Should I be pissed off?

[mudthug]

I am new to this site so not quite sure if I am posting in the right section, but I think it is a female issue. My husband and I jointly bought a Fatboy and as I work away alot he goes on runs by himself with his mates. I have no issues with this. However today he came home and told me his friends who I have met a few times had asked if their friend a female whom I don't know from a bar of soap could jump on the back of our bike and go on this run with them. He of course said no, but the reply was "my wife wouldn't like it" . Not of course he wouldn't like it. He says I'm being stupid I on the other hand are pretty pissed that his friends, so called my friends even asked him that. My thoughts are I didn't help my husband get his $40.000 dream bike so that some other person could get on it and enjoy my ride. Your views please.:angry::nono:

[bucket boy]

I am new to this site so not quite sure if I am posting in the right section, but I think it is a female issue. My husband and I jointly bought a Fatboy and as I work away alot he goes on runs by himself with his mates. I have no issues with this. However today he came home and told me his friends who I have met a few times had asked if their friend a female whom I don't know from a bar of soap could jump on the back of our bike and go on this run with them. He of course said no, but the reply was "my wife wouldn't like it" . Not of course he wouldn't like it. He says I'm being stupid I on the other hand are pretty pissed that his friends, so called my friends even asked him that. My thoughts are I didn't help my husband get his $40.000 dream bike so that some other person could get on it and enjoy my ride. Your views please.:angry::nono:

yeah i think my wife would be the same
but of course i wouldnt mind

[JimO]

I am new to this site so not quite sure if I am posting in the right section, but I think it is a female issue. My husband and I jointly bought a Fatboy and as I work away alot he goes on runs by himself with his mates. I have no issues with this. However today he came home and told me his friends who I have met a few times had asked if their friend a female whom I don't know from a bar of soap could jump on the back of our bike and go on this run with them. He of course said no, but the reply was "my wife wouldn't like it" . Not of course he wouldn't like it. He says I'm being stupid I on the other hand are pretty pissed that his friends, so called my friends even asked him that. My thoughts are I didn't help my husband get his $40.000 dream bike so that some other person could get on it and enjoy my ride. Your views please.:angry::nono:

how about you grow up

[riffer]

Hang on - he said you wouldn't like it.

You obviously wouldn't like it.

Where's the problem?

He's only telling the truth.

[Badcat]

I am new to this site so not quite sure if I am posting in the right section, but I think it is a female issue. My husband and I jointly bought a Fatboy and as I work away alot he goes on runs by himself with his mates. I have no issues with this. However today he came home and told me his friends who I have met a few times had asked if their friend a female whom I don't know from a bar of soap could jump on the back of our bike and go on this run with them. He of course said no, but the reply was "my wife wouldn't like it" . Not of course he wouldn't like it. He says I'm being stupid I on the other hand are pretty pissed that his friends, so called my friends even asked him that. My thoughts are I didn't help my husband get his $40.000 dream bike so that some other person could get on it and enjoy my ride. Your views please.:angry::nono:

yep - a bike (especially if it belongs to BOTH of you), is a very personal thing.
dig your heels in girl, madass (my gf) wouldn't be happy either if i was taking strangers out for long rides on the buell.
it is your ride, and he should understand and respect that.
just my .02c.
ken

[dino3310]

that seats reserved for you tell the bitch to go find her own ride

[Rashika]

hmmm, well if it was my partner and he didn't mind I'd say it was up to him. He does own half so does have some say in it really. But then again I have my own bike, so situation doesn't apply.

Maybe it might just be a good way to meet some other pillions for you as well. I'm pretty sure they'd be appreciative when they meet you. There are all sorts of reasons why someone might want a lift... broken down bike, etc... they may NOT be trying to crack onto you man, simply wanting to go on the ride.

[Racey Rider]

I think he did the right thing.

Any guy is normally happy to take any girl on the back of 'the bike he is currently riding'.
In fact the only reason he'd say no is that 'His wife wouldn't like it'.
or maybe if she didn't have the right gear...
or if he only rode a KR150, (but even then there the 'Lets start at the top of that hill' response.)

[Trudes]

Sounds like your man did the right thing, so good on him, as for your and his mates, they probably didn't even think about it, so don't be too angry with them.
Personally, I don't have a problem with my hubby pillioning other women, as long as I'm asked first, hell, he even pillioned an ex boyfriend of mine. What a man!! (My hubby, not the ex!)
I guess it all depends on how you view the pillion thing, I view it as a ride on the back of someone's bike, but if you view it as a sexual thing or a bonding thing, then I guess I can see why you'd have a problem.

[BIHB@0610]

You can't change people, or what they think. Despite the fact that you think your man shouldn't like the thought of taking someone else on your bike, he might be fine with it.

However, despite possibly being fine with it, he said no, and gave an excuse - one that happens to be true, as you wouldn't like it.

I don't really see a big deal here at all - he did what was right (even if it wasn't in the way you would like). Go buy some lacey lingerie and bubble bath, make yourself feel all gorgeous and sexy, and take your man to bed. It'll get things back on track :love::love::love:

[maxworldbiker]

Depends on your relationship. First response? Yeah, that would be, pretty much, F**K off. But answers to a few questions might alter the picture, becozzz... maybe this isn't about you, OR your husband. Who is this girly? If she doesn't ride her own machine or have a boyfriend with one, why does she want to go on the bike run? Could it be she's testing the water on getting into the bike scene in a bigger way? Can anyone else give her a baccy? If nobody else has space, or if some of the other guys are on a relationship choke-chain themselves, it could be something as simple as your hubby being the only available person who may be able to help out someone who has personal motives of her own that are maybe NOT sinister, and the friends are all trying to find a solution.

Personally, I have to say that its bloody hard for women sometimes, in this game. A number of years ago I moved to a new town, and tried to join a local motorcycle club there. Allegedly a "friendly" club! At the time I was single, and had my own bike. New in town, I went along to club meetings several times and guess what??? Hardly anybody would talk to me. The only ones who did were single guys who mostly tried to hit on me. Couples froze me completely. The women wouldn't talk to me, for reasons that are sad and pathetic and not too difficult to work out. The men wouldn't talk to me because they got shit from their wives and girlfriends if they did.

I persevered for a few months with that stupid club, and each time went home feeling more lonely than I did when I got there. In the end I stopped going, because I was sick of feeling like I had to prove I wasn't out to steal someone's bloke. Other women have told me they've had the same kind of experiences and they all said the same thing - it was horrible, hurtful, and completely unfair. All we wanted was to be accepted for who we were, into a group of people whose way of life appealed to us through common interests.

The fact is that I have friends, women, getting into biking, and pretty much the first thing I do is get them on the back with my husband, and even if I don't go along, he'll take them out on a run if they want to go. I'm happy for him to do it because he's a safe rider, he's a kind man, and all of the things I love about him are the things I also trust about him, to take care of my friends, and himself, and me too. If it was a girl I didn't know, I'd just want to know a couple of things about her before he rode away with her. Of course, if I later found out she'd made some kind of play for him, I'd just rock around and knock her head clear off her shoulders. But that wouldn't be my first asssumption if the request just to go for a back-ride came up!

It was a long time before anyone gave me a break and even then I had to fight for it. Maybe this girl has innocent motives, and maybe the friends are actually just trying to be friends to her. If that's the case, maybe you can feel less insecure about it.

[jrandom]

Sounds like your man did the right thing, so good on him...

Yeah, wot she said.

If a man's not single, then his pillion seat should be for the missus, mates who need a lift, and any other women specifically authorised in advance by the missus.

It's just the way it is.

Good on the man in question for not being a dodgy bugger, and frankly, mudthug, you should be proud that you're his reason for refusing to let her on the bike. He's obviously a Good Cunt (tm).

:niceone:

[Jantar]

Must be a male/female thing. I don't understand what you are upset about.

Are you complaining that he didn't take the other woman as pillion, but rather made an excuse? What would have been your reaction if he said yes?

or:

Are you complaining about the reason he gave. ie "my wife wouldn't like it". If that statement is true, then I don't see that you have any reason to complain. If the statement isn't true, then obviously the previous reason is the one that makes you upset and he should have taken the other woman as pillion.

It appears to me that you have an honest husband and one that you can trust. You obviously would rather have a dishonest one. You may just get your wish.

[Finn]

Cool. Is it a custom Fatboy? Post some pics when you can.

[yungatart]

I'm quite happy for my man to take another lady as pillion...sheesh, it is just a ride, after all.
I don't see what you're upset about. You don't want him to pillion someone else and he didn't....no wonder some guys think they can never get it right.

[dino3310]

Yeah, wot she said.

If a man's not single, then his pillion seat should be for the missus, mates who need a lift, and any other women specifically authorised in advance by the missus.

It's just the way it is.

Good on the man in question for not being a dodgy bugger, and frankly, mudthug, you should be proud that you're his reason for refusing to let her on the bike. He's obviously a Good Cunt (tm).

:niceone:

totally agree

[CookMySock]

you are in a pickle there aren't you.

It seems if you knew her then maybe it would be different.

Are you just annoyed that someone else is in your chair, or are you concerned something is up ? If its just the chair thing, then you have a decision to make about your type of work. If you think something might be up, then it's time for a long talk with him - and decide if you mind or not - a hard thing to get past when its not your turn.

DB

[SixPackBack]

I am new to this site so not quite sure if I am posting in the right section, but I think it is a female issue. My husband and I jointly bought a Fatboy and as I work away alot he goes on runs by himself with his mates. I have no issues with this. However today he came home and told me his friends who I have met a few times had asked if their friend a female whom I don't know from a bar of soap could jump on the back of our bike and go on this run with them. He of course said no, but the reply was "my wife wouldn't like it" . Not of course he wouldn't like it. He says I'm being stupid I on the other hand are pretty pissed that his friends, so called my friends even asked him that. My thoughts are I didn't help my husband get his $40.000 dream bike so that some other person could get on it and enjoy my ride. Your views please.:angry::nono:

So if your not there no one else can get on the back?....do you trust him? If you did surely anyone could catch a ride in your abscence. I can see where your coming from but wonder if you have trust issues? after all he told you what was happening.
IF the marriage was rock solid this would be no problem.

[CookMySock]

I'm quite happy for my man to take another lady as pillion...sheesh, it is just a ride, after all.sometimes its not - and that needs to got out in the clear.


...no wonder some guys think they can never get it right.thank you, and very nicely put. Us poor blokes spend a lot of time decoding. :blink::wacko::confused:

DB

[FROSTY]

He did the right thing by you and he told the truth. Problem??
I gotta say lady Unless theres an underlying issue not being discussed here then theres shit loads more imoprtant stuff to sweat over than this.

[MSTRS]

Your views please.

My views?
I'm glad that I'm not married to you.

[cruza]

Geez you sound like a real moaning b*t*h, He said no out of respect for you..... get over it. Its a open thing , sometimes people would like to come for a pillion ride and try something new, if theres someone in the group on a sunday ride riding solo, and they trust them (riding wise) why not ask if they mind taking a pillion.

[El Dopa]

Seems to me that the reason you're pissed off is because your bloke did the right thing for what you (because you're female) percieve to be the 'wrong' reason.

And he then told you about it in all innocence (because he's male and didn't realise it would get him in trouble, because he doesn't think like a woman), and then found himself on the wrong end of some heavy incoming.

What you really wanted him to say was 'my mates wanted her to go on the back, but that seat is reserved for you, the same as my heart, body and soul is. I only have eyes for you, my darling. You are the one true love of my life'. Am I right, or am I right?

Fact: blokes look at other women. They want to fuck them, and they choose not to if they're in a committed relationship. But it doesn't stop them looking and wanting.

That's the way of the world. Get over it.

[Livvy]

Okay... Seems like the majority of replies here have taken a bite out of you. This probably isn't a comfort to you, but do heed what they say. It does seem your husband said no and said it in respect for you though he could have worded it better. He might not have been comfortable with taking another woman pillion either, as you seem to have thought by "not, of course, he wouldn't like it" (though I gotta say, please, next time, insert punctuation, it helps us understand what you're saying...) but that may also just because of respect to you.

His friends and your friends probably weren't even trying to make a jab at you like you seem to be implying - "I on the other hand are pretty pissed that his friends, so called my friends even asked him that." - to most of them, a bike is just a bike. I go pillion on my friend's bikes often, and a lot of them are in relationships. Taking a person pillion, whether or not their "other half" knows them from a bar of soap or not should not be an issue if the relationship is truly a healthy one.

As El Dopa says though - blokes look at other women. Not an attack on you or your husband, but I agree; your husband has the potential to look at other women. This isn't a bad thing, it's a natural thing. Make it a funny thing - I do with my friends, though yes, friendship and marriage are completely different things. But I'll sit out with my guy friends in town and we'll vote on girls and which ones are good looking and which ones less so (though discreetly!) and we'll have a good time, and most of these guys are in relationships themselves. Looking and wanting is natural. Girl-spot with him, be comfortable with who you are to him. He's commited to you! And if you girl-spot with him, then you also get to guy-spot and he can't complain. ;)

[CookMySock]

Fact: blokes look at other women. They want to fuck them, and they choose not to if they're in a committed relationship. But it doesn't stop them looking and wanting.

That's the way of the world. Get over it.Chix do too. Be honest. Accept it. Get past it. Enjoy life. Have fun.

DB

[DMNTD]

I can't stand insecure people...waste of time,effort and emotion.

[CookMySock]

[....]then you also get to guy-spot and he can't complain. ;)yeah this is fun.. "o.O soooo you like him ay oooooooo" lol

DB

[BiK3RChiK]

Jealousy is a bitter pill... Get over it! Get on with life! So what? She asked (or friends did) He said No! So What? Sounds like you got issues... Learn to relax, girl! You'll give yourself stress, cancer or a heart attack or worse.

[Taz]

I don't see the problem. Not like he's gonna fuck her is it? Why don't you trust him?

[mudthug]

Thankyou for your replies. I am not pissed off at my husband at all. As he doesn't want to take a pillion either, just annoyed by our friends.





I can't stand insecure people...waste of time,effort and emotion.

HAHAHAHAHAHA if I was insecure he wouldn't even have the bike and I wouldn't go away to work for 12 weeks at a time so he could ride it with all his mates on runs. Its not a question of trust I just don't want someone else sitting on the back of my bike having fun. So you can definitely call me selfish but insecure is just a joke.

[maxworldbiker]

I just don't want someone else sitting on the back of my bike having fun. So you can definitely call me selfish...

Well, ummm... you certainly don't need anyone out here to confirm what you already know, do you? LOL!

[PrincessBandit]

If your question is regarding your response to assumptions made by other people about your property (bike) i.e. that anyone has the right to get on it/be taken on it blah blah blah, then I think you are entitled to be. The big difference is that you and your husband seem to be on the same wavelength in terms of who is permitted to be on the back so who really cares what the "mates" reaction is. They can get over it, and if they really are mates they won't have an issue with you two about it.

[McDuck]

Ok. I will say this poster 1.

He is in to you. I can tell by the fact that he told you. There was no real need, he said no, if he had said nothing you probably would have never found out. I dont know you, i dont know him. but one thing for sure is that if there was any chance of wondering then he would not have told you.



Given i would want to know a little about any other women getting on the back if i was you. but in the same way hubbies word should be enough. Think it through and TALK WITH HIM about it. NOT HERE!!!. He trusted you enough to tell you this, trust him enough to tell him about your feelings.

[HRT]

Any chance a woman get to blame something on the other half... :laugh:

Can see how you'd be annoyed, though in saying that you're being annoyed at the wrong thing. If he took her along for a ride then yeah you'd probably be annoyed at that kinda of thing. If its just due to him saying "the mrs wouldn't approve" or whatever then get over it. He said the truth and said no to the ride because you wouldn't have liked it. You should be happy he said no and go and get him a beer

[Owl]

I am new to this site so not quite sure if I am posting in the right section, but I think it is a female issue. My husband and I jointly bought a Fatboy and as I work away alot he goes on runs by himself with his mates. I have no issues with this. However today he came home and told me his friends who I have met a few times had asked if their friend a female whom I don't know from a bar of soap could jump on the back of our bike and go on this run with them. He of course said no, but the reply was "my wife wouldn't like it" . Not of course he wouldn't like it. He says I'm being stupid I on the other hand are pretty pissed that his friends, so called my friends even asked him that. My thoughts are I didn't help my husband get his $40.000 dream bike so that some other person could get on it and enjoy my ride. Your views please.:angry::nono:

You're 110% correct. It's a female issue!:jerry:

[Sofa]

Must be a male/female thing. I don't understand what you are upset about.

Are you complaining that he didn't take the other woman as pillion, but rather made an excuse? What would have been your reaction if he said yes?

or:

Are you complaining about the reason he gave. ie "my wife wouldn't like it". If that statement is true, then I don't see that you have any reason to complain. If the statement isn't true, then obviously the previous reason is the one that makes you upset and he should have taken the other woman as pillion.

It appears to me that you have an honest husband and one that you can trust. You obviously would rather have a dishonest one. You may just get your wish.

I think what she was saying is that even if it is true that she didn't want this lady that she doesn't know at all on the back of his bike, that he shouldn't have made that excuse. He knows that she wouldn't like it so there's no point in him making the excuse is there? I think maybe she's saying that he should have had more common sense and not mentioned that she wouldn't like it because it makes her look like a naggy, clinging bitch??? Which she obviously isn't :)

[enigma51]

He's only telling the truth.


You clearly dont understand the complexity of the women form

[enigma51]

I think what she was saying is that even if it is true that she didn't want this lady that she doesn't know at all on the back of his bike, that he shouldn't have made that excuse. He knows that she wouldn't like it so there's no point in him making the excuse is there? I think maybe she's saying that he should have had more common sense and not mentioned that she wouldn't like it because it makes her look like a naggy, clinging bitch??? Which she obviously isn't :)

I rest my case

If the role was in reverse no straigh bloke i know would have read so deep into a simple my husband will not like it

[crazybigal]

how about you go on the ride!! or let someone else enjoy your seat!

[Patrick]

If it was a bloke taking your seat, would this even be an issue??????????

It's a nice bike, people want to have a ride on it but I guess that will only happen as pillion....

When you have time off, can you take blokes out on it??????? I am free most weekends....:buggerd:

[NOMIS]

Ok He said you wouldnt like it , obviously you dont like it, wheres the prob? is he meant to be rude and say sorry i dont like it? im sure she would of been hurt if he said that but he dismisd the situation the best way possible, and yeh it is your bike so you should just get over what ever it is yuor angry about and enjoy it.

[HenryDorsetCase]

Chix do too. Be honest. Accept it. Get past it. Enjoy life. Have fun.

DB


Just because your plate is full, doesn't mean you can't look at the menu.


Just saying.



I have no opinion about the topic of this thread.

[MSTRS]

I think what she was saying is that even if it is true that she didn't want this lady that she doesn't know at all on the back of his bike, that he shouldn't have made that excuse. He knows that she wouldn't like it so there's no point in him making the excuse is there? I think maybe she's saying that he should have had more common sense and not mentioned that she wouldn't like it because it makes her look like a naggy, clinging bitch??? Which she obviously isn't :)

Actually, I read it to mean she paid for some of the bike, and if her arse isn't on the pillion seat then no-one else's is going to be on it either. That, and the biker friends should have known that and not asked...
The husband obviously (gratefully?) respects that, because she could have instructed 'If my arse isn't on the pillion, then the bike stays home".
:oi-grr:

[riffer]

Actually, I read it to mean she paid for some of the bike, and if her arse isn't on the pillion seat then no-one else's is going to be on it either. That, and the biker friends should have known that and not asked...
The husband obviously (gratefully?) respects that, because she could have instructed 'If my arse isn't on the pillion, then the bike stays home".

WTF MSTRS?

Would the same apply if I was out in the car and a mate asked if I could give a ride to someone female?

I've run this past my wife who says if more people called a spade a fuckin spade there'd be less trouble in this world. She says she wouldn't be happy with a woman she didn't know being on the back but she doesn't care if I tell anyone. She takes it as a compliment that I respect her enough to let people know how she feels. Likewise she has no problem with me telling any girl who tried it on with me that she'd kill them because its probably true.

I can't see the problem. If the OP thinks people consider her a whiny bitch that's something she made up (actually I don't recall her saying that at all).

Is she upset that a woman wanted to go on it, or because ANYONE wanted to go on it?

I'd like to hear the OP clarify this issue.

[MSTRS]

I'd like to hear the OP clarify this issue.

She did. In a later post she said something to the effect that she paid for some of the bike and wasn't happy for anyone else to benefit from a pillion ride. She also said that her hubby wasn't keen to take other people pillion. Their friends know this, but still asked him to take a (newcomer?). It is apparently this that has upset her.
In typical new poster fashion, she didn't word her post too well and people have gone off half-cocked, calling her all sorts of names. I said I was glad I wasn't married to her. If my better half controlled what I did when it comes to biking to that extent....well, dress me in a skirt and call me Mrs.

[riffer]

That makes more sense now mate. Cheers for that.

Gini says she hopes I take her jealousy as a compliment, rather than any attempt to control me - cause that wouldn't be her intent.

I still don't have a problem telling anyone my wife wouldn't be happy about something if it was the truth. :)

[MSTRS]

That makes more sense now mate. Cheers for that.

Gini says she hopes I take her jealousy as a compliment, rather than any attempt to control me - cause that wouldn't be her intent.

I still don't have a problem telling anyone my wife wouldn't be happy about something if it was the truth. :)

Not everyone is happy or comfortable with that sort of situation in a relationship. To me, it comes down to trust and not doing anything that betrays that trust. A two-way street. But if I am not trusted to do the right thing, then there must be a deeper issue that needs dealing with before it festers and destroys me, or us. The OP may not have that sort of situation, it just came across that way to a certain extent.

[mstriumph]

.....................Personally, I have to say that its bloody hard for women sometimes, in this game. A number of years ago I moved to a new town, and tried to join a local motorcycle club there. Allegedly a "friendly" club! At the time I was single, and had my own bike. New in town, I went along to club meetings several times and guess what??? Hardly anybody would talk to me. The only ones who did were single guys who mostly tried to hit on me. Couples froze me completely. The women wouldn't talk to me, for reasons that are sad and pathetic and not too difficult to work out. The men wouldn't talk to me because they got shit from their wives and girlfriends if they did.

I persevered for a few months with that stupid club, and each time went home feeling more lonely than I did when I got there. In the end I stopped going, because I was sick of feeling like I had to prove I wasn't out to steal someone's bloke. Other women have told me they've had the same kind of experiences and they all said the same thing - it was horrible, hurtful, and completely unfair. All we wanted was to be accepted for who we were, into a group of people whose way of life appealed to us through common interests.

............ must be universal - because that's exactly what happened to me in a Perth bike club - still happens when i bother to turn up and is the major reason i don't attempt to socialise [the other being that if i wanted to sit around and discuss girl things i'd join the women's institute <_<]

- it's not by any means all, but there's an element there that are clique-y, snide and defensive as all hell ......

life's too short

[Speedracer]

He of course said no.....
1. "My wife wouldn't like it"
2. "I didn't help my husband get XXX so that some other person could ... enjoy [it]"


:lol: this is typical chick think that makes no sense to guys...
I reckon this is what happened

Guy think:
Friends pressure guy to give a ride to some random
Guy realises this is not a good idea (TM)
Guy finds the nicest way to say no which is to point out that his wife would not allow such an act (which is true and it's not as harsh as saying no).
Guy thinks he has defused the situation as best he could and all is well.

Chick think:
Pick out some random comment #1
Take the worst possible meaning of #1
Turn #1 into #2.
Start imagining #2 is what really happened

Outcome
Wife is annoyed :spanking:
Husband is confused :Pokey:

[mstriumph]

...........[FONT=Comic Sans MS]IF the marriage was rock solid this would be no problem.

don't know if i'd agree with that
it comes to bike-ownership, not bloke-trust - if he couldn't be trusted he would have pillioned the stranger and said nothing about it

i understand her to say that half that bike is hers ...so she has an equal say in who rides it and who doesn't .....

as i understand it, their mates KNEW she was was territorial about the seat [nothing wrong with that - heck - i'm territorial about my entire bike :confused:]and yet they expected her bloke to disregard that ....

i'd be upset - upset with those that asked him ..... good on him for saying no

[Sofa]

don't know if i'd agree with that
it comes to bike-ownership, not bloke-trust - if he couldn't be trusted he would have pillioned the stranger and said nothing about it

i understand her to say that half that bike is hers ...so she has an equal say in who rides it and who doesn't .....

as i understand it, their mates KNEW she was was territorial about the seat [nothing wrong with that - heck - i'm territorial about my entire bike :confused:]and yet they expected her bloke to disregard that ....

i'd be upset - upset with those that asked him ..... good on him for saying no

totally agree with that :) I think sometimes sometimes us females just think too much sometimes and that's half the reason these things turn into big deals :doh: oh well, the other half is men, but I don't think thats news to anyone :bleh::done:

[Macktheknife]

I am new to this site so not quite sure if I am posting in the right section, but I think it is a female issue. My husband and I jointly bought a Fatboy and as I work away alot he goes on runs by himself with his mates. I have no issues with this. However today he came home and told me his friends who I have met a few times had asked if their friend a female whom I don't know from a bar of soap could jump on the back of our bike and go on this run with them. He of course said no, but the reply was "my wife wouldn't like it" . Not of course he wouldn't like it. He says I'm being stupid I on the other hand are pretty pissed that his friends, so called my friends even asked him that. My thoughts are I didn't help my husband get his $40.000 dream bike so that some other person could get on it and enjoy my ride. Your views please.:angry::nono:
"He says I'm being stupid"
He is right. Why does this need to be some kind of conspiracy? Calm down already, he said no and he was honest with you, the 'friends' probably just made an innocent 'mistake'. Leave it at that.


"Your views please"
Maybe you need to take a look around the motorcycling community, most riders will help out other riders whenever possible. This includes pillion rides, recovery of bikes, pre-purchase inspection of bikes, assistance in fixing bikes, setting up bikes, etc. People often want to try a different riding experience on the back of someone else's bike, the fact that yours is a Harley could make this even more likely. Maybe you are selfish, as you described yourself in the later post, maybe you just haven't given us enough information to make a clear distinction to what the heck you have to be angry about. Either way, calm down, try and think rationally, you will only make it worse otherwise.
If you are truly this upset just because someone asked for a pillion on the bike, maybe you should seek some help in working on your anger management issues, because this is a really out of proportion response.

[maxworldbiker]

Well, bloody AMEN, to this being all out of proportion!

Over-analysis (read: obsession!) is the quickest route to madness.

If she wants to go there, that's up to her. Whoever goes there with her? Well, that's up to them!

[CookMySock]

.... But if I am not trusted to do the right thing, then there must be a deeper issue that needs dealing with before it festers and destroys me, or us. The OP may not have that sort of situation, it just came across that way to a certain extent.Yes.

Consider ; What am I really afraid of ? That my mate might select a new partner and leave me out in the cold ? Really ? Then I need to get past my own insecurity. She already said she wasn't leaving, and she liked it here, and this was her home, so why don't I believe her ?

The fact is, I don't own anyone and they can leave at any time, so get used to it and get over it. The quicker I do this the quicker I will stop damaging my relationship by projecting my own (incorrect) beliefs and insecurities onto it. Let it go and watch it come back free.

This was the hardest thing I have ever done. (giving up smoking was pretty tough too..)

Once you are past this, all sorts of opportunities open up.

DB

[YellowDog]

I think he did the right thing.

Any guy is normally happy to take any girl on the back of 'the bike he is currently riding'.
In fact the only reason he'd say no is that 'His wife wouldn't like it'.
or maybe if she didn't have the right gear...
or if he only rode a KR150, (but even then there the 'Lets start at the top of that hill' response.)
also, she might not have looked fit enough :nono:

In my opinion Mudthug would have every right to be pissed off if he had given someone neither of them knew a ride on the jointly owned $40k vibrator.

He could have let her ride pillion and then lied about it, but instead he is getting a hard time for being honest. All he did was come up with a good excuse to avoid a potential situation. He did this out of respect for Mudhug, not because he would have minded.

Pass on my congratulations to him for being a good bloke.

Mudhug, you're being unreasonable and causing unjustified stresses in your relationship.

[MSTRS]

.... He did this out of respect for Mudthug....

...or because he is scared of her?
The fact that she owns half a $40K jobby might just give her a hold over him?
Perhaps we are all making way too much of this, including the OP.

[PrincessBandit]

:lol:

Guy think:
Friends pressure guy to give a ride to some random
Guy realises this is not a good idea (TM)
Guy finds the nicest way to say no which is to point out that his wife would not allow such an act (which is true and it's not as harsh as saying no).
Guy thinks he has defused the situation as best he could and all is well.

Chick think:
Pick out some random comment #1
Take the worst possible meaning of #1
Turn #1 into #2.
Start imagining #2 is what really happened



I think you have a good handle on male/female interactions. Seriously. I think some women do over analyse stuff and read all sorts of things into words or situations which had never entered a guys brain. Please note: I am not saying this is true about the original posting which began this thread!!!! I am agreeing that wot speedracer just said, as a generalisation, rings pretty true in my opinion. Sometimes women would benefit from using their "guy brain" to see a situation for the relatively simple issue it is rather than the over complex and convoluted hidden meanings that sometimes we women specialise in .
**PB takes to the hills to escape the coming persecution**

[MSTRS]

Seriously. I think some women do over analyse stuff and read all sorts of things into words or situations which had never entered a guys brain.

Before it gets PD'd, have a read...

[oldrider]

I am new to this site so not quite sure if I am posting in the right section, but I think it is a female issue. My husband and I jointly bought a Fatboy and as I work away alot he goes on runs by himself with his mates. I have no issues with this. However today he came home and told me his friends who I have met a few times had asked if their friend a female whom I don't know from a bar of soap could jump on the back of our bike and go on this run with them. He of course said no, but the reply was "my wife wouldn't like it" . Not of course he wouldn't like it. He says I'm being stupid I on the other hand are pretty pissed that his friends, so called my friends even asked him that. My thoughts are I didn't help my husband get his $40.000 dream bike so that some other person could get on it and enjoy my ride. Your views please.:angry::nono:

It is deeper than just this issue, you two need to get to know one another better and I mean "really" get to know one another!

The bike and the pussy on the fanny bracket is just one issue in a lifetime of issues yet to come!

To make it all the way through you have to be able to trust one another and look ahead and avoid things that will displease the other partner.

You really have to work hard on your relationship, "all the bloody time". Good luck, nobody ever said it would be easy! Cheers, John.

[Blue Velvet]

:corn: <tencharacters>

[ManDownUnder]

He of course said no, but the reply was "my wife wouldn't like it" .

Was he right?


Not of course he wouldn't like it.

What else didn't you say? I hope you're being consistant with him and hold him accountable for all those things too.


My thoughts are I didn't help my husband get his $40.000 dream bike so that some other person could get on it and enjoy my ride. Your views please.:angry::nono:

Honestly, I think you are over-reacting to the whole thing. I can see your point of view and think it's pretty cool of you to be so generous helping hubby get the bike - possibly of his dreams. Underneath it all I think he simply told the truth, and found an "easy out" - i.e. whatever version of the truth that would cause the lease disruption.

If he'd said "I'm not happy with that" then mates general and predicatble response is going to be "aww come on - we (the group) would love her (the wannabe pillion) to come along... go on... etc etc etc". Saying "my wife wouldn't like it" has no such peer pressure/retaliation. She's not here to argue with, so what can the group of friends do? Nothing. Problem dealt with.

I actually respect the guy for saying it. It sounds like the ideal solution to the problem presented, and even if he would have liked it... he put your thoughts and feelings above his own. Remind me how that's a bad thing?

Relax - let him know he's trusted, thank him for what he did, and if you'd prefer him to handle it a different way next time... let him know.

[ManDownUnder]

Oopsie - 1 more view.

Go riding with hubby more if you can. When the group of friends gets to know you more they'll respect what you like and don't like as well... avoiding similar questions in the future.

It's all good!

[nodrog]

I am new to this site so not quite sure if I am posting in the right section, but I think it is a female issue. My husband and I jointly bought a Fatboy and as I work away alot he goes on runs by himself with his mates. I have no issues with this. However today he came home and told me his friends who I have met a few times had asked if their friend a female whom I don't know from a bar of soap could jump on the back of our bike and go on this run with them. He of course said no, but the reply was "my wife wouldn't like it" . Not of course he wouldn't like it. He says I'm being stupid I on the other hand are pretty pissed that his friends, so called my friends even asked him that. My thoughts are I didn't help my husband get his $40.000 dream bike so that some other person could get on it and enjoy my ride. Your views please.:angry::nono:

i think a divorve is the best option, for both of you.

http://divorce.nzpcs.co.nz/divorce-forum.php

[Grub]

Frankly, I think you should split up. If this whining and bleating is the way you're going to conduct your relationship, get out before you have kids and they get wrapped up in it. What it's about is irrelevant.

[buellbabe]

Hey Mudthug heres my 2c for what its worth.
You ask if you should be pissed off?

Well... I try and put myself in yr shoes... and to be honest YEP! I would be jealous as hell...at first... buuuuuuut knowing that my partner is totally my man I would then then probably apologise to my bloke for being so green-eyed and say "sure, why not. I can't go on the ride so if ya wanna take a pillion thats cool".

Perhaps all the other bikes already had pillions and the guys knew yr hubby would have a spare seat?

And lets not forget that he said no...ok so he used your disapproval as the reason but hey! he is a man and the male of the species needs to save face in front of his mates...

Yr man obviously knows you well and respects you.

[Bass]

And lets not forget that he said no...ok so he used your disapproval as the reason .

My money is on this being the thing that really gets her knickers in a twist.
I would guess (emphasise GUESS) that he didn't give a toss either way, but declined because he knew that she felt differently. However he also said so and that was the tactically unsound move, regardless of how truthful it was. It makes her look small minded, and him under her thumb.
The domestically harmonious move would have been to decline and say it was exclusively his partner's seat.
This would have made him look good to all the women involved and the guys were unlikely to bug him about it.
Sometimes the world turns on bullshit and half truths.

[buellbabe]

Bass, yep I think you could be right there.

Ain't hindsight a wonderful thing? LOL

[Number One]

I would guess (emphasise GUESS) that he didn't give a toss either way, but declined because he knew that she felt differently. However he also said so and that was the tactically unsound move, regardless of how truthful it was. It makes her look small minded, and him under her thumb.
The domestically harmonious move would have been to decline and say it was exclusively his partner's seat.
This would have made him look good to all the women involved and the guys were unlikely to bug him about it.
Sometimes the world turns on bullshit and half truths.

sooo true and as a typical Libran I can't decide which side of the fence I belong on so am gonna sit atop and hope that when/if I am in the same position I can maintain some calm...not known for that actually but I'll try (almost) anything once :innocent:

I saw someone a few pages back said it depends on how you see pillioning..is it just a ride or is it a bonding exercise? (Not sure how OP sees it or even if it has anything to do with that or just the fact that she owns half the bike and so doesn't want anyone else having fun on that seat except her.)

For me when I pillion it is bonding time, I choose to be on the back cos I have my own wheels both 2 and 4...I just love wrapping myself round my man on the back of his bike so the thought of some 'random' chick parking up back there does make me uncomfortable - however I agree that it depends on the context of how it all came about and such. Such as if I knew the chick it wouldn't be such a biggie (unless of course I knew her to be a total skank or I hated the bitch!) , or if she was just totally random and genuinely wanting to try her hand at being on a bike - fine. AND I even let him take Deanohit on the back too!

I think this man did good but is in the shit for being honest about it all (though is he? Isn't Mudhog just venting?) either way I hope this all doesn't put him off being honest again.

Frankly the fact that he took the time to tell me about it, even though it was a total non-event would make me feel ok about it. Must agree though that I wouldn't appreciate being painted as the controlling wife, at the end of the day he was asked to make a decision on the spot...he coulda owned it and the above bullshit and half truth suggestion is absolutely spot on! It's all about the positioning :yes: Well done Mr Mudhog

[avgas]

I am new to this site so not quite sure if I am posting in the right section, but I think it is a female issue. My husband and I jointly bought a Fatboy and as I work away alot he goes on runs by himself with his mates. I have no issues with this. However today he came home and told me his friends who I have met a few times had asked if their friend a female whom I don't know from a bar of soap could jump on the back of our bike and go on this run with them. He of course said no, but the reply was "my wife wouldn't like it" . Not of course he wouldn't like it. He says I'm being stupid I on the other hand are pretty pissed that his friends, so called my friends even asked him that. My thoughts are I didn't help my husband get his $40.000 dream bike so that some other person could get on it and enjoy my ride. Your views please.:angry::nono:
You missed your chance women - if you wont fill the pillion seat someone else will
haha

[Number One]

You still sitting in this thread Stirts and without any comment...what's got you so interested? :chase:

[Stirts]

You still sitting in this thread Stirts and without any comment...what's got you so interested? :chase:

Cheekie lil bitch :lol: I actually got interupted with farken WORK!!!! HOW RUDE OF THEM TO EXPECT ME TO DO WORK!!!!!!!!!

Here's my 2c


I can't decide which side of the fence I belong on so am gonna sit atop and hope that when/if I am in the same position I can maintain some calm...not known for that actually but I'll try (almost) anything once :innocent:

Totally agree with you on this one, I have been blinging left right and centre on this thread, on all points of view!

Guess it depends on the circumstances and intentions of parties involved. Pillioning on the bike with my man is bonding for me too. But as a learner I have found pillioning to be a great learning tool also. So I wouldn't have an issue with anyone jumping on the back with my man. And I am happy to pillion with someone else, of course my body position would differ immensely! (Wouldn’t be wrapping my body around anyone but my man).

BUT IF her intentions were to cop a feel and I found this out, well she may very well get a whole lotta hurt coming her way!

Mudthug....Thinking about the 'what ifs' and such is only going to cause you pain and aguish! I would hope that there is some trust there, otherwise you are in for some serious hurting.

I hope like hell your issue is not "if I can't go on the back, no-one can"

[Speedracer]

The advice in this thread is priceless!!!! :clap:

My bet is that no matter what is said in this thread
Wifey is still pissed
Hubby is still confused

and the only way it is going to get resolved is when a new 'crisis' appears :violin:

:dodge:

[mudthug]

Thankyou people I have indeed enjoyed reading your posts:rolleyes: Had quite a few laughs along the way hehehe. When I vent about things its usually over within the hour. My husband and I thought this would be a good post to throw out there and get a few thoughts on the matter, as I thought it would be fairly controversial. And yes it certainly has been an eye opener. I just wonder if I would have got quite the same reaction if I had omitted the fact that it was a female. hehehe.


And yes I think as a new poster perhaps I got it all abit arse about tit.

should I be. (not pissed off in the sense that I'd like to chop their heads off and feed them to the crocs pissed off)

ie Pissed off at friends for asking him to pillion a stranger
Pissed off that he didn't want to take the pillion but used me as excuse
(as he does this quite abit , ie mates want him to go to pub and he doesn't want to go "Ball and chain say's no bro")

LOL :laugh: So no I don't think a divorce is on the horizon,


I am fortunate to be in a relationship where i can be honest and say exactly how i feel without the fear of my partner saying" thats it it's over"
I have always been a firm believer that you can't make someone love you they either do or they don't. Lifes too short to make the one you love miserable. Even though it seems sometimes I'm having a good whack at it!!!!!!

From what I can gather:

My husbands reason for not wanting a pillion "just don't want them on the back" this is an acceptable man reason.


My reason for not wanting a pillion "just don't want them on the back" unacceptable must be ulterior motive , obviously selfish, trust issues, marriage obviously in trouble, poor man what a nag!!!!!!!!!!:bleh::bleh::bleh::bleh:


Good on ya's this has been great!!!!!:2thumbsup:wari:

[alley cat]

When it comes to sharing you bike, the more you share, the more you will recieve. Surely you would enjoy being pillion on someone elses bike just for a laugh.
As for the man, trust them to do whats rite. They arnt as stupid as they look most of the time;)

[nodrog]

Cheekie lil bitch :lol: I actually got interupted with farken WORK!!!! HOW RUDE OF THEM TO EXPECT ME TO DO WORK!!!!!!!!!

Here's my 2c



Totally agree with you on this one, I have been blinging left right and centre on this thread, on all points of view!

Guess it depends on the circumstances and intentions of parties involved. Pillioning on the bike with my man is bonding for me too. But as a learner I have found pillioning to be a great learning tool also. So I wouldn't have an issue with anyone jumping on the back with my man. And I am happy to pillion with someone else, of course my body position would differ immensely! (Wouldn’t be wrapping my body around anyone but my man).

BUT IF her intentions were to cop a feel and I found this out, well she may very well get a whole lotta hurt coming her way!

Mudthug....Thinking about the 'what ifs' and such is only going to cause you pain and aguish! I would hope that there is some trust there, otherwise you are in for some serious hurting.

I hope like hell your issue is not "if I can't go on the back, no-one can"

are you pimping me out now?

[Stirts]

are you pimping me out now?

:devil2: hmmmmmmmmm now there's an idea, I am looking for a new career!

[nodrog]

:devil2: hmmmmmmmmm now there's an idea, I am looking for a new career!

do i have to wear the heals?

[Stirts]

do i have to wear the heals?

Ssssssshhhhhhhhh just for me

[MSTRS]

do i have to wear the heals?

Not if you want a shot at being pillion on the OP's bike....

[Patrick]

I just wonder if I would have got quite the same reaction if I had omitted the fact that it was a female. hehehe.

Exactly... and what I said before....


If it was a bloke taking your seat, would this even be an issue??????????

It's a nice bike, people want to have a ride on it but I guess that will only happen as pillion....

When you have time off, can you take blokes out on it??????? I am free most weekends....:buggerd:

Sooooooooooooo, if it was a bloke, would there even be 5-6 pages of this thread?

[McJim]

I love having a rear cowl. It makes a great excuse for not taking pillions. They screw up the handling anyway.:girlfight:

[bert_is_evil]

I don't see the problem, they asked him to take a chick for a pillion, not have sex with her. He said no and gave an honest explanation.

[Chocky]

I dont see why this is even an issue? it's been said a few times already 'wld you mind if it was a guy? how about a gay guy? or gay woman? or if he was taking her for a drive in a car? pull your head in

[CookMySock]

I dont see why this is even an issue? it's been said a few times already 'wld you mind if it was a guy? how about a gay guy? or gay woman? or if he was taking her for a drive in a car? pull your head inIf it was a gay guy then he wouldnt want to fuck her, ahh, it. So the point would be moot.

DB

[bert_is_evil]

Should this thread be in the Rant & Rave section? Doesn't seem to actually be bike related.

[Number One]

Hey I thought we'd all moved on anyway. The original Poster made clear where she was coming from.

I want to hear more from Stirts about her new job as a PIMP!