Riff Raff
18th February 2008, 16:46
Now I wasn't actually there for the shenannigans of the night before, but I have reliable information from several sources. Firstly, it would seem that you should not leave your pit tent unattended overnight at Paeroa when there's a skinny bugger with an industrial roll of shrink wrap sitting in his truck.
And if you want to shrink wrap a Portaloo with Gixser inside, Drew and Patch, it would pay to watch to see if he actually goes into the said portaloo. Luckily the irate, huge, muscly, shaven-haired monster of a man had a weak spot for hairy gingas wearing short shorts. Where did you end up sleeping that night Patch?
Sources tell me that Gixser held one of his famous metrosexual classes behind closed curtains on the truck. As well as trying out a range of beauty products, the boys also got modelling and posing tips from Gixser in preparation for the following day. Rumour has it that even homophobic Drew attended, but he will deny it to the bitter end.
Pimp of the day award goes to White Trash for sitting on the dummy grid with not one, but six Brolly Girls. I knew I shouldn't have let him wear his 'Mr Pimp' boxer shorts! He also wins 'Most Cheesy Grin of the Day' Award and 'Over the Top Wanker of the Day' Award for the same event.
Brolly Dolly of the Day goes to Cherie who many of you have met at various tracks in the company of Mr Poos (why she hangs out with him we really don't know). An ardent admirer of hers who wishes to remain anonymous gave me this description: "We were walking along when suddenly she starts running towards this man, arms wide open, high heels sending up little showers of the Grade 3 asphalt (thanks Superweetard for pointing that out for us), and jiggling bits jiggling in all their glory. If only I had a camera so I could play it back in slow motion like on Baywatch." After some prompting I was able to get the ardent admirer's glazed look off his face so he could continue his story. Anyhoo it turns out she was running over to give Quasi a big hug, much to the delighted surprise of the recipient, who it turns out was not in fact Quasi.
Hero of the Day goes to young Affman for getting me an icecream - you may not think it's much, but to a hot, pregnant woman it's a lifesaver. In recognition of his efforts I won't mention his involvement in the narration of the above story...
After over a year of persuasion Nicko finally got some sexy undies for my inspection. Trouble is they were lovely snug-fitting Steinlager boxers, which meant that WT was all over him like a rash! Sadly for WT, Nicko preferred to have a wee kiss with Neil Martin on the track, and turned a lovely MV into a street fighter!
In a shock upset of the day, no Biker Angels suddenly turned lesbian - not even MadDuck who rides a Harley!!! Amazing. Vixta did grope my boobies, but that was only because she'd been hanging round the BikeStore keg. At least I think that's why....
A great big girly GOOD ONYA goes to Flame for the most crowd-pleasing wheelie of the day. You sure know how to get the male population rising to attention chicky!!!
Watch this space folks, there may be more hot gossip to come....
Photos:
1. Greedy bastard WT takes three awards for this shot - Pimp of the Day, Cheesiest Grin of the Day and Over the Top Wanker of the Day.
2. Affman shows off his new modelling skills
And if you want to shrink wrap a Portaloo with Gixser inside, Drew and Patch, it would pay to watch to see if he actually goes into the said portaloo. Luckily the irate, huge, muscly, shaven-haired monster of a man had a weak spot for hairy gingas wearing short shorts. Where did you end up sleeping that night Patch?
Sources tell me that Gixser held one of his famous metrosexual classes behind closed curtains on the truck. As well as trying out a range of beauty products, the boys also got modelling and posing tips from Gixser in preparation for the following day. Rumour has it that even homophobic Drew attended, but he will deny it to the bitter end.
Pimp of the day award goes to White Trash for sitting on the dummy grid with not one, but six Brolly Girls. I knew I shouldn't have let him wear his 'Mr Pimp' boxer shorts! He also wins 'Most Cheesy Grin of the Day' Award and 'Over the Top Wanker of the Day' Award for the same event.
Brolly Dolly of the Day goes to Cherie who many of you have met at various tracks in the company of Mr Poos (why she hangs out with him we really don't know). An ardent admirer of hers who wishes to remain anonymous gave me this description: "We were walking along when suddenly she starts running towards this man, arms wide open, high heels sending up little showers of the Grade 3 asphalt (thanks Superweetard for pointing that out for us), and jiggling bits jiggling in all their glory. If only I had a camera so I could play it back in slow motion like on Baywatch." After some prompting I was able to get the ardent admirer's glazed look off his face so he could continue his story. Anyhoo it turns out she was running over to give Quasi a big hug, much to the delighted surprise of the recipient, who it turns out was not in fact Quasi.
Hero of the Day goes to young Affman for getting me an icecream - you may not think it's much, but to a hot, pregnant woman it's a lifesaver. In recognition of his efforts I won't mention his involvement in the narration of the above story...
After over a year of persuasion Nicko finally got some sexy undies for my inspection. Trouble is they were lovely snug-fitting Steinlager boxers, which meant that WT was all over him like a rash! Sadly for WT, Nicko preferred to have a wee kiss with Neil Martin on the track, and turned a lovely MV into a street fighter!
In a shock upset of the day, no Biker Angels suddenly turned lesbian - not even MadDuck who rides a Harley!!! Amazing. Vixta did grope my boobies, but that was only because she'd been hanging round the BikeStore keg. At least I think that's why....
A great big girly GOOD ONYA goes to Flame for the most crowd-pleasing wheelie of the day. You sure know how to get the male population rising to attention chicky!!!
Watch this space folks, there may be more hot gossip to come....
Photos:
1. Greedy bastard WT takes three awards for this shot - Pimp of the Day, Cheesiest Grin of the Day and Over the Top Wanker of the Day.
2. Affman shows off his new modelling skills