Wheeliemonsta
16th May 2008, 15:07
The Women's Names
Alexandra - popular but very loud, sometimes forgets to bathe.
Alice - likes horses but looks like Kermit's girlfriend.
Alicia - pretty and knows it, watches herslf go by in shop windows.
Alison - bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off.
Alyssa - wants to be 'exotic', but only manages to be 'strange'.
Amanda - I.Q. smaller than her bra size, a good shag, but she does practice a lot.
Amber - stereotypical exotic dancer, not too bright but very flexible.
Amy - Devious, Likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to be trusted. Likes any man not wearing trousers
Andrea - Small breasts, small arse, drinks pints and plays a mean game of pool.
Angela - Vain, Hair style more important than oxygen. Usually found hanging around toilets.
Annette - She's BIG, like really BIG!!.
Anne - Looks like a horse, can't drive.
Anne-Marie - Gorgeous and with a great taste in blokes, has perfectly
formed breasts Annie - Drinks too much, always wakes up next to ugly guys.
Ashlee - Dyslexic and spends all day thinking about secs.
Barbara - Shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance. Wears alot of make up
Belinda - Pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.
Beth - Empty headed, big breasted, and easy.
Beverley - Trapped in an eighties timewarp.
Bridgette - Eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.
Britney - Falsely improved, no use to society.
Camilla - replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.
Carly - Party animal until she gets too drunk to stand up.
Carol - Bubbly, life and soul of the party and the bedroom.
Caroline - Lard arse, shaves her ears, picks her nose and shops at oxfam.
Catherine - Attracted to the older man, needs ironing.
Charlotte - Enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.
Cheryl - Can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.
Chloe - Usually a weather-girl or a failed wannabe weather-girl.
Christine - Likes men in uniform, never warm.
Christina - Drop dead gorgeous and with a different bloke each night, well practiced.
Clair - Usually neurotic, gives good head but can have lesbian tendencies.
Courtney - Bit of a 'tomboy', rolls her own tampons.
Deborah - Bites the pillow, uses both hands.
Denise - Sits on cats eyes, wears too much make up.
Di - Enjoys receiving oral sex, but doesn't like giving it.
Diane - Enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle.
Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.
Elaine - Rides side saddle, drinks meths. average breasts.. likes sharp edges.
Elizabeth - Born to perform, hates chickens.
Ellen - Could well have eaten all the pies.
Emily - Wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.
Emma - Gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!
Esther - Plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.
Eve - Shy timid creature until she has a drink, then she becomes very loud.
Evonne - Much happier now that the sex change operation was a success.
Faith - Legs meet at knees, can't shag standing up.
Felicity - One of the boys .. except that she has the most enormous nipples.
Fiona - Female mud wrestler, badly needs a shave.
Francess - A lovely lady even if she is as common as muck!
Gabriel - An arse to die for but pads her bra with tissues.
Gail - Farts a lot, drinks Guinness.
Gayleen - Big tall woman who talks shite all day.
Gina - Eternal mother, eats nappies.
Georgia - Loves her cakes, would rather have gateau than sex.
Georgina - Wants to be a man.
Grace - petite and pretty, fucks like a rabbit.
Gwyneth - Blubs a lot, wees in the bath.
Hannah - Needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.
Hayley - Pretty, likes fast cars and slow men.
Heather - Shags like a freight train, bit of a screamer.
Helen - Hangs around with the wrong rowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn and is totally neurotic.
Hilary - Frigid.
Holly - Prickly to the touch, seasonal shagmeister.
Imogen - Drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.
Ingrid - Right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.
Isobel - Motorbike gang leader, sells guns for pocket money.
Jacqueline – Sex addict likes younger men or one that can dominate her
Janet - Massive over bite,no neck.
Jane - She's hot and she knows it, a prick-teaser.
Jemma - Does anal, wears too much eye make-up.
Jennifer - Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.
Jessica - Always shags on the first date and sometimes even before it.
Joanna - Moans in her sleep, moans when she wakes up, can't cook.
Josephine - Likes to be tied up and teased.
Jody - Dresses like a boy and eats live frogs for breakfast.
Judith - Big eyes, big tits, big problem with ballance.
Judy - Huge tits, married to a retard.
