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Al
30th October 2004, 20:24
Midnight bugs taste best.

Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.

NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque wrench.

Never try to race an old geezer, he may have one more gear than you.

Home is where your bike sits still long enough to leave a few drops of oil on the ground.

Routine maintenance should never be neglected.

It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed.

The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.

Never be afraid to slow down.

Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory.

Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.

Pie and coffee are as important as gasoline.

Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of fuel before you can think straight.

If you want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals (you may even have to shave).

Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.

Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.

Never mistake horsepower for staying power.

A good rider has balance, judgment, and good timing. So does a good lover.

A cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by strapping it to an exhaust pipe and riding forty miles.

Never do less than forty miles before breakfast.

If you don't ride in the rain - you don't ride.

A bike on the road is worth two in the shed.

Respect the person who has seen the dark side of motorcycling and lived.

Young riders pick a destination and go... Old riders pick a direction and go.

A good mechanic will let you watch without charging you for it.

Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.

Always back your bike into the curb - and sit where you can see it.

Work to ride & ride to work.

Whatever it is, it's better in the wind.

Two-lane blacktop isn't a highway - it's an attitude.

When you look down the road, it seems to never end - but you better believe it does.

A rider can smell a party 5,000 miles away.

Winter is Nature's way of telling you to Modify.

A motorcycle can't sing on the streets of a city.

Keep your bike in good repair: Motorcycle boots are NOT comfortable for walking.

People are like Motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.

If the bike isn't braking properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine.

Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor.

Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck.

Good coffee should be indistinguishable from 50 weight motor oil.

The best alarm clock is sunshine on a faceshield.

Learn to do counter-intuitive things that may someday save your butt.

The twisties - not the superslabs - separate the riders from the squids.

When you're riding lead -- don't spit.

If you really want to know what's going on, watch what's happening at least five cars ahead.

Don't make a reputation you'll have to live down or run away from later.

If the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them.

A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2 am to drive his pickup to the middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken down.

If she changes her oil more than she changes her mind -- follow her.

Catching a June bug or yellow jacket in your goggles or honeybee down your shirt @ 70 mph can double your vocabulary.

If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can't stop at every tavern.

There's something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.

Don't lead the pack if you don't know where you're going.

Sleep with one arm through the spokes and keep your pants on.

Practice wrenching on your own bike.

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't.

Beware the rider who says the bike never breaks down.

Owning two bikes is useful because at least one can be raided for parts at any given time.

Don't argue with a 18-wheeler.

Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit.

Maintenance is as much art as it is science.

A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of fuel.

If you can't get it going with bungee cords and electrician's tape - it's serious.

If you ride like there's no tomorrow - there won't be.

Bikes parked out front mean good chicken-fried steak inside.

Gray-haired riders don't get that way from pure luck.

There are drunk riders. There are old riders. There are NO old, drunk riders.

Thin leather looks good standing around, but it won't save your butt from "road rash" if you go down.

The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside.

Always replace the cheapest parts first.

You can forget what you do for a living when your knee is on the Pavement.

No matter what marquee you ride, it's all the same wind.

Patience is the ability to keep your motor idling.

And the last ... "Only a Motorcyclist knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window."

Al
30th October 2004, 20:33
This is my last lot, promise..... ;)

Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
Motorcycles' curves never sag.
Motorcycles last longer.
Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
You can ride a Motorcycle at any time of the month.
Motorcycles don't have parents.
Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is really worn.
If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.
You can have a black Motorcycle and show it to your parents.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.
If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apoligize before you can ride it again.
You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
It's always ok to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
When you're done riding your motorcycle you can just get off it.
You don't have to take your motorcycle to dinner to get a ride on it.
You can leave your motorcycle out in the garage and it won't complain about the cold.
You can ignore your motorcycle and it won't ask why.
Your motorcycle won't ask where you've been in your car.
Your motorcycle won't look at the grease on your collar and ask where you got it from.
Your motorcycle won't sniff suspiciously at the petrol fumes when you've been riding another motorcycle.
Motorcycles don't complain if they're insufficiently lubricated, they just don't go quite as fast.
When you finish riding your motorcycle you feel like getting on again straight afterwards.
You can drop your motorcycle and pick it right up again
If the seat doesn't match your preferences you can get a custom one reasonable cheaply
Having a really loud motorcycle can be good.
Having an oversized motorcycle can be good.
You can ride your motorcycle in public.
You can flirt with girls when you're with your motorcycle.
Motorcycles don't mind you wearing your boots while riding.
Motorcycles don't mind you leaving them with other strange motorcycles.
Motorcycles like riding in groups.
Motorcycles like racing. The one who gets there first IS the winner.
It is always good when you’re with your motorcycle.
Motorcycles don't need commitment, they just need petrol.
If your motorcycle dies, you can just get a new one.
If your motorcycle isn't working, you can always borrow your mate's.
If you see a girl riding a motorcycle you don't have to worry
Your motorcycle takes a bit longer to cool down.
You only need to ride your motorcycle in one position
Your motorcycle doesn't complain when riding in the back of the truck.
Motorcycles are recyclable and ozone friendly.
Your motorcycle still looks the same after two beers.
Riding strange motorcycles without coverage is perfectly safe.
When you fart on your Motorcycle, it doesn't care.
The darkies a Motorcycle leaves behind always smell great.
A Motorcycle never leaves a wet spot you have to sleep on.
A Motorcycle always wants to go faster.
Motorcycles never have headaches.
Motorcycles are never too tired to ride (unless you have Jap crap.)
Motorcycles don't kick you outta bed when it's time to wake up.
Motorcycles don't roll over and pass out after you've gone for a ride.
When your Motorcycle hiccups, you REALLY ARE concerned.
When you goose your Motorcycle, it wheelies.
When you get sick of your Motorcycle, you can sell it.
Motorcycles are cheap to keep (unless you have a Ducati).
Motorcyles always pump that adrenaline, even on a bad day.
Motorcyles don't ask you to cook dinner.
Two can ride a motorcycle in public and people don't stare.
You don't have to prove to your motorcycle that you like your motorcycle.
Motorcycles always trust you - no matter what.
You don't mind if others love your motorcycle, too.
You don't mind if others want to ride your motorcycle.
Motorcycles don't smell bad when they get dirty.
You don't have to pay alimony/child support to your ex-motorcycle.
Motorcycles improve when you bore 'em and stroke'em.!
When you spend money on your motorcycle to improve its looks, it works.
Motorcycles only try to kill you while you're awake

Juan
31st October 2004, 10:15
Get a job!!!!

You have too much spare time :lol:

Joni
31st October 2004, 10:19
Al, Al, Al....... :sleep: Damn that made me need sleep again....
Im tired!!! :disapint:

Hehehe, some good ones in there tho!!!

NC
31st October 2004, 10:25
That was kewl :)

Al
31st October 2004, 15:05
Juan: Get a job!!!!

Nah, got one already......
Spare time? 'Twas night-time when I "copied and pasted", bit shitty riding in the dark, so decided to post :shake:

Hey, Jo, wot were you up to being so tired...? hehehe :sly:

Take care out there
Al (who has made a donation to the "HP orphans and widows Christmas fund", luckily no demerits!) :o