Ex's partner

[Grahameeboy]

Well Police Action 1 seems to have vanished so to continue the saga.

Ring up Rehab Services for update on repairs to wheelchair. Yep should be fixed Friday so ask them to deliver to my house as I have Nats.

Ask ex for the battery charger which was not dropped off last night. No answer so left a message.

Get a call this am from Technician. Got a problem he says.....I knew it was not about wheelchair repairs...ex's partner has called us this am and told us to deliver ther wheelchair on Monday......remember it will be fixed Friday and obviously Nats needs her powered wheelchair........geeze.

Anyway they agree to deliver to my place. Problem is I don't have battery charge and if I ask for it I alert cave man to facts......Technician says we can make sure wheelchair is charged for you when we deliver.....bit more discussion and they have located a charger that is surplus to requirements...excellent.

After dropping Nats of at Kindy, go home to collect bike to go to work.....guess who drives past? If you knew my road, it is pretty obvious he was checking on me as he knows my movements with Kindy etc...so I do a quick recky around the block and he is no where to be seen so obviously he was not doing a job near me was he.

What a selfish git....his name is xxxxxx xxxxxx and he owns xxxxxxx...anyone know him?.....sorry don't care about naming him.

Anyway, looked up on internet....discovered I can issue my own written warning under Trespass Act so have delivered to him and will fax copy to Takapuna Police tomorrow..stuff 'im.

Apart from this I had a wonderful day.

[Stickchick]

Why does guy appear to be stalking you?

[Grahameeboy]

Why does guy appear to be stalking you?

Can you elaborate.

Previously he parked outside my house..he was no where to be seen...it was same time as today...I went to work and he was following me in another vehicle....

[Colapop]

Have you been drinking again?

[Grahameeboy]

Have you been drinking again?

Nop, don't drink.............so afraid I am sober?

[Maha]

Can you elaborate.

Previously he parked outside my house..he was no where to be seen...it was same time as today...I went to work and he was following me in another vehicle....

He may only want to mow your lawns....or worse, resow it.....:crazy:

[Colapop]

O i C ... are you afraid to be sober?


On a more serious note. Just do as you have done - issue a trespass notice. Have you spoken to the ex and asked her what's going on? Assuming that you two are speaking...

[Grahameeboy]

You are all cheeky gits...this is serious ya know.

Sadly I take a measured approach to this crap.........bugger....

[Grahameeboy]

O i C ... are you afraid to be sober?


On a more serious note. Just do as you have done - issue a trespass notice. Have you spoken to the ex and asked her what's going on? Assuming that you two are speaking...

Nop, I am worse sober........

Nah, she doesn't talk to me.....I have left a message......this has been the whole problem for 2 years in that she just does not share stuff about Nats issues with me so we can be consistent, cancels medical appointments without consulting with me etc etc....the more I stand up to her the worse she gets but although I hate all this stuff, I am doing right thing which is the main thing.........stupid thing is I don't hate her, resent her etc..yep she is fricking frustrating and I am actually worried about her and whether Steve may take it out on her.....

Nats has a bowel issue and I have been leaving message for her to call me to talk about it without success.

Oh to be popular.

[Colapop]

Is there someone who can be third party mediator?

[Grub]

Of course it's serious. You can apply to the family court for an ex-parte non-molestation (or whatever the new name is) order I think. You may also get one via Police but I can't remember. Local community law centre can tell you on the phone.

That order prevents him from interferring in your life in any way whatsoever and includes phone calls, drive-bys, entering your street, parking outside your house or place of work and forbids him (& her if you have to) from calling people like the wheelchair centre about something you are doing.

[Grahameeboy]

Is there someone who can be third party mediator?

Tried that, was told, ignores..even broke the custody agreement once and refused to bring Nats back...had do do some London white lies to get Nats back...........it was only once but still.

She just wants her own way. Even when discussing the custody 2 years ago the Mediator had a hard time explaining that the week had to be split.

[peasea]

Tried that, was told, ignores..even broke the custody agreement once and refused to bring Nats back...had do do some London white lies to get Nats back...........it was only once but still.

She just wants her own way. Even when discussing the custody 2 years ago the Mediator had a hard time explaining that the week had to be split.


It sounds like you're really copping some crap. Keep your head down and as I've said before, take notes; they're digging their own grave. It might take time but hang in there. Also, is there anyone who'd be prepared to 'live in' for a few weeks, just to add some fodder?

[Grahameeboy]

It sounds like you're really copping some crap. Keep your head down and as I've said before, take notes; they're digging their own grave. It might take time but hang in there. Also, is there anyone who'd be prepared to 'live in' for a few weeks, just to add some fodder?

Been like this for 2 years just another dimention with Cave Man in the frame.

