Understanding women?

[MVnut]

OK so I started the Sudoku in this morning Chch Press, then went to make a coffee n the missus says she'll do the Sudoku n asks where it is. I say "it's under Maria Sharapova, where I'd like to be".......and all hell breaks loose. go figure, did I say something wrong ?? (female opinions greatly appreciated):calm:

[Laava]

She has no sense of humour. Is she German?:sunny:

[nodrog]

OK so I started the Sudoku in this morning Chch Press, then went to make a coffee n the missus says she'll do the Sudoku n asks where it is. I say "it's under Maria Sharapova, where I'd like to be".......and all hell breaks loose. go figure, did I say something wrong ?? (female opinions greatly appreciated):calm:

i think you need this thread :laugh:

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=65655&highlight=lawyer

[autos]

must be the weather mate, mine had a hormone explosion last night and threw all her toys out the pram over well , not quite sure but me not cleaning the shower in the last three weeks was in there somewhere!! hmmm,:nono:

[YellowDog]

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

[99TLS]

DONT, never will

[Joni]

It's too late mate, you gotta train em right from the start...Yes master.... woof woof!

[007XX]

OK so I started the Sudoku in this morning Chch Press, then went to make a coffee n the missus says she'll do the Sudoku n asks where it is. I say "it's under Maria Sharapova, where I'd like to be".......and all hell breaks loose. go figure, did I say something wrong ?? (female opinions greatly appreciated):calm:

:rofl: :rofl:

Sorry mate, I am honeslty not laughing at you, just the situation...you poor bugger!

I can't tell you why your missus would have done a Hiroshima on you...I barely understand why I do sometimes :p
But there are two possibilities here:

1- she got offended at your very relaxed declaration of lust for someone else than herself. No, women in general do not have a sense of humour about these things...I personally thought it'd be hilarious if hubby said that, but eh, that's just me.

2- She's nearing that time of the month, and even barracudas have a more comprehensive sense of humour...she's feeling bloated, fat and her brain makes look to her own eyes like Greenpeace shoudl be sharing her bed, not you.

And then of course, it could be both at the same time, in which case, she won't forgive you for another say 2 weeks.

One advice for any time of the month: keep the humourous citation of other bodacious (and one may assume younger) beauties for your mates.

Good luck! :niceone:

[007XX]

Hey, I didn't say it doesn't go both ways!

Ok then... bend over!!! :devil2:

[Rashika]

...did I say something wrong ?? (female opinions greatly appreciated):calm:

see now THERES ya problem, you ASKED what you said wrong... :lol: you know you shouldn't do that :argue: ;)

[Stirts]

:killingme you in da dog box!!!

My advice? Get some KY cos you not gonna get any for sometime by the sounds. :doh:

[oldrider]

Next year I will be Seventy, I still have no idea what the answer to your question is!

Avoidance of the situation is a learned (but unexplainable) behaviour! :shifty: Good luck. Cheers, John.

[Coyote]

http://www.heretical.com/miscella/onwomen.html

Funny thing is if I was a women posting up a similar link but about men, I probably wouldn't be getting red rep soon.

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

I'm still laughing - enjoyed your sense of humour and quick wit. I don't understand why she got septic.

[Swoop]

Top 10 things you'll never hear one guy say to another guy:

10. She'll never understand that sometimes I just want to cuddle.

9. Our team lost 10-1. But we tried our best, and after all that's the important thing.

8. I'm deeply offended by young women who go braless.

7. You know what always makes me cry? Those long-distance commercials.

6. Want all my tools? I just realised I never do anything useful with them!

5. There's nothing I like more than a quiet evening at home, watching a movie on Lifetime about some woman who gives up her baby and then suffers miserably.

4. I think those big, jacked-up trucks look ridiculous.

3. I can't stop fantasising about Dr. Ruth!

2. I'm tired of beer. What say you to a nice, fruity Chablis?

1. Does my butt look fat in this?
---------------------------------------------------
Top 10 things you'll never hear one woman say to another woman:

10. I wish he wouldn't waste all that money on chocolate and flowers and buy something practical, like an iron.

9. I can't wait for the play-offs!

8. He talks our relationship to death! It's making me crazy!

7. We're redecorating the bedroom, and he keeps bugging me to help him with the colour choices!

6. I'm sick of dating doctors and lawyers! Give me a good old-fashioned waiter with a heart of gold any day!

5. He earned more than I do, so I broke up with him.

4. If he doesn't let me hold the remote, I get all moody.

3. His new girlfriend is thinner and better looking than I am, and I'm happy for them both.

2. Oh, look, that woman and I have the same dress on! I think I'll go introduce myself!

1. That swimsuit really flatters your figure! Would you mind keeping my husband company while I go for a swim?

[007XX]

:killingme

Aaaaahhh...don't you just love the good ol' classics?

[Disco Dan]

Tell her to stop being a fecking 'sally sensitive' and take her back and get a replacement.

Plenty of birds out there that understand men better. Yes ladies.. its not just some men that have trouble understanding...

you finished ironing my shirts yet? Make sure you do in between the buttons.

[trump-lady]

:rofl: :rofl:

Sorry mate, I am honeslty not laughing at you, just the situation...you poor bugger!

I can't tell you why your missus would have done a Hiroshima on you...I barely understand why I do sometimes :p
But there are two possibilities here:

1- she got offended at your very relaxed declaration of lust for someone else than herself. No, women in general do not have a sense of humour about these things...I personally thought it'd be hilarious if hubby said that, but eh, that's just me.

2- She's nearing that time of the month, and even barracudas have a more comprehensive sense of humour...she's feeling bloated, fat and her brain makes look to her own eyes like Greenpeace shoudl be sharing her bed, not you.

And then of course, it could be both at the same time, in which case, she won't forgive you for another say 2 weeks.

One advice for any time of the month: keep the humourous citation of other bodacious (and one may assume younger) beauties for your mates.

Good luck! :niceone:

Agreed and wanna add something:
Often women blow up over something small because there is another bigger issue that hasnt been addressed that you may not even be aware of. Take a few minutes to think of your partners mood, behaviour and recent behaviour (or your lack of it) and you might find there is a root cause.

If you cant think of one adress the issue.

Honey I know you got upset with me this morning and Im sorry that I offended you but I cant help but wonder if theres something else bothering you...or something to that effect.

It very well could be that theres no reason.....we do that sometimes :)

Sugest a dinner out and youll be back in the sack that night.

[007XX]

Agreed and wanna add something:
Often women blow up over something small because there is another bigger issue that hasnt been addressed that you may not even be aware of. Take a few minutes to think of your partners mood, behaviour and recent behaviour (or your lack of it) and you might find there is a root cause.

If you cant think of one adress the issue.

Honey I know you got upset with me this morning and Im sorry that I offended you but I cant help but wonder if theres something else bothering you...or something to that effect.

It very well could be that theres no reason.....we do that sometimes :)

Sugest a dinner out and youll be back in the sack that night.


very good point! :niceone:

However, I would suggest a thing or two when trying to air something she's not talking about:

First, be prepared for another explosion...cos she'll think you should know already, blah, blah...

Secondly, pick your time right and be patient...you might have to put up with a decent amount of verbal diarrhea before getting to the bottom of it, but listen and pay attention!!!

Then, go and have dinner...trying to have a potencially volatile discussion in a public place is a recipe for disaster.


Oh and also, sometimes, there is just no underlying reason...we're just grumpy, tired and want our mate to listen to us cry and then bring us a cup of hot chocolate (or tea if she's feeling fat :lol:) and really make us feel like he's on our side...

It may seem like hard work, but if you really love each other, it's just the sort of thing you'll get from being in a relationship.

[Pwalo]

OK so I started the Sudoku in this morning Chch Press, then went to make a coffee n the missus says she'll do the Sudoku n asks where it is. I say "it's under Maria Sharapova, where I'd like to be".......and all hell breaks loose. go figure, did I say something wrong ?? (female opinions greatly appreciated):calm:

Look you must be extracting the Michael. You spoke. You are wrong. Apologise.

Quit while you are ahead.

[Coyote]

You have MV's and Ducati's so the women is obviously a cow and into you for the money. Sack the bitch.

[bungbung]

How can you not know what's wrong? typical bloody male you're so insensitive etc. etc.

Does my co-worker dislike me? he gave me a box of Lion red.

[vifferman]

go figure, did I say something wrong ??
Sounds like you are looking for a sensible answer, and some logic, so you can understand what mistake you made, and not repeat it, and understand your woman. That's a very wise thing to do. :yes:



And entirely a waste of time. :pinch:

Quit while you're ahead. :eek:

This happened for no reason, or for some reason entirely unrelated to what you said, like she "knows someone who has a vaguely Russian-sounding name and the bitch is really pretty and skinny and it's not fair".

Next time something like this happens, it will be for some other entirely unrelated reason. So if you make a note to yourself, "I must not make references - no matter how flippant - about having relations with other women", you're wasting your time. The rules will be entirely different next time, because guess what?!?!

There are no rules.

There is no logic.

Women are subject to slight changes in the weather, the phases of the moon, the barometric pressure, the temperature, the relative humidity, etc., none of which are detectable by even the most sensitive and expensive scientific instruments. And these 'influences' are inconsistent and random.

They're also subject to influence by the stock prices in Kazakstan, the change in luminosity of a star 173,472 light years away, how many grains of sugar they put in their coffee this morning, and the exact position of each hair in their left eyebrow. (Next Wednesday, it will be their right eyebrow, then next time the moon is full, their eyebrows will never again have any bearing on what they say, feel or think, unless of course you happen to comment on them.)

Just learn to say, "Yes darling". "No dear", "Sorry, my precious." "I was wrong." "You were right." etc etc.

Of course, it won't fix things, but if you're lucky, it might make the fallout a bit easier to bear.

Or not.

[007XX]

Women are subject to slight changes in the weather, the phases of the moon, the barometric pressure, the temperature, the relative humidity, etc., none of which are detectable by even the most sensitive and expensive scientific instruments. And these 'influences' are inconsistent and random.

They're also subject to influence by the stock prices in Kazakstan, the change in luminosity of a star 173,472 light years away, how many grains of sugar they put in their coffee this morning, and the exact position of each hair in their left eyebrow. (Next Wednesday, it will be their right eyebrow, then next time the moon is full, their eyebrows will never again have any bearing on what they say, feel or think, unless of course you happen to comment on them.)

Just learn to say, "Yes darling". "No dear", "Sorry, my precious." "I was wrong." "You were right." etc etc.

Of course, it won't fix things, but if you're lucky, it might make the fallout a bit easier to bear.

Or not.

:lol::lol::lol:

Do you have any idea how hard it is to conceal the sudden burst of mirth (created by your post) from my co workers, in an office that's about 3 x 5?

You gonna get me in trouble!!! :spanking::2thumbsup

[Dilligaf]

You're all wrong.

Clearly you have not been giving her enough mate.... that's why she's upset that you want to be underneath someone else - she's tired of waiting her turn... :niceone:

[Pwalo]

You're all wrong.

Clearly you have not been giving her enough mate.... that's why she's upset that you want to be underneath someone else - she's tired of waiting her turn... :niceone:

I think he said that he was talking about his wife.

[Dilligaf]

I think he said that he was talking about his wife.

Ahah, you see this is where you men go wrong.
MVman says that in a conversation with his missus this morning, he drops the comment that he'd like to be under Ms Scharapova (sp?) whereupon the missus spit the dummy. He couldn't figure out why...

I am simply saying that perhaps Mrs MVMan needs a 'bit' not jokes about him giving it to other females.

Or am I to understand Pwalo that you don't give your missus any either? :doh:

[SPman]

and don't get started on toilet seats.............:no:......:argue:.......:Pokey:

[vifferman]

:spanking::2thumbsup
Yes, that would be good.

[MSTRS]

Dear Abby...Are all women the same?
Dear PoorBastard...Essentially. Yes.
Dear Abby...Homicidal maniacs?
Dear PoorBastard...Essentially. Yes.
Dear Abby...Oh.
Dear PoorBastard...Was that a question?
Dear Abby...Umm...No??

[PrincessBandit]

Oy vey, some of us don't understand each other either, so all the very best to you! It will blow over though; personally I'd have probably been even meaner to my husband and just burst out laughing if he'd said that to me :whistle:

[007XX]

I am simply saying that perhaps Mrs MVMan needs a 'bit' not jokes about him giving it to other females.


That's a very valid point...we chicks get antsy too if we don't get enough. You boys don't have the monopole on this one, although you'd like to think so cos you're all prize stallions, aren't ya?

:rofl: Tui moment :clap:


and don't get started on toilet seats.............:no:......:argue:.......:Pokey:

Honestly?? :whocares: I just put the freakin' thing down...


Yes, that would be good.

C'mon then...give it your best shot! :nya:

[Big Dave]

If the roles were reversed and she answered with - 'On top of Nadal - like I'd like to be' how would you feel?

Respect your partners.

[BIHB@0610]

I agree that sometimes it makes us women uncomfortable to hear that our man thinks another, sportier, browner, hotter chick is attractive. And sometimes we will respond using our ovaries not our brain. It's an unfortunate result of biology, and most women are slaves to it. The word "hysteria" didn't originate from the word "hyster" meaning "uterus" for nothing ..... good argument for a hysterectomy methinks but I digress .....

Who knows exactly what pushed your lady's buttons? If it was that she was a bit intimidated or territorial, the way to fix it is to show her that you think she is the hottest thing in the solar system. Tell her she's hot, show her she's hot, groan like you're out of control when you're making love to her (or shagging, or whatever you like to call it). It'd work for me - but really, asking other people for advice might get you in more trouble! Every woman is so different! Bringing her flowers might work for her - if someone bought me flowers they'd be down the road with a boot mark in their arse quicker than Scrivy and Sidecar Bob in front of an LCR.

Sorry poppet - we're just complicated. Goodwill goes a long way though :niceone:

[Pwalo]

Ahah, you see this is where you men go wrong.
MVman says that in a conversation with his missus this morning, he drops the comment that he'd like to be under Ms Scharapova (sp?) whereupon the missus spit the dummy. He couldn't figure out why...

I am simply saying that perhaps Mrs MVMan needs a 'bit' not jokes about him giving it to other females.

Or am I to understand Pwalo that you don't give your missus any either? :doh:

Any? Listen I've got teenagers...........

[vifferman]

... we're just complicated.
complicated = irrational and making excuses for it

[jrandom]

If the roles were reversed and she answered with - 'On top of Nadal - like I'd like to be' how would you feel?

Respect your partners.

Best answer yet.

[BIHB@0610]

complicated = irrational and making excuses for it

Irrational = thinks differently to a man??? That's a product of biology too - we are wired to be more sensitive and more in tune with our emotions so that we bond with kids, can understand what they want when they're crying without being able to talk to them, and will defend them to the death if a sabre tooth tiger strolls into our cave.

You might think I'm making excuses, but really I was just trying to explain.

I think women are complicated to a lot of men - and men are complicated to a lot of us! Heck, I'm complicated to myself sometimes. Doesn't mean we can't all get along if we talk to each other and keep the goodwill going. :grouphug:

[The Tazman]

Funny I got these today in an email. Thought they might help :D

Oh and I thought what you said was :laugh:

[Bikernereid]

Not that I profess to understand women at all, even though I am one, but I think she is a tad sensitive!!! But if I were you I would give up trying to understand women, they are ALL INSANE!! Without wanting to sound sexist (I know this will piss of the fminists) but is it her time of the month?

I thought what you said was funny , but then again I am a sick n twisted individual (see did not say woman).


OK so I started the Sudoku in this morning Chch Press, then went to make a coffee n the missus says she'll do the Sudoku n asks where it is. I say "it's under Maria Sharapova, where I'd like to be".......and all hell breaks loose. go figure, did I say something wrong ?? (female opinions greatly appreciated):calm:

[MSTRS]

...and men are complicated to a lot of us!...

No we're not. If we are hungry, feed us. If we are randy, relieve us. Otherwise leave us alone.
:chase:

[sidecar bob]

if someone bought me flowers they'd be down the road with a boot mark in their arse quicker than Scrivy and Sidecar Bob in front of an LCR.

Sorry poppet - we're just complicated. Goodwill goes a long way though :niceone:

Damn, that really is complicated aint it? Imagine buying someone flowers & getting the boot for your effort.

[Bikernereid]

Sorry I thought if you were watching tv and thirsty we were supposed to get you beer too. Shit have been doing it wrong, next time will tell the lazy fucker to get it himself as I am only supposed to feed and relieve him!!

Thanks mate, you are a gem!!!!:niceone:


No we're not. If we are hungry, feed us. If we are randy, relieve us. Otherwise leave us alone.
:chase:

[MSTRS]

Damn....see, we're so simple I missed one.:crybaby:

[Bikernereid]

That is why women are here- to point out your mistakes!!!!!:shit:


Damn....see, we're so simple I missed one.:crybaby:

[Trudes]

Throw her up against the kitchen bench once she's finished the dishes and give her a good hard shag and yell "Yeah Maria", that should do it.

[Bikernereid]

Sure will do if he's into SnM!!


Throw her up against the kitchen bench once she's finished the dishes and give her a good hard shag and yell "Yeah Maria", that should do it.

[Trudes]

Isn't everyone???;)

[Bikernereid]

Not by the look of the scores on the kinky test post on here!!


Isn't everyone???;)

[Trudes]

Not by the look of the scores on the kinky test post on here!!

owww, haven't seen that thread yet, but I was 98% evil or something on the evil test, so maybe I should take that one too! lol

[Bikernereid]

Daren't put my score up!! Fun test to do though!! I am not evil, just misunderstood!!


owww, haven't seen that thread yet, but I was 98% evil or something on the evil test, so maybe I should take that one too! lol