Excuse me please.

[MisterD]

Right seeing as this is KB, home to the biggest bunch of lying, cheating, coniving SOB's that I could think of (but in a nice way :rockon:)...I thought it was the perfect place to get advice on how to be excused from jury service.

S'right, I've got the summons for some case in mid-April set down for 10 weeks...yep 10, so it's sure to be a good 'un, right?

Problem is, I'm by way of being in sales so 10 weeks of not seeing customers = a big hit in the pocket, is that a good enough excuse or do I need to come up with something better? "The dog ate my summons" probably won't cut it eh?

Ta muchly

MrD

[Mom]

Know a friendly doctor? A screaming case of PTSD should probably get you excused :yes:

[Rockbuddy]

man ive never been called to jury duty id swap with you any day if i could

[MSTRS]

Know a friendly doctor? A screaming case of PTSD should probably get you excused :yes:

Or do you suffer from PMT?...heh...
If you have an employer who won't be able to continue without you for that length of time, then s/he needs to write in (for you)

[Virago]

Self employed people, or business owners who can show that their prescence is required to keep the business going, can get off the jury service (been there, done that).

Employees require a letter from their employer, confirming that they are indispensable.

For jury service, most employers will make up the short-fall in income.

[Big Dave]

Don't shower or shave for a week before - make a tinfoil skin for the scooter helmet - and keep mumbling incoherently 'it's the interferons'.

Might not get you off duty - but it sure sounds like fun.

[Ixion]

Just get your employer to write a letter saying that you are essential to the business, and cannot be replaced for 10 weeks. Put in some waffle about how many people depend on the business for their livelihood, how important a social function your company fills, export sales blah blah blah.

Almost always egts exemption (never actually heard of anyone not, but I suppose there's bound to be an exception)

[MIXONE]

If that fails don't shave for 3 or 4 days and go in wearing your bike gear.If you don't wear leather borrow some.Works every time.

[jrandom]

I got out of two weeks of jury service last year with a letter explaining that my business would undoubtedly falter if I disappeared from it for that long.

To be honest, I would have quite liked to go along and observe the process. The letter I received made it sound as though there was an interesting case to be heard.

But, yes, unfortunately I was telling the truth when I said that I couldn't take two weeks off.

[Big Dave]

Hum Twilight Zone theme please.

I just received a summons. Only for a week.

[MIXONE]

Hum Twilight Zone theme please.

I just received a summons.

Fuck that I'm outta this thread.:bye:

[JimO]

Hum Twilight Zone theme please.

I just received a summons.

for jury duty or the other kind??........shave your head and get swastikas tattoed on your eyelids, worked for me

[fireliv]

Yup work commitments is definatly a good excuse. ESp for a 10 wk trial, just claim loss if income (which it would be as you get paid crap) Or you could use child care issues

[Big Dave]

for jury duty or the other kind??........shave your head and get swastikas tattoed on your eyelids, worked for me

For Jury Duty. I suspect I have valid business reasons, but maybe I should just HTFU and do it. Mine's only a week.

[Steam]

Oh I am so envious, I'd love to do jury duty.
I went to see court operating for a day as part of my course, it was a real eye-opener, very interesting.

[spookytooth]

Just wander in dressed all nice like.Then in a loud clear voice say "so who is the guilty prick thats we are sending to jail today then"

[P38]

Right seeing as this is KB, home to the biggest bunch of lying, cheating, coniving SOB's that I could think of (but in a nice way :rockon:)...I thought it was the perfect place to get advice on how to be excused from jury service.


MrD

Turn up to the Jury selection room.

If ya get picked to go through to the court room

Put ya hand up when they ask if you know any of the defendants or witnesses.

When asked tell em

I know some of them guilty bastards, should be a quick trial too.

You'll most likely be invited to leave at this point.

Job Done.:niceone:

[MisterD]

Oh I am so envious, I'd love to do jury duty.
I went to see court operating for a day as part of my course, it was a real eye-opener, very interesting.

A couple of weeks would have been educational, at ten weeks it's just too much time, although probably an interesting case (when's the Bain re-trial?). I'm starting to see why people cast doubt on the level of competence of most juries...I mean, who of the working public can afford ten weeks away from work?

[Nasty]

I have always got a medical discharge .. but you can get your boss to write in with how busy you are .. and how they won't cope without you.!

[karla]

S'right, I've got the summons for some case in mid-April set down for 10 weeks...yep 10, so it's sure to be a good 'un, right?




Hum Twilight Zone theme please.

I just received a summons. Only for a week.


Fuck that I'm outta this thread.:bye:

Da da da da, I got a summons a few weeks ago to do my service to the country. I haven't been told how long the case is, have very little info actually except that I may be culled out on the first day and that I would be reimbursed for any parking costs. I've prepared my boss for a week without me just in case I am one of the chosen few.

Could be a gathering of KB'ers!! :calm:

I can see it now, notes being passed under the bench from one juror to the next ... "are you KB?"

[MisterD]

I know some of them guilty bastards, should be a quick trial too.


Ah, the Sam Vimes approach...everyone's guilty of something, it's just a question of what.

Alternatively:

"Yes, sorry your honour, I've got to get back to work, just put me down for a guilty verdict, there's a good chap. Enjoy your session with Miss Whiplash at lunchtime.."

[Big Dave]

"Yes, sorry your honour, I've got to get back to work, just put me down for a guilty verdict, there's a good chap. Enjoy your session with Miss Whiplash at lunchtime.."

He's just a Kiwi Judge mate - not a Tory MP.

[karla]

A couple of weeks would have been educational, at ten weeks it's just too much time, although probably an interesting case (when's the Bain re-trial?). I'm starting to see why people cast doubt on the level of competence of most juries...I mean, who of the working public can afford ten weeks away from work?

You can get an increased payment (on top of the money they pay per half day) by applying. All you have to do is provide evidence of usual earnings and usual outgoings (financial commitments - alcohol, drugs, gambling addiction, petrol for bike rallies etc). :apint:

[karla]

He's just a Kiwi Judge mate - not a Tory MP.

"She" is a Kiwi judge ... :rolleyes:

[mstriumph]

...........I thought it was the perfect place to get advice on how to be excused from jury service........... I'm by way of being in sales .............. ..... and you can't come up with your OWN pitch?? :bleh: ---------

oh - i dunno ---- go into the selection process saying "Kill --- KILL" a la 'Alice's Restaurant' i guess .... hopefully with a better result :msn-wink:

[MisterD]

..... and you can't come up with your OWN pitch?? :bleh: ---------



:clap::clap: Thanks mstriumph, or should I say mstoocleverbyhalf?

Gotta do my research and preparation now, don't I?

[MyGSXF]

I was called up for Jury service 2 weeks ago. Went in there with 80 ish other people.. who were also called up. After the accused were led into the courtroom & pleaded etc.. one of the bigwigs started pulling our names out of a barrel. As each name was called, the person walked towards the jury seats & before, or as they got to the seats, if any of the lawyers didn't like the look of them, for whatever reason, they called out "challenge".. that person then had to go back & sit down & another name was called out. This process was repeated till they had 12 people in the jury seats. Approx 20 names were pulled out of the barrel all up. The rest of us were then thanked for our time & allowed to leave. Was funny though, during this selection process.. it was kinda obvious which people were going to be "challenged" as they walked towards the jury seats.. sooo... if ya can't get out of it beforehand due to work commitments etc.. go in looking scruffy'ish & unshaved, carrying a helmet! :shutup:

ya should be outta there in 5 then!! :lol:

[Big Dave]

go in looking scruffy'ish & unshaved, carrying a helmet! :shutup:



You mean...there is some other look?

[Swoop]

MisterD, Your best option is to write in stating that you are a rep who will be severely financially out of pocket by attending a trial of that length. It is the truth and you will be let off of the case since they do their best to accomodate this.
What court? District, high?


For some unknown reason I am called for jury duty every two years. The only time when this hasn't happened has been when I was on a case.
Luckily I now have an extended period of not being called.


man ive never been called to jury duty id swap with you any day if i could
Easily enough done. They do not check identities apart from a simple roll-call at the beginning.

If that fails don't shave for 3 or 4 days and go in wearing your bike gear.If you don't wear leather borrow some.Works every time.
Bollocks. My last case there were two of us with full gear. One of us was selected... :whistle:

Turn up to the Jury selection room.

If ya get picked to go through to the court room

Put ya hand up when they ask if you know any of the defendants or witnesses.

When asked tell em

I know some of them guilty bastards, should be a quick trial too.

You'll most likely be invited to leave at this point.

Last trial, one of the called names said that he knew one of the names called at the beginning. He had to go forward and have a prolonged but very quiet discussion with the judge. Chap didn't seen too happy at the end of it.

[idb]

I have always got a medical discharge ..

Ewwww!!!!!!

I'm glad you shared but that is relevant how????

[Grub]

It's fun, very interesting and better than watching Judge Judy or Court TV.

Seriously, it's worth doing.

[Grub]

A couple of weeks would have been educational, at ten weeks it's just too much time, ?

If you've been Summoned to the District Court, it's only a week at most. High Court, who knows.

[Nasty]

Ewwww!!!!!!

I'm glad you shared but that is relevant how????

What is Ewww about that ... it simple because you don't have to serve with a doctors note.

[civil]

Easy fix. Just write to them asking this one question, and dont go unless they answer. Which wont happen !!!!

"Would you please provide the evidence that supports your claim that I must derve as a juror"

[Swoop]

Easy fix. Just write to them asking this one question, and dont go unless they answer. Which wont happen !!!!

"Would you please provide the evidence that supports your claim that I must derve as a juror"
Firstly, what is "derve"?...:whistle:

Secondly, you have to appear, be formally excused or you will be given a fine for not showing up. There has been talk of the fine going up to $1000 (iirc) recently.

[007XX]

Never been called up, and I'm glad of it...

I seriously believe anyone to be innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonnable doubt...lawyers hate that apparently! :innocent:

I don't think your appearance would help much in the way of getting you relieved of jury duty.
My understanding is that the lawyers on each side will be wanting / rejecting possible candidates based on whether that person is likely to be useful to them to defend their case, be it the prosecution or the defence...

So, if the accused is a biker, the defence is more than likely to like the sight of an empathic brother of the two wheel family.

The loss of income approach seems to be the way to go...

[Finn]

I just ignored their letter and didn't turn up. Failing that, if a letter doesn't work, wear your best suit. Defense will surely not want you selected.

[nodrog]

i was called up last year, the date was 3 days after i was moving 400kms away to another town. i wrote them thanking them for considering me, and to confirm that they would be paying my fuel costs everyday, or as an alternative maybe they would like to put me up at the Copthorne Hotel for the length of the trial. they excused me from attending.

[PuppetMaster]

advice on how to be excused from jury service.


get a little creative.

dear sir/madam
With regards to jury service. I currently have issues being seated for any length of time due to Anal lesions. please let me off.



Regards




.

[avgas]

Say you have hemorrhoids

[Badjelly]

If you've been Summoned to the District Court, it's only a week at most. High Court, who knows.

Well, it seems they do tell you these days how long the trial is likely to be.

I've just received a summons for High Court for a trial up to 2 weeks. I hope I don't get picked, but if I do it should be interesting, anyway.

[Dooly]

Last got called up several years ago.
Wrote back saying that due to my injuries from a major car wreck I cant sit or stay still for long as they hurt. If you want to check, here's my doctor's number.
Got a letter back saying, 'no worries, you're excused for life'. Dunno if they checked with my doc, but I kept the letter for sure!

[gijoe1313]

I remember getting a jury service letter last year... for teachers this is an almighty pain in the arse since it means preparing weeks of relief lessons!? :pinch: :sick: no no and no! :angry2:

So, I writes in mes letters wiv' the principal's letter on the principle that who would think of the children!?

Got off it thank god.

Another teacher wasn't so lucky, poor bastard was in session for 3 weeks. The kids went haywire and never quite got back to the level playing field they were at! (apparently a crackdown on teachers not being represented since they all pleaded the same as me!)

[LilSel]

I got summoned... went into the high court... then my name didnt get picked... so I went back to work... just cuz you get the first bit doesnt mean you will get on the jury... unless u have a good reason not to... just do it...
You will get summoned again regardless of if you 'couldnt do it last time'.

[ManDownUnder]

Know a friendly doctor? A screaming case of PTSD should probably get you excused :yes:

SHIT Sudden CUNT onset ASSWIPE BASTARD CHICKEN FUCKER Tourettes PRICK ought DICKHEAD to BOLLOCKS do SLUTTY it?

[Badjelly]

SHIT Sudden CUNT onset ASSWIPE BASTARD CHICKEN FUCKER Tourettes PRICK ought DICKHEAD to BOLLOCKS do SLUTTY it?

Practicing are you?

[ManDownUnder]

Practicing are you?

FUCK no...

[Swoop]

SHIT Sudden CUNT onset ASSWIPE BASTARD CHICKEN FUCKER Tourettes PRICK ought DICKHEAD to BOLLOCKS do SLUTTY it?
Doubt it. Jurors do not have to actually say anything in court apart from an affirmation/oath and the foreman of the jury with the verdict.

[ManDownUnder]

Doubt it. Jurors do not have to actually say anything in court apart from an affirmation/oath and the foreman of the jury with the verdict.

FUCK Like SHIT I ARSEHOLE have BASTARD any TIT control...

[Mom]

Or do you suffer from PMT?...heh...
Shit you are cute! Lucky your wife loves you!


I was called up for Jury service 2 weeks ago.

I am ineligible for jury service, as I am but a mere resident, been here since end of 1960. Have had two false starts with the citizenship process, first was when I discovered I had never been granted residency despite a stamp in my passport saying I was a returning resident (the stamp was pre- computer days), greyed my hair that one, and second because I need to get over myself and admit I am no different from any other person applying for citizenship in this country, even though I have lived here almost my entire life.


SHIT Sudden CUNT onset ASSWIPE BASTARD CHICKEN FUCKER Tourettes PRICK ought DICKHEAD to BOLLOCKS do SLUTTY it?

No PTSD you silly thang! Though I like your style too!


FUCK Like SHIT I ARSEHOLE have BASTARD any TIT control...

I need a translator for the last bit, but reading between the lines... you feel you have no control unless you are being fucked up the bum? Though I would have said the fucker not the fuckee had control? :killingme

[civil]

Firstly, what is "derve"?...:whistle:

Secondly, you have to appear, be formally excused or you will be given a fine for not showing up. There has been talk of the fine going up to $1000 (iirc) recently.


My mistake, the word is "serve" and what makes you think you have to? Without the evidence presented that supports their claim, then you are free to do as you please.

Too often we just do as others want us to do, without asking the why question. When you start doing this with government types you will soon find out that they either get very angry, dont answer the question, or go very slient. All of these responces makes me think that they have no evidence.

[spudchucka]

Tell them you have to go in for therapy on your chronic tourette's syndrome that day. Tourettes wouldn't go down too well in court, F&#KEN JUDGE, if you know what I mean??

Or alternatively you could tell them that you are booked to try out for police recruitment, they don't like cops on juries, or even people that think they might like to be cops.

[Swoop]

Too often we just do as others want us to do, without asking the why question. When you start doing this with government types you will soon find out that they either get very angry, dont answer the question, or go very slient. All of these responces makes me think that they have no evidence.
Please remember that you, as a juror, have been served a summons to appear in court. The same thing happens to witnesses required for a trial and there are penalties involved if you do not appear.
An arrest warrant could be the next step. Remember last year when the juror left the courtroom and went home?

[Ixion]

Seriously, the registrars and judges have heard all the clever dick excuses, and won't be at all impressed by them

Just get your boss to write a letter asking that you be excused. That's all that's needed.

[ManDownUnder]

What about Te (henna) Moko? Something like "Fuck the pigs" across your forehead?... course you'd need to stay in hiding for a bit after that...

Maybe Te (bic) Moko instead?

[Swoop]

Your Egrang no good cookie boy?
No speakey de engrish?

Or you can be excused on religious grounds.:jerry:

[Big Dave]

Seriously, the registrars and judges have heard all the clever dick excuses, and won't be at all impressed by them

Just get your boss to write a letter asking that you be excused. That's all that's needed.

Oy - you in the scarlet costume.
No-one intends doing this shit - it's just harmless mooning.

[spudchucka]

Doubt it. Jurors do not have to actually say anything in court apart from an affirmation/oath and the foreman of the jury with the verdict.

Sure but the sudden outbursts from that corner of the hushed court room would be priceless.

[MisterD]

It's the flippin' Kahui trial! I knew it'd be something juicy being 10 weeks at the crown court...never mind, even if I hadn't been excused already I doubt I'd have been picked...middle class white fulla says "Burn him!"

[MIXONE]

It's the flippin' Kahui trial! I knew it'd be something juicy being 10 weeks at the crown court...never mind, even if I hadn't been excused already I doubt I'd have been picked...middle class white fulla says "Burn him!"

I saw in some weekend paper that the little prick got a haircut from some up market salon in Auckland.Fuck there goes another couple of hundred dollars of tax payers money.Burn him and his new "do".