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View Full Version : Need a laugh? Have a good tale to tell?



digisol
17th August 2007, 20:44
Everyone has seen that group of people who should never touch anything mechanical.
Some years back I sold a 250 yamaha roadie, bought cheap for a quick profit, the bike is nothing all that simple for a 250, it's 4cyl 16V DOHC 4carb thing that did a zillion rpm, most know the full fairing beast.
I sold it in very good condition, stock with no problems, the know it all "I know bikes" buyer stacked it the very first night so he was going to learn the hard way.
A week later he said the gearbox was stuffed and wanted me to inspect it, in a hint I gathered he wanted his cash back, sure there was a nasty noise but a quick look around saw a highly polished, very dry chain that grabbed on each tooth as it rolled, the required oil applied and the damaged gearbox was fixed, simply mechanical genius on my part.
Now I watched this 32 year old fool play with everything until he eventually wandered over and asked for a lend of my grease gun, "NP what ya need it for" ? "the front disks are noisy" so I bit my tongue and watched the mechanic go to work silencing a perfectly good brake system, sure enuf he comes back and tells me the grease nipples are blocked ! "ummm what grease nipples" ? "the one on each caliper" of course I had to tell him they were not grease nipples but were brake bleeders.
By now you have the joke and I did everything not to ROTFLMAO, but this bloke was dead serious and he had to silence these disks one way or another, most know that disk brakes occasionally squeel under hard braking.
This happens and it's not a fault, a softer pad change usually does the job, so now educated in bleeding nipples V grease nipples he was on a mission to now RP7 the disks where I had to step in and stop the insanity.
The rest is history, the bike after a few more serious scrapes down the road ended in pieces never to work again.
But this episode shows that some people are just not meant to ride bikes or cars and should never touch tools or drive anything more complicated than a trycycle.
True story BTW

merv
17th August 2007, 20:49
I see your up to your second post. Welcome aboard Aussie. I presume you are from there living in Yeppoon now.

Terminated
17th August 2007, 20:54
Welcome aboard Aussie.

Thank goodness I am not alone, welcome aboard mate.:scooter:

Merv must be your shout.:innocent:

Heads Up and Enjoy
Expat [Sydney]

JimO
17th August 2007, 21:18
not bike related but a mate had his boat at Wanaka at xmas and it gets real busy on the ramps with ques of boats coming and going , so any way he takes some guys out fishing they load up and back it into the drink the g/f un hooks them and drives off as the boat drifts off they try for about 20 mins to start it but no go, now this guy is a pretty experienced boatie and he is getting worked up so eventually they get a push into the ramp he loads the boat back on the trailor and next day takes it into the local boat shop. The boat shop guy gets the story about how the bloody thing wont go, so he jumps up and flicks the kill switch up and hey presto it works.......funny eh!

Katman
17th August 2007, 21:24
Yeah, fuckin' hilarious jim. Go tell it on Kiwi Boater.:msn-wink:

deanohit
17th August 2007, 21:26
Ha, 1 time the mechanic serviced my bike and when I came to pick it up he decided to start it for me to show how well it was running. Well, it wouldnt start, hetried heaps of things until I pointed out the kill switch was off=1 very embaressed mechanic. Same thing happened with a mechanic fixing my boat as well.

And cool story Digisol, seen a guy put crc on the disks of his mountain bike once because they gripped too hard for his liking.

Insanity_rules
30th August 2007, 18:27
There is a certain darwinian principle to letting know it alls work on their own rides. I'm not a bike mechanic by any stretch but I've had experienced a few of these turkeys in my riding life, like the brain surgeon who armour alled his tyres.

Was hard to keep a straight face!

TLMAN
30th August 2007, 19:28
I remember one day many years ago after i had just washed my first bike (SR250) i decided to spray some silicone round the tyres to make them black and shiny.
I soon learnt all about how much I had fu@#ed up the first time it rained and I binned it on a roundabout.
The mechanic that fixed her up picked up on what I had done and had a good old laugh at my expense. :lol::lol:

Deviant
9th September 2007, 13:38
I'm one of those people who don't know stuff all, but I have the sense to keeps my hands off what I don't understand and ask questions from more experienced people.

I've seen a guy get confused and pour a whole 5 litre container of ... can't remember what it was, oil or brake fluid or something? into the fuel tank of a houseboat we were working on for a "friend". The guy had been a bit of a knob all day, then refused to pay us, and when his boat's engine died 2 days later I had a good laugh about it! It cost him more than both our expected wages for the day.

I guess it was karma!

Or perhaps karma made him refuse to pay us because of Dave's error and me keeping my mouth shut?

Anyway, Dave got dumb and bragged about it at the local pub, then the boat owner Terry(?) turned up later and heard about it. He caught Dave passed out drunk at a friend's place up the road and beat the shit out of him pretty badly.

I was only 14-15, it was a pretty messed up situation I didn't know how to handle, and Dave was in his 20's so when he told me to keep quiet I decided to stay out of it.

This was back in Aussie, Morgan on the Murray River SA, my home country too :)

deanohit
9th September 2007, 13:44
That why your in nz now mate? =)

delusionz
12th September 2007, 08:20
Everyone does stupid shit, fuckin' funny though