Krayy
28th September 2004, 08:35
Redneck Rant start here (not really, they're New Yorkers but doing the Redneck accent is more fun, "Ain't it Jethro???")...
Now, I like a good "build it from scratch" reality series. The wife is forced to sit through Junkyard Wars, Scrapheap Challenge, Thunder Races and now American Chopper. Some of the latest episodes have been a little shaky, but the one I watched last night (taped from Sat night on Discovery) was beyond ridiculous.
Number 3 son Mikey (now referred to as Chuckle Head 3 or CH3) wants to get into the family business. Problem is he can't ride a bike, has no mechanical knowledge and can't weld. Just the person to hire for a fabrication shop. So CH2 (Paulie Jr) is meant to be helping him build his new "Blues" bike which has a lot of Blues music references painted on it (except for Tom Waits who is more like the Yank version of Nick Cave). So the show intersperses a lot of bitching between the two brothers, with CH1 (Paulie Snr) occaisionally threatening to "put my boot up your ass", or "whack ya with this tire iron, yeee-hup". Now comes the good part.....
CH3 is off to do his "this here motor-bi-sickle" test. Strangley it appears that rider training schools can issue licenses. So CH3 is doing a voice over about these cheesy videos they have to watch while trying to stop the old "pick and lick" temptation kicking in, then they get on to the practical part of the test. Looked just like the basic handling skills, except they're on 360cc bikes in the style of a GN and he's riding round the track saying (loudly) "Messed that up". "Ooops". "Damn". For gods sake, if the instructors are watching, don't alert them to any cock-ups. Let them make up their own mind!
So eventually we find out that CH3 doesn't make the grade and has brought shame upon the family by not being a motorhead, so it's back to Chuckleville for Mikey, or so we thought.
The rest of the program was made of a CH's 1, 2 & 3 whaling on each other about not getting the bike done and the final assembly. There was a majorly funny point where CH2 spent 5 minutes looking at the bottom of the tank before he had to admit he hadn't put a petcock in it, but I digress.
Now the kicker. After the bike is finished, CH2 decides he wants to take it for a ride. Now if the kiddies out there are thinking about riding unlicensed on an unregistered, unwarranted bike, here's a tip. DON'T VIDEO IT on a worldwide distrbuted reality show! It makes Jrandom seem positively saint-like
:devil2:
And if one of their bikes cost like $50k US, would you let an unlicensed Chuklehead ride one as his first bike?
Now, I like a good "build it from scratch" reality series. The wife is forced to sit through Junkyard Wars, Scrapheap Challenge, Thunder Races and now American Chopper. Some of the latest episodes have been a little shaky, but the one I watched last night (taped from Sat night on Discovery) was beyond ridiculous.
Number 3 son Mikey (now referred to as Chuckle Head 3 or CH3) wants to get into the family business. Problem is he can't ride a bike, has no mechanical knowledge and can't weld. Just the person to hire for a fabrication shop. So CH2 (Paulie Jr) is meant to be helping him build his new "Blues" bike which has a lot of Blues music references painted on it (except for Tom Waits who is more like the Yank version of Nick Cave). So the show intersperses a lot of bitching between the two brothers, with CH1 (Paulie Snr) occaisionally threatening to "put my boot up your ass", or "whack ya with this tire iron, yeee-hup". Now comes the good part.....
CH3 is off to do his "this here motor-bi-sickle" test. Strangley it appears that rider training schools can issue licenses. So CH3 is doing a voice over about these cheesy videos they have to watch while trying to stop the old "pick and lick" temptation kicking in, then they get on to the practical part of the test. Looked just like the basic handling skills, except they're on 360cc bikes in the style of a GN and he's riding round the track saying (loudly) "Messed that up". "Ooops". "Damn". For gods sake, if the instructors are watching, don't alert them to any cock-ups. Let them make up their own mind!
So eventually we find out that CH3 doesn't make the grade and has brought shame upon the family by not being a motorhead, so it's back to Chuckleville for Mikey, or so we thought.
The rest of the program was made of a CH's 1, 2 & 3 whaling on each other about not getting the bike done and the final assembly. There was a majorly funny point where CH2 spent 5 minutes looking at the bottom of the tank before he had to admit he hadn't put a petcock in it, but I digress.
Now the kicker. After the bike is finished, CH2 decides he wants to take it for a ride. Now if the kiddies out there are thinking about riding unlicensed on an unregistered, unwarranted bike, here's a tip. DON'T VIDEO IT on a worldwide distrbuted reality show! It makes Jrandom seem positively saint-like
:devil2:
And if one of their bikes cost like $50k US, would you let an unlicensed Chuklehead ride one as his first bike?