An internal dilemma

[Brett]

You are 23 and working a highly corporate position in the construction management industry at a mid management level.
Money is good, enough to get buy on and buy the bike nice things....I mean wife nice things...ok...just myself sometimes.
The hours are long, leave home 7am back home at 7:30ish in the evening, the work is ok...not entirely in keeping with my goals as I am entreprenuerial and pretty switched on at business, whereas this is a highly administrative position (about 60% of the job - something I do, and do fairly well at, but dont enjoy a whole lot), the people are brilliant, the directors run the company very well and genuinely care for their staff. There is also a faiy good social aspect. However, I dont see my friends much, neither my family.

Now I have been offered a job still in construction management, more 'hands on' and not overly corporate. The money is better, plus I get a work vehicle (however maybe not a good thing as I enjoy commuting on the GSXR!) The work hours are less and the commute is only 10 mins as opposed to 1 hour each way. However, the position is less prestigious, the skill level of the work is lower as is the corporate management skill level required, thus I will not learn as much by way of corporate management skills. The workload may be quite heavy.

Potentially, once my wife is working I would like to focus on a more socially serving position such as the paramedics or possibly starting my own company, so I need to remember to focus on gaining skills that might help in these areas.

Both jobs offer such potential, I am not unhappy now...but that doesn't warrant not accepting this new job. I AM TORN IN TWO. MY MIND CHANGES BY THE HOUR. What would you do?

[Usarka]

I'd fuck off overseas and party. in fact I did.

[Brett]

Wifes an intern doctor. Got a few years stuck here yet mate.:argh:

[0arbreaka]

Get the experience and start your own bloody company, I'll come work for ya.

[johnnyflash]

Yep, its a dilemma alright.. a fine balancing act, that everyone sooner or later has to come to grips with.
Firstly, only you can decide it, So set your goals first. ie: where do you really want to be in say 5 years.. doing what, earning what, and lifestyle..
Second, identify what you need to do to achieve those goals.
Third, decide how much you are prepared to sacrifice in the interim period to meet that goal.
Number three is the real crunch, how much, how far will you go to meet your goal..
once you write out those three lists its simpler to decide how you should proceed.

But finally, remember Family/Friends/Relationships are important to most people, and it also needs some effort & commitment if you expect it to succeed,
Good luck..:weep:

[Brett]

Get the experience and start your own bloody company, I'll come work for ya.

The question then becomes, which job will help me get that experience fastest, the most most solidly. Not necessarily a construction company either.

[Oakie]

I can't tell you what to do. All I can do is distill it down to this:
It's simply a choice between better money and more home time now against the possibility of achieving higher goals a little further down the track. Forget the details. Just think about those two options and the answer may become obvious. If it was me ..... ummm .... I don't know what I'd do either. Sorry!

EDIT: Nah hang on. The job I took a year ago I moved to for the same pay. I have further to go to work and I'm starting a learning curve again to get to a better place in the future. OK. I chose higher goals against short term benefit it seems.

[Winston001]

Yeah I agree with Oakie. You are young so while money always seems the major attraction, longterm strategy is better for you. Higher goals.

It sounds like you have better prospects in terms of experience and knowledge where you are.

Having said that, it is healthy to work in different jobs - that is life experience which is worth a lot on it's own. Where do you see your current job taking you in the context of your long term goals?

[Brett]

Yeah I agree with Oakie. You are young so while money always seems the major attraction, longterm strategy is better for you. Higher goals.

It sounds like you have better prospects in terms of experience and knowledge where you are.

Having said that, it is healthy to work in different jobs - that is life experience which is worth a lot on it's own. Where do you see your current job taking you in the context of your long term goals?

Both offer different skill gains. If I stay where I am, I learn really top knotch management skills that will increase 'out-of-the-square thinking' but are more of a very blunt instrument in terms of running my own company. However they are valuable none the less.
If I take the other job, I learn more practical skills in the day-to-day issues of construction and general management, but are equally blunt in helping me run my own company.

The money really doesn't come into it. The time away from family really does as does the commuting time.

[Grahameeboy]

Both offer different skill gains. If I stay where I am, I learn really top knotch management skills that will increase 'out-of-the-square thinking' but are more of a very blunt instrument in terms of running my own company. However they are valuable none the less.
If I take the other job, I learn more practical skills in the day-to-day issues of construction and general management, but are equally blunt in helping me run my own company.

