What grinds my gears. Issue 1

[James Deuce]

If you're a n00b to motorcycling; welcome. If you own a brand spanking red-with-silver-flames GPX250R (never forget the "R"), then well done. Lovely motorcycle.

If you've ridden your new bike to work for the first time and parked in the Jim2 Memorial Bike Park, then may I compliment you on your superb taste.

However next time, don't angle park or I'll be forced to do the old spin the bike on the sidestand trick. That will probably worry you if you see me doing it, but provided I don't throw it on its side, there should be no harm done.

What grinds my gears. Issue 1a

There's a Futong Scooter in the the Jim2 Memorial Park that is going to get removed in the next couple of days if you don't sort it. There's no need to abandon a perfectly adequate mode of urban transport because it has a flat tyre. The air went to the top of that tyre on the 21/12/2007. It's 2008. Come and pick your shit up.

[onearmedbandit]

I can't wait for issue 2. When is the next installment?

[Joni]

I can't wait for issue 2. When is the next installment?I dont know if I can handle more than one a week....

:beer:

[Crisis management]

It's not even a monday Jim, are you sure you'll cope till the weekend?

[Tortron]

so you are telling me there is a free scooter

[James Deuce]

I'm investigating the free scooter option with the Council as we speak.

[Crasherfromwayback]

I'm investigating the free scooter option with the Council as we speak.

Give me the reg number big fella and I'll tell ya who owns it!

[Dave-]

some wanker stole my park at westfield riccarton the other week.

if you're the owner of the GN250 with L plate and you parked by the elevator and enterance at riccarton between the pillar and bike stand against the wall....you wanker...I had to go park around the corner in some decreped cave with scooters....

[Her_C4]

some wanker stole my park at westfield riccarton the other week.

if you're the owner of the GN250 with L plate and you parked by the elevator and enterance at riccarton between the pillar and bike stand against the wall....you wanker...I had to go park around the corner in some decreped cave with scooters....

Ha ha ha Sorry mate - there is ABsolutely no relation between the park that you like to think of as your own.... and the 'Jim2 Memorial Bike Park' ....:bash::laugh::laugh:

[skelstar]

The Aprilia, as I think you pointed out once Jim2 has a near vertical stand arrangement (unlike the Ducati 'suicide stand'). A great source of concern for me every damn time I park in bike parks, memorialised or otherwise. Sometimes I have to angle park just to get the bike sitting right. Would that grind your gears mister?

[vifferman]

I can't wait for issue 2. When is the next installment?
Oh yeah!

:corn::corn:

[James Deuce]

Such a big world. So few Futurama fans.

[vifferman]

There's a Futong Scooter in the the Jim2 Memorial Park that is going to get removed in the next couple of days if you don't sort it.
Can you sleep on it, or does it need one of those torture racks (WTF are they called again...? Ah yes - a slut bed) to park it on?
Maybe that's the problem with the maldistribution of air - some fat twunt slept on it.

[Big Dave]

Burn it - you ^*#@ hypocrite.

[Insanity_rules]

Such a big world. So few Futurama fans.

I'll say.... Do the bender!

[Dave-]

Ha ha ha Sorry mate - there is ABsolutely no relation between the park that you like to think of as your own.... and the 'Jim2 Memorial Bike Park' ....:bash::laugh::laugh:

yeah but this reminded me, and I cant justify making a whole new thread just to break someones balls over a parking spot.

[90s]

I'll say.... Do the bender!

Taking the Simpsons quiz on Empire online, one question asked what Futurama character made a guest appearance on the Simpsons. Having stopped picking over the fetid stinking bloated corpse of the Simpsons, is it worth looking up the episode to see our Fry (presumably Fry) again?

This might be taking the thread away from its original purpose - but have you considered that the moped owner might have fallen into a cryogenic capsule?

[James Deuce]

In which case, it's all mine!

Having said that CFWB has identified that plate and owner - it belongs to a 2006 XR250 registered to a Brendan David Knight, who lives in Whangarei. Anyone know him?

I reckon there's at least two people who have had bikes stolen involved in this sorry little saga.

Just getting touch with the Police now.

[Madness]

Just getting touch with the Police now.

Is this a new service they are offering?

[Insanity_rules]

Taking the Simpsons quiz on Empire online, one question asked what Futurama character made a guest appearance on the Simpsons. Having stopped picking over the fetid stinking bloated corpse of the Simpsons, is it worth looking up the episode to see our Fry (presumably Fry) again?

This might be taking the thread away from its original purpose - but have you considered that the moped owner might have fallen into a cryogenic capsule?

Good news everyone! Hell yeah its worth it! I've just spent 20 minutes trying to find it myself (not busy at work). PM me if ya find what episode its in. Apparently it was a couch gag so I gather.

[vifferman]

In which case, it's all mine!
:shit:
Oh, the humanity!!
Stop and think for a second or two of the children, Jim!
By the BikerGodz, and all that is holy - how could you possibly ride summat called a Foo-TONG!
(Unless, of course, you show that you are cognizant of its beastliness, and celebrate the name (like a Yamaha Jog that I saw years ago, that was a real DOG, and the owners had crudely changed the name decal to reflect that. :yes:)

[sprag]

In which case, it's all mine!

Having said that CFWB has identified that plate and owner - it belongs to a 2006 XR250 registered to a Brendan David Knight, who lives in Whangarei. Anyone know him?

I reckon there's at least two people who have had bikes stolen involved in this sorry little saga.

Just getting touch with the Police now.

Now which person is going to be happier the one that is getting the number plate back or the one getting the bike back, i hate people that steal.

[Fooman]

Good news everyone! Hell yeah its worth it! I've just spent 20 minutes trying to find it myself (not busy at work). PM me if ya find what episode its in. Apparently it was a couch gag so I gather.

There was Bender sitting in class at some stage: some quick wiki'ing comes up with:

# Bender is in The Simpsons episode Future-Drama where he appears besides Homer and says "You guys are my new best friends". Homer says "You wish, loser!" and throws him out of the car.
# Bender also appears in The Simpsons episode Bart vs. Lisa vs. The Third Grade. When Bart is sleep deprived in class, he hallucinates his class mates turning into characters from TV shows he had been staying up watching, one of which is Bender.

Cheers,
FM

[skelstar]

Whats funnier is the episodes where Simpsons take the piss out of Family Guy (and vice versa)..

[SPman]

..
Just getting touch with the Police now.
Is that like....getting in touch with your feminine side..........

[Mikkel]

By the BikerGodz, and all that is holy - how could you possibly ride summat called a Foo-TONG!

I tried to convince them that Poon-Tang was a better name for it. But, alas, to no avail...

[crazybigal]

Bite my shiny metal ass!!

[vifferman]

I tried to convince them that Poon-Tang was a better name for it. But, alas, to no avail...
LOLzah! :niceone:
Maybe they thought it would add too much to the cost equipping the bike with suitable accoutrements, like a shapely arse end, frontal protruberances, etc.
But I can see it in my head! And I like it! :2thumbsup

[Lucy]

I once had a scooter. Someone at work moved it so they could park their motorcycle where I had parked. I thought it was exceedingly arrogant. Cars hate bikes, bikes hate scooters, where is the love?

[Nagash]

Hah, can't find the photos at this point in time but a very interesting mate of mine got his bike trapped into a parking space by some huge 4x4. (His bike was under one of the pylons in the indoor car parks) So his bike was totally trapped, he hung around for about 15 minutes until someone else finally moved and he was able to get out, just before he left he managed to scratch in big capital letters 'PRICK' down the side of his car and take a few snaps..

[Trudes]

I once had a scooter. Someone at work moved it so they could park their motorcycle where I had parked. I thought it was exceedingly arrogant. Cars hate bikes, bikes hate scooters, where is the love?

Scooters hate horses?

[skelstar]

Scooters hate horses?

Scooters hate Helen Clarkes Electoral Office.

[Weaver]

You know that grinds my gears. Where in the bible does it say that a man can't fire off some knuckle children in the privacy of his neighbours living room while his neighbours at work because I don't have a DVD player? Well I don't know where it says because the bible is way to long to read.

You know what really grinds my gears?
Nobodys come up with a new preist to the rabbi joke in like thirty years. I mean okay, priest to the rabbi go into the supermarket and the preist wants to buy a ham. The rabbi say, " I can't it eat it", its forbidden, couldn't eat it, its not allowed. Pigs are like super heros to them.
Is it perfect? No. I don't see you coming up with anything, and that people is what grinds my gears

[Swoop]

You know that grinds my gears. Where in the bible does it say that a man can't fire off some knuckle children in the privacy of his neighbours living room while his neighbours at work because I don't have a DVD player? Well I don't know where it says because the bible is way to long to read.

You know what really grinds my gears?
Nobodys come up with a new preist to the rabbi joke in like thirty years. I mean okay, priest to the rabbi go into the supermarket and the preist wants to buy a ham. The rabbi say, " I can't it eat it", its forbidden, couldn't eat it, its not allowed. Pigs are like super heros to them.
Is it perfect? No. I don't see you coming up with anything, and that people is what grinds my gears
Thank you Peter Griffin!

:lol:

[EnzoYug]

I once had a scooter. Someone at work moved it so they could park their motorcycle where I had parked. I thought it was exceedingly arrogant. Cars hate bikes, bikes hate scooters, where is the love?

Everyone hates pedestrians?

[pzkpfw]

Everyone hates pedestrians?

Lowest of the heap are lycra clad cyclists.

[Hitcher]

Lowest of the heap are lycra clad cyclists.

Lycra-clad, overweight, middle-aged treadly riders, if you need to calibrate that heap further. "111kg of sausage in a lycra sack", to misquote the prophet JamesII. Sad. Very sad.

Even sadder than overweight teenage girls in low-rider jeans and boob tubes.

[vifferman]

Even sadder than overweight teenage girls in low-rider jeans and boob tubes.
What about gurrls in their mid twenties, with engineering / computing degrees, who have enormous waterwings, very bleached hair, a food fixation, and low-rider jeans? :spudwhat:
(I just need to know, so I can tell her what Hitcher sez).

[Weaver]

Thank you Peter Griffin!

:lol:

You know what really grinds my gears?
This Lindsay Lohan. Yeah, Lindsay Lohan with all those little outfits, jumping around there on stage, half-naked with your little outfits, you know. You're up there jumping around and I'm just sitting here with my beer, so what am I supposed to do? What do want, you know? Are we gonna go out? Is that why your leaping around there, throwing those things all up in my face, huh?
What do you want, Lindsay? tell me what you want?
I'll tell you what you want. You want nothing. You want nothing all right? Because we all know that no women anywhere wants to have sex with anyone, and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise is... is just bogus.

[imdying]

I once had a scooter. Someone at work moved it so they could park their motorcycle where I had parked. I thought it was exceedingly arrogant. Cars hate bikes, bikes hate scooters, where is the love?That's not cool. First in first served, providing you're parked correctly then that's the end of it. Someone moving my scooter so they could park their bike would find their seat on the wrong end of a craft knife :angry2:

[vifferman]

Someone moving my scooter so they could park their bike would find their seat on the wrong end of a craft knife :angry2:
That's not cool. :no:

[imdying]

That's not cool. :no:Yes, to be honest, I'm not actually that nasty straight off the bat... they would have to consistently move my correctly parked scooter before I got that much of a bee in my bonnet. Fortunately I don't actually have a scooter, and my work provides parking for anything I bring into town :yes: Besides, I'd probably just boot their precious bike that was so more deserving of a parking space than mine, over :mad:

[vifferman]

Yes, to be honest, I'm not actually that nasty straight off the bat...
Fairy Nuff.
I have, on occasion, moved the odd scooter. But only the odd ones, mind, and then only if they were parked very inconsiderately.
And then only very slightly, so as to allow other two-wheeled conveyances to share the park.

To move it somewhere else altogether just so I could have the park all to myself would be most rude.

[imdying]

Yeah, if I parked my scooter like a wanker, then I'd expect to be treated as such... but if someone continually moved my little scooter just cause it was a little scooter, that'd raise my ire. I've no particular love for scooters, but they're still someones property, and not mine to touch.

[Hitcher]

What about gurrls in their mid twenties, with engineering / computing degrees, who have enormous waterwings

What are these "waterwings" of which you speak? One presumes you are not referring to those inflatable tubes one inserts one's arms through whilst indulging in aquatic pursuits?

[Hitcher]

You know what really grinds my gears?
This Lindsay Lohan. Yeah, Lindsay Lohan with all those little outfits, jumping around there on stage, half-naked with your little outfits, you know. You're up there jumping around and I'm just sitting here with my beer, so what am I supposed to do? What do want, you know? Are we gonna go out? Is that why your leaping around there, throwing those things all up in my face, huh?
What do you want, Lindsay? tell me what you want?
I'll tell you what you want. You want nothing. You want nothing all right? Because we all know that no women anywhere wants to have sex with anyone, and to titillate us with any thoughts otherwise is... is just bogus.

No wonder the front suspension on your bike is shagged.

[vifferman]

What are these "waterwings" of which you speak?
Those protruberances sported by a number of the females of our species, that give them added bouyancy in the water.

I made the mistake of looking at said waterwing-equipped annoyance today (she must be a most excellent swimmer, as her waterwings are ENORMOUS), and the waistband of her lowriders seems to be at least 150mm smaller than the 'muffin' bulging above it.

Aahhh!! My eyes! My eyes! :blank:

[doozy]

Taking the Simpsons quiz on Empire online, one question asked what Futurama character made a guest appearance on the Simpsons. Having stopped picking over the fetid stinking bloated corpse of the Simpsons, is it worth looking up the episode to see our Fry (presumably Fry) again?

This might be taking the thread away from its original purpose - but have you considered that the moped owner might have fallen into a cryogenic capsule?

It was the episode where Bart and Lisa get shown their future by Prof Frink(the future where they Lisa has a scolarship to Harvard). Anyway Homer owns one of the first (and only) hover cars (he also lives under the sea), he takes Bart out after he is dumped by his girlfriend. They fly through a tunnel and Bender is in the car, they throw him out ... but this is just off the top of my head. Do I watch far too much simpson episodes? Yes, yes I do :doh:

[Ocean1]

No wonder the front suspension on your bike is shagged.

Did we ever discover the extent of the shaggedness?

[Weaver]

Did we ever discover the extent of the shaggedness?

Yeah it turns I'm just a fucken idiot and that there was nothing wrong :shutup::sweatdrop:Oops::o

[Sully60]

Yeah it turns I'm just a fucken idiot and that there was nothing wrong :shutup::sweatdrop:Oops::o

So why did the bike feel so bad you couldn't continue the ride in the manner you wanted?

[Weaver]

It was purely physio phymatic. I got to the top of the hill and pushed down on the handle bars and thought "thats to much travel to be safe (what the fuck do I know)". Turns out it has always been like that and I only just noticed then.

But do you know what really grinds my gears?
Parents who let their kids do anything they want. I hate that. You know? Like when I'm in a restaurant trying to enjoying my dinner, and little junior son of a bitch over there is screaming his head off.

[Insanity_rules]

You know what really grinds my gears?

When I miss the clutch totally on a gear change, that really grinds my gears!

[Str8 Jacket]

Hey Jim, is that scooter still there? I just kinda walked past it to go get lunch and saw that red thing that looked liked it had a flatty....

[James Deuce]

That's the one.

Turns out the license plate number I quoted to people is wrong.

Now this does grind my gears, because this is an actual offence.

When you install your reg holder, you'r not supposed to obscure the lowest bar of the "E" so it looks like an "F".

F-wit.


I shall research again.

[Str8 Jacket]

That's the one.

Turns out the license plate number I quoted to people is wrong.

Now this does grind my gears, because this is an actual offence.

When you install your reg holder, you'r not supposed to obscure the lowest bar of the "E" so it looks like an "F".

F-wit.


I shall research again.

Aha, that's why I was confusseled! Though it looks like it could do with a thrashing.... While I really dislike scooters it does look like it could be taken over my back fence to the riverbank where there are dirt jumps and loads of gravel!

[Sully60]

While I really dislike scooters it does look like it could be taken over my back fence to the riverbank where there are dirt jumps and loads of gravel!


Count me in for some of that action!
Though I'll have to go last because I'll break it and everyone else will miss out on a turn.
It's not easy being a big boy.

[Str8 Jacket]

Count me in for some of that action!
Though I'll have to go last because I'll break it and everyone else will miss out on a turn.
It's not easy being a big boy.

hehe, we could make a day of it.... There is a lil pit bike sitting in my lounge that'd be perfect as well! :devil2:

[Sully60]

hehe, we could make a day of it.... There is a lil pit bike sitting in my lounge that'd be perfect as well! :devil2:

Ahem, I'd lose one of those things.






Just sitting on it

[Insanity_rules]

If you're a n00b to motorcycling; welcome. If you own a brand spanking red-with-silver-flames GPX250R (never forget the "R"), then well done. Lovely motorcycle.

If you've ridden your new bike to work for the first time and parked in the Jim2 Memorial Bike Park, then may I compliment you on your superb taste.

However next time, don't angle park or I'll be forced to do the old spin the bike on the sidestand trick. That will probably worry you if you see me doing it, but provided I don't throw it on its side, there should be no harm done.

What grinds my gears. Issue 1a

There's a Futong Scooter in the the Jim2 Memorial Park that is going to get removed in the next couple of days if you don't sort it. There's no need to abandon a perfectly adequate mode of urban transport because it has a flat tyre. The air went to the top of that tyre on the 21/12/2007. It's 2008. Come and pick your shit up.


Just out of curiousity here, where is the Jim2 memorial bike park?

[Str8 Jacket]

Just out of curiousity here, where is the Jim2 memorial bike park?

If you dont know, you're not worthy!

[Insanity_rules]

If you dont know, you're not worthy!

Thanks Hels, your a mate! Is it the one I always park in/ bitch about?

[James Deuce]

Abel Smith St, outside Datacom.

[Str8 Jacket]

Thanks Hels, your a mate! Is it the one I always park in/ bitch about?

Ummm, I dunno where you park dude.... Ive left the Min of Pain and work down the "other" end of town now..... Not being very helpful am I?! hehe

Lucky Jim's here to ruin all my fun! :p

[Insanity_rules]

Abel Smith St, outside Datacom.

Ahhhh, Have parked there a couple of times. I have clients around there.

[Str8 Jacket]

Ahhhh, Have parked there a couple of times. I have clients around there.

Do you pick them up from outside Real Groovy on Fri/Sat night?....

[James Deuce]

I had no idea big giant trannies rode VTZ's of Doom.

[Insanity_rules]

Ummm, I dunno where you park dude.... Ive left the Min of Pain and work down the "other" end of town now..... Not being very helpful am I?! hehe

Lucky Jim's here to ruin all my fun! :p

Ministrys loss huh? I park in Grey st. Got a footpath ticket there just before christmas. Lovely eh?

[Sully60]

the Jim2 Memorial Park

Hang on, if the is a "memorial" carpark then shouldn't you be dead or have disapeared without a trace?

Are you communicating with us from beyond the grave?

No wonder your so grumpy, I'd be pissed If I woke up dead too!

[James Deuce]

I wrote a long winded reply once.

Basically. I organised it. I shifted to another building. A KBer colleague memorialled it in my honour. Then I moved back.

Go it?

[Insanity_rules]

Do you pick them up from outside Real Groovy on Fri/Sat night?....


I had no idea big giant trannies rode VTZ's of Doom.

Yeah thanks you guys, I'll be collecting my handbag at the door and leaving now. Didn't you know that VTZ's of Doom are really comfortable to ride in a dress?

Oh and which night did you want to book again Str8, friday or saturday?

[Sully60]

Got it?
Erm yes sir.
I promise never to question you about that again sir.

Please don' beat me masser.:spanking:

[Str8 Jacket]

Oh and which night did you want to book again Str8, friday or saturday?

I thought that I could just ride by slowly (especially slow cause the A is almost dead) and pick you up? Isnt that how you normally "meet" your clients?

[Insanity_rules]

I thought that I could just ride by slowly (especially slow cause the A is almost dead) and pick you up? Isnt that how you normally "meet" your clients?

I had a dead A once, it was at the cricket and I forgot to bring my cushion.

I'll have to disapoint ya there. Now I know many KBers wish they could buy a turn on the insanity rules fun ride but sadly I'd be too busy if I charged for it being as cute as I am.

BTW did you guys know that turkish porn REALLY isn't as hot as it sounds? Hairy, hairy people!! Just hideous.

[Str8 Jacket]

BTW did you guys know that turkish porn REALLY isn't as hot as it sounds? Hairy, hairy people!! Just hideous.

Almost as hideous as the scooter in Jims memorial park!

Just trying to get this thread back on topic for Jim....

[Sully60]

Almost as hideous as the scooter in Jims memorial park!

Just trying to get this thread back on topic for Jim....

I don't know if there can be a cohesive topic that refers to scooters and gears at the same time.

I think the subjects of plagiarists of the plagiarists may shed some light though.

[Hitcher]

Hairy, hairy people!! Just hideous.

Be very careful where you go with that. Hirsuit people generally neither ride scroters or park in the Jim2 Memorial Motorcycle Park.

[Insanity_rules]

Be very careful where you go with that. Hirsuit people generally neither ride scroters or park in the Jim2 Memorial Motorcycle Park.

Hirsuit men look pretty normal and ride the largest, noisiest and scariest bikes...Its the hirsuit women thing that really sends me screaming into the street.

Oh and my very hairy Aunty rides a scroter! She looks like shes got buckwheat in a permanent head lock. Bitch so hairy that when she went to the zoo, they tried to throw her back in with the bears. Her hair dresser usually decides to stop perming at her shoulders for fear of doing her whole back!

[vifferman]

Be very careful where you go with that. Hirsuit people generally neither ride scroters or park in the Jim2 Memorial Motorcycle Park.
I like the 'scroters' but I think 'hairsuit' would be better.

A pedantrist will be along shirtly to point out it shud be 'hirsute'. but that's wrong,, because weir talking about a mail.

[Swoop]

You know what really grinds my gears?

When I miss the clutch totally on a gear change, that really grinds my gears!
You know what really grinds my gears?
When you are tootling along with your foot under the gear lever, then some moron cager does someting stupid and I go to change down, but the brain works in reverse for some illogical reason, and I change up.
That's what dosen't grind my gears, but gets a really bad stalling sensation...:doh:

[Weaver]

You know what really grinds my gears?
Those X-ray specs you used to buy out of the comics.
I save up forever to buy these things and when I finally get'em I couldn't see inside my son's belly. See, I wanted to see if he'd eaten the last TimTam, cos I told him I wanted it.
Boy I tell you that really grinds my gears.

[MDR2]

Everyone hates pedestrians?

Not entirely true! I like a good percentage of the female peds walking through New Market.

Most of them i'd like to make my special friend.

[crazefox]

If you're a n00b to motorcycling; welcome. If you own a brand spanking red-with-silver-flames GPX250R (never forget the "R"), then well done. Lovely motorcycle.

If you've ridden your new bike to work for the first time and parked in the Jim2 Memorial Bike Park, then may I compliment you on your superb taste.

However next time, don't angle park or I'll be forced to do the old spin the bike on the sidestand trick. That will probably worry you if you see me doing it, but provided I don't throw it on its side, there should be no harm done.

What grinds my gears. Issue 1a

There's a Futong Scooter in the the Jim2 Memorial Park that is going to get removed in the next couple of days if you don't sort it. There's no need to abandon a perfectly adequate mode of urban transport because it has a flat tyre. The air went to the top of that tyre on the 21/12/2007. It's 2008. Come and pick your shit up.

Good on ya mate

Ps when is issue 2 out?

[Winter]

you know what really grinds me gears?

I spend all this money buying expensive bottles of whiskey, congac, rum, tequilla etc, and the bottles never last! When are they going to invent ones that have some sort of magic never emptying capacity?

And that kids, is what really grinds my gears!