How to be a man

[Mully]

Checked to see if this is a repost, and found nothing. Mods, please feel free to delete.

Here is a list of 25 things a man allegedly has to be able to do to be considered manly:

1. Patch a radiator hose
2. Protect your computer
3. Rescue a boater who as capsized
4. Frame a wall
5. Retouch digital photos
6. Back up a trailer
7. Build a campfire
8. Fix a dead outlet
9. Navigate with a map and compass
10. Use a torque wrench
11. Sharpen a knife
12. Perform CPR
13. Fillet a fish
14. Maneuver a car out of a skid
15. Get a car unstuck
16. Back up data
17. Paint a room
18. Mix concrete
19. Clean a bolt-action rifle
20. Change oil and filter
21. Hook up an HDTV
22. Bleed brakes
23. Paddle a canoe
24. Fix a bike flat
25. Extend your wireless network

Discuss, or add your own.

[Bullitt]

Ive done about 15 of those. Still waiting on my opportunity to rescue a boater:confused:

[Romeo]

16 for me, I still have a lot of work to do in regards to carpentry and mechanics - but technology and car sliding I'm pretty experienced with :].

EDIT: Should change this to a multi-choice poll. So we can see what the "In-demand" attributes are

[Disco Dan]

20 for me.

Map and compass is an issue. :laugh:

[Bren]

I have never rescued a boater,,,,,I dont have a wireless modem so have not set up a wireless network...and I dont believe in killing poor little animals, so have not had anything to do with guns....
but all the rest are good ticks....I think the list is a bit shortsighted for example...
???Change a nappy???...Any modern man (with kids) should be able to do that.
???Cook on the BBQ???...Essential for a kiwi bloke..

And there are bound to be others but I am too bloody tired to think.....

[RC1]

20 for me.

Map and compass is an issue. :laugh:

youwould get lost evan with a gps dd :shutup:

[Goblin]

8. Fix a dead outletSo how dead is the outlet? Has rigor mortis set in or is it still warm? :blink:

[Mully]

Should change this to a multi-choice poll. So we can see what the "In-demand" attributes are

Great idea. But I can't have 25 options, can I??

[klingon]

Glad I'm not a man

Sounds too much like hard work :wacko:

[Mully]

Glad I'm not a man

Sounds too much like hard work :wacko:

I could put a female one up if you want.

Bake a cake
Iron a shirt.....

(P/T before I get flamed)

[hospitalfood]

nothing about getting hard and pleasing girls/women?????

[deanohit]

Done all but the last one, even did 2 at once, rescued 2 guys in a boat and had to give 1 CPR. How do you extend a wireless network? and then all done.

And Klingon, it sure is a hard life being a man.

[hospitalfood]

I cant fillet a fish, the rest I've covered.
I think doing dumb shit should be in there.

[Shadows]

I guess that makes me only 94% man and I suppose should be marked down a bit for having moobs.

[Big Dave]

The list is from 'Popular Mechanics'.

How not to be a man:
Compile lists like a woman's magazine.

[rainman]

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

-Robert A. Heinlein

[Mully]

The list is from 'Popular Mechanics'.

How not to be a man:
Compile lists like a woman's magazine.

Thank you Helpy Helper.

But I didn't compile it, I shamelessly ripped it from another website. So nyah.

[Big Dave]

So nyah.

Your petticoat is showing. :girlfight:

[Mekk]

How the fuck is retouching digital photos manly? If we're talking people, that's like putting makeup on.

[tri boy]

To be a man:
Support/assist those that need/deserve your assistance.
Protect and nuture your loved ones.
Stand by what you say you will do, and not chicken out at the first sign of inconvenience or fear.
Walk tall through life, setting an example to those that need it.
Supply care, honesty, and discipline, to children in your care.
Walk lightly on mother earth, and love life.
Respect others, but don't allow yourself to be walked over.
Theres bound to be more.....
Funny how none of this was mentioned by popular mechanics. Maybe they took it for granted.:cool:

[Edbear]

How do you extend a wireless network? ..



You take one end and stretch it to the next room....:niceone:

[terbang]

All that and yet no mention of the third leg here, eh?

[caesius]

Damn that boat one's a tad inconvenient. I might have to go hang round some harbours and follow boats out, if they ask what the hell I'm doing I'll just say "waiting for you to capsize"

[Timber020]

Its funny but I can protect my computer with the clean bolt action rifle.

But HD TV, digital photos and wireless network....pifff

Theres no mention of being able to ride a motorcycle, tie up a hostage, raise good kids, blow up a letterbox, sabotage someones car, make an emergency shelter in the forest or kick someones ass.

Its not a mans list, its a handy husbands list

[ynot slow]

Shit I thought give the wife an orgasm would be top of the list.

Stick the mamby shit

[tri boy]

[QUOTE=ynot slow;1217273]Shit I thought give the wife an orgasm would be top of the list.

Theres such a thing for women? Ya learn something new every day.:lol::buggerd:

[ynot slow]

[QUOTE=ynot slow;1217273]Shit I thought give the wife an orgasm would be top of the list.

Theres such a thing for women? Ya learn something new every day.:lol::buggerd:

Mine seems to think so,one day i'll try to get inside her lol.:beer:

[peasea]

[QUOTE=ynot slow;1217273]Shit I thought give the wife an orgasm would be top of the list.

Theres such a thing for women? Ya learn something new every day.:lol::buggerd:

If there was, who'd care?

[Big Dave]

If there was, who'd care?


Always nice to see a man comfortable in the company of his own hand.

[Xile]

"Should be able to give pleasure to a woman" is a very important point, should be on man list at the top ;)
and listening to woman
oh and offer gifts and flowers..
do I continue?
lool
:shifty: :Pokey: :shutup:

[Timber020]

I know how to pleasure a woman, but after a while I end up broke.

[Big Dog]

3, 12 and 21 yet to be done, but there is nothing on that list I cannot do.

[Big Dog]

How do you extend a wireless network?
That depends on how much money you have, how secure your network need to be and how many machines you expect to connect to your network?
Do you have a IIS server, a home server, or a home network?


Scale and budget are the key to your method but security is an essential factor in the actual config, it is no good having a secure wireless network that is then extended by an unsecured repeater / router / switch.:girlfight:

[BMW]

done all of them. Well roughly!

Jack of all trades, master of none!

[Fryin Finn]

Does giving CPR to a dummy in first aid class count

[deanohit]

That depends on how much money you have, how secure your network need to be and how many machines you expect to connect to your network?
Do you have a IIS server, a home server, or a home network?
Scale and budget are the key to your method but security is an essential factor in the actual config, it is no good having a secure wireless network that is then extended by an unsecured repeater / router / switch.:girlfight:

No idea. Had a mate set it up. The network goes beyond the house to each neighbours, but they're to old for computers. I'm not all that skilled with computers,:wacko: my brother is the geek of the family.:2thumbsup

[deanohit]

Does giving CPR to a dummy in first aid class count

Well it only said "Perform CPR":doctor: so I guess you pass that one. :niceone:

[Grahameeboy]

I could put a female one up if you want.

Bake a cake
Iron a shirt.....

(P/T before I get flamed)

Hey I can do 2 things......:rolleyes:

[SlashWylde]

Interestingly there's nothing on that list about caring for and providing for a family, or for devoting ones self to raising healthy happy children, or spending the rest of one's life in love with one woman - for example.

It's just a list of arbitrary suburbanite blokey values that simple minded folk use to bolster their own egos at the pub, or round the BBQ.

I think that's very telling.

[Finn]

I'm still stuck on #1. Besides, a real man gets other people to do his shit for him and doesn't watch rugby.

[Hitcher]

Kill vagrant wetas
Remove white-tailed spiders from bedroom ceiling
Put Bandit 650 onto and off its mainstand
Fill Scottoiler
Wield chainsaw appropriately on request (and inappropriately when unsupervised)
Change lightbulbs
Open jars
Set clocks for daylight saving time

[idb]

...and I dont believe in killing poor little animals, so have not had anything to do with guns....

But.............they're so yummy!!!!!

[Guitana]

I rescued a boatie then went back later that day and salvaged the boat scored some flash shit eh Bro!!!!!

[The Stranger]

So all you whom have completed (or nearly) the list, how does one patch a radiator hose?

[Big Dog]

So all you whom have completed (or nearly) the list, how does one patch a radiator hose?
That depends.
How big is the hole?
Who long does it need to hold?

[jrandom]

Kill vagrant wetas

You kill wetas? You heathen! I usually sit and talk to them for a while, offer them something fruity, let them clamber about on my hand and hopefully not chomp on it... one of the few species of animal in this world that it pains me to harm.

<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/59/Defensive_tree_weta.jpg/250px-Defensive_tree_weta.jpg"/>


Remove white-tailed spiders

Now there's a bug that needs killin'.

[Big Dave]

Hitcher says white tails get a bad rap.

They probably do - but the bacteria they can carry on their fags - that causes gangrene in people who are allergic to it however casts them in the kill on sight bin. Mercilessly and without compunction.

I have seen the effects on my own flesh and blood. And the hyperbaric chamber treatment that cured it.

[jrandom]

the bacteria they can carry on their fags - that causes gangrene in people who are allergic to it however casts them in the kill on sight bin. Mercilessly and without compunction.

Yup. Absolutely.

Mother of a friend lost half her thumb to necrosis following a whitetail bite.

Airborne neurotoxins all the way. Die, Aussie motherfuckers. Die.

[Big Dave]

Die, Aussie motherfuckers. Die.

Imagine my delight when I thought I had got away from them.

I don't mind living without funnel webs or red belly black snakes. Nor do I miss motherfucker caterpillers, red backs or termites.

I do miss blue tongues and parrots.

[jrandom]

I do miss blue tongues...

If I recall correctly, back in primary school, there was a flavour of bubblegum which was pretty much guaranteed to achieve that. I'm sure you can still find it at corner dairies.

[idb]

.... but the bacteria they can carry on their fags - ......

Those fags are full of diseases

[deanohit]

So all you whom have completed (or nearly) the list, how does one patch a radiator hose?

One time up in the back blocks with my truck, it decided to blow a radiator hose a long way from help.:angry: We got a stick that would fit inside the hose and put some red hot nails down it to make a tube, stuck it in the radiator hose, plenty of duct tape and hose clamps, then drove out with the windows down and the heater on full to help get rid of heat.:sunny: Held on for 3 hours till we got back to a farm and the cow cocky gave us a hose to fit, but I don't know how much further it would have gone.

[Hitcher]

You kill wetas? You heathen!

Mrs H demands nothing less than seeing total murder death kill. She is not a woman to be trifled with. Be afraid.

[deanohit]

Be very afraid.

My mum is like that, spraying around the house once a week to rain death upon all spiders.

[Goblin]

So all you whom have completed (or nearly) the list, how does one patch a radiator hose?With ones pantyhose...:shit:

[Coyote]

26: Have a Vagina

That's a load of bull. Retouch digital photos? Extend your wireless network?!

[007XX]

With ones pantyhose...:shit:

:killingme

Oh boy! I'd like to see that...

Would electrical tape do the trick? Quite seriously, there are a number of items that never leave my handbag: my leatherman (always have a knife), electrical tape and some earplugs...

These have come to be surprisingly handy over the years, even though I get a lot of crap from both male and females about not having lipstick in there instead!:whocares:

[Big Dave]

Those fags are full of diseases

Ha! - it's the pricks that get cha.

[007XX]

Ha! - it's the pricks that get cha.

Mmmmm...is that what it was all these years? :laugh: But they seemed so friendly...:blink:

[ManDownUnder]

You kill wetas? You heathen! I usually sit and talk to them for a while, offer them something fruity, let them clamber about on my hand and hopefully not chomp on it... one of the few species of animal in this world that it pains me to harm.



Exactly. I give the little buggers somewhere to live. A short length of bamboo (with a 10mm ID?) with the little bamboo segment/partition at the top as a lid. Nail it to a tree so they can climb up into it sleep in there. No hassles from pesky birds, cats, rats or whatever!

[Big Dave]

Exactly. I give the little buggers somewhere to live.

Immigrantly: Grotesque but fascinating in a Jnr bug catcher's kinda way. I help them on their way.

[Finn]

My rule is if it can fit under my shoe, it's fair game. Although there was an incident with a Tui once, but it was mad. It used to sing right throughout the night and keep the neighbourhood awake. Boy did I bury that fella deep.

[ManDownUnder]

My rule is if it can fit under my shoe, it's fair game.

Jesus mate I never expected a shortarse to promote that policy...

[Swoop]

Jesus mate I never expected a shortarse to promote that policy...
Now that is public knowledge, the boot of Big Dave will be feared in the Finn residence!

[Finn]

Now that is public knowledge, the boot of Big Dave will be feared in the Finn residence!

Got that covered. I'm a customer of his.

Divide and conquer.

[Big Dave]

Now that is public knowledge, the boot of Big Dave will be feared in the Finn residence!

I meant 'help them on their way' like - gently - here ya go - this ponga - is what you need sunshine.
If a wetta isnt a black hat I dunno wot is.
White tails however meet the yellow pages.