The correct way to come home drunk.

[dasser]

Two married guys are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says," You know, I don't what else to do.

Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs,get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds.
I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up, and yells at me for staying out so late!

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach."

I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet, then use the full flush, throw my shoes into the closet, turn on the light,undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the arse and say,
"Who's Horny then ????!!!!"

and....... she acts like she's sound asleep!

It works every time!! :yes:

( so true ... )

[1 Free Man]

Two married buddies were out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says,"you know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late.
His buddy looks at him and says" well your'e obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the stairs, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wifes ass and say,"How about a blow job?" .... and she's always fast asleep."

[Fatjim]

Someone doesn't get this posting thing.

[YellowDog]

There are so few original ones these days.......................

[mujambee]

Dos amigos, casados, están una noche de borrachera cuando uno le dice al otro "Sabes, no sé que más hacer. Siempre que llego a casa después e haber estado de juerga apago los faros antes de llegar a mi calle, apago el motor y dejo que el coche entre solo en el garaje. Antes de entrar en casa me quito los zapatos. Subo las escaleras de puntillas y me desvisto en el baño. Después meto el pie en el vater y me meo por la pierna para evitar ruidos. Entro de puntillas en la habitación y me deslizo en la cama. Aún así, mi mujer se despierta y me echa la bronca por llegar tan tarde!"

Su amigo le mira y dice "Evidentemente estás utilizando una técnica equivocada. Yo entro derrapando en el garaje, cierro de un portazo, subo las escaleras de dos en dos, echo una buena meada en el vater y después le doy a la bomba, tiro mis zapatos en el armario, me desvisto en el dormitorio y después salto en la cama, le doy una palmada en el culo y grito '¿Quién está caliente?' ¡Ella siempre hace como que está profundamente dormida! ¡No falla nunca!

[Marmoot]

Twee gehuwde vrienden drinken uit één nacht, wanneer men aan andere draait en, ' zegt; U weet, I don' het; t weet te doen wat anders. Wanneer ik na we' naar huis ga; ve uit drinkend, zet ik de koplampen uit alvorens ik aan de oprijlaan krijg. Ik zette de motor en de kust in de garage af en neem weg mijn schoenen alvorens ik in het huis ga. Ik neem omhoog de treden heimelijk, en word ongekleed in de badkamers. Dan plak ik mijn voet in het toilet en plas onderaan mijn been om het bespatten geluiden te verhinderen. I tiptoe in de slaapkamer en gemak in bed. Mijn vrouw ontwaakt NOG, en schreeuwt bij me voor het blijven uit zo laat! ' Zijn vriend bekijkt hem en zegt, ' Goed, you' re duidelijk kiezend de verkeerde benadering. I de doordringende kreet in de oprijlaan, slaat de deur, onweer omhoog dicht de stappen, hard in het toiletwater plassen, dan ontkleedt het gebruik de volledige vloed, mijn schoenen in de kast werpt, in de slaapkamer, dan mept de sprong in bed, haar op de ezel en de schreeuw, " WHO' HOORNEN S?????!!! " En zij handelt als she' s correcte in slaap!! Het werkt elke keer!!!

[cc rider]

'n ddau 'n briod guys ydy i maes yn yfed hun nos , pryd chorddir bwygilydd a says , " Adwaenoch , gwisga t beth amgen at gwna. Whenever A addef ar ôl ni ve been i maes yn yfed , Chordda 'r headlights off anad Ca at 'r driveway. Caea off 'r beiriant a hwylio gyda'r tir i mewn i 'r arej. Chymer 'm esgidiau off anad A i mewn i 'r d] , Fi chwiwgi i fyny 'r grisiau get ddiarchenedig i mewn 'r d] bach , daro 'm droedio i mewn 'r doiled a pee i lawr 'm bagl at atal yn tasgu seiniau. Esmwytha i mewn i gorweddfa a 'm gwraig GOSTEGA gwylmabsantau i fyny , a gwawchiau amdana achos yn aros i maes fel 'n ddiweddar! Eiddo buddy dremiau amdano a says , " Bydew , 'ch re 'n amlwg yn cymeryd 'r c agosewch." Fi sgrech i mewn i 'r driveway , chlepia 'r borth , brythwch i fyny 'r camau pee 'n anawdd i mewn i 'r doiled , 'na arfer 'r llonaid cartha , daflu 'm esgidiau i mewn i 'r cell , chordda acha 'r chyneua undress i mewn 'r hystafell wely , 'na naid i mewn i gorweddfa , balfod 'i acha 'r arse a ddeud , " A s Horny 'na????!!!! " and. actia cara hi s blymio yn cysgu!

[TLMAN]

두사 람이 결혼 할 때 친구 중에 하나가 다른 하나의 밤에 마시는 돌아서서하는 말은, "당신도 알다시피, 난 어떻게해야 할지를 몰라했다. 때마다 집에 우리가 마시는 빠져있는 동안, 난 전조등을 해제하기 전에 가야 진입로에 도착했다. 제가 차고에 엔진과 해안 껐더군. 난 내가 집안으로 가기 전에, 난 계단을 올라 몰래, 나 화장실에서 옷을 벗기 내 신발을 벗고. 나는 침대로 손쉽게 내 아내는 여전히 깨어나서 최대 날 늦게까지 일해 줘서 소리 지른다.
그의 친구가 그를보고는 "잘 분명히 잘못된 접근 방식을 택하고. 진입로로 난 서둘렀기, 문, 계단을 폭풍 슬램, 옷장, 침대로 뛰어 들어와서, 내 신발을 던져 내 에 내 손으로 문질러 엉덩이와 말, "어떻게 대해 오랄?".... 그리고 그녀는 항상 빨리 자고있어. "

[Cajun]

두사 람이 결혼 할 때 친구 중에 하나가 다른 하나의 밤에 마시는 돌아서서하는 말은, "당신도 알다시피, 난 어떻게해야 할지를 몰라했다. 때마다 집에 우리가 마시는 빠져있는 동안, 난 전조등을 해제하기 전에 가야 진입로에 도착했다. 제가 차고에 엔진과 해안 껐더군. 난 내가 집안으로 가기 전에, 난 계단을 올라 몰래, 나 화장실에서 옷을 벗기 내 신발을 벗고. 나는 침대로 손쉽게 내 아내는 여전히 깨어나서 최대 날 늦게까지 일해 줘서 소리 지른다.
그의 친구가 그를보고는 "잘 분명히 잘못된 접근 방식을 택하고. 진입로로 난 서둘렀기, 문, 계단을 폭풍 슬램, 옷장, 침대로 뛰어 들어와서, 내 신발을 던져 내 에 내 손으로 문질러 엉덩이와 말, "어떻게 대해 오랄?".... 그리고 그녀는 항상 빨리 자고있어. "


bastard i though someone was spamming the site, with kbspy saw some chinese lettering so was ready to click the 'ban spammer' button

[TLMAN]

bastard i though someone was spamming the site, with kbspy saw some chinese lettering so was ready to click the 'ban spammer' button

Haha its Korean.

[Cajun]

Haha its Korean.

looks all same to me.

[kevfromcoro]

'n ddau 'n briod guys ydy i maes yn yfed hun nos , pryd chorddir bwygilydd a says , " Adwaenoch , gwisga t beth amgen at gwna. Whenever A addef ar ôl ni ve been i maes yn yfed , Chordda 'r headlights off anad Ca at 'r driveway. Caea off 'r beiriant a hwylio gyda'r tir i mewn i 'r arej. Chymer 'm esgidiau off anad A i mewn i 'r d] , Fi chwiwgi i fyny 'r grisiau get ddiarchenedig i mewn 'r d] bach , daro 'm droedio i mewn 'r doiled a pee i lawr 'm bagl at atal yn tasgu seiniau. Esmwytha i mewn i gorweddfa a 'm gwraig GOSTEGA gwylmabsantau i fyny , a gwawchiau amdana achos yn aros i maes fel 'n ddiweddar! Eiddo buddy dremiau amdano a says , " Bydew , 'ch re 'n amlwg yn cymeryd 'r c agosewch." Fi sgrech i mewn i 'r driveway , chlepia 'r borth , brythwch i fyny 'r camau pee 'n anawdd i mewn i 'r doiled , 'na arfer 'r llonaid cartha , daflu 'm esgidiau i mewn i 'r cell , chordda acha 'r chyneua undress i mewn 'r hystafell wely , 'na naid i mewn i gorweddfa , balfod 'i acha 'r arse a ddeud , " A s Horny 'na????!!!! " and. actia cara hi s blymio yn cysgu!

that was a fucken interesting read............................

[cc rider]

that was a fucken interesting read............................

Adds a little something with the translation, don't ya think?? :lol:

[Shadows]

Haha its Korean.


looks all same to me.

I hear it tastes like chicken.

[dasser]

I hear it tastes like chicken.

And smells like fish.

[Clockwork]

I pasted the Spanish and Dutch versions into bable fish.... the translations were funnier than the original joke, can't translate (Welsh?) though.

[cc rider]

I pasted the Spanish and Dutch versions into bable fish.... the translations were funnier than the original joke, can't translate (Welsh?) though.

Here ya go -

' heartburn two ' heartburn spouse guys he is being out drinking self night , meal one churns to the other I go says , " You Know , I dress tower thing differently to do. Whenever I Go confess signs ôl we ve been out drinking , I Churn ' group headlights off before I Have to ' group driveway. Shut off ' group machine I go coast into ' group garage. He takes ' ores boots off before I Go into ' group heartburn ], I sneak up ' group steps get taken off shoes in ' group heartburn ] hook , strike ' ores foot in ' group toilet I go pee down ' ores crutch to stop taxing sounds. I ease into bed I go ' ores woman I SILENCE wakes up , I go yells about because waiting out like ' heartburn recent! His red sights about I go says , " Well , ' dogs stud ' heartburn obvious taking ' group dogs you draw near." I screech into ' group driveway , I clap ' group aid , storm up ' group steps pee ' heartburn hard into ' group toilet , ' I do use ' group fill I cleanse , throw ' ores boots into ' group cell , I churn astride ' group I kindle undress in ' group bedroom , ' I do he jumps into bed , smack ' I astride ' group arse I go say , " I Go sound ppoint ' I do????!!!! and. I act I love she sound plumb sleeping!

:bleh:

[EJK]

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[EJK]

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[cc rider]

00100001

luv it when you talk dirty, baby. Oh! Sorry miss-read joke! :o :p