Definition of LOW!!!

[Fub@r]

Basic background:

Had a son 10 years ago, relationship ended when he was 2 yrs old. When he was born we got a bank account opened in his name where his birthday money went, plus my partner and I paid in a weekly amount each.

Given my partners obsession with money I took a hands off approach, anyway she told me that the account she had setup was locked until he was 18 yrs old. Given that I wasn't concerned about it when I left the relationship as it was "locked"

Anyway recently my son is becoming quite vocal about wanting to live with me and has told his mother also. She has now turned around and said to him if he ever comes to live with me she will clean out his bank account. We are not talking $100 here, we are talking several thousand dollars!!

Checked with the bank today and apparently my ex is the signing authourity on the account and it is not "locked" in as she had said and she can clean it out whenever she wants.

The money aspect isn't the real issue the fact she would blackmail a 10 yr old is disgusting

[James Deuce]

Chicks. What can you say?

[Edbear]

I'd have a quiet word with a lawyer...

[yungatart]

To steal off your own child!
I agree...that is really low!
I don't know what you can do about it...but you could be awfully glad that you aren't still in the relationship.
Jim2...we're not all like that, you know.

[Mom]

Very sad when adults do this sort of thing to kids. Sadly it happens all the time.

I guess you have some decisions to make. If your son comes to live with you, at the very least she will have to pay child support for him. Is she working? If so then it will be 18% of her wages after a living allowance is deducted. It is punative!

A sensible approach to things may be a good thing to promote. She leaves that money alone, you be reasonable about child support. She touches it, and you go all official on her. Trust me, as one who is caught up in this nightmare, the last thing she needs is IRD calling the shots with her income.

Best of luck mate!

[BIHB@0610]

That really is disgusting. I'm constantly amazed at the ability of adults to behave like idiots and harm their own children.

Several thousand dollars you say? I'm not sure of your circumstances, but can you afford to start up another bank account with a similar sum in it? Just thinking it might be nigh impossible to change her (scheming cows are usually pretty entrenched in their thinking) but you might be able to give your son a choice, take the pressure off him totally. If you go to a lawyer you'll probably end up paying close to that depending how far it goes.

At the end of the day, if you don't stoop to her level, or even talk positively to your son about her good points, he will understand who is the better person.

Sending you positive thoughts anyway.:hug::hug::hug:

[janno]

Perhaps now is as good a time as any for your son to learn the true value of money ie NOTHING!!, compared to living with people who love him and care for him and his wellbeing.

Your son no doubt is not stupid, and will see quite clearly that his mother is trying to blackmail him to stay. She has made a terrible, terrible mistake and one day she just might wake up and realise the damage she has done.

Don't let money cloud the issue, you need to work out if him living with you is the best option, and if it is, then start doing the legal stuff required.

Good luck, I can imagine it must be really frustrating dealing with an ex who thinks like that.

[jrandom]

Don't negotiate with terrorists.

Tell the bitch to get fucked, borrow the same amount from the bank, and stick it into an account that's properly set up.

Then throw your son a proper welcome-home party and enjoy the rest of your lives without her.

:niceone:

[NinjaNanna]

Here's my 2c for what its worth, by the way this is general advice and is not meant to single you out - if that makes sense.

Explain to your son that grown ups make mistakes and say things that they don't mean, too, especially when they are scared.

Explain to him that his mother would be very sad to for him to go, and the thought of not having him around scares her. Explain to him that you don't think his mother would really take his money (even if you do) and that it was just a silly thing that she said because she was scared.

Explain to him that you would still love him to come and live with you and that he shouldn't be worried about the money and that money isn't everything, happiness is important too.

Regardless of your relationship with your ex-partner sometimes we just need to be the bigger man and in this case I think that it is vital to defend your Son's ideal of his mother (not for his mother's sake but for his).

[jrandom]

... in this case I think that it is vital to defend your Son's ideal of his mother (not for his mother's sake but for his).

I dunno, eh.

Learning early on that blindly trusting women who claim to care about him is a bad idea will probably serve Fub@r's son very well in later life.

[NinjaNanna]

I dunno, eh.

Learning early on that blindly trusting women who claim to care about him is a bad idea will probably serve Fub@r's son very well in later life.


Unless she truely is Satan's own spawn, do you truely believe a 10yr old doesn't need their mother?

[jrandom]

Unless she truely is Satan's own spawn, do you truely believe a 10yr old doesn't need their mother?

Well, I believe my life, f'rinstance, would have been a lot better if someone had disappeared my mother from it around age 10.

:yes:

[whistlersmother]

Basic background:

The money aspect isn't the real issue the fact she would blackmail a 10 yr old is disgusting

You knocked her up....

[Gubb]

You knocked her up....
And you're a dick.

Be constructive, it's an issue that isn't really all that funny to joke about.

[MSTRS]

Spare us...that is a disgusting thing for her to threaten. If your 'relationship' with her is not good, then maybe she means what she says. In which case, can you get the account balance/history?? And have your son's lawyer made aware of the situation. He will have one that was appointed by the court at the time of custody being decided (assuming you went that way).

[Macktheknife]

Basic background:
The money aspect isn't the real issue the fact she would blackmail a 10 yr old is disgusting

Yep that's low.
there is some good advice above, but it seems to follow a theme. Talk to your son, ignore the ex and her BS until you have to do something significant. Focus on the relationship that will last, not the one that is already a thing of the past.

All the best to you and your son.

[fireball]

this sounds like my childhood.

i hope you make the right choice for you and most importantly your child.
good luck

[Livvy]

I agree with NinjaNanna... But also, I think if that's the way she feels she has to act (i.e., controlling her son with what is basically a threat over something that was agreed to be HIS, not HERS) it may be best for his development to be with you. But then again I don't know you either... But as Jrandom says, money isn't everything. It's great to have it, but getting the best for yourself and your son is more important in this case.

[whistlersmother]

And your a dick.

Be constructive, it's an issue that isn't really all that funny to joke about.

NO

every time i create a new account this guy fubar is bitchin about his ex, what are you guys his mum?

get over her you fool.

[Gubb]

NO

every time i create a new account this guy fubar is bitchin about his ex, what are you guys his mum?

get over her you fool.
Wow, after that sensational retort, I can only conclude that you seem to be an upstanding and contributing member of Society after all.

Welcome to Ignore cock-snort.

[Rotor]

is that y see's your X
Kides first

[Livvy]

NO

every time i create a new account this guy fubar is bitchin about his ex, what are you guys his mum?

get over her you fool.

Why do you have to keep creating accounts? Offend too many?

And so what, he's not actually bitching as such, he's asking for advice for the well being of his son... Which is pretty friggin' important and a worthy topic. Wouldn't you care if it was your son and your ex?

Ever heard of "empathy"?

[Paul in NZ]

Well - it was the most effective weapon she had and it scored a hit.

Maybe she is taking this kinda 'personal' and you need to revise your game plan before you take too many more hits?

[MyGSXF]

Some good advice has been said! :niceone: Definitely as crashe said.. stop your payments into account in question, ASAP!!!! :yes:

People who punish/deprive kids like that (whether the kid even knows about it, or not!!) to get back at their ex's are the lowest of the low! :2guns::thud:

[whistlersmother]

Why do you have to keep creating accounts? Offend too many?

And so what, he's not actually bitching as such, he's asking for advice for the well being of his son... Which is pretty friggin' important and a worthy topic. Wouldn't you care if it was your son and your ex?

Ever heard of "empathy"?

I HAVE A GREAT EMPATHY FOR LOSERS THAT HAVE NO FRIENDS AN RETORT TO ASKING PEOPLE FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO DEAL WITH THERE EX ON THE NET (POOR KID)

I ALSO HAVE A GREAT EMPATHY FOR THOSE THAT RESPOND LIKE THEY REALLY DO CARE

I DONT HAVE KIDS FOR THIS REASON....

[Mikkel]

Don't negotiate with terrorists.

Tell the bitch to get fucked, borrow the same amount from the bank, and stick it into an account that's properly set up.

Then throw your son a proper welcome-home party and enjoy the rest of your lives without her.

:niceone:

+1

Don't let your kid grow up thinking that money is worth compromising your desires for!


The money aspect isn't the real issue the fact she would blackmail a 10 yr old is disgusting

Well, technically it isn't blackmail - it would be theft if anything. (e.g. I'll take your money if you do X - versus - give me your money or I do X).
Doesn't make it any better though.

[Livvy]

I HAVE A GREAT EMPATHY FOR LOSERS THAT HAVE NO FRIENDS AN RETORT TO ASKING PEOPLE FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO DEAL WITH THERE EX ON THE NET (POOR KID)

I ALSO HAVE A GREAT EMPATHY FOR THOSE THAT RESPOND LIKE THEY REALLY DO CARE

I DONT HAVE KIDS FOR THIS REASON....

Pssst. Your capslock is on. :yes:

And come on... we're all friends here! Well, possibly excluding you.

Oh, and please don't reproduce. :motu:

[Fub@r]

NO

every time i create a new account this guy fubar is bitchin about his ex, what are you guys his mum?

get over her you fool.

You should get some medication for mutli personality disorder there, at least you will have company under that rock you just crawled out from.




I DONT HAVE KIDS FOR THIS REASON....

Finally you had something positive to say

[civil]

A couple of grand to learn the truth of what she is like would be worth the cost

[The Pastor]

I DONT HAVE KIDS FOR THIS REASON....
i thought it was because your a short fat balding wanker? ;)

fub@r, moneys money don't let it be the deciding factor. if she takes it can u go to the disputes tribunal? (50$ vs lawyers fees)

[Fub@r]

The money isn't the issue, I only paid in to the account for a few years. Its the blackmail of your own child that gets me.

[The Pastor]

get the kid out of there then?

[Skyryder]

I'd have a quiet word with a lawyer...

I think you can place a Caveat on the account. Baisicly means she can not withdraw.

I'd spot a good lawyer and do this quetly.

Skyryder

[Livvy]

I think you can place a Caveat on the account. Baisicly means she can not withdraw.

I'd spot a good lawyer and do this quetly.

Skyryder
+1

Yeah money isn't the most important thing, but when it can go to getting education for your son or something like that, it's probably worth fighting for...

[McJim]

I DONT HAVE KIDS FOR THIS REASON....

And there was us thinking it was coz you're a super mega fugly that couldn't get laid in a brothel:slap:thanks for clearing that up :rofl:

[Fatjim]

I HAVE A GREAT EMPATHY FOR LOSERS THAT HAVE NO FRIENDS AN RETORT TO ASKING PEOPLE FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO DEAL WITH THERE EX ON THE NET (POOR KID)


Resort Mikey, Resort.

[James Deuce]

And there was us thinking it was coz you're a super mega fugly that couldn't get laid in a brothel:slap:thanks for clearing that up :rofl:
He's actually lost a bit of weight and the buzz cut makes hime look well hard.

[Fatjim]

Yeah, all the mums adore him.

[BiK3RChiK]

Chicks. What can you say?

That SOME of them can be very mean and spiteful! But not all of us... That sucks man, and may it come back to bite her on the bum!!!!

[homer]

Chicks. What can you say?

Your so bang on there
dont give an inch or they take a mile

[Grub]

The money aspect isn't the real issue the fact she would blackmail a 10 yr old is disgusting

Prepare an Affidavit to the Family Court outlining the story and ask them to lock the account and have it administered by the Registrar.

They always "have the best interests of the children at heart" (apparently). When you file the papers with the Court make it an Ex-Parte application which will have it heard without her knowing about it. That means that the court can order the bank to lock the account before she has time to clean it out

[Grub]

Unless she truely is Satan's own spawn, do you truely believe a 10yr old doesn't need their mother?

Why not???? Hundreds of thousands of women decide every year that their children don't need a father. Most of the time, the courts agree with them!

[Storm]

Ah, theres the rub- thats a dad. And we all know in Helengrad than men are SO much less important than women.

[BIHB@0610]

Chicks. What can you say?


Your so bang on there
dont give an inch or they take a mile


Ah, theres the rub- thats a dad. And we all know in Helengrad than men are SO much less important than women.

Well guys, I'm sorry but if that's what you believe, that's what you'll keep encountering. It's incredibly negative - and unfortunately like attracts like.

I'd like to think that the supportive comments some of us have posted here demonstrate that we're not evil just because we don't have a penis. Take people as they come. :hug:

Sending all you guys who are a bit jaded a bit of chicky-babe-love!!!:grouphug:

[homer]

I especially like the part where you can turn around and say "your kids you sort it out "

after all if the woman takes you to court there always the womans kids then arnt they

[fireliv]

Thats really hard on your son and completely unfair to put him in that situation.

But its only money and as much as she tries that doesnt buy love and respect.

[Dafe]

Don't deny your son the opportunity to live with you, if that is what you both want.

Let his mother take his money and squander it.

If she can actually do it, she will have to find a way to live with that and she may never find a way to forgive herself or remove that from her conscience.

You on the other hand will have lived a life with your son.

Forget the money, forget the lawyers....... Live happily.

[Grub]

Well guys, I'm sorry but if that's what you believe, that's what you'll keep encountering. :

Ah no, that's what we keep encountering which starts and grows the belief.

[scumdog]

AN RETORT

I DONT HAVE KIDS FOR THIS REASON....

AN retort? sheesh!

'a' retort is correct, remember - 'an' only before words starting with a vowel, oh, and why is an item from a chemistry lab being mentioned here? eh? eh?.

And regarding your last comment - what reason do you have kids for then??

[flyingcrocodile46]

And regarding your last comment - what reason do you have kids for then??

Some would appear to think you have them to help create a bit of added incest in life

[Bikernereid]

Does a child really need a mother that is prepared blackmail her son to get back at the father?

At the end of the day if the child wants to live with his father then the mother should actively encourage this bonding.

The little boy will need money when he is older but at the end of the day time spent with his father is far more valuable!!!

Momey can't but love!


Well, I believe my life, f'rinstance, would have been a lot better if someone had disappeared my mother from it around age 10.

:yes:

[BIHB@0610]

Ah no, that's what we keep encountering which starts and grows the belief.

Well I guess you could just turn gay?

Seriously, we're NOT all bad. Anyway I believe a good indicator of "decentness" is how their separation went - if they don't have a good word to say about the ex, I'd steer clear. Goes for men and women.

And instead of repeating/reliving your bad experiences by holding on to the opinions you've formed, do as I've been told when riding - LOOK WHERE YOU WANT TO GO.

Hugs