I have kept notes and have decided that I am unpopular so have gone down the Police route........took me over a year to change locks even though ex would come in and take stuff without telling me...just small things...when I change locks I felt better despite ex saying she would break in etc...of course it never happened but Cave Man is a different animal so need to take a harder approach.

Some things take time to sort out as it leave a trail....:sunny:

Your profile picture...is that Devonport Wharf?

[Fatjim]

Sad to hear of your problems mate.

On a side note, if you want to piss someone off write offensive words on their lawn with fertilizer.

[Grahameeboy]

Well Mr Cave Man waving his toys again.

I served him with a Trespass Warning last night......took Nats to Dr's as she had a cough and with her condition etc....told ex......Steve was parked outside Dr's.

Get to work. Boss wants a word. Steve called work yesterday after I service warning and made ridiculous allegations......I had been upfront about things so work not worried as it does not impact on work but sounds like he was a bit abusive and the Manager who took call doesn't want to talk to him again.

Ex did the same a few months ago the first time I invlved the Police.....

I am thinking of sending him a shovel to help his digging.....:beer:

[007XX]

That really, really sucks...I feel mighty pissed off for you and Nat:angry2:...fat lot of good it does, i realise that...But if there is anything I can do to help, don't hesitate to say.

[Patrick]

Of course it's serious. You can apply to the family court for an ex-parte non-molestation (or whatever the new name is) order I think. You may also get one via Police but I can't remember. Local community law centre can tell you on the phone.

That order prevents him from interferring in your life in any way whatsoever and includes phone calls, drive-bys, entering your street, parking outside your house or place of work and forbids him (& her if you have to) from calling people like the wheelchair centre about something you are doing.

Well worth looking into Graham... means he can't ring, write letters, drive by or even be in the same shop if you are there (within reason...) and all of the above. Keep the bosses on side and advised... Would be worth discussing Criminal Harrassment as well...


It sounds like you're really copping some crap. Keep your head down and as I've said before, take notes; they're digging their own grave. It might take time but hang in there. Also, is there anyone who'd be prepared to 'live in' for a few weeks, just to add some fodder?

Keep a record of times, place, regos, etc for his visits and also for his phone calls, even to work if poss... Present all of it to the Ex and if she won't sort it out and see it for what it is, you're building a solid case for custody of Nats???

[Paul in NZ]

Patrick makes a good point. Often a court case comes down to believability and the side with the best objective evidence stands a better chance.

Above all - make sure you are not inciting this by doing daft things like sending him a shovel!!!!

[avgas]

As in these guys?
http://www.lawncare.co.nz/index.html
DOS anyone im not good enough
Anyhow - Do we need a big KB mob to tell Cave man where it stands? Cos I'd be into that.
People that mess with Kids in the middle don't deserve to walk in my mind.
I hope that your ex-partner can get over herself. As she sounds like a selfish bitch.:oi-grr:
At the end of the day ya kid comes first.
Cave man should but the fuck out and fuck off. 3rd parties are as helpful as broken spokes.
Shit im all wound up now. Whats this pricks address and license plate/vehicle.
Fucken assholes

[ManDownUnder]

Grahame... stop by anytime man - you know where I am. Come and let your hair down - hell... I'm due to part with mine... help yerself!

re Nats... slowly but surely man...
Build the case and don't put a foot out of place. Turning the other cheek ain't goin to help on this one though. It's Nats' cheek too and to have her caught in the crossfire just sucks.

A couple of things. Stay safe. No matter what happens - make sure you and Nats have immediate safe haven. I hope it doesn't come to it but you know where I live - if you show up at 2:00 with a car fuill of gear... you're welcome to stay... we have some very "handy" neighbours too and if a tractor happened to get parked on a certain one way bridge - ain't no way anyone is going to drive in (or possibly leave).

Take the name of the caveman off here too. I'm sure it breaching some privacy laws, possibly sedicious etc. Keep your nose clean (painful I know).

Now for the fireworks. Escalate this as far and fast as you can. You need a strategy laid out before you so you're not just planning the next step - you need the whole game plan in your head so any reactions are reasonabl anticipated, and you're ready.

Trespass Orders are a great start. You need to be safe, Nats needs to be safe and Caveman needs to know where the limits are. He needs to see them enforced too. What would he do if the cops hauled him over the coals for something - take it and learn or escalate it? If he escalates it see if he's willing to do it at a time when you have friends over for dinner. I know a Marine that LOVES cups of tea.

Keep that diary going - good stuff.

Strange q - does Caveman have any priors for assault or drugs? Anything like that? Sounds like the kind of guy to do so... and if he's a danger to Nats - that's got to be the #1 concern.

Last... and this is insulting but... are you being reasonable? Is there a way throught his where you can have an extra power supply or chair or... etc. If life is easy for Nats and you it's got to be a good thing.

[Toaster]

Stick claymores on your front lawn.... fabulous for getting them pesky possums too.

Red Mist baby yeah!

