Dating

[Kittyhawk]

Things have changed....dating isn't what it used to be.

Friends with benifits, casual flings, where has romance gone?
Is the aim to get laid on every date?

What's happend in society?

[Sparky Bills]

People dont do much "dating" anymore.
I dont think ive been on a proper date in my life!:innocent: (all 23 years of it!)

Funny old world aint it.:yes:

[Mekk]

Romance and relationships only work with respect.

It is of my opinion that a lot of guys these days seem to have lost respect for themselves and for their part in society. There are a lot of "metro-sexual" pussies out there. There is a distinct lack of manliness.

There are loads of other reasons too though. The reversal or elimination of roles in the household, the availability of services to care for you, this PC bs that everyone loves so much, the internet etc etc. You can hire manliness if you want.

You could point the finger at any number of things, but I think underlying it all is a lack of respect.

[Boob Johnson]

Romance and relationships only work with respect.

It is of my opinion that a lot of guys these days seem to have lost respect for themselves and for their part in society. There are a lot of "metro-sexual" pussies out there. There is a distinct lack of manliness.

There are loads of other reasons too though. The reversal or elimination of roles in the household, the availability of services to care for you, this PC bs that everyone loves so much, the internet etc etc. You can hire manliness if you want.

You could point the finger at any number of things, but I think underlying it all is a lack of respect in society.Too true :niceone:

But in saying that there is still old fashioned guys out there.







Your looking at one :msn-wink:

[Mekk]

Too true :niceone:

But in saying that there is still old fashioned guys out there.


Your looking at one :msn-wink:

Are you asking me out? :lol:

[Boob Johnson]

Are you asking me out? :lol:rofl im sorry I bat for the OTHER team :laugh:

[Sparky Bills]

Romance and relationships only work with respect.

It is of my opinion that a lot of guys these days seem to have lost respect for themselves and for their part in society. There are a lot of "metro-sexual" pussies out there. There is a distinct lack of manliness.

There are loads of other reasons too though. The reversal or elimination of roles in the household, the availability of services to care for you, this PC bs that everyone loves so much, the internet etc etc. You can hire manliness if you want.

You could point the finger at any number of things, but I think underlying it all is a lack of respect in society.

Thats deep man.
Nearly brought a tear to the eye.




I said Nearly! :shutup:

[Mekk]

Thats deep man.
Nearly brought a tear to the eye.




I said Nearly! :shutup:

Would you like a turtlene...err, tissue?:devil2:

[jrandom]

Pfft. I date. You're just not seeing the right guys, Kittyhawk.

(No, that wasn't an offer :p)

[BMW]

Things have changed....dating isn't what it used to be.

Friends with benifits, casual flings, where has romance gone?
Is the aim to get laid on every date?

What's happend in society?

yes it is a shame that romance is dead

and where do you go for the old normal date to find a single person now?? bars are out!

[jrandom]

and where do you go for the old normal date to find a single person now??

Try trawling KB...

[chanceyy]

everyone would like to find that elusive other half, most of the problem is also apart from respect is that its too easy to go from one relationship to another if things are not working its onwards & upwards

Relationships take work on both sides but when one is doing all the giving & the other is doing all the taking then its not a relationship at all. There is no communication or compromise .. everyone has become very self centred as long as they get their way they are happy if they don't they walk ... sad really

Dating was always that first refreshing bit of getting to know each other, checking each other out .. seeing if you enjoyed the company

Now its all about being a notch on someones bedpost & both men & woman guilty of this ...

Have they been so badly hurt by a previous relationship that they will not allow themselves to be vulnerable again so its easier to have a freind who can scratch that itch rather than seek something more meaningful & deep .. until you met someone who gets your curiosity going & then everything else pales in comparison, & you start wanting to develop something more lasting & real .....

yes I know some of you reading the above will know exactly wot i mean ...

[SlashWylde]

Good question Kittyhawk. I agree that a lot of it comes down to lack respect for ones self and others. Women have always been seen by some types of men as nothing more than objects to be conquered, but it seems these days that women also objectify men and assume that it's all about sex.

One could argue that societies' views on the place of sex in a relationship have changed and that popular magazines and TV shows such as 'Sex in the City' have promoted casual sex as a necessary and desirable part of a young persons social life. More than ever before, sex has become a cheap and easy commodity, 'Mc Sex' if you will. With this mind set, one ends up short changing ones self.

When I go out with a woman I'm not particularly concerned about if and when we'll sleep together. If it's going to happen, then it'll happen in its own good time, and then it'll be between two people who care about each other, possibly even love each other.

I'm more interested in what she's like as a person and whether she stimulates my brain and melts my heart. Do we have fun together? Is she a sweet kind hearted person? Does she make me feel good just being around her? Do we the same interests?

These are some of the things I look for in a person.

Besides anything else, dating is fun! It's fun to meet interesting new people, have casual relaxed dates, and see if a spark happens between the two of you.

[Albino]

Everyone is so self centred and empowered in todays world. Everyone has their list of goals and things that they want in a partner. Our mums told us we deserve the best and that we're wonderful. So when we look at for a partner that doesn't match the list we move on. Even if it's only a couple of items on the "list". Compromise isn't an option when your self-empowered.

This is the perception of a lot of single blokes I know. They go on a date and feel judged rather than both parties relaxing and putting in the effort. So they lose respect, for themselves and for the women doing the judging. And for the next women who they go on a date with, as no doubt she will be the same (and so on).

So go into dating with an open mind. If you make a list, do it of core values that you want the person to have, not job, money, connections, height, pitch of voice, dress sense etc etc. If you find some one doing the same (there are lots around) then you're half way towards a sucessful relationship.

Fuck me i need a beer.

[Coyote]

I'm old fashioned. I don't put out until the 3rd date

[Swoop]

I blame those oldies who were around in the 60's. Bloody hippies and their free-sex. NOW look where the world is!


Them and rap/hip-op muzak.
*exits muttering*

[KATWYN]

If it's going to happen, then it'll happen in its own good time, and then it'll be between two people who care about each other, possibly even love each other

.

I always thought its between people who are commited to each other and love each other
not just who care about eachother.

....I think i'm getting old

[Joni]

At the risk of being flamed.... I have noticed that part of the problem is the "Kiwi bloke" syndrome... they are busy being a mans man and prooving to the world that that is what they are... that all else is lost. Its sad because kiwi guys do have alot to offer, but feel they will be "soft cocks" if they do offer it.

edit: Oh and I personally find that boring...

[Krusti]

but feel they will be "soft cocks" if they do offer it.

Stop picking on me. It's not my fault that I'm getting older. :zzzz:

[Albino]

If women want sensitive guys why is it the rugby players have the hot girlfriends and the computer geeks get rejections?

[Hitcher]

I don't want to go out
I won't stay in
Get things done

I catch a paper boy
But things don't really change
I'm standing in the wind
But I never wave bye-bye

But I try, I try

There's no sign of life
It's just the power to charm
I'm lying in the rain
But I never wave bye-bye

But I try, I try

Never gonna fall for
Modern love - walks beside me
Modern love - walks on by
Modern love - gets me to the church on time
Church on time - terrifies me
Church on time - makes me party
Church on time - puts my trust in god and man
God and man - no confessions
God and man - no religion
God and man - don't believe in modern love

[Chickadee]

Personally I had to go overseas to find Mr Right or Mr McJim as you know him. Didn't got to Britain trawling for a man, just met the right one during my OE. I went intially to meet up with my NZ ex - cock sucker that I now realise he was. Guess you have to meet a few duds before you meet the right one.

Got engaged in a week of meeting and married in less than 4 months - just knew we were right together (soul mates - yeah get ya buckets out:sick:)

7 years later still happily married with 2 sprogs, what more could you ask for. This was from someone that didn't think 'happy marriages' existed, and didn't think I'd be a Mum either!

Don't give up Kitty, import a sensitive bloke who cares. There may be some in NZ, but they're probably fairies.

[007XX]

Personally, I have only been on the "kiwi" dating scene ofr about a year, 6 years ago, and honnestly, it is the most confusing environment I have EVER seen...:shit:

Guys either too shy or too proud to make the first step, girls too prissy or too shy to show real interest...the rules are blurred and so bloody complicated, nothing seems to fit anymore.
There are no longer any clearly delineated man / woman roles...

If a girl has got high standards for her choice of a mate, she's high maintenance.
If a guy wears aftershave and a pink shirt, he's either gay or is a puff...

Bring back the Cowboys I say...Real men, with a strong spine and a moral attitude to boot.

*riding ot in the Sunset with hers...*:love:

[Busy]

How come all the blame is on us males?

I was a member of NZD for a while and the lessons you learn on that place are shocking, like the average woman has 2.5 'toys', f##k buddies are the in thing for females and to dump the guy at the first sign of romance or when feelings are shown.
Sure guys are just after a bit of horizontal bungee but woman are just as bad if not worse.

I could right a book about all the failed romantic inputs that went bad in my 30 odd years. Romance is dead because no woman wants it, so now if a woman asks to open the door for her, the only response to give is "are your arms painted on!" I'm sure someone is going to say "we want it" or "i want it" but wonder if you are the same sort that say "I'm sick of the assholes and want a nice guy" but when you get a nice guy you shit all over him and go find yourself another asshole.

It's like those joke emails that go around:
If a guy buys you flowers - he wants to get laid or has been unfaithful
If a guy buys you a gift - he wants to get laid
If a guy buys you an expensive gift - he wants a three some
If a guy doesn't buy a gift - he just wants to get laid
If a guy asks you out - he just wants to get laid ...

Or that lil comic strip:
standing there naked the lil boy says "I've got one of these"
The lil girl lifts up her dress and says "well I got one of these so can get as many of those as I want!"

[Trudes]

You mean like this?

[KATWYN]

the lessons you learn on that place are shocking, like the average woman has 2.5 'toys', f##k buddies are the in thing for females and to dump the guy at the first sign of romance or when feelings are shown.




I'd love to know what research sample was used for them to arrive at those bold statistics :gob:...A handful of giggly school girls completing a questionaire?

So their answers end up representing the rest of the population? - thats gotta be rubbish

[Chickadee]

I guess the wrong guys meet the right girls, and the right boys meet the wrong girls then in NZ! I'm sure there are some lovely fella's in NZ.

There are hopeless romantics on both sides of the sexes. You may have to sift through a few duds but they're out there.

Important to remember if you meet someone and it's kinda working but you're not completely happy - you are both probably wasting time, there is someone out there for us all. You need to be a complete person also before you get a serious relationship (comfortable in your own skin), the other person doesn't complete you - they are your companion to love and support & vice versa.

[Busy]

I'd love to know what research sample was used for them to arrive at those bold statistics :gob:...A handful of giggly school girls completing a questionaire?

So their answers end up representing the rest of the population? - thats gotta be rubbishgiggly school girls range between 18-40+
no questionaire, just go read the threads on any dating site, 1% are after happy ever after, the rest seem to just want to get laid.

Any single ladies out there: I like walks on the beach, waterfalls, cuddles on the couch ... after I finish playing with my cars (real cars - more than 4clys) and bikes ;)

[KATWYN]

giggly school girls range between 18-40+
no questionaire, just go read the threads on any dating site, 1% are after happy ever after, the rest seem to just want to get laid.

Any single ladies out there: I like walks on the beach, waterfalls, cuddles on the couch ... after I finish playing with my cars (real cars - more than 4clys) and bikes ;)


:laugh: about the 18-40+

Your observations are probably only seeing a particular "type" of woman (i.e., your own description of them tells all)

What about the rest of them that don't care for the dating sites? What would their values be I wonder....

(Me - well i'm happily married for 11 years to my macho man so i've been fortunate, but I had to wait what seemed like a long time for him)

[Goblin]

A sure sign that things wont work out well with a man is when you ask if he is married and he lies and says he's seperated! Should run for the hills at that point. Then he buys you the world and tells you he loves you and you're worth it and he has kicked his wife out for you....BUT....you have to stop smoking, change your views on everything and think more like him otherwise you can just fuck off and never contact him again. Oh and then he wants everything he bought for you back again.:mellow:

[ManDownUnder]

Aaaa yes. NZ where men are men but only if the State allows them to be, and they have permission from their significant other.

A problem I see is that men in NZ do not know how to be themselves. Joni alluded to the struggle guys have being what society expects of them (the manly man), what the State expects of them (androgeny please), what the feminist norms dictate (the female way is the right way - let's take a look at communication style shall we), and what those men actually want to be - i.e. the person they really are.

All of the above require men to behave in a different manner. So... on a date does a guy open a door for a woman or not? Does he pay the bill? Does he buy her drinks? Does he make the first move? Should he even have the audacity to ask a woman out. I mean for the last 500+ years it's been a man's world. Now it's time for the women to have their world right?

Errrr no.

Men need to be able to stand up and be themselves. Be men, be strong, fight for the honour of themselves and their families. Stand up in the defence of others etc.

The problem is we're
1) Not allowed to do those things for fear of pro/persecution
2) Not able to do those things for the lack of adequate role models

Boys are raised in a predominantly female world
0 - 4 is Home with mum or at daycare
5 to 13 Primary and Intermediate school
14+ the formative years are over.

When boys get boistrous they get told off for it by women - who (with the greatest of respect) understand the effects of testosterone about as much as I can relate to Period Pain and PMS.

What chance have the boys got, and now - we're getting the confusion Kitty mentioned.

Dating? What are the rules? From the guys sides I can honestly answer "fucked if I know"!. Thanks to my father (a good man) and an uncle (another significantly good male influence) I personally have my own rules to live by.

I have to.

[avgas]

Bring back the Cowboys I say...Real men, with a strong spine and a moral attitude to boot.
They are still there, just these days they wear pink shirts and get acting roles.

[avgas]

What im hearing is that women want to be held with on hand and slapped with another.
Men are simple, sit down, shut the f up, and hang on for the ride.

[Drew]

At the risk of being flamed.... I have noticed that part of the problem is the "Kiwi bloke" syndrome... they are busy being a mans man and prooving to the world that that is what they are... that all else is lost. Its sad because kiwi guys do have alot to offer, but feel they will be "soft cocks" if they do offer it.

edit: Oh and I personally find that boring...

Not the way I see it here, I am percieved as the typical Kiwi bloke by most, but tell the world I love my lady, and am not ashamed to show affection, and do things for her.

The dating scene in New Zealand does not exist, and hinders many people from other lands in finding a mate.

Here, we do it different like. Instead of arranging dates, we usually start a romantic relationship from an existing friendship, or with someone we already know to some degree. It has a couple of pit falls, first, we miss out on the dating, (Which can be a lot of fun) and go straight to full on couple status, and that creates the second down side, in that when it doesn't work out, one party is usually very hurt by it.

Over seas, it is totally acceptable to date more than one person, right up untill one of those dates is consumated physically, at which point it's commonly reffered to as going steady. they do it more progressively, we just leap in.

Having said that, the women I've spoken to about this think it would be perfectly OK for a guy to come over in a cafe, (or some other random local), and introduce himself. If they hit it off, phone numbers would be swapped and so on, and so forth.



If ya want the system changed girls, go out there and do it, it aint a law.

[terbang]

At the risk of being flamed.... I have noticed that part of the problem is the "Kiwi bloke" syndrome... they are busy being a mans man and prooving to the world that that is what they are... that all else is lost. Its sad because kiwi guys do have alot to offer, but feel they will be "soft cocks" if they do offer it.

edit: Oh and I personally find that boring...


Yeah, true in many respects. But it goes both ways. I found, and still observe (I crew with many young Kiwi girls), that many kiwi women struggle to step up to the plate. They seem too self absorbed and perhaps a bit too material with their views and can appear above us mere males expecting us to chase them. The two most influencial women (apart from mother) in my life were an American and a Pom. I married the Pom. Both of these foriegn girls came into my life with a view of an 'even stake' and didn't view sex as a tool or a favour to gain my attention and dated me as much as I dated them. They also didn't get as pissed as the kiwi girls did. Though I guess I am not really a rugby racing and beer sort of guy, which also didn't apeal to either of the loves of my life.

[Trudes]

Geeze, what do ya have to do to get a root around here?!!;)

[Joni]

Yeah, true in many respects. But it goes both ways. I found, and still observe (I crew with many young Kiwi girls), that many kiwi women struggle to step up to the plate. They seem too self absorbed and perhaps a bit too material with their views and can appear above us mere males expecting us to chase them. The two most influencial women (apart from mother) in my life were an American and a Pom. I married the Pom. Both of these foriegn girls came into my life with a view of an 'even stake' and didn't view sex as a tool or a favour to gain my attention. They also didn't get as pissed as the kiwi girls did.Well said... sadly I have heard the same thing from many kiwi men.

I suppose Im glad to fall into the "foreign girl" category then... because I do believe in "even/equal stakes"

[jrandom]

A sure sign that things wont work out well with a man is when you ask if he is married and he lies and says he's seperated! Should run for the hills at that point. Then he buys you the world and tells you he loves you and you're worth it and he has kicked his wife out for you....BUT....you have to stop smoking, change your views on everything and think more like him otherwise you can just fuck off and never contact him again. Oh and then he wants everything he bought for you back again.:mellow:

:lol:

There's usually two sides to that story, sister...

[Joni]

I am percieved as the typical Kiwi bloke by most, but tell the world I love my lady, and am not ashamed to show affection, and do things for her.Drew I dont think any of the "Mair" brothers can be considered typical kiwi men... the ones I have met are all pretty special... especially that trashy one! :yes:

[Drew]

Drew I dont think any of the "Mair" brothers can be considered typical kiwi men... the ones I have met are all pretty special... especially that trashy one! :yes:

Not sure how to take that...

I'm not retarded, I'm a very special boy???

[Joni]

I'm not retarded, I'm a very special boy???:lol: you know what I mean.... special as in damn good! :yes:

[Goblin]

:lol:

There's usually two sides to that story, sister...

How silly of me. I knew honesty was too much to ask for.

[Sanx]

Drew I dont think any of the "Mair" brothers can be considered typical kiwi men... the ones I have met are all pretty special... especially that trashy one! :yes:

The two Mair brothers that post on KB do form part of the very small club of people who can form sentences correctly, which makes both of them OK in my book. I would say they're 'stalwarts', but someone might think I'm taking the piss.

[SlashWylde]

I always thought its between people who are commited to each other and love each other
not just who care about eachother.

....I think i'm getting old

Ok, point of distiction then: Lovemaking happens between two people who love each other.

What I'm saying is that I've had good sex with someone I liked and cared about early on in a relationship. however I value lovemaking in the context of a loving committed relationship more.

[Chickadee]

Nice to know there's some good values out there still

[Sparky Bills]

Its not just the blokes fault. The fem's attitudes are not exactly confidence inspireing!
Its slowly getting better, but hey... people have to get up with the times.

[Kittyhawk]

Ok. Heres whats happend in since my breakup

Decided to get back into the dating scene.

Met a guy online, talked for an hr on the ph. We seemed to click, he was 25 and a chef. Said he was interested in meeting me. I told him I was a biker, then his reply was "I dont like bikes but I love biker chicks" Got infatuated and texted every day...I told him I wasnt interested, and he kept ringing and texting. In the end I ignored everything he sent me.

Date #2 Met a guy, yes another chef and we went to a pub to meet. This guy didnt take self pride seriously. Didnt dress up, wore track pants and sneakers, old jersey, didnt shave, and just had no self pride.

Yes I was in my biker gear but I did put some makeup on! The conversation was over in 10 mins, he didnt have hobbies, opinions, and two older men came over to our table and started talking to me about bikes as they were bikers. He sat there silent..and didnt contribute to the conversation as he wasn't a biker.

A guy messaged me online, asking for nothing but a casual shag.

I mean WTF is the point?

My relationship went through some tough times and I was with my ex for 4 years. I didnt walk out and turn my back on him, I can honestly say I worked at my relationship, but in the end it was a mutual decision.

No hurry to settle down, or do the casual thing either. I have respect for myself.

[BarBender]

Things have changed....dating isn't what it used to be.

Friends with benefits, casual flings, where has romance gone?
Is the aim to get laid on every date?

What's happend in society?

A close friend, who separated recently, came around for dinner and kindly gave my wife and I some insight into his social life. In short he had managed to get around. I'm not sure how this compares with other males in their mid 30s...but I assumed that socially - things were riotously good for him.

He seemed to think that had been a significant amount of change in the 10 years since when he was last single. The observations he made were that:
1. There were more 'available' women in the dating scene...possibly outnumbering men 2:1
2. Available women were either single women in their late 20s to early 30's or single women with children...(significant in number)
3. Available women were as aggressive as the men in their 'lets get down approach'.

I asked him how did he know and how was he able to be so "lucky". ...and he said something to me that stuck with me...
He said "Because I'm single and I notice and am aware of these things now."

The inference being that because I was married/occupied I wouldnt know what to look for or notice it if it hit me acorss the back of the head. The other important point being that with the increase in the number of separations and divorce - the dating scene isnt populated like it used to be with player/singleaint got a clue/virgin types but rather singletoolong/divorcee/played types.

[Coyote]

giggly school girls range between 18-40+
no questionaire, just go read the threads on any dating site, 1% are after happy ever after, the rest seem to just want to get laid.

I bet a lot of them are putting themselves up as being easy to actually attract someone considering many guys would turn off at the word 'commitment' in those profiles. Think they hope the guy who is only looking for fun might actually end up in them hitting it off.

Not saying there wouldn't be plenty of women planning to tap and gap.

[marty]

trawling through the ads on NZD is always good for a laugh. i'd say the majority of girls on there are on the 2nd or 3rd relationship, and are pretty set in what they want (and don't want). a few guys on there try to say they like walks on the beach and sunset picnics, but the reality is that they just want to get their end away - how much luck some of the retards have though is up for discussion. a female friend of mine had a profile which clearly said NO sexual meetings, however she regularly had 30 mails a day asking for it!

imho there's 2 sides to it.

1: females want a supportive loving man who keeps them in $$$ and says i love you every day.

2: guys want a fuck.

[Winston001]

I've glanced at dating site forums (boards) and have been surprised at how shallow the discussions are. If the level of talk is indicative of some of the people there, then I can understand the difficulty of dating interesting genuine people.

Yet in my pollyanna way, I think most people are in fact decent and just want someone who will respect and value them. The trick is to find that person and really, the dating sites seem to be as good a way as any. Better than hanging around a bar feeling uncomfortable on the slight chance of meeting a soul mate. And would you really want to find them in a bar.....?

[Chickadee]

Ok. Heres whats happend in since my breakup

Decided to get back into the dating scene.

Met a guy online, talked for an hr on the ph. We seemed to click, he was 25 and a chef. Said he was interested in meeting me. I told him I was a biker, then his reply was "I dont like bikes but I love biker chicks" Got infatuated and texted every day...I told him I wasnt interested, and he kept ringing and texting. In the end I ignored everything he sent me.

Date #2 Met a guy, yes another chef and we went to a pub to meet. This guy didnt take self pride seriously. Didnt dress up, wore track pants and sneakers, old jersey, didnt shave, and just had no self pride.

Yes I was in my biker gear but I did put some makeup on! The conversation was over in 10 mins, he didnt have hobbies, opinions, and two older men came over to our table and started talking to me about bikes as they were bikers. He sat there silent..and didnt contribute to the conversation as he wasn't a biker.

A guy messaged me online, asking for nothing but a casual shag.

I mean WTF is the point?

My relationship went through some tough times and I was with my ex for 4 years. I didnt walk out and turn my back on him, I can honestly say I worked at my relationship, but in the end it was a mutual decision.

No hurry to settle down, or do the casual thing either. I have respect for myself.

Don't give up Kitty, there are goodin's out there. A couple of duds on the road to looking for love. If you can find a guy with a mutual interest in bikes that sounds like the ideal for you. Are you looking for a 'type' in particular, or are you open minded (i.e. whatever the package - the person on the inside is the main thing!)

[Coyote]

edit: Oh and I personally find that boring...


Bring back the Cowboys I say...Real men, with a strong spine and a moral attitude to boot.
And that is what as guys have to deal with. The trick to being the perfect guy is to be able to mould into whatever the women wants you to be just before they want you to be that way, but not too soon before that you're not what she currently wants the previous minute. And you just have to know. Easy


I've only ever asked one girl out, and I'm currently having a great time with her. I call that a 100% success rate :p

[Kittyhawk]

Don't give up Kitty, there are goodin's out there. A couple of duds on the road to looking for love. If you can find a guy with a mutual interest in bikes that sounds like the ideal for you. Are you looking for a 'type' in particular, or are you open minded (i.e. whatever the package - the person on the inside is the main thing!)

I dont think Im cut out for this modern dating scene. It's just not who I am as a person. Love will find a way, when ya least expect it, and Im not looking for it right now lol.
Yea only one thing on my check list - he has to be a biker. Having a non biking partner in the past, I felt a little lost, as he couldnt share similar experiences.

Keeping an open mind. If it happens it happens.

[ManDownUnder]

imho there's 2 sides to it.

1: females want a supportive loving man who keeps them in $$$ and says i love you every day.

2: guys want a fuck.

LOL and therein lies the problem (generalising here but...)

Everyone wants to be loved.
Women want intimacy before sex.
Men see sex as a major part of intimacy.

We got us a good ol' catch 22....

[avgas]

Hey Kitty - you and i have talked earlier so you know my situation.
Don't give up hope aye. I had the same issue many moons ago. But i met V through a bottle of vodka.
If dating doesnt work for you, you can always try drinkn games aye ;)

[007XX]

And that is what as guys have to deal with. The trick to being the perfect guy is to be able to mould into whatever the women wants you to be just before they want you to be that way, but not too soon before that you're not what she currently wants the previous minute. And you just have to know. Easy


I've only ever asked one girl out, and I'm currently having a great time with her. I call that a 100% success rate :p

Good for you:yes:

I am the first to admit that we women are complex and not always sensible or fair creatures...(and I'll probably get stoned to death for this comment, but oh well! That's what I think...)

Personally, I have tried to be true to myself and avoid becoming a stereotype...many people have tried (unsuccessfully) to pin one on me...

I have met my perfect man...and he says that I am perfect to him...whether this fits the socioecological picture, who cares?
Bottom line is: if I was to describe my relationship with my husband, most people would barf...cos, yes, we are the antithesis of the typical "destroy or be destroyed" relationship...

[Mekk]

At the risk of being flamed.... I have noticed that part of the problem is the "Kiwi bloke" syndrome... they are busy being a mans man and prooving to the world that that is what they are... that all else is lost. Its sad because kiwi guys do have alot to offer, but feel they will be "soft cocks" if they do offer it.

edit: Oh and I personally find that boring...

I disagree partly here.

I have found that more and more girls prefer a challenge than a roll-over-and-accept type. Straight girls want men, not other girls.

That's part of the fun with the chase but I think it also has something partly to do with the primeval "roles" handed to us by nature. I mean that the man was the hunter/gatherer and would protect the cave while the woman nurtured the children and socialized.

Now before I get castrated by feminists, I'd like to say that this exists today in a metaphorical sense. I'm not talking about the man going out to bring home the bacon while the woman stays in the kitchen. I mean the more subtle character traits in someone. A woman is generally more attracted to someone who is confident and capable of holding their own. Someone who's capable of providing security and support. That doesn't have to be physically, it can be with regards to social status, money, looks etc.

SO. In all that bollocks I'd say that the sensitive new-age guy is putting a negative spin on this dating thing. You can be a soft-cock every now and again but if it's a major part of your personality, you're not gonna get the girls in my opinion. The romance novels (or what I've heard about them :motu:) portray an unrealistic snippet of what a girl wants.

The badass biker is still popular with the girls, the rockstar is still popular with the girls, the richman is still very popular. Why? Status, power, protection, security, manliness.

[inlinefour]

Things have changed....dating isn't what it used to be.

Friends with benifits, casual flings, where has romance gone?
Is the aim to get laid on every date?

What's happend in society?

Seeing that up until about 5 months ago I was in an (?un)stable relationship, I'm relatively newish to being single. I must admit that there seems to be a very vocal part of society that is just interested in getting a shag, no strings, no expectations and move on. At the end of the day that might be good and fine if your pissed, but considering I do not drink anymore, thats me farked. It definitely appears harder to find a woman who wants to get to know each other, build a friendship and take it from there. Fark, I really need to get that trike built or I might go nuts...:shit:

[marioc]

Yep its a god dam minefield out there,to be honest I have given up !
Perhaps its the kind of girls I seem to attract,it always ends in disaster.
So i bought a motorbike and she loves me :yes:
Sometimes it does feel strange being 33 and happily single when all my mates have kids,mortgage the whole deal.

[Joni]

Straight girls want men, not other girls.I suppose this is where the problem lies for me... men think if they are not what Kiwi society thinks a man should be, then they are girls.

Anyway, my comment was my opinion from my own experience as a foreigner coming to this country and seeing this "kiwi bloke" thing from the outside. I was disappointed by all the harden up, and stop being gay shit when someone tried to express something that may not be manly enough for the men.

Anyway, we are all different, no one solution fits all...

[inlinefour]

I always thought its between people who are commited to each other and love each other
not just who care about eachother.

....I think i'm getting old

There are plenty of us out there who agree (I hope), its just becoming much harder to troll through the others out there whom only think of themselves I suspect.

[Mekk]

I suppose this is where the problem lies for me... men think if they are not what Kiwi society thinks a man should be, then they are girls.

Therein lies another problem as well. Society is beginning to say to guys that they need to wear designer shirts, faded jeans and develop a caring and new-age perspective on things in order to fit in.

My point was that there is an increasing lack of manliness in this country. Perhaps not on the rugby field but more in the dating/social scene.

But yeah, I respect that that's your opinion and this is only mine.

[Joni]

I hear echos of Sarges thread a while back..."Whatt makes a man"... I suppose that answer is as individual as every person! :yes:

[Morcs]

Ive never had a problem with dating.

I date classy chicks - and the owness is on me to prove that I aint there just for a shag. After that its all sweet and the good times roll.

I almost miss dating...

But yeah I can see from a chicks point of view, especially in auckland where the majority of single younger guys are sleazy twats really...

[vifferman]

Things have changed....dating isn't what it used to be.

Friends with benifits, casual flings, where has romance gone?
Is the aim to get laid on every date?

What's happend in society?
Selfishness, I guess. Too much "What's in it for me?" rather than giving of oneself. And that applies to both sexes. I know ladies who after years of playing the field, going out with the 'exciting' guys suddenly realist that they're no longer young gurrllies any more, and the kind of bloke they thought they wanted isn't the kind of bloke that's best to settle down with.

Another thing is there are a lot of men and women who have been in one or more failed relationships without sorting out some fairly basic issues/shortcomings. They blame their partner for most of what went wrong, then move on to another relationship and get to the same point where there's a conflict or selfish act, and again it doesn't get resolved. So they're spending a lot of time looking for Mr/Miss Right, when the problem is with themself, so even if the perfect person comes along, the realtionship's still doomed.

I'm sure there are still people out there who are romantic (and the posts here bear that out) and who want a relationship rather than just a shag, but maybe they don't hang out in the places people go to find them?

[ManDownUnder]

I hear echos of Sarges thread a while back..."Whatt makes a man"... I suppose that answer is as individual as every person! :yes:

LOL yes yes yes! The ability to be that man (whoever that man is) is the chalenge. So many agendas, so many expectations etc. This may be what women went through a while back needing to comform to expectataions all around them.

It took me 35 years to get through/around/used to it. I still give a sh*t but a lot less than I did.

[KATWYN]

Selfishness, I guess. Too much "What's in it for me?" rather than giving of oneself. And that applies to both sexes.

Yea thats it!

[Sanx]

especially in auckland where the majority of single younger guys are sleazy twats really...

And so far you've managed to hide your true self, huh? :bleh:

[BMW]

Relationships take work on both sides but when one is doing all the giving & the other is doing all the taking then its not a relationship at all. There is no communication or compromise .. everyone has become very self centred as long as they get their way they are happy if they don't they walk ... sad really

...


yes very sad. Most people live in a throw away world. When something or someone does not serve its purpose we get rid of it.

I do not like it

[Morcs]

And so far you've managed to hide your true self, huh? :bleh:

Well im not an Aucklander :bleh:

[Trippin113]

:love: Fak that tarseal hurts when you hit it, getting back on the bike's the hard bit!:ride: .......and you wouldn't, not get back on the bike.....cos you remember what it was like before you hit the tarseal:yes:

[peasea]

:love: Fak that tarseal hurts when you hit it, getting back on the bike's the hard bit!:ride: .......and you wouldn't, not get back on the bike.....cos you remember what it was like before you hit the tarseal:yes:


You've been dating/hitting tar seal?
More domestic violence methinks.

"Ooh, I just had my assphalt"

[Grahameeboy]

:love: Fak that tarseal hurts when you hit it, getting back on the bike's the hard bit!:ride: .......and you wouldn't, not get back on the bike.....cos you remember what it was like before you hit the tarseal:yes:

Especially when you go through a red light:shutup:

[peasea]

LOL yes yes yes! The ability to be that man (whoever that man is) is the chalenge. So many agendas, so many expectations etc. This may be what women went through a while back needing to comform to expectataions all around them.

It took me 35 years to get through/around/used to it. I still give a sh*t but a lot less than I did.

Ultimately you're looking to shag each other, it's what we are here for, to continue the species. However, as such it's important to get right, which I didn't when I married. Things/people change and the mix that once worked no longer did. Long story, now divorced. Today I think I'm more reserved/guarded and it's taken my new lady literally years to 'get in' but shag we did. Now, if some medical condition prevented shagging I love her enough to never 'discard' her.

I've shagged on first (sometimes only) dates, but I've waited for months in some cases, some relationships lasted, some didn't. Before I married my ex, we parted company at least twice; others 'filled the gap' and everyone had a good time. While sex is an important part of a relationship it's not the be-all and end-all of the thing. it's close though.

Having said that; I think I am a romantic generally, not soppy and wet but I open doors, do things around the house that I know 'she' will do if I don't, I don't alllow her to scrub the dunny (not a lady's job), I do most of the cooking, it's all tied in. Different couples have different recipies but I think I get a lot out coz I put a lot in. (Well, a few inches anyway.)

'She' seems happy....

[White trash]

Here's what ya need to do.

Send a chick (that's just bought a bike off ya) a text saying she's alright and you'll take her out for dinner. Crash your bike playing silly buggers on the Thursday night before said weekend. Send her another text. She finishes a nightshift at 6am, jumps on her new bike, rides 700 kays after 12 hours work. Get Flame (luv ya babe:)) to feed her about a million bourbons, two months of commuting to and from Auckland becomes a bit silly, so ya move in together. Rest is history.

Who needs more romance than that?

[Waylander]

If chicks my age were interested in more than just some dropkick dumb fuck with a flash (read shitty cereal box rice burning wanna be performance) car and gets drunk as fuck every Thursday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday night.,
then I would actually be bothered trying to find 'Mrs Right' but until then if she wants me she can come find me.

[jrandom]

Who needs more romance than that?

All together now, awwwwwwww.

:D

The story's even cuter than it was when I, er, first heard it.

:innocent:

[Toaster]

Personally, I have only been on the "kiwi" dating scene ofr about a year, 6 years ago, and honnestly, it is the most confusing environment I have EVER seen...:shit:

Guys either too shy or too proud to make the first step, girls too prissy or too shy to show real interest...the rules are blurred and so bloody complicated, nothing seems to fit anymore.
There are no longer any clearly delineated man / woman roles...

If a girl has got high standards for her choice of a mate, she's high maintenance.
If a guy wears aftershave and a pink shirt, he's either gay or is a puff...

Bring back the Cowboys I say...Real men, with a strong spine and a moral attitude to boot.

*riding ot in the Sunset with hers...*:love:


Very well said.... as always :rockon:

[MyGSXF]

yes very sad. Most people live in a throw away world. When something or someone does not serve its purpose we get rid of it. I do not like it

Yep :bye: unfortunately, when "we" do not live up to "anothers" expectations.. "we" are the one then blamed for the relationship failing.. :slap:

But if they bothered to do their own learning & work on their own issues.. instead of just blaming the other for everything :mellow: then maybe the problems wouldn't occur in the first place! :no: or at least may be easily resolved!

It takes TWO.. to committ, to working on building a relationship.. together, & is a lifetime journey of learning & growing :hug:

[R6_kid]

I've spent the last 6-7mths seriously liking one girl, she moved to Dunedin to be with her boyfriend at the time that i started liking her... it took a matter of weeks for that to fall apart, but the rest of her life in Dunedin was all go so she stayed and has been enjoying it. She came back to Auckland for a quick holiday so I jumped at the chance to make an impression while i could.

Picked her up in my shitbox Corolla (cleaned it first)... spend the afternoon in Devonport looking at boutique shops, checked out the waterfront, went to the art galleries etc, then went across to North Head and had a look at the guns, and at the awesome view you get from up there. Took a stroll down into the old tunnels for a bit of trust building, then took a look at the time and decided it would be good to go order dinner, which was pizza from a little pizza shop. Got the pizza and headed up Mt Victoria in the car, got her to close her eyes on the way up... got to the top and parked up facing west... 'open your eyes' and she see's (thanks to my perfect time) the harbour lit up in gold as it was about 5mins before sunset.

She said i scored a 10/10 on the date, blah blah blah... long story short we're still friends. Despite getting along amazingly well things haven't really taken off. She's a straightline christian, and doesn't want to date a non-christian... her dad died in a motorcycle accident, and she hates motorbikes... after the long distance stuff up with her last boyfriend she's not going there again.

To be honest, i've enjoyed being her friend and getting to know her over the last 6mths a hell of a lot more than my 'summer fling' with a member of this site who was more than eager to jump into bed with me, and half of my mates as it would seem too... maybe i'm just old school but i think i now far prefer the romantic, and proper relationship building than the 'lets have sex and see if it works' tack that most people my age have developed - in saying that 007XX can vouch for the fact that i'm forthcoming when i need to be! It's just a matter of finding someone that pushes all my buttons the same way that my friend in Dunedin does and making it work.

Dating 'used to be' about getting to know the person, and to be perfectly honest when you remove the urge to 'pretend to make babies' from the equation you will find something a lot more meaningful from your relationships, and if things don't work out then you still have someone that knows you well and that can actually be your friend instead of having the stigma of a failed sexual relationship over your heads.

[jrandom]

The best date I ever went on was on 26 February 1999, with a girl I'd known since I was 13, but had lost touch with.

She found out where I worked and called me to ask if we could catch up sometime. We had dinner downtown, didn't want to stop talking, so went and sat up in the Sky Tower until it closed, and just talked and talked some more.

She dropped me at the bus stop at midnight and drove herself home. I remember that bus ride so vividly.

I married her on 18 February 2000.

Unfortunately, life tends to turn around and bite silly cunts like me in the arse. I'm alone again, now.

We still don't want to stop talking, though...

[Busy]

falling in love is such a wonderful thing, it's the restraining orders that are the bitch :D

When your young, its easy to get a partner, as you get order it becomes a lot harder, then when you reach the 30/40's you not only have to battle the bra burners but also the 'tooo' independent woman that doesn't need a man, just wants his company or whatever and would be better off with a cat or dog (and BOB).

There must be a woman out there who doesn't want kids, who smokes, who thinks fashion is levi jeans or maybe the latest overalls but can also slip into a dress (yeah like thats the in thing) and can be a girl ... yeah right

[Drew]

There must be a woman out there who doesn't want kids, who smokes, who thinks fashion is levi jeans or maybe the latest overalls but can also slip into a dress (yeah like thats the in thing) and can be a girl ... yeah right

ACTUALLY, THAT DAMN NEAR SUMS MY LADY FLAME UP PERFECTLY, LOOKS FUCKIN FANTASTIC TOO!!!

[Indiana_Jones]

Well I've been with AJ for 14 months now (I think).

Never looked back. :love:

There is romance out there :)

-Indy

[Curious_AJ]

Well I've been with AJ for 14 months now (I think).

Never looked back. :love:

There is romance out there :)

-Indy

aww :love:

I agree, there is romance out there.. but the key to finding it, is not to look for it... romance is what comes when you least expect it... and lust is sometimes what clouds your way and makes you do silly things, then end up with STD's

but yeah, never looked back since Indy and I got together either...

*Love you Indy*

[Disco Dan]

Romance? pah.... died about 2 years ago for me.

I was engaged once... she was perfect for me, everything I could ever ask for... in the relationship for a few years, I proposed... we spent months arranging our wedding, our parents both paid for all our relatives to be flown to NZ for the wedding... the day came... she never showed.

Ever since then i've been screwing anything with tits.

Far out... doesnt quite sound as bad written down... doesnt make it hurt any less though.

[NotaGoth]

Romance? pah.... died about 2 years ago for me.

I was engaged once... she was perfect for me, everything I could ever ask for... in the relationship for a few years, I proposed... we spent months arranging our wedding, our parents both paid for all our relatives to be flown to NZ for the wedding... the day came... she never showed.

Ever since then i've been screwing anything with tits.

Far out... doesnt quite sound as bad written down... doesnt make it hurt any less though.


If thats the mentality of her.. Aren't you GLAD that you didn't marry someone who is like that???? I know it doesn't help much me saying this.. But sure it hurts.. But there is plenty to be grateful for... Better fish in the sea darl

[Disco Dan]

If thats the mentality of her.. Aren't you GLAD that you didn't marry someone who is like that???? I know it doesn't help much me saying this.. But sure it hurts.. But there is plenty to be grateful for... Better fish in the sea darl

Now: yes. Fuck yes. So glad.
Then: I wanted to top myself.

My Dad wanted her cut up in his freezer...

[NotaGoth]

Now: yes. Fuck yes. So glad.
Then: I wanted to top myself.

Then and now feelings are all completely understandable.

[Disco Dan]

Then and now feelings are all completely understandable.

...and women wonder why so many men are scared of commitment. Its their own f*cking fault. They stuff up the heads of all the men... cause them to get depression and need fricking therapy... then they bitch about it. Typical.

I guess you lot all know now why im such a man whore. :innocent::shutup:

[Curious_AJ]

aww, you'll heal in time disco :yes:

[NUTBAR]

How come all the blame is on us males?

I was a member of NZD for a while and the lessons you learn on that place are shocking, like the average woman has 2.5 'toys', f##k buddies are the in thing for females and to dump the guy at the first sign of romance or when feelings are shown.
Sure guys are just after a bit of horizontal bungee but woman are just as bad if not worse.

I could right a book about all the failed romantic inputs that went bad in my 30 odd years. Romance is dead because no woman wants it, so now if a woman asks to open the door for her, the only response to give is "are your arms painted on!" I'm sure someone is going to say "we want it" or "i want it" but wonder if you are the same sort that say "I'm sick of the assholes and want a nice guy" but when you get a nice guy you shit all over him and go find yourself another asshole.

It's like those joke emails that go around:
If a guy buys you flowers - he wants to get laid or has been unfaithful
If a guy buys you a gift - he wants to get laid
If a guy buys you an expensive gift - he wants a three some
If a guy doesn't buy a gift - he just wants to get laid
If a guy asks you out - he just wants to get laid ...

Or that lil comic strip:
standing there naked the lil boy says "I've got one of these"
The lil girl lifts up her dress and says "well I got one of these so can get as many of those as I want!"

you hit the nail on the head,
how true.:done:

[Grahameeboy]

Romance? pah.... died about 2 years ago for me.

I was engaged once... she was perfect for me, everything I could ever ask for... in the relationship for a few years, I proposed... we spent months arranging our wedding, our parents both paid for all our relatives to be flown to NZ for the wedding... the day came... she never showed.

Ever since then i've been screwing anything with tits.

Far out... doesnt quite sound as bad written down... doesnt make it hurt any less though.

Geeze mate.....I know it may not seem that simple, however, she did you a favour..you could have got married, things did not work out, divorce etc......her not turning up could be the positive in all this if that makes sense.

Just need to be careful you don't hurt others whilst you screw around......

I was married 8 years, Nats was born, diagnosed June 2004, ex has an affair with her Boss within 12 months, tells me she had been thinking about it for 6 months, I had no idea as we had a lot to deal with and just associated things with her not coping and I was trying to hold things together........basically we wanted another kid but risks of SMA too high and she didn't want all that.

But it was her decision............still gives me crap.........I forgive her still (yep what a moron) and I just get on with it and enjoy my time with Nats without nagging......look at the positives....okay I believe marriage is for good but I probably could not do too much about that given the circumstances and I move on.

[terbang]

Romance? pah.... died about 2 years ago for me.
I was engaged once... she was perfect for me, everything I could ever ask for... in the relationship for a few years, I proposed... we spent months arranging our wedding, our parents both paid for all our relatives to be flown to NZ for the wedding... the day came... she never showed.

Ever since then i've been screwing anything with tits.

Far out... doesnt quite sound as bad written down... doesnt make it hurt any less though.

Jeez that sounds unfortunate, maybe she is off making someone elses life miserable now. And just a little warning, screwing anything that has tits nowdays, may turn up a few surprises...!

[Boob Johnson]

Fantastic thread, ive just spent goodness knows how long reading the lot, top to bottom. So many deserved to be quoted & commented on along the way, some real humdingers.


Most of you in my personal humble opinion summed it up well.


My take on it all is with the rise in feminism (which in part needed to happen) it has made a lot of us blokes very confused & a lot of mixed messages are being banted around.


SNAG? <---- bollocks, good guys always get dumped for the asshole, every time.

I think we just need to stand tall, remember who we are & not be afraid to be that person.......you! Don't try and be someone your not or who you think she wants cause it just isn't going to happen or last.


Im a quite old fashioned these days, prefer to "date", take it slow, get to know the person first. With so many marriages falling apart something is wrong with how they are being set up, so we have to do something a little different.

No sex before marriage seems a little on the extreme side, but if not close to it I reckon.


Remove lust & love cannot be confused :love:


Bloody hard in a small city :whistle::wait:






That's my take on it all anyway......but hey don't take advice from me, im 35 & single :laugh:

[Curious_AJ]

Fantastic thread, ive just spent goodness knows how long reading the lot, top to bottom. So many deserved to be quoted & commented on along the way, some real humdingers.


Most of you in my personal humble opinion summed it up well.


My take on it all is with the rise in feminism (which in part needed to happen) it has made a lot of us blokes very confused & a lot of mixed messages are being banted around.


SNAG? <---- bollocks, good guys always get dumped for the asshole, every time.

I think we just need to stand tall, remember who we are & not be afraid to be that person.......you! Don't try and be someone your not or who you think she wants cause it just isn't going to happen or last.


Im a quite old fashioned these days, prefer to "date", take it slow, get to know the person first. With so many marriages falling apart something is wrong with how they are being set up, so we have to do something a little different.

No sex before marriage seems a little on the extreme side, but if not close to it I reckon.


Remove lust & love cannot be confused :love:


Bloody hard in a small city :whistle::wait:






That's my take on it all anyway......but hey don't take advice from me, im 35 & single :laugh:

great post.. its insiteful whichever way you look at it, and i agree fully..

[Boob Johnson]

great post.. its insiteful whichever way you look at it, and i agree fully..Spose a shags out of the question then :laugh:

[Curious_AJ]

well, the no sex before marriage bit is a tad late for AJ here... but sex with anyone other than my partner is out of the question :p

[Boob Johnson]

well, the no sex before marriage bit is a tad late for AJ here... but sex with anyone other than my partner is out of the question :pHe He.


Really like these forums, lots of people with well rounded senses of humour & interesting posts. Who would of thought a biker forum would be so :sunny:

[Curious_AJ]

KB is the ultimate in awesome... and not to mention, there are a lot of non-bikers, pillions only, and wannabe bikers here (i am of the pillion and wannabe title at the moment lolz)

and hey,this site has been used to meet people before as well.. so this thread may open up the eyes of people looking for biker dates .. ^_^

[Boob Johnson]

and hey,this site has been used to meet people before as well.. so this thread may open up the eyes of people looking for biker dates .. ^_^*holds breath* :innocent:

[Kittyhawk]

Ive never had a problem with dating.

I date classy chicks - and the owness is on me to prove that I aint there just for a shag. After that its all sweet and the good times roll.

I almost miss dating...

But yeah I can see from a chicks point of view, especially in auckland where the majority of single younger guys are sleazy twats really...


Well im not an Aucklander :bleh:

You're such a devil!


KB is the ultimate in awesome... and not to mention, there are a lot of non-bikers, pillions only, and wannabe bikers here (i am of the pillion and wannabe title at the moment lolz)

and hey,this site has been used to meet people before as well.. so this thread may open up the eyes of people looking for biker dates .. ^_^

KB a dating site?.......... Only one thing I date on here, and thats my bike Storm, if I cheat on her, she may throw me off down the road somewhere.

[zeocen]

Well being of the younger (I think? 25? Young? Please?) variety I guess I still have a few yards to go before I'll become 'desirable' hehe, but I've had my fair share of insane girlies, I was always tip toe'ing around them I found... a high upkeep, if you will.

After about 4 - 5 years of no relationship, my partner now who's just shy of 6 months of being together is the best thing that has happened to me, and all I had to do was be myself. We met via me seeing a picture of her and saying "I want to meet her!" which is something I would never normally do, I'm very reserved and shy in the flesh, after an hour or so of uncomfortable silence we soon found common ground and the next date it was made official !

She is a real classic lady, she strangly loves to cook and the closest I'm allowed to helping is peeling the potatoes! She is very homely but knows how to doll herself up when the occasion arises, and can contend with the blokes in the belching department, I have to say, it's the little things sometimes. I haven't been happy like this for a while.

So fear not! If I can find an old fashioned lady with virtues, values and a steady head on her shoulders at this ripe age, then shit, there must be millions out there that will pop up eventually ! :sunny:

When you're able to fart and trap your girlfriend under the sheets while she dies from fumes and laughter, you know you've made the right decision in meeting them. :love:

:sunny: <-- Seriously, best fucking smilie.

[Indiana_Jones]

When you're able to fart and trap your girlfriend under the sheets while she dies from fumes and laughter, you know you've made the right decision in meeting them. :love:



Ah yes, the Dutch Oven, AJ loves that one :sunny:

-Indy

[007XX]

Very well said.... as always :rockon:

Cheers Buddy...

