Testicular injuries due to bike accidents...

[Winter]

Ok blokes.

Is this a common occurrence? with the way some of those tanks act as a brick wall for your twig and berries, I imagine there will be a few chaps wondering around out there missing a few cents from their coin purse.

Do any of the race suits come with some sort of cricket style protection for the twins?
:thud:

Anyone got some painful stories to share?

[xwhatsit]

Hahaha I don't normally ride those sorts of bikes, but I got a fright on a GSXR600 with that silly style of tank and the monstrous brakes. Even if my bike could power on enough stopper to get me moving, my knees are close together and I'd probably just slide up on top of the tank.

[Big Dog]

Hahaha I don't normally ride those sorts of bikes, but I got a fright on a GSXR600 with that silly style of tank and the monstrous brakes. Even if my bike could power on enough stopper to get me moving, my knees are close together and I'd probably just slide up on top of the tank.

My particular affliction to Honda sports bikes I have ridden.
Those damn nutcracker tanks.
What is a nutcracker tank?
One where every time you touch the brakes one nut drops down either side of the tank. Right in line with where you are bearing down on the tank with your thighs.

Does not happen on Suzuki's, Yamaha's, Ducati's, BMW's, or kawasaki's.

If ever I buy a Honda Sports bike a custom tank will be on there before I end up a woman or at the very least soprano.

[idb]

Mine are always pulled up inside with fear as soon as I get on a bike.

[Magua]

Under extreme braking I'd probably just slide over my tank. _b _b

[onearmedbandit]

Mate of mine t-boned a car on his GSXR11 years ago. Left a massive dent in the tank from his nads. Left a worse scar in my mind when I visited him in hospital and he asked if I wanted to look. Before I could say no he pulled back the sheet to reveal two massive purple 'growths' the size of coconuts. Eewww.

[FruitLooPs]

I remember taking my fairly portly older brother pillion on the RG150, bad plan :blink:

Soft forks, get on the brakes even gently they dive and he slides forward which of course presses you waay too hard into the tank :eek5:


I literally made it around the block before heading home, anymore and I wouldn't have been able to stand :wacko:

[skidMark]

My particular affliction to Honda sports bikes I have ridden.
Those damn nutcracker tanks.
What is a nutcracker tank?
One where every time you touch the brakes one nut drops down either side of the tank. Right in line with where you are bearing down on the tank with your thighs.

Does not happen on Suzuki's, Yamaha's, Ducati's, BMW's, or kawasaki's.

If ever I buy a Honda Sports bike a custom tank will be on there before I end up a woman or at the very least soprano.


yup yup yup!

been nutted too many times....

fecking hurts.

worst ive ever seen was a tank off a totalled r1 at a wreckers.

this big dent with 3 grooves in it (from ze twig and berries), went into the tank...deeeeep....then came up up up...then the dent suddenly stopped.... at the gas cap.

made my nuts ache just looking at it.

[JimO]

the tank on the Benilli 900 (i think) that won best itallian at the Vincent actually sloped back towards the rider so you would be trapped instead of sliding over

[NighthawkNZ]

the tank on the Benilli 900 (i think) that won best itallian at the Vincent actually sloped back towards the rider so you would be trapped instead of sliding over

You mean this... (Taken at Glenorchy 2007 but same bike mes think)

[Dooly]

Mate of mine hit a car years back on his Ducati.
Car pulled out in front of him.

They had to cut his stomach open to get to his eggs, that had ended up in there!

I believe they are fine now, but back then, were not very happy chappies.:lol:

[bungbung]

Check out the dent in this insurance write-off zxr I bought:

[hazard02]

Just stuff some socks down there and you'll be sorted. Most Honda riders do it anyway...

[vifferman]

Whelp, I've owned 7 or 8 Hondas, and never suffered any testicular incidents on any of them.

[Winter]

Whelp, I've owned 7 or 8 Hondas, and never suffered any testicular incidents on any of them.

Twas a suzuki that did the damage for me.

I'm now on a honda, and I think it'll be much worse this time around.

[Ixion]

Such a thread cannot be permitted to pass without mention of the infamous Meridan Triumph nut scrapers (also used by Suzuki at one stage)

[skidMark]

Such a thread cannot be permitted to pass without mention of the infamous Meridan Triumph nut scrapers (also used by Suzuki at one stage)


Care to elaborate Ixion?, most of us are were a scratch in our dads nutsack when these things you talk about happened. :bleh:

SM

[skidMark]

Just stuff some socks down there and you'll be sorted. Most Honda riders do it anyway...


Imagaine that dent gooing so far into the tank straight ahead that it stopped at the gas cap....

that was the r1.

i think that fella probably a soprano now.

and i don't mean italian mafia.

[Magua]

Perhaps cups should be added to the list of armour that bike riders wear. _b

[jcupit69]

This came from hitting a 4x4 that pulled infrount of me at bout 50kmph on a zxr250. thankfully everything was ok, just VERY sore for a week!

[rasty]

Such a thread cannot be permitted to pass without mention of the infamous Meridan Triumph nut scrapers (also used by Suzuki at one stage)


Oh yes, I recall sliding up the tank of my Tiger 100 and leaving the boys under the grid - had to be experienced to truly appreciate it.

[JimO]

This came from hitting a 4x4 that pulled infrount of me at bout 50kmph on a zxr250. thankfully everything was ok, just VERY sore for a week![/QUOTE]

did ya have a stiffi

[Swoop]

Does not happen on Suzuki's, Yamaha's, Ducati's, BMW's, or kawasaki's.
One could say that Honda brakes are superior in performance than these "lesser brands" then?:rofl::blip:

[JimO]

You mean this... (Taken at Glenorchy 2007 but same bike mes think)

thats the bugger, the end of the tank is shaped like a rugby ball

[90s]

Maybe a box wouldn't be a bad idea. I still flinch when I think of an accident a cop showed me in the 80s where a sport-bike rider lost it on the motorway, and was sent 'star-jump' style over a bollard on the verge.
He was untouched.
Except he left his nuts on the bollard.

[madmal64]

Collected the fairing blade on the way over the bars on my RF900 a few years back.
Twas black & blue for a while in that area. Not much fun:angry2:

[Ixion]

Box really isn't a silly idea. given that leggings nowdays come with armour here there and everywhere, y'd think they could put a bit in where it's *REALLY* important.

[twotyred]

Care to elaborate Ixion?, most of us are were a scratch in our dads nutsack when these things you talk about happened. :bleh:

SM

In the late 60's the Triumph t100,T120 etc used to have tank racks that came to be known as "castrators"... apparently they stopped putting them on after many hapless riders lost their "racks" and had to go back to riding Vespas...:doctor:

[fireliv]

When I worked at a pool, I had a guy come in who asked if I would talk to him in private. He told me how he wanted to stsart swimming, but he was in a motorbike accident where his "boys" were damaged so bad that he had to have one of them removed, and the other didnt function properly. He was nearly in tears telling me about it. He wanted to know whether I could tell because he had noticed changes, and wether he thought other people might be able to tell. I told him I couldnt and to where shorts not speedos and it will be sweet. Weird conversation to have but he left happy that a chick couldnt tell he was half a man. Scared me to think that could happen from a bike though....

[Ocean1]

Such a thread cannot be permitted to pass without mention of the infamous Meridan Triumph nut scrapers (also used by Suzuki at one stage)

The mere though makes one's arsehole clench *shudders*

I also have less than fond memories of early DT250/360 fuel caps, with the key-lock aft. Would be difficult to design a more clench-inducing protruberance, what were they thinking?

The thing that used to puzzle me was the number of deeply worrying impressions in the back of dirt bike tanks in general which apparently caused little or no testicular trauma.

[No FX]

Riding on the beach on my dirt bike when i was 14ish i hit a jump that threw me off the seat a wee bit and i landed on the tank using my balls to break the fall!

[McDuck]

Riding on the beach on my dirt bike when i was 14ish i hit a jump that threw me off the seat a wee bit and i landed on the tank using my balls to break the fall!

Did you crash?

[aff-man]

hmmm had one or two slightly painfull moments....

One I can vividly recall is on the cbr600 I had...

So clutched up a nice standup wheelie. As the bike reaches a good decent height I think the back hit a puddle and let go.. I grabbed some clutch but unfortunately the improptu burnout had made the bike drop back down... fast... and the little lunge left me in the air.... So I managed to come back down on the back of the tank... on my nuts... Had to pull over and have a wee sit down after that little mishap...

[breakaway]

God damn. Those pics are really something.

I was unaware that balls could take so much damage before giving out.

[McDuck]

God damn. Those pics are really something.

I was unaware that balls could take so much damage before giving out.

that comment did it for me (cringe)

BTW how thin is the metal of those tanks?

[Winter]

God damn. Those pics are really something.

I was unaware that balls could take so much damage before giving out.

Would you like to see some pics of what happens when they do give out?

I'll post my ultrasounds if anyones interested? :P Even got the exact dimensons of each of my boys!

[Highlander]

I know it is not funny but I'm sitting here with my legs CROSSED, laughing and cringing at the same time. :pinch:

[breakaway]

Would you like to see some pics of what happens when they do give out?

I'll post my ultrasounds if anyones interested? :P Even got the exact dimensons of each of my boys!

Yep why not.

[Mr Triple]

I know it is not funny but I'm sitting here with my legs CROSSED, laughing and cringing at the same time. :pinch:

I know what you mean doin the same:laugh: :crybaby:

[breakaway]

Where are my ball pics, Winter?

[No FX]

Did you crash?


very nearly! managed to stop and jump off and spent the next 10mins curled up in a ball on the beach:pinch:

[n0regret5]

i'll try find the pics of my brother's fxr crash when an islander pulled out into a meridian right in front of him and sent him flying..nearly popped one. no shit.

[jonbuoy]

i'll try find the pics of my brother's fxr crash when an islander pulled out into a meridian right in front of him and sent him flying..nearly popped one. no shit.

Ah FFS no more please! :puke:

[n0regret5]

Ah FFS no more please! :puke:

yeh he did that too, showed me the patch of oil, coolant and vomit in the middle of the road. feckin' awesome.

[Winter]

Where are my ball pics, Winter?

Sorry buddy - started this thread at work - and don't exactly carry em round with me. I'm home now, but don't have digital copies of them, just the ultrasound sheets. I'll have a go photographing them tomorrow against the window. For you.

For those interested, my tank looked like the ones posted, and the damage consisted of splitting leftie open, internal bleeding leading to a large hematoma.
Plus the 9 fractures/breaks/dislocations and a solid dose of concussion :)

[heyjoe]

This thread makes one feel a bit uneasy....

[90s]

This thread makes one feel a bit uneasy....

The you won't like this:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/4407085a1860.html

And there's a thread started on this you probably want to aviod too.

[steveb64]

Worst one I ever saw was in the UK, after 6 weeks touring Europe, then two weeks at the IOM TT (me and the missus were pit crewing for mate), we still had a week to spare, so we all thought "Good time for a quick ride around the country..." All went well until the last day of the ride, when we were under way heading back from Scotland down the A1. We knew we needed to get onto the M1 to get us into the right place on the London ring road (M25?) to get back to where we were staying...

Mate, being a hoon, took off on his TDM850, passing in the LH lanes down the motorway - missus and I decided to be a little more law abiding, and sat in the RH lane harassing some prat in an Alfa who was doing about 150k, until he finally got the message, and moved over to let us through. Speed went up to 180 trying to catch up to mate... Then we noticed what looked like a nose-to-tail accident on one of the off-ramps. Second glance got "hmm - looks like a bike...". Third look, and we spotted the mates helmet (very distinctive paint job) on the ground surrounded by people - "OH SHIT!" - on go brakes, trying to scrub off speed at max possible, without missus rear-ending me on her bike, and veer across three lanes of traffic to verge. Did the sprint back up the motorway in full kit (hadn't even stopped to take helmet off), to find mate curled up in a foetal position in the middle of the road, between two stopped cars... Checked - "Yep - still breathing. He'll be OK" (I know my mate - I've seen him take some HUGE hits on dirt bikes, and get up and keep riding!).
Anyway - Ambo and cops turn up, mate gets loaded up, as they suspect possible back injuries (he had taken a short flight during the crash, and landed on his back), cops happy, as mate had all insurances, licences, etc. all to hand, so cop just had to copy all the details down. We looked at the bike - fucked - so we asked the cop about getting it collected "Yep, no problems, I'll organise it!", then we asked how to get to Doncaster hospital...

So after carting mates gear back to our bikes, loading it on, riding down to the next offramp, back past crash site, winding through Doncaster, finding park... I'm just feeding some coins into a vending machine to get a drink when "Afternoon all!" and mate comes walking (VERY bandylegged) into the waiting area! Asked him what he wanted to do - Catch a train back with his gear, Catch a train back without his gear (we'd just leave it on our bikes), or get doubled back on the back of the missus' RF900 (we'd figured we could probably restow all the gear, and fit him on)? He decided that he could still manage on the bike (his gear was still fine - not even marks on his helmet!) - then turns to Carol and says "Hey, I know you don't like pillioning people, so I can ride if you like!" - well that cracked us up! We then told him we'd already decided that Carol was getting the Duc to ride, and I'd double him on the RF. Well, we had to wait for the cops to come back to us (we'd agreed to meet at the hospital), so we went out and repacked the gear on the bikes - the cop turned up, and was real cool - turned out he used to go to the TT almost every year (spectating) himself, and was laughing about mate surviving racing there, then taking himself (no one elses fault) on the motorway. He decided that as we were about to leave the country, and mate was all insured and legal, that it wasn't worth the hassle of giving him a ticket! "Besides" he added, "He's suffered enough already!" So we finished gearing up, and hit the road again.

A couple of days later, back in London at friends house having a barbecue, and we're discussing the crash. Turned out the mate is colour blind (which we knew, from some interesting scenes in Spain, at red lights...), had spotted the A1 -> M1 off ramp, so had peeled off motorway onto it. Unfortunately for him, it was a two lane off ramp, which had the left lane turning left at top, but right lane had a roundabout - and a queue of traffic waiting. Mate was still doing 120-130k, when he noticed a strange white shape in the air - then he realised it was a car roof. Then realised that something he couldn't see was between it and him (a green NEW Mercedes). He reckoned (and backed up by a truckie - also a biker) thet he tried braking "Nope, wasn't going to work", tried to swerve "Nope, still not gonna work", so sat up, straightened bike, and relaxed. Luckily, the guy in the Mercedes had seen him coming, and taken the handbrake off - and the foot brakes - and braced himself. Mate slammed into the back of the Merc, then used his balls as rollers, to launch up the seat (TDM's have a seat that runs right up to near the fuel cap), and over the bars. He must have still been slightly at an angle, as he flew over the Merc, and landed in the middle of the LH lane - SPLAT on his back. The next bits he didn't really remember that well - but the truckie who'd been behind him reckoned he leaped up, took 3-4 steps towards the stopped traffic in the RH lane, then said something like "I think I've hurt meself", then folded over and collapsed... which was where we found him.

So saying, he then carefully pulled up the leg on his shorts, and showed off the family jewels - the colour of Black plums they were - or blood clot purple! Even the ladies went Oooowwww! At least they hadn't swollen to any huge size - but fuck me they must have hurt!