I'm fostering a child

[u4ea]

Well the last few weeks have been full of anticipation for the arrival of another child in my home and now its confirmed it will be next week. A couple of months ago a FGC meeting with CYFS took place in regards to a family members welfare.The parents have basically disowned the child.There is abuse issues as well.I put my hat in the ring to take care of this child as no one else would step up.I knew the placement would be any time.I wondered if I was capable of raising another teenager in my humble two bedroom cottage on my humble income. I was worried that two teenagers need their own space so was told of an old house truck cabin which would be ideal sleepout. I was given it that day!!I then had to figure out how to move it.I approached some locals to help lift the cabin .....within 24 hours they had organised for a truck and crane!!Chanceyy knew of my situation and gave me a freezer full of meat.Dognbikes has wired the "sleepout" .My mum and dad have given me extra blankets and as they are raising their great grandchild any support from them is over and above .I am just soo grateful to everyone who has contributed to helping get ready for our new member of this home.You guys are very supportive when so many people have told me not to bother .. well every chid needs love and understanding and theres more than enough from the generosity of people in my world..from the bottom of my heart..

Thankyou

Roll on next week..u4ea has braxton hixes!!!(fake labour pains)

[Nasty]

You have done so much and are now shown that what goes around comes around ... girl good luck ... teenagers totally scare the crap outta me ... I am sure that with time and your love and care this kids life will find a positive and fantastic new spin :yes:

[Steam]

Wow you are great, NZ needs more people like you! What a huge commitment, good on you.

It's great that you got the sleepout / cabin, it makes a real difference to a teenage kid to have their own space, especially someone who is probably a bit messed up like a foster kid.

If I had money I'd buy the kid a roadworthy shitter bike to give him a bit of transport freedom, that's another great thing to have. I don't got no money so I won't, but if I did I would.

Once again, good on ya!

[Little Miss Trouble]

Good on you for stepping up and making a difference!

Once again yay for KBers rallying around one of our own when help is needed, community spirit is well and truely alive around here!:sunny:

[u4ea]

You have done so much and are now shown that what goes around comes around ... girl good luck ... teenagers totally scare the crap outta me ... I am sure that with time and your love and care this kids life will find a positive and fantastic new spin :yes:
thanx!yer Im a little terrified but my son is neally 17 so ive had a practice run!


Wow you are great, NZ needs more people like you! What a huge commitment, good on you.

It's great that you got the sleepout / cabin, it makes a real difference to a teenage kid to have their own space, especially someone who is probably a bit messed up like a foster kid.

If I had money I'd buy the kid a roadworthy shitter bike to give him a bit of transport freedom, that's another great thing to have. I don't got no money so I won't, but if I did I would.

Once again, good on ya!
Thanx!my son will go in the sleepout,hes fixing it up so a great project that we can all do together as a family!the paint brushes will be swinging!!Theres an old ag out in my shed which is another ptroject as well!!Chomping at the bit to get that up and running!!


Good on you for stepping up and making a difference!
thanx!And kbers and motorcycle family as a whole are wonderful !!!

Once again yay for KBers rallying around one of our own when help is needed, community spirit is well and truely alive around here!:sunny:

[Grub]

That's a pretty cool thing you're doing there U4ea, good to see 'our team' stepped up ... big ups to each of them.

Be nice to see all 3 of you out on rides, how good is chanceyy with a pillion ... lol

[ajturbo]

hope the landlord doesn't know about the "extra" room......

so it's now called..

"U4ea's Bed and breakfast"....

good one matey
and have fun!... make his days happy!:sunny:

[Curious_AJ]

good on you :)

[Blondini]

That takes some courage and much love.I admire you and I wish I was in a position to Do this myself:yes::love:

[Trudes]

Well done Luv, good luck with everything, you're a kind and brave soul to do that!!:yes:

[yungatart]

Good on you girl!
That is one of the lucky teenagers..having someone like you on his side.
I hope it goes really well for all of you!

[dogsnbikes]

You have a huge heart girl and you never question your actions when helping others thats just the way your made

and my gift to you Is only a drop in the pond compared too what you yourself are doing

Anything we can do too help you out is a honor:rockon:

[Lissa]

Good on ya!!!! Thats really good of you. :love: I'm in awe... I hope everything goes well for you and your new family member.

[Zuki Bandit]

Good on you, what an amazing thing to do!:yes:

[MyGSXF]

:gob: WOW!!! Awesome stuff U4ea!! :2thumbsup

Wishing you all the very best for your new family!!! :banana:

Jen :rockon:

[u4ea]

That's a pretty cool thing you're doing there U4ea, good to see 'our team' stepped up ... big ups to each of them.
yes the team is awesome!

Be nice to see all 3 of you out on rides, how good is chanceyy with a pillion ... lol
oh yer!we will be out there soon hehe


hope the landlord doesn't know about the "extra" room......

so it's now called..

"U4ea's Bed and breakfast"....

good one matey
and have fun!... make his days happy!:sunny:
haha the landlady is pretty cruisy!hey you know shes a biker so no worries..


You have a huge heart girl and you never question your actions when helping others thats just the way your made

and my gift to you Is only a drop in the pond compared too what you yourself are doing

Anything we can do too help you out is a honor:rockon:
I am truly humbled.Thankyou


good on you :)


That takes some courage and much love.I admire you and I wish I was in a position to Do this myself:yes::love:


Well done Luv, good luck with everything, you're a kind and brave soul to do that!!:yes:


Good on you girl!
That is one of the lucky teenagers..having someone like you on his side.
I hope it goes really well for all of you!


Good on ya!!!! Thats really good of you. :love: I'm in awe... I hope everything goes well for you and your new family member.


Good on you, what an amazing thing to do!:yes:

Our home will be filled with music as the young person loves playing guitar and writes amazing tunes ,as my son has put down his guitar I think theyll be jamming!I have a feeling things will all just fall in to place.Very keen to get an afterschool job as well.
All your words are reinforcing that I am on the right track.Im Blown away!:sunny:

[Meanie]

Nice one u4ea I appreciate where you are coming from and what you are doing My wife and i have been fostering for forteen years now and have had many children come and go The very first of out foster children who was fourteen when he came to us still calls in now and then, calls my wife mum and named his first child after our down syndrome son
We still have at the moment four foster children in our care two of whom are teenagers and the twins who are twelve We have had the twins since they were 14 months old and have gaurdianship and custody of them which is the next best thing to adoption They see themselves as our children and we see them the same
Best advise i can give you is always treat them the same as you would your own
Need any help of advise just pm me and we will be only too happy to help
Good on everyone who has helped u4ea it is a wonderful thing she has done and dont forget there will be times that she will need much more help, we all know how difficult teenagers can be
Levin crane hire, they moved my sleepout onto my section :yes: a few years ago

[u4ea]

oh that is very refreshing Meanie!I will definatly be asking you a few questions as the need arises.As it is a family member I am confident we will all be ok .Although we havent seen each other for years (family dynamics are crazy)we have cool memories.Am confident the "teething" will go well as I intend to be as consistant as I was with my son .And hey...common interest in motorbikes ..... :scooter:..

[chanceyy]

ahh honey ya know where the coffee & venting place is when two growing teenagers get a bit much :whistle:

to be able to give "him" the security & sense of belonging is awesome, and at least you already have a relationship with him.

Well done chicky for putting your life & sense of freedom on hold to cater to his needs. Am sure that a few will offer a pillion ride to him so you can get out & about, cause rides are not quite the same without you :yes: ..now to sort the battery ;)

I take my hat off to you, & regardless of what everyone else says & thinks your following your gut & heart, how could anyone not appreciate it. :Punk:

Just remember where we (your friends) are when you need a hand, am sure between us we can help out when needed :sunny:

[u4ea]

Chanceyy I am quite speechless.You have been such a great mate.I dont have a sense of putting my life on hold just a shift in my plans!!!!Wasnt planned but as you know Ill do whatever I can to give this child a good life.Two teens will be a challenge but I know where the jug is at your place!!!Will get that bike on the road a soon as the sleepout is finished.

[chanceyy]

awww hon but that is wot friends are for, but also do not underestimate your "shift of plans" its a huge adjustment so all the kudos goes to you babe .. we are just here beside ya :yes:

hmmm can not wait til you can get out & about on the bike again :yes:

[zeocen]

I have to post in this thread just to let you know that you're awesome !
The kid is no doubt going to have a new lease on life once he settles in, all thanks to you, now he needs to be introduced to KB!

Really, reading things like this makes the world seem a little more colourful.

[86GSXR]

My pillion seat is available anytime to any of you Jodi :yes:

[Paul in NZ]

Well if they were giving out medals for service to the community and for being decent human beings i guess people who foster kids would be pretty high on the list of worthy recipients - well done you lot... Not sure if i would have the balls for it meself - I'm too damn selfish and getting worse as I get older and the old energy levels drop.... Still - I can't sing either but sure admire a good singer so I can appreciate the effort - well done and let me know if we can help out in any way!

Cheers

[caesius]

I don't normally post many generic "well done" threads because I don't know anyone from here well, but in this case I can't not.

Thats amazing. I'm actually lost for words.

[u4ea]

My pillion seat is available anytime to any of you Jodi :yes:


aww yay!!! thankyou! He's has had experience riding so Im sure he will be a great pillion.As you know my confidence isnt that great where pillioning is concerned so MUCH APPRECIATED.I have a spare helmet(not as good as mine so Ill wear the old one) and leather jacket and gloves and Im hoping he may fit my boots so we are pretty well ready!!!

[chanceyy]

My pillion seat is available anytime to any of you Jodi :yes:




Awesome 86 .. be nuffing like riding on the daytona to make one smile ... :yes:


aww yay!!! thankyou! He's has had experience riding so Im sure he will be a great pillion.As you know my confidence isnt that great where pillioning is concerned so MUCH APPRECIATED.I have a spare helmet(not as good as mine so Ill wear the old one) and leather jacket and gloves and Im hoping he may fit my boots so we are pretty well ready!!!


yipeee summer is coming ... (somewhere) & certainly a few ks are planned :whistle:

[sarahtvet]

We haven't met yet but you are obviously an amazing person and I am sure this young addition to your family will thrive with the love and care that is coming his way.

Look forward to seeing you on a manawatu ride or social event soon.

Good on you girl !!

[u4ea]

I have to post in this thread just to let you know that you're awesome !
The kid is no doubt going to have a new lease on life once he settles in, all thanks to you, now he needs to be introduced to KB!

Really, reading things like this makes the world seem a little more colourful.
yer new town with a hint of rural living has to be good:sunny:


Well if they were giving out medals for service to the community and for being decent human beings i guess people who foster kids would be pretty high on the list of worthy recipients - well done you lot... Not sure if i would have the balls for it meself - I'm too damn selfish and getting worse as I get older and the old energy levels drop.... Still - I can't sing either but sure admire a good singer so I can appreciate the effort - well done and let me know if we can help out in any way!

Cheers
Wow thankyou


I don't normally post many generic "well done" threads because I don't know anyone from here well, but in this case I can't not.

Thats amazing. I'm actually lost for words.
From a complete stranger its words like these that give me the courage and stregnth in my convictionn to raise this child


We haven't met yet but you are obviously an amazing person and I am sure this young addition to your family will thrive with the love and care that is coming his way.

Look forward to seeing you on a manawatu ride or social event soon.

Good on you girl !!
Looking forward to meeting ya Sarah.Im not that amazing..:innocent:

[Macktheknife]

Looking forward to meeting ya Sarah.Im not that amazing..:innocent:

Tui anyone?


Good on you, you are an inspiration and have a generous heart, what else do you need to be amazing?
I am far away but if I can help let me know, might have some gear lying around, let me know what size he is.
Mack

[u4ea]

Tui anyone?


Good on you, you are an inspiration and have a generous heart, what else do you need to be amazing?
I am far away but if I can help let me know, might have some gear lying around, let me know what size he is.
Mack

Aww .... thankyou!

[86GSXR]

aww yay!!! thankyou! He's has had experience riding so Im sure he will be a great pillion.As you know my confidence isnt that great where pillioning is concerned so MUCH APPRECIATED.I have a spare helmet(not as good as mine so Ill wear the old one) and leather jacket and gloves and Im hoping he may fit my boots so we are pretty well ready!!!

Excellent :yes: Hopefully we'll have another young biker in the making then. And sounds like he'll be well kitted out soon too :sunny:

[u4ea]

Absolutely!!!!!He cant wait to strip the ag(hasnt been going for a couple of years) and get out and about on the back of a bike!I think Ill be caving into pressure to get suzzi back on the road!Am taking him to practice day on Saturday. I cant wait till he arrives.Will get him into the 'groove' :scooter:in no time!!!!

[Angusdog]

I'm sitting at my desk with wet eyes. There is so much bad news in this country, so to read this makes me think there is good in this world. Thank you for that. I try to do good things (Supporting World Vision etc as best I can), but it's nothing compared to you. Perhaps when the time is right, our family can do something similar.

[u4ea]

I'm sitting at my desk with wet eyes. There is so much bad news in this country, so to read this makes me think there is good in this world. Thank you for that. I try to do good things (Supporting World Vision etc as best I can), but it's nothing compared to you. Perhaps when the time is right, our family can do something similar.

This child has been given all the toys and hasnt been denied any privaleges which World Vision support.However we are humanitarians Angusdog which was my reason for joining a section of NZDF when I was younger.When there are cercumstances which can make make a chids world miserable we feel we can change that. .A feeling of belonging and love and caring is what he knows is waiting here.I have explained to my son that he is not being pushed out only that we are making room for another.I have to start from scratch as I havnt raised two kids but am soo looking forward to Thursday when we have our boy home.:sunny:

[chanceyy]

with all the abuse cases in the fore of the media at the moment, alot of those children would have been better off in foster care ..

I take my hat off to all those ppl who open their homes & hearts to children who need a loving secure home

Jodi girl at least you know that you will never be alone in going through the trials & tribulations that will be your way ..

help is only a email, text or phone call away.

[Winston001]

Just like to add my congratulations and good wishes. I admire people who foster children. You are one of a rare kind of person and you remind us that in among all of the bad stuff we hear about, there are are good decent people quietly going about making our community a better place.

[u4ea]

Just like to add my congratulations and good wishes. I admire people who foster children. You are one of a rare kind of person and you remind us that in among all of the bad stuff we hear about, there are are good decent people quietly going about making our community a better place.

Thankyou.Theres a few of us out there who who do this for kids and the quedos is not one I hold alone.

Well our first week has been awesome.:sunny:Very tiring getting used to the 6am routine:yawn: as I thought it a good idea to get used to it as next week he starts catching the school bus.He is discovering I am very regemented :woohoo:but it is proving to be a good structure.He is adjusting extremely well at home and loves his new school which is really supporting him with his music.My boy is settled in the sleepout(work in progress) and the lad is enjoying his new room.He has a new girlfreind "Agnes" and has started pulling her to bits.We have discovered with a bit of helpyou know who you people are ..thankyou:innocent:that things are a bit worn and the rings are a bit dodgy.But an awesome project for him to get his teeth into.:Punk:

Heres the lad with Agnes

[MSTRS]

Boys just love to tinker and get dirty. Even if he never gets the AG sorted, he is learning important stuff, and has a direction and goal in mind. Just the thing to put a young'un on the right track for life!!

[u4ea]

Boys just love to tinker and get dirty. Even if he never gets the AG sorted, he is learning important stuff, and has a direction and goal in mind. Just the thing to put a young'un on the right track for life!!


Hell yer!!Has a lead light when things get a bit dim............we will get the ol girl fired up yet!!!!I dont condone violence but nothing a good kicking wont fix<_<

[terbang]

Wow, you are a legend. (still impressed with the tattoos too)

[Finn]

You might want to leave the crane put for the first month or so... Tuck him into bed at night then hoist the sleep out up about 50 metres. You'll sleep well knowing he'll still be there in the morning.

[u4ea]

Well thought Ide better post in and let ya all know I have not been able to give this kid a 'new start'..It may appear the intial assult from his parents may have been warranted as it was this kid who ended up with the charge.I wasn't given all the facts by the initial social worker.A few weeks ago he decided to take a pocket knife to school and smash a kid in the face(hit first grrrrrr)Came as a total shock to me as I wasnt prepared for this nor saw it coming.He had been slacking off a bit and I just thought it was because he had settled in and was just pushing boundaries to turn back the leaf.I took him back to CYF and said no more!!!They sent him to another town as I had to continue with my course and assessments were due.He's back as of last night as he only got suspended from school(has absolutly no concept of his actions and even tried to lie about why the pocket knife was in his pocket).Fortunatly my neighbour is in the army and has stepped forward to continue with his care(going through approval process).A bit of 'corporal' treatment will be the best medicine for him I'm sure.I only hope that this kid one day soon realises that the world doesn't owe him any favours and that if I hadn't helped him he would more than likely be in residential care(Juvi).I think it has come down to 'spoilt brat syndrome' as I cant give him the holidays in Aussie and reataurant dinners he was accustomed to at home.All I had was Ag,home cooked dinners and a humble country cottage.However I have no compassion left.Thanx for all your encouragement when I first took him in I just have to do whats rights for my own son and me now.

[chanceyy]

Good call Jodi

You & your sons safety is paramount, have heard this before with CYPS that they do not disclose the full case of said child .. you can only made decisions on what you know at the time


at least you tried. Thats more than others have...

[yungatart]

You did good Jodi! You took him on and offered stability, boundaries, love and acceptance.
It is unfortunate that you were not given all the facts in the first place (why do they do that?)
It is not your failure.
You are doing the right thing for you and your boy...all the best!

[Goblin]

Well thought Ide better post in and let ya all know I have not been able to give this kid a 'new start'...

I think it has come down to 'spoilt brat syndrome' as I cant give him the holidays in Aussie and reataurant dinners he was accustomed to at home.All I had was Ag,home cooked dinners and a humble country cottage.However I have no compassion left.Thanx for all your encouragement when I first took him in I just have to do whats rights for my own son and me now.Really sorry to hear it didn't work out for you. I think this 'spoilt brat' theory is right on the money tho. So many parents raise their kids this way and wonder why they go off the rails when they dont get their way. It's the jellyfish parenting style. Kid asks for something, parent says no, kid winges and whines....parent caves in and says ok. This is why there are so many fucked up young people going postal. When they get out in the real world they think the word owes them everything because the parents never taught them to earn anything.

Sounds like you're doing the right thing with your own son. Hope all is well.

[MSTRS]

.....He's back as of last night...

How can they make you take him back (even short term) ??
And we know that you did not fail. Kids like this never learned personal responsibility and by their mid-teens it takes a world of hurt to correct that. Not your job, eh?

[Meanie]

We have two kids at our home that we foster and two others we have now gaurdianship and custody of A realy neat bunch of kids who we love very much but we have also had the rat bags and had to throw in the towel and let someone else deal with them so dont feel bad about it sounds like a decision you made wisely
Dont get me started on CYPS or ill not stop until i get thrown off the site

[janno]

What a disappointment for you! But of course you and your family come first without question.

And perhaps there is another fosterchild out there who is not a budding psychopath who really needs you.

It'd be hard to trust the welfare agency again after they "omitted" to inform you of certain information, though . . .

[Monamie]

We have two kids at our home that we foster and two others we have now gaurdianship and custody of A realy neat bunch of kids who we love very much but we have also had the rat bags and had to throw in the towel and let someone else deal with them so dont feel bad about it sounds like a decision you made wisely
Dont get me started on CYPS or ill not stop until i get thrown off the site

Emmmm CYPS we certainly won't be going into that one.:rolleyes: There aren't enough hours in the day!
Having a heart big enough to even consider being a foster parent makes ALL you foster parents the `best'. There is no such thing as a foster parent who has `failed'.
I take my hat off to you:not:

[chanceyy]

Dont get me started on CYPS or ill not stop until i get thrown off the site

:laugh: that can be arranged :whistle: :nya:

but I hear wot your saying Meanie ... You & monica would know more than most how the system works or in most cases how it does not work ..

[NZsarge]

Having a heart big enough to even consider being a foster parent makes ALL you foster parents the `best'. There is no such thing as a foster parent who has `failed'.
I take my hat off to you

Totally agree, you rock:headbang: for even being up for fostering in the first place! Look after yourself and your son ok...:niceone:

[ynot slow]

You failed? Piss off his folks did that and cyps.You are just trying to install some values,to bad the upstart doesn't,won't listen,and also we can't smack em.:spanking:

You and your family come first,cripes that is hard enough,utmost respect for people trying to help the helpless,some will accept the help others don't care.

The more you try to help kids settle in to your lifestyle,the more your kids can feel alienated,as the percieved care is not shown to your own family.:2thumbsup