Weaver
1st January 2008, 12:52
TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY (INC)
69 Slippery Root Drive
Downtrousers
Wellington 6031
New Zealand
Telephone (04) 859-637
Dear Weaver
We regret to inform you that we have rejected your application to model and represent our product, "Trojan Condoms".
Although your general physical appearance is not displeasing, our Board of Directors is of the opinion that your wearing of our product in the advertisement does not portray a positive, romantic image for our product . A loose, baggy and wrinkled condom is NOT considered very romantic.
We do admire your efforts to try and firm it up by using "Poly-grip", but even then it slipped off before we could get a photograph taken. We would like to note however, that yours is the first we've seen that looks remarkably like a bicycle grip.
We appreciate your interest and thank you for your effort and time. We have taken the liberty to retain your application on our files for future consideration should we ever decide to enter the micro or mini condom market.
We sent our greetings to your girlfriend or wife/ mistress, along with our sincere commiserations and sympathy.
Yours sincerely
Burlmy Dick
Promotions Manager
TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY
P.S. Remember our slogans:
Cover your stump before you hump;
Don't be silly, cover your willy;
If you are not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
69 Slippery Root Drive
Downtrousers
Wellington 6031
New Zealand
Telephone (04) 859-637
Dear Weaver
We regret to inform you that we have rejected your application to model and represent our product, "Trojan Condoms".
Although your general physical appearance is not displeasing, our Board of Directors is of the opinion that your wearing of our product in the advertisement does not portray a positive, romantic image for our product . A loose, baggy and wrinkled condom is NOT considered very romantic.
We do admire your efforts to try and firm it up by using "Poly-grip", but even then it slipped off before we could get a photograph taken. We would like to note however, that yours is the first we've seen that looks remarkably like a bicycle grip.
We appreciate your interest and thank you for your effort and time. We have taken the liberty to retain your application on our files for future consideration should we ever decide to enter the micro or mini condom market.
We sent our greetings to your girlfriend or wife/ mistress, along with our sincere commiserations and sympathy.
Yours sincerely
Burlmy Dick
Promotions Manager
TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY
P.S. Remember our slogans:
Cover your stump before you hump;
Don't be silly, cover your willy;
If you are not going to sack it, go home and whack it.