Biff
21st December 2004, 14:16
My dictionary is subtly different from that used by the remainder of the worlds English speakers. Here are my definitions to some commonly used words. Enjoy:
1. Coffee (n.); a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.); appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.); to give up hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.); to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.); impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.); describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.); to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.); an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.); the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you have been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.); a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.); a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.); the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before they examine you.
13. Oyster (n.); a person who sprinkles their conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Pokemon (n.); a Jamaican proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.); the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.); when a Jew opens the front of his boxer shorts
1. Coffee (n.); a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.); appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.); to give up hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.); to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.); impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.); describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.); to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.); an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.); the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you have been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.); a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.); a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.); the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before they examine you.
13. Oyster (n.); a person who sprinkles their conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Pokemon (n.); a Jamaican proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.); the belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.); when a Jew opens the front of his boxer shorts