Abuse of women?

[Colapop]

According to a study by the University of Auckland a quarter of women were abused as children. I'm thinking "Holy shit I'm naive" coz I never thought that. Fark, I dunno is this real?

I suppose the abuse that they are referring to is sexual of some sort - and I suppose that ranges from lewd or suggestive comments to physical sexual abuse.

This is not about women bashing or forcing anyone to share anything - I'm just absolutely stunned at these figures!
Stuff Article (http://www.stuff.co.nz/4248953a10.html)

[Trudes]

Define abuse though.
I could say I was left unattended for hours on end as a child, is that abuse? Am I fucked up? Ok, don't answer that.

[James Deuce]

I reckon 99% of blokes over a certain age will have suffered what would be defined as abuse these days. Second guessing historical models of discipline and abuse is futile. That was then, this is now. Get over it.

Like any public survey/study in NZ it is designed to create advertising revenue and bolster an industry that makes money out of misery.

[jrandom]

They'll be talking about sexual abuse. Nothing to do with blokes getting the strap, Jim2.

In other words, sexual violation of underage girls, often well before puberty. Usually (almost always, in fact) by an older male family member.

It fucks their heads up for life, and it's a silent scourge on society that causes far more pain and dysfunctionality than people who've never been affected by it realise.

And yes, I can well believe that 25% of women have been victims of it.

[sAsLEX]

Second guessing historical models of discipline is futile. That was then, this is now. Get over it.



And look at the youth of today!

Bring back the cane and CMT and lets see how big these little gangstas are then....

/rant

[James Deuce]

They'll be talking about sexual abuse. Nothing to do with blokes getting the strap, Jim2.



I am talking about what would be defined as sexual abuse today.

[Pwalo]

I am talking about what would be defined as sexual abuse today.

And if you ask the right questions you get the right answers. And if you say something often enough it must be true (or is that factual?).

You need to be very careful with quoting stats without knowing the details of the statistical survey that was carried, especially the survey group.

[TLMAN]

And if you ask the right questions you get the right answers. And if you say something often enough it must be true (or is that factual?).

You need to be very careful with quoting stats without knowing the details of the statistical survey that was carried, especially the survey group.

Its in the herald today.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/1/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10471770

[Mikkel]

My father kissed me on the cheek when I was 5 - does that count? Oh, I'm not a woman so I guess it doesn't... ;)

But yes, it is most definately as much larger number of people out there struggling with these things than one would imagine. I've met a few girls who had been subjected to such abuse. Ironically, a substantial amount of the damage done is due to the taboo, reluctance to accept and/or discuss the matter and carrying the weight of these violations on your own shoulders.

Whether there's more abuse today than in the past or if there's just more focus on it is hard to tell. Dunno how exactly, but I guess the heightened sexual awareness and abolishment of sexual taboos ties in with this issue as well. It's just damn tricky really.

[Grahameeboy]

And if you ask the right questions you get the right answers. And if you say something often enough it must be true (or is that factual?).

You need to be very careful with quoting stats without knowing the details of the statistical survey that was carried, especially the survey group.

Some truth in what you say but doesn't do too much harm to highlight what is still an issue.

[ManDownUnder]

I am talking about what would be defined as sexual abuse today.

Rap videos....? I'm not too impressed with the incredibly early sexualisation of kids, girls or boys.

But back on topicc - this is serious shite. I've had a couple of fantastic women confide in me over the years that they have suffered sexual abuse at the hands of an older relative (one was an older girl at that point of 'experimenting') and it's done all manner of damage.

Some seem to react by being overly sexual, others by being almost frigid. It sure destroys any notions of what a 'normal sexual response' is.

It annoys the shit out of me to be honest... and I reckon kiddy fiddlers would be best punished by standing them in front of a small guillotine.... SNIP

and THEN they start their punishment.

The cure for women - I'm not sure...

[jrandom]

I reckon kiddy fiddlers would be best punished by standing them in front of a small guillotine.... SNIP

Fuckin' A.