Julia - Innocent face, don't trust her, she'll steal your wallet in five minutes
Juliet - Eats too many chips, has greasy hair and a hairy arse.
Justine - Massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets.
Julie - Likes outdoor sex, preferably with a chance of getting caught.
Karen - Huge tits, shags like a rabbit.
Kate - kisses with her tongue and can hold a conversation whilst doing it.
Katherine - old-fashioned girl, giggles when anyone mentions naughty words.
Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.
Kerran - tries to be mysterious, but everyone has been there.
Kerry - pretty, cute, and changes underwear once a week.
Kirsty - Eats live moles, can't dance.
Kristy - Shy until she gets drunk, prone to spots.
Kristen - Emotionally stunted, thinks Robot-Wars is cruel and should be banned.
Kylie - Can't sing but who cares ... lovely arse.
Lana - Hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.
Lara - Action packed, never seen naked.
Laura - Likes Max power magazine, can't drive. Dominatrix
Lauren – Pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.
Leanne - eats a lot of raw meat, most guys are scared of her.
Leyla - Hot and horny, the girl that always will.
Linda - Teenage bride can swallow oranges whole.
Lisa - Will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn.
Liz - Long legged and brainy.
Lorraine - Constantly whinges, will strip for a packet of jellybabies
Louise - Likes to get around, fantastic breasts.
Lucy - Strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.
Lynn - Funny and sexy, everything a bloke wants in a woman.
Maggie - Trainspotter, likes plaid.
Mandy - Cute and cuddly, thick as a short plank.
Margaret - Lovely mother, very generous.
Maria - Bangs like a barn door.
Marie - Life sapping dominatrix. Likes men to do DIY.
Marion - stuffs her bra with tissue, a bit cross-eyed.
Mary - Likes men with long tongues and talented fingers.
Megan - Cold, hard-hearted bitch, enjoys upsetting little children.
Melanie - Can hold 2 bar vacuum orally indefinitely.
Melissa - Eats dogs, has been in prison 6 times for burglary.
Michelle - Wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag.
Monica - Doesn't swallow, should have.
Nadine - Stunt Lady, can drink any bloke under the table! Don't mess with
Nancy - White hair, remembers tanners.
Natalie - Eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.
Natasha - Had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.
Nicola - Slapper, alcoholic in denial.
Niki - wannabe mysterious spy but not bright enough.
Nina - Stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.
Olivia - Gorgeous and knows it, has to sew herself into her trousers..
Pamela - Gives amazing head, made of plastic.
Pat - short and common, one of the lads and a bit of a laff.
Paula - Transvestite merchant banker from Basildon.
Peggy - Wears outdated clothes and will only do missionary position.
Penelope - Pitstop queen, likes her men to be stiff.
Phillippa - Forest forager, likes wild boar.
Rachel - Amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her arsecheeks.
Rebecca - Hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
Rosalind - Upper-class lady but works as a secret agent when the government needs her.
Roz - Only enjoys sex when she's tied up and spanked first.
Ruth - Has stretch marks around her mouth.
Sally - Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.
Samantha - Loves her brother, has 4 deformed children.
Sandra - Shags donkeys for fun, bow legged.
Sara - Air-head, with a gorgeous body to compensate.
Selina - Doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills.
Sharon - The original bitch queen, uses everyone she meets.
Shelly - very cute, but a bit of a soft-hearted slapper.
Shirley - Can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.
Shona - Librarian by day, exotic dancer by night.
Sonya – intelligent, funny and very talented when it comes to the naughty stuff.
Sophia - Beautiful girl with long legs, a shame her arse is the size of a small country.
Stephanie - Eats Muppets, wears Brogues.
Susanne - should shave more often, wears Denim aftershave. Very fertile.
Sylvia - loves the outdoors. Mad.
Tanya - Hot minx, too short.
Tina - Face like a smacked arse, should eat less.
Tracey - Lesbian.
Ursula - Likes puppies,usually in a hot curry.
Valerie - quaint and old-fashioned, someones aunt.
Vanessa - Beautiful, power-crazy bitch.
Vikki - Drinks anything so long as it's got vodka in it.
Wendy - Possibly a man.
Zoe - Talentless rock chick. Prepared to use sex as a weapon.
Alexandra - popular but very loud, sometimes forgets to bathe.
Alice - likes horses but looks like Kermit's girlfriend.
Alicia - pretty and knows it, watches herslf go by in shop windows.
Alison - bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off.
Alyssa - wants to be 'exotic', but only manages to be 'strange'.
Amanda - I.Q. smaller than her bra size, a good shag, but she does practice a lot.
Amber - stereotypical exotic dancer, not too bright but very flexible.
Amy - Devious, Likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to be trusted. Likes any man not wearing trousers
Andrea - Small breasts, small arse, drinks pints and plays a mean game of pool.
Angela - Vain, Hair style more important than oxygen. Usually found hanging around toilets.
Annette - She's BIG, like really BIG!!.
Anne - Looks like a horse, can't drive.
Anne-Marie - Gorgeous and with a great taste in blokes, has perfectly
formed breasts Annie - Drinks too much, always wakes up next to ugly guys.
Ashlee - Dyslexic and spends all day thinking about secs.
Barbara - Shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance. Wears alot of make up
Belinda - Pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.
Beth - Empty headed, big breasted, and easy.
Beverley - Trapped in an eighties timewarp.
Bridgette - Eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.
Britney - Falsely improved, no use to society.
Camilla - replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.
Carly - Party animal until she gets too drunk to stand up.
Carol - Bubbly, life and soul of the party and the bedroom.
Caroline - Lard arse, shaves her ears, picks her nose and shops at oxfam.
Catherine - Attracted to the older man, needs ironing.
Charlotte - Enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.
Cheryl - Can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.
Chloe - Usually a weather-girl or a failed wannabe weather-girl.
Christine - Likes men in uniform, never warm.
Christina - Drop dead gorgeous and with a different bloke each night, well practiced.
Clair - Usually neurotic, gives good head but can have lesbian tendencies.
Courtney - Bit of a 'tomboy', rolls her own tampons.
Deborah - Bites the pillow, uses both hands.
Denise - Sits on cats eyes, wears too much make up.
Di - Enjoys receiving oral sex, but doesn't like giving it.
Diane - Enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle.
Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.
Elaine - Rides side saddle, drinks meths. average breasts.. likes sharp edges.
Elizabeth - Born to perform, hates chickens.
Ellen - Could well have eaten all the pies.
Emily - Wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.
Emma - Gullible and easily swayed by a good looker!
Esther - Plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.
Eve - Shy timid creature until she has a drink, then she becomes very loud.
Evonne - Much happier now that the sex change operation was a success.
Faith - Legs meet at knees, can't shag standing up.
Felicity - One of the boys .. except that she has the most enormous nipples.
Fiona - Female mud wrestler, badly needs a shave.
Francess - A lovely lady even if she is as common as muck!
Gabriel - An arse to die for but pads her bra with tissues.
Gail - Farts a lot, drinks Guinness.
Gayleen - Big tall woman who talks shite all day.
Gina - Eternal mother, eats nappies.
Georgia - Loves her cakes, would rather have gateau than sex.
Georgina - Wants to be a man.
Grace - petite and pretty, fucks like a rabbit.
Gwyneth - Blubs a lot, wees in the bath.
Hannah - Needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.
Hayley - Pretty, likes fast cars and slow men.
Heather - Shags like a freight train, bit of a screamer.
Helen - Hangs around with the wrong rowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn and is totally neurotic.
Hilary - Frigid.
Holly - Prickly to the touch, seasonal shagmeister.
Imogen - Drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.
Ingrid - Right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.
Isobel - Motorbike gang leader, sells guns for pocket money.
Jacqueline – Sex addict likes younger men or one that can dominate her
Janet - Massive over bite,no neck.
Jane - She's hot and she knows it, a prick-teaser.
Jemma - Does anal, wears too much eye make-up.
Jennifer - Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.
Jessica - Always shags on the first date and sometimes even before it.
Joanna - Moans in her sleep, moans when she wakes up, can't cook.
Josephine - Likes to be tied up and teased.
Jody - Dresses like a boy and eats live frogs for breakfast.
Judith - Big eyes, big tits, big problem with ballance.
Judy - Huge tits, married to a retard.
Julia - Innocent face, don't trust her, she'll steal your wallet in five minutes
Juliet - Eats too many chips, has greasy hair and a hairy arse.
Justine - Massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets.
Julie - Likes outdoor sex, preferably with a chance of getting caught.
Karen - Huge tits, shags like a rabbit.
Kate - kisses with her tongue and can hold a conversation whilst doing it.
Katherine - old-fashioned girl, giggles when anyone mentions naughty words.
Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.
Kerran - tries to be mysterious, but everyone has been there.
Kerry - pretty, cute, and changes underwear once a week.
Kirsty - Eats live moles, can't dance.
Kristy - Shy until she gets drunk, prone to spots.
Kristen - Emotionally stunted, thinks Robot-Wars is cruel and should be banned.
Kylie - Can't sing but who cares ... lovely arse.
Lana - Hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.
Lara - Action packed, never seen naked.
Laura - Likes Max power magazine, can't drive. Dominatrix
Lauren – Pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.
Leanne - eats a lot of raw meat, most guys are scared of her.
Leyla - Hot and horny, the girl that always will.
Linda - Teenage bride can swallow oranges whole.
Lisa - Will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn.
Liz - Long legged and brainy.
Lorraine - Constantly whinges, will strip for a packet of jellybabies
Louise - Likes to get around, fantastic breasts.
Lucy - Strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.
Lynn - Funny and sexy, everything a bloke wants in a woman.
Maggie - Trainspotter, likes plaid.
Mandy - Cute and cuddly, thick as a short plank.
Margaret - Lovely mother, very generous.
Maria - Bangs like a barn door.
Marie - Life sapping dominatrix. Likes men to do DIY.
Marion - stuffs her bra with tissue, a bit cross-eyed.
Mary - Likes men with long tongues and talented fingers.
Megan - Cold, hard-hearted bitch, enjoys upsetting little children.
Melanie - Can hold 2 bar vacuum orally indefinitely.
Melissa - Eats dogs, has been in prison 6 times for burglary.
Michelle - Wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag.
Monica - Doesn't swallow, should have.
Nadine - Stunt Lady, can drink any bloke under the table! Don't mess with
Nancy - White hair, remembers tanners.
Natalie - Eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.
Natasha - Had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.
Nicola - Slapper, alcoholic in denial.
Niki - wannabe mysterious spy but not bright enough.
Nina - Stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.
Olivia - Gorgeous and knows it, has to sew herself into her trousers..
Pamela - Gives amazing head, made of plastic.
Pat - short and common, one of the lads and a bit of a laff.
Paula - Transvestite merchant banker from Basildon.
Peggy - Wears outdated clothes and will only do missionary position.
Penelope - Pitstop queen, likes her men to be stiff.
Phillippa - Forest forager, likes wild boar.
Rachel - Amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her arsecheeks.
Rebecca - Hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
Rosalind - Upper-class lady but works as a secret agent when the government needs her.
Roz - Only enjoys sex when she's tied up and spanked first.
Ruth - Has stretch marks around her mouth.
Sally - Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.
Samantha - Loves her brother, has 4 deformed children.
Sandra - Shags donkeys for fun, bow legged.
Sara - Air-head, with a gorgeous body to compensate.
Selina - Doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills.
Sharon - The original bitch queen, uses everyone she meets.
Shelly - very cute, but a bit of a soft-hearted slapper.
Shirley - Can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.
Shona - Librarian by day, exotic dancer by night.
Sonya – intelligent, funny and very talented when it comes to the naughty stuff.
Sophia - Beautiful girl with long legs, a shame her arse is the size of a small country.
Stephanie - Eats Muppets, wears Brogues.
Susanne - should shave more often, wears Denim aftershave. Very fertile.
Sylvia - loves the outdoors. Mad.
Tanya - Hot minx, too short.
Tina - Face like a smacked arse, should eat less.
Tracey - Lesbian.
Ursula - Likes puppies,usually in a hot curry.
Valerie - quaint and old-fashioned, someones aunt.
Vanessa - Beautiful, power-crazy bitch.
Vikki - Drinks anything so long as it's got vodka in it.
Wendy - Possibly a man.
Zoe - Talentless rock chick. Prepared to use sex as a weapon.