The money really doesn't come into it. The time away from family really does as does the commuting time.

Simple take the new job..........family and your own time comes first ahead of being a corporate head...........you have aspirations which is great but so do your family............on your death bed what would your greatest memories be?

[BarBender]

Hey Brett - Here's another way of looking at your situation...(and in no way do I mean any disrespect to those baby boomers and older gen x's like myself who seem to face one re-structure and role-disestablishment after another!!)

There's no such thing as a talent war. Talent won.
You are an example of that. The fact that you have a great job already and a job offer at the same time is a trend that is becoming more typical of people your age and with your skills. You're a hot commodity. Make the most of it.

Sounds like the company you're with are a great bunch! But I could also say that if they "really" valued you, why then are you doing 12 hours a day in a job where 60% of what you do is stuff you dont enjoy? Instead they should be developing you and giving you experience in stuff you do enjoy doing. Bottom line - they should be doing all they can to keep you!
I know our company would given that its hard to find 23 year olds with a bit of horsepower and who want to stay in the country!!

You're 23. You're young. You have a partner who's an intern doctor and therefore who probably works shit long hours and gets paid crap. Why do both of you have to go through that?
Do what fits you and your lifestyle. Make it easier on yourselves and enjoy the luxury that is career mobility. Why struggle to fill someones else pockets when in reality all they're doing is pulling the wool over your eyes to keep their cogs moving and to stop you from doing what you want to do.

Good luck with your decision bro.

[Brett]

Simple take the new job..........family and your own time comes first ahead of being a corporate head...........you have aspirations which is great but so do your family............on your death bed what would your greatest memories be?

That is what it keeps coming back to for me. I am lucky enough to still have grandparents around, I have my own parents who I see maybe two nights a week and I still have pre-teen sisters that deserve more of my attention. At the moment, they are lucky if they get a few hours a week combined. Can't take anything but my own soul with me when I leave this place and its a bit hard to share your toys when the people you want to share them with are gone.

I am one sad bastard that I can't get closure on this. Someone kick me in the nuts.:girlfight:

[Brett]

Hey Brett - Here's another way of looking at your situation...(and in no way do I mean any disrespect to those baby boomers and older gen x's like myself who seem to face one re-structure and role-disestablishment after another!!)

There's no such thing as a talent war. Talent won.
You are an example of that. The fact that you have a great job already and a job offer at the same time is a trend that is becoming more typical of people your age and with your skills. You're a hot commodity. Make the most of it.

Sounds like the company you're with are a great bunch! But I could also say that if they "really" valued you, why then are you doing 12 hours a day in a job where 60% of what you do is stuff you dont enjoy? Instead they should be developing you and giving you experience in stuff you do enjoy doing. Bottom line - they should be doing all they can to keep you!
I know our company would given that its hard to find 23 year olds with a bit of horsepower and who want to stay in the country!!

You're 23. You're young. You have a partner who's an intern doctor and therefore who probably works shit long hours and gets paid crap. Why do both of you have to go through that?
Do what fits you and your lifestyle. Make it easier on yourselves and enjoy the luxury that is career mobility. Why struggle to fill someones else pockets when in reality all they're doing is pulling the wool over your eyes to keep their cogs moving and to stop you from doing what you want to do.

Good luck with your decision bro.

Thanks mate, I think that is one thing I had thought, but needed to hear. Gone are the days of 'climbing' corporate ladders. Guts, balls and some brains are the new talents. You have given me some serious food for thought.

Cheers

[Grahameeboy]

That is what it keeps coming back to for me. I am lucky enough to still have grandparents around, I have my own parents who I see maybe two nights a week and I still have pre-teen sisters that deserve more of my attention. At the moment, they are lucky if they get a few hours a week combined. Can't take anything but my own soul with me when I leave this place and its a bit hard to share your toys when the people you want to share them with are gone.

I am one sad bastard that I can't get closure on this. Someone kick me in the nuts.:girlfight:

Nah not sad mate..............and keep ya nuts.

I could get a better paid job but with my Daughters situation I am better off earning less, getting a lodger, some Family Tax credit as my job gives me the flexibility I need when I have Nats at home...........I manage to keep the bike and I just pay the bills...............the other day I said to myself 'life is good' and it is because I decide rather than let other factors decide like money, job status etc.

Let your aspirations stay alive, take the new job, save the extra money so when you start up your business you will have a cushion

[Brett]

Nah not sad mate..............and keep ya nuts.

I could get a better paid job but with my Daughters situation I am better off earning less, getting a lodger, some Family Tax credit as my job gives me the flexibility I need when I have Nats at home...........I manage to keep the bike and I just pay the bills...............the other day I said to myself 'life is good' and it is because I decide rather than let other factors decide like money, job status etc.

Let your aspirations stay alive, take the new job, save the extra money so when you start up your business you will have a cushion

Thats exacty right. And, one never knows when it is them thrown a curve ball in life such as a disabled child. Client of mine just recently resigned from a pretty prestigious law firm to do the same thing, care for her two boys with Aspurges (probably spelt wrong). Pretty honorable in my books. Same goes for people who take similar courses in life to allow flexiility to be foster parents and the like.

[RantyDave]

the position is less prestigious, the skill level of the work is lower as is the corporate management skill level required
No, fuck it. To be honest it sounds like you know what you're doing and are quietly looking - there'll probably be a better offer along at some point. Patience.

Dave

[Coaster]

That is what it keeps coming back to for me. I am lucky enough to still have grandparents around, I have my own parents who I see maybe two nights a week and I still have pre-teen sisters that deserve more of my attention. At the moment, they are lucky if they get a few hours a week combined. Can't take anything but my own soul with me when I leave this place and its a bit hard to share your toys when the people you want to share them with are gone.

You do not know what the future will bring so make the most of the present. Enjoy time with your family while you still have them. You have got another 40+ years left to work - don't burn yourself out at 23 by working such long hours that in the future you will turn around and say. What happened to my family - why didn't I spend more time with them while I had the chance.

Also think about what people would say about you if you died tomorrow :bye: - do you want to be remembered because you were a good worker! (but easily replaceable) or a good son, grandson, brother, husband (not replaceable)

[miSTa]

Toss a coin for it, if you don't the result you have your answer.

[Pillick]

Havent read the rest of the replies, but:

I'd start by explaining to the guys who offered the job why you aren't that keen. It doesnt seem like much of a step anywhere (and possibly a step backwards) so why take the job offer as it is? Being genuinely not interested in the offer is a great position to bargin from.

[Hitcher]

I must be missing something here. Why wouldn't you take the job that pays more money?

[Grahameeboy]

I must be missing something here. Why wouldn't you take the job that pays more money?

Money should not be the decider Mr H............

[vifferman]

The way you presented the situation made option 2 sound more attractive from most aspects. And as BarBender said (bloody good advice), you don't have to stay forever in the job; if it doesn't work out, move on. Unemployment is currently low, and I know from talking to my bro-in-law in the construction business that it's VERY hard to find people to fill roles like yours. If you're really torn, and aren't really sure you want to move on, then you have nothing to lose by approaching your current employers with your concerns (long hours etc.) and see if they are able to make any concessions in order to keep you.
Bear this in mind too: the aforementioned bro-in-law recently had a bit of a breakdown from too much stress and too much work. You're young and short-term this may be just an adrenaline boost that helps you to accomplish heaps, but if you're in the same situation as him, don't put up with it. A guy I worked with for 8 years basically got too stressed with work pressure and had a stroke. That was him fukt at 45.

[Hitcher]

Money should not be the decider Mr H...

Indeed. But given the scenarios as presented, I can't see why there's a choice. The second option sounds preferable to the first, in ways other than the money.

[Grahameeboy]

Indeed. But given the scenarios as presented, I can't see why there's a choice. The second option sounds preferable to the first, in ways other than the money.

I agree with that...........

[discotex]

Both jobs offer such potential, I am not unhappy now...but that doesn't warrant not accepting this new job. I AM TORN IN TWO. MY MIND CHANGES BY THE HOUR. What would you do?

Mate I feel your pain. In a similar situation myself. If I come up with a reliable way to decide I'll let ya know :)

[HenryDorsetCase]

Wifes an intern doctor. Got a few years stuck here yet mate.:argh:

suck it up till wifey is qualified in the "prestigious" job. then when wifey is earning the good coin, chuck in your job, and become a consultant, based on your experience at the "prestigious" firm, which will stand you in better stead than the easy option you're contemplating.

Long term view, grasshopper: take the long term view.

[puddy]

You are 23 and working a highly corporate position in the construction management industry at a mid management level.
Money is good, enough to get buy on
The hours are long, leave home 7am back home at 7:30ish in the evening, The work hours are less and the commute is only 10 mins as opposed to 1 hour each way. However, the position is less prestigious,
An hour commute each way........so,10-10.5 hour working days,lunch included. Remind me to tell 90% of the people that I know that they are working far too hard! HTFU........enough to get BY on..........are 23 and working a highly corporate position in the construction management industry at a mid management level..could you be any more vague, spit it out for fucks sake! Are you a Q S? Engineer? Bean Counter? You sound like you need a more creative environment, start your own company or go overseas. But if your wife has a student loan, be sure to pay it off. Or never come back. Remember, common labourers, rubbish collectors, and toilet cleaners pay taxes so that others can study at an already subsidised level to become mid level management types. The labourers etc don't get squat back. If the shoe fits........
Love and Kisses

[Brett]

An hour commute each way........so,10-10.5 hour working days,lunch included. Remind me to tell 90% of the people that I know that they are working far too hard! HTFU........enough to get BY on..........are 23 and working a highly corporate position in the construction management industry at a mid management level..could you be any more vague, spit it out for fucks sake! Are you a Q S? Engineer? Bean Counter? You sound like you need a more creative environment, start your own company or go overseas. But if your wife has a student loan, be sure to pay it off. Or never come back. Remember, common labourers, rubbish collectors, and toilet cleaners pay taxes so that others can study at an already subsidised level to become mid level management types. The labourers etc don't get squat back. If the shoe fits........
Love and Kisses

That is the average. Often times it is several hours on a saturday and some weeks the hours are much longer...and I dont take lunch breaks. Ever. Its not so much the quantity of hours as it is the quantity of work/stress in those hours. Ie from the minute the day kicks off, there are a million and one things to get done and everything is done at a million miles an hour. Not trying to say "oh look, poor me", shit there are many people out there working much longer hours than me. One bloke from the office regularly does 7:30am till 10:30pm.
The industry is professional project managment & construction development management. And it was done with no help from that god for nothing Helen Clark, I studied in the evenings for 3 years while working during the days. Point is mate, I am not afraid to work. I just also am aware that if I am gonna load myself up with stress and miss out on other things in life, then I had better really be enjoying what I do. Which I do not at present.

[Brett]

suck it up till wifey is qualified in the "prestigious" job. then when wifey is earning the good coin, chuck in your job, and become a consultant, based on your experience at the "prestigious" firm, which will stand you in better stead than the easy option you're contemplating.

Long term view, grasshopper: take the long term view.

Yeah I did wonder about that. However, at the end of the day I do not really want to work long term in what I am doing. I need something more creative. That is me now, who knows what happens in 5 years. Maybe I will mellow and become less creative and enjoy administration and process driven work.

[Brett]

Anyhow, made a call today and will be running with the new job. Door is still somewhat open for me at my current employer should I wish to return...might have to go back with cap in hand, but hey...its still there. Had to make a call and run with it.

Another main decider, was that I am about to start building a new house and the new job will allow me to save many thousands on material costs:niceone:

[Animal]

I think you've made the right choice. Having to work 12-hour days is simple exploitation. For more pay in a realistic working week, easy choice. Hour-long commute compared to 10-minute commute, easier choice. Reclaim your life - it's the only one you're going to get!

Yup, you've done the right thing, Mr P.

[mstriumph]

.......................

Both jobs offer such potential, I am not unhappy now...but that doesn't warrant not accepting this new job. I AM TORN IN TWO. MY MIND CHANGES BY THE HOUR. What would you do?

i would ask MY WIFE

- for pity's sake, fella - next to your own, HERS is the only opinion that should be worth jackshit to you?? :drinkup:

[Brett]

I think you've made the right choice. Having to work 12-hour days is simple exploitation. For more pay in a realistic working week, easy choice. Hour-long commute compared to 10-minute commute, easier choice. Reclaim your life - it's the only one you're going to get!

Yup, you've done the right thing, Mr P.

Yeah, it all came into it really aye.


i would ask MY WIFE

- for pity's sake, fella - next to your own, HERS is the only opinion that should be worth jackshit to you?? :drinkup:


I certainly listened to her opinion, and her comments held solid weighting behind making a choice.