Honda Plainclothes gets GiJoe1313 and Xerxesdaphat!

[xwhatsit]

So it's Sunday night, I flick GiJoe1313 a message online and ask if he wants to go for a wee roam around the city.

Mission Bay at about 11pm; he's in front going along Tamaki Drive, I'm sitting behind in a stagger. There's a new grey Honda Civic in front, going bang on the speed limit. He pulls over and lets us through -- how nice!

Get to the end of Tamaki Drive, we pull off to Cliff Rd and make our way up into the urban twisties that lie off many side roads up there. Curiously, the Honda is still right behind me, despite many turn-offs and side-roads. Slowly I begin to realise -- it's a plain-clothes :pinch: Two men in the front seats, perfect road manners, let us through so he could tail us. Instantly I begin to drive as if I were doing a licence test. Bang on 50kph or just below, stop at every stop sign, both feet down -- but most of all keep staring in the mirrors.

Meanwhile Justin slowly disappears from my view.

On a longish straight bit of road, no yellow lines, the Honda carefully indicates and overtakes, then indicates back into his own lane. Perfectly by the book. He takes off, clearly after Justin (as he's the bigger speeder and I seem to be holding the coppers up so he can get away).

Further up the road I come across Justin and the Honda. Justin's parked up outside a shut dairy, just taking his helmet off. The Honda's got its hazard lights on and the coppers are just about to get out of the car. Am I going to hang around, at 11.30pm or so on a leaner's licence with no L-plate? Hell no. Off I head, up into the hills, as many side-streets as I can go on.

Find some trees by the side of the road, switch the lights off, rip off helmet + jacket + gloves and leave them with the bike under the trees. Pull out phone and text Justin, `Police?'. No reply. I wait what seems like 15 minutes, munching on a muesli bar, hands shaking. Really quite scared. Don't need $800 fine. Seems like a dumb idea to go for a ride now.

Finally I build up enough courage to go back; if they're still there, I won't even look, I'll just go straight home, get an alibi, and hide under my bed for a week.

I ride past, Justin and the coppers are waving at me. Do I carry on? No, Justin really wants me to stop. I pull in.

Get off bike, Justin and the coppers walk up to me. The driver-copper comes up to me.

It's fucking Zapf.

`I thought you were a fucking plainclothes!!!!! :pinch::pinch::pinch::pinch::pinch::pinch::pinch:'

Justin asks me where the bloody hell I'd gone while they were chatting.

They laughed at my expense for a good hour or so while we had coffee at Mission Bay. Bastards.

I've told Zapf he needs to give the KB wave (we all know how to do that by now, right?) to bikers from now on, just in case they shit themselves, panic, and take to the hills.

Met JSG and a friend of his, and re-met a KBer whose name I've since forgotten (doesn't post much, sorry dude) who I met on my first ever KB ride. After coffee Justin and I didn't get back til about 2am-2.30am, took in the sights of Devonport, unmolested by any kind of law enforcement. Love the empty night roads. Wish there wasn't a curfew for un-full-licence-holders.

[McJim]

And there was me thinking you'd been trying to get a ticket just to prove it can go that fast! :rofl:

[James Deuce]

I should red rep you for the "Kiwibiker Wave" crack.

I'm going outside into the thunderstorm holding a TV antenna. I can't bear the thought of all the new Wave threads that will pop up after this post.

Zapf is getting some green though. He should do that more often.

[jrandom]

:D

:lol:

Biggest smile I've had all day, sir. Thank you.

[nudemetalz]

Ha ha great story, xerxesdaphat !!! :Police: :doh:

[JMemonic]

What a great way to tell the story, well done in the manner of telling the tale.

[Matt_TG]

I agree with the above, a story very well told, nice one!

[gijoe1313]

The funny thing was he texted me on the cellyphony ... "Police?"

And I replied "Come back. They are my mates!"

And I wanted to wait a few seconds and then send "Actually, they are rozzers and I'm dobbing you in for a lighter sentence!" :devil2:

When I saw Xerxes riding up the hill, far into the night and away I was thinking "wth ... you meant to have my back man!"

Zapf's face with Duckaddict riding shotgun just had me cracking up, soon as I saw him, I split my sides with laughter! Anyway, we had a good chinwag and it was funnier watching Duckaddict turning blue from the bracing night air.

We could even hear Xerxes bike thumping along the back streets up the hill... until it stopped (to park under a tree and munch a museli bar)

Blardy funny! Had us all in stitches ... and it was strange to see Zapf in a cage (guess it's like a dirty secret that no one cares to admit to!)
I was worried a bit when I saw the cage lights without Xerxes first! I was going to turn around, but saw his lights as Zapf pulled up.

[Disco Dan]

What I cant help thinking... is what made you pull over when the car(zapf) did not have disco lights???

Blimin funny story!!!! :2thumbsup

[Disco Dan]

I should red rep you for the "Kiwibiker Wave" crack.

I'm going outside into the thunderstorm holding a TV antenna. I can't bear the thought of all the new Wave threads that will pop up after this post.

Zapf is getting some green though. He should do that more often.


Huh? Did I miss the new "KB Wave" thread??

Tempted to start a thread to find out...................... :niceone::devil2:

[Chrislost]

there is a book called the wave.
i saw it in the library at school many years ago.

blarty bs and i wish i hadnt been reminded about it.

[Boob Johnson]

Baa ha ha, great story dude, well said, bling sent :niceone:

[imdying]

Huh? Did I miss the new "KB Wave" thread??

Tempted to start a thread to find out...................... :niceone::devil2:

Look up 'the shocker', as sanctioned by spankme himself :yes:

[MSTRS]

Excellent story, one step down from the one posted by 'the wife'...
...and welcome back McJim - it's been too long.

[janno]

Xerxesdaphat for this year's bravery awards!! Ya big chicken . . .

[Crisis management]

And there was me thinking you'd been trying to get a ticket just to prove it can go that fast! :rofl:

Do I hear Hotel California playing in the background?

[klyong82]

Green bling bling for you Xerxes. Great story.

[kneescraper]

Great story mate, gotta love the fact that you hid to let G I Joe take a rap...funny thing is I would do the same :):)

Funny!

[McJim]

Do I hear Hotel California playing in the background?

Oh I think any thread suggesting that either gijoe1313 or Xerxesdaphat got pinged by a copper would draw anyone back. Those 2 speeding? Not even a crocodile could swallow that! :rofl:

[xwhatsit]

Oh I think any thread suggesting that either gijoe1313 or Xerxesdaphat got pinged by a copper would draw anyone back. Those 2 speeding? Not even a crocodile could swallow that! :rofl:

Hey that's not fair. I beat a 50cc Vespa off the lights this evening.

[McJim]

Hey that's not fair. I beat a 50cc Vespa off the lights this evening.

Ach ye know I'm just jesting widya! How's yer trumpet playing?

[darkwolf]

What literally got off your bike and beat him? That's just mean.

[The Pastor]

Bahahahahha good write up, lol honda drivers!

Oh wait I own two hondas :(

[xwhatsit]

Ach ye know I'm just jesting widya! How's yer trumpet playing?
My lips are as saggy and numb as your grandfather's grandmother's tits. It doesn't take very long, does it?

What literally got off your bike and beat him? That's just mean.
I should've. Queer little Ponsonby boys with their Davida lids and Burberry scarves. They do make a good soy latté though :rolleyes:

[klingon]

Brilliant story! :laugh: Unfortunately I've run out of bling to give you :(
But reading that really has been one of the highlights of my day. (yeah I've had a very boring day) :sleep:

[gijoe1313]

Oh I think any thread suggesting that either gijoe1313 or Xerxesdaphat got pinged by a copper would draw anyone back. Those 2 speeding? Not even a crocodile could swallow that! :rofl:

:oi-grr: Just cause I ride like a nana ... and ... to be honest, I didn't think it was a copper in the first place :lol: My first thought was "oh lord, they're here to tell me that Xerxes gone and binned it"

I think even more strange is that it's attracted a Scotsman out of hiding in the deep south, where even I cannot hear the rumble of the Duchess!

so, Xerxes, when you going to shoehorn in a larger cc single thumper into Natalie? :whistle:

[FROSTY]

one question--what on earth made you think any copper would be seen dead in a grey hoinda CIVIC????:devil2::devil2::devil2:
And--youmeantallthis happened at 9.50pm diddnt ya?

[gijoe1313]

one question--what on earth made you think any copper would be seen dead in a grey hoinda CIVIC????:devil2::devil2::devil2:
And--youmeantallthis happened at 9.50pm diddnt ya?

:oi-grr: Aye, therein lies the rub, noobie noob Xerxes couldn't tell the difference, the padawan has a lot to learn Master Jedi Frosty! As for me, I ride like a nana...

[scumdog]

Mwahahaha, you paranoid geek xerxes!!

Bloody good laugh dude!

[deanohit]

Bwahahahaha, know exactly how you felt man!

That bloody GIJoe aye, he's trouble!

[Zapf]

one question--what on earth made you think any copper would be seen dead in a grey hoinda CIVIC????:devil2::devil2::devil2:
And--youmeantallthis happened at 9.50pm diddnt ya?

Funny enough someone did confirm to me they have one or two Civic's as undercovers... :Police:

[xwhatsit]

Mwahahaha, you paranoid geek xerxes!!

I'm not paranoid! I know for a fact GiJoe1313 and I are two of the most wanted motorcycle criminals in all of NZ!

Him for his ludicrously crass and vulgar red camo gear -- me for my non-standard headlight, and once in December last year I rode on the footpath outside Mt Eden shops.

[FROSTY]

ATT MR MOTORCYCLIST-- thanks to 125 amend b section c5 of the motorcycle crimes act 2007 you are being sent an infringement notice for failing to assist a fellow biker. you could send in an apeal letter but we will just pin it on the bullitin board and throw darts at it for being pathetic

[Donor]

I'm not paranoid! I know for a fact GiJoe1313 and I are two of the most wanted motorcycle criminals in all of NZ!

Him for his ludicrously crass and vulgar red camo gear -- me for my non-standard headlight, and once in December last year I rode on the footpath outside Mt Eden shops.

You b'stards!

That's it - after such horrific crimes finally being admitted in the public arena, I'll be off to the law courts this day to have the protection/non molestation orders renewed against you!

[yungatart]

Very funny story...priceless, actually!
For everything else there is Mastercard!:clap::clap:

[90s]

I'm the pol-ice reading this now. I've got you - quick - RUN!

[gijoe1313]

I'm not paranoid! I know for a fact GiJoe1313 and I are two of the most wanted motorcycle criminals in all of NZ!

Him for his ludicrously crass and vulgar red camo gear -- me for my non-standard headlight, and once in December last year I rode on the footpath outside Mt Eden shops.

I highly resemble that statement! I have you know I can be crassly ludicrous and vulgarily red all by myself! :oi-grr: This coming from a wet-behind the ears whelp who acted more like a poultry fiend when a fellow biker was waiting up for him! The Honda fag car was just a bonus in the tale!

And yes, the reason why I pulled over was to wait for Xerxes ... who was busy laying a trail of eggs and feathers behind the Civic.

The fox has left the coop and it's no use crying over broken eggs now! A right feather in the young'uns cap and I'll thank the sticky beaks to stop pecking now... It's a fowl day when you can't count on the chickens in your basket! Tsk... it does make for a poultry tail indeed.:shutup: