I got in the crap this arvo...

[Donor]

No really, in the crap!

Standing at the back of the station, an ambulance drove over a sewerage manhole cover and the thing popped up.

So I wandered over, and lo! there was a stream of poo and paper flowing past.

I shoved the lid back on with my foot and the other officer walked out to see what the hell had happened.

I told her about the lid popping up, and told her it was bloody odd, that they really aren't meant to do that.

So I stomped the lid with my left foot... and the bloody thing swiveled, leaving a big hole just waiting for me to fall down.

My leg started heading down, and 95kg of me was most supportive in its journey. The front of my ankle took out the front of the hole, just as my knee got to hole level, the lid came round again and smacked the top of my knee, and I landed on the edge of the hole with the side of my thigh, all my weight resting on it. Fortunately, my left elbow arrested my fall, and I stopped about 8 inches before landing in the joyous flow below.

After a few seconds of cursing, swearing and some words that I am not entirely sure exist in common language, I pulled my leg out and proceeded to curse and swear some more.

Upshot is, I have a golf ball sized lump on my ankle, an extra knee cap and the biggest abrasion/contusion near the top of my thigh I have ever seen.

Walking hurts, driving is impossible and the beer hasn't begun to work yet.

Lesson: Don't trust those goddamn metal circles of doom folks - or you may end up in the shit like I did!

(Funny aside - other officer freaked out when I disappeared, upon seeing I was not dead, I told her to call an ambulance... she got her cellphone out and was about to dial... of course it proves that laughter is NOT the best medicine, cos it still bloody hurts!)

[klingon]

ROFL! :killingme
Great story! A shame it had to hurt though.

[Donor]

ROFL! :killingme
Great story! A shame it had to hurt though.

Pissed off that it didn't happen to someone else... I would LOVE to have seen it, sort of thing comedy writers can only dream of!

...well, and write of I suppose...

[gijoe1313]

And there but for the grace of small mercies go I ... :eek5: So, moral of story is no good deed goes unpunished?

[Coldrider]

There was a dickhead locally here 10 to 15 years ago who was popping the lids of ones on the roads in town. But the whole think mysteriously faded away, before anyone was hurt. Bikers had to keep an eye out, especially morning shifters.

[Donor]

There was a dickhead locally here 10 to 15 years ago who was popping the lids of ones on the roads in town. But the whole think mysteriously faded away, before anyone was hurt. Bikers had to keep an eye out, especially morning shifters.

I have instinctively avoided these things whether on 4 wheels or 2... now I know my paranoia has been justified - you just don't expect them to be able to swivel open like that!

[peasea]

Isn't that called 'getting your own back'?

[Coldrider]

I have instinctively avoided these things whether on 4 wheels or 2... now I know my paranoia has been justified - you just don't expect them to be able to swivel open like that!

Me too, but then they widened the roads which put them mid lane.

[Donor]

Me too, but then they widened the roads which put them mid lane.

My age may be causing my memory to fail, but didn't they used to make a point of putting manholes in the middle of the road, to AVOID traffic going over them?

Anyway... my bottle of anesthetic is empty, time to hobble to the dispensary for a top-up...

[Mikkel]

Be careful in your choice of anesthetics - we don't want you to fuck your liver (and it's a nasty way to go as well).

But bummer - I've tried having ankles and knees like that before hurts like shit now. Then it will get better and then it will hurt even more when bruise moves down to your foot via gravity. Perhaps consult a physiotherapist - I had sonic and heat treatments of my swelling to help the tissue relax.

Must have been a sight though!

[Donor]

But bummer - I've tried having ankles and knees like that before hurts like shit now. Then it will get better and then it will hurt even more when bruise moves down to your foot via gravity. Perhaps consult a physiotherapist - I had sonic and heat treatments of my swelling to help the tissue relax.

One of thew Advanced Paramedics wanted to run me up to Auckland Hospital - bugger that, I go there enough times a day to know what I'd be in for! :oi-grr:



Must have been a sight though!

I know - one of those days I wish we had CCTV at the back of the station, could have made a fortune from some random "funniest videos" program!

And fear not, the anesthesia is being administered slowly... that is, I can't walk so fast, it takes me a while to get out to the garage and my eldest is too damn short to reach the top shelf of the fridge :crybaby:

[Toaster]

Lesson: Don't trust those goddamn metal circles of doom folks - or you may end up in the shit like I did!

(Funny aside - other officer freaked out when I disappeared, upon seeing I was not dead, I told her to call an ambulance... she got her cellphone out and was about to dial... of course it proves that laughter is NOT the best medicine, cos it still bloody hurts!)

Mate that is worth bling and very funny. Thanks for lightening my day!

Those damn man-hole are bad enough for bikers riding over them and going for a slide, let alone it doing that to you!

Keep up the good work on the streets and keep outta the poo next time!

[Bren]

Ya know...one of these days ya will look back and laugh....Great post dude....Bling awarded!

[Laava]

Yep that was a great story! Thanks for sharing that, by the way, if you are ever up on a scaffold and have a spare barrel of bricks to lower down.........I'm sure you know the rest!!!:sunny:

[LilSel]

Dude... that sucks... good job you didnt end up in the shit tho aye... !!

heal up n rest that leg!

[Xaria]

:laugh: :hug: hope you feel better soon

[Donor]

Bugger... a forced day off work today. I can walk a bit better, but still very sore - can't wait for the bruising to come out, it's going to be a doozy!

Worst part is, I have a Team Manager swinging by some time today to drop me in a 9" thick pile of OSH paperwork and palava to fill in. Wonder if I can post the first message in the thread and just staple it to the front?

[gijoe1313]

:rofl: Yep, it seems you get to be punished twice ... once for the incident and then the excruciating paperwork to be filled in afterwards! So, did your team enforce a mandatory lay off period so you wouldn't come in stinking of faeces? :sick:

And more importantly, can you still ride? :sweatdrop

[Coldrider]

My age may be causing my memory to fail, but didn't they used to make a point of putting manholes in the middle of the road, to AVOID traffic going over them?
What was middle of the road 80 years ago is middle of the lane, or any part of the lane nowadays. 10 years ago a roundabout was redeveloped here with 2 X 1mm2 steel plates covering/ accessing services, smack in the middle of the lane, man you don't ride/lean on those.

[xwhatsit]

Ouch, you silly man.

Motorcycles are dangerous? Try joining the farking ambulance service!!

By the way, Nige, your avatar -- why has he only got one arm? Is that the arm they stuck the needle into?

[007XX]

Oh Dear! You poor bugger...Hope you get better soon..;)

[fireball]

now you just have to show us the mentioned injury

gotta love that lovely purple colour it will go!
but do hope you get better!

[Donor]

So, did your team enforce a mandatory lay off period so you wouldn't come in stinking of faeces?

No, it's pretty much when I feel right, I'll be back at work... if waking at 3 this morning to take a leak, and collapsing on the floor because my leg was too damn sore to stand on was an indicator, it could be another day or so! :thud:


And more importantly, can you still ride? :sweatdrop

Yes... yes I can!

In fact I have just come back from a jaunt up the road, saw Sprag pass his 6R (yay yay, cheer cheer!) then went to the ball and chains work to say howdy, followed by some bike porn and booking in of the bike at East City. (Sick of having next to no brakes...)

I can ride so long as I lift my leg onto the left peg with my hand, and don't put my foot down when I stop. Can't sit in a car seat, they're too wide and hit the edge of my most excellent wound.

Damn, enforced biking! :woohoo:

[Donor]

now you just have to show us the mentioned injury

gotta love that lovely purple colour it will go!
but do hope you get better!

...and show off my negative tan?

I'd be done for scaring people! :blink:

[Bass]

...and show off my negative tan?

I'd be done for scaring people! :blink:

You could always get a second job as a lighthouse

[Minnie]

enjoyed reading your great "crap" story, hope you feel better soon, hope you took some arnica really great for fixing bruising/swelling, but i guess you already know that ahe...get well soon!

[Donor]

enjoyed reading your great "crap" story, hope you feel better soon, hope you took some arnica really great for fixing bruising/swelling, but i guess you already know that ahe...get well soon!

"Physician, heal thyself!"

Actually... no...

My first aid extends to a beer or two, and playstation... works well! :D

[Drew]

Be careful in your choice of anesthetics - we don't want you to fuck your liver (and it's a nasty way to go as well).



Hang on there, if he doesn't drink it, somebody else might, then they might get crook! Nobody wants that on thier concience, drink up buddy:apint:

[Blue Thunder]

Hey donor hope the legs all fixed!!!!!!! sorry about the limp........
And cheers for the bloody paperwork that you generated GGGRRRRRR>

[steveb64]

I agree with the Arnica treatment - I (we, with 2x young lads) use it often. :weep:
Naturo Pharm 'Accident Relief' cream, in a blue and white tube at most chemists. Can't put it on broken skin though... But good shit for bruises - and piles! Even used it on my cats ear, when vet was saying "We'll have to cut it off" (due to ruptured vein filling the cats ear up with blood, making a big bulgy bit). Put Arnica on it for a few days, sac of blood shrank and disappeared, and cats still got two ears!

Top points for good save, keeping you out of the shit when it counted! :2thumbsup

[Donor]

Hey donor hope the legs all fixed!!!!!!! sorry about the limp........
And cheers for the bloody paperwork that you generated GGGRRRRRR>

What can I say?

It was nice to actually see you doing some work for a change! :lol: