PDA

View Full Version : So is this why??



PZR
28th July 2003, 21:04
I plagarised this from the Ulysses web site


just passing this along....

Ladies and Gentlemen .....wear Leather. If I could offer you only one tip for improving your life, leather would be it. The long
term benefits of leather have been proved by serious bikers over many roads and many years, whereas wearing something
unreliable like shorts and a T-shirt means you will experience a trip to accident and emergency. There, uncaring nurses will
scrub gravel out of your wounds, and doctors will dispense ineffective painkillers and meaningless advice... like telling you to
trade that "murdercycle" in for a Volvo.

Bullshit.

I will dispense some real advice right now:

Enjoy the power and beauty of your ride; if you don't already; you can fully enjoy it by doing long smoky burnout's in the
parking lot at the local shopping center.

Trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at the photos of you and your pals on your bikes and recall in a way you can't grasp now
how much fun you had and how fabulous you really looked hauling ass down the twisties dressed in leather. Leather is as sexy
as you imagine.

Don't worry about what your Mom thinks; or worry, but know that worrying about what other people think is as effective as
trying to scratch your nose in a blinding hailstorm at 80 m.p.h. with a full-face helmet and winter gloves on.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be soccer moms, driving minivans talking into their cell phones while doing their makeup;
the kind that blind side you at 4pm on some urban road and then claim you crashed into THEM.

Do one thing everyday that scares the hell out of other drivers ... Sing into your helmet. Use mouthwash first.

Don't be reckless with other people's bikes, especially if you don't have insurance. Don't put up with people who mess with
yours.... in fact, beat them with a chain.

Ride Fast.

Don't waste your money on chrome, or fancy paint jobs; spend it on racing or partying. Sometimes you're fast, sometimes
you're slow. Sometimes you're hung over. The ride is long, and in the end, a cold beer tastes pretty damn good.

Remember the good rides you've had, forget the cuts and bruises; try to wear out the sides of your tires before the middle.... if
you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your oil changed, throw away old speeding tickets.

Take chances.

Don't feel guilty if you ride faster than the posted limit ... the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 how to ride
conservatively, all the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't. Get plenty of saddle time.

Be kind to your passengers, you'll miss them if they fall off.

Maybe you'll crash, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have surgery, maybe you won't, maybe you'll ride a cruiser off a cliff doing
40, maybe you'll get a new trailie for your 75th birthday ... whatever you ride, don't congratulate yourself too much - your
choices are 90% foreign, 10% domestic, so are everyone else's.

Enjoy your bike, use it every way you can ... don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument of
pleasure you'll ever own, not counting that fully automatic machine gun you crazy assed uncle got for you.

Wrench! ... even if you have nowhere to do it but in your Mum's living room. Read the shop manual, even though you won't
remember any of it.

Do not read American motorcycle magazines, they will only make you wish you'd bought a Japanese one instead.

Get to know your brake pads, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your tires; they are your link to the pavement and the things most likely to save your butt from a nasty highside.

Understand that mechanics come and mechanics go, but for a precious talented few you should pay them well and buy them
beer.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older your bike gets, the more you'll need the mechanic
who worked on it when it was young and still not paid off.

Ride in Atlanta once, but leave before you get killed; ride in the country whenever possible, but leave a plausible excuse when
calling in sick for work.

Do wild wheelies.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, traffic will get worse, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that
when you were young, gas was cheap, the police couldn't catch you, and Harley owners weren't all yuppies.

Respect your rev-limiter.

Don't expect anyone else to see your bike unless it has really loud pipes.

Maybe your bike has a big fuel tank, maybe a smaller one; but remember, either way you'll have to make toilet stops.

Don't mess too much with your carburetors, or by the time you're done, you'll be walking home.

Be careful whose advice you buy, and save your receipts. Don't take advice from those who supply it for free, especially if they
own a Harley.

Motorcycle restoration is a form of self-torture. Doing it is a way of pulling the past from the dustbin, degreasing it, painting
over the rusty parts and dumping way more money into it than it's worth.

But trust me on the leather...

Coldkiwi
29th July 2003, 13:05
some wise words in there

Fully agree on the leather (or armoured cordura)... if you wear anything less,you are truly stupid and deserve to be slapped around.

as an angry militant mohawked psycho wold've once said 'I PITY THE FOOL THAT DON'T WEAR LEATHER!'

 

jrandom
29th July 2003, 13:37
Sing into your helmet

Anyone ever actually *done* this?

Duke of Rogan
29th July 2003, 13:45
very good re-write of the "suncream song".

sing into helmet? maybe once of twice but then realised I was only pissing off myself :p

fergie
29th July 2003, 14:24
i always sing into my helmet? we all do ,,,right?:confused:

Slim
29th July 2003, 15:32
Right! :rockon:

Coldkiwi
29th July 2003, 15:52
I certainly have sung into my helmet! :D I couldn't stop singing and laughing when I got the ZX-6R back from the shop last week after having put up with my 250 farting on three cylinders for the previous week.

I was whooping and saying all sorts of silly things and making very silly noises (none of which I am going to repeat here for fear of being correctly labelled a complete nutter). I was in such a good mood that I was about one step away from barking at the cars I was overtaking! I'm sure they could hear me as I went past anyway :rockon:

 

my advice on wearing out the edges of tyres first... live near a racetrack and go nuts at every opportunity! Either that or forget to reduce the air pressures before going out for a good hard thrash through the twisties.. that seemed to marble my rear tyre rather quickly!

jrandom
29th July 2003, 16:22
Hmmmm.

You see, riding home t'other night, for no particular reason, I started singing 'Daydream Believer' into my helmet.

Got stuck on the second verse, though, so I had to keep going back and starting from the beginning. Once I got onto the motorway, of course, I had to sing real loud to hear myself over the wind and engine noise.

Is this normal?

... cheer up, sleepy Jean :whistle:

Urban Terrorist
29th July 2003, 16:43
Of course its normal. As normal as singing Born To Be Wild on an RG50.:D

jrandom
29th July 2003, 16:49
As normal as singing Born To Be Wild on an RG50

RG50? Perhaps 'What Have I Done to Deserve This' by the Pet Shop Boys would be more appropriate :p

Coldkiwi
29th July 2003, 17:54
Originally posted by jrandom
RG50? Perhaps 'What Have I Done to Deserve This' by the Pet Shop Boys would be more appropriate :p

ahhh, jrandom speaks wise words!!

I just have to watch myself that I don't start singing 'Boom' by P.O.D (love that remix too) or i start enjoying myself too much and stop concentrating on the corners and cage drivers trying to kill me! .. still... beats getting Bob Dylan or Sheryl Crow stuck in my head!

PZR
29th July 2003, 21:51
Singing Hmmmm?
I think (hope) most of you will understand this....
Sometimes I ride along concentrating as we all need to do, to avoid all the wankers who can't tell the differance between their steering wheel and their cell phone.
And as I concentrate hard on the skills I need to survive out there in the rain or cow shit or road works or cage drivers or a thousand other things likely to kill or maim me I remember the most important thing of all. Something that makes me grin from ear to ear
"I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY F...ING LIFE"
So, as I can't sing, and rarely remember more than the chorus anyway I can scream and shout with the joy, with the pleasure I find in pushing my limits, with enjoying my life and making my heart pump and my blood flow :niceone:

scumdog
29th July 2003, 22:32
Yeah, I sing in my helmet (full-face has best accoustics) and you can get the most amazing sound effects too!!! You can sing as loud as you want and almost nobody can hear you, not even your doris on the back (unless you are doing under 50kph)
California Dreaming is good plus of course Born to be Wild.

figjam
30th July 2003, 10:28
It's also a good way to stay awake when you're getting tired.

PZR
30th July 2003, 12:21
Hell Scumdog, riding a Harley you can't even hear yourself think let alone sing and shout, never mind whats'er name on the back

Dave
30th July 2003, 15:39
Knew a guy that was feeling crook who sung chunks into his helmet once-Gross