My Isle of Man TT Crash

[Shaun]

I have just been sent a DVD of my crash at the TT last year, it was filmed by a proffesional buisness, and they have not, and will not release it to any one else for any reason, apparaently out of respect my years of efforts over there.

My thoughts are, OF COURSE I want to see it, I would like to see what nearly KIlled me. I have only had 3 dream recalls of parts of the crash at this stage, I do not and cannot remember it all happening.

It has been suggested to me, that perhaps If I watch it, I may go through all the mental pain of the crash again big time, as well as, it could mentally really mess with me? Even more than the Brain injury I am working through still!

So what do ya think?

[Badcat]

I have just been sent a DVD of my crash at the TT last year, it was filmed by a proffesional buisness, and they have not, and will not release it to any one else for any reason, apparaently out of respect my years of efforts over there.

My thoughts are, OF COURSE I want to see it, I would like to see what nearly KIlled me. I have only had 3 dream recalls of parts of the crash at this stage, I do not and cannot remember it all happening.

It has been suggested to me, that perhaps If I watch it, I may go through all the mental pain of the crash again big time, as well as, it could mentally really mess with me? Even more than the Brain injury I am working through still!

So what do ya think?

Shaun, i'm in no place to give you the "face your fears" speech, as you're an international standard motorcycle racer and i'm not.
if it were me though, i'd want to understand how it happened, and more importantly watch how i reacted to it, especially if i had no recollection.
you seem a top bloke, and i would guess if you are tossing up whether to watch it and have not dismissed watching it straight away - you will watch it.
perhaps watching it with a close friend who really understands you and racing would be an idea? that's what i would do - you'll possibly have a lot to talk about afterwards.
you'll want your family close too - as afterwards you'll want to thanks your lucky stars (or whatever) that you are still on the same earth.
either way - i hope you're getting some solace and support from KB, nice to get something back huh?

go well bud.

ken

[jimbo600]

Yeah I'd have to watch it. It would niggle at me always until I did. Plus you could sell it to one of those wank american "and they walked away" type shows.

I doubt the DVD would re traumatise you though

[NC]

I think you should watch it.

[scott411]

i have been in some pretty serious accidents racing (none as bad as Shaun's, but one was a 7 week stay in hospital), and im with Shaun, i would like to see the video of them,

[Goblin]

If I had a dvd of my crash I wouldn't be raising the question on here, I'd HAVE to watch it.....a few times.

[zadok]

I guess unless I was in your situation it is hard to say either way. My initial thought was surely you would want to see it. Having said that, I tend not to watch m/c crash clips that you see posted here and elsewhere. It's not that I want to bury my head in the sand and pretend they don't happen, but I don't need to see it! (not me anyway). It's a hard call only you can answer.
All the best on your recovery.

[Shaun]

Thanks for the replies

I already know exactually what caused the Crash, so that is no interest to me really.

I am just concerned, that the potentuall shock factor to me, could end up getting pushed back on my buitifull women and daughter, ( Who have dealt with so much already) if I react in a strong negative way to it, which is possible according to the head people!

I just do not want to be stress my girls anymore, But Really want to watch it

[Fatjim]

Don't catch your finger in the player and watch out for any sharp edges on those home made DVD's.

[MSTRS]

You must have seen loads of crash videos over the years, Shaun. If you didn't know this one was of you, what would be the difference between this and the others?

[Goblin]

Thanks for the replies

I already know exactually what caused the Crash, so that is no interest to me really.In that case, can you send me a copy?

[enigma51]

I have just been sent a DVD of my crash at the TT last year, it was filmed by a proffesional buisness, and they have not, and will not release it to any one else for any reason, apparaently out of respect my years of efforts over there.

My thoughts are, OF COURSE I want to see it, I would like to see what nearly KIlled me. I have only had 3 dream recalls of parts of the crash at this stage, I do not and cannot remember it all happening.

It has been suggested to me, that perhaps If I watch it, I may go through all the mental pain of the crash again big time, as well as, it could mentally really mess with me? Even more than the Brain injury I am working through still!

