A Tribute to Nick (no bike content just me venting)

[Paul in NZ]

I'll appologise for this up front. It's pretty bloody self indulgent clap trap so bail out now if you have any sense....

I don't quite know why I feel the need to share this with you all as I'm
sure it will bounce over the heads of some and has sweet fanny adams to do
with bikes.

However. Today, after a long and courageous battle my friend and colleague
Nick had his life support turned off after severe complications from a lung
transplant operation. I guess that I can take some solace that Nick is no
longer suffering but I still cannot believe he, who fought so bloody hard is
gone. It really does not sit well with me at all...

Nick was an utterly decent human being and one of the few people in business
that I could trust 100% and had faith in me that I would deliver what I
promised! You just cannot believe how hard I have taken this.. God knows
what his poor family are going through!

After I heard the news I had to go for a walk and all I could see were
useless people squandering the gift of life on pathetic pursuits and useless
activity. I could barely restrain myself. I know most of you think I'm
completely bonkers anyway but you will need to trust me on this.. Today the
world is a darker and poorer place because we lost one of the good ones.
Towards the end we had to virtually carry Nick into meetings and I had to
watch him during presentations because he would run out of energy halfway
through.. I'd have to quickly jump in and talk over him while he recovered.
We still have customer that never realised what was happening and still
think me rude for talking over him.

I don't know if I could have faced what Nick faced and do so as bravely.

I lost a friend today. Do me a favour.

Don't fucking smoke

Donate your bloody organs

Tell your MP to spend some of the damn surplus on health

Live life to the full and be as tough as Nick was. The toughest man I ever
met.

If you are lucky enough to have a God, please pray for him and his family as
I can't.......

Sorry. Some things just gotta be done and frankly if you don't like what I wrote... Well....

Paul N

[Riff Raff]

It's extremely hard to lose someone you care about, especially when it seems so unfair. Go ahead and rant. You're allowed to feel the way you do. There's nothing I can say that will make it any better, so I won't try, but I will spare a thought for his family and you. Hope it's not too long before you can smile and remember all the good times you had with him. :grouphug:

[Racey Rider]

If you are lucky enough to have a God, please pray for him and his family

Paul N

Nick, His Family, and You.

Will Do!

[jazbug5]

So sorry, Paul.

It's difficult to think of something to say that won't sound trite; but here goes anyway- what the hell.
Probably one of the only good things about a long drawn out illness like this is that it does at least give the person and their family and friends a chance to say goodbye, make good petty grievances and evaluate what is important in life.
I had the good fortune (?) to work in a hospice when I was very young (first proper job) and saw a lot of people die in very different ways. As crass as this is to say- we all gotta do it some time. We rarely get to choose when, or what of- but we can choose how to deal with it- usually.
Last week I heard that one of my friends back home had died suddenly.No-one got to say goodbye to him; and he was only 35. He really was one of those people who you can say of that "he really lived life to the full". Doesn't mean we can feel good about him being dead. But at least we can feel good about his life.
Now, I've had a very long week; I am not at my most articulate, and I know that tomorrow I will think of far better things to say, but if there's one thing that I did learn from brave people like your friend, it's to just spit these things out and muddle along, because there's nothing worse than regretting not saying things that are sometimes difficult to say (eg. 'I admire/love/etc you) until it's too late, and has become impossible.

Oh, and I second that motion: stop smoking, folks. If you're having any trouble with it, then PM me and I'll decribe to you the many varied and 'interesting' ways that you can die slowly from cancer. It worked for my mum, anyway.

Take care, Paul.

[justsomeguy]

My sincere condolences Paul. I understand exactly how you feel.

And ALL THAT YOU SAID MAKES COMPLETE SENSE.

It is easy to say that we all have to go at sometime or the other. But in reality none of us want to accept that fact.

When someone close to us parts company and that too after a long and brave struggle it amplifies our grief.

As for your comments on living life to the fullest...... well we all know that. But literally none of us follow it.

Why?

Because that is the way people are; most of us see the dirty window and few the beautiful view.

How many of you bought your first alarm system after your first serious burglary??

How many of you spent a lot of money and time doing up you house only when you were about to sell or rent - and not while you were living there?

How many of you have hidden away some of your childhood fantasies?? - By convincing yourself that their time has past and that now you must simply settle for what you have. Do you even remember your childhood fantasies?

I could go on and on.............Hindsight is a wonderful thing. However it is also one hundred percent useless and it never is present when you actually require it.

Take it easy Paul. Just as little drops of water make the mighty oceans with every moment life must go on. Take it one day at a time old fella and we’ll all get there.

My best wishes to your friend’s family...... they must feel dreadful.

Lets all learn from this and try not to sweat the little things and make the bigger picture a little prettier.

May peace come to those who need it.

[FROSTY]

Paul--Shit mate what words can say that we share your pain.
You were saying on sunday what a good mate he is/was
shit dude i feel for ya.
Cyber smack on the back dude--ya know cos blokes dont hug an all that

[jazbug5]

Well; Justsomeguy went and said all the stuff I was going to think of (honest) tomorrow. Well said, that man.

[Motu]

Probably one of the only good things about a long drawn out illness like this is that it does at least give the person and their family and friends a chance to say goodbye, make good petty grievances and evaluate what is important in life.
I had the good fortune (?) to work in a hospice when I was very young (first proper job) and saw a lot of people die in very different ways. As crass as this is to say- we all gotta do it some time. We rarely get to choose when, or what of- but we can choose how to deal with it- usually.
.

True Jaz,when my mother died from cancer this year,in a hospice,I was a bit upset at how much I was NOT upset,I mean,losing my mother should of been a big deal,but it wasn't.We had time to sort things out,physicaly and emotionaly...she knew she was dying,I knew she was dying,we just enjoyed our time together.If she was taken from me suddenly I would of been upset for sure,but she died in peace and dignity,I still think of her everyday,thankful she was part of my life.

[ajturbo]

my land lord's brother was buried today from a long sickness, one feel’s pretty useless… but at least talking about will help, and just maybe your message will strike a cord for someone to get their shit together!

Andy

[scumdog]

Those words "Slowly squandering the gift of life" are just so so true!!

It really burns me to see young fit people wasting precious minutes of their life sitting on front of an X-box and smoking their lungs out and holding their hands out for the next benefit payment!! Life is not a rehearsal and you are dead a long time. :angry2:

I feel for you losing a mate who died so needlessly, my condolences :hug: :weep:

[Kendog]

True Jaz,when my mother died from cancer this year,in a hospice,I was a bit upset at how much I was NOT upset,I mean,losing my mother should of been a big deal,but it wasn't.We had time to sort things out,physicaly and emotionaly...she knew she was dying,I knew she was dying,we just enjoyed our time together.If she was taken from me suddenly I would of been upset for sure,but she died in peace and dignity,I still think of her everyday,thankful she was part of my life.

Been there
:hug:

Paul, your words are a true tribute

[ching_ching]

Mother gone to cancer (non smoker). Dad gone too.

Biking keeps me sane. (I'm insane at the mo, no bike).

Condolences Paul. Kia kaha.

ching

[rodgerd]

Sorry for your loss.


Donate your bloody organs

This is one that gets on my tits. People bleating "organ donation is against my culture." Fine. Then you don't get a fucking transplant, right?

When I'm dead, I sure as shit don't need my kidneys any more. If someone else wants em, they're a damn sight better helping them live, rather than rotting in a pine box.

[Paul in NZ]

Thanks..

I have my act together a little better today.

It's hard when you loose someone that you want to be more like. I never met a more positive person...

Friday was hard as we were presenting a deal to a customer that involved Nick and you have no idea how hard it was doing it while looking at his empty seat and knowing he was in a ward in Auckland and what was happening.

Normally I would have cancelled but these people travelled a long way and Nick would never have approved of such a thing...

I find it sad that technology is so directed at distancing ourselves from each other and the rest of the world. Motorcyclists understand this better than most I think as when you ride you are a part of the environment instead of merely transiting it in a cocoon. It's something a rider avoids and lets face it we live with risk riding at our shoulder daily.

The kind words that have been posted here and expressed to me have made me realise just what a great bunch you are and that there are people out there that still care.

Thanks. It really means a lot right now!

Paul N

Monday will come and we will go back to work and pick up the pieces and move onwards because we cannot go back.

[Skyryder]

You are in my thoughts Paul. Each of us deal with the loss of our loved ones differently. We mourn their passing and give thanks that their suffering is over. For my part I belive that our loved ones are always with us: we share their memories and as such they will always be a part of our lives.

Skyryder

[Coyote]

This is one that gets on my tits. People bleating "organ donation is against my culture." Fine. Then you don't get a fucking transplant, right?

When I'm dead, I sure as shit don't need my kidneys any more. If someone else wants em, they're a damn sight better helping them live, rather than rotting in a pine box.
Damn right. Who really needs their organs once they're dead. It's just greedy to keep them.

And I'll heed your advice Paul. Won't smoke, and will become a donor.

[Storm]

Sorry to hear Paul. My prayers are with you and his family.

[Ms Piggy]

Hi Paul - so sorry for your loss.

Thanks for sharing with us.

I have been realising more and more how precious life is and how much I need to value and take care of those near and dear to me, as well as value the time I spend with them and value life enough to enjoy it rather than being miserable about the small things.

[Hitcher]

What New Zealand needs is a proper register for people who wish to donate their organs. The "tick box" thing on your license renewal unfortunately doesn't cut it. If your next of kin are unaware of your wishes, or have a world view different from yours, than you'll get buried or flamed more or less intact. What a waste. There are some amongst us who have a different view on organ donation. I respect their views but if my organs are any use when I've done with them, than I hope they can add value to somebody else's quality of life.

[Blakamin]

I hope you are feeling better Paul, knowing at least his pain is over... :(
but, to me, he sounds like the type of guy that would want you to remember the good times and get on with the things he started... and do a damn fine job of it!


What New Zealand needs is a proper register for people who wish to donate their organs. The "tick box" thing on your license renewal unfortunately doesn't cut it. If your next of kin are unaware of your wishes, or have a world view different from yours, than you'll get buried or flamed more or less intact. What a waste. There are some amongst us who have a different view on organ donation. I respect their views but if my organs are any use when I've done with them, than I hope they can add value to somebody else's quality of life.

Thats a very good point...
I've discussed donation with evryone that is likely to know me when I'm dead (or just before :sneaky2: )
its on my licence and in my will too... but the register is definately the way to go!


I have been realising more and more how precious life is
But its still there for living! and dont forget that point!