When insults had class

[Sully60]

These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was
still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to
4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.



The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my
husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink
it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the
gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said
Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -
Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston
Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading
it." Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar
Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend.... If you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... If there is
one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -
Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -
Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -
Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." - Jack E.
Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -
Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather
than illumination." - Andrew Lang (18 44-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening But this wasn't it." - Groucho
Marx

[BiK3RChiK]

Hahaha, Love it! I'd give you some lurv but I gotta spread it around!

[007XX]

Same here...I've given too much attention to you already mate! :innocent:


Love those though...well done!

[Edbear]

Hahaha, Love it! I'd give you some lurv but I gotta spread it around!


Same here...I've given too much attention to you already mate! :innocent:


Love those though...well done!


Well, it might not seem quite the same coming from me, but I've blinged him on your behalf...:done:

[Trudes]

Sully's collecting love (bling) like it's going out of fashion, I can't bling you again either.:msn-wink:


Anyway, that's all very nice, but I still prefer "Fuck you, get fucked and fuck off", less words and just as effective.:bleh:

[Edbear]

Sully's collecting love (bling) like it's going out of fashion, I can't bling you again either.:msn-wink:


Anyway, that's all very nice, but I still prefer "Fuck you, get fucked and fuck off", less words and just as effective.:bleh:


No, no, no! If you use one of the above, the recipient will pause with a slightly confused look and while they are trying to work out if you were insulting them or complimenting them, you can smile and walk away with a superior air...:cool:

[Trudes]

No, no, no! If you use one of the above, the recipient will pause with a slightly confused look and while they are trying to work out if you were insulting them or complimenting them, you can smile and walk away with a superior air...:cool:

hehe, this is true! But it would take me 2 minutes to think of the right one for the situation and another 2 minutes to say it right, in that time they've probably walked off thinking they're superior because I stood there for 2 minutes with a gormless look on my face then mumbled and stumbled with saying something..... or I could say "fuck you, you mother flippin'" and walk away (or run, depending on the situation.):laugh:

[Edbear]

hehe, this is true! But it would take me 2 minutes to think of the right one for the situation and another 2 minutes to say it right, in that time they've probably walked off thinking they're superior because I stood there for 2 minutes with a gormless look on my face then mumbled and stumbled with saying something..... or I could say "fuck you, you mother flippin'" and walk away (or run, depending on the situation.):laugh:


LOL!!! Yeah, I think we really need a training course in witty insults, so that we're ready and loaded when the "opportunity" arises...

[Trudes]

LOL!!! Yeah, I think we really need a training course in witty insults, so that we're ready and loaded when the "opportunity" arises...

Sounds good, I'd sign up!

[Sully60]

No, no, no! If you use one of the above, the recipient will pause with a slightly confused look and while they are trying to work out if you were insulting them or complimenting them, you can smile and walk away with a superior air...:cool:

The best kind of insult!

Like a time delay fuse set on a bomb planted by the slinky cat burglar who winks seductively at the security guard as she exits the building she's just robbed.

The look on the guards face says it all when the building falls down around him.

Mwah hahahahahaha!

[Morcs]

I still think calling someone a Cunt, or a fucking cocksucker is more effective, as generally, the people who i give intelligent insults to, arent intelligent enough to get them, and therefore there is no satisfaction in the reaction, except that they are stoopid.

[Swoop]

LOL!!! Yeah, I think we really need a training course in witty insults, so that we're ready and loaded when the "opportunity" arises...

http://www.quotationspage.com/ would be a good starting point.

[Sully60]

mother flippin'


WORD!

10 char

[007XX]

Well, it might not seem quite the same coming from me, but I've blinged him on your behalf...:done:

Aaawww...what a sweety! :hug: Now, put your back into it, like we girls would! :innocent:


Anyway, that's all very nice, but I still prefer "Fuck you, get fucked and fuck off", less words and just as effective.:bleh:

My insults tends to vary based on the intelligence of the person it is directed to...no point being too subtle if it is lost on a neanderthal, what's the fun in that blank look they get?

Edit: Oh my lord...I just read Morcs' post, and we are of similar opinions...I think this may be a sign of the end for me! :laugh: :crazy:

[BiK3RChiK]

Now, put your back into it, like we girls would! :innocent:


Comeback! Ahh, I love it! :rofl:

[Number One]

Sully's collecting love (bling) like it's going out of fashion, I can't bling you again either.:msn-wink:

I reckon! He was on it all bloody day too - wouldn't catch me doing that :msn-wink:


Anyway, that's all very nice, but I still prefer "Fuck you, get fucked and fuck off", less words and just as effective.:bleh:

Too fucking right I also like:
Fuck right off!
Fuck me?!
For Fuck Sake!
Fuck me Days!
and other fun but tacky and organic offensive variations.

I'm also a fan of plain old BITCH! and if very very very very riled up or passionately PHUCKED ORF I have been known to use the C word.

Someone told me the other day that she tells her brother to "Foxtrot Oscar"...oooooo I told her though I was impressed at her knowledge of the phonetic alphabet I much preferred simple old Fuck Off.

[deanohit]

Haha, I find peoples expressions classic when you say "F Y Y F F!"
Then you explain it means "Fuck You You Fucken Fuck!"

[TerminalAddict]

own the domain name

http://fuckyouyoufuckingfuck.co.nz

;)

I'm such a winner <_<

[Trudes]

Favourites around here are, "Argh for fucken fucks sake" "Fuck a duck!!" "Piss c&%t mother fuck wank shit" "Do you see the look of give a fuck on my face?"
Noooo, we don't swear!! Thank god we don't have a swear jar, or children!!:no:

[Str8 Jacket]

Thank god we don't have a swear jar, or children!!:no:

Thank fucking christ!!! I could just imagine the poor wee Kenpuppy now! :lol:

[Trudes]

I'm also a fan of plain old BITCH! and if very very very very riled up or passionately PUCKED ORF I have been known to use the C word.



Yep, I don't often use that word, but some people are just right C*@ts eh!

Hey btw #1, I keep reading your user title: "Deep down, I'm quite shallow" and keep reading it as "Deep down I quite like to Swallow":yes::shit:

[TerminalAddict]

"Deep down, I'm quite shallow" and keep reading it as "Deep down I quite like to Swallow"

errrr ... something on yer mind? ... :shit:

[Sully60]

"Deep down I quite like to Swallow":yes:

:shifty:....................

[Trudes]

errrr ... something on yer mind? ... :shit:

hehehe, maybe the "cuddles" with ms Number one tomorrow night :blip:

[Sully60]

hehehe, maybe the "cuddles" with ms Number one tomorrow night :blip:



Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs Kendog
"Deep down I quite like to Swallow"

:shifty:....................

:shifty: :shifty:..........................................

[ajturbo]

These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was
still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to
4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.



The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my
husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink
it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the
gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said
Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -
Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston
Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -
Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading
it." Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar
Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend.... If you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... If there is
one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -
Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -
Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -
Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." - Jack E.
Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." - Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -
Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather
than illumination." - Andrew Lang (18 44-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening But this wasn't it." - Groucho
Marx
wank on.....

[Kendog]

"Deep down I quite like to Swallow":yes::shit:
:tugger::wait::tugger::wait::tugger::woohoo:


hehehe, maybe the "cuddles" with ms Number one tomorrow night :blip:

:niceone:

[Number One]

Nice signature Mr Kendog.

as for cuddles can we take turns to swallow:banana::lol::buggerd:

[Trudes]

Nice signature Mr Kendog.

as for cuddles can we take turns to swallow:banana::lol::buggerd:

OMG all round :o banana swallowing competitions??:banana::wari:

[Kendog]

I could get really carried away with banana comments.........

[Trudes]

I could get really carried away with banana comments.........

Just put it back in the fruit bowl baby.

[Number One]

Nigel nigel nigel - is that a banana in your hand or are you just really happy to see me.

[Kendog]

Nigel nigel nigel - is that a banana in your hand or are you just really happy to see me.

Always happy to see you :banana:

[MIXONE]

Nice signature Mr Kendog.

as for cuddles can we take turns to swallow:banana::lol::buggerd:

Is this a private show or can we buy tickets at the door?:devil2:

[Trudes]

Refer to Post # 1......

[Number One]

Is this a private show or can we buy tickets at the door?:devil2:

hmmmmm - how much those tickets worth to ya sunshine? :eek:

[MIXONE]

Jack Daniel's motto

"All Goods Worth Prices Charged":rolleyes:

[Number One]

Jack Daniel's motto

"All Goods Worth Prices Charged":rolleyes:

In that case you couldn't afford a ticket mate :devil2::rolleyes:

[Trudes]

In that case you couldn't afford a ticket mate :devil2::rolleyes:

:bleh::niceone::devil2:
See, that's about the extent of my witty insults..... as I said, Fuck off is so much easier.

[MIXONE]

In that case you couldn't afford a ticket mate :devil2::rolleyes:

BUGGER another fantasy shattered.:weep::cry::baby:

[Number One]

BUGGER another fantasy shattered.:weep::cry::baby:

awww sorry sir....but I assure you the fantasy was probably prettier than the reality would be....:whistle:

Talking about myself here Trudes!

[Fatjim]

Where else in the world can you start a thread and you wife and mates wife are suddenly talking about some good old lesbian action in no time.

I Love KB, and you Welly ladies as well of course.

[Number One]

Where else in the world can you start a thread and you wife and mates wife are suddenly talking about some good old lesbian action in no time.

I Love KB, and you Welly ladies as well of course.

come ere BIG BOY :devil2:

[Number One]

LADY LURVE......:devil2::devil2::devil2:

Hey Trudes...I got my BUSINESS SOCKS ON TOOO! :buggerd:

[Trudes]

Ahhh, sweet, I've sorted the recycling, I know that's not part of it, but it's still very important.:banana:

We love you too Fatjim.