Talking shyte

[Wingnut]

I understand that everyone from time to time tends to stretch the truth a little when telling yarns. I see no harm in this. But why do some people constantely over do it with bike storys?

Anyway - I was wondering what is the biggest pile of shit bike story that has been spun to you?

There must be some beauties out there. Lets hear them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kiwifruit]

"my stock standard 1000cc motorcycle can do a genuine 300kph"

[Katman]

"140 round the 55's". :msn-wink:

[Rockbuddy]

spuzukis are great bikes

[Headbanger]

I hear a few fellow HD riders make claims of blasting past Jap bikes, Even on twisties.

ya tell em there bikes are slow compared to a Japper and they howl in protest.

I gave an old mate of mine a ride on a 750 nipper I had, he didn't bring it back for six hours, claimed it was like being strapped to the back of a jet plane.

He rode his HD home, decided nevr to touch another jap bike, seems my $2000 jap cracker made his $34000 worked HD feel like a heavy slug....

[Sparky Bills]

I used to do faster lap times then Neil Hodgson...

My tyres keep sliding mid corner...

Hyosungs are good bikes!...

I can spin my rear tyre out of any corner...

FAR TOO ANY TO LIST!!

[doc]

Where is Skiddie ? This is right up his alley.

[Thunder 8]

:shit:Idiot told me one night that he had a vf1000f that did 290 k's no probs at all. Did'nt tell him i'd owned the f and r versions :doh:and that neither came close to 290 k's .Just an example but have heard heaps like it and worse over the years.:laugh:

[FilthyLuka]

"A GSXR250 puts out 70HP"
"My RS250 puts out 70HP at the wheel"
"Singles are only made because they are cheap, no other reason"
"My RGV250 does 280"
"You can have any bike and i guarantee i will still beat ya on my ZXR250"
"Litre bikes don't out drag my GSX1400"
"You can't get 300HP out of a 86' GSXR1100"

and my personal favourite

"You can't make your GN run right on av gas"

[Zoolander]

I used to do faster lap times then Neil Hodgson...

My tyres keep sliding mid corner...

Hyosungs are good bikes!...

I can spin my rear tyre out of any corner...

FAR TOO ANY TO LIST!!

You been talkin' to Kerry Dukie again Martin? :lol:

[megageoff76]

You been talkin' to Kerry Dukie again Martin? :lol:

Ha! That exactly who sprung to mind when i saw this thread.

[Ixion]

"It just needs the carby cleaned"
"It'll fly through a warrant"
"Rego's dead and I haven't any papers, but it's only $150 for a VIN"
"Good runner, just needs a new battery to start it. As is where is"
"Small amount of non structural rust, just needs a bit of bog"

[Sparky Bills]

You been talkin' to Kerry Dukie again Martin? :lol:


That wasnt actually from Kerry. :whistle:

[Sparky Bills]

Im one of the hottest people on KB...:msn-wink:

Heard that a few times from a few different people.

[avgas]

"You can't make your GN run right on av gas"
you can - but thats beside the point.
Any single thumper works nicely on some nice high octane.

Some goodies i have heard however:
"My K*whatever* kills anything on those twisties."
"Yeah the R1 is fantastic, i keep it in EXUP all the time"
"So i said to the cop.........."
"Get a real bike!" - usually coming from a car driver or someone that should be in a car reading womens day.

[madandy]

"...it's never been dropped..."
"...upside down forks..." ;)

[2 wheel madness]

Was doing 250, 260, 280 etc etc etc ........ farken hard to believe when your there and doing considerably less speeds

Whats the obsession with straight line speeds??? and who really cares!!!

[Rogue]

Whats the obsession with straight line speeds??? and who really cares!!!

Different strokes for different folks dude :rockon:

[yungatart]

Someone on here claimed that I gave another KBer the learn! Yeah right!!!

[gijoe1313]

"... there was this one time, at band camp ..."
"... I love you ..."
"... that'll buff out ..."
"... for better, for worse ..."
"... nothing that duct tape can't fix ..."
"... I'll pay you back, promise ..."
"... promise to cut taxes ..."
"... she said she was over 18! ..."
"... I'm off to the dairy, be back soon ..."
"... part will be in tomorrow ..."
"... you did tighten that bolt right?..."
"... 'tis but a flesh wound!..."

[firefighter]

From an old work colleague........(not a fireman) "was lane splitting at 130kms banging on the roofs of the cars that were in the way........"

[BIHB@0610]

From my ex-husband, when I was 19 and a bike-virgin - and he was trying to get me on the back ....

"Bikes are heaps safer than cars, they can't fall over, it's the laws of physics - they have two huge gyroscopes, one of the best safety features you can get, and those ensure the bike will always stay upright. Cars don't have them, that's why they crash".

I rode pillion happily for about six months before I realised I'd been conned (I am fairly intelligent, honest .... hehe). Glad I was though :2thumbsup

[firefighter]

From my ex-husband, when I was 19 and a bike-virgin - and he was trying to get me on the back ....

"Bikes are heaps safer than cars, they can't fall over, it's the laws of physics - they have two huge gyroscopes, one of the best safety features you can get, and those ensure the bike will always stay upright. Cars don't have them, that's why they crash".

I rode pillion happily for about six months before I realised I'd been conned (I am fairly intelligent, honest .... hehe). Glad I was though :2thumbsup

Ohhhh so thats how I get the mrs on the back!

[Mikkel]

Was doing 250, 260, 280 etc etc etc ........ farken hard to believe when your there and doing considerably less speeds

Whats the obsession with straight line speeds??? and who really cares!!!

The cops really cares!


I rode pillion happily for about six months before I realised I'd been conned (I am fairly intelligent for a blonde, honest .... hehe). Glad I was though :2thumbsup

You got owned :lol: (blonde myself so am allowed to...)
Good on him! -and you for sticking at it.

[NOMIS]

Ohhhh so thats how I get the mrs on the back!

oohhh wait so now can someone tell us how to get a "missus" ???

and

1, "I rode motorcross bikes since way back, was the best on my KTM CR150. Used to race in 600cc class" - hahahaha
2, same person as above , "My evo1 smoked a R1."
3, same person again, "Im telling the truth"

[Tank]

on KB there are so many - but a few:

"Then this cage ....."
"I was just sitting at the lights, then ....."
"The cop gave me a ticket - and its bullshit because ...."
"... Or this goes International ....."

[Bonez]

"I'll give you a $10 deposit on the home brew borbourn and pay you the rest tomorrow"

I will honest............

[jrandom]

"I've done two hundred and eighty kilometers per hour on my Buell X1 Lightning."

:clap:

[jrandom]

"Litre bikes don't out drag my GSX1400"

You forgot the rest of the statement "... under 100kph".

When it comes to the bike's ability to accelerate to 100kph from a standing start, then yes, what I said is quite true.

Past that point, of course, the fact that it's a big ol' aircooled barge becomes obvious.

[NOMIS]

same person as before.

" I don't have genital wart's"
" Nah what ever she wasn't that drunk she did want me "
" Yeh took on like 6 guys at mrs q's Wasted all of them "
" She was older than 15 honest "
" played Johna in club rugby I was the only one to tackle him "

Again

" Im telling the truth "

[xwhatsit]

"... that'll buff out ..."

:pinch: You mean you LIED to me?!

[EJK]

:pinch: You mean you LIED to me?!

You too???? :pinch:


"I do wheelies......"
"I do stoppies......"
"I am not a noob.."

anything in here :)

[98tls]

Shitheads that whilst standing next to my old TL say "when are you going to get rid of the shit rear suspension" i say whilst thinking you are a fuck head "i have" they look at me strangely and then look down at the spring..shuffle away a little and talk quietly to there fuckhead mate who in turn repeats his boyfriends facial pose,generally followed by "my mates brothers aunty who rides a VTR had a cousin blah blah":niceone:

[buellbabe]

Jrandom...

Digital readouts don't lie.

As said in my PM to you...I thought the bike was gonna explode!

[Deano]

"my stock standard 1000cc motorcycle can do a genuine 300kph"

Ummmm, sorry to spoil the party but Jay Lawrence hit 301kph on a stock Anniversary R1 at the 2006 sprints.


I hear a few fellow HD riders make claims of blasting past Jap bikes, Even on twisties.


And again - there is a 50+ dude on a HD that owns many a sportsbike on the Takas.

[Edbear]

spuzukis are great bikes


OI! I HEARD THAT!!! (I know what other site you're on, too...)

[Gubb]

And again - there is a 50+ dude on a HD that owns many a sportsbike on the Takas.

Ha! I've seen this guy blast by mate in a TL1000R up the 'takas. Chatted to him at the top. Absolute legend.

[Usarka]

anything by anyone who thinks their bike is faster than a xxxxxx because they passed one once while the rider was scratching his nuts.

[kiwifruit]

Digital readouts don't lie.

As said in my PM to you...I thought the bike was gonna explode!

Of course they do, thats what they do best.

Theres no way a buell x1 lightning (without an absurd amount of work done) will do 280kmh, i mean, COME ON! :lol: :lol: :spanking: :rolleyes:



Ummmm, sorry to spoil the party but Jay Lawrence hit 301kph on a stock Anniversary R1 at the 2006 sprints.


*stands corrected* :eek:
fuckin party pooper!

[nodrog]

"I've done two hundred and eighty kilometers per hour on my Buell X1 Lightning."

:clap:


_____________

[Jimmy B]

Ummmm, sorry to spoil the party but Jay Lawrence hit 301kph on a stock Anniversary R1 at the 2006 sprints.




That might well be the case Deano but everyone knows that straight line speed is neither impressive or skillful :eek:

[Deano]

That might well be the case Deano but everyone knows that straight line speed is neither impressive or skillful :eek:

That wasn't the point here.

And I would beg to differ - 300+ kph is something to be impressed by.

[Jimmy B]

That wasn't the point here.

And I would beg to differ - 300+ kph is something to be impressed by.

Sorry mate, I'm feeling a bit frisky today, actually frisky and cheaky :D

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?p=1534056#post1534056

[Deano]

Sorry mate, I'm feeling a bit frisky today, actually frisky and cheaky :D

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?p=1534056#post1534056

It's all good - I agree in part - I don't think it takes a lot of skill to go fast in a straight line, but it's pretty impressive. :woohoo:

Especially standing 4ft away at the time.

[Mikkel]

That might well be the case Deano but everyone knows that straight line speed is neither impressive or skillful :eek:

Indeed, we all know that now ;)


It's all good - I agree in part - I don't think it takes a lot of skill to go fast in a straight line, but it's pretty impressive. :woohoo:

Especially standing 4ft away at the time.

That would be scary yes! :yes:

[NordieBoy]

you can - but thats beside the point.
Any single thumper works nicely on some nice high octane.

Hmmm...
My last 4 have worked better on regular than super or avgas.

[Insanity_rules]

Any story of a two fifty capable of +190 Kph (other than the odd random two smoke), anyone who would want to go more than 150 Kph on a (edit: four stroke) two fifty (done it once and it was shit scary) , Wellington to Auckland faster than five and a half hours, Hyobags dont rust, I didn't deserve that speeding ticket, She had a body on her, I don't spade ugly chicks and so forth.

[Mikkel]

anyone who would want to go more than 150 Kph on a two fifty (done it once and it was shit scary)

I'm happy to do more than 150 km/h on mine. Dunno what 250 you were on - but it is not scary at all TBQFH.

[Deano]

I'm happy to do more than 150 km/h on mine. Dunno what 250 you were on - but it is not scary at all TBQFH.

I concur. NSR250R - mint.

[Insanity_rules]

I concur. NSR250R - mint.

And a good quality two smoke, I rest my case.

[Deano]

And a good quality two smoke, I rest my case.

You didn't mention good quality in your sentence. Your case was flawed:Pokey:

[Insanity_rules]

You didn't mention good quality in your sentence. Your case was flawed:Pokey:

Have edited the post accordingly

[NOMIS]

I'm happy to do more than 150 km/h on mine. Dunno what 250 you were on - but it is not scary at all TBQFH.

I agree I have a hornet and I dont mind doing 150, so thats not a 2 stroke.....
doesnt get there like a bigger bike does, and probally a 2stroke but i can still get there. and hold it there.

[NordieBoy]

anyone who would want to go more than 150 Kph on a (edit: four stroke) two fifty (done it once and it was shit scary)

170kph at 13000rpm on a VT250 - sounded like a 2-smoker at those revs.

I miss that bike :(
So smooth but the frame was a little small for me.
Twin disc front, hydro clutch, just tweak your toes and it'd change gears, full fairing.

Sold it and the next owner got taken out by a cage on it.

[Mikkel]

I concur. NSR250R - mint.

Mine is a ZXR250A. Still mint though.


And a good quality two smoke, I rest my case.

I'm afraid not. Good quality 4 stroke. Unless the japanese 2 stroke are de-restricted they'll only put out around 45 hps at the crank, which is the same as the pre-93 4 stroke 250 ccm sportsbikes.

[marty]

this one would have to be close to winning.....

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=1534319&postcount=21

[NOMIS]

this one would have to be close to winning.....

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=1534319&postcount=21

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ohhh man..... now thats a thanks for making me smile:first:

[avgas]

45 hps at the crank
After doing a few dyno runs, could someone prove to me that 250's do this? I'm not doubting it - but it seems that all the people that quote 250's getting over 40hp never seem to have a dyno sheet.
I would also be interested at the top speed of the dyno runs on 250's. The 190kph cutout would look most interesting i think. Would be interesting to see if it is actually 190 too.
Anyone done this?

[NOMIS]

After doing a few dyno runs, could someone prove to me that 250's do this? I'm not doubting it - but it seems that all the people that quote 250's getting over 40hp never seem to have a dyno sheet.
I would also be interested at the top speed of the dyno runs on 250's. The 190kph cutout would look most interesting i think. Would be interesting to see if it is actually 190 too.
Anyone done this?

Ill Be sure to post my dyno up when I get my bike tuned in the next couple of weeks I think it will be interesting for my self to no as well.

I don't no what it will be now but will post it. Chur

[Edbear]

After doing a few dyno runs, could someone prove to me that 250's do this? I'm not doubting it - but it seems that all the people that quote 250's getting over 40hp never seem to have a dyno sheet.
I would also be interested at the top speed of the dyno runs on 250's. The 190kph cutout would look most interesting i think. Would be interesting to see if it is actually 190 too.
Anyone done this?

My old T500 was rated at 45hp by Suzuki in '73, and I was impressed to see the modern 250's putting out 40hp+, many quoted at 44hp. I believe the RS250 Aprilia is around the 60hp mark?

I thought this thread was about people exaggerating, anyway...?:Offtopic:

[Beemer]

A certain Scotsman who visited our fine shores a few years back told us he was a star around the Ring. My husband took him for a ride over Wairarapa way and had to keep slowing down for him to catch up. Scotsman was on a late model bike, husband on his 1980s Beemer. Mind you, same guy told us he couldn't eat most vegetables as he was allergic to aspirin...

[Str8 Jacket]

Anyone remember madboy?!..... :whistle:

[avgas]

Ill Be sure to post my dyno up when I get my bike tuned in the next couple of weeks I think it will be interesting for my self to no as well.
I don't no what it will be now but will post it. Chur
Sweet as mate - I just got my dyno sheet just after i saw knuckles. 121 genuine ponies on the back wheel so im stoked. If im road legal buy Sun i might catch you on the NZSF run (or gentle walk in my case - been off the road for last 6 months).

[Deano]

Anyone remember madboy?!..... :whistle:

His stories were probably true - he was nuts !!

[Mikkel]

After doing a few dyno runs, could someone prove to me that 250's do this? I'm not doubting it - but it seems that all the people that quote 250's getting over 40hp never seem to have a dyno sheet.
I would also be interested at the top speed of the dyno runs on 250's. The 190kph cutout would look most interesting i think. Would be interesting to see if it is actually 190 too.
Anyone done this?

I had mine dynoed at 37.5 hps at the rear wheel. Although this was a questionable dyno at best.

I'd have posted the dyno sheet a while back if I had easy access to a scanner...

One of the previous owners claimed to have taken it off the clock (180+ km/h) which I kinda believe. How much though is a bit hard to say... Also, I don't know what the speedo deviation is. I've found those helpful "Slow-down" thingy-ma-bobs that have been put up in various places rather helpful... My speedo deviation at ~55 km/h is less than 5 km/h according to those.

[Str8 Jacket]

His stories were probably true - he was nuts !!

Ha! Yeah, good point!

[Maha]

I heard once that Nodrog was 6'4'' and full of Muscle....:rolleyes:

[Mikkel]

I heard once that Nodrog was 6'4'' and full of Muscle....:rolleyes:

Did he smile and give you a vegemite sandwich then? :wait:

[Maha]

Did he smile and give you a vegemite sandwich then? :wait:


Oh mate thats quick, wondered if any would catch on!....bling sent.

[Deano]

A guy once reckoned he hit a sheep at 160kph and split it in two, and didn't crash.

I thought this was bullshit until I saw something similar with my own eyes - this guy did crash, but not immediately and could possibly have saved it (the bike not the sheep) if he had been going in a straight line.

I thought the guys next story of having sex while doing 160kph on a bike a bit far fetched though, unless he considered having a wank as sex.

[Tank]

I thought the guys next story of having sex while doing 160kph on a bike a bit far fetched though, unless he considered having a wank as sex.

I used to have sex doing 160km. But I'm a screamer and opening your mouth at that speed causes you to not be able to breath properly making you asphyxiate and pass out. Last time that happened to me I was already off the road and on gravel, but my super racing skills allowed me to pull the bike back. The cop pulled me over and said he could have given me a ticket - but because I had such mean az skillz he was going to let me off.

That's true that is.

[MSTRS]

Tom (to Frosty) "That tyre is mint"

[90s]

" ... and I still had 70% in reserve" ...

[Mikkel]

I thought the guys next story of having sex while doing 160kph on a bike a bit far fetched though, unless he considered having a wank as sex.

Doable on Thompsons Track here in Canterbury I reckon. Now I'd admit having sex while going in a straight line at speed is impressive ;)


Tom (to Frosty) "That tyre is mint"

Special steel edition - they just don't make them like that anymore...

[popelli]

I hear a few fellow HD riders make claims of blasting past Jap bikes, Even on twisties.



except some of these stories are actually true, nothing to do with the bike, its just that some riders regardless of what they are on can't ride for s*** anyway

[Bonez]

Payed for the bourbon.

Honest...................

[marty]

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=1541892&postcount=1

[FROSTY]

Biggest crock of shit i ever heard was the guy that many years ago said he could ride from downtown Auckland to Hamilton and back in under an hour.
This was on the GPZ900 ninja
Thats a 200km round trip and at the time wasn't motorway most of the way.

[saltydog]

"140 round the 55's". :msn-wink:
.....Yep.....

[inlinefour]

Mine is a ZXR250A. Still mint though.



I'm afraid not. Good quality 4 stroke. Unless the japanese 2 stroke are de-restricted they'll only put out around 45 hps at the crank, which is the same as the pre-93 4 stroke 250 ccm sportsbikes.

My old 1981 RD250LC was a rather heavy bike compared to the more modern NSR/RGV etc and it was still quite capable of 187kph, but that was screaming the shit out of it in 5th or 6th, never really cared as the first thing I did was disconnect the rev counter. It was there for a good time, not along time. :devil2:

Biggest crock of shyte I've heard is from a KBer, you might know who it is. Has a big pile of destructed bike bits from several bikes, claimed to have one run over by a bus, but also claims to be a motorcycle mechanic. :killingme

[marty]

skiddie trying hard to impress.....................

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=1537550&postcount=3

[Headbanger]

And again - there is a 50+ dude on a HD that owns many a sportsbike on the Takas.

Fantastico, Though seeing as I don't know the guy he doesn't come under the grouping of fellow HD riders I hear talking shit.

And you must have little idea of the delusional bullshit that flows between certain (types of) people when there are no jap bike riders in earshot.

[Batcerb]

Guy at work used to have a Thunderbird. Little piece of road here in Nelson, made from a few steep but short inclines, known as The Switchbacks.

Anyway, as soon as you reach the top you begin to go back down. He hit the top of one of the hills at 200ks, and managed to fly thru the air around 300 meters and land on the crest of the next hill.
Wrote that bike off eventually tho, crashed into an open manhole - no scraches to him!

Same guy with the help of a couple mates, drank a mini tanker full of piss in a single session lasting 2 days. This was out at sea of course, then when the tanker was dry, had the spotter helicoptor onboard fly to land and pickup a few crates to resupply effort.

[Mikkel]

My old 1981 RD250LC was a rather heavy bike compared to the more modern NSR/RGV etc and it was still quite capable of 187kph, but that was screaming the shit out of it in 5th or 6th, never really cared as the first thing I did was disconnect the rev counter. It was there for a good time, not along time. :devil2:

Ah well, I doubt there would have been any restrictions in play in 1981.
Weight doesn't really matter when it comes to top speed though - only acceleration, agility and handling (if you hang off a lot).

I don't know how much mine would do at the top - and I have no plans about finding out. I feel pretty confident 190 km/h should be doable, but you might have play around with the sprockets a bit - and it would take a fair amount of time for it to get there...

[scracha]

She'll be right

Said umpteen times a week by most kiwi's when she defiantly won't be right.

[NordieBoy]

Guy at work used to have a Thunderbird. Little piece of road here in Nelson, made from a few steep but short inclines, known as The Switchbacks.

Anyway, as soon as you reach the top you begin to go back down. He hit the top of one of the hills at 200ks, and managed to fly thru the air around 300 meters and land on the crest of the next hill.

Can't do that anymore.
It's got speedbumps.

[marty]

skiddie still pushing for that #1 spot.

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showpost.php?p=1543096&postcount=29

[Katman]

skiddie still pushing for that #1 spot.



You make it sound like there might be some sort of doubt. :msn-wink:

[inlinefour]

Ah well, I doubt there would have been any restrictions in play in 1981.
Weight doesn't really matter when it comes to top speed though - only acceleration, agility and handling (if you hang off a lot).

I don't know how much mine would do at the top - and I have no plans about finding out. I feel pretty confident 190 km/h should be doable, but you might have play around with the sprockets a bit - and it would take a fair amount of time for it to get there...

no restrictions then, awesome powerband with the frount at times coming up too easy - watch the rises in the road etc, was a original bike but quite possibly faster than many today. Was so easy to lean right over and ride like it was a moto gp.