The Crappiest Bike Movie EVER ??

[2_SL0]

Well I watched Biker Boys in the weekend, OMG. I think it deserves the title WORST EVER BIKE MOVIE. What is it with Americans and straight line stuff. Do they not have ANY corners in the US. I expected bad acting etc, but I was hoping for some decent bike footage, But what do I get some weird tunnel vision crap from Morpheous (he must of taken the red pill) going in a straight line drag type race. At least Torque had some decent bike scenes (well it had a couple). :angry:

[KATWYN]

Well I watched Biker Boys in the weekend, OMG. I think it deserves the title WORST EVER BIKE MOVIE. What is it with Americans and straight line stuff. Do they not have ANY corners in the US. I expected bad acting etc, but I was hoping for some decent bike footage, But what do I get some weird tunnel vision crap from Morpheous (he must of taken the red pill) going in a straight line drag type race. At least Torque had some decent bike scenes (well it had a couple). :angry:

Hubby and I saw it yesterday as well. Blimmin pathetic -

[jimbo600]

Wait till you see Torque!!! Now that's one crapolah movie.

[Motu]

Easy Rider - that was a very bad movie,it changed my life - I was only 16 and it twisted my impressionable mind into thinking riding a motorcycle was the best thing to do with your life.I was destined for politics,and by now would be leading our country,the highest paid non worker in the land.Peter Honda has a lot to answer for with that crap movie!

[Riff Raff]

I was only 16 and it twisted my impressionable mind into thinking riding a motorcycle was the best thing to do with your life.

You mean it isnt?!!!! :gob:

[aff-man]

actually torque is better than biker boys if you can believe it. In bikerboys they try make riding in a straight line look really difficult at least there is that opening scene in torque which has some smblance to riding. If i won an american lotto (i.e. 300 mill) i think i'd make a bike movie with actual riding no shitty digital enhancements. Might even hire some of you hoons hahaha.


Hmmmm i wonder if we could get a group of people together and make a low budget movie. Could be kinda cool

[Motu]

Next crappy movie was some Steve McQueen thing - saw a motorcycle jump a 12 ft wall,then the guy was riding it at some crazy speed on a dirt road,he was crossed up in the corners,really going for it! Unfortunatly my impressionable mind thought that was really cool,so I spent years learning the art of riding a motorcycle fast and getting sideways on narrow twisty gravel roads - an adiction I haven't been able to throw...get me on the gravel...and I feel Germans at my back and have to ride as fast as I can to get away.Those bike movies can ruin a person for life.

[Motu]

Then there was a Clint Eastwood movie where some Triumph twin raced around New York doing crazy things,riding up and down stairs and generaly doing dangerous stunts in built up areas.....impressionable minds sought to copy the on screen drama....

[Riff Raff]

an adiction I haven't been able to throw....
And this is a bad addiction because...? :shifty:

[avgas]

but every "production" motorbike film i saw has been shit.
Good holigan one was "Judgement Day 2"

[justsomeguy]

The best I've seen and I've only seen very few. Was the opening sequence in Speed 2. That was a long time ago when I was a kid - but it wanted me to go out and buy a motorcycle. But something about just becoming a teenager and not having enough support to rob a bank stopped me.


As far as cage movies are concerned my ALL TIME favourite is "Ronin" with DeNiro and co.

[MOTOXXX]

Wait till you see Torque!!! Now that's one crapolah movie.

i strongly second that. its ok for about 20min but just gets realy stupid

[Madmax]

one good one was
Stone
Z1s cool

[Blakamin]

one good one was
Stone
Z1s cool
Now thats draggin a movie back from the dead!!!
(a mate of mine rode in that movie.... funeral procession)

[DarkNinja]

jeez torque was DUMB AS. theyre hooning along the road getting their knees down at say 180kph+ on the straight bits, and then they start talking to each other thru closed helmets. now you tell me you wouldnt want to concentrate on the road?
i liked ronin aswell, its great

[Paul in NZ]

I didn't even bother going to see them...

They will end up in the same bin as 'Chrome and Hot Leather'

Now! On Any Sunday..... If I win Lotto I'll make a Kiwi version of that.. You can all be in it too (for a VERY reasonable fee)

[Motu]

I prefer the old movies with real bikes doing real stunts and not this computer crap - that's not what real riders want to watch.I've got a DVD of On Any Sunday,fantastic flattrack stuff and a good insight into Steve McQueen,the guy was more than an actor,this guy could really ride a bike - not many Hollywood stars could be in the ISDT on merit.In one of the Evel Knevil films I'm pretty sure George Hamilton was doing a lot riding in the closeups - no helmets in those days and he was doing some impressive stuff for a pretty boy.

[Juan]

A stinker is "I bought a vampire motorcycle" bet you can't guess wot it's about :doh:

"Little Faus and big Halsey" is somewhere in the back of my mind, think it was crap too :bleh:

Best bit of a movie is when Anjolina(can't speel)Jolie rolls up on an MV F4 in Gone in 60 seconds :rockon:

"No Limit" THE biker movie of all time :2thumbsup

[F5 Dave]

Sorry Max, Stone was crap too, but at least it prepared me for future biking movies so I never see them now. Urgh, except I bought a Vampire motorcycle, that must have been KRAP, I have erased all memory of it.

The stunts in Matrix 2 on the 996 & I Robot on the MV were pretty good though.

[bear]

There is a scene in FLED (Stephen Baldwin, Lawrence Fishbourne) where they're going semi-hard through some traffic on a highway on Ducati's. At the time I remember it looking like quite good fun.

[F5 Dave]

Mission Improbable 2 had a varied chase scene on trumpys which was marred by the bikes visibly sprouting knobblies & the whole road to dirt thing. Um not to mention the rolling stoppie rotate & shoot, -sure buddy.

Favourite duff was the First Blood movie (Remember that? Sly Stallone [monosyllabic tone; "he drew first blood sir"]) & he buggered off on someone’s trail bike & it was making all sorts of 2-stroke noises & then changed to 4-stroke half way through yet blue smoke was still billowing out the exhaust.

Almost as naff as tyres squealing on dirt roads.

[edit] or was it happy days when someone was going to jump a 60s roadbike & it turns into a CR halfway.

[bungbung]

[edit] or was it happy days when someone was going to jump a 60s roadbike & it turns into a CR halfway.

The film makers don't think you'll notice (and don't really care if you do). For continuity badness, the A-Team has Chips style Police HD's jumping over cars, changing from a HD to a dirt bike and back from shot to shot, squealing tyres <b>while in the air!</b>

[Motu]

Almost as naff as tyres squealing on dirt roads.


Well they do squeal - gotta be hard pack though.

[F5 Dave]

Name the movie: “Squeal boy, squeal like a pig”

:buggerd: :buggerd: :buggerd:

[bungbung]

Name the movie: “Squeal boy, squeal like a pig”

:buggerd: :buggerd: :buggerd:

That is the same movie where the boy has 'a real purty mouth'?

cue banjoes...

[Motu]

Name the movie: “Squeal boy, squeal like a pig”

:buggerd: :buggerd: :buggerd:

No no no - wrong packing,wrong squealing,wrong movie! Some kid from Wellington with a banjo?

[MOTOXXX]

man i just saw biker boyz on sky movies tonight.
i just lost 1 hour and 50 minutes of my life watching that movie and i want it back.

that movie is worse than Torque

[Sniper]

Torque and biker boys are stupid movies. I almost split my sides laughing on Torque when he pulls out his cellphone and talks onit while riding. Why cant they make a decent movie?

[Sniper]

I didn't even bother going to see them...

They will end up in the same bin as 'Chrome and Hot Leather'

Now! On Any Sunday..... If I win Lotto I'll make a Kiwi version of that.. You can all be in it too (for a VERY reasonable fee)

So you mean, you will pay us??? :first: :)