[DMNTD]

I'm usually one of the first to whack some fuck knuckle like this however what Patrick(and others) have suggested and what you are already doing is the right way to go about it.

I've Heke'd 2 of my X's boyfriends due to similar but more "assertive" situations and despite the fact that it worked due to severity of said Heke's and their understanding that I'd return,it just made things harder in the long run and lets face it it's immature and what would the kids think?

You're doing extremely well G...keep it up and stay strong man. ;)

[Finn]

Excuse the punn G, but aren't you being a bit of a drama queen?

Besides, Steve Reeves should have a spare powered wheelchair that his brother Christopher left behind.

[Grahameeboy]

Grahame... stop by anytime man - you know where I am. Come and let your hair down - hell... I'm due to part with mine... help yerself!

re Nats... slowly but surely man...
Build the case and don't put a foot out of place. Turning the other cheek ain't goin to help on this one though. It's Nats' cheek too and to have her caught in the crossfire just sucks.

A couple of things. Stay safe. No matter what happens - make sure you and Nats have immediate safe haven. I hope it doesn't come to it but you know where I live - if you show up at 2:00 with a car fuill of gear... you're welcome to stay... we have some very "handy" neighbours too and if a tractor happened to get parked on a certain one way bridge - ain't no way anyone is going to drive in (or possibly leave).

Take the name of the caveman off here too. I'm sure it breaching some privacy laws, possibly sedicious etc. Keep your nose clean (painful I know).

Now for the fireworks. Escalate this as far and fast as you can. You need a strategy laid out before you so you're not just planning the next step - you need the whole game plan in your head so any reactions are reasonabl anticipated, and you're ready.

Trespass Orders are a great start. You need to be safe, Nats needs to be safe and Caveman needs to know where the limits are. He needs to see them enforced too. What would he do if the cops hauled him over the coals for something - take it and learn or escalate it? If he escalates it see if he's willing to do it at a time when you have friends over for dinner. I know a Marine that LOVES cups of tea.

Keep that diary going - good stuff.

Strange q - does Caveman have any priors for assault or drugs? Anything like that? Sounds like the kind of guy to do so... and if he's a danger to Nats - that's got to be the #1 concern.

Last... and this is insulting but... are you being reasonable? Is there a way throught his where you can have an extra power supply or chair or... etc. If life is easy for Nats and you it's got to be a good thing.

Noted and xx'd.

Wheelchair costs $40,000.....I have spare charger now....so no chance of a spare chair..........

Always reasonable..only way to be......

Thanks for other offers....luckily he only harrases when Nats is not there but if he did it when Nats was there then PC would go out of window......I still have my Boken from Aikido.......

[Grahameeboy]

Of course it's serious. You can apply to the family court for an ex-parte non-molestation (or whatever the new name is) order I think. You may also get one via Police but I can't remember. Local community law centre can tell you on the phone.

That order prevents him from interferring in your life in any way whatsoever and includes phone calls, drive-bys, entering your street, parking outside your house or place of work and forbids him (& her if you have to) from calling people like the wheelchair centre about something you are doing.

Cheers Grub...will look into that cause time to use the Law now I reckon....he should know never to mess with London Boys..........

[Grahameeboy]

Excuse the punn G, but aren't you being a bit of a drama queen?

Besides, Steve Reeves should have a spare powered wheelchair that his brother Christopher left behind.

Yep thanks for your input Finn....don't call us we will call you.....:headbang:

[Grahameeboy]

Well worth looking into Graham... means he can't ring, write letters, drive by or even be in the same shop if you are there (within reason...) and all of the above. Keep the bosses on side and advised... Would be worth discussing Criminal Harrassment as well...



Keep a record of times, place, regos, etc for his visits and also for his phone calls, even to work if poss... Present all of it to the Ex and if she won't sort it out and see it for what it is, you're building a solid case for custody of Nats???

I have equal shared custody and I know what you will say but I don't want to tear Nats away from Kate either......she has also gone through a lot with Nats diagnosis......hard one eh.

[avgas]

Caveman cant drive very far with flat tyres. Still wanting that plate number/vehicle type. Im going for a ride tomorrow night round 1-2am anyhow.

[Grahameeboy]

Caveman cant drive very far with flat tyres. Still wanting that plate number/vehicle type. Im going for a ride tomorrow night round 1-2am anyhow.

No, 2 wrongs and all that...........request made to refrain.

Problem is he will immediatley think it had something to do with me.

The right way will prevail. I have got this far after 2 years and not been beaten down yet.

[ManDownUnder]

The right way will prevail. I have got this far after 2 years and not been beaten down yet.


and 2 years of patience is a lot to lose on one throw of the dice.. no matter how good it would feel (and let's face it... it WOULD be nice!)

[avgas]

The right way will prevail. I have got this far after 2 years and not been beaten down yet.
Yeh that is true - misfortune will crash like a house of cards when their time comes.
Also everyday you see your daughter - we only live for so many days so right now they are removing the days they don't get to see her.
I still wish that i could control lightning so i could make a few people i know the .4% of death related to lightning.
Thankfully i know all ready that some are heading down that track as i speak.

[inlinefour]

Well Police Action 1 seems to have vanished so to continue the saga.

Ring up Rehab Services for update on repairs to wheelchair. Yep should be fixed Friday so ask them to deliver to my house as I have Nats.

Ask ex for the battery charger which was not dropped off last night. No answer so left a message.

Get a call this am from Technician. Got a problem he says.....I knew it was not about wheelchair repairs...ex's partner has called us this am and told us to deliver ther wheelchair on Monday......remember it will be fixed Friday and obviously Nats needs her powered wheelchair........geeze.

Anyway they agree to deliver to my place. Problem is I don't have battery charge and if I ask for it I alert cave man to facts......Technician says we can make sure wheelchair is charged for you when we deliver.....bit more discussion and they have located a charger that is surplus to requirements...excellent.

After dropping Nats of at Kindy, go home to collect bike to go to work.....guess who drives past? If you knew my road, it is pretty obvious he was checking on me as he knows my movements with Kindy etc...so I do a quick recky around the block and he is no where to be seen so obviously he was not doing a job near me was he.

What a selfish git....his name is xxxxxx xxxxxx and he owns xxxxxxx...anyone know him?.....sorry don't care about naming him.

Anyway, looked up on internet....discovered I can issue my own written warning under Trespass Act so have delivered to him and will fax copy to Takapuna Police tomorrow..stuff 'im.

Apart from this I had a wonderful day.

My ex-wife played our son against me many years ago. Funny thing is that it was not until several years after we had seperated, but not until she had found out that I was with another woman that the ex started to go ferral. She tried a different tact, by attempting to take me through court, at a rather large cost to me to try to remove my right to see my son. Now after several months and thousands of dollars, two days before it was all due to goto court, she withdrew it all. Leaving me quite possibly with a stomach ulcer and much lighter in the pocket. The funniest thing though is that now my boy is starting to see things more the way that they are and now that I've parted company with Coaster after breaking my back, low and behold the ex is wanting to get chummy again? Dunno about the rest of you, but my memory is a tad better than that. How does that apply to you Grahameeboy? Just like it has to me, it will go full cycle and you will also reep the rewards. There was plenty a day and night that I spent banging my head against the wall wondering why. Its a matter of wading though the B/S and getting out on the other side. The truth will allways prevail and the liars will eventually be seen for exactly what they are, arseholes.:mad:

[Grahameeboy]

My ex-wife played our son against me many years ago. Funny thing is that it was not until several years after we had seperated, but not until she had found out that I was with another woman that the ex started to go ferral. She tried a different tact, by attempting to take me through court, at a rather large cost to me to try to remove my right to see my son. Now after several months and thousands of dollars, two days before it was all due to goto court, she withdrew it all. Leaving me quite possibly with a stomach ulcer and much lighter in the pocket. The funniest thing though is that now my boy is starting to see things more the way that they are and now that I've parted company with Coaster after breaking my back, low and behold the ex is wanting to get chummy again? Dunno about the rest of you, but my memory is a tad better than that. How does that apply to you Grahameeboy? Just like it has to me, it will go full cycle and you will also reep the rewards. There was plenty a day and night that I spent banging my head against the wall wondering why. Its a matter of wading though the B/S and getting out on the other side. The truth will allways prevail and the liars will eventually be seen for exactly what they are, arseholes.:mad:

Ex just does not share Nats issues with me whereas I do and she just is not interested. She has manipulated appointments eg cancelled them without telling me.

Since moving in with new partner, things have got worse. Nats is not allowed to take a toy there etc.....new Partner has started to create as you can see and conflict has arisen because they don't want certain equipment because I just happened to receive it..he is just insecure.

I have tried to tell Kate that our differences have to be put aside for Nats.....I have not resentment because she wanted another child who was 'Normal' (almost impossible for us) and thought an affair was greener..it wasn't. We only have conflict due to Nats special circumstances which require a joint effort.

Today I called her several times as I took Nats to Dr's. She texted late pm me asking me to text her. I said "No" we need to talk..she called, I told her..and she asked me why I could not have text her and I just told her that we needed to talk about these things..........in a grumpy voice "can I talk to Nats"...she did her usual fishing to make sure she was in Stander etc.

Obviously recent events with cave man have pissed her off......tough I say, I have to do what I have to do and it is not me instigating, I am simply participating....I just cannot turn the other cheek.....

I do have a girlfriend......shock horror, gayboy has a girlfriend.....but Kate does not know as she knows her and really it is not her business...my folks don't know cause my Dad is a racist and she is London born Nigerian and it is not worth the grief..it is my life..sad but that is the way it is.

