Help: Contract for parents and teenagers

[CookMySock]

I need some help with this.

I got a 14 yearold young fella, turning 15 next month. Like you I expect, I am keen to have him ride a bike on the road. Also like you, I expect, I cannot face the likelyhood of him getting killed or seriously injured. He IS a responsible chap, but the rules on this must be made clear, and consequences agreed upon.

Yesterday, I see some 15 y/o boy killed on the road, and this isn't going to happen on my watch.

So some agreement has to be reached regarding behaviour on the bike, where and how it will be used, and the law etc.

Has anyone actually drawn up a written contract between them and their kid ? If so, can I see a copy ?

If not, can this thread be a starting point for such a document ? It shouldn't insult his intelligence or threaten him - more it should be an agreement between all parties, outlining the real reasons for the need for such a thing.

If you disagree with me fundamentally on this, please PM me or post elsewhere, rather than ranting and splintering this thread. ta.

Many thanks,
Steve

[ArcherWC]

Hmmm I am in exactly the same boat, this will be interesting to see

[Katman]

Make him sit down and read all my posts.:msn-wink:

(Well - maybe not all of them).

[Big Dave]

IMO It won't work.

You have to give him the best advice, make aware of the implications and danger, let him decide for himself if he wants to ride or not - not just because 'you'd like to see it' - and then let him live his own life.

If he's not ready for it then don't come up with the $.

[ArcherWC]

Make him sit down and read all my posts.:msn-wink:

(Well - maybe not all of them).
I would rather he had a balanced aproach to riding thank you.
I will be putting him on the track for sure.

[JimO]

i am in your boat in fact im rowing out to sea in it my almost 16 year old twins both are riding on their learners both are good level headed and responsible boys and arnt stupid they know the risks and have had all the lectures but it didnt stop one of them being bowled by a old geezer going through a comp stop, if they respect you they will respect your wishes regarding their riding

[DMNTD]

Hmmm I am in exactly the same boat, this will be interesting to see
I believe that the boat is becoming quite full then. My soon to be 15y/o Daughter (un)fortunately wants to ride bikes like her dad. Gives me the shits tbh...double standards??
However she has also seen me a bit broken after a couple of accidents last year so knows how dangerous it can be so a reality check has already been instilled in her.
Re a contract though....well I have told her that if she was ever spotted riding or driving in a stupid way that all privileges would be removed immediately and not just driving/riding ones too.
Support has to be the best approach and sometimes it can be better coming from a non parent.

[yungatart]

hXc started riding on the road a couple of days after his 15th birthday. We told him what we expected of him as far as his behaviour was concerned and the consequences for dickhead behavoiur were the loss of his bike for a time, dependent on the offence.
Mstrs did lots of rides with him and he was encouraged to ride with the HB KB group where he was mentored and kept an eye on. Those guys are good role models.
We had no formal written contract with him and we have had few, if any, problems.
My advice, FWIW, is to talk to your young fella lots, make clear your expectations, have logical consequences for breaking the rules (and follow through with them if you have to), ride with him as much as you can and be a good role model. it is lots of fun riding with your kids and can be great for your relationship.
Good luck to both of you.

[PrincessBandit]

We haven't drawn up a contract with Ripper Roo92 regarding the motorbike (have done about chores and suchlike before, but that's a tad off-topic here!). I ride with him a lot, mainly him behind me to watch and learn; but lately I've started letting him lead so that I can observe his initiative. I make periodic stops to discuss things I've noticed with him so that it's relatively fresh in his mind. He has made a couple of dodgy moves which we've had big talks about, without me erupting (like I wanted to!!). He responds well to personal interaction, but tends to "forget" what's in a contract :whistle: if previous ones are anything to go by.

[yungatart]

BTW, DMNTD and DB, we have a perfect learner bike here in the form of hXc's trusty Spada. It is for sale to a good home....PM me for details...

[Coyote]

Get him on the race track so any desire to go fast will be released there.

Worked for me. And now I'm not able to race, I've sped up on the road...

[Bikernereid]

I think it is an excellent idea. I have done a similar thing in another situation and both parties drafted thier own contract before presenting it to the other party. A discussion followed whereby each person explained the rationale for each item and the other party could then reply.

If you allow your son the opportunity to participate on an equal footing I think that you will show him that you respect him and that you believe he is sensible enough to realise what the consequences of his actions may be. By doing this hopefully he will take the task seriously and will respect what you have to suggest as well and may be more willing to reach an agreement with you as to when he rides his bike etc.

Hope all goes well, wish this had happened with ym mother instead of her banning me out right and me resenting and hating her for it for years.

[blacksheep]

We haven't drawn up a contract with Ripper Roo92 regarding the motorbike (have done about chores and suchlike before, but that's a tad off-topic here!). I ride with him a lot, mainly him behind me to watch and learn; but lately I've started letting him lead so that I can observe his initiative. I make periodic stops to discuss things I've noticed with him so that it's relatively fresh in his mind. He has made a couple of dodgy moves which we've had big talks about, without me erupting (like I wanted to!!). He responds well to personal interaction, but tends to "forget" what's in a contract :whistle: if previous ones are anything to go by.

i've found that doing exactly what you have done with my two boys has taught them a lot more than just letting them go out by themselves and learning the hard way,at the end of the day however its up to them,you can't keep your eye on them forever and there has to be a level of trust by both parties to gain mutual respect:sunny:

[scracha]

I believe that the boat is becoming quite full then. My soon to be 15y/o Daughter (un)fortunately wants to ride bikes like her dad. Gives me the shits tbh...double standards??
However she has also seen me a bit broken after a couple of accidents last year so knows how dangerous it can be so a reality check has already been instilled in her.
Re a contract though....well I have told her that if she was ever spotted riding or driving in a stupid way that all privileges would be removed immediately and not just driving/riding ones too.
Support has to be the best approach and sometimes it can be better coming from a non parent.

Tell her to wait till she's 16 Chris. There'll be kiwibikers queuing up to give her riding lessons.. GD&RFC

[Number One]

Make him sit down and read all my posts.:msn-wink:

Insert Tui ad here :msn-wink:

[Number One]

Tell her to wait till she's 16 Chris. There'll be kiwibikers queuing up to give her riding lessons.. GD&RFC

Hee hee!!!

Tell her to watch out for that charming (but possibly dodgy) scotsman too :2thumbsup

[CookMySock]

ok lots and lots of support here. I'm stoked. All good comments - too many to reply to individually. Will read and digest.

DB

[Drew]

Nothing will ensure thier safety more than being capable on the bike.

How to teach it is the biggest hurdle, I'll be trying to keep my kids interest by combining common sense lessons and cool shit lessons, because the cool shit teaches what I think to be valuable control as well.

I remember only once riding with my father, so not sure what it was that kept me alive on the road..luck I guess when I look at how we rode back then.

[MSTRS]

I don't think that a written contract will be of any use.
You are best to simply be supportive, be a mentor, and make it clear that good behaviour is it's own reward and bad behaviour begets 'consequences'.

[Drew]

and make it clear that good behaviour is it's own reward and bad behaviour begets 'consequences'. Something kids should have learnt well before getting a motor vehical.


be a mentorI wonder about this, because all kids fight thier parents on a lot of things. If a different person was used as said mentor, young ones would perhaps be more inclined to want to be like them.

[Jorja]

My oldest has just turned 12 and is always talking about when he is old enough to get his license. It scares the crap out of me.

Have any of the parents on here thought about making there kids do some dirt riding as well? It has helped me learn to control the bike better so my skills on the road have increased.

[MSTRS]

Something kids should have learnt well before getting a motor vehical.

I wonder about this, because all kids fight thier parents on a lot of things. If a different person was used as said mentor, young ones would perhaps be more inclined to want to be like them.

If you've done your parenting job right, yes...but if so, your kid will also respect what you say.

[CookMySock]

[...] all kids fight thier parents on a lot of things. If a different person was used as said mentor, young ones would perhaps be more inclined to want to be like them.Yes and no. Yeah there is always that added thing between family members, but your kids must understand that you are always on their side.

DB

[Coyote]

I'm assuming you're paying for the bike?

There really doesn't need to be a contract. If he's reckless, you'll either never hear about it and nothing can be done or if you do it's your bike and you can take it away to make him learn his lesson.

Don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for my parents getting me into bikes. Always had the fear of it being taken away keeping me from getting into trouble.

[The Pastor]

speeding ticket = los of bike for 1 weekend (friday,sat,sunday)
not telling they got speeding ticket = loss of bike for 2 weekends
doing stunts in stupid places = loss of bike for 2 weekend
being a dick = 1 day to however much you want. (depended on crime)
break of licence restrictions = loss of bike for 1 day to weekend (depenant how anal you wanna be on the time thing, nail him for passengers)

if you can afford it, buy the bike for him, and make sure he knows that its not his, but he has sole responsabilty for it and MUST look after it. this gives you the "right" to sell it if he is a complete dickwad.

rules and bike are his once getting the full + defensive driving cource.

Those are the rules i wished my parents enforced for me, take what you will.

I put weekends as during school days i didnt drive/ride much at all (i was within walking distance to most things) - you can add in weekdays or whatever if you think it will help him to behave on the road.

Have the rules set firm, but don't be nazi about enforcement, strict but fair.

[Coyote]

Have any of the parents on here thought about making there kids do some dirt riding as well? It has helped me learn to control the bike better so my skills on the road have increased.
My brother and I started riding on the dirt when I was 13 and he was 11. We had an old TL125, a new CRF150, and a couple of months later we got a old KX80. It's definitely a good place to start. You learn all the basic controls away from traffic and you learn how to deal with rougher terrain.

4 stroke, air cooled bikes are the best way to start. The 80 was awesome and a good bike to get, but it took some getting used to since we hadn't mastered all the basics yet so it was good still having the 150. The TL we outgrew quickly.

[scracha]

Let them buy their own bikes, gear and insist on 3rd party insurance. That way they'll be less inclined to crash it.

[CookMySock]

Yeah we will put a fat deposit on the bike, and he can pay it off over a year with part time work. He can't be persuaded to ride a skinny-rake scorpio etc, now that he has seen mums' GT250R. Actually, I don't mind it being expensive and flash, because he will be IMMENSELY proud of it. Aint no way anyone else will ever ride it except mum.

renegade master, The consequences will be much much greater than those. If I can drive for 40,000 hours and 25 years and not get a ticket of any kind, then he can fucking behave until he is 18. Anything on the road whatsoever that is not well within the "being VERY cool with it" bracket is a no-go. The bike will be part of his lifestyle, and his social circle, but it will emphatically NOT be a part of his skill-extension. Not on the road anyway. Track bike to follow - IF everything remains cool - and it will be MUCH more powerful than a mere 250.

An important part of this, will be me not talking about speed around him, because his eyes light up big time at such grandiose stories. Sigh. Actually, my 13 y/o daughter worries me the most, as she is not only completely invincible, but she also knows better than mum or dad.. owch! Anyway, she lubs me dearly, so maybe she will pull her head in. nah - I doubt it. :crazy:

Whew! kids! They're awesome though.

DB

[Drew]

If you've done your parenting job right, yes...but if so, your kid will also respect what you say.

An even more daunting concern than the meaning of life, have we done a good job raising our kids?

Keeps me up some nights wondering.


Yes and no. Yeah there is always that added thing between family members, but your kids must understand that you are always on their side.

DB

Loads of kids, (I'd say most) dont think you're always on thier side. Wont listen when you explain why they are not allowed to do something.

Come to think of it, it aint just kids:baby:

[CookMySock]

Loads of kids, (I'd say most) dont think you're always on thier side. Wont listen when you explain why they are not allowed to do something. Come to think of it, it aint just kids:baby:Well said. Tell them how you feel, and why, and watch them begin to see. Tell them with a tear in your eye.

DB

[fire eyes]

:hug: I think a contract is a great idea or MOU (Memorandum of Understanding) It could be that this is drawn up initially and operate as a 'living document' which can be altered as your children get older or more experienced. The contract or MOU doesn't have to just be a 'piece of paper' with hollow words, it can be a focal point for on-going discussion when your your not out there on the road .. I feel covering all basis .. on-road/off-road endorses and encourages the parent/child relationship which a clear understanding of each others needs/wants/expectations. Even brainstorming the core text of the document will raise awareness also. Good Luck DB!

[TimeOut]

It can be nerve wrecking but very enjoyable.
My son learnt on a CRF150 it taught him a lot.
Road bikes were the other way round with us, when he bought his ZXR250 my brother and I decided to join him. We have both learnt a lot off each other, it was good when I went in front I could set the pace on the occasions he is in front I have trouble keeping up, now he has ordered a new 6R I think I'll through the towel in and just follow.
Ride together and talk lots it's great.

[slowpoke]

Personally I reckon 15 is way too young to let folks loose on the road. Give the kid a dirt bike to learn some real skills but with todays road traffic conditions 15years old and in charge of a lethal weapon among the general populace is nukkin' futs.
As for the contract thing, I don't get that either. If you can't have a "handshake understanding" with a close family member and you have to put it down on paper then I don't think it says much for your relationship with that person. He/she will know exactly when they have screwed up and you won't have to go pointing at paragraph 3, section a(i) to prove it.
Lastly, reading between the lines, i'm hearing a hell of a lot of do as I say but not as I do type stuff. We'd best be looking at our own riding habits before we go lynching a kid who has done exactly the same as we have done.

[Radar]

Slowpoke makes some good points. All I can add is this: After he gets his bike, sit down with him and view the crash videos on YouTube, and also the motorcycle safety video that you can get free from the (link on the) ACC website. There will be lots to discuss watching those vids.

[CookMySock]

i'm hearing a hell of a lot of do as I say but not as I do type stuff. We'd best be looking at our own riding habits before we go lynching a kid who has done exactly the same as we have done.That is because he's 15 with NO experience AT ALL, and I'm 42 with 25 years of professional driving under my belt. In about three years he will be quite safe, and then I will let him off his leash, until then it's my way or the highway.

No one is lynching anyone - where the fuck did you get that ?

DB

[slowpoke]

That is because he's 15 with NO experience AT ALL, and I'm 42 with 25 years of professional driving under my belt. In about three years he will be quite safe, and then I will let him off his leash, until then it's my way or the highway.

No one is lynching anyone - where the fuck did you get that ?

DB

Haha, in three years he'll be 18 years old...I dunno' 'bout you but "18" and "safe" were mutually exclusive terms when I was growing up.

"Lynching" was just a loose term for "punished'.

[CookMySock]

Haha, in three years he'll be 18 years old...I dunno' 'bout you but "18" and "safe" were mutually exclusive terms when I was growing up.

"Lynching" was just a loose term for "punished'.Yes, in three years he will have at least 20,000 km and many hours of supervised and unsupervised roadcraft up his sleeve. That's all the influence I get to exert.

There is no punishment, fool. I just want to let him know that feel afraid about losing the one thing that I love the most. No, it's not the bike. Maybe you think no one cares about you like this ? Well, you would be wrong. Sharpen up.

But I want him to have this new cool thing. He wants it too. So we need a safe way. Thats all.

DB

[Grub]

ok lots and lots of support here. I'm stoked. All good comments - too many to reply to individually. Will read and digest. DB

I rather liked Yungatart's (& MSTRS) idea of hXc going out with the HB group. There's experienced riders, no hoons :Tui:, but seriously, good riding role models.

I wonder if you can extend that concept a bit and say that for the first 6 months of theior licence, they can ONLY ride the bike on rides with you or the group? In that time they would learn good roadcraft as well as smarts about how stupid everyone else on the road is.

My 15yr old cousin was killed in Glen Eden one night "... just going down the road to his mates place ...". He was less that a kilometre from home, in the dark, down on the tank (probably blowing out some cobwebs) .... when he ran into the tray of a parked truck. Police wouldn't let them identify or view the body.

If he had been able to get some serious mileage in with others, maybe it wouldn't have happened.

[CookMySock]

Grub, yeah some good ideas there. Yes we plan to sit on his tail and release him carefully in stages, making sure he has everything cool, step-by-step. If he's out after dark, we'll escort him home, or pick him up in the car.

Really sorry to hear about your cousin, thats terrible. "Down on the tank - blowing out cobwebs" going really fast do you mean ? Ohhhh shit. I would sell his bike the FIRST time I found him doing that. I bet his parents wish they did. Am I wrong ? I'm not wrong am I..


DB

[helenoftroy]

IMO It won't work.

You have to give him the best advice, make aware of the implications and danger, let him decide for himself if he wants to ride or not - not just because 'you'd like to see it' - and then let him live his own life.

If he's not ready for it then don't come up with the $.

Agree with you:2thumbsup

My youngest had been riding offroad since 14,and got his license on the old XL200R at 15....but he REALLY REALLY wanted a road bike:calm:

I ignored him for a long time cause Id only ever had trail/adventure bikes:Pokey:

6 months ago(Sams 17yrs now) we got chance to buy a tidy wee CBR250R,the grin hasnt left Casualtys face and I have a roadbike too.Impressed at his maturity and skills

Life is good:scooter:

[Nasty]

I have read the whole thread DB ... it makes interesting reading ... heard about Grubs cousin for the first time and I have lived with him for 13 odd years! I don't have kids ... but hear are my thoughts from a different angle.

The most dangerous thing on the road is other people. The teenager killed this week in Palmy was hit by a car .. it is partially the "I didn't see you" thing ... and the "white van man" .... the absolute best thing that I did when working towards my license was do a defensive driving course. I had been driving for ten years, but after that course the Grub was really impressed with my improvement in driving and riding.

Send the lad on some of the motorcycle courses available in the area ... even take him elsewhere if you need to .. but really help him understand that he may do stupid things, but its the dumber things that others also do that may kill him.

[ajturbo]

got luke into bucket racing...
he now knows bike control things...(so he says)
even giving him a ride on the buell... with me on the back...
that was an eye opener for him... ( a bike with power...)
i try and tell himm about the 2sec rule... oil patches... men in white vans, when to perv and when .. to perv..

and WHEN he falls off... he will have the right gear on!!!!

[slowpoke]

Yes, in three years he will have at least 20,000 km and many hours of supervised and unsupervised roadcraft up his sleeve. That's all the influence I get to exert.

There is no punishment, fool. I just want to let him know that feel afraid about losing the one thing that I love the most. No, it's not the bike. Maybe you think no one cares about you like this ? Well, you would be wrong. Sharpen up.

But I want him to have this new cool thing. He wants it too. So we need a safe way. Thats all.

DB

Haha, good luck with it all, you'll be needing it if you talk to him the same way you talk on here. Fostering frank and open discussion? Yeah right....

Edit:
If you disagree with me fundamentally on this, please PM me or post elsewhere, rather than ranting and splintering this thread. ta.

I think you may be operating under a misapprehension as to what is or is not a "forum". Most definitions use the words "open" and/or "public" and "discussion".

If you want to air your views with no thought of contradiction or exchange of ideas then maybe a Blog would be a better format.

[Nagash]

Interesting perspective i'm seeing here..

I got my license at 15 and on the day I got it I was someone afraid of going on the road. I had practiced heaps in a car park before hand so knew the basic controls of my bike.. just on the road it's a big difference.

My Dad just said go for a ride to the dairy, 20 metres down the road there were road works and I absolutely stuffed it, made many other mistakes aswell all by myself. I learned to learn very quickly..

Every time I had an Oh Shit! Moment or binned i'd tell my Dad about it and he'd discuss it with me and my technique and what I could change but he's been real free on my riding. He knows when i go open road riding with mates that I like to hoon it a wee bit but he's a big believer of personal responsibility. Or he doesn't love me... :crybaby:

[skidMark]

Ok at the request of dangerous bastard he wanted me to post my PM to him here...

These are freak accidents that do happen.

He need to be responsible. and to start with do not let him take it to and from school only on weekend putters around town with you.

A new rider, let alone a young one is at high risk, especially if he was going to and from school...

all the parents picking thier kids up, distracted by kids etc rushing home to make dinner, they don't look for bikes, just make sure he truely realises that they do not see him, fingers always covering the brake lever etc etc.

i would reccomend a hyosung like yours to be honest, the zxr's like mine are starting to have problems.

hyosung would be very good, dont touch gn 250s as they are stopping importing them, and the newer chinese ones are of poor build quility anyway.

best bet is fxr150 if on a lower budget.

dont get something too pretty shiney because it will get dropped. and not too flash or kids at school (when he starts taking it there) will possibly get jealous and stuff it.

hope some of that helps from somebody around his age, ive added ya on msn anyways, so anything else just ask.

Take care: Skid.

[Skyryder]

IMO It won't work.

You have to give him the best advice, make aware of the implications and danger, let him decide for himself if he wants to ride or not - not just because 'you'd like to see it' - and then let him live his own life.

If he's not ready for it then don't come up with the $.

What this man said.

Skyryder

[skidMark]

Interesting perspective i'm seeing here..

I got my license at 15 and on the day I got it I was someone afraid of going on the road. I had practiced heaps in a car park before hand so knew the basic controls of my bike.. just on the road it's a big difference.

My Dad just said go for a ride to the dairy, 20 metres down the road there were road works and I absolutely stuffed it, made many other mistakes aswell all by myself. I learned to learn very quickly..

Every time I had an Oh Shit! Moment or binned i'd tell my Dad about it and he'd discuss it with me and my technique and what I could change but he's been real free on my riding. He knows when i go open road riding with mates that I like to hoon it a wee bit but he's a big believer of personal responsibility. Or he doesn't love me... :crybaby:


Parents do worry though, it's just a natural part of it.

My parents are always asking me to not ride bikes. But it's only because they care.

[CookMySock]

Thank you skiddy. Thats some good ideas you have there.

DB

[CookMySock]

I think you may be operating under a misapprehension as to what is or is not a "forum". Most definitions use the words "open" and/or "public" and "discussion".I am not trying to air my views. I am trying to find, and work with, a like-minded group of parents to achieve my goals. Please re-read my original posting. By the time I am done, many others will have achieved their goals as well. As a group, we will have progressed far beyond what we could have achieved individually.

DB

[Hanne]

Well, I am not a parent, but we have a similar situation going on in my house at the moment because my sister is wanting to get her bike licence and of course my mum is worried.

With me, my mum said ok, get your restricted car licence and then you can start with bikes. That was because she wanted me to have more practice on the road first and she wanted me to do it in the car because I started out in the car. Instead of laying down the law she said these are my concerns, this is what i would like to see happen and this is why.

I think the fact that listened to her had more to do with her approach to things than anything else and the way she explained where she was coming from and tried to find a compromise (ideally she wouldn't want any ofher family back on bikes)
So we haven't had 'contracts' as such, but I guess it depends heaps on the individuals too, maybe some people respond better to clearer expectations.

[mstriumph]

I....... Like you I expect, I am keen to have him ride a bike on the road. .......

is this what he wants too?

if so, and you are doing the paying, shell out a little more and get him a decent set of lessons with a good teacher who ISN'T you ..

...... even if you have a good relationship with him, it's prolly better if his ride education is aside from your personal life - your anxieties may intrude if [when] he does something daft in training [we ALL do something daft sooner or later] and it could spill over .......become bigger than ben hur ....

- and that way, when he rides with YOU he can regard it as fun [even if you ARE secretly scrutinizing his every move lol] and YOU can be supportive of how good he's getting .....

if you feel you HAVE to put something in writing, talk it thru, write it down, keep it short and simple .............and drag it out every coupla months, talk it thru again and jointly decide if it's still relevant or needs updating or whatever ...... ie make it the record of an ongoing living agreement between the two of you, not just words on paper frozen in one moment in time .....

[CookMySock]

Thanks mstrimph. Yes he wants this very much. In any case, he needs a regular job first, so no job - no bike, so it's in his control.

I know what you mean about family stresses, but no I will teach him. I decided some years ago, to never do anything that would prevent him from being my best friend. So anyway, his best friend is probably his mum but I come a close 2nd I think. I slip up here and there, but I try hard.

He's done some farm bike time, and he's a clever cookie as well, so we aim to keep the stressful things completely out of it, and keep it calm, interesting, and informative. He won't be permitted to goof off on it though - the road is not for that.

The kids know we watch out for them, and they seem to get that we aren't know-it-all stick-in-the-mud's trying to ruin their fun. We try to get them all the toys, provided they play safe, and this is just an extention of that. Last time it was a jet boat, and they caned hell outa that until they had it sorted. Good fun.

DB

[Maha]

Make him sit down and read all my posts.:msn-wink:

(Well - maybe not all of them).

The interesting ones???....shouldn't take that long....:chase:
Seriously tho'....A contract of this nature surely must be somewhat of a wind up? Most will agree that a teenager will say yes to anything if its in his/her favour. ''Sign here son''!...''Sure dad''...''Now ya if you detour from what you have agreed to in this contract, I will take the bike off you''...''Sure dad''...''And you will adhere to every letter right''?....''Sure dad''....''You're a good boy, now off you go. Three months later.... Son gets cleaned up by a drunk driver....Any contract wont stop that!
Love and trust your son DB....contract not needed.

[CookMySock]

Most will agree that a teenager will say yes to anything if its in his/her favour. [.....]Love and trust your son DB....contract not needed.And that is the problem precisely isn't it. So can it be done safely or not ? From what you are saying, the answer is no. Maybe you are right. I extended myself when I was a youngster, and I was fucking lucky. (Once had a rear-engined car sideways in the wet at 90mph - pure luck!)

So maybe this is impossible.

DB

[Tank]

So maybe this is impossible.

DB

I have done this with my eldest two kids. Actually its been very successful.

What I did was buy them both a reasonable car each then they turned 16. It was kept in my name.

The rules were that they had to pay for rego's, WOF's and INSURANCE (even just 3rd party) at all times.

IF they didnt have insurance the car was not allowed on the road.

If they were done for dangerous driving, driving with alcohol, or outside the terms of their licence (after 10pm, other kids in the car etc), the agreement was that I would sell the car, keep the money myself and I would not ever help them financially with another vehicle.

After a few years I signed the first car over (daughter has 2 years to go).

We simply agreed the rules up front, and I promised them that I would follow thru on the punishment - and that they would have to remember that it was their choice to break the rules.

Never had a problem - not once.

[Maha]

I have done this with my eldest two kids. Actually its been very successful.

What I did was buy them both a reasonable car each then they turned 16. It was kept in my name.

The rules were that they had to pay for rego's, WOF's and INSURANCE (even just 3rd party) at all times.

IF they didnt have insurance the car was not allowed on the road.

If they were done for dangerous driving, driving with alcohol, or outside the terms of their licence (after 10pm, other kids in the car etc), the agreement was that I would sell the car, keep the money myself and I would not ever help them financially with another vehicle.

After a few years I signed the first car over (daughter has 2 years to go).

We simply agreed the rules up front, and I promised them that I would follow thru on the punishment - and that they would have to remember that it was their choice to break the rules.

Never had a problem - not once.

That is interesting and good on you for doing so. But yet again I say, teenagers will say yes to anything, in this case, they got car. They stuck to the rules put in place by you and everything turned out sweet.
A verbal agreement might be the better way to go (adult like)

[Tank]

That is interesting and good on you for doing so. But yet again I say, teenagers will say yes to anything, in this case, they got car. They stuck to the rules put in place by you and everything turned out sweet.
A verbal agreement might be the better way to go (adult like)

Indeed - kids will say anything to get what they want. According to my wife Im still like that.

Anyway - the logic behind my approach was that the talk only got them so far (the car) - they had to walk the walk in order to keep it. :yes:

[avgas]

Buy him something underpowered.
Something he CAN drop.
Don't buy him petrol.
When he shows some form of maturity get him something decent and have your talk.