So what do ya think?

They said to Richard Hammon the same thing


It is something you have to decide is it going to effect you or not its realy up to you as to what the outcome is going to be. In saying that i would be suprise if it realy screws you cause from i understand you have already moved on and also thinking about doing the race again.

[smoky]

I am just concerned, that the potentuall shock factor to me, ....if I react in a strong negative way to it, which is possible according to the head people!


Test your mental fortitude when youre ready
I wonder if your ‘head people’ have given you the same advice about going back and racing again at the TT. Who’s not to say you won’t react in the same ‘strong negative way’ once your ripping around the same track – the memories may came back in a flood.

I’d rather find out how I’m going to react now – not then.

[janno]

Shaun, I've spent years in the hospital system, and the two things that I have learnt is that Docs are often wrong, and tend to err on the side of caution anyway.

I suspect Docs saying "it could give you terrible thoughts" aren't taking in to account your natural inclination to be a hell of a lot tougher than the general populace.

So I'd follow your instinct on this one, not anyone's advice.

[Shaun]

Don't catch your finger in the player and watch out for any sharp edges on those home made DVD's.



Haha Lmao:2thumbsup

[trev]

Test your mental fortitude when youre ready
I wonder if your ‘head people’ have given you the same advice about going back and racing again at the TT. Who’s not to say you won’t react in the same ‘strong negative way’ once your ripping around the same track – the memories may came back in a flood.

I’d rather find out how I’m going to react now – not then.

+1

If there are demons to be confronted or lessons to be learnt find out now in an armchair NOT later on the track.

[bugjuice]

I'd be interested in seeing it, but more to see what happened myself too.

Perhaps get someone to watch it before you do, then let them comment/brief you in first, just to say if it's worth you watching it and potentially doing thru all the headfuk again. It depends on how you feel about the whole thing. If yo think you're strong enough, then watch it. If you think you need a bit more time, then leave it for a bit.

end of the day, you know if you're ready or not. If you think you are, and find out the hard way you aren't ready, then there's plenty of people around to lend an ear and help you out..

[Number One]

Watch it with close friends and family - if you don't watch it it will nag at you and if you are prepared for the worst (getting another big fright at how close you came to the end) then maybe you'll be ok cos you'll be prepared...either way I see it as part of the process of closure and dealing with it. Best of luck and hope the recovering is going well for you:yes:

[smoky]

Some of the advice here is almost along the lines of – ‘harden up and watch it’ but you’re right to be cautious;
I take it you have had to work thru some form of post traumatic stress!
From what I understand about it – part of the therapy is to not hide away from it – but to confront it, in a controlled environment.
Exposure therapy thru a process of systematic desensitization is carefully and gradually “exposing” yourself to things that remind you of the trauma. Focusing on memories that upset you but you can still manage, gradually increasing your level of exposure in a safe, controlled environment, the reactions will start to feel less intense and overwhelming.

This video maybe an opportunity to do that – maybe listen to it first, with out the pictures, see how you re-act, give it a day or so and if your wife tells you there’s been no real effect – watch it maybe without the sound, until you’re sure there’s no real adverse effects – then watch the whole thing.

[Winter]

I don't remember my crash - so I'm a little less clued up as to what went wrong.

In my case - I would absolutely watch the dvd. (if there was one).


In your case - I still think it would help with closure, being able to get up and get on.

Look at it, then say 'IF i can survive that, I can survive anything.'

Goodluck mate.

[onearmedbandit]

If I had a video of the crash that took my arm (pretty damn traumatic) I would love to watch it. Not for the gore factor, not for analysis, but just to fill in the blanks I have of the preceding minutes and more importantly what happened during and after the crash. Wish I did have footage.

[Tony.OK]

Look at it, then say 'IF i can survive that, I can survive anything.'

Goodluck mate.

+1

Now you've got the footage there's 2 options,watch or not,if not I think you need to get rid of it so its not nagging you.
I beleive you are the sort of person Shaun that will probably almost take inspiration from it,in that you know why it happened,but the fact you survived to come back and even think about doing it again means you are a fighter.
Shit that sounded a bit Dr Phil didn't it.:doh:
Get all your family around and turn it into a celebration of sheer grit and determination for all of you.:headbang:

[WRT]

My girlfriends father was paralyised by a car crash at Bonneville while attempting a land speed record for his class in the late 80's. That event was captured on film, and while he could remember the accident (from his viewpoint in the driver's seat) he still found it beneficial to watch the film. That footage helped him mentally deal with the crash and the after effects, and apparently he had no regrets at all about watching it.

[sugilite]

My thoughts are, OF COURSE I want to see it.

Just the fact you have a desire to watch it, means your ready to. Sounds like the doubts and concerns are coming from outside of your self.

[onearmedbandit]

Get all your family around and turn it into a celebration of sheer grit and determination for all of you.:headbang:

There is the possibility that his wife and daughter do not want to see it again. I know my wife hates it when I even talk of my last crash at the track, let alone watch the footage.

[dino3310]

At the end of the day it's your call mate only you know if your ready or wanting to watch it.

[Usarka]

But Really want to watch it

Maybe that's a clue. By the sounds of it you've been thinking about it anyway, so its not like you've been repressing the whole incident and then suddenly whamo it's back in your head.

I've gone through the head injury thing, and the hardest part is that you just don't know how you will react, and whether you're reactions are due to your natural personality or the injury.....

my only concern would be if you saw that you made an obvious mistake that caused the crash, will you beat yourself up over it....?

end of the day you are the only one who can make the call. What they are saying is possible, but also possible is that it helps you deal with and accept it.

[MIXONE]

Shaun for what it's worth I say watch it.Not many people get the chance to see what almost killed them.
PS I saw you at Wanganui and have to say you are looking good.

[cowpoos]

I find your gut feeling is almost always right!

[Quasievil]

nah flick it, whats the point you know what happened, why stress out the Whanau, you dont need to see it at all, focus on positives (which is what you been doing) arent you going back this year ? do you want more mental imagery of it going through ya head. Nope its done its history move on.
For me I have zero interest in seeing it, I take no interest in watching people practically die.

[Brett]

My view on it is that you have ALREADY made it through the hard part of your crash. You know you crashed, you know why, you know what it is like to overcome the injuries and to have the frustrations that come along with that. Your family also have been through the worst of it. There is nothing wrong with having a curiosity about what happened and wanting to see what went on. You have already made it back from the edge of life. I would watch it and see it for waht it was, a crash that you lived from when most others would have died. It is in the past.

[codgyoleracer]

Definatly watch it, you can never know to many true facts.

[onearmedbandit]

Looks like at the end of the day Shaun, only you can answer that question. People have given sound reasons for both watching and not watching. Up to you.

[YellowDog]

Welcome back Shaun mate. And well done for hanging in there. The answer to your question is quite simple, but only you have the answer.

You were able to compete in the TT races due to the confidence and faith others had in your abilities as a top rider. For you to do this you must have had strong faith and confidence in yourself. This has now taken a knock. As a professional and a mature adult, you can put this behind you and move forward.

The answer to your question and predicament is: If you can continue with the rest of your life, without the need to know or see what actually happened, then that will be the best choice. The fact that you have survived may be reward in itself.

If however you will be tortured by not knowing and you will be able to accept what you see as fact, then you will have to see it.

There is of course a third choice and that is not to make a decsion until you are fitter and healthier. You can receive the DVD and keep it safe until such time you are certain as to whether you want to see it or not.

You also need to be prepared for the possibility that the DVD may not give you any indication at all as to what went wrong and why your campaign ended as it did. Such an anti-climax would probably be the most hurtful as you will be expecting answers.

Top marks to the DVD guys for refusing to release it to anyone but you.

Good luck with this decision and also with your recovery.

[CHOPPA]

It really comes down to how you think you will take it but if it were me there would be absolutly no question that i would want to see it, i would want to show every one how i could live through such a bad accident. I think it would be good to see it so you can fully understand what happened and your mind could stop trying to recreate it from patchy memorys... The only reason i wouldnt like to watch something like that is if i was still intending on racing still, it would be another senario to try keep out of my head on race day

[MotoGirl]

Seeing the crash may not be the bit that gives you the trauma. I suspect what may scare you more is seeing yourself laying there (somewhat lifeless) while everyone tries to help you. Seeing this could drive it home (again) just how close you came to leaving your girls.

Edit: I wouldn't watch it because you've survived this long without it so why do you need to see it now?

[roadracingoldfart]

There are many good answers here but i cant help but think if the DVD was viewed by yourself in company of a good friend who views it without passing judgment on the cause etc would be a benifit to get the total picture to fill in your gaps. I am sure i would like to know what happened all the way through the accident even if i knew the original cause , it would give me a full understanding which i often need to have .
Possible viewers are the medical staff that nursed you back to health here and overseas, they im sure would be amazed at the progress you have made and the punishment the human body can take and still come back to what you are now post accident.
Im picking that the biggest reason you healed as well and quickly as you did was due to the mental attitude you have and the need to not let family and friends go on without you hassling them and being a slight pain in the ass :dodge: as a man like you can be occasionally.
Cheers mate and keep healing .
Paul.

[Clivoris]

Hi Shaun.
By now you have probably watched the DVD anyway but.. You know what I do for a living and I can tell you that the most important variable here will be how you process the experience of watching the DVD. It may well be distressing and bring up some unpleasant memories, emotions and sensations. If you have the attitude and support that helps you ride this out, it will likely be a healing experience. It might knock you around emotionally for a matter of seconds or days, it is very hard to predict. Your resiliant personality is likely to be very protective. You have bounced back from the accident and it's consequences amazingly well. Trust your judgement with this decision.

[Macktheknife]

I am just concerned, that the potentuall shock factor to me, could end up getting pushed back on my buitifull women and daughter, ( Who have dealt with so much already) if I react in a strong negative way to it, which is possible according to the head people!
I just do not want to be stress my girls anymore, But Really want to watch it

I have only one question,
What's the rush?
You are right to be concerned about the impact both on you and your family if the viewing should bring stuff up for you, more proof of the kind of man you are (not like we needed it)
But you know you are still dealing with the head injury, you know the risks of psychological impact and stress, on both you and your family. You also know that your judgement may not be at its best right now.
So what's the rush? The dvd will still be there when you are confident about being able to manage the situation to your satisfaction, give yourself some time to get stronger and your family time to worry just a little less. It can't hurt to delay the decision a while, and it just might help.
Best of luck

My 0.02c.
Mack

[howdamnhard]

Watch it and get it over and done with.

[BarryG]

Hi, Shaun,
If you do know what happened, all watching the video would do is confirm what you already know, really.
Your head injury is surely a physical cause of the emotional/psychological matters to which you allude, and that being the case, (short of beating your noggin again with the DVD in a heavy box :laugh:) one would think that seeing the crash on film shouldn't affect your (unconscious) brain functions.
Have you been seeing a psychologist/counsellor or anyone like that? If so, maybe they could give you some advice.
At the end of the day, I hope seeing it or nor seeing it isn't that important a part of your eventual full recovery. I love seeing here how that's all going, and sure do appreciate your openness in keeping us up to date.
Cheers and best regards
Barry

[Shaun]

Thanks for all the input! it is only 9-30 am and the mail has not arrived as yet, But when it does, I am watching it, Will get back to ya all later on

[Pex Adams]

I find your gut feeling is almost always right!

The problem with my gut, is that it always tells me its thirsty:beer::beer::beer:

[sAsLEX]

They said to Richard Hammon the same thing



So they played it in slow motion on his first show back and Jeremy pulled the piss out of him!


Thanks for all the input! it is only 9-30 am and the mail has not arrived as yet, But when it does, I am watching it, Will get back to ya all later on

youtube.....?

[steveb64]

I don't remember my crash - so I'm a little less clued up as to what went wrong.

In my case - I would absolutely watch the dvd. (if there was one).


In your case - I still think it would help with closure, being able to get up and get on.

Look at it, then say 'IF i can survive that, I can survive anything.'

Goodluck mate.

:stupid:

I can't remember my biggest one either. In fact, I can't remember the 10-15 minutes leading up to it. Or the ambulance, hospital, or most of the next three weeks!

And SHIT YEAH! - I'd watch the dvd/video if there had been any!

Frankly Shaun, you're a fairly tough nut - I figure you'll look at it, wince as you see bits flying off, think "So that's the bits I remember..." :eek: and go on with life!

Watch the video, give your girls a hug, and enjoy life!

[gixerracer]

Thanks for the replies

I already know exactually what caused the Crash, so that is no interest to me really.

I am just concerned, that the potentuall shock factor to me, could end up getting pushed back on my buitifull women and daughter, ( Who have dealt with so much already) if I react in a strong negative way to it, which is possible according to the head people!

I just do not want to be stress my girls anymore, But Really want to watch it

watch it you poofta:gob: As for stressing out your girls sumbody told me you are going back to race the TT again and you think a video is going to stress them out? Come on gremlin

[homer]

i think if you didnt know how it happened then you would have watched it by now

since you know what happened you simply dont need to

[Shaun]

I have just watched my crash DVD HO Hum

It was a non event, typicall fast crash scene, people carrying me away on a stretcher

Bike in bits all over the track

Front end deffinately tucked under me, causing the crash

Shit happens I guess

And I would still like to race again one day, just for fun now though:bleh:

[Tony.OK]

I have just watched my crash DVD HO Hum

It was a non event, typicall fast crash scene, people carrying me away on a stretcher

Bike in bits all over the track

Front end deffinately tucked under me, causing the crash

Shit happens I guess

And I would still like to race again one day, just for fun now though:bleh:

Good on ya,shows that ya had already closed that part of that event in your own mind:msn-wink:

[Pex Adams]

Time to move on, and get ready for other business... Good on ya for trying to get some clarification on it all.

[Colapop]

Though you already knew what caused the crash, viewing gives you an objective view. Third person viewing... You've confirmed what you already knew and now know absolutely there is no need to question any part of what happened. Closure is a god thing.

[Fatjim]

I

Front end deffinately tucked under me, causing the crash

:bleh:

I find if I tuck my front end into my leathers it doesn't cause me to crash, but I don't ride as fast.

[smoky]

Front end deffinately tucked under me, causing the crash

As long as your front end didn't get nipped before it was tucked in


I would still like to race again one day, just for fun now though

Are you still going to TT this year?

[ManDownUnder]

It has been suggested to me, that perhaps If I watch it, I may go through all the mental pain of the crash again big time, as well as, it could mentally really mess with me? Even more than the Brain injury I am working through still!

So what do ya think?

I think you take things little at a time. Maybe get a trusted other (Stroud?) to view it first and give you a brief synompsis of the contents... give that time to sink in then if all is ok, listen to it - get the soundtrack in your head and see what that does, then view it - again with Straoud or McEwan ... someone whose opinion your highly rate.

Little at a time man. I'd hate for something that is in the past to detroy your future, but if questions can be answered then it's got to be a good thing no?

Good luck man. Total respect ya grumpy little shit.
Nigel

[speedracerjimmy]

I have just watched my crash DVD HO Hum

It was a non event, typicall fast crash scene, people carrying me away on a stretcher

Bike in bits all over the track

Front end deffinately tucked under me, causing the crash

Shit happens I guess

And I would still like to race again one day, just for fun now though:bleh:

I didnt think that watchin the video would effect you to much shaun.your heart is still in racing and i dont think anything will change that.catch ya at manfield:Punk: