Riding scared

[FROSTY]

I had a bit of a crash May last year.It kinda fucked with the small amount of grey matter in the ol noggin.
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=51300
Applying the get back on the horse principle I was back riding Jorjas lil 125 within a few weeks.
A few months afterwards I rode the very bike at the track i crashed on.
And I've been out on a few other bikes.
Heres the thing though. It's hard to admit but I've been riding scared the whole time.
Actually No scared isn't the word really. Come to some corners and the word is -terrified.
It's the kind of terror based on years of "getting away with it"
Is that just a shiney bit of road or a Diesel spill?. Is that gravel by the roadside ahead or just different seal? Is there going to be a car coming my side of the road? No rythem of riding.rough and jerky in the corners.
Even on my trail bike triuth be known I'm none to happy to even begin to explore its limits. The kids are a fine ol excuse for riding slow.
Its the fear of actually feeling like a fraud too. turn up for a ride and people I know full well could ride rings around me thinking I can ride really fast if I "wanted to".
Scared Ill never enjoy going quick on the racetrack again or enjoy a fastish ride on some of my favorite roads.

Well last night I finally had a ride that I enjoyed .
It was on "ginny" the not so grunty GS500 I've recently aquired.
A 2 hour ride with a bunch of fellow KBers around some of west aucklands more er "interesting " roads.
Never riding "fast" just enough to get a good flow on
The corners all merged together in some sort of harmony.
Just as I was starting to feel a bit pushed and uncomfortable. a guy on a green 636 (er zx10) passed me and I was able to follow his lines. It felt just so incredibly good to be "as one' with a bike again.

It feels good to be back in a groove and loose those demons that have haunted me all these months.


PS--sorry for the rant

[Mikkel]

I'm sure that if you give it time and find that you are sure about getting back on you'll let the fear go eventually. My mantra for loosening up on steep nasty stuff on skis is to ask myself "what are you afraid of?"... Dunno about you, but I'm only afraid of letting myself be restricted in doing what I enjoy.

I think what you describe is the reaction of a healthy mind that has a will to persevere ;)

[Nagash]

I have a strange (well atleast i think it is) mindset when riding.

I sort of go by ultimate trust in the gear i'm riding, as in if I do crash I ain't gonna feel a thing, i'll just slide down the road, get up and the insurance will cover me bike.

Now while this is just plain ignorance it does make me feel better about pushing myself abit further.


Though I ride a 250 cruiser.. I reckon the speeds we're talking are we bit bit different to what you experiance but i've ridden a Rocket III at high speed and had the same mind set so I imagine it's the same.

Good to see you have a bike which you can actually find enjoyable, I guess the smaller sized bikes can do that. They're more fun to ride at slow speed :yes:

[CookMySock]

FROSTY,

I've been riding larger roadbikes for only a couple of months, what you have said reflects how I feel right now. Of course, those are just the feelings part of it - you have knowledge and skill and I do not. :pinch:

Perhaps it is normal to feel this apprehension after your 'off'.

Maybe that now you have the skill, you just have to again go through the "getting through the fear" part.. a normal part of learning the craft - certainly is for me.

I struggled to get past all these things in my head, and in the end I just had to accept that the bike wasn't going to flip upside down at the slightest provocation.. and it doesn't.. So I just accept it now, and take a big breath and relax - and its working! Sure, on the road this must be tempered with a healthy dose of realism, but at some point I have had to trust the bike.

Maybe you will have to go through one of these processes again. Don't give up.

You mustn't worry that anyone thinks you are slow, or unskilled.. You just take your time and start over from where you need to, and soon you will be feeling happy and safe again. :niceone: Lots and lots of us are recovering from one thing or other.

best,
DB

[Big Dave]

H.T.Frosty.U.

[Steam]

You mean I'm not supposed to be afraid all the time?!?

[Disco Dan]

Frosty - there is two ways that I know of to get through a barrier like this, you can either gradually desensitize yourself (like your learning all over again to trust your bike) and gradually get used to riding quick again, or there is the 'jump in the deep end' approach - go pillion with someone you trust and that is quick...

[Usarka]

I get the fear occassionally with approaching vehicles. Witnessed a number of "crossing the centre line" incidents in the last 18 months and occasionally the old noggin plays a bad scene. man.


aint nuttin i can do about them though :eek: what will be will be....

[Ixion]

You mean I'm not supposed to be afraid all the time?!?

Be afraid. be very afriad.

Actually, whilst it might be a problem at the track

" It's the kind of terror based on years of "getting away with it"
Is that just a shiney bit of road or a Diesel spill?. Is that gravel by the roadside ahead or just different seal? Is there going to be a car coming my side of the road?"

sounds a very sensible state of mind for riding on the road.

I always ride scared. And suspicious.

[FROSTY]

H.T.Frosty.U.
Thanks mate but Jorja does a good enough job at that :bleh:
But thanks for the offer

[Macstar]

Frosty - there is two ways that I know of to get through a barrier like this, you can either gradually desensitize yourself (like your learning all over again to trust your bike) and gradually get used to riding quick again, or there is the 'jump in the deep end' approach - go pillion with someone you trust and that is quick...

I find the healthy fear that keeps you respecting the roads needs to be refreshed from time to time by thinking of the potential consequences. Anyway, Disco Dan is that "Pulled a muscle" or mussel?

[FROSTY]

This is the only bit of the post I didnt understand. You implying you were quick at some stage Frosty?
Ony quick enough to win races--so yea good point--quickish

[Big Dave]

I fear nothing Ix.
I just regard everyone driving a car as completely stupid.

[ManDownUnder]

Pain's a great teacher isn't it?

Yeah all normal mate and good to seee you're back in the saddle doing what you enjoy. It'll come back.. bigger and better than ever

[turtleman]

As someone who has returned to biking after an absence of a few years, and previously having a fairly major binning (got T-boned by a cage), I found my feelings/attitude somewhat similar to yours, Frosty. Though I am unfamiliar with the nature of your bin, and the extent of your injuries, I can sympathise with what you're saying.
I think Ixion summed up how I feel as I'm riding - scared AND suspicious, though I find as time goes by and confidence grows it's more suspicious than scared, and I find that a fairly healthy frame of mind to be in.
It took a while to get back into the rhythm and enjoy the riding - I almost gave it away as I was almost dreading riding in traffic every day at one point. I am glad I persisted, as I'm well past the 'skittery' stage of fear now, and really starting to enjoy myself once again.

I think the fear, though abating, will never leave me totally and probably serves a good reminder of my mortality - a constant reminder to ride within my ability and comfort zone. If that means I'm to be a nana rider then so be it - I'm out there and having fun. :headbang:

[HornetBoy]

Can relate heavily to this frosty,had my first crash 3 months ago (it wasnt a lil off round the central city it was a stupid one that i was lucky to get out of relatively unscathed) and only just recovered the bike to legal state,have been rideing it alot but ive constantly got those feelings of is that gravel on the corner etc and 90% of the time i have flashbacks of my crash whilst riding which really puts me off ,I just dont have the confidence in my bike anymore and i think the only way i will be able to is to sell it and buy another bike , i guess its like relationships if you dont have trust youve got nothing

but in the end crashing like this was a massive wake up call about my level of experience and how i was rideing way out of my limits in terms of speed

[YellowDog]

Maybe you just need to change the sort of riding you're doing so that you start to enjoy corners again.

Good luck to you and well done for getting this far towards normality.

[sugilite]

Good on you for persisting Frosty. You have light at the end of the tunnel.

Each to their own and all that, but I'd not ride motorcycles if I was feeling scared. Suspicious, hell yeah!

[inlinefour]

I had a bit of a crash May last year.It kinda fucked with the small amount of grey matter in the ol noggin.
Applying the get back on the horse principle I was back riding Jorjas lil 125 within a few weeks.
A few months afterwards I rode the very bike at the track i crashed on.
And I've been out on a few other bikes.
Heres the thing though. It's hard to admit but I've been riding scared the whole time.
Actually No scared isn't the word really. Come to some corners and the word is -terrified.
It's the kind of terror based on years of "getting away with it"
Is that just a shiney bit of road or a Diesel spill?. Is that gravel by the roadside ahead or just different seal? Is there going to be a car coming my side of the road? No rythem of riding.rough and jerky in the corners.
Even on my trail bike triuth be known I'm none to happy to even begin to explore its limits. The kids are a fine ol excuse for riding slow.
Its the fear of actually feeling like a fraud too. turn up for a ride and people I know full well could ride rings around me thinking I can ride really fast if I "wanted to".
Scared Ill never enjoy going quick on the racetrack again or enjoy a fastish ride on some of my favorite roads.

Well last night I finally had a ride that I enjoyed .
It was on "ginny" the not so grunty GS500 I've recently aquired.
A 2 hour ride with a bunch of fellow KBers around some of west aucklands more er "interesting " roads.
Never riding "fast" just enough to get a good flow on
The corners all merged together in some sort of harmony.
Just as I was starting to feel a bit pushed and uncomfortable. a guy on a green 636 (er zx10) passed me and I was able to follow his lines. It felt just so incredibly good to be "as one' with a bike again.

It feels good to be back in a groove and loose those demons that have haunted me all these months.


PS--sorry for the rant

I know what your saying as I was terrified once I came too in ChCh ICU after my accident. However I think now that my fear was more to do with the drug induced carrying ons while I was in and out of a coma for several weeks.
However, its been well over a year since then and if I was lucky enough to walk again, I'd be down at the bike dealers with the coin and looking for a good bargin. Then I don't think I'd be doing much apart from riding even if there was still some demons involved.

[FROSTY]

What happened to that trike you were thinking about?

[Terminated]

Never riding "fast" just enough to get a good flow on
The corners all merged together in some sort of harmony.
Just as I was starting to feel a bit pushed and uncomfortable. a guy on a green 636 (er zx10) passed me and I was able to follow his lines. It felt just so incredibly good to be "as one' with a bike again.

It feels good to be back in a groove and loose those demons that have haunted me all these months.


PS--sorry for the rant

No need for apologies, your rant made for interesting reading: I immediately reflected back on my learning to ride experience/s and here you are with heaps of experience and climbing back in the saddle. Sure there will be that little voice inside and it takes time to not just to regain your confidence, but in particular regaining your focusing skills.

I am an old/young rider, as in old fart and newbie, and cutting to the chase for what it is worth, go out there enjoy yourself and discipline yourself to focus on two and no more than three things each ride eg. Counter steering, corner setup, and emergency braking. In doing so you set yourself some goals/targets and in achieving you have exercised that focusing skill. Also you are rebuilding your confidence levels. This confidence may run like peaks and troughs but in time this will even out to the point where your attention will not be focusing too much on any one thing negatively but rather you stay on task addressing the other one or two practice items you set yourself.


Each time I go out and focus on one or two key things and I must say 'being in one with the motorcycle' is slowly taking its shape and I am getting a lot of pleasure [read 'fun'] out of this new found freedom.

I look back now at those early days in May 2006, I had never ridden a bike before, and so, if this makes any sense, I had no fear except fear itself. My approach to learning to ride was very very deliberate and this is reflected in the Newbie Update forum and Blogg.

Frosty I wish you all the very best and I am pleased that the demons that have haunted you are in the rear view mirror going in the opposite direction.

Heads Up And Enjoy

[Mikkel]

While I appreciate the experience of most of the riders here I must say I disagree.

Fear is BAD BAD BAD!!!

But a healthy dose of respect and a sense of premonition is necessary!

Fear makes you freeze up instead of reacting. When you tense up like a coil you can not possibly react as fast and as smoothly as when you're in control.

I think Frank Herbert said it best when he wrote:

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

And that goes for a whole lot of stuff besides motorcycling as well. E.g. how you live your life!

[FROSTY]

Sorry guys I think ya missed the last part.
I NOW feel pretty darn good about riding. Needed to lay them demons to rest.
One last demon is the one at turn 3 at taupo
Plan on killing that one mid april :scooter:

[Mikkel]

Sorry guys I think ya missed the last part.
I NOW feel pretty darn good about riding. Needed to lay them demons to rest.
One last demon is the one at turn 3 at taupo
Plan on killing that one mid april :scooter:

FINISH HIM...

FATALITY!

FROSTY WINS!

FLAWLESS-ish VICTORY!

;)

Good on ya.

[madbikeboy]

Frosty - anticipation of an event is worse than the event itself - Nietzsche.

I was born without the self preservation gene - this is the gene that stops you from leaping from tall buildings or buying a GSXR1000... But, as I get older I'm starting to realise those occasions where the self preservation gene might be useful.

I spend a lot of time aching - on cold days all the broken bones ache - and it's a useful reminder before doing something dumb (at which I am truly gifted).

I've lost interest in riding road bikes, meaning bicycles. Same thing as you. When I ride I realise how much it hurts to be hit by cars, to end up in hospital, and I hate surgery. I spend more time thinking about what if. Most of my friends have given it up as well. I need another knee reconstruction, and I'm using that as an excuse - but if I'm honest, I've had so many close calls, I must be on my 9th life. I think this is where the self preservation could be useful. If I had it...

When I'm on the scoot I get to control the environment a little more, I wear a carbon and fibreglass lid, and body armour - this versus polystyrene and lycra... Plus, on a pushie, you're a target, lycra seems less useful as an intimidation factor. Leather and body armour, dark visor and attitude. Go figure.

My point is - you get over it - I spent a while in SF, riding around with my friends, and I started to love cycling again. Back here, all I get is bad memories. But, you start to overcome the fears, it's then a logical decision instead of something driven by fear alone...

[inlinefour]

What happened to that trike you were thinking about?

Its had to wait until we have a custom built house. You would not believe how the majority of houses are not suitable to live in as a wheelchair user. Until thats sorted any other plans are on hold... :crybaby:

[tide]

good on ya Frosty... when chatting to you last night at the pub... you had a glint in your eye... :bleh:

[beyond]

Good post Frosty.
You have merely matured as a more experienced rider.
You have once again found your "Mojo" so to speak and it can take a couple of months or maybe a year or so.
It sounds like you have found your flow again and what you speak of is quite normal.

Pain is a rather harsh teacher and once taught it takes a little while to trust the limits of your bike and personal threshold once again.

You find if you bin on a left hander you will favour that side more when cornering and vice versa. I found after my left hand bin that the tyres on the right side of my bike wore a lot quicker than the left. It's been a year for me but my tyres are wearing even again :) At the time I thought I was riding evenly but the proof was in my tyre wear (on normal road riding of course)

My mate took a year to come right after a bad bin but he's got over the barrier so to speak now.