[jrandom]

falling in love is such a wonderful thing, it's the restraining orders that are the bitch :D

Heh.

<img src="http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/useless.jpg"/>

[KATWYN]

My take on it all is with the rise in feminism (which in part needed to happen) it has made a lot of us blokes very confused :

Bit of a bummer that. Feminism is not so much about being as good as or "equal" to men, it is about being as good as and equal to women - in that a woman's, ideas and experiences are also to be valued and that they too have social, economic and legal equality.

Admittedly a small group of 'radical feminists' in Western society may have left lasting "man hating" impressions which have then resulted in tension between the sexes and a negative response to feminist goals (i.e., the above) - it is a pity any type of 'radicals' get to be the most representive of their groups. (I guess they make the most noise)

But it seems a shame that because of this unbalance, mens roles now have become casualties? Men may now have to question whether their experiences are also valued........(i.e., child custody laws for a start)

[Boob Johnson]

Bit of a bummer that. Feminism is not so much about being as good as or "equal" to men, it is about being as good as and equal to women - in that a woman's, ideas and experiences are also to be valued and that they too have social, economic and legal equality.

Admittedly a small group of 'radical feminists' in Western society may have left lasting "man hating" impressions which have then resulted in tension between the sexes and a negative response to feminist goals (i.e., the above) - it is a pity any type of 'radicals' get to be the most representive of their groups. (I guess they make the most noise)

But it seems a shame that because of this unbalance, mens roles now have become casualties? Men may now have to question whether their experiences are also valued........(i.e., child custody laws for a start)I totally agree, we as a society needed to have the whole feminism thang goin on, a lot ways we treated/viewed woman were well over due to be "updated" as it were. I think its just one of those things, a casualty of progress if you will. Like anything the pendulum will swing back but hopefully a little closer to the middle with everyone being comfortable with each ones role & no need to flex our muscles (girlies included) to prove ourselves :sunny:

[Disco Dan]

I still think women should be placed in cages and only used for viewing and procreation.

:girlfight:

[007XX]

I totally agree, we as a society needed to have the whole feminism thang goin on, a lot ways we treated/viewed woman were well over due to be "updated" as it were. I think its just one of those things, a casualty of progress if you will. Like anything the pendulum will swing back but hopefully a little closer to the middle with everyone being comfortable with each ones role & no need to flex our muscles (girlies included) to prove ourselves :sunny:

BRAVO!!! Couldn't have said it better myself...bling sent!

[avgas]

Didn't the dish run away with the spoon?

[jrandom]

I still think women should be placed in cages and only used for viewing and procreation.

Dude, if we all let nasty experiences with oxygen-thieving females affect us like that, the world would be a sad place.

Perhaps you and I should have a talk sometime.

[Boob Johnson]

BRAVO!!! Couldn't have said it better myself...bling sent!How do you send bling on this jolly site!! :weird:

Looked around & cunny seem te find it lus :weird:



Dude, if we all let nasty experiences with oxygen-thieving females affect us like that, the world would be a sad place.

Perhaps you and I should have a talk sometime.lmfao jrandom, got a good giggle that did, would send bling but don't know how :whistle:

[ManDownUnder]

LOL.... I love this. What a merry go round... everyone's views are tainted by others and the fundamentals go unchanged (and reasonably unmentioned).

The fundamentals are these... like 'em or not.

Men do not pick up women. Women allow men to approach them. Tis the same in the whole of the mammalian world To pretend otherwise is true for humans is futile. It is the way it works.
Men and women are different. Androgeny is philosphical ideal that some seek to attain. I do not.
Equal rights I support, equal abilities I debunk at every opportunity. Never confuse the two.Guys, women are wonderfully mysterious creatures that are just delightful. Talk to a few, and listen. Their needs are different to ours (mens). Understand them and meet them where you reasonably can.

Ladies, men are equally complex, just more action than thought. Don't underestimate the complexity of thought though. It's less immediate than for women, we do rather than talk... but everyone thinks. Guys think about doing stuff, women think about emotions.

Despite what's been said over the last 50 years - neither is wrong. They are simply different. Learn how things work on both sides of the fence... in fact - let's just look at that very fence for a second.

Women will think about a fence to be built, envisage the colour style, general composition of the house and grounds and work out how they're going to compliment each other. Then construction comes to mind...

Guys will work out the line, how it needs to be generally contructed, out of what and consider the sweat equity required... before agreeing that yes a fence needs to be built. THEN they start thinking about the design.. and colour?

Men and women are not subjects of the other gender. We need to meet 1/2 way where we should, and agree to be different where we should.

Women = emotional. men = physical
Women = nurturing, men = providing
etc etc etc.

It's GOOD to have someone nurturing while someon else provides. It actually works... and works well. Why rock that boat unless you're seeking androgeny (and WHY seek it is my question).

As for dating - the same rules apply. Accept we are different. Those differences is where the fun is...

[007XX]

Dude, if we all let nasty experiences with oxygen-thieving females affect us like that, the world would be a sad place.

Perhaps you and I should have a talk sometime.

Aaaawwww... I feel a group:grouphug:coming on...:yes:

Funnily enough, I do tend to agree with JR. Bad experiences are only that : an experience. Take the lesson out of it, but do not let it taint your optimism for the rest of your life.

Look at it this way: if and when the right one comes along, you're all "women are only good as decorations", what do you think will happen?

I'm not saying live in hope, but stay open minded and do not ecome prejudiced. You will only do yourself a disservice in the long run...

[kiwifruit]

Dude, if we all let nasty experiences with oxygen-thieving females affect us like that, the world would be a sad place.


innit! !

[007XX]

How do you send bling on this jolly site!! :weird:

Looked around & cunny seem te find it lus :weird:

hit the +/- sign on the right hand side of the person's avatar line...Also take a bit of time to read the FAQs (gawd, what is it about men and instruction reading??:innocent::lol:)


lmfao jrandom, got a good giggle that did, would send bling but don't know how :whistle:

yeah, he's good, ain't he?:yes:

[Boob Johnson]

LOL.... I love this. What a merry go round... everyone's views are tainted by others and the fundamentals go unchanged (and reasonably unmentioned).

The fundamentals are these... like 'em or not.

Men do not pick up women. Women allow men to approach them. Tis the same in the whole of the mammalian world To pretend otherwise is true for humans is futile. It is the way it works.
Men and women are different. Androgeny is philosphical ideal that some seek to attain. I do not.
Equal rights I support, equal abilities I debunk at every opportunity. Never confuse the two.Guys, women are wonderfully mysterious creatures that are just delightful. Talk to a few, and listen. Their needs are different to ours (mens). Understand them and meet them where you reasonably can.

Ladies, men are equally complex, just more action than thought. Don't underestimate the complexity of thought though. It's less immediate than for women, we do rather than talk... but everyone thinks. Guys think about doing stuff, women think about emotions.

Despite what's been said over the last 50 years - neither is wrong. They are simply different. Learn how things work on both sides of the fence... in fact - let's just look at that very fence for a second.

Women will think about a fence to be built, envisage the colour style, general composition of the house and grounds and work out how they're going to compliment each other. Then construction comes to mind...

Guys will work out the line, how it needs to be generally contructed, out of what and consider the sweat equity required... before agreeing that yes a fence needs to be built. THEN they start thinking about the design.. and colour?

Men and women are not subjects of the other gender. We need to meet 1/2 way where we should, and agree to be different where we should.

Women = emotional. men = physical
Women = nurturing, men = providing
etc etc etc.

It's GOOD to have someone nurturing while someon else provides. It actually works... and works well. Why rock that boat unless you're seeking androgeny (and WHY seek it is my question).

As for dating - the same rules apply. Accept we are different. Those differences is where the fun is...Spot on MDU, you put it together well.

A few years back my fiancée & I split at that point I started reading "Men and from Mars, Women are from Venus". I know its an old(er) book now a days but still very relivent today. We have different ways of going about things, don't fight it, just understand it & work with it.



Equal rights I support, equal abilities I debunk at every opportunity. Never confuse the two:niceone:

[Boob Johnson]

hit the +/- sign on the right hand side of the person's avatar line...Also take a bit of time to read the FAQs (gawd, what is it about men and instruction reading??:innocent::lol:)*MUST............NOT..... .......READ............MAPS* :innocent:


Thanks love

[007XX]

*MUST............NOT............READ............MA PS* :innocent:


Thanks love

No worries...we all grow by learning!

[Boob Johnson]

No worries...we all grow by learning!*cough*





As long as it doesn't involve reading a map


:lol:

[Curious_AJ]

Ah yes, the Dutch Oven, AJ loves that one :sunny:

-Indy

i swear... one day I'll do that to you... you won't like that.. my farts are made of poisonous gas remember?? or do i have to bring up the car incident again?? :yes:

[Ocean1]

Women = emotional. men = physical
Women = nurturing, men = providing
etc etc etc.

Two problems there dude.

First, I like a capital in Men.

And second... I ain't giving up on my lifelong ambition to be a "kept Man".

[Ocean1]

gawd, what is it about men and instruction reading??:innocent::lol:

It's cheating.

Besides, instructions discriminate against the illiterate. :whistle:

[peasea]

All together now, awwwwwwww.

:D

The story's even cuter than it was when I, er, first heard it.

:innocent:

Don't you mean "all together now.....bleeeaarrrgh---pitui."?

[007XX]

And second... I ain't giving up on my lifelong ambition to be a "kept Man".

Unfulfilled, eh??? :lol:


It's cheating.

Besides, instructions discriminate against the illiterate. :whistle:

It ain't cheating, it's a time efficient method in achieving greatness...

And only the illiterate will feel discriminated against...surely you're not one of them?:shit:

[Ocean1]

Unfulfilled, eh??? :lol:

I'm working on it OK? :blip:


It ain't cheating, it's a time efficient method in achieving greatness...

And only the illiterate will feel discriminated against...surely you're not one of them?:shit:

Bollocks, ifn' ya do it the same way everyone else does it ya get the same tired old copy. Greatness is achieved by... um, other means. :bleh:

Same with literacy, highly over-rated. I just dictate to Brenda here and she makes with the typing, don't you dear?

Yes, I do boss and fine words they are too. :yes:

[007XX]

Bollocks, ifn' ya do it the same way everyone else does it ya get the same tired old copy. Greatness is achieved by... um, other means. :bleh:

Same with literacy, highly over-rated. I just dictate to Brenda here and she makes with the typing, don't you dear?

Yes, I do boss and fine words they are too. :yes:

Blah,blah,blah...all I heard is : "please oh please, give me a freakin GPS with a smart (but casually sexy) woman's voice, as all I need, is to feel led by the hand to that awesome place I always struggle so much to find..."

:nya::nya::nya:

[Ocean1]

Blah,blah,blah...

You back on maps? Meh, ever heard of Dirk Gently's holistic navigation technique? One simply finds someone that looks like they know where they're going, and follows them.

One rarely gets where one originally intended but you do get to see places you otherwise wouldn't, and you get there in an assured and confident manner, (which is far from unimportant).

And what's more it's a wonderful way to meet new people, (see back OT) with common goals, (once you explain that you're not actually stalking them, exactly, as such).

[007XX]

You back on maps? Meh, ever heard of Dirk Gently's holistic navigation technique? One simply finds someone that looks like they know where they're going, and follows them.

One rarely gets where one originally intended but you do get to see places you otherwise wouldn't, and you get there in an assured and confident manner (which is far more important).

Uh no I wasn't...never mind!:laugh:

That technique you're talking of seems highly suspicious to me:shifty:...what if the person who looks like they know where they're going actually doesn't, but is way too lost to admit it, and is looking at someone else who looks like they know where they're going, and so follows them...:shit:

And that last person is a serial killer or something...

I'd prefer a compass and a good map personally...:yes:

[Hitcher]

You back on maps? Meh, ever heard of Dirk Gently's holistic navigation technique? One simply finds someone that looks like they know where they're going, and follows them.

My Dad used to do this when we were kids -- way before Dirk Gently. Dad called his method "Zen navigation". It worked famously well. Easy to be cynical when you're going to a clearing sale in the backblocks of Taranaki and there is an extremely strong possibility that the vehicle you're following has the same intended destination. But he also used to same technique with spectacular effect finding motels in Auckland. My Dad is a star.

[KATWYN]

Dad called his method "Zen navigation". .

Oh so THATS what it was called. Was used in our family as well. Usually on country roads. I remember it working most times.

[more_fasterer]

Romance? pah.... died about 2 years ago for me.

I was engaged once... she was perfect for me, everything I could ever ask for... in the relationship for a few years, I proposed... we spent months arranging our wedding, our parents both paid for all our relatives to be flown to NZ for the wedding... the day came... she never showed.


:gob: I read this entire thread from start to finish and was gobsmacked that you got treated like that. When I meet you I'll buy you a beer - nobody should have to put up with that, but like others have said it could've been worse - she could've married you.



I guess you lot all know now why im such a man whore. :innocent::shutup:

Can I enrol in lessons??? p/t


In all seriousness, now that the predefined roles of "man" and "woman" are so blurred (look at our PM and her wife) it doesn't really matter what stereotype you want your potential partner to conform to, cos ultimately it'll fail as you've based your relationship on assumptions.

In my experience, it's far better to just be yourself, rather than try and pump yourself up into "a big tough man", or pretend you're really, really in touch with a woman's feelings (because medical studies have proven that this is impossible if you have a Y chromosome:whistle:). Again, this comes down to trying to instil assumptions or sterotypical views of your self towards your partner.

I still try to be a gentleman, cos that's who I am. Obviously, (and it's already been said in this thread) you're never gonna see 100% eye-to-eye with your partner on everything. But it gives me warm fuzzies to hear some of the stories of people just clicking straight away - and being able to work at their relationship to overcome their differences. It also fills me with confidence that, when the time is right, I'll meet the right person for me (just as I'll be the right person for her).

And I'm also entirely confident that it'll happen to you too, Kitty. But probably not through NZDating.

[Kittyhawk]

I still think women should be placed in cages and only used for viewing and procreation.

:girlfight:
I could say the same about guys and my ex! But no I have learnt alot of lessons in my ex relationship. Some bad, some good. The bad ones, Im not holding against him it takes 2 to argue. I wont hold it against any other guy either. Everyone is different, react to situations differently, and support in different ways.

Just because one treated you like shit dont mean everyone else would. If you shag most females, is this like seeking revenge sub conciously?

[Boob Johnson]

If you shag most females, is this like seeking revenge sub conciously?Certainly some seem to view it that way. Always puzzled me that one. After a break up I usually go solo for a while, take some time out, a bit a "me" time :sunny:

[TRAINING WHEELS]

Ive been with my partner over 6 years now and we still go on dates every week. However i am lucky i do have a romantic partner who writes poems and letters to me every now and then.
I also go on dates with others (yes my partner is awear) i am some what a hopeless romantic deep down so dinner and movies, walks along the beach watching sunsets and late night swims are still alive with me and my dates including my partner.
I do not go to bed with my dates nor do i intend to and they are all awear i am spoken for.
For me dating is a meeting of the mind and soul its not physical but more than just friends....
Respect is the biggest thing as mentoned though....
Romance is out there kitty coume join us LOL....

[Ocean1]

Im not holding against him


I wont hold it against any other guy either.

I think I may see where your problem is dear...

[Busy]

Romance ....

You place a sweet note on her pillow - you get asked what you broke
You make a candle lite dinner - you get asked if you found her insurance policy
You run her a bath (with salts and flowers etc) and want to bath her like a queen - she thinks you don't like the way she smells
You try do a picnic on the spur of the moment - she doesn't have time to put her face on so thinks you want to show the world how ugly she is
You lay your jacket in the mud for her to walk over - she'll walk around it and make some remark about that was stupid getting your jacket wet and dirty.
You are on a very tight budget but you buy a single red rose - you get accused of cheating
You do the deed on a first date but after finding your way to the kitchen and grabbing some ice cubes you don't manage to find her room, instead her mothers - In the morning you get accused of being everything, including being the cause of cancer (according to the daughter), no lights, big house ... next time I'm taking bread crumbs
She comes home from work tense, you opt to rub her neck and shoulders rather than cook dinner - she will ask/think she is fat
You break up with her, so you use her tooth brush to clean the sink, you take her stuff back and you end up sleeping together, you feel bad so go to tell her until you catch her new b/f using that tooth brush - who said romance is dead

[Paul in NZ]

What are you expecting?

Love? Lust? Romance? Skyrockets and parades??? Its not like that in my humble but lengthy experience. True 'Love' happens as a result of time + respect... I fell in 'love' with Vicki the very second I saw her, it wasn't just that she was / is a hottie, there were plenty of them but it was just something.... BLING! Magic... However, that quickly fades if there is nothing else - we are each in the others debt and we both make accomodations to the other in soooo many ways... RESPECT, Understanding and TRUST... She knows I'm obsessed with bikes and that I held that back while the kids were young and I still do because we are not rich - but she indulges me and pretends she loves the festing piles of munt in the shed, I know she loves her antiques etc so I have become knowledgable there and have even 'restored (read ruined)' a few things for her...

Everyday i wake up and just thank my lucky stars I found such a partner (and I mean PARTNER) and every day I tell her I love her.... We have been married 27 years in august together 28/9... It just gets better and better...

So - keep looking and search for someone that is their own person BUT will allow you to be your own person as well, ie they respect you and who you are! All else flows from that...

[McJim]

If you shag most females, is this like seeking revenge sub conciously?

Personally I'd have called it luck in my younger days....:rofl:

[Ocean1]

This has got to be the oldest topic discussed on the planet. And perhaps the one least capable of arriving at a consensus. For a very very good reason.

From an evolutionary perspective Men and Women require different things from a relationship. Once you get that worked out why should it come as a huge surprise that Men and Women have slightly different agendas with regards to a relationship. Sheesh, it ain’t rocket science, they want different things, COMPROMISE. :argue:

In order to propagate their worthy seed Women want a Man with genes capable of delivering the highest survival traits in their offspring. I understand Women have a highly refined set of measurement criteria they apply to prospective mates. I have no idea what those criteria are other than to note that apparently I personally don’t meet most of ‘em. She also wants him to STAY THE FUCK RIGHT HERE AND SUPPORT US. Which means ideally a manogymouse set-up where the Man’s focus is entirely on the Woman and her kids. Hence the high proportion of really scary “romantic” words essentially meaning “long term commitment” :shit: in most of the above posts by the concaved types.

In order to propagate their genes to best effect a Man wants to impregnate as many Woman as possible, preferably the ones with genes capable of delivering the highest survival traits in his offspring. The best strategy here is to fuck every Woman not substantially faster than him or not currently being otherwise entertained by a significantly larger Man. He also needs to do a tricky balancing act involving the number of offspring he can then support. The most genetically desirable ones (chase first) can readily be identified because every Man has a template hard wired into his neural cortex which diverts most of his available blood supply away from his brain. For this reason Men’s views on sexual relations are usually less than lucid. :drool:

So, can we recognise the emotive and physical triggers for each sex which effectively do the “choosing” without benefit of higher cognitive input? :confused:

[Winston001]

So, can we recognise the emotive and physical triggers for each sex which effectively do the “choosing” without benefit of higher cognitive input? :confused:

Good post (apologies for cutting it up). This question opens a whole can of psychological worms and the late Dr Freud would be all over it.

Every individual is shaped by their unique genetics as well as their own experiences. Depending upon the relationship with his mother, a man will look for similar traits in a partner - or completely different traits. A woman will seek her father, or perhaps the ideal of some other significant male in her early years.

Leaving that aside, there is research which shows that each culture has it's own criteria as to what the ideal male/female should look like.

[Ocean1]

Good post (apologies for cutting it up). This question opens a whole can of psychological worms and the late Dr Freud would be all over it.

I like worms. I'm less enamoured of Freud.


Every individual is shaped by their unique genetics as well as their own experiences. Depending upon the relationship with his mother, a man will look for similar traits in a partner - or completely different traits. A woman will seek her father, or perhaps the ideal of some other significant male in her early years.

Pure Freud. Grain of salt etc.


Leaving that aside, there is research which shows that each culture has it's own criteria as to what the ideal male/female should look like.

Does that surprise you?

Want to take a stab at the reason for the attraction of some females to males of a different culture?

[Winston001]

Want to take a stab at the reason for the attraction of some females to males of a different culture?

.............no. :D

[Ocean1]

.............no. :D

Coward....

[Joni]

Coward....Well... spill it then!

[Winston001]

Want to take a stab at the reason for the attraction of some females to males of a different culture?

Ok ok.......hybrid vigour?? Exoticism?

[007XX]

Want to take a stab at the reason for the attraction of some females to males of a different culture?


Huh...care to give an example?...that seems to be a bit of a broad generalisation.
What I mean is some interracial attraction are a bit more obvious than others...For example Heidi Klum and Seal.

Where myself (french) being attracted to my husband (kiwi) would go maybe fairly unnoticed upon a first meeting with other people. And yet, we are from quite different cultures.

I think the answer to your question would have to come to the individuals preferences, which none of us can truly know.

Or did I miss something?

[Mr. Peanut]

Stop worrying about where "society" is going and do your own thing.

[Ocean1]

Well... spill it then!

:laugh:


Ok ok.......hybrid vigour?? Exoticism?

Yup, insurance against inbreeding in a small tribe.
Same reason some tribes had a tradition of exporting surplus males. Scottish Celts raised first boy children as potential leaders. Second boys as warriors, often adopted out for training to other tribes. Nothing more surplus than another alpha male. :laugh:


Huh...care to give an example?...that seems to be a bit of a broad generalisation.

It is, I'm not talking about individual motivations, just some of the evolutionary reasons for some of our mating behaviour. There's some difference between current cultures but the basic behaviour has been observable throughout history.

[Maha]

For example Heidi Klum and Seal ...:sick:

Ew fuck are you kidding??....:shit:

[Kittyhawk]

Stop worrying about where "society" is going and do your own thing.

But over time society has changed. 4 years ago things were alot different.

Men appear to be less commited, as well as females. Everyone sleeps with everyone if ya single kinda thing. Even in casual relationships there will be one side which will get hurt when the other finds someone better than them.

[McJim]

But over time society has changed. 4 years ago things were alot different.

Men appear to be less commited, as well as females. Everyone sleeps with everyone if ya single kinda thing. Even in casual relationships there will be one side which will get hurt when the other finds someone better than them.

Try joining a brass band or summat. I hear all them brass players are esy pickings for chicks on bikes :rofl: ;)

[Busy]

One time at band camp ...

Ah come on, someone had to say it :p

[Ronin]

One time at band camp ...

Ah come on, someone had to say it :p

Just one time?

[Xile]

This has got to be the oldest topic discussed on the planet. And perhaps the one least capable of arriving at a consensus. For a very very good reason.

From an evolutionary perspective Men and Women require different things from a relationship. Once you get that worked out why should it come as a huge surprise that Men and Women have slightly different agendas with regards to a relationship. Sheesh, it ain’t rocket science, they want different things, COMPROMISE. :argue:

In order to propagate their worthy seed Women want a Man with genes capable of delivering the highest survival traits in their offspring. I understand Women have a highly refined set of measurement criteria they apply to prospective mates. I have no idea what those criteria are other than to note that apparently I personally don’t meet most of ‘em. She also wants him to STAY THE FUCK RIGHT HERE AND SUPPORT US. Which means ideally a manogymouse set-up where the Man’s focus is entirely on the Woman and her kids. Hence the high proportion of really scary “romantic” words essentially meaning “long term commitment” :shit: in most of the above posts by the concaved types.

In order to propagate their genes to best effect a Man wants to impregnate as many Woman as possible, preferably the ones with genes capable of delivering the highest survival traits in his offspring. The best strategy here is to fuck every Woman not substantially faster than him or not currently being otherwise entertained by a significantly larger Man. He also needs to do a tricky balancing act involving the number of offspring he can then support. The most genetically desirable ones (chase first) can readily be identified because every Man has a template hard wired into his neural cortex which diverts most of his available blood supply away from his brain. For this reason Men’s views on sexual relations are usually less than lucid. :drool:

So, can we recognise the emotive and physical triggers for each sex which effectively do the “choosing” without benefit of higher cognitive input? :confused:
Really nice post



Leaving that aside, there is research which shows that each culture has it's own criteria as to what the ideal male/female should look like.
The culture implies that you don't have the same criteria for what defines a "secured future" man, or a strong man. In our "western" society, security is a goos job, money, etc. In countries in Africa for example, it will be a man without disease, strong, who can work had. Basically, stay the same goal: have something to eat for the female and their offsprings.
The males, will be choosing a female with good potential of reproduction and very important, fidelity (to be sure the offsprings are from him). There are apparently some unconscious criteria of what is good "mother": the ratio waist/hips for example.
Sorry dont mean to be macho or something, just biological point of view, animal behaviour ;)
Some other criteria are applied unconsciously by both female and male, like smell. Our natural odours reflect our immunological set: and the best is to find a partner with a most different set than yours, permitting a greater probability to be resistant to diseases for instance, hence the "hybrid vigour"...

questions?
loooool
...Ah the mysteries of love summarizes to only reproduction goals...sad reality of human complexity for attraction :Punk:

[cowpoos]

Really nice post


The culture implies that you don't have the same criteria for what defines a "secured future" man, or a strong man. In our "western" society, security is a goos job, money, etc. In countries in Africa for example, it will be a man without disease, strong, who can work had. Basically, stay the same goal: have something to eat for the female and their offsprings.
The males, will be choosing a female with good potential of reproduction and very important, fidelity (to be sure the offsprings are from him). There are apparently some unconscious criteria of what is good "mother": the ratio waist/hips for example.
Sorry dont mean to be macho or something, just biological point of view, animal behaviour ;)
Some other criteria are applied unconsciously by both female and male, like smell. Our natural odours reflect our immunological set: and the best is to find a partner with a most different set than yours, permitting a greater probability to be resistant to diseases for instance, hence the "hybrid vigour"...

questions?
loooool
...Ah the mysteries of love summarizes to only reproduction goals...sad reality of human complexity for attraction :Punk:
Don't you have a synosis on this paticular subject doll?? ;)

Maybe you could post it?

[Xile]

Don't you have a synosis on this paticular subject doll?? ;)
Maybe you could post it?

Hey darl',
hehe...nope...no synopsis :p but an article!
Pretty interesting though, with some criteria of what females like in males and vice-versa...
Interested?

Here an interesting article (http://http://www.questia.com/googleScholar.qst;jsessionid=G8SVtXSfgQNkvtwjgZY9D BQfKj7JwW3GLHCK9xYFLpJGs8kmnT2c!-678747329?docId=5008024630) about it mate choice in humans...(just a summary)

[Mekk]

But over time society has changed. 4 years ago things were alot different.


It's been going on for way longer than that. You're just seeing a different side of it, methinks.

[007XX]

Ew fuck are you kidding??....:shit:

nah mate...they've now been together for a couple of years and have (i think) 2 kids together.

[Kittyhawk]

It's been going on for way longer than that. You're just seeing a different side of it, methinks.

Youre probablly right :innocent:

[KATWYN]

What I mean is some interracial attraction are a bit more obvious than others...For example Heidi Klum and Seal.

Where myself (french) being attracted to my husband (kiwi)

The need for "difference" in a relationship to keep the spark going.....?

[007XX]

The need for "difference" in a relationship to keep the spark going.....?

I don't think it is quite that simple...

Funnily enough, hubby and i are like 2 peas in a pod. Even though we were brought up in different countries and cultures, our upbringing was very much the same, and we just have the same views on 99% of things.

So, once again, I'd say it is down to the individual's physical and mental criterias for attraction.

[TonyB]

I don't think it is quite that simple...

Funnily enough, hubby and i are like 2 peas in a pod. Even though we were brought up in different countries and cultures, our upbringing was very much the same, and we just have the same views on 99% of things.

So, once again, I'd say it is down to the individual's physical and mental criterias for attraction.

So in other words they need to have a nice butt? :rolleyes: Sorry- couldn't resist. As you were:shutup:

[Ocean1]

The need for "difference" in a relationship to keep the spark going.....?

You get more Volts from a good inter-species fling dear? :shit::sick::shutup:

[Hitcher]

You get more Volts from a good inter-species fling dear?

Ohm-I-god, it's the amps that trouble me most.

[007XX]

So in other words they need to have a nice butt? :rolleyes: Sorry- couldn't resist. As you were:shutup:

:laugh: cheeky sod! And yes, my hubby's arse had to be a winner:first:...and it is:love:

Your inability to resist is what got you in trouble in the first place. Better get that seen too, me reckons! :lol:

[KATWYN]

You get more Volts from a good inter-species fling dear? :shit::sick::shutup:

I wouldn't have a clue. I was the one asking the question. Is it having difference in our relationships that keep them going?
more interesting etc?

[007XX]

Ohm-I-god

What's that? a new prayer to the Viagra almighty? :lol: :dodge:

[Ocean1]

I wouldn't have a clue. I was the one asking the question. Is it having difference in our relationships that keep them going?
more interesting etc?

I don't know if it's a significant factor. Radical differences in core beliefs or behavioural ideals doesn't sound like starter, too much amunition for an eventual contempt. Neither does perfect agreement on all fronts sound particularly attractive. The whole language is too fuzzy to define romantic concepts of "compatibility" accurately. For me, it seems the usual "difference" is a good start. Throw in a healthy dose of respect and a willingness to go beyond half way and maybe you've got the makings.

[Ocean1]

What's that? a new prayer to the Viagra almighty? :lol: :dodge:

Ohm Mani Padme Hummm... Ohm Mani Padme Hummm... Ohm Mani Padme Hummm...

[Steam]

Ohm-I-god, it's the amps that trouble me most.


You get more Volts...

I'm shocked at this appalling attempt at humor.

[Bend-it]

From the couples I've seen, there must be an agreement and compatibility in worldview, values and some of the things that are non-negotiable.

Variety at the surface level eg, interests, hobbies etc give the relationahip colour, but the core beliefs of both people need to be the same.

[007XX]

Om Mani Padme Hum... Om Mani Padme Hum... Om Mani Padme Hum...

So, you're into Tibetans now? :lol: