Best analogy competition.

[Big Dave]

No rules - just post them. New ones preferably.


'Face like a dropped pie.'

[Pussy]

Disappeared quicker than a fart in a fan factory

[bungbung]

goes together like cheese and baghdad

[Disco Dan]

"That woman has more issues than a years subscription to Womans Day magazine"



"More RAM than a field of sheep"

[Stirts]

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

[Qkchk]

That word was as impressive as 'Marmite' or 'Wheelbarrow'

[ManDownUnder]

"every now and then you realise your workplace is a zoo, and the monkeys seem to be in charge"

[MGST]

Thick as fuck, and twice as ugly ( or stupid - you choose for the situation ).

[Mully]

Dumb as a box of hammers

Stupid as a ham hock

[Mully]

More dangerous than a monkey with a gun

Abanded like a baby in a dumpster

Gutted, like a Jack the Ripper victim.

[Pwalo]

Well that's screwed then.

[Number One]

Not an analogy...but like it all the same - When asked so what's this stuff good for?

Reply very quickly:

Coughs, colds, sore holes, rocks, pocks piles and pimples on yer dicky!

[007XX]

Not an analogy...but like it all the same - When asked so what's this stuff good for?

Reply very quickly:

Coughs, colds, sore holes, rocks, pocks piles and pimples on yer dicky!

Just tried that...and i'fe goft a blifter on my tongue...:p

[more_fasterer]

Well that went down like a cup of cold sick

[Swoop]

"every now and then you realise your workplace is a zoo, and the monkeys seem to be in charge"

You are familiar with the "5 monkey theory"?

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!

Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here ...

... and that's how company policy begins.



"Face like a pavement pizza".

[Number One]

Just tried that...and i'fe goft a blifter on my tongue...:p

Hee hee - so easy for me though I do have a rather talented mouth muscle.:blink:
Try holding yer face like this...:crazy:

[007XX]

Hee hee - so easy for me though I do have a rather talented mouth muscle.:blink:
Try holding yer face like this...:crazy:

Oh I am told I can make that face...:innocent:

[scumdog]

Not an analogy...but like it all the same - When asked so what's this stuff good for?

Reply very quickly:

Coughs, colds, sore holes, rocks, pocks piles and pimples on yer dicky!

Hey, that sounds like a description for 'New Snibbo' - is it??:wait:

[WRT]

She had a face like a half chewed minty.

[hellnback]

"From the back she looked like a fridge with a head"

(Stole that from 'Kenny' the movie that was on the other day!!)

[Mental Trousers]

"Pulling like a 15 year old on the internet with a credit card"

[MisterD]

Swept off his feet like an Australian tagger.

Nervous as Steve Bucknor in a New Delhi bar at closing time.

[gunnyrob]

Spending money like a drunken sailor.

[sAsLEX]

analogy (plural analogies)

1. The use of a similar example or model to explain or extrapolate from.

The birthing class instructor used a balloon and a ping-pong ball as an analogy for the baby in the womb.
Many use the Gospels' analogy of a mustard seed growing into a huge plant to explain faith.





Saying these are analogies is like calling Helen attractive.

[Drew]

Sweating like a peodophile at a playground.


Black as a coal miners drawers.


Let's make like bald men, and be out of here.

[c4.]

[QUOTE=sAsLEX;1391950]analogy (plural analogies)

1. The use of a similar example or model to explain or extrapolate from.

The birthing class instructor used a balloon and a ping-pong ball as an analogy for the baby in the womb.


My mate's very tiny girlfriend gave birth to a 9 pound 1 oz (4.11kg) baby boy yesterday, his analogy, " it was like watching a 3 seat sofa being pushed thru a cat door":shit:

[Marknz]

Face like a slapped arse

[Hitcher]

This has gone off like a bucket of prawns.

And I've been busier than a Beirut blockie.


(Haven't we done this before?)

[Big Dave]

This has gone off like a bucket of prawns.

And I've been busier than a Beirut blockie.


(Haven't we done this before?)

deja ology.

Yeah - I was seeking new content - merge 'em if preferable.

[Trouser]

Fanny like a wizards sleeve.

You had to be there.

[McJim]

Shaggin 'er was like throwing a sausage through a doorway.

She had a face like a melted gumboot.

She had a face the colour of a ripe apple and the texture of an orange, sadly there the resemblence to anything sweet ended. (apologies to Douglas Adams)

[Pussy]

Had a face like the south end of a north bound horse

[Drew]

Busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.

[skidMark]

by me...."your head is so far up your own ass it's on your neck again"

[Trudes]

She's so up herself you need a pilot's licence just to speak to her.

[Number One]

She's soooo anally retentive, she can't sit down for fear of SUCKING UP THE FURNITURE! :laugh:

[Qkchk]

A Hooker like a box of KFC - Got good Breasts and Legs with a greasy box to stick your bone in....

[Qkchk]

Her Vagina looked like a Bulldog eating Custard

[DMNTD]

She's nuttier than squirrel shit!

[Number One]

Another oldie but goodie...

Someone asks - How you today?
You answer - Box o birds...all shit and feathers!

[vifferman]

analogy (plural analogies)

1. The use of a similar example or model to explain or extrapolate from.

The birthing class instructor used a balloon and a ping-pong ball as an analogy for the baby in the womb.
Many use the Gospels' analogy of a mustard seed growing into a huge plant to explain faith.
As irritating as a pedantrist with a dictionary.

[Qkchk]

He was a pimple on the arse of society...............

[Hitcher]

As irritating as a pedantrist with a dictionary.

As interesting as a pedant with a dictionary...

[McJim]

As pedantic as a Hitcher on a Yamaha! :rofl:

[RantyDave]

As useful as a chocolate fireguard.

[Marknz]

head like a busted fuck

more cheek than a fat mans arse

face like the rear end of a tram smash

heart of gold, head like a chicken

[Timber020]

Hes a few chromazones short of a potato

If he was any dumber he would need watering

As useless as a frenchman in a firefight

Shes so fat the tide follows her

She makes the german army look easy going

[Laava]

So ugly even the tide wouldn't go out with me, errrr, him!

[Mort]

I'm not saying the wife's ugly, but last christmas she stood under the mistle toe waiting for someone to kiss and she was still there at lent. In fact she went to see that film the Elephant Man and the audience thought she was making a personal appearance.

Tommorrow it's the mother-in-law's funeral...and she's cancelled it.

Funny thing how you first meet the woman that you marry. I first met the wife in a tunnel of love. She was digging it.

I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.

The wife's Mother said, "When you're dead, I'll dance in your grave." I said: "Good, I'm being buried at sea."

I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussard's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said, 'Keep her moving sir, we're stock-taking'

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite. You see the trouble is he's very old fashioned. When he gives you an injection you have to bite on a bullet.

Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up.

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough."

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

[Big Dave]

As pedantic as a Hitcher on a Yamaha! :rofl:


As lame as that.



Sorry man - you know it's just an opportunity.

[Dave-]

"lets get the hell out of this hole like a used tampon"

work mate told me it, he claims ownership.

[motorbyclist]

"sticks like shit to a blanket"

"just like a bought one" (in reference to a DIY job of dubious quality, commonly in conjunction with "it's not just good, it's good enough!")

"sticks out like a sore thumb"

"as slow as a wet week"

"clear as mud"

"sweating like a rapist"

"as fun as watching paint dry and rain fall"

"like fucking a bucket of warm water"

"she's so skinny (or loose) you could have a fuck and a wank at the same time"

"let's make like a tree and stay"

[MidnightMike]

As laughable as Skidmarks 'Im leaving KB' thread....

[Biggles08]

As tight as a Nun on prom night!

[Drew]

As tight as a Nun on prom night!

Too elaborate further...

As tight as a nuns one, and twice as smelly.

[nudemetalz]

(When leaving) "..Make like a Russian and Bug'roff-ski.."

[Kendog]

Organising KBers for a piss up (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=63184), is like herding cats.

[Big Dave]

"Pim has said that if you want to be part of his squad you have to be consistent more often than not. " - Harry Kewell.

'consistent more often than not.'

my brain hurts.

[Laava]

Cold as your mother in laws kiss!

[Pussy]

May have been mentioned last time, but...... cold as a whore's heart

[PrincessBandit]

When every thing turns to shit, remember there will be a whole family of very happy dung beetles.

[Daffyd]

Useless as tits on a bull.

[Big Dog]

As comfortable as Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert...

[Coyote]

As awesome as me

[Big Dog]

As awesome as me

As deluded as Coyote.

[Pussy]

Another one I always seem to use to describe wind..... blowing like a busload of queers

[Big Dave]

As deluded as Coyote.

wow! dog fight!

[Big Dog]

wow! dog fight!

Nope just an analogy.
Referring to oneself as awesome is as Big Dave calling himself a great photographer, it may be true but self praise is no praise at all.

[Coyote]

Nope just an analogy.
Referring to oneself as awesome is as Big Dave calling himself a great photographer, it may be true but self praise is no praise at all.
I should've added in a smilie to emphasis how unserious I was being :wari:

[McJim]

Nope just an analogy.
Referring to oneself as awesome is as Big Dave calling himself a great photographer, it may be true but self praise is no praise at all.

As analogous as a Big Dog worrying a Coyote. :rofl:

As hot and wet as the armpit of a Russian shot putter in a sauna.

[Big Dave]

As stressed as BD. :cool:

[Swoop]

As welcome as a reggae band at a Ku Klux Clan convention.

[sAsLEX]

As useless as a wellnut.

[Kemet]

[quote=sAsLEX;1391950]analogy (plural analogies)

1. The use of a similar example or model to explain or extrapolate from.

The birthing class instructor used a balloon and a ping-pong ball as an analogy for the baby in the womb.


My mate's very tiny girlfriend gave birth to a 9 pound 1 oz (4.11kg) baby boy yesterday, his analogy, " it was like watching a 3 seat sofa being pushed thru a cat door":shit:


Shaggin 'er was like throwing a sausage through a doorway.



Along that line I got this on from a lecturer when in a class at teachers college. If you are not familiar with Dunedin this may not make sense tho the quotes above should help....

Having sex after childbirth is like throwing a banana into the octagon.

[Ducman]

If his IQ were 2 points lower, he'd be a geranium!

[Big Dog]

Verdana is a very clear font but is very ugly, much like a glass sculpture of Helen Clarke.

[yod]

[quote=c4.;1392000]



Along that line I got this on from a lecturer when in a class at teachers college. If you are not familiar with Dunedin this may not make sense tho the quotes above should help....

Having sex after childbirth is like throwing a banana into the octagon.

or throwing a sausage up [insert street name here]


sweating like a rapist always goes down well.......

[Big Dog]

sweating like a rapist always goes down well.......

Much prefer the slightly less offensive sweating like a whore at happy hour.

[motorbyclist]

nah, sweating like a pedo at a playschool is the best

[Big Dave]

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 legs missing.

[Maha]

With teeth like that she could eat a pie through a pickett fence!

[Big Dave]

Huge shot rejection in the Basketball and Carfino says:

'Don't be bringing that lemonade to a grown man's party'.

[skidMark]

Born in the ugly tree, hit every branch on the way down.

Is that even an anology? cut me some slack school was long ago.

[Mikkel]

Anal orgy - where?

[Ducman]

All the personality of a bucket of snot

[skidMark]

Anal orgy - where?


Local honda dealership.

Or red baron.:buggerd:

[Nagash]

It's not that they don't like you.. it's just.. well, let me put it this way. Way someone steps in something what a dog's done they tend to say, whoops I stepped in a Mark.

~BlackAdder rocks! :yes:

[Swoop]

As courageous as the french army!:chase:

[The Stranger]

more cheek than a fat mans arse


More chins than the Chinese phone book.

[Murray]

How Cool??? As cool as a bucket of diarohia

Did you miss me??? Like I miss a hangover

[MisterD]

Phil Liggett at the TdF:

Any time now, those cars will be ordered out of the way to give those riders a chance. All the carrots will be taken out of the fruit bowl.

What a legend:2thumbsup

[Drew]

That'll go down like a cup of cold sick!

[ukbandit]

faster than you can say "petrol price increase":yawn:

[Indiana_Jones]

Sweating more then a nigger in a cotton field

-Indy

[shafty]

As useless as an ashtray on a motorbike

This (eg) hill goes on and on like an ex wife

As camp as a row of tents

[avgas]

As pretty as Aunt Helen

[Murray]

Speaking of Helen

Shes as hot as a skunk on heat

[avgas]

As open as ground zero

[Murray]

useless as tits on a bull

balls as big as water melons

1/2 a sandwich short of a picnic

[avgas]

As positive as the fonz

[NOMIS]

You are familiar with the "5 monkey theory"?

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!

Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here ...

... and that's how company policy begins.



"Face like a pavement pizza".

Becasue like humans , Mokeys are scared of failure and bcome to scared to try or to let others.. Once one fails they will tell others that they will fail to for trying the same things. annnyways

Any way carry on with the analogies. SOME ARE GREAT!!! :-)

[The Stranger]

or throwing a sausage up [insert street name here]



A c*&t like a horse collar perhaps?

[fireball]

just like a cheque in the mail

[The Stranger]

just like a cheque in the mail

Nah that's just a lie.

The 3rd biggest lie actually.

[Big Dave]

As stupid as the 5 monkey theory.


I understand it's a parable

[fireball]

as lively as the adams family

[monchopper]

Happy as a cock in a c\/nt shop

[Swoop]

As useful as Anne Franks' drumkit.

[Forest]

The road had more curves than a Pirelli calendar.

[Murray]

Trust me as you would Helen

[Skyryder]

As dangerouse as a drunk in a long drop.


As faggy as a smoko room.



Skyryder

[Big Dave]

As useful as Anne Franks' drumkit.

Certainly in the final.

[Little Miss Trouble]

make like john key and get the helen out of here....

[Swoop]

As popular as iron-on tatoos.

[MidnightMike]

As sexy as Tariana Turia riding a Bimota Mantra.









Naked.

[meteor]

sweating like a rapist... or was that pig... is there a difference? yeah I know... build a bridge!

[Movistar]

As useless as a cock on a cow.

[kevfromcoro]

faster than micheal jackson chassing a school bus

[noobi]

as useless as a condom machine at the Vatican

[Al]

as useful as tits on a tortoise

[noobi]

from my guitar teacher

as tight as a virgin nun's asshole
:devil2:

[nighthawk]

She had thigh's that could kick start a boeing

He stood out like a porkchop at a Jewish wedding

she had spanner eye's, every time she looked at me my nuts would tighten

[ukbandit]

Had a face like the south end of a north bound horse


got an arse like a charging rhino

[kevfromcoro]

That bike is so gutless
it wouldnt pull a niga of your sister

[Karl08]

He was on that meal like George W Bush on Iraq

[Monamie]

As rare as Rocking Horse Poo.

[Bass]

Dry as a buzzard's crutch.

Scarce as hen's teeth

Outta here, like a Brazilian

[Hemex]

as happy as a suicide bomber threatened to be killed

[Kflasher]

No rules - just post them. New ones preferably.


'Face like a dropped pie.'

"A flat tire is just like a dead hore, kicking it wont help"

[Hitcher]

As repetitive as a KB repost...

[Mort]

Released from the supoort of her brasia, her breasts dropped like hanged men.

[Hitcher]

Released from the supoort of her brasia, her breasts dropped like hanged men.

Was that a Sony Brasia? They're famous for supoort.

[Big Dave]

You have to pick a favourite and bling it Hitcher.
I have decided on moine.

[Hitcher]

You have to pick a favourite and bling it Hitcher.

I am as conflicted as a politician on election day.

[GTRMAN]

flew gracefully through the air, exactly the way a brick wouldn't

[soundbeltfarm]

cool for cats
good enough for the girls i go out with
seen better looking heads drinking out of my farm troughs

[Skyryder]

Smarter than Bush without the hairs on the palms of the hands.




Skyryder

[Gubb]

As inaudible as a Bass guitar.

[Big Dave]

As inaudible as a Bass guitar.

We should start a 2009 list?

[Hitcher]

We should start a 2009 list?

Off you go then.

[Big Dave]

Off you go then.

I am as bereft of new ones as a.....

[Dean]

We should start a 2009 list?

snap snap then buddy of you go

[MIXONE]

As friendly as a p addict after a 5 day binge.

She could suck start a harley on a cold winter's morning.

[MsKABC]

Like throwing a mars bar down a hallway.

[Big Dave]

Hitch - just change the title to 'Best analogy competition.' ?

Job done.

[Hitcher]

Hitch - just change the title to 'Best analogy competition.' ?

"Competition" implies fabulous prizes?

As satisfying as a KB online competition?

Job done.

[Big Dave]

"Competition" implies fabulous prizes?

As satisfying as a KB online competition?

Job done.


KB is its own reward.

Blung was flung

[wbks]

Free pair of Quasimoto gloves for the best analogy!

[DarkLord]

As thick as two planks of wood with cement in between.

[Timaa]

the toy boat floated gracefully along exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't:whistle:.

[Marknz]

courtesy of Billy Connelly last week...

"She had a face that could turn a funeral procession"

[Skyryder]

As dumb as a Darwinian creationist useing their shoe lace as a razor strop.

Skyryder

[Fatjim]

A good one I heard the other day.

Adding more people to a project expecting it to finish quicker is like asking 9 women to make a baby in 1 month.

[gatch]

So useless he couldn't teach a shit to stink..

A face that would make Stevie Wonder cringe..

[Mikkel]

Hmmm, saw an "r" where there was none. Disappointed... :(

[Tone165]

As dry as a Pommie's bathmat..

As full as a Butchers Dog...

and this is one of my own...

Better to pay for one riding lesson too many, than one to few....

[MaxB]

Dog themed:

'A turbo boost gauge the size of a fat spaniels face!' ... Jeremy Clarkson

She had a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle.

[Forest]

courtesy of Billy Connelly last week...

"She had a face that could turn a funeral procession"

Billy Connelly again

"They made me feel as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdEaklpw4ts

[LBD]

His beer was warmer than the look in her eye....

She came on to him like a slow moving cold front...

And in a different vein, myself and a collegue were following a land cruiser in the NT with at least 15 indig...indid....indijo....native Australians in, on, and hanging out of it. My work mate came out, dry as you like, with a Forrest Gump quote..."Life is like a box of chocholate"....Brilliant!

[Badjelly]

As pointless as an analogy competition on a motorbike forum?

Or has that been suggested already?

[vtec]

All over the place like a mad woman's shit.

As crazy as a cut snake.

Tight like a tiger.

[Big Dave]

As pointless as an analogy competition on a motorbike forum?

Or has that been suggested already?

It's our contribution to the rich fabric of communication.

[peasea]

She's got teeth like the stars; they come out at night.

Not worth a cunt full of cold snow.

They cut the dicks off the stupid ones at birth.

If she didn't have a fanny we'd chuck rocks at her.

As queer as a concrete parachute.

I've seen better heads on a pimple.

[firecracker]

As scarce as rocking horse shit.

As sour as a dog's arsehole with a wedge of lemon stuffed in it.

Could shit through the eye of a needle over 10 rows of cabbages.

A button hole in a fur coat's not safe with him around.

[Laava]

I like Borats' "Her vagina hang like sleeve of wizard!"

[cave weta]

His face looked like he had just stuck his finger through his toilet paper

[Max Preload]

(Stole that from 'Kenny' the movie that was on the other day!!)

Another one from that movie, that I liked is "Busier than a one-armed bricklayer in Baghdad."

[UberRhys]

"so full of shit your eyes are brown"

[Skyryder]

Sex is like a box of chocolates. Ya never know what ya got until you remove the wrapper. A soft centre or hard core.

Apologies Forest Gump.

Skry ryder

[Grizzo]

Hunched over like a dog rooting a cricket ball!

[EJK]

Why did the chicken walked into a bar

[c4.]

She looked like her face had caught fire, and someone had tried to put it out with a screwdriver.

[tigertim20]

As tired as a bangkok hooker on a sunday after the navy left town

[boman]

Wouldn't kick her out of bed for farting.

:wari::gob:

[kit]

I suffer from stress induced tourettes (FFS)

[mctshirt]

Face like a busted arsehole

She gave me the catbum face (you know the one when it looks like she sucked a lemon)

I feel like...you look like...bike's running like - a bag full of arseholes (all purpose)

She's got a dozen stubbies face/body (till it looks good)

He's got a dick like a pencil = tight fisted wanker

Shoot through like a Bondi tram (an Australian may have to translate)

He was all over the place like a mad woman's shit (a personal favourite)

Fucks around like an old lady at a christening

Tired as a fat boy chasing a doughnut rolling down a hill

She could suck the chrome off a towball OR the sheets up your arse

In that T-shirt her tits looked like a couple of puppies fighting in a sack

If I came home and she was lying on my bed naked and she played her cards right...she could have me

It looked like a gutted hedgehog...

[gwigs]

Black as a gorrilla,s goolies

A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle

Useless as a one legged man in an arse kicking competition.

[crazyhorse]

He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree

[allycatz]

More arse than Jessie the cow!

[boman]

Outta here like a bald man.

Built like a brick shit house.

[AD345]

Flat out like a lizard drinking

[c4.]

She looked like something I'd draw with my left hand

[Usarka]

Reading his thread is like an eye full of pus as you squeeze your girlfriends arse pimple.

[Maha]

Reading his thread is like an eye full of pus as you squeeze your girlfriends arse pimple.

In your eye????
Shouldn't that be you tounge?....you have of the 'Great Burmese Boil Sucker' right?...:baby:

[MIXONE]

Sucking on the snotty end of my fuckstick.

[flyingcr250]

gotta face like a twisted ug-boot

[cc rider]

limp as a sausage skin full of soft ice cream

(before anyone asks - nut fudge flavour :eek:)

[boman]

The schizophrenic was beside themselves with anger.

[saltydog]

If my dog had a face like yours i'd shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards.
No point pissing into the wind.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

[Big Dave]

Classy as an Arse Biscuit.

[nighthawk]

One from Kenny "mate there's a stink in here that could out last religion"

[TOTO]

heard at a bike shop...."we've been busyer than a $5 hooker on K' road on a friday night"

[boman]

A bit nipple this morning.

Only don't mention it to ladies with a pair of pokies. The long silence that follows, before you realise what you said and why you got that reaction, is rather embarrassing.

:clap::wari::spanking:

[Firefight]

He's as useful as cunt full of cold water !!



F/F

[NZ CBR]

Face like a......

Dropped mince pie...

................or a Crap filled Vagina


:gob:

[Naki Rat]

Sweating like a rapist :sweatdrop

[newbould]

As big as a ski instructors ego.
As opinionated as a KiwiBiker
As hard to educate as a born again biker

[Ooky]

she has a hourglass figure with ten minutes left :rolleyes:

[cc rider]

she has a hourglass figure with ten minutes left :rolleyes:

tip her on her side & she'll last longer :buggerd:

[Thermo King]

He'd a head on him like a bastard rat


As thick as two short planks

[ukbandit]

arse like a charging rhino!

[ukbandit]

had a face like a slapped arse!

[kevfromcoro]

that bike wouldent pull a sick whore out of bed...................

[YellowDog]

If 'AssHoles' had wings, this place would be an airport

[TOTO]

Champagne lifestyle on a beer income.

[The Stranger]

She has more chins than the Chinese phone book.

[one fast tl1ooo]

thats gota be better than a slap round the belly with a dead fish

[Timmay]

goes like a whore on P

[Usarka]

Like a blind stoned cowboy.

[Big Dave]

Like a blind stoned cowboy.
getting bumps and bruises from doorways he don't even know.
And Huxley's not even the tone.

[Big Dave]

Like licking piss off nettles. - Fry, S.

[Hitcher]

Harder than calculus.

[The Stranger]

As tight as a schoolboy.

[Jinxycat]

thats good.......lol

[tribsanor]

more vans than a dutch phonebook

[Bald Eagle]

Couldn't run a piss up in a brewery with the caps off.

Been swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool.

[Bald Eagle]

tip her on her side & she'll last longer :buggerd:


role her in flour and look for the wet spot

[SMOKEU]

As reliable as a politicians promise.

[Ronin]

As busy as a bumhole at a Gay Mardi Gra

[cc rider]

As loose as a bumhole at a Gay Mardi Gra



role her in flour and look for the wet spotclose...
roll her in flour & fvck the wet spot

[SS90]

Fanny like a wizards sleeve.

[Big Dave]

As painful as Edward Scissor hands having a wank.

[Woodman]

One mans mona Lisa is another mans grinning fat tart.

Wouldn't pull a greasy sausage out of a horses ass.

[shafty]

As greasy as a Butchers prick

[scissorhands]

As painful as Edward Scissor hands having a wank.

pulling like a schoolboy

[KiWiP]

Sweating like a cornered virgin.

[ellipsis]

....Clint Eastwood might make your day but anal sex will make your hole weak...

[warewolf]

She bangs like a pub door on pay day

[Big Dave]

'She had a face like 40 miles of bad road' - Leghorn, F.

[Eyegasm]

This makes me angrier than a prostitute trying to put a rubber on an epileptic

[Ogmios]

had this one yet?

Brains to burn, but too thick to light.

oh - and Hello from a newb in....
Ireland. :facepalm:

:D

[Hinny]

I Aussie colloquialisms.
like
Dry as a Dead Dingo's Donga.

That would look like a Rat with a Gold Tooth.

Any others?

[Foxzee]

Throw him into a barrel of pink tits and he will still come out sicking him thumb.....

[nothingflash]

Pulls harder than a schoolboy

Couldn't pull a nigger off a farmers daughter

[Big Dave]

Any others?

She bangs like a dunny door in the wind. (thank you Barry McKenzie)

Cunnning as a shithouse rat.

Thirst you could photograph.

[pete376403]

"If your brains were dynamite you couldn't even blow your hat off" - (said by some old boot on Eastenders)

[Beren]

As loose as a bumhole at a Gay Mardi Gra


close...
roll her in flour & fvck the wet spot

Slap her arse and ride the waves.

Your mind is like a parachute - it works best open.

If eve looked like you the apes would be in charge.

As innocent as nuns doing press ups in a cucumber field.

As painful as a fly sliding down a razor blade with his balls for brakes into a saucer of salt.

As useful as haemaroids.

Proof that the theory of evolution isn't perfect.

[Beren]

I Aussie colloquialisms.
like
Dry as a Dead Dingo's Donga.

That would look like a Rat with a Gold Tooth.

Any others?

I couldn't give a fat rats clacker?

[c4.]

taking your wife to a business conference in thailand would be like taking a meat pie to a banquet

[Hinny]

"I haven't been fucked so hard since I was an altar boy." - Hank Moody, Californication.

[Neil avery]

Sounds like the beginning of 'religion', a blind faith in something that's seems like its the right thing to do but in reality is a load of shit.

[The Lone Rider]

"That's like fucking a donkey while tickling it's balls."

"A gun full of air is a bullet in the head"

[Coolz]

As fast as Katman to an accident thread....As frustrated as Hitcher at a dyslexia convention.......As black as Smokeu's heart.

[Big Dave]

Cutting as a Coolz.

[Coolz]

As articulate as an eighteen wheeler.