Seasonal jetlag

[martybabe]

;) I don't know if I can convey a truly pommie experience to you kiwis,who will find this weather perfectly normal but I'm gona give it a go.
Yesterday I took a break from polishing fatbob to have a ciggy and chew the fat with the bride. So I'm stood outside in me y fronts,flip flops er jandals,looking through the palm tree things,down the lush green valley and out to sea.The suns beating down on me bald heed and I said to the bride, "how wierd is this, its nearly december, me head looks like a big ugly red tomato and I'm hot man:sweatdrop".The bride says" you aint that hot chook and I aint fooled by them polishing cloths stuffed down your y-fronts either". Ignoring the cheeky mare,I went on to discuss all the boys back home wearing a couple of fleeces each, getting the bikes ready for winter storage:cold:, you know full tank o gas,new oil,wd40 everywhere and not forgettin the rocksalt on the roads(do you have that here?) you can stand and watch your bike rot infront of your own peepers:eek5:.I look back at fatbobby nearly ready to go and we're chuckling to ourselves how lucky we are to be here,then,oh my god,then.:gob: A truck load of father christmas's comes trundlin up our street:lol: tuggin on there instruments playin xmas carols.In d fuggin sun, in d daylight past the palm trees and the ocean blue,sweatin there cobs off.you gota remember this is through pommie eyes. It's just fuggin sureal,it must be like santa commin to visit in june for you guys. Me and the bride are pissin ourselves:killingme. And some poor little girl struggles up our drive with a coin box to be confronted by two histerical pomms and I'm patting down me y-fronts lookin for coins with tears in me eyes.This poor kid looks mortified and the li'll darling is trying to give us her little intro ,I represent etc.The bride gives her a couple o bucks appologises and the kid takes off like a scalded cat. sorry gota go I can't see to write any more,attack o the giggles. bless:killingme:killingme

[gijoe1313]

And the band played on ... taken to wearing handkerchiefs with knotted corners eating cornbeef sandwiches with coleman's mustard and sipping lemondade? :lol:

"ee by gum, that be a load o'old tat that is!"

[martybabe]

And the band played on ... taken to wearing handkerchiefs with knotted corners eating cornbeef sandwiches with coleman's mustard and sipping lemondade? :lol:

"ee by gum, that be a load o'old tat that is!"

He he, I love you gijoe, in a manly sorta way of course, poor colecting kid she's gonna need therapy. sunburn+ santa= confused pom init.:lol:

[blacksheep]

nice one good read lmao,been over here 6 yrs this time around and i reckon you'll never get used to it,try a full xmas dinner in this heat,laid on the lawn feeling very ill for a while last year(must have been a dodgy pint)

[Mikkel]

Yeah it's rather surreal I have to give you that. Coming from Scandinavia where the sun goes down about two and a half hour before it rises in the christmas time this is kinda weird. Then again - I started to pretend christmas doesn't happen quite a few years back so I tend to chuck Santa, the elves and all the other hoo-ha into a SEP-field. ;)

[martybabe]

nice one good read lmao,been over here 6 yrs this time around and i reckon you'll never get used to it,try a full xmas dinner in this heat,laid on the lawn feeling very ill for a while last year(must have been a dodgy pint)

:lol: I'm determined to give the old Turkey n trimmins a go just once. Aint it mad? I've seen xmas tree baubles with pictures of bbq's on em.I got some Brits commin for xmas,the're gonna freak.:apint: A pint! bless you.:2thumbsup

[judecatmad]

Have not managed to get used to it in 6 years of being here. Not sure I ever will!

Used to get a feeling of butterflies in my tummy around mid-November, when the weather was dreary, and it never got fully light, and all the Xmas lights were visible by 3pm - that feeling that said 'Christmas is on the way, oh YAY!'.

Not had that feeling with any of the hot Christmasses. Well, maybe my first one here, but that was just because it was different.

And sprouts - you can't get fresh sprouts! What's Xmas lunch without sprouts?! Love 'em! And mushy peas - not the ones from a can, the ones you boil up on the stove yourself - every time we try to get my dad to send some over, customs confiscate them! :crybaby: But on the upside - freshly picked strawberries on Xmas day....mmmmmmmmm!!!

The NZ mid-winter Christmas is an odd concept to me too! LOL

So much to learn, glasshopper.......!

[Disco Dan]

10 years for me now.

First christmas here - full english roast, all the trimmings. Hottest bloody day of the year. All the chocolates on the tree melted.

Next year we had a "salad" with a bbq. Just was not the same.

Now we just have the full english roast.. later. :whistle:

[gijoe1313]

"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.." blaring from the speakers as you are wearing jandals while you have a sausage sammie from the bbq and tossing a frisbee on the back lawn...

Sweltering as you manhandle eskies on the beach just to have sand in your sammies, sandflies testing your legs for the best bits, tossing the cucumber out to seagulls that sniff it and leave it...

That damn lawn tennis set that no-one knows how to play with it properly as you trip over the lawn darts and set about beating your irritating brother with the croquet set mallet ...

Watching dad take the beer bottle caps off with another bottle or using the bbq tools or putting it on the edge of the table and whacking down on it ...

Mum getting blardy upset due to the salad not being eaten and why has all the butter been used on the sweet corn ...

Xmas in Noo Zildland is a funny thing ... :blink:

[MisterD]

The NZ mid-winter Christmas is an odd concept to me too! LOL



Ya reckon? I find that really helps with the fact that the shortening days in the winter make me start to feel "Christmassy"...

[judecatmad]

Ya reckon? I find that really helps with the fact that the shortening days in the winter make me start to feel "Christmassy"...

Yeah, but then I have 6 months to wait til I get my pressies!! :crybaby:

I do still get the Xmassy feeling, but as you say, it's in June and it's just so surreal to even contemplate celebrating it twice in a year. Kind of like allowing the Queen to have 2 birthdays - nobody should have 2 birthdays, it's just not right I say! LOL

[Disco Dan]

Yeah, but then I have 6 months to wait til I get my pressies!! :crybaby:

I do still get the Xmassy feeling, but as you say, it's in June and it's just so surreal to even contemplate celebrating it twice in a year. Kind of like allowing the Queen to have 2 birthdays - nobody should have 2 birthdays, it's just not right I say! LOL

Hey if the Queen wants two birthdays, she can flipping have two!!! :wari:

[martybabe]

"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.." blaring from the speakers as you are wearing jandals while you have a sausage sammie from the bbq and tossing a frisbee on the back lawn...

Sweltering as you manhandle eskies on the beach just to have sand in your sammies, sandflies testing your legs for the best bits, tossing the cucumber out to seagulls that sniff it and leave it...

That damn lawn tennis set that no-one knows how to play with it properly as you trip over the lawn darts and set about beating your irritating brother with the croquet set mallet ...

Watching dad take the beer bottle caps off with another bottle or using the bbq tools or putting it on the edge of the table and whacking down on it ...

Mum getting blardy upset due to the salad not being eaten and why has all the butter been used on the sweet corn ...

Xmas in Noo Zildland is a funny thing ... :blink:



I ain't comming back to this thread till tonight, my stomach hurts from laughing so much. Thanx for sharing guys.:drinkup::killingme:killingme

[Ocean1]

And sprouts - you can't get fresh sprouts! What's Xmas lunch without sprouts?! Love 'em! And mushy peas - not the ones from a can, the ones you boil up on the stove yourself - every time we try to get my dad to send some over, customs confiscate them! :crybaby: But on the upside - freshly picked strawberries on Xmas day....mmmmmmmmm!!!

The NZ mid-winter Christmas is an odd concept to me too! LOL

So much to learn, glasshopper.......!

Can so too!!! Nawt like sprouts boiled to mush eh? The mushy peas here are blue prussian peas, got to soak 'em for a week an' boil them for HOURS but they're bloody great. Tend not to slop 'em all over the chips here though... And yesss indeedy, strawberries, Moet and chocolate has been our traditional Xmas breckie for decades.


"That damn lawn tennis set that no-one knows how to play with it properly as you trip over the lawn darts and set about beating your irritating brother with the croquet set mallet ...

LAWN DARTS!!! Fuck, first time I was them I thought "How amazingly, refreshingly un-PC dangerous, COOL" The kid next door biffed one over the road once, straight into the side door of a passing car.

[judecatmad]

Can so too!!! Nawt like sprouts boiled to mush eh?

Nooooo way...where from??? I'm on me a sprout hunt this year then! Oh hang on, we're off out for Xmas lunch this year...darn it!

And I'm quite particular with my mushy peas - got to be the crinkly dried marrowfat peas, soaked for a day and a half with just a tiny bit too much bicarb so you get that tangy taste coming through :D Put a ham shank in the pot and yum! the best pea and ham soup ever!!!

[Ocean1]

Nooooo way...where from??? I'm on me a sprout hunt this year then! Oh hang on, we're off out for Xmas lunch this year...darn it!

No idea, not in charge of procurement. Will ask.


And I'm quite particular with my mushy peas - got to be the crinkly dried marrowfat peas, soaked for a day and a half with just a tiny bit too much bicarb so you get that tangy taste coming through :D Put a ham shank in the pot and yum! the best pea and ham soup ever!!!

Well they're not the same, close though, and nice. Don't use 'em for pea & ham soup though, just std split peas. Mmmm, nice when it's cold, slices of P&H soup on bread for lunch.

Never got used to Xmas in London m'self, no buggering off all day to break pressies with the mates, too bloody cold for a decent holliday...

[Swoop]

And sprouts - you can't get fresh sprouts! What's Xmas lunch without sprouts?! ...every time we try to get my dad to send some over, customs confiscate them!
Thank f*ck for that! Good on the Customs boys/girls!!!
Vile/disgusting things! Dad used to grow the bastards as well!

LAWN DARTS!!! Fuck, first time I was them I thought "How amazingly, refreshingly un-PC dangerous, COOL" The kid next door biffed one over the road once, straight into the side door of a passing car.
http://go-wear.com/lawn_dart_shirt.htm
:lol:

[martybabe]

ooh I don't know now, the old internals are going from hilarity to homesickness:sweatdrop. sprout and tatters mashed in gravy in a sandwich!:sick::sick: No really try it lightly salted.:blip:

here aint this supposed to be about bikes?.........Honda goldwing with Xmas baubles..There that'll keep em happy.

Most enjoyable thread yet for me, bring on that stupid meltdown crimbo.

Thanx people you've made my day. x:clap:

[gijoe1313]

And now Bing Crosby will be warbling old wartime songs, croon along with hits like "White Cliffs of (The_)Dover", Dad's Army will be playing the lounge where you can help yourself to a cuppa under the tea cosy.

Yet, it seems more visceral when "It ain't 'arf 'ot mum" is applicable to the soaring temperatures here (and bring it on! The higher the temp, the shorter the skirts oo'er! :o)

Yes, being buried by your progeny whilst asleep on the beach seems to be so passe these days ... they're minging about the station wagon doing their PSPs/Nintendos or chatting up the local low-lifes "got P?"

But hush, the star of Bethelem seems to be a satellite put up by North Korea to spy on our diminishing fish shoals, the bangers on the barbie are now textured vege protein due to bints like Heather Mills bleating about how meat is murder.

The crush to beat the rush to pre-xmas sales sales seems to be par for the course and bumper car wars is now our nations top sport!

Nowt but nowt, it wasn't like this in my days ... we got a whipping for our supper and coal in our darned socks and we were happy aye! Why, all I wanted for Christmas was my two front teeth, shot out by that daft dog flying on his dog kennel trying to shoot the Red Baron down (like, that will happen, I heard they sold those crazy priced bikes to even crazier people!)

And don't get me started on the lack of coinage and lucky charms in the pudding! Mistletoe? I think it should be Camel toe! Christmas bonus? A pink slip in the pay packet and don't let the door hit you on the way out to Australia!

It weren't like this in my day ... kids don't even go to the doctors to pull the saucepan of their fool heads these days ... 'cause homes don't have anything to cook with, what wiv'microwaves and time-poor parents rushing to KFC and Maccys etc al.

'ee by gum lad, pull up a stool and put down that cellphone and learn a thing or two about what we did for fun in our day.... :done: :rolleyes:

[martybabe]

And now Bing Crosby will be warbling old wartime songs, croon along with hits like "White Cliffs of (The_)Dover", Dad's Army will be playing the lounge where you can help yourself to a cuppa under the tea cosy.

Yet, it seems more visceral when "It ain't 'arf 'ot mum" is applicable to the soaring temperatures here (and bring it on! The higher the temp, the shorter the skirts oo'er! :o)

Yes, being buried by your progeny whilst asleep on the beach seems to be so passe these days ... they're minging about the station wagon doing their PSPs/Nintendos or chatting up the local low-lifes "got P?"

But hush, the star of Bethelem seems to be a satellite put up by North Korea to spy on our diminishing fish shoals, the bangers on the barbie are now textured vege protein due to bints like Heather Mills bleating about how meat is murder.

The crush to beat the rush to pre-xmas sales sales seems to be par for the course and bumper car wars is now our nations top sport!

Nowt but nowt, it wasn't like this in my days ... we got a whipping for our supper and coal in our darned socks and we were happy aye! Why, all I wanted for Christmas was my two front teeth, shot out by that daft dog flying on his dog kennel trying to shoot the Red Baron down (like, that will happen, I heard they sold those crazy priced bikes to even crazier people!)

And don't get me started on the lack of coinage and lucky charms in the pudding! Mistletoe? I think it should be Camel toe! Christmas bonus? A pink slip in the pay packet and don't let the door hit you on the way out to Australia!

It weren't like this in my day ... kids don't even go to the doctors to pull the saucepan of their fool heads these days ... 'cause homes don't have anything to cook with, what wiv'microwaves and time-poor parents rushing to KFC and Maccys etc al.

'ee by gum lad, pull up a stool and put down that cellphone and learn a thing or two about what we did for fun in our day.... :done: :rolleyes:


:lol: brilliant just Brilliant, yum nearly as daft as me our kid.:killingme