PrincessBandit
22nd April 2008, 14:05
Daughter brought this home yesterday from uni.
List of comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York public school system. All teachers were reprimanded, but some of these are really funny:
* Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
* I would not allow this student to breed.
* Your child has delusions of adequacy.
* Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
* your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
* This child has been working with glue too much.
* When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
* It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 other.
* The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
Then this selection of comments taken off actual police car videos around the States:
* Relax the handcuffs are tight because they're new; they'll stretch after you wear them a while.
* If you run you'll only go to jail tired.
* Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.
* No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.
* You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.
List of comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York public school system. All teachers were reprimanded, but some of these are really funny:
* Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
* I would not allow this student to breed.
* Your child has delusions of adequacy.
* Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
* your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
* This child has been working with glue too much.
* When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
* It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 other.
* The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
Then this selection of comments taken off actual police car videos around the States:
* Relax the handcuffs are tight because they're new; they'll stretch after you wear them a while.
* If you run you'll only go to jail tired.
* Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.
* No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.
* You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.