My work-related accident left my boss in tears... of laughter.

[Oakie]

I had an accident at work yesterday. Did the right thing and filled out the standard accident report form. There wasn't enough room on the form to describe the accident though so I prepared a statement to attach to the report, the text of which is copied here. It left my boss collapsed on her desk, laughing uncontrollably and with with tears streaming from her eyes. Here folks ... for your entertainment is what did it to her: (oh, I work in Admin at a place that looks after adults with an intellectual disability ... those are the 'residents' I refer to)

Accident Report, 28 March

I was kicking a couple of soccer balls around with a group of residents. This was interesting as wherever they tried to kick the ball it always seemed to pass about 1.5 metres to the left of the goal. On reflection I think my mistake was standing 1.5 metres to the left of the goal.

I had just kicked a ball back to one of them but failed to notice an incoming ball which must have been kicked with some force. I became aware of the incoming ball when it smashed into my groin (with some force)

The natural reflex action to wrap oneself up into the foetal position took place while a mental assessment of the damage was undertaken. On discovering I could still breath OK and was not infact cross-eyed, with back turned to the residents a quick inventory was taken of the damaged area. I am indebted to the advice of my old soccer coach who told us that during injuries like this ... "Don't rub 'em, just count 'em"

A self treatment plan of 'a few deep breaths and stretch out slowly' was made and seems to have been effective as I was able to kick a couple more (soccer) balls back before making my excuses to the group and returning to work.

The prognisis is for a full recovery although there does appear to be some swelling in the area although that may be unrelated :)

Richard"


Why is it that regardless of the circumstances, a guy getting hit in the nuts is always so funny? (Actually I had tears of laughter rolling down my face just watching her reaction as she read the report as of course I only put it in for a bit of Friday afternoon fun.)

[banditrider]

All incidents must be reported! And after all, this one could have been serious!

[MIXONE]

If she was any sort of boss at all she should have asked to check on the swelling unrelated or not.

[fireliv]

LOL thats awesome!!! (and painful sounding!)

That will teach you to play with balls without being suitably qualified! :lol:

[JimO]

sounds like the simpsons "ball in groin" episode

[Big Dan]

i had tears of pain reading that from personal experience

I was playing cricket one day and the batsman was playing the ball straight and i was feilding close in about a metre away and i made the mistake of saying to him "Stop playing straight" the very next ball he hit with all his mite and you guess it it hit me square in the groin i fell over and passed out for about a minute and when i came to oh the pain i wasn't able to walk for a couple of hours and it was sore for days

guess in hindsight i guess it was my own fault very funny now but painful then

[Blackbird]

Laughed my head off (sorry). A few years ago, one of our apprentices at work was giving blood and afterwards, sat having a cuppa and he fainted, dropping the hot tea in his crutch and burning his willy. The apprentice training master filled in a fantastic accident report and it was soon all over the company email system!:first:

[MyGSXF]

As a woman who has given birth naturally, twice.. (you'd think I'd learn the FIRST time!:doh:) I understand pain in the nether regions.. :crazy: so your experience HAD to hurt... :whistle: but ferk mate.. your accident report was FERKIN FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :killingme

& yes, really.. your boss should have inspected the damage.. to confirm said incident! (for management's records.. :whistle:) :doctor:

[n0regret5]

took me a god 5 mins to stop laughing enough to type..its hilarious when it happens to someone else but not yourself. one of the mysteries of the world, i guess!!

[McJim]

So are you a professional footballer then? If I filled out a work related accident report about a kick around I would be soooo sacked it's not true.

[banditrider]

i had tears of pain reading that from personal experience

I was playing cricket one day and the batsman was playing the ball straight and i was feilding close in about a metre away and i made the mistake of saying to him "Stop playing straight" the very next ball he hit with all his mite and you guess it it hit me square in the groin i fell over and passed out for about a minute and when i came to oh the pain i wasn't able to walk for a couple of hours and it was sore for days

guess in hindsight i guess it was my own fault very funny now but painful then

How's about a bike-related nad-mashing story?

Crash starting my GSX750 one day and landing on the tank - doh!

[Big Dan]

i can also recall an incident that happen at my work place

one of the females member of staff grabbed a cardboard tube and whacked him in the grion and the end result was that one Testicle had to be removed

[Big Dan]

How's about a bike-related nad-mashing story?

Crash starting my GSX750 one day and landing on the tank - doh!

Considering i don't have a bike yet thats a bit hard


I've got a story about a mates pushbike that ended with pain for me if that counts

[banditrider]

Considering i don't have a bike yet thats a bit hard


I've got a story about a mates pushbike that ended with pain for me if that counts

Everyone's got one about push-bike goulie-crushing - they're dangerous things!

[MIXONE]

How's about a bike-related nad-mashing story?

Crash starting my GSX750 one day and landing on the tank - doh!

How about a jump over the top of a dune at the beach only to land in sand so soft the bike stopped dead.My balls left a dent in the tank and I peed blood for a couple of days.Still managed to produce 4 kids over ensuring years so no permanent damage.:niceone:

No I don't qualify for the Vienna Boys Chior either.

[Big Dan]

Everyone's got one about push-bike goulie-crushing - they're dangerous things!

yeah it hurts when you fall down the back on the back tyre from going down steps wrong and having my testies caught in the break calipers and the trye grazing my sack raw


How about a jump over the top of a dune at the beach only to land in sand so soft the bike stopped dead.My balls left a dent in the tank and I peed blood for a couple of days.Still managed to produce 4 kids over ensuring years so no permanent damage.:niceone:

Good work on the Kids after that effort

My Question is
Is the Bike ok apart from your ball dent

[Dino]

I am indebted to the advice of my old soccer coach who told us that during injuries like this ... "Don't rub 'em, just count 'em"
.)

Loved that quote :lol:

[MIXONE]

[QUOTE=Big Dan;1496165



Good work on the Kids after that effort

My Question is
Is the Bike ok apart from your ball dent[/QUOTE]

The bike was an early 70's TS250 so shit like that didn't faze it too much.No usd forks you see.And the pain was a mere discomfit compared to having my sack soaked in petrol.Now that is real pain.Poor little fella looked like an angry acorn for a while after that(Also pre kids although I didn't feel like testing out the equipment for some time).

[Big Dan]

The bike was an early 70's TS250 so shit like that didn't faze it too much.No usd forks you see.And the pain was a mere discomfit compared to having my sack soaked in petrol.Now that is real pain.Poor little fella looked like an angry acorn for a while after that(Also pre kids although I didn't feel like testing out the equipment for some time).

the list could go on and on about this sort of stuff happening to our bits

I'm suprised the ladies haven't started a thread about painful childbirths - guess the they are tougher















maybe

[Oakie]

So are you a professional footballer then? If I filled out a work related accident report about a kick around I would be soooo sacked it's not true.

It's about the only perk of the job in that industry. I can go and do stuff like that during work time and it's called 'work' because I'm doing an activity with the residents. I've also been known to play cricket and ride my bike (delivering Santa and giving a few residents rides last Xmas) and be paid for it as part of my 'work'. Sweet!

He he. Long story but a few years back I was sent from my workplace at Mount Cook to the airport near my home town of Twizel (65 kilometres?) to wait for a plane to take something out. The plane was delayed by an hour so I went home to visit Mrs Oakie while I waited. My employers would be shocked if they knew what they paid for during part of that hour at home. :devil2:

[Oakie]

i had tears of pain reading that from personal experience

I was playing cricket one day and the batsman was playing the ball straight and i was feilding close in about a metre away and i made the mistake of saying to him "Stop playing straight" the very next ball he hit with all his mite and you guess it it hit me square in the groin i fell over and passed out for about a minute and when i came to oh the pain i wasn't able to walk for a couple of hours and it was sore for days

guess in hindsight i guess it was my own fault very funny now but painful then

Yes we had one of those in our team this year. Guy went down to field a ball pushed into the covers but it bounced up at knocked him in the nuts. Went down like a sack of potatoes and slowed him down for a couple of overs. Everyone thought it was as funnny as hell.

[Patrick]

the list could go on and on about this sort of stuff happening to our bits

I'm suprised the ladies haven't started a thread about painful childbirths - guess the they are tougher















maybe


But there lies the answer... You dont see Big Dan saying, "I think I will let my balls get caught up in the brake callipers and my sack rubbed raw from the tyre, again..."

[Edbear]

But there lies the answer... You dont see Big Dan saying, "I think I will let my balls get caught up in the brake callipers and my sack rubbed raw from the tyre, again..."


Zegackly! It's only taken two short years for my eldest daughter to say she wants another! What she went through with her first, and our first grandson, would put me off forever!!!!

[Fub@r]

My work related "nut" incident:

Worked in forestry when I was at Uni measuring trees to estimate wood volumes before harvesting. Was down in Athenree forest, middle of summer and was measuring some trees and noticed a large amount of wasps around.

So we tried to get what we had to do done as quickly as possible to get away from them. Next thing I know I feel this buring sensation in my groin and then a sickly feeling in my gut. Put the hand in the pants and pulled out a wasp which had just stung me in the balls.

Crouched over in pain I hobbled out to the road. My offsider radioed my boss who came flying down the road and slid to a halt beside me. Jumps out of the ute races to the back door and pulls out a machete. Then tells me to flop it out! :(

Ended up having 3 days off work. Evenings at the pub were good due to the swelling :)