I am not perfect, however, ex is not doing what is right and her partner is just digging a whole for himself cause he thinks he can bully me.......he doesn't know me so does not realise that Nats comes first and she deserves a Dad who fights these battles so nothing he can do will change me and despite my demeanor, if he ever hurt Nats (and even Kate) he would know what bikers represent............he likes lawns so he is simply sowing the seeds of his destiny right now.

[Patrick]

Don't be afraid about texting and keeping a record of them. Its what we did over our tenant problem and it has been an absolutely awesome "weapon."

If she is being unreasonable it will show in the texts. If he is butting in and abusing you via text too, there is a record... Note the time and date and the text content, and then your "calm and reasoned" response...

It is hard to understand why she is doing all this (Cancelling appointments etc) and if you keep a record...:niceone:

What you do with this record is of course up to you, but if she is being deliberately irresponsible or just plain nasty, I know what I would do, whether or not she went through the traumas you have had with Nats...

Good luck.

[Grahameeboy]

Don't be afraid about texting and keeping a record of them. Its what we did over our tenant problem and it has been an absolutely awesome "weapon."

If she is being unreasonable it will show in the texts. If he is butting in and abusing you via text too, there is a record... Note the time and date and the text content, and then your "calm and reasoned" response...

It is hard to understand why she is doing all this (Cancelling appointments etc) and if you keep a record...:niceone:

What you do with this record is of course up to you, but if she is being deliberately irresponsible or just plain nasty, I know what I would do, whether or not she went through the traumas you have had with Nats...

Good luck.

I have kept his original texts that lead to first Police report just decided that he needed to be told.

Ex, agree if she will not talk then at least I have texts. Just trying to get dialogue going and would rather not have to get evidence if that makes sense.

Partner is main worry which is why I have taken action.

I have never sworn etc at him. Worse I said he was being selfish a while back.

He is a bugger, the backup chair folds in for easy storage and after he had it it doesn't so he must have done something to it........geeze.

But I have the powered chair back despite his attempts to divert this.

Ah well all good fun and off to Motat to take Miss Speedy later.

[Patrick]

Ah well all good fun and off to Motat to take Miss Speedy later.

And isn't that what it is all about? Sunny days up your parts? ENJOY!!!!

[Scouse]

Have you stopped to think for one moment that maybee you have contributed to the situation your self by being your self I have noticed since being on KB you seem to have a habit of rubbing people up the wrong way and when people point this out to you, you start claiming to be hollier than thou.

[Rhino]

Have you stopped to think for one moment that maybee you have contributed to the situation your self by being your self I have noticed since being on KB you seem to have a habit of rubbing people up the wrong way and when people point this out to you, you start claiming to be hollier than thou.
If you have ever met Graham, you will know that he is a very pleasant and honest guy, who absolutely dotes on Nats.

Hang in there Graham. As others have said, play it by the rules and make sure you have good solid evidence if any Family Court/Police intervention is required.

[007XX]

Have you stopped to think for one moment that maybee you have contributed to the situation your self by being your self I have noticed since being on KB you seem to have a habit of rubbing people up the wrong way and when people point this out to you, you start claiming to be hollier than thou.

Well...if that was meant as a stirring, for once, I'll take the bait...

a) do you know Graham personally?
b) since when is KB in any way demonstrating what kind of parent we are?

The little I do know of Grahameeboy is that he is a very caring father, dedicated to making things work for Nats...and yes, a stirrer on line, but a funny one.

Talking about rubbing people the wrong way, I once misunderstood what Grahameeboy posted back to me, and after I PM'd him to clarify, he was more than happy to tell me he'd just been pulling my chain...

Now, if you got offended by something he said, don't take it out on him in this thread...this is about him, and his daughter struggling...and any help or advice we can give him to assist with the situation...

And you're not helping...

[BIGBOSSMAN]

Was nice to meet you today at Mt Eden M/C Graham, see you out on the road, eh! :chase:

[Colapop]

Chin up G. I help if you want me to - I'll bring my own chicken...

[Scouse]

If you have ever met Graham, you will know that he is a very pleasant and honest guy, who absolutely dotes on Nats.

Hang in there Graham. As others have said, play it by the rules and make sure you have good solid evidence if any Family Court/Police intervention is required.Yes I have met graham in real life and I am able to conferm that he is in real life as big a nob end as he is online


Well...if that was meant as a stirring, for once, I'll take the bait...

a) do you know Graham personally?Well er I have been on bike rides with graham more than once or twice


b) since when is KB in any way demonstrating what kind of parent we are?Oh did I say it was?


The little I do know of Grahameeboy is that he is a very caring father, dedicated to making things work for Nats...and yes, a stirrer on line, but a funny one.Exactly the little you do know


Talking about rubbing people the wrong way, I once misunderstood what Grahameeboy posted back to me, and after I PM'd him to clarify, he was more than happy to tell me he'd just been pulling my chain...

Now, if you got offended by something he said, don't take it out on him in this thread...this is about him, and his daughter struggling...and any help or advice we can give him to assist with the situation...

And you're not helping...Funny that a lot of the time his posts don't help so "quid pro quo"

[Winston001]

Have you stopped to think for one moment that maybee you have contributed to the situation your self by being your self I have noticed since being on KB you seem to have a habit of rubbing people up the wrong way and when people point this out to you, you start claiming to be hollier than thou.

I'd red rep but would rather say my piece in public. No-one is perfect but a person like Graham who loves and cherishes his disabled daughter is pretty high on my list of admirable people.

[ynot slow]

Never met grahame but for what it's worth,after splitting and if you have kids they are all that matters,what sort of dad would he be if he DIDN'T care for his daughter,my hats off to him,most would have spat the dummy and bollocked the ex new guy,and /or the ex,shit we have enough knuckle dragging morons in this world who DON'T fucken care about their kids,put them in dryers,clothes lines and smash the shit out of them,all most kids want is LOVE,unforteunately their parents can't fathom that out,yet said parents manage to get pregnant.:shutup:

[avgas]

A cornered wolf always protects its wounded side

[007XX]

Yes I have met graham in real life and I am able to conferm that he is in real life as big a nob end as he is online

Well er I have been on bike rides with graham more than once or twice
Oh did I say it was?
Exactly the little you do know
Funny that a lot of the time his posts don't help so "quid pro quo"

I will not turn this thread into an argument between you and I,as I'd much rather have this conversation face to face...
So for now, contribute to this thread or stay away...




I'd red rep but would rather say my piece in public. No-one is perfect but a person like Graham who loves and cherishes his disabled daughter is pretty high on my list of admirable people.

:rockon:

[Grahameeboy]

Have you stopped to think for one moment that maybee you have contributed to the situation your self by being your self I have noticed since being on KB you seem to have a habit of rubbing people up the wrong way and when people point this out to you, you start claiming to be hollier than thou.

Firstly, I have no gripes with you even though you do with me......how you feel is from within and I did pm you at the time and apologise which I did not have to do.

You know I troll. I explained that in my pm to you.

You have the choice to get rubbed up or not. I rarely get red repped and at the end of the day I am not gonna please everyone all the time.....the attachment shows a green rep from you.

I am sure I do rub him up the wrong way which I would not do if I did not stand up for my rights as Nats Father.......I could take the easier route and not care and I do not enjoy the conflict but I have to do what I believe is right.

Yesterday he called my work again and made allegations that I was harrasing ex. All I did was leave 2 messages to call me about Nats because I had taken her to the Dr's.....I could have texted but am trying to open up communication.

Last night he visited me again. Used a 12 foot piece of wood to bang on the door so he did not have to step on my property. I was in bed, kept quiet hoping he would go away. He then sat in his van. Called the Police....it was that loud that a neighbour had words with him so 4 cops turned up.

This was his choice not mine. I had done nothing to encourage him....he had tried calling me but I had told ex that I would ignore his calls and delete any messages without listening. I guess she had not told him.

The Police agreed with my approach.

You don't really know me and I don't really know you. However, I respect how you feel so guess all we can do is move on and on the next ride I am still happy to shout you a beer.

Despite being a Christian I am not perfect or "holier than thou"....all we can do is wake up each morning and try eh?

In a funny way I take you calling me a nob as a compliment.

[ManDownUnder]

Last night he visited me again. Used a 12 foot piece of wood to bang on the door so he did not have to step on my property. I was in bed, kept quiet hoping he would go away. He then sat in his van. Called the Police....it was that loud that a neighbour had words with him so 4 cops turned up.

This was his choice not mine. I had done nothing to encourage him....he had tried calling me but I had told ex that I would ignore his calls and delete any messages without listening. I guess she had not told him.

The Police agreed with my approach.


Umm.... he showed up with a piece of wood? And used it as an agent to frustrate whatever orders you have in place? I'd be back in court asking them to extend it to a street level protection, and no phone calls texts or emails too.

Tis harrassment that is - if nothing else. The words "offensive weapon" come to mind too... as do the words "Wiley as a serpent and innocent as the Dove".

I'll bet the ex told him, he ignored her. Escalate this - again. Little by little... don't take the crap. Every time he does something stupid he needs to pay for it... but properly. Have the cops charge him with whatever they can.

At the end of the day you know where I live - there's a safe bed there for you and yourts if needed. He's not going to win...

[Grahameeboy]

Umm.... he showed up with a piece of wood? And used it as an agent to frustrate whatever orders you have in place? I'd be back in court asking them to extend it to a street level protection, and no phone calls texts or emails too.

