BiK3RChiK
19th March 2008, 10:37
When Grandma Goes To Court
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness,a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and
asked,
'Mrs.Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.
Williams.
I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot
when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more
than
a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' The lawyer was stunned. Not
knowing
what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you
know the defense attorney?' She again replied, ' Why ye s, I do. I've known
Mr.
Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a
drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his
law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated
on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I
know
him.' The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet
voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send
you both to the electric chair.'
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness,a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and
asked,
'Mrs.Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.
Williams.
I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot
when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more
than
a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' The lawyer was stunned. Not
knowing
what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you
know the defense attorney?' She again replied, ' Why ye s, I do. I've known
Mr.
Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a
drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his
law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated
on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I
know
him.' The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet
voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send
you both to the electric chair.'