The cure for women - I'm not sure...

I don't think there is one.

All I can say is, avoid the poor broken bitches like the plague, guys. :(

[sunhuntin]

i voted yes... wont go in to details, but if anyone knows a fix, let me know. counselling didnt work.

[007XX]

It annoys the shit out of me to be honest... and I reckon kiddy fiddlers would be best punished by standing them in front of a small guillotine.... SNIP

and THEN they start their punishment.


Aaaaaahh, you and I finally agree on a just punishment for this!:headbang:
:niceone:

There is no cure for women in this situation I think. Once the damage is done, I don't really think you can just wipe away this sort of experience.
My father was a very harsh disciplinarian, but would have never touched me in that other way that is just so very wrong.
Parents who do this are sick and should be treated as such, with no option to ever be able to repeat the offence.

[ManDownUnder]

There is no cure for women in this situation I think. Once the damage is done, I don't really think you can just wipe away this sort of experience.

Yeah a "fix" is a challenge, but I was actually referring to women that abuse kids. Either way we see eye to eye on it. It's abuse... and it's destructive... pure and simple.

I wish sex was not such a closed door subject for a number of reasons - and this is one of 'em. If people could/would talk about it... disfunction would become more apparent (even just to the individual concerned) and they could start finding help if they needed it.

[007XX]

Yeah a "fix" is a challenge, but I was actually referring to women that abuse kids.

Either way we see eye to eye on it. It's abuse... and it's destructive... pure and simple.

Absolutely! inexcusable in my view...how could anyone do such a thing (man or woman) is so beyond me.

[Disco Dan]

<embed src="http://www.theonion.com/content/themes/common/assets/videoplayer/flvplayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="400" height="355" flashvars="file=http://www.theonion.com/content/xml/66669/video&autostart=false&image=http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/DOMESTIC_ABUSE.jpg&bufferlength=3&embedded=true&title=Domestic%20Abuse%20No%20Longer%20A%20Problem %2C%20Say%20Bruised%20Female%20Researchers"></embed><br/><a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/video/domestic_abuse_no_longer_a?utm_source=embedded_vid eo">Domestic Abuse No Longer A Problem, Say Bruised Female Researchers</a>

[Colapop]

Is that supposed to be funny?

[Kittyhawk]

The cure for women - I'm not sure...

Time and coming to terms about what happend. Looking back at it but from a different angle with some careful guidance.

[Hitcher]

63.1% of all statistics published in newspapers are made up. The margin of error increases from 6.3% to 36.2% when a grievance industry is involved.

[car]

According to a study by the University of Auckland a quarter of women were abused as children. I'm thinking "Holy shit I'm naive" coz I never thought that. Fark, I dunno is this real?

Given the results of the now defunct study called "Women That Chris Has Dated", I'd say 25% is about right. The small sample set doesn't allow us to draw any firm conclusions, however.

[The Stranger]

I like the sentiment, but wonder if your sig is perhaps a little ironic.

[klingon]

Given the results of the now defunct study called "Women That Chris Has Dated", I'd say 25% is about right. The small sample set doesn't allow us to draw any firm conclusions, however.

Yes, my small and unscientific research sample also says that 25% is about right. I base that on conversations with female friends, colleagues and family members - whenever the subject comes up, about 25% of women will 'own up' to having been sexually abused.

And I'm not talking about behaviour that might have been acceptable in times gone by (eg a smack on the bottom). This is stuff that is serious abuse and has never been ok.

[Colapop]

Sexual abuse is never ok. I cannot understand how guys can do this...? As a guy I cannot comprehend the harm that it would do to a woman.

[avgas]

Assume the population is 60% women, of which 25% were abused, carry the 1.....minus the number of men.......
= 92% of women complain about something.
Aren't statistics lovely

[avgas]

Sexual abuse is never ok. I cannot understand how guys can do this...? As a guy I cannot comprehend the harm that it would do to a woman.
Very true, as with harming anyone for no damn reason is bad.
I'm not saying that you are wrong about this crusade - i just fear for all the women out there that do complain, one day the judge will just believe they are crying "Wolf". Or do we need to bring up certain police cases?