Tis harrassment that is - if nothing else. The words "offensive weapon" come to mind too... as do the words "Wiley as a serpent and innocent as the Dove".

I'll bet the ex told him, he ignored her. Escalate this - again. Little by little... don't take the crap. Every time he does something stupid he needs to pay for it... but properly. Have the cops charge him with whatever they can.

At the end of the day you know where I live - there's a safe bed there for you and yourts if needed. He's not going to win...

Well I have kept notes since the Trespass Warning (it is something you can do without going to Court) and told Police if he does it again then I will have to press charges plus the Warning is valid in the eyes of the Law and there are already 4 notes since Friday.

I think they gave him a good talking too....as he left he shouted "Thanks Graham".

I cannot do much to change his view of me but I can try and send him the message to change his actions...well try anyway and he has really left me no choice but to involve the Police.......not that he sees that.

Nats is never with me when he does this so just little old me in the house.

I can be as stubborn as when it matters (once a decade normally) and there is a London term "you put them up and I will knock 'em down".............

The thing is he dislikes me which fuels him....I don't dislike him and although he is wrong I understand why he is doing this so I will always have the upper hand........I am a frustrating git.....:innocent:

[007XX]

I am a frustrating git.....:innocent:

You may be frustrating, but we like you anyway...:hug:

All that aside, no matter how frustrating anyone might find you, that is no justification for such a behaviour as the ex's bully is performing.

Now way, no how is it ever acceptable and/or should be permissible.

No one should stand for being treated like this.

[ManDownUnder]

I can be as stubborn as when it matters (once a decade normally) and there is a London term "you put them up and I will knock 'em down".............

The thing is he dislikes me which fuels him....I don't dislike him and although he is wrong I understand why he is doing this so I will always have the upper hand........I am a frustrating git.....:innocent:

LOL me too mate - me too. Headstrong is a term I have become familiar with over the years. I like stubborn - I do stubborn well... and when used properly it works very very nicely thank you.

I also have a saying - a leopard can't change it's spots. He'll be back - put money on it. And he'll have another creative solution to frustrate the order(s) in place... and you'll need to stay safe, and call the cops.

[insane1]

LOL me too mate - me too. Headstrong is a term I have become familiar with over the years. I like stubborn - I do stubborn well... and when used properly it works very very nicely thank you.

I also have a saying - a leopard can't change it's spots. He'll be back - put money on it. And he'll have another creative solution to frustrate the order(s) in place... and you'll need to stay safe, and call the cops.
you may be frustrating grahameeboy but your one of us and we do what ever we can to look after our own whatever it takes .

[Grahameeboy]

Geeze he is nothing but consistent.

Rehab Services called him following my call to find out about the fault wheelchair.

He refused to say what the problem was, other than the wheelchair did not work and told the Technician that it was not his problem and that it was mine as I get Nats tonight.

The technician said he was not a nice person to talk to.

So Nats is without her mobility for longer than necessary.

Anyway, noted for future reference.

The stupid thing is hat he is not actually helping ex's case if and when this ends up in the Family Court.

[ManDownUnder]

The stupid thing is hat he is not actually helping ex's case if and when this ends up in the Family Court.

... sigh... yup. Patience and Karma dude. Poor Nats suffering in the middle of it though...

[007XX]

Where's me freakin' drat of a magic wand???:angry2::argh:

make that busta disappear in a cloud o' smoke, I would!

[peasea]

What about a gun?

[Grahameeboy]

Well will keep this brief as more important things on our minds today.

Ex served me with Application for Full Custody citing various things which are either not true or a twist on what happened with no hard evidence.

Cannot afford a Lawyer but have a friend at Church who is a Family Lawyer who is giving me advice.

Have had shared custody since June 2005 so not fair on Nats.

Let battle begin and if anyone has been through this experience before would be happy to hear from you.

Nuff said.

[Stickchick]

Dude that seriously sucks and you are right its not fair on Nats. Good luck with your battle mate

[deanohit]

Good luck mate!

[jrandom]

What about a gun?

Graham just has to say the word.

;)

And you'll be fine, G. Fortunately, the courts don't allow people to benefit from spewing random vindictive nonsense. The ex will be put in her place.

Hey, at least she's an ex. I hate to think what your life would be like right now if she was still hanging around. Silver linings, old bean.

[Grahameeboy]

Graham just has to say the word.

;)

And you'll be fine, G. Fortunately, the courts don't allow people to benefit from spewing random vindictive nonsense. The ex will be put in her place.

Hey, at least she's an ex. I hate to think what your life would be like right now if she was still hanging around. Silver linings, old bean.

I am sure Judges are onto this.

A friend at Church is a well known Family Lawyer and can give me tips.\

Judge is gonna think that it is a bit odd that ex has waited all this time, rather, than soon after seperation and earlier this year I proposed a Parenting Agreement and so did she with some changes so funny she should chnage her mind eh?

[HenryDorsetCase]

Cannot afford a Lawyer but have a friend at Church who is a Family Lawyer who is giving me advice.



Dude can you afford NOT to have a lawyer?

[imdying]

You'll be right mate, they generally don't make idiots judges... the truth will set you free :yes:

[Grahameeboy]

Dude can you afford NOT to have a lawyer?

Well to cut a long story short, my Dad said he would pay my seperation legal costs and get a share of house and then changed his mind so I have a bill of $10,000 to pay off so on my wages I do not have any spare to pay any more costs.

If necessary my friend may help for free.

I know what you are saying, however, the ex's issues are petty ones, including twisting of events. I have had equal shared custody of Nats since June 2005 and my friend says that the Judge will not be so ready to change that.

I will enter defence, respond to her issues and ask for mediation and take from there.

I am more that I seem when it comes to important matters and have my faith which some may say is silly but at end of day we have equal share and ex will need a lot more to change the current status............

[Grahameeboy]

You'll be right mate, they generally don't make idiots judges... the truth will set you free :yes:

Exactly mate......if I end up not having a Lawyer the Judge will take that into account and not allow ex's Lawyers to dicate......

[MyGSXF]

They generally don't make idiots judges... the truth will set you free :yes:

Exactly! :niceone: I've just finished with another round (the 3rd) of court with my ex. I had a folder with many incidents written down , dated, photos etc.. proved to be invaluable! :yes: In court, be totally 100% open, honest & forthright, & focus on "the child" & the "impact" that the other people's actions are having on her.. ie: no mobility scooter for weekend, etc. Speak from "I".. ie: "I feel...." leave the shit dumping & accusations to them.. the Judge will see right through them & they will cut their own throats! Be resolute in up holding what is good & peace be with you. :hug:

Jen :rockon:

[Grahameeboy]

Exactly! :niceone: I've just finished with another round (the 3rd) of court with my ex. I had a folder with many incidents written down , dated, photos etc.. proved to be invaluable! :yes: In court, be totally 100% open, honest & forthright, & focus on "the child" & the "impact" that the other people's actions are having on her.. ie: no mobility scooter for weekend, etc. Speak from "I".. ie: "I feel...." leave the shit dumping & accusations to them.. the Judge will see right through them & they will cut their own throats! Be resolute in up holding what is good & peace be with you. :hug:

Jen :rockon:

Yep not really kept a lot of stuff as you did other than the threatening texts for partner but I plan not to fingerpoint or cite partners actions unless he is a witness.
As I see it, situation not ideal, however, this way ex has shown her cards so I know what she is saying so I can respond and she has no tangible evidence and as I have had shared custody for over 2 years, the Judge will look at impact on Nats etc and knowing ex she will probably show more emotion than I do.....in essence her issues are petty and in my care Nats has not come to any harm etc.
Fact ex is pregnant and getting married is probably a reason.
The partner is a real !@#$%. I asked him for the cut out cushion for Nats stander but because he made it I cannot have it............says a lot eh......

[Patrick]

Is there a court appointed lawyer for Nats? Does she have any say???? Wish you well... If "he" does appear, hope you have it all documented as suggested long ago.... "you never know when you might need it" rings a bell. Good luck and when is the celebration/victory party?

[Grahameeboy]

Well have already got some evidence to say that I did not take Nats to Kindercare in light clothing in the winter as claimed by ex so a good start.

Seeing the Disablity & Health Advocacy re the problems I had with the Waitemata Dhb as ex has used this as affecting Nats..........

More crap texts from ex's partner saved.

Will let you know about party. All being well, I will have one.

The Court will appoint a Lawyer for Nats if it proceeds pass mediation which I am gonna request.

At this stage I have no lawyer as cannot afford it, but have a Lawyer friend giving me tips etc. He is just way too busy to help me further so will just play things by ear.

[Patrick]

At this stage I have no lawyer as cannot afford it, but have a Lawyer friend giving me tips etc. He is just way too busy to help me further so will just play things by ear.


What about Legal Aid?

[jahrasti]

What about Legal Aid?

Fuck yea, all the scrotes are pretty quick to get it. It might as well be used for someone that hasn't done a burg' or beaten up an innocent person or whatever.

[Patrick]

Fuck yea, all the scrotes are pretty quick to get it. It might as well be used for someone that hasn't done a burg' or beaten up an innocent person or whatever.

Bloody oath! Family Court Lawyers are usually a good bunch too so you know you're getting a good 'un...

[ynot slow]

Was going to say legal aid,sure as hell the ex will have it especially if her idiot guy is on the dole,surprising the income limits threshold I have been told,wish I knew that when my seperation was before the judge,unhelpful lawyer I had.

As you agree, the faith will help you win out,I have a strange sence of religion,but some people swear by it and if it helps you go for it,each their own.:niceone: