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View Full Version : My wife just about hands me my arse!



Sully60
2nd April 2008, 14:25
Sunday was a fair old grey day in Wellington. The previous nights Westerly driven rain had changed to a lighter drizzle with a Southerly that didn’t have enough puff to blow the rain away.
It was going to be a wet race day for the first round of the SCS Buckets and Motard series for 2008 and coming back as the defending champion I was keen to get the best possible start to this year’s campaign.

It was time to throw on the full wets, now normally I wouldn’t bother going to this extent for the bucket but I needed to capitalise on any advantages have so using wets would give me the ability to push hard in the doubtful conditions.

So after sweating out most of the previous nights and earlier mornings excesses changing tyres it was time to pack up and head off to the Slipway with Number One in tow. I get to the track and get into the routine of shifting all the tyres and laying out the track. All the rain has filled the tyres to capacity and the first one I shift empties it’s contents into the top of my unlaced hi top shoe. Great! Wet feet at the start of the day and many more tyres to shift, this has been a great day so far.

Track done and it’s time to unload and suit up. I get Number One away out on the ‘sled and mix up some fresh fuel for the 50 which I haven’t ridden since September when it repeatedly put me on my ear for detuning it. Who said jappas don’t have character? So with new front tyre and detuning mods reversed I make my way out to see how the little beastie would go and follow Number One to see how she was going.

Things all seem well and then we swap bikes. Damn the ‘sled is not running at all well, it’s almost like the engine is only firing intermittently and is basically unrideable. I pull back into the pits and go over all the wiring connectors. Nothing’s obviously wrong but with so much water about I dried everything of and reconnect every plug in the ignition system, all four of them, phew!
A test ride down the strip confirms all is well and it’s back out for some more practice.

Out on track the surface is still quite wet with some puddles, while the race line doesn’t have standing water it’s still well moist so it’s time to feel out what the grip is like. The first thing I notice is how alive the ‘sled feels with wet tyres. The big tread blocks move around quite a bit which is a little disconcerting especially as that’s extactly how my head was feeling as well.

So after going around and round for a while I figured out there was actually heaps of grip (following mudboy and watching him pitch his RG straight over onto his knee on road tyres kinda made that clear) and stated to push harder and finally managed to get into a bit of a rhythm.

Race time! We started with a fun race and as Number One had the stones to enter the open bucket class I suggested she should ride the sled and I’d ride the 50.
We line up together on the second row of the grid and as the flag drops and away we go. My lady gets the jump on me at the start and I managed to tuck in behind her for about a metre as she’s used the superior horsepower of the ‘sled to drag me off well and truly to the first turn. I hold station for about five laps unable to make a pass, I would’ve tried harder and put a “move” on if it was anyone else but carving up my wife in a dangerous fashion wouldn’t have gone down well (well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it :bleh: )

At this stage I find that without being able to make the most of my small advantage in corner speed she’s gradually getting away from me, I’m actually starting to contemplate the fact that she’s going to beat me and the consequences of that when I see her pull off to the side of the track as the ‘sled has stopped. I stop to see what has happened which effectively ends the fun race for us both with a DNF. Phew, I never thought I’d be happy with any DNF but if it means avoiding getting my arse handed to me by my wife in her first ever race and all the ribbing that would go along with it then I’ll take it!

So all the play racing is put aside and it’s time for the pugilists to engage in the bitter struggle for cherished first championship points. Conditions have stayed much the same over the course of the afternoon so I was confident of doing well.

I line up on the front row this time astride the ‘sled. It’s serious this time and no ladies in leathers are going to temper my aggression this time!
The starter pisses around with the flag drop creating even more tension and causing a few people to back paddle.
We finally get the flag, I make a good start and after the short straight make it onto the inside line in third and hold my place from the exit to the first chicane.

Bayden has gotten his usual demon start and has managed to head off Richban on the mad Vespa to get the holeshot. The first lap is relatively incident free but on the second Bayden goes to the outside of a back marker and Richban takes advantage and dives to the inside line to take the lead.

I can already see the Vespa is going to be hard to catch and put my head down and try to run some clean laps following Bayden.
That idea goes out the window when Baydens bike splutters to a stop exiting the bottom corner. That was one of the easiest passes I’ve ever managed to put on Bayden, he’s normally a wide man from way back!

So with just the Vespa to catch and some relatively clear take I set about trying to reel him in. The amount of slower riders on the track means we come up on backmarkers fairly regularly and while I’m getting through them with little trouble I’m not making any ground on the scooter. I have to settle with second for the first race. Not too unhappy but concerned that even with some better breaks I’m going to struggle to beat that scooter in the second race.

So after the normal half day track direction reversal and the subsequent practice sessions and learner race in between (which my lady was :first: :love: ) we lined up again for the second points race. A slightly better start this time but still third into the first corner again behind Richban and Bayden who’s got the holeshot again. At the end of lap one I manage a very late braking manoeuvre which causes some serious chirping from the front tyre and get past Richban with the big block pass. I get the bike stood up and gas up early on the exit only to see Bayden freewheeling with his chain dragging on the ground, gee that was even easier than the first pass!

I get my head down and put in a couple of good laps, everything seems to be going well but I know I can’t make any mistakes or ride too defensively or that scooter will get past. This works out the way I want it until we get to the back markers.

Heading into the top corner I’m coming up very quickly on Koba riding the pit bike, a little too quickly at the entrance of the corner which meant I’ve ended up with my front wheel just outside his rear wheel so now I’m relying on him to keep a tight line to not open the inside. He can’t get the bike to turn and I have to ride around the outside of him which allows Richban to take the inside line and beat me to the exit of the corner, disaster!

I put my head down and try really hard for the remaining laps and despite some luck with the backmarkers (Richban passed Number One, Mrs Kendog, Str8jacket and the CT110 on the entrance to one corner and I did the same thing from five length back :shit: :crazy: ) I just cannot quite make up for the deficit in power and finish the race in second again.

So not a bad start to my title defence in the end, not perfect but I’ll take it.
This season is going to be tough as Baydens bike is very fast when it goes and Richbans confidence is riding high after handing all the Auckland scooter racers the learn at Taumaranui. Two of last season’s race winners did not attend either so are going to be on the back foot from the start but it’s a long season and a lot can happen.

Keep watching this space for my next report from round 2!

Ivan
2nd April 2008, 15:36
Good stuff Craig

I might have to get me a bucket again

sugilite
2nd April 2008, 16:00
Great report dude! My wife would hand me my arse too, if she could find it! :lol:

ajturbo
2nd April 2008, 16:01
sooo what you are saying is..

that mudboy (2nd year of racing)... gave YOU the learn!!!:Punk:

Sully60
2nd April 2008, 16:34
sooo what you are saying is..

that mudboy (2nd year of racing)... gave YOU the learn!!!:Punk:

Yep.

Well if I wanted to be all defensive it would be that I took the learn from him, he didn't give it to me:oi-grr:

Just like the when I followed Richban on the Vespa into the bottom corner thinking he's going quick this time I'd better try to keep up.

I then had a huge two wheel slide in exactly same place as he did just in front of me!:eek5:

I learned that was about as fast as both Richban and I could go;)

Fatjim
2nd April 2008, 16:52
My initial thought on reading the heading that her hands aren't that big?

Trudes
2nd April 2008, 17:00
Nice going Mr. Sully, enjoyed riding along behind you for a few seconds, and luckily I can normally hear you coming and get out of your way a bit (Then try and block the guys chasing you... opps, did I just say that?:shutup:):laugh: Loved the "knee down" action too (and the arse slapping :spanking: haha).

Number One
3rd April 2008, 08:25
Damn!!! Didn't realise I was that close to kicking your ass in my FIRST race ever!

Did you perhaps *sabotage* the sled huney :buggerd:

Number One
3rd April 2008, 08:25
Oh AND BUMP!

koba
3rd April 2008, 09:24
Great report!

Number One
4th April 2008, 08:58
Btw - You have a braw erse too so I wouldn't be handing it to you I'd be keeping it :love:

Str8 Jacket
4th April 2008, 08:58
Btw - You have a braw erse too so I wouldn't be handing it to you I'd be keeping it :love:

Oi! You best be NOT talking to MY man there bitch.

Number One
4th April 2008, 09:02
Oi! You best be NOT talking to MY man there bitch.

I was referring to the title of the thread but he has a nice erse too and no I wouldn't keep it, I'd hand it over to you...where it belongs :sunny:

Str8 Jacket
4th April 2008, 09:05
I was referring to the title of the thread but he has a nice erse too and no I wouldn't keep it, I'd hand it over to you...where it belongs :sunny:

Well that's OK then!

Sully60
4th April 2008, 09:32
It's my arse ok!

She didn't get anywhere near it on Sunday (well not when you lot were watching anyway ;) )

But it is nice to have my arse talked about and argued over.

Might just have to post a picture on the arse thread now so everyone can get a piece of it!

Number One
4th April 2008, 09:34
THIS calls for a photo shoot!!!!

Tonight we will buff, shave and photgraph it :2thumbsup

koba
4th April 2008, 09:39
you nutcase people scare me sometimes

Str8 Jacket
4th April 2008, 09:41
you nutcase people scare me sometimes

JTFC! HTFU!

Number One
4th April 2008, 09:42
Sorry Str8 I think I should have added Giggidy giggidy to my last post :wari:

Str8 Jacket
4th April 2008, 09:44
Sorry Str8 I think I should have added Giggidy giggidy to my last post :wari:

See, now all is right with the world!

Sully60
4th April 2008, 09:44
Sorry Str8 I think I should have added Giggidy giggidy to my last post :wari:

That's it!
No excuses from you tonight then dear:blip:

Number One
4th April 2008, 09:46
I am remaking the bed and placing fluffy pillows as we type my love :blip:



PS: unrelated note - have kept Sully One home...he is being all loving and snuggly so I am just enjoying his company on my first friday off work.


OOOOOO did I mention I no longer work FRIDAYS everybody :bleh::bleh::bleh:

Str8 Jacket
4th April 2008, 09:50
suddenly I dont feel so well!! :puke:

Number One
4th April 2008, 09:55
I'll have you know it's actually a damn attractive picture. Tell ya what we'll film things and you can see for yourself :pinch:


Just kidding - you couldn't afford to see the screening of that premier :rolleyes::devil2:

Sully60
4th April 2008, 09:58
Crikey!

So much for this being a thread about how good I was on Sunday.

Oh well:rolleyes:

Number One
4th April 2008, 10:00
Crikey!

So much for this being a thread about how good I was on Sunday.

Oh well:rolleyes:

Babe you are GOOD every day but even better at NIGHT :2thumbsup :hug:

Str8 Jacket
4th April 2008, 10:00
Crikey!

So much for this being a thread about how good I was on Sunday.

Oh well:rolleyes:

Just as long as we dont get a thread tomorrow about how good you were today! :crazy:

Number One
4th April 2008, 10:01
Just as long as we dont get a thread tomorrow about how good you were today! :crazy:

hmmmmmmm that gives me an idea:rolleyes:

Geez is KB this slow today. Time for a shower me thinks.

Trudes
4th April 2008, 20:11
Ok, one question....

































Where the fook are the promised arses.... come on people, some of us have spent two days discussing the Treaty and I need some ARSE!!!!!

Slingshot
4th April 2008, 20:13
THIS calls for a photo shoot!!!!

Tonight we will buff, shave and photgraph it :2thumbsup

Don't forget the bleach :cool:

Trudes
4th April 2008, 20:31
Don't forget the bleach :cool:

Yeah, it may be stained after a week eh.:msn-wink:

koba
4th April 2008, 21:01
Yeah, it may be stained after a week eh.:msn-wink:

so this bleaching carry on is not just a once off thing and needs to be "retouched"?!?!

Trudes
4th April 2008, 21:02
so this bleaching carry on is not just a once off thing and needs to be "retouched"?!?!

Just like roots....... so I've been told.:pinch:

ajturbo
4th April 2008, 21:06
Ok, one question....

































Where the fook are the promised arses.... come on people, some of us have spent two days discussing the Treaty and I need some ARSE!!!!!

ok... you asked and i give:banana:

quallman1234
4th April 2008, 21:10
Im definetely not opening that document.

Trudes
4th April 2008, 21:11
ok... you asked and i give:banana:

hahahahaha, ok, I don't know if I really want to ask, but, what the hell are you and Colapop doing with your pants down at the same time? Is that like KB Brokeback??? but hey, thanks, that's almost taken my mind completely off the Treaty.:spanking:

Trudes
4th April 2008, 21:12
Im definetely not opening that document.

yeah, nah, i wouldn't if i were you. (you already did, didn't ya?)

koba
4th April 2008, 21:14
What the fuck are all us losers doing talking about arses and bleached bumholes on the internet, in someones race report thread on a friday night!?!?:wacko:

Trudes
4th April 2008, 21:18
It's the race to get your arse hole bleached, last one is definitely the loser.:buggerd:

quallman1234
4th April 2008, 21:23
yeah, nah, i wouldn't if i were you. (you already did, didn't ya?)

Thank god i don't have word installed.

koba
4th April 2008, 21:29
Thank god i don't have word installed.

aye! You and me both.

ajturbo
5th April 2008, 07:18
ok will this doo then!!!:argue:

oh.. and i will NOT be doing THAT sort of thing around col......
i am just not that brave!!!...(read silly)

Number One
5th April 2008, 08:22
Why why why....Delilah I mean AJ :crybaby: