself,Luke skywalker [twosmoker…come on he’s got the whole luke skywalker come have a lookie at my lightsabre thing going on!!] who was looking fairly confident for the day ahead, Obe-Wan Kenobi [nicko] and a few others.

[cowpoos]

SuperSport qualifing/superbike practice:
CP30 human cyborg relations conversant in over 2 million forms of communication was quietly confident about his choice of wets for the earily sessions,as I was confident with the fact there wouldn’t be much standing water left on the track so I stuck with slicks…that and I couldn’t be arse changing the tyres [ at this point I will add Poo’s Team Racing was sooo prepared for this round with space chariot prep,that the space chariots were on the trailer and ready to go as soon as they made it home after round 2…]
Out the gate we go,few a few puddles on pit lane…into turn one…hmm…tracks still damp…feel my way around for a bit…not really getting much information back from my front tyre…so I was feeling a lil hesitant at first to up the pace much…but gradually did had a bit of play coming out of higgans and coke spinning up the rear tyre which was fun fun fun!!! But counter-productive as I was later to discover! I sensed something was following me,but couldn’t hear any exhaust note or sense anything with my evil dark side powers!,not long after chewie [Mr trashy] ZAPPED past me on his space chariot…I tried to use evil dark side mind tricks on him.But Wookiies don’t have much brains to play mind tricks on…Pulled in a lap or two earily.

As I was about to replace the tyre warmers with Princess Leah’s help…we notice a rather ugly deep pattern developing in the rear tyre on the right hand side [manfield is a mainly right hand track]…right about where your applying a lot of power as your lifting the bike up…Yoda [Robert Taylor] clicked a few more notchs of rebound on the space-asorber to help cure the problem…I kinda of knew it was history for that tyre based on past experience…

Not long after CP30 human cyborg relations,conversant in over 2 million forms of communication starts waddling around saying something about pole’s rather excitedly
And hardly able to understand him,I threatened to turn him into a tin mug with my lightsabre if he didn’t settle down…turns out he got pole position for supersport…sah-wheat [<-- chewie slang for cool!!] …and Luke skywalker was 2nd followed by Han’s Solo 3rd..

[cowpoos]

Superbike qualifing/supersport practice: out we go…this was an interesting affair for me…as I was mentally aware that I have a less than perfect rear tyre,in slippery conditions…which I backed off after a couple of errrr that’ll do type laps…with a couple of moments almost every time coming out of higgans. Somehow I still managed to qualify 13th which is okay I suppose…but I really need to be as close to the front as I can because my starts are crap!!! [and that is an understatement]

Back in…warmers back on quick look at the deteriating rear end…meh…powerful is the dark side!

CP30 human cyborg relations,conversant in over 2 million forms of communication was up for his first race…after a less than perfect start he got in to a mighty good and steady 4 come 3rd place at which time I though enough was enough and used my evil darkside powers as I walk away view…to squeeze his balls so tight he jump high out of the seat of his space chariot and fell as he was about to pass Han’s Solo [so CP30 human cybog relations, conversant in over 2 million forms of communication, keeps telling us and repeated to us and anyone else who will listen!] turns out young Luke Skywalker has grown strong with the force to take out a well deserved 1st place…

Superbikes race 1
[During the warm up lap there was a rather tragic accident between father and son that has been mentioned in another thread which delayed the first race to after lunch…hope everyone concerned heals well!!]

The warm up lap of the restarted race goes well! Infact I think I did quite well!
Griding up I see chewie up infront of me,aswell as Young Luke Skywalker,Han’s Solo etc…I try to focus my mind towards launching my space chariot…as the flag drops I ease out the clutch…and as per usual it grabs at itself like a lonely stormtrooper in the shower!
Followed by the usual wheelie through first,second and third gears as the revs increase.
***ooarrrrrrrhhhh shhhhhhhhhit*** ***ooarrrrrrrrrhhhh shhhhhhhhhhhhit***
Loose X amount of places [I’ve given up counting now…but plenty anyway]
And start on the battle of regaining them fighting myway back to 13th where I started…had a good dice with gorden pullen during the race…seems the old jedi master is becoming aggressive with his age…very very aggressive!! Maybe a sign he may fall to the dark side.

Between races Chewie comes up and asks me if I’m going to take my space chariot out of 2nd gear or not? Cheekily!!…he walks away lucky he can still walk…I was in the right mind to give him a dam good lightsabring right there and then!!!

Superbikes race 2

Once again I did bloody well in the warm up lap…griding up trying not to think about the start to much…thought I might have a go at just starting the bike off at low rev’s like a slightly fast road start…got the bike moving okay….still had a lot of bikes rip past me and the dam thing still pulled fricken wheelies hard throught the gears…then left with trying to get past all the slower traffic that got me from the start again…which makes me a irritated Mr Darth Vadar at the time…I timed some good passes during this race and got through the slower traffic pretty quick and settled in winding in padwan Phill [phill Duxbury] on his gsx-r1000k6 monster [man that thing can boogie on a straight!!! Fuck me with a blaster!!!] getting past him numerous times then he’ld open a can of whoop arse in a straight line…he just held me off on the sweeper for the flag so I got a 10th.

[cowpoos]

Superbikes race 3

I tell ya…I am good at warm up laps!!
Griding up for this race I’m back to my beyond caring about starts mood…flag drops…yeah…loose some places…lah lah lah lah…I knew it was the last race so I didn’t have to nurture my rear tyre non anymore…so left it rip out of the right handers again…I got my way somehow up to 7th and then the rear end started complaining a bit…so I just settled there not far behind Padwan Phill again…not able to challenge for another place at his current pace…saw chewie on the side of higgans on my way past toward the end of the race...he was sitting up with his bike…cool I think…he owes me a keg…I bet him in that race! Lifes good after all!! That’ll be a keg of TUI thanks :)

After some swaning around chatting to some ewoks,random stormtroopers,etc
And started packing up…I gave Princess Leah a good lecture on being a good girl over the weekend as she was heading down to wellington with Han’s Solo in the milleinium fool-can to play with his lightsabre and balasther…
headed off home not long after that...hmm...bout all I got to say about that!

On form rider of the weekend for me was young Luke Skywalker [two smoker] kicking arse bro!!! and Chewie [trashy]was a close 2nd!! Well done ya big hair lug!!

Big thanks to Alltrax leasing and finance,motostyle ltd [need some bling bits or race parts get ahold of jas!!] PTRacing,KZ carpentry /30-11 systems,Rachelle Jones awesome coffee company/pit bitch service

Cheers for all those that helped out, CP30 human cybog relation,conversant in over 2 million forms of comunication,r2d2,Princess Leah,yoda, Nick Coles mom for the coffee and anyone else I may have missed cheers!!

[cowpoos]

THE END



Princess Leah and Luke Skywalker….I am your farther ;)

[Cibby]

Fucken hell, i cant believe i just read all of that, very entertainin poo's,

[sAsLEX]

Fucken hell, i cant believe i just read all of that, very entertainin poo's,

Seconded, I thought what an ingenious first post but my the force left me by the third.....

[DEATH_INC.]

Fucken hell, i cant believe i just read all of that, very entertainin poo's,
I can't believe he wrote all that......

[chanceyy]

:lol: still laffing poos .. great write up, bet ya fingers are tired now ;) great seeing ya out there buddy .. catch ya next time :yes:

[Riff Raff]

A stormtrooper?????




Is this your way of saying I look like Jimmy's bike?

[sisterecho]

Well you certainly were using the Vader breathing technique, i.e. SNORING, on Friday night!!! I could even hear you through the wall. Try telling me AGAIN that you don't snore! :mellow:

[skelstar]

Good first post poos, f**ken hard reading the rest though :yes:

[sisterecho]

Good first post poos, f**ken hard reading the rest though :yes:

You just have to imagine him saying it in that unique Cowpoos way... then it flows quite nicely. :)

[flame]

Poos! I always knew there was a geek hidden underneath your tough outer shell!

Good racing out there matie :yes:

[slowpoke]

Onya Poos! Feeling sorry for myself sitting in Sydney Airport after catching the red eye from Darwin this put a smile on my face, good fun.

[Toast]

hahaha...gotta be the best race report ever.

Must be frustrating not being able to get off the line. Blame the pies?

Good effort on raped tyres :niceone:

See ya next time.

[Nicksta]

ROFL......
that was a long read... even harder reading it out loud to my mum!

awesome report Poos.... take care and see you soon!

[Flyno]

by far the best ever report ive ever ever read!
just pure art!
wots the next theme?

[limbimtimwim]

I can't believe he wrote all that......He didn't. He had a geek writer.

[cowpoos]

A stormtrooper?????




Is this your way of saying I look like Jimmy's bike?


you can be princess leah next time!!! okay???

[HDTboy]

When are Leah and Luke getting it on?
Glad I'm not an Ewok

[Two Smoker]

When are Leah and Luke getting it on?
Glad I'm not an Ewok

Leah is my sister you retard... "Eeets nice you let the retard eat inside..."

LMFAO... Best race report ever!!! Cant wait to read and be apart of the next installment!!!

[Bronza]

[ at this point I will add Poo’s Team Racing was sooo prepared for this round with space chariot prep,that the space chariots were on the trailer and ready to go as soon as they made it home after round 2…]
.

In other words they were to lazy to get the bikes of the trailer.

Great race report Cowpoos. Loved reading it.

[Bronza]

Princess Leah ….I am your farther ;)


That's just so wrong .... She's older than you!!!!

[t3mp0r4ry nzr]

good racing bloke:yes:

[roadracingoldfart]

Lets work together to stop him using a "Police Acadamy " theme for the future . I remember that movie went on for about 18 episodes :gob:

[janno]

by far the best ever report ive ever ever read!
just pure art!
wots the next theme?

Harry Potter - who gets to be Voldemort . . .?

Great write up Poos. You're a man of many talents. Or something.

[sisterecho]

That's just so wrong .... She's older than you!!!!

Don't have to tell the WHOLE world Bron!!!!!

[kickingzebra]

you're gay and I beateded you ahahaha. dirkadirka, mohommed jihad, ching wong chang. Au bro.

Nice report bruvva.
Is funny, ya?!

[sisterecho]

you're gay and I beateded you ahahaha. dirkadirka, mohommed jihad, ching wong chang. Au bro.

Nice report bruvva.
Is funny, ya?!

Jonno, go ta bed ya wally!!!

Jay.

P.S. another full warp speed scoobieroo drive home I take it...;)
P.P.S - you didn't beat him - you didn't finish a race all day, and qual doesn't count!!!

[kickingzebra]

Jonno, go ta bed ya wally!!!

Jay.

P.S. another full warp speed scoobieroo drive home I take it...;)
P.P.S - you didn't beat him - you didn't finish a race all day, and qual doesn't count!!!

Now why would qualifying not count??? LOL, I can think of one good reason!