[Colapop]

This is not a crusade. I was just surprised by stats (however right or wrong) and have always felt that it is better to have reasonable discussion about a topic than ignore it in the hopes that it doesn't exist.

[u4ea]

i voted yes... wont go in to details, but if anyone knows a fix, let me know. counselling didnt work.


We are whats called "damaged goods".....am thankfull Im not sitting in a corner rocking..Apparently if I have regressive therapy the memories will destroy me..Happy Happy Joy Joy

[James Deuce]

And I'm not talking about behaviour that might have been acceptable in times gone by (eg a smack on the bottom). This is stuff that is serious abuse and has never been ok.

Neither was I. What I REALLY want to know is, why it is OK to abuse, sexually or otherwise, boys and men? Why does everyone just shrug and go, "whatever", whenever anyone brings it up? Why do women get funding, research, newspaper articles, and everything they say accepted as truth, where men are likely to end up be shunned if they dare open their mouths?

Offending rates against children won't have a gender bias. I guarantee it. It will just be reporting rates that differ.

When are women going to stand up and help sort out the denial that it doesn't happen to little boys, or if it does the general, unspoken consensus seems to be that they deserve it for being male?

[Colapop]

Very true words Jim. Thank you for making this point also.

[u4ea]

Neither was I. What I REALLY want to know is, why it is OK to abuse, sexually or otherwise, boys and men? Why does everyone just shrug and go, "whatever", whenever anyone brings it up? Why do women get funding, research, newspaper articles, and everything they say accepted as truth, where men are likely to end up be shunned if they dare open their mouths?

Offending rates against children won't have a gender bias. I guarantee it. It will just be reporting rates that differ.

When are women going to stand up and help sort out the denial that it doesn't happen to little boys, or if it does the general, unspoken consensus seems to be that they deserve it for being male?

I know two men who were sexually abused and they are both alchaholics.Another who has taken years to build his life and open up to his wife.Men are not as forward about telling anyone as it's not masculan to have your manhood removed is it?

[deanohit]

Rap videos....? I'm not too impressed with the incredibly early sexualisation of kids, girls or boys.
Too true!

But back on topic - this is serious shit. I've had a couple of fantastic women confide in me over the years that they have suffered sexual abuse at the hands of an older relative (one was an older girl at that point of 'experimenting') and it's done all manner of damage.
I had a girlfriend like that a few years back. When I first met her she was a wreck, dunno what it was about her, but we clicked straight away (rare for me). Took her awhile to become comfortable with me being around and we were together about 6 monthes before she had to go back to the States. Haven't heard from her since, but her dad emailed me soon after to say she was back with her old crowd of friends again and a mess. :(

Some seem to react by being overly sexual, others by being almost frigid. It sure destroys any notions of what a 'normal sexual response' is.
Yep true. She was very fridgid until she realised I wasn't there just for sex. After she realised that, I had to tell her to slow down as I wanted her to be sure first. We'd both suffered abuse (sexual for her, physical for me) as kids, but she was way more fucked up than I ever was. I'm just sad that she was finally getting better and is now back down again. :no:

[deanohit]

I know two men who were sexually abused and they are both alchaholics.Another who has taken years to build his life and open up to his wife.Men are not as forward about telling anyone as it's not masculin to have your manhood removed is it?

Exactly, not many of my old friends know I used to get beat up as I was afraid of my stepdad finding out I had told some one, but now, I'm to the stage of where I say "fuck it, I'm me, damaged and fucked up, but still me" and if he ever tries to cause any more shit for my mum, brothers, or me, he's gonna wish the cops had got him first.

[surfchick]

Neither was I. What I REALLY want to know is, why it is OK to abuse, sexually or otherwise, boys and men? Why does everyone just shrug and go, "whatever", whenever anyone brings it up? Why do women get funding, research, newspaper articles, and everything they say accepted as truth, where men are likely to end up be shunned if they dare open their mouths?

Offending rates against children won't have a gender bias. I guarantee it. It will just be reporting rates that differ.

When are women going to stand up and help sort out the denial that it doesn't happen to little boys, or if it does the general, unspoken consensus seems to be that they deserve it for being male?

absolutely happens to young boys. so many cases in which the parents won't ever know either. (priests abusing boys then passing the abused boy from one priest to the other). unforgiveable.

[Trudes]

What I REALLY want to know is, why it is OK to abuse, sexually or otherwise, boys and men? Why does everyone just shrug and go, "whatever", whenever anyone brings it up? Why do women get funding, research, newspaper articles, and everything they say accepted as truth, where men are likely to end up be shunned if they dare open their mouths?



Interesting isn't it.
I was at a First Aid course the other week and we were discussing broken bits of bodies, and this woman in her 40s says "I broke a bone in my hand", Instructor says "how'd you do that", woman says "I punched my hubby in the head" Quite serious like, everyone laughs, I say to the group "I don't think that's terribly funny, if she was a man saying that he broke his hand punching his wife in the head, you'd all be jumping on him for it, how is this any different?", crowd goes silent.

[Nasty]

I think I am lucky ... I was never sexually abused .. and I don't think others in my family were .. but would have not idea ... one of the guys I grew up with ... his mother abused him for years ... it was not until I was an adult that mum told me ... I am sickened that she got away with that.

I was, however, mentally and emotionally abused ... you will be nothing ... barefoot and pregnant by 18 ... you are shit .... useless ... etc ... and this is from other extended members of my family .... all I can say is that I never believe what other people say ... and never ever do what they predict!

[Goblin]

And yes, I can well believe that 25% of women have been victims of it.
Some prefer the term "Survivor"

In some ways boys are more vulnerable to abuse than girls because it is far more unspeakable for it to happen to a boy. The shame and guilt never ends.

Im slightly confused by the poll options. Is the option for men to indicate that they have been abused or not?

The figures for the women so far is looking more like 50/50 than 25%. I believe the reason for that is that more people are willing to talk about it once they mature. Children are still being abused as much as ever and its still the best kept secret. It's not until later in life that alot of people can actually face it and talk about it. Paedophiles are the most cunning, manipulative and evil people out there.

[Mom]

Some prefer the term "Survivor"

In some ways boys are more vulnerable to abuse than girls because it is far more unspeakable for it to happen to a boy. The shame and guilt never ends.

Im slightly confused by the poll options. Is the option for men to indicate that they have been abused or not?

The figures for the women so far is looking more like 50/50 than 25%. I believe the reason for that is that more people are willing to talk about it once they mature. Children are still being abused as much as ever and its still the best kept secret. It's not until later in life that alot of people can actually face it and talk about it. Paedophiles are the most cunning, manipulative and evil people out there.

I have never been sexually abused.
This subject is a hidden and dark secret that needs to be dragged out of the cupboard. Yes Goblin, you are so right, it is boys as much as girls, but I guess our current society still touts the men are tough route, when most of us know that they are wonderfully strong and very soft. Dont take me wrong, men need to be strong and use the protect and provide gene as much as a woman needs to use her I am not feeble, weak and unworthy one. BUT, we are all entitled to be treated as decent, precious, intelligent, worthy individuals. Sad statistics used here.

Survivors of the world unite!

[Lteejay]

What bullshit stats - I would love to see what they have termed 'sexual abuse' and if their sample of women is representative of the larger demographic. I'm not trying to be insensitive to those who have been sexually abused, because it is a bloody horrible thing to happen to anyone. But this sort of irresponsible publishing does not help anyone. There are too many studies out there that have a poor research approach and are not rigorous enough. I have some involvement in the medical research field and I am embarrased this has been done at my Uni. I would love to look at their research notes.

Rant over

[car]

The figures for the women so far is looking more like 50/50 than 25%. I believe the reason for that is that more people are willing to talk about it once they mature.

Or abused women are over-represented amongst women motorcyclists. Or abused women are over-represented amongst technically sophisticated women.

[Mrs Cowboyz]

Neither was I. What I REALLY want to know is, why it is OK to abuse, sexually or otherwise, boys and men? Why does everyone just shrug and go, "whatever", whenever anyone brings it up? Why do women get funding, research, newspaper articles, and everything they say accepted as truth, where men are likely to end up be shunned if they dare open their mouths?

Offending rates against children won't have a gender bias. I guarantee it. It will just be reporting rates that differ.

When are women going to stand up and help sort out the denial that it doesn't happen to little boys, or if it does the general, unspoken consensus seems to be that they deserve it for being male?

Couldnt agree more jim2. Its a pity but it goes like this.....Real men are not allowed to cry, Real men are not allowed to nark, Real men are not allowed to show emotion, Real men are not allowed to have feelings...etc etc. This is why women have funding and shelters and high statistics.
Until society changes (and it wont anytime in the near future) these things will not change.

[tri boy]

if anyone knows a fix, let me know. counselling didnt work.

I'm not sure if there is a fix for any trauma along these lines,but finding good decent people that help support and nurture the people that go through this stuff is about the best therapy I can think of.
Having friends you can trust and rely on are the greatest people that we all hopefully have. :grouphug:
And I guess not letting past events hinder your future.:niceone:

[Mrs Cowboyz]

They can do as many polls of how many women/men have been abused as they want...how does it help solve anything regardless of the numbers?

[Beemer]

I find those figures hard to believe. I realise it's not the type of thing many people would spill their guts about, but none of my female friends has ever mentioned being abused as a child. I grew up in Hastings, Wainuiomata and Whakatane - so perhaps I'm more at risk of being a terrorist!

[98tls]

I reckon 99% of blokes over a certain age will have suffered what would be defined as abuse these days. Second guessing historical models of discipline and abuse is futile. That was then, this is now. Get over it.

Like any public survey/study in NZ it is designed to create advertising revenue and bolster an industry that makes money out of misery.
Absolutly,it seems that women who live in Auckland and the Waikato talk for the rest of the country.Thank god ACC doesnt do the $10,000 hand out with no questions asked anymore.I have no doubt there are many sufferers of abuse in this country but theres many more that cry abuse when confronted with facing reality.

[Storm]

Out of the 7 or so women I've gone out with/been invloved with, 4 had "issues". Not a massive range I'll grant you, but I was shocked- I thought it was a rarity. Since talking to other women, I've been shocked still further by how many have also been abused.
As other have said, I know a lot of guys, and not one has ever said anything- say what you will about statistics, but commen sense says there's plenty of men keeping quiet.
I know I will be keeping an eagle eye on my child.

[Sanx]

I also find these figures very hard to believe, despite two of the three women I've had long-term relationships with having suffered exactly this kind of abuse. I also would like to know exactly what they class as sexual abuse, and what questions were asked; something conspicuous by its absence in The Harold's article.

But what really pisses me off is this paragraph in the report:
"Maori women were more likely to report child sexual abuse compared with women from other ethnic groups, highlighting the need for culturally appropriate services."

What this highlights to me is that, yet again, Maori mysteriously appear to be over-represented in another negative statistic, and no doubt, this will all be white man's fault. Again. All the shite that gets spouted about whanau and its importance will get conveniently ignored, instead of being subjected to the ridicule it so richly deserves. Instead, the government will spend vast amounts of time pandering the Maori cultural demands to develop culturally appropriate services to address the end result, rather than finding the sick bastards responsible, castrating them, and then releasing them into general population in the local jail. And all because targetting Maori offenders is a sure fire way to set the Sharples-Turea-Honewera bandwagon into motion; no doubt daring to arrest any Maori for fiddling with their own kids would also be culturally inappropriate.

[jonbuoy]

There is a treatment - bolt cutters for genitalia and hands.

[Xile]

There is a treatment - bolt cutters for genitalia and hands.

+1
Farking weird brainless people!!! how can you do that (to a child, woman, man, whoever!)?????

[The Stranger]

So according to the study 25% of women have been sexually abused as a child.
On first glance that suggests that around 25% of males are pedophiles.
Am I interpretting this right?

That's farken mind blowing.

[James Deuce]

So according to the study 25% of women have been sexually abused as a child.
On first glance that suggests that around 25% of males are pedophiles.
Am I interpretting this right?

That's farken mind blowing.
It's not a 1 to 1 relationship between victim and accuser. On one jury I was on the defendant had been accused of victimising dozens of his relatives and their friends.

[Ocean1]

On first glance that suggests that around 25% of males are pedophiles.
Am I interpretting this right?

No, of course not. It doesn't take anywhere near that many arseholes to account for the numbers. If each was responsible for 10 "incidences" you could say 2.5% of males might be responsible. I doubt it's anywhere near even that number.

I'd also be careful about quoting numbers from a survey when we know little about the definitions or methodology used.

[Sanx]

So according to the study 25% of women have been sexually abused as a child.
On first glance that suggests that around 25% of males are pedophiles.
Am I interpretting this right?

No - you're not.

However, if you substitute the phrase "Catholic priests" for "males", you might be on the money.

[mstriumph]

Sexual abuse is never ok. I cannot understand how guys can do this...? As a guy I cannot comprehend the harm that it would do to a woman.

i was abused by a FEMALE deputy 'brown owl' at a brownie camp when i was 10

----- how BLOODY SEXIST is it to assume it's only blokes that are the authors of abuse???






ps - i'm ok -country gal - as soon as i realised wat she was up to i kneed her in the crotch ............. no problem ....... but she was female - FEMALE

[Colapop]

Im slightly confused by the poll options. Is the option for men to indicate that they have been abused or not?
The poll option was originally put there because the article spoke of women being abused and knowing KB there are males that would complain bitterly that there was not an option for them.

i was abused by a FEMALE deputy 'brown owl' at a brownie camp when i was 10 ----- how BLOODY SEXIST is it to assume it's only blokes that are the authors of abuse???
ps - i'm ok -country gal - as soon as i realised what she was up to i kneed her in the crotch ............. no problem ....... but she was female - FEMALE
Yes sexist and for that I apologise. The abusers are predominantly male and as such garner the more attention, but there are more sides to the story than is first seen. The more often this is talked about the better we will be in stopping this sort of shit, hopefully.

[Finn]

I was abused by my rather cute form teacher when I was just 13. It happened on several occasions. When she got transferred to another school, I cried for a whole week.

I still miss her today.

[deanohit]

I was abused by my rather cute form teacher when I was just 13. It happened on several occasions. When she got transferred to another school, I cried for a whole week.

I still miss her today.

Because it was only last week maybe? :bleh:

[Dilligaf]

I find those figures hard to believe. I realise it's not the type of thing many people would spill their guts about, but none of my female friends has ever mentioned being abused as a child. I grew up in Hastings, Wainuiomata and Whakatane - so perhaps I'm more at risk of being a terrorist!

With respect, I have never told any of my friends exactly what kind of childhood I had. My husband knows and now only as a much older adult have I ever just started to say only that "I didn't have the best upbringing." But that's all I have ever told.
My school mates are probably still under the illusion that we were a nice normal middle class family.

[avgas]

This is not a crusade. I was just surprised by stats (however right or wrong) and have always felt that it is better to have reasonable discussion about a topic than ignore it in the hopes that it doesn't exist.
Global warming, violence in the home, the fuel crisis, the power crisis, skin cancer, drunk driving, speeding, p, eating McDonalds, smoking...... all subjects that have had the same blasting by the media.
But then again the media band wagon is the cheapest ride.
If someone needs to have everyone know that they were raped - i see no benefit. The punishment is too light for the crims.
Why direct all the attention to the victims (who may not want it) and avoid nipping the problem in the bud - by removing the crims.
But thats just me - im not about problems, only solutions.

[Usarka]

----- how BLOODY SEXIST is it to assume it's only blokes that are the authors of abuse???



True and its also FUCKING SEXIST that this study excluded half the population.

[Korumba]

I too find the stats somewhat hard to believe, but if just one life can be stopped from being screwed up by this, then I am happy. (Hopefully many more lives than just one.)

I bet there are a lot of very worried people out there just now and for each one that is prosecuted the chances of them doing it to anyone else decreases.

Bring on the next incorrect sexual abuse poll I say!

[Lteejay]

I too find the stats somewhat hard to believe, but if just one life can be stopped from being screwed up by this, then I am happy. (Hopefully many more lives than just one.)

I bet there are a lot of very worried people out there just now and for each one that is prosecuted the chances of them doing it to anyone else decreases.
Bring on the next incorrect sexual abuse poll I say!

This just creates fear in our community and I hate to say it, but men are usually on the receiving end of it. Men do not deserve the shitty image they get in the press and these sorts of ideas lead to the atrocious proceedings that were the Christchurch Creche proceedings.

[avgas]

This just creates fear in our community and I hate to say it, but men are usually on the receiving end of it. Men do not deserve the shitty image they get in the press and these sorts of ideas lead to the atrocious proceedings that were the Christchurch Creche proceedings.
I reckon, watch out women, 25% of you gonna get raped.
It's prob gonna be by some dodgey biker guy too!!!

[Colapop]

Nope. It's more like - more knowledge less likelihood of someone getting raped or molested. This isn't a witch hunt. Isn't being informed better than hiding your head in the sand and pretending things like this don't happen?

[mstriumph]

True and its also FUCKING SEXIST that this study excluded half the population.

well - mebbe narrowly-focused, yes - but there's nothing to stop you starting a pole about male abuse - in fact i'm suprised that no-one has, given the good debate that this one has led to?

[mstriumph]

.................The more often this is talked about the better we will be in stopping this sort of shit, hopefully.

absolutely!:yes:

[Korumba]

This just creates fear in our community and I hate to say it, but men are usually on the receiving end of it. Men do not deserve the shitty image they get in the press and these sorts of ideas lead to the atrocious proceedings that were the Christchurch Creche proceedings.

I agree there are innocent men out there.

It’s the ones that are not innocent that should be worried!

Its them that I would like caught and prosecuted.

Its one way of stopping this cycle.

[avgas]

Nope. It's more like - more knowledge less likelihood of someone getting raped or molested.
Not really - its not warning us that rape is not accepted. Its just telling us a number.
I'm sorry about this, but if the facts are stated as a survey result (for media - not a govt report), of such a matter - and then applied to the general population. I buy that as bullshit.
"Hello, excuse me ma'am - But have you been raped?"
Those who say yes are only wanting attention. Those that don't answer don't count.
Imagine a survey of men where they asked to take a picture of you penis, and put the results in a newspaper. Which men would agree to it? Should this result of penis sizes/images/shapes/colour then be applied to the whole population of men in NZ.
25% of fuck all, is not 25% of 4 million (not that 4 million were asked).
I would personally like to know how many people out there turn a blind eye to rape? As i wouldn't. Nor would any of my friends. If i raped someone, and even one of my closest friends knew, not only would i expect them to dob me in, i'd expect them to beat the shit out of me as well.
NZ has changed alot since the bad days of the 80's. Yet apparently we still need to live in a paranoia state.

[avgas]

well - mebbe narrowly-focused, yes - but there's nothing to stop you starting a pole about male abuse - in fact i'm suprised that no-one has, given the good debate that this one has led to?
Because unlike women, men dont talk about these things.
Men are suppose to have a rough exterior and be bulletproof.
I have seen some men breakdown (not due to rape), and to watch that is the most disheartening thing ever. You don't feel sad for them - you feel that the world has collapsed around them.
Seems now days that if you see a women cry, she is just being emotional.
Its the women that say nothing, and slink into the darkness on their own i am concerned about. No amount of shoving it in their face is going to make them feel any better.