F*$k I'M HARD!! really really fucking hard!!

[cowpoos]

Cowpoos uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Cowpoos tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Cowpoos has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Cowpoos can kill him and take it.

Cowpoos once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Cowpoos doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Cowpoos what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he crashes a gixxer into your face.

Cowpoos only masturbates to pictures of Cowpoos. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Cowpoos instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Cowpoos appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to crash a gixxer. When asked bout this "glitch," Poo's replied, "That's no glitch."

Cowpoos lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1979, the year Cowpoos was born, Suzuki related motorcyle crashes have increased 13,000 percent.

Cowpoos sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled riding ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Cowpoos crashed a gixxer into the devils face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Cowpoos brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Cowpoos crashed a gixxer into the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Cowpoos giveth, and the good Cowpoos, he taketh away.

Cowpoos girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF COWPOOS'" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Poo's!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Cowpoos does not sleep. He passes out pissed

Cowpoos built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Cowpoos met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Cowpoos is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Cowpoos.

Cowpoos was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Cowpoos omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of gixxer related deaths.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer.Cowpoos smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

There are no disabled people. Only people who Cowpoos has slept with!

Cowpoos does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

There is no chin behind Cowpoos beard. There is only another fist.

Cowpoos once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Cowpoos roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Cowpoos--more than meets the eye, Cowpoos--robot in disguise," and starred Cowpoos as a super hero on a motorbike who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a gixxer. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however,Poo's rid the earth of the decepticons in 5mins flat,so Poo's was replace with a cartoon character instead.

Cowpoos is currently suing greg's, claiming sugar and spice are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When Cowpoos plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather gixxer crashes to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

It was once believed that Cowpoos actually lost a fight to a Honda rider, but that is a lie, created by Cowpoos himself to lure more Honda riders to him. Honda riders never were very smart.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Cowpoos.

If you can see Cowpoos, he can see you. If you can't see Cowpoos, you may be only seconds away from having a gixxer crashed into your face.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Cowpoos took over.

When Cowpoos awesome riding prowess fails to resolve a situation,...oh wait...it hasn't!

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Cowpoos.

Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Cowpoos, who crashed a gixxer so hard in to their faces, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Cowpoos.

God offered Cowpoos the gift to fly,in exchange for his super riding abilities,which he swiftly declined,because god can't catch him!

Cowpoos drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

A duck's quack does not echo. Cowpoos is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why? he will simply stare at you, grimly.

Cowpoos once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Poo's lost, he won in life by crashing a gixxer in to the side of Kasparov's face.

Cowpoos doesn't believe in German beer.

If you want a list of Cowpoos enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Cowpoos has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Cowpoos once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Cowpoos doesn't need to swallow when eating food.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Cowpoos.

Ironically, Cowpoos hidden talent is invisibility.

Cowpoos eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

Cowpoos owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

Cowpoos invented a language that incorporates motorcycle stunting and riding.So next time Cowpoos is kicking your ass on a track, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your helmet.

Cowpoos invented water.

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Cowpoos accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Contrary to popular belief, Cowpoos, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly crashed into by a motorbike.

Cowpoos is Luke Skywalker's real father.

Cowpoos does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Cowpoos crashed his gixxer into every tree in existance.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Cowpoos can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Cowpoos calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Mr Poo's.

Cowpoos once went to the virgin Islands. They are now 'the Islands'

On a high school math test, Cowpoos put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Cowpoo's solves all his problems with Violence.

Once a cobra bit Cowpoos leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Cowpoos.

Superman owns a pair of Cowpoos Pajamas.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Cowpoos says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Cowpoos banging your sister.

Cowpoos dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Cowpoos will not take shit from anyone.

Cowpoos doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Cowpoos PC will crash.

When Cowpoos goes cow-tipping, he lifts a cow up and drop kicks it into the neighboring farm. All the other cows simply tip themselves over to keep from having to walk back in the dark.

Cowpoos has to maintain a concealed weapon license in order to legally wear pants.

Cowpoos likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Cowpoo's cart wheeling gixxer flying through the infield.

Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Cowpoos during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

Cowpoos recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as TUI ;)

[Colapop]

One and a half laps....

[Mom]

Cowpoos rehashes terribly stale old hackneyed joke and claims it for his own!

COWPOOS IS MY HERO!!!!!!!!!!!

No, really I mean it, he gives the nicest hugs :msn-wink:

[Trudes]

I always thought there was a certain "something" about you Poos, oops, I mean Mr. Poos. :not:

[Supermoto Junkie]

And I though Mr T was tough....but you're like..........:gob:

[sisterecho]

One and a half laps....

Twice.....

[Coyote]

Funny you should say that, Chuck Norris is believed to be/have done all that stuff

I like how you censor 'fuck', but not 'fucking'.

[cowpoos]

And I though Mr T was tough....but you're like..........:gob:
Mr. T once defeated Cowpoos in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Cowpoos invented racism.

[Str8 Jacket]

I love you Mr Poos! :love:

[Wolf]

Cowpoos is a wimp! I get strayjuliet to iron my shirts while I'm still fucking wearing them and the popular computer game "Doom" is based on the time I loaned a buck to the Devil and the prick didn't pay it back...

:2guns:

[NighthawkNZ]

When Cowpoos has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Cowpoos sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled riding ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Cowpoos crashed a gixxer into the devils face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Cowpoos was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Cowpoos omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of gixxer related deaths.
There are no disabled people. Only people who Cowpoos has slept with!

A duck's quack does not echo. Cowpoos is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why? he will simply stare at you, grimly.

Cowpoos invented water.

Cowpoos dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

Cowpoos is Luke Skywalker's real father.




You nearly had me till you mentioned the above... Gay, needing to sell his soul, giving gifts, ducks (who gives a fuck about them other then good eating), water is tasteess, Chuck Norris is a wimp... and Ithought it was suppose to be a cow... being a father pffft... you care to much... thats not tough... being tough is not to care.. . and I don't f#*king care...

[Curious_AJ]

I smell a challenge...

[The Pastor]

Cowpoos dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.


Cowpoos is chuck norris ;)

[Big Dan]

well that was a waste of my eyes reading

[cowpoos]

I smell
Cowpoos is not interested in porridge...

[NighthawkNZ]

I smell a challenge...

Challenges bore me...

[Str8 Jacket]

Cowpoos is not interested in porridge...

If only I hadnt give you too much bling already! If only.... bwahahahahahahaha!

[puddy]

I always thought there was a certain "something" about you Poos, oops, I mean Mr. Poos. :not:
No! Don't you mean Sir Poos......King Poos............or Great One......

[skelstar]

Good grief Ryan :mellow:

[cowpoos]

well that was a waste of my eyes reading

Fuck I'm just impressed you can read! :niceone:

[oldrider]

Ive seen a lot of this sort of thing happen to nice young men who leave the farm too early.

Medics say its from wearing tight Shoei helmets, loose fitting jocks and riding Suzuki's too fast!

I will PM him a get well soon message ASAP. :yes: John.

[cowpoos]

Challenges bore me...


It was once believed that Cowpoos actually lost a fight to a Honda rider, but that is a lie, created by Cowpoos himself to lure more Honda riders to him. Honda riders never were very smart


:innocent: .................................................. ........................

[pritch]

I liked the one where Cowpoos was so tough his poopoos scared the flies away.

Ooops that's not there?

Ducks to avoid flying GSXR.

[Pex Adams]

Good grief Ryan :mellow:

I'm with Skelly!

[skelstar]

I'm with Skelly!
shoo shoo Suzuki rider!

[Big Dan]

Fuck I'm just impressed you can read! :niceone:

to be honest i didn't read it there was too much but i got the jist of what you were trying to say "your the shit" - hahahahaha
your not the shit but your fucking funny:niceone:

[NighthawkNZ]

to be honest i didn't read it there was too much but i got the jist of what you were trying to say "your the shit" - hahahahaha
your not the shit but your fucking funny:niceone:

thinks hes hot shit... but hes not even a cold fart warmed up???? :lol:

[James Deuce]

Chuck Norris will be around later to get his jokes back. Pray he doesn't use his chin fist.

[Big Dan]

thinks hes hot shit... but hes not even a cold fart warmed up???? :lol:

the only hot shit i've come accros is that of cows (oh the irony) when the shitted on the cow shed very warm on cold day:sunny:

[merv]

That was just too long to read for a guy like me so can you summarise what you were trying to say?

[James Deuce]

Let me do it Merv, Ryan's one thumb typing method is very tedious.

Cowpoos used a word processor to replace "Chuck Norris" with "Cowpoos" in every Chuck Norris joke known to man. Which of course are largely re-worked John Wayne jokes.

[cowpoos]

Let me do it Merv, Ryan's one thumb typing method is very tedious.

Cowpoos used a word processor to replace "Chuck Norris" with "Cowpoos" in every Chuck Norris joke known to man. Which of course are largely re-worked John Wayne jokes.
Cowpoos can't use a word proccessor. let alone spell one?

[merv]

... and there was me thinking there might have been something meaningful in there.

[Kendog]

I was not really believing all that until I saw this line :whistle:

crash a gixxer.

[cowpoos]

I was not really believing all that until I saw this line :whistle:
Cowpoos has a gixxer loaded with your name on it!

[Mikkel]

Cowpoos is chuck norris ;)

Twins perhaps?

I guess not, that's too much awesome for only just one existance.

[007XX]

I guess not, that's too much awesome for only just one existance.

The awesomeness that is Cowpoos is not to be comprehended by mere mortals...:not: It just is!!!

[Mikkel]

The awesomeness that is Cowpoos is not to be comprehended by mere mortals...:not: It just is!!!

I was not trying to comprehend it - I was just airing the possibility that the presence of such awesome might cause the very reality to fold unto itself leaving only Cowpoos and Chuck standing in the middle of nowhere... again... and having to make a new Big Bang is likely to piss them off for another 4 billion years...

[Mental Trousers]

I thought this was something to do with the pink theme.

[cowpoos]

Twins perhaps?

I guess not, that's too much awesome for only just one existance.
Cowpoos crashed a gixxer so hard into Chuck Norris's face that his beard fist came out his arse. Chuck Norris now cleans Poo's bike weekly for fear or another beating.

[kiwifruit]

Cowpoos does not sleep. He passes out pissed


:blank::laugh:

[007XX]

I was not trying to comprehend it - I was just airing the possibility that the presence of such awesome might cause the very reality to fold unto itself leaving only Cowpoos and Chuck standing in the middle of nowhere... again... and having to make a new Big Bang is likely to piss them off for another 4 billion years...

I don't think it's so much about Big Bang, as much as Gang Bang where this boy is concerned...:dodge: :rofl:

[Toaster]

Very very funny cowpoos... I can't stop laughing!

Everytime I look across the paddocks and see the cows taking a dump, I will think of you.

[Fatjim]

Cowpoos is a fag.

[Hitcher]

Cowpoos' use of the apostrophe is egregious. The BDOTGNZA has enlisted Chuck Norris' assistance in this regard. Chuck, apparently, loves poseurs.

[Tank]

Chuck Norris jokes are funny. But not if chuck Norris is telling them - then it becomes self congratulatory crap.:doh:

Bring back the Hoff jokes are funny (well some of them are) - but not if The HoffMan is telling them. (Actually he is also funny when rolling around pissed with a burger also - buts thats another post)

Cowpoos jokes are ...... well you get the idea.

P.S. Try crashing a Gixxer in my face and I'll "SPARTA" your arse! you have been warned

[NighthawkNZ]

Bring back the Hoff jokes are funny (well some of them are) - but not if The HoffMan is telling them. (Actually he is also funny when rolling around pissed with a burger also - buts thats another post)


Don't Hassle the Hoff... :lol:

[jrandom]

Cowpoos' use of the apostrophe is egregious. The BDOTGNZA has enlisted Chuck Norris' assistance in this regard. Chuck, apparently, loves poseurs.

I, personally, have always been in favour of an additional ess to follow possessively-apostrophe'd sibilants.

You, sir, are succumbing to insidious Murkn influence.

[cowpoos]

I, personally, have always been in favour of an additional ess to follow possessively-apostrophe'd sibilants.

You, sir, are succumbing to insidious Murkn influence.
yeah...your a murkin Hitcher!!! :nya:

[Tank]

You, sir, are succumbing to insidious Murkn influence.

mmm murkn....... taste like chicken.














or fish

[Hitcher]

I, personally, have always been in favour of an additional ess to follow possessively-apostrophe'd sibilants.

That's only because you want to keep up with the Joneses.

[Storm]

To borrow a schoolyard phrase:


"fight! fight! fight! fight!"

[Jimmy B]

When Cowpoos fangs his Gixer into the lake, he doesn’t get wet…the water gets poo’s

[cowpoos]

When Cowpoos fangs his Gixer into the lake, he doesn’t get wet…the water gets poo’s
nah...the water just gets the fuck out of the way!!

[Jimmy B]

nah...the water just gets the fuck out of the way!!

Haha, Theres no such thing as the theory of evolution....only a list of animals that Cowpoos lets live!!!

[Trudes]

Haha, Theres no such thing as the theory of evolution....only a list of animals that Cowpoos lets live!!!

hahaha, no more bling for you!! That is just too funny!:clap:

[Jimmy B]

In 2002 a total Lunar Eclipse was visible from South Australia at 3.30am AEST.What was widely believed to be the Earths Shadow then progressed along the Eastern Seaboard to Cairns and across Gulf of Carpentaria to the York Peninsular. This phenomenon has now been attributed to Cowpoos stirring from sleep and rolling onto his back for a dawn breaker. There were no survivors.

[007XX]

Soooooo...are we saying that we may have, at long last, found the missing link?

:lol:

*cowpoos, cowpoos, cowpoos....*

[Qkchk]

Cowpoos is that hard, Viagra use him as their spokesman.

[Jimmy B]

Cowpoos is that hard, Viagra use him as their spokesman.

When cowpoos works out at the gym, he doesn't get stronger...the machine does

[007XX]

Cowpoos is that hard, Viagra use him as their spokesman.

Cowpoos is that hard, a sample of his DNA has been frozen for posterity and put in a capsule sent out to space in hope any alien life form will see what fine specimen the human race is.

[Jimmy B]

Cowpoos doesnt have pubes....hair wont grow on stainless steel

[Sidewinder]

already knew the gay part was true

[homer]

Cowpoos is that hard, a sample of his DNA has been frozen for posterity and put in a capsule sent out to space in hope any alien life form will see what fine specimen the human race is.

reading the rest of the thread
Im guessing there is a super duper shrinker thingy to shrink the gixxer to fit in the capsule as well?

[homer]

you forgot one
Cowpoos is so tough irons his shirts while hes wearing them

[007XX]

reading the rest of the thread
Im guessing there is a super duper shrinker thingy to shrink the gixxer to fit in the capsule as well?

I thought they were pretty much one and the same...:lol:

Mind you, not so good now that the gixxer's got a broken arse! :shit: :laugh:

[cowpoos]

I thought they were pretty much one and the same...:lol:

Mind you, not so good now that the gixxer's got a broken arse! :shit: :laugh:
tank,front sub frame,fairings,clip-ons and blade...actually...sidewinder won't get smart again for awhile now!

[limbimtimwim]

Cowpoos' shits are so big that they are mistaken for continents.
<img src="http://www.gsfc.nasa.gov/ftp/earthpix/seawifs/australia092000.jpg">

Cowpoos' curry shits are so nasty they are mistaken for volcanic islands.
<img src="http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/gcsebitesize/geography/images/volcanic_island.jpg">
<img src="http://www.kimbawlion.com/volcanoislandc.jpg">

[Cr1MiNaL]

cant believe I jus read all that .... but it was so funy... but I aint blingin u for it... coz u took up 10 mins of my precious time... I'll just let u win next time on the track. 0.o

[007XX]

tank,front sub frame,fairings,clip-ons and blade...actually...sidewinder won't get smart again for awhile now!

:crazy::pinch::doh:

Poos, I feel for you...nah, really, I do! She sure was looking sore after that little twirl...

[cowpoos]

I'll just let u win next time on the track. 0.o

you'll let me??...thanks mate...appreciate it ;)


:crazy::pinch::doh:

Poos, I feel for you...nah, really, I do! She sure was looking sore after that little twirl...

meh...such is life it seems...

I raced it for a whole year with dented tank...miss coloured fairings...etc and finally I get around to painting and panel beating it...two days later...I bin it!! going horribly slow on the second lap!! murphy's law really!!

[007XX]

meh...such is life it seems...

I raced it for a whole year with dented tank...miss coloured fairings...etc and finally I get around to painting and panel beating it...two days later...I bin it!! going horribly slow on the second lap!! murphy's law really!!

Yeah, I hear ya! Just as well you're so hard, you walked away un-dented, eh?!? ;)

[Cr1MiNaL]

Yeah, I hear ya! Just as well you're so hard, you walked away un-dented, eh?!? ;)

cowpoos falls on track... dents everywhere... damn track had to be resurfaced.

[cowpoos]

cowpoos falls on track... dents everywhere... damn track had to be resurfaced.
manfield has been freashly resurfaced after I feel off...as ironic as it is...lmfao!!! ring them and ask!!

[007XX]

cowpoos falls on track... dents everywhere... damn track had to be resurfaced.


manfield has been freashly resurfaced after I feel off...as ironic as it is...lmfao!!! ring them and ask!!

Yep, they definitely have...wonder if they manage to get the imprint of your buns out of the track though...:laugh:

[Cr1MiNaL]

The first 3 things God made were the Sun, the Moon and Cowpoos.

The movie the good the bad and the ugly was originally named; the good, the bad and Cowpoos, until Cowpoos crashed a Gixxer into the director by mistake.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with Cowpoos.

Man used to travel by horse, until Cowpoos invented the Gixxer. Since then the Gixxer has always crashed more than other bikes.

[Disco Dan]

Disco Dan uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Disco Dan tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Disco Dan has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Disco Dan can kill him and take it.

Disco Dan once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Disco Dan doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Disco Dan what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he crashes a gixxer into your face.

Disco Dan only masturbates to pictures of Disco Dan. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Disco Dan instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Disco Dan appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to crash a gixxer. When asked bout this "glitch," Disco replied, "That's no glitch."

Disco Dan lost his virginity before his dad did.

Since 1983, the year Disco Dan was born, Suzuki related motorcyle crashes have increased 13,000 percent.

Disco Dan sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled riding ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Disco Dan crashed a gixxer into the devils face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Disco Dan brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Disco Dan crashed a gixxer into the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Disco Dan giveth, and the good Disco Dan, he taketh away.

Disco Dan girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF DISCO DAN'" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Disco!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Disco Dan does not sleep. He passes out pissed

Disco Dan built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Disco Dan met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Disco Dan is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Disco Dan.

Disco Dan was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Disco Dan omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of gixxer related deaths.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Disco Dan smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

There are no disabled people. Only people who Disco Dan has slept with!

Disco Dan does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

There is no chin behind Disco Dans beard. There is only another fist.

Disco Dan once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Disco Dan roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Disco Dan--more than meets the eye, Disco Dan--robot in disguise," and starred Disco Dan as a super hero on a motorbike who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a gixxer. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, Disco Dan rid the earth of the decepticons in 5mins flat,so Disco was replace with a cartoon character instead.

Disco Dan is currently suing greg's, claiming sugar and spice are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

When Disco Dan plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather gixxer crashes to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

It was once believed that Disco Dan actually lost a fight to a Honda rider, but that is a lie, created by Disco Dan himself to lure more Honda riders to him. Honda riders never were very smart.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Disco Dan.

If you can see Disco Dan, he can see you. If you can't see Disco Dan, you may be only seconds away from having a gixxer crashed into your face.

On the 7th day, God rested.... Disco Dan took over.

When Disco Dan awesome riding prowess fails to resolve a situation,...oh wait...it hasn't!

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Disco Dan.

Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world's hardest substance. But then they met Disco Dan, who crashed a gixxer so hard in to their faces, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Disco Dan's.

God offered Disco Dans the gift to fly,in exchange for his super riding abilities,which he swiftly declined,because god can't catch him!

Disco Dan drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

A duck's quack does not echo. Disco Dan is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why? he will simply stare at you, grimly.

Disco Dan once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Disco lost, he won in life by crashing a gixxer in to the side of Kasparov's face.

Disco Dan doesn't believe in German beer.

If you want a list of Disco Dan enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Disco Dan has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Disco Dan once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Disco Dan doesn't need to swallow when eating food.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Disco Dan.

Ironically, Disco Dan hidden talent is invisibility.

Disco Dan eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

Disco Dan owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

Disco Dan invented a language that incorporates motorcycle stunting and riding.So next time Disco Dan is kicking your ass on a track, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your helmet.

Disco Dan invented water.

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Disco Dan accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Contrary to popular belief, Disco Dan, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly crashed into by a motorbike.

Disco Dan is Luke Skywalker's real father.

Disco Dan does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Disco Dan crashed his gixxer into every tree in existance.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Disco Dan can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Disco Dan calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Mr Poo's.

Disco Dan once went to the virgin Islands. They are now 'the Islands'

On a high school math test, Disco Dan put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Disco Dan solves all his problems with Violence.

Once a cobra bit Disco Dan leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Disco Dan.

Superman owns a pair of Disco Dan Pajamas.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Disco Dan says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Disco Dan banging your sister.

Disco Dan dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Disco Dan will not take shit from anyone.

Disco Dan doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Disco Dans PC will crash.

When Disco Dan goes cow-tipping, he lifts a cow up and drop kicks it into the neighboring farm. All the other cows simply tip themselves over to keep from having to walk back in the dark.

Disco Dan has to maintain a concealed weapon license in order to legally wear pants.

Disco Dans likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".



Nope. Doest work.... damit.

Throws torch back to cowpoos...

[scumdog]

well that was a waste of my eyes reading

Likewise - that's why I got bored and stopped reading after the second line, what a load of shit!:crazy:

[jrandom]

Just as well you're so hard, you walked away un-dented, eh?!?

Heh, I bet he looked a lot less dented post-crash than he did in kiwifruit's driveway at 3am that morning.

:clap:

[cowpoos]

Likewise - that's why I got bored and stopped reading after the second line, what a load of shit!:crazy:
no...thats coz you southlanders can't rad...init??

[007XX]

Heh, I bet he looked a lot less dented post-crash than he did in kiwifruit's driveway at 3am that morning.

:clap:

:laugh: aaaaaahhh, the good ol' days when I was stup...I mean young enough to drink the night before a big event that would require all my attention...:dodge:

I need a cup of tea and a nana nap now...:rofl:

[scumdog]

no...thats coz you southlanders can't rad...init??


Well, at least THAT was nice and brief and easy to read....

And 'rad'? Hell we can 'rad' with the best of them!:banana:

[barty5]

Cowpoos is that hard, a sample of his DNA has been frozen for posterity and put in a capsule sent out to space in hope any alien life form will see what fine specimen the human race is.

having read this i thought Cowpoos would have been tough enough to have just jumped on the gixxer and gone for a blast out in to space and let the alien race take their own sample for a man of this magnatude he should be back in time for a cold Tui (poos piss)

[007XX]

having read this i thought Cowpoos would have been tough enough to have just jumped on the gixxer and gone for a blast out in to space and let the alien race take their own sample for a man of this magnatude he should be back in time for a cold Tui (poos piss)

Nah mate...Cowpoos' so freakin' hard, the aliens come to him...:yes:

Just ask him, I'm sure he still walks funny from the probes...:lol:

[barty5]

Nah mate...Cowpoos' so freakin' hard, the aliens come to him...:yes:

Just ask him, I'm sure he still walks funny from the probes...:lol:

shit i should have thought of that explains the dribble in the first place

[007XX]

shit i should have thought of that explains the dribble in the first place

Ssshhh...that's actually the gixxer leaking, but we don't like to talk about it...

[ZeroIndex]

already knew the gay part was true
Infractions or not, that is so damn true

[DarkLord]

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Cowpoos--more than meets the eye, Cowpoos--robot in disguise," and starred Cowpoos as a super hero on a motorbike who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a gixxer. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however,Poo's rid the earth of the decepticons in 5mins flat,so Poo's was replace with a cartoon character instead.


:laugh:

Brilliant.

[NOMIS]

Cowpoos is chuck norris ;)


SO... He a ginger.. BURN HIM..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Mikkel]

SO... He a ginger.. BURN HIM..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If cowpoos is indeed Chuck Norris I shall pity the fire!

[avgas]

Has your torrent become a trickle lately or something?

[inlinefour]

cowpoos is so full of shit, that his ears smell really bad.

Looking for the gixxer, but looks like it got beaten by the 08 Fireblade. :clap: