Settle down!

[James Deuce]

I get yelled at by the boss, the wife, the kids, the Mother in law, the Indian Dairy owner, and random people who object to me lane splitting.

Every second thread on KB at the moment is shouting at me to slow down, get my Will sorted, be an ATGATT, wear padded cycling undershorts, eat more vegetables, enjoy sex, blah blah blah!

FFS, we're bikers. What happened to the middle finger held up in half apathetic defiance of social norms?

Go start a healthy living site for homosexual whales and stop lecturing everyone. It's tiresome.

[DMNTD]

Agreed man...too many floppy cucumbers :sunny:

[jrandom]

Nothing wrong with padded cycling undershorts.

[Usarka]

Fuck off dont tell me what to post.


that better??? bahahahaa

[Crisis management]

There is a solution Jim.....go for a fucking ride!

[MyGSXF]

:finger: get ferked!






:bleh:

[Joni]

I get what you are saying Jim.... and yes I agree about the floppy cucumbers.... but what i really notice it all the bitching, moaning, whinging going on again....

Made me think of a thread I did years ago:

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=3775

Come on people, smile ffs.... its Friday, life is good.... YAY! :hug:

[jrandom]

I like cucumber sandwiches.

[Joni]

I like cucumber sandwiches.I love cucumbers :shifty:

[Hitcher]

Not to mention people who drive SUVs because they think they're "safer" and wax their bodies because they think that will make them "cleaner".

Flacid cucurbits indeed. An end to them!

7 December is herewith proclaimed National Harden The Fuck Up Day.

Bless you, St James II.

[Devil]

I love cucumbers :shifty:
Sheesh and you call ME dodgy...

[jrandom]

I love cucumbers

Perhaps we could work together on this one.

[The Stranger]

I love cucumbers :shifty:

Just not the floppy ones?

[Joni]

Just not the floppy ones?They normally go floppy after they have been around liquid dressing... buts thats all good, easy to fix!

[99TLS]

I love cucumbers :shifty:

cheaper than batteries for the vibrator at the moment

[Joni]

cheaper than batteries for the vibrator at the momentWhat ever floats your boat babe... we wont judge you!

:laugh:

[skelstar]

Sounds like a man getting old Jim2.. :shifty:

[marioc]

amen to that sir

[MSTRS]

I get yelled at by the boss, the wife, the kids, the Mother in law, the Indian Dairy owner, and random people who object to me lane splitting.


Ever thought that you deserve it?? :dodge:
Tis life mate, and it is as we know it, Jim.

[Patch]

I get yelled at by the boss, the wife, the kids, the Mother in law, the Indian Dairy owner, and random people who object to me lane splitting.

Every second thread on KB at the moment is shouting at me to slow down, get my Will sorted, be an ATGATT, wear padded cycling undershorts, eat more vegetables, enjoy sex, blah blah blah!

FFS, we're bikers. What happened to the middle finger held up in half apathetic defiance of social norms?

Go start a healthy living site for homosexual whales and stop lecturing everyone. It's tiresome.


Welcome to KB - where most of the whinging littl' bastages are (with way too much time on their hands) probably 75% don't even own a bike, let alone know how to ride the fuggin thing properly.


Life ain't what it used to be.

[Pwalo]

I get yelled at by the boss, the wife, the kids, the Mother in law, the Indian Dairy owner, and random people who object to me lane splitting.



Go start a healthy living site for homosexual whales and stop lecturing everyone. It's tiresome.


Don't tell them, and they wont know.


The Japs have got that one sorted.

Now stop your bleating, and have another caffiene injection.

[Finn]

You've noticed this too Jim. I'm bordering on becoming an anarchist however I have found an interim measure. Do as I do and that is the exact opposite of what people tell and sometimes demand of you.

I don't recycle
Sometimes I ride with sneakers, jeans and a tshirt. It's like sex
I buy the most gas guzzling cars I can find
I don't obey very many traffic rules. Give way applies at reds.
Used oil goes down the drain
I don't "look out for bikes" (unless they have a motor in them)
I target people with "Baby on Board" signs
Ban fireworks and I will make really dangerous ones myself
If a Tui wakes me up in the morning, I shoot it
Undersized snapper are yummy
Pohutakawa wood makes a nice beach fire
I didn't pick up after my dog (bye buddy :crybaby:)

There's many more but you get the drift.

[RantyDave]

Every second thread on KB at the moment is shouting at me to slow down, get my Will sorted, be an ATGATT, wear padded cycling undershorts, eat more vegetables, enjoy sex, blah blah blah!
Hey, I like ATGATT - it increases the ratio of bike time to hospital time.

Dave

[RantyDave]

I target people with "Baby on Board" signs
Heh. I saw one stuck in the back of a cage the other day that said "stupid yellow sign".

Dave

[Fatjim]

7/12

National HTFU day.

I like it.

[Ewan Oozarmy]

FFS, we're bikers. What happened to the middle finger held up in half apathetic defiance of social norms?

Well said!

The other day my mate Chris got cut up while filtering and had words with the car driver. The car driver got out and took a swing at Chris. Chris knocked him out. He later posted his experience on a motorcycle forum and recieved 100% backing from other posters.

I have a feeling that had he posted his experience on this site the responses backing him would've been far less than 100%.

[Tank]

To honor the first HTFU day:

I just made my kids cry for holding me the fuck up for work.

My wife told me off for making the kids cry. I told her to get a job.

Today Im doing performance appraisals for my staff (Im betting that they wish they wernt scheduled for HTFU day). I wont be content unless I make 30% of them cry.

When I get home - Im going to throw out every floppy cucumber I can find.

[Coyote]

Fucking shit sakes man! If someone complains about your riding, just do a fucking burnout on their windscreen! Jeez...

[Ocean1]

What happened to the middle finger held up in half apathetic defiance of social norms?


I'm bordering on becoming an anarchist

Blardy amateurs.

I had my prostate replaced with a antistate years ago.

[Hitcher]

Sometimes I ride with sneakers, jeans and a tshirt. It's like sex

I'm sorry. You're going to have to draw me a picture on that one. Unless, of course, the sex thing is way too kinky...

[Tank]

To honor the first HTFU day:



Today Im doing performance appraisals for my staff (Im betting that they wish they wernt scheduled for HTFU day). I wont be content unless I make 30% of them cry.
.

Just did first review. Normally he would have received top marks - but I had to mark him down for a crooked tye (a 1/2 Windsor FFS) and his shoelaces were not symmetrical. I have also been sleeping with his wife for the last 8 months. She is a crap lay - so he lost points for that as well.

So he had his bonus slashed by 50% and lost next years raise. He cried. I told him HTFU and now hes OK (and my budgets are looking better - so therefor Ill get a bigger raise).

This HTFU stuff is working!

[Hitcher]

but I had to mark him down for a crooked tye

This HTFU stuff is working!

Fortunately he wasn't scoring you on spelling (tie)

[judecatmad]

I get yelled at by the boss, the wife, the kids, the Mother in law, the Indian Dairy owner, and random people who object to me lane splitting.

You're not having a good day are you?! ;)

[Toaster]

I just don't give a shit.

[Tank]

Fortunately he wasn't scoring you on spelling (tie)

Tank comes and headbutts Hitcher in the face for correcting his spelling.

If you don't like my spelling go HTFU - don't come here like a limp cucumber correcting me. Some of like spelin ow we like it and we disnt need PC fool fixin it !

[Hitcher]

If you don't like my spelling go HTFU - don't come here like a limp cucumber correcting me. Some of like spelin ow we like it and we disnt need PC fool fixin it !

If you can't spell properly, learn or HFTU!

[Tank]

If you can't spell properly, learn or HFTU!

If I HTFU anymore I'm libel to kill someone.

Just did second staff review. I marked them 2 out of 10 because they were late on January 3rd of this year by an entire 15 minutes. It was because I asked them to stop and pick me up a coffee - but that's her fault for not leaving enough time in the morning in case I phoned.

I didn't turn up for the meeting, I just left them a voicemail and told them "no Xmas bonus for you".

She came crying into my office. - I told her to HTFU.

"Wont someone think of my children" she cried. I did, told her I didn't find them attractive and that they should HTFU also.


(runs spell checker before hitting submit reply)

[Hitcher]

Impressive.

[skelstar]

Impressive.
He's kinda like a 'Pams Chuck Norris Lite'.

Hope he doesn't kill me.

[Hitcher]

He's kinda like a 'Pams Chuck Norris Lite'.

You have given too much rep, etc, etc. If I knew you were on a roll, I would have waited.

[skelstar]

I'm just a little fish...

<img src="http://www.arkive.org/media/1DD20351-AE5C-4C42-B3C3-73C233C0F1A6/Presentation.Large/large-Remora-fish-feeding-on-whale-shark.jpg">


picture not implying that i think you're a Whale Shark btw

[cowpoos]

I'm sorry. You're going to have to draw me a picture on that one. Unless, of course, the sex thing is way too kinky...

.................................................. .................................................. ..

[skidMark]

Agreed man...too many floppy cucumbers :sunny:


ddnt need to know bro go buy some viagra.

[skidMark]

He's kinda like a 'Pams Chuck Norris Lite'.

Hope he doesn't kill me.


When chuck norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

[Grahameeboy]

Nothing wrong with padded cycling undershorts.

DID YOU SAY CYCLE!!

[terbang]

You've noticed this too Jim. I'm bordering on becoming an anarchist however I have found an interim measure. Do as I do and that is the exact opposite of what people tell and sometimes demand of you.

I don't recycle
Sometimes I ride with sneakers, jeans and a tshirt. It's like sex
I buy the most gas guzzling cars I can find
I don't obey very many traffic rules. Give way applies at reds.
Used oil goes down the drain
I don't "look out for bikes" (unless they have a motor in them)
I target people with "Baby on Board" signs
Ban fireworks and I will make really dangerous ones myself
If a Tui wakes me up in the morning, I shoot it
Undersized snapper are yummy
Pohutakawa wood makes a nice beach fire
I didn't pick up after my dog (bye buddy :crybaby:)

There's many more but you get the drift.

Yer forgot the bit about throwing midgets..!:nono:

[Grahameeboy]

Well said!

The other day my mate Chris got cut up while filtering and had words with the car driver. The car driver got out and took a swing at Chris. Chris knocked him out. He later posted his experience on a motorcycle forum and recieved 100% backing from other posters.

I have a feeling that had he posted his experience on this site the responses backing him would've been far less than 100%.

I was along side a car today on the mowerway when it decides to move over. I could have smacked his nice red mirror but decided that after 27 years of riding bikes I knew what to do, had half a mind he might anyway, so just put my hand up in dismay and carried on....I could have wacked his mirror but what is the point.

Cannot see the point in have a barny with another motorist and with respect to your mate he must have said something that made the cage driver get out of his car so whilst he may have flattened him, he was wearing bike gear / helmet so was in less danger

[Grahameeboy]

Yer forgot the bit about throwing midgets..!:nono:

Did Finn say 'undersize midgets are bummy'.....now where are my specs

[Big Dave]

James James James.
Your post is evidence of Schroedinger's cat.
The perpetuation of the cycle - The Yin and Yin.

You are so far down the path of hardness. Don't blow it now.
Repeat after me:

Fuck 'em and feed 'em catfish.

[Skyryder]

Sometimes I ride with sneakers, jeans and a tshirt. It's like sex


Just hope you don't ejaculate prematurely it makes a mess.:jerry::jerry:

Skyryder

[Grahameeboy]

I get yelled at by the boss, the wife, the kids, the Mother in law, the Indian Dairy owner, and random people who object to me lane splitting.

Every second thread on KB at the moment is shouting at me to slow down, get my Will sorted, be an ATGATT, wear padded cycling undershorts, eat more vegetables, enjoy sex, blah blah blah!

FFS, we're bikers. What happened to the middle finger held up in half apathetic defiance of social norms?

Go start a healthy living site for homosexual whales and stop lecturing everyone. It's tiresome.

You don't think it's you then

[Ewan Oozarmy]

I was along side a car today on the mowerway when it decides to move over. I could have smacked his nice red mirror but decided that after 27 years of riding bikes I knew what to do, had half a mind he might anyway, so just put my hand up in dismay and carried on....I could have wacked his mirror but what is the point.

Cannot see the point in have a barny with another motorist and with respect to your mate he must have said something that made the cage driver get out of his car so whilst he may have flattened him, he was wearing bike gear / helmet so was in less danger

Sorry man, my summary of what happenned to my mate was pretty poor. Here's the link :

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&t=462312

I reckon the car driver got what he deserved.

[Grahameeboy]

Sorry man, my summary of what happenned to my mate was pretty poor. Here's the link :

http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&t=462312

I reckon the car driver got what he deserved.

Ah that is different, more like assault so the driver deserved it...............crazy eh.

[Ewan Oozarmy]

Ah that is different, more like assault so the driver deserved it...............crazy eh.

I reckon.

My main reason for posting this was the responses Chris got to his post. No one on their high horse accusing him of giving bikers a bad name, which I think was one of the points made by Jim2 at the start of this thread.

[Grahameeboy]

I reckon.

My main reason for posting this was the responses Chris got to his post. No one on their high horse accusing him of giving bikers a bad name, which I think was one of the points made by Jim2 at the start of this thread.

Agreed...this probably gave the car driver a bad name eh?

[Oakie]

If you can't spell properly, learn or HFTU!

What is 'HFTU"?

[Hitcher]

What is 'HFTU"?

Harden Fuck The Up. I love double entendre. It tastes like seafood.

[WRT]

Yer forgot the bit about throwing midgets..!:nono:

I'm glad he's throwing rather tossing them, although I suspect the midgets themselves would probably rather be tossed.

[HTFU]

I just dislocated my kneecap shifting kitchen cabinets today, my mate took one look at the knee cap half way around my leg and said "Shit that looks painful" I told him to "HTFU".

Had to really, its HTFU day.

[Ewan Oozarmy]

Re-post, I know, but seeing as it's HTFU day.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unkIVvjZc9Y

[Swoop]

I target people with "Baby on Board" signs.
Too fucking right! If the retards want compassion, drive PROPERLY in the LEFT lane!

He later posted his experience on a motorcycle forum and recieved 100% backing from other posters.

I have a feeling that had he posted his experience on this site the responses backing him would've been far less than 100%.
100% here.

[Oakie]

Harden Fuck The Up. I love double entendre. It tastes like seafood.

Well that's a relief. I thought for a moment it may have been Harden Fe Thuck Up" which would have been silly and not tasted like seafood at all.

[Mom]

Well that's a relief. I thought for a moment it may have been Harden Fe Thuck Up" which would have been silly and not tasted like seafood at all.

It may have if there was enough chilli to overpower the original sauce?

[homer]

I love cucumbers :shifty:

for an eating purpose ?;)

[Big Dave]

Don't forget your HTFU range of apparel.

http://www.cafepress.com/davidcohen/3132793

[kiwifruit]

Don't forget your HTFU range of apparel.

http://www.cafepress.com/davidcohen/3132793

nice shirts
wheres the "born to ride Japanese" ?

[Zuki Bandit]

I get yelled at by the boss, the wife, the kids, the Mother in law, the Indian Dairy owner, and random people who object to me lane splitting.

Every second thread on KB at the moment is shouting at me to slow down, get my Will sorted, be an ATGATT, wear padded cycling undershorts, eat more vegetables, enjoy sex, blah blah blah!

FFS, we're bikers. What happened to the middle finger held up in half apathetic defiance of social norms?

Go start a healthy living site for homosexual whales and stop lecturing everyone. It's tiresome.
FECK YEAH!!! Amen to that!

[davereid]

Finally a thread run by bikers, not by their moms ! Yay ! no one telling me I'm a Darwin case cos I don't like my cycle helmet.

No one offering me a pink dayglo jacket, or offering to punch me out cos I forgot my gloves.

Can't bling you all ....:clap:

[limbimtimwim]

I agree Jim.

Let's go beat up some fags and take a shit on Lambton Quay.

If you don't like it, just fucking die.

[Sparky Bills]

All I can say is...
CRY ME A RIVER!!!

This is what KB has become. We cant control who joins and who leaves.

[Trudes]

I'm up for that!! Don't know about crapping in public though. I'm a ladyyy

[Qkkid]

Perhaps we could work together on this one.

:drool:Okay i will push you shove:whistle:

[Sully60]

All I can say is...
CRY ME A RIVER!!!

This is what KB has become. We cant control who joins and who leaves.

Yes you can! Don't you remember Hyobad? Dissed Cops,Rich people,Drew and a few others and got flammed so hard disappeared after two weeks.


.I agree Jim.

Let's go beat up some fags and take a shit on Lambton Quay.

If you don't like it, just fucking die.

Cool Simon! I'd be in. Beating up fags, spics, wops, mods, teddy boys, metrosexuals, hyosung riders and wiggers sounds like the perfect release.
And when it comes to the crunch I'll shit on them too!

[Sparky Bills]

And when it comes to the crunch I'll shit on them too!


Hmmmmmm, I heard your into some kinky shit, but that takes the cake mate!:spanking:

[Sully60]

Hmmmmmm, I heard your into some kinky shit, but that takes the cake mate!:spanking:

Yes taking cake, that another thing I'm into, especially from young parts biartches with toight little bottoms!

Them I shit on them.

[Edbear]

Finally a thread run by bikers, not by their moms ! Yay ! no one telling me I'm a Darwin case cos I don't like my cycle helmet.

No one offering me a pink dayglo jacket, or offering to punch me out cos I forgot my gloves.

Can't bling you all ....:clap:



Unfortunately I don't have a pink jacket to offer you, and I might break a nail if I punched you, 'sides, Mum says I shouldn't wear pink and I shouldn't punch people, it's not nice...:rolleyes:

[Maha]

Agreed man...too many floppy cucumbers :sunny:


I love cucumbers :shifty:


cheaper than batteries for the vibrator at the moment

Ya'll are talking about Apple cucumbers aye?....

[Big Dave]

nice shirts
wheres the "born to ride Japanese" ?

hmmm and I Should do an Italian and German one too.

[crazefox]

I get yelled at by the boss, the wife, the kids, the Mother in law, the Indian Dairy owner, and random people who object to me lane splitting.

Every second thread on KB at the moment is shouting at me to slow down, get my Will sorted, be an ATGATT, wear padded cycling undershorts, eat more vegetables, enjoy sex, blah blah blah!

FFS, we're bikers. What happened to the middle finger held up in half apathetic defiance of social norms?

Go start a healthy living site for homosexual whales and stop lecturing everyone. It's tiresome.

FUCKING aye brother jim. Praise the lord raise the middle finger