Aunty Riff Raff's KB matchmaking service

[Riff Raff]

Righto, then, here it is - the page for all you lonely KBers to find true love and stuff. Just put a posting up describing all your wonderful attributes, and if anyone is interested in anyone just PM and start talking.

[NC]

:laugh: @ "show us yah willy"

[Riff Raff]

Warning - don't fall for this ladies

[Wonko]

But the CIA is after my penis. They have sent out their trained Special Agent Lorena Bobbit to track it down and remove it.

Please help me, I'm begging :(

[ajturbo]

ok i have no pride left i'll be the first REAL one..

as Riff said in another post...
i'm a nice guy.. :killingme
i can cook steaks...
i have luke
i have a bike that cop's like to stop and chat about my speedo..(ing)
i am really really good looking....after you have have too many :apint:
i can on most rides keep up with the 250's on the straights

you need to be
blind
good talker
not scared of walking around naked with all the other women .. :killingme
like/owns her own bike..hard to get three on the turbo...has been tryied before.....

[gav]

Warning - don't fall for this ladies
Why? You embarrassed now?

Actually I think more woman should be encouraged to just do this ...
.
.
.
.

.

[Indiana_Jones]

I'm a strapping 18 year old lad on the shore who likes long walks on the beach :bleh:

-Indy

[aff-man]

Righto, then, here it is - the page for all you lonely KBers to find true love and stuff. Just put a posting up describing all your wonderful attributes, and if anyone is interested in anyone just PM and start talking.

Well you've me me. So as you know it's not much to write home about :eek5: :confused2 :cry: :cry: :cry: :killingme :killingme :killingme

[Riff Raff]

Well you've me me. So as you know it's not much to write home about
What's a me me? I'm confused. Why would I want to write home about it? Is it something my flatmate would be interested in (he's a guy by the way :confused: )? Oh no, how can I run a dating site when I don't know all the terminlogy you young things use :confused: .... I need a drink :apint:

[Riff Raff]

Just had a great idea. How about we organise a KB speed dating thingumijigeewhatsit.

So everyone turns up on bikes and maybe the girlies line up along the road and each boy has to race down the road, do a wheelie as he goes past, then turn round and do a stoppie, chat for 5 minutes then move on to the next one. Then the boys and girls can swap around. :niceone:
Since we probably don't have as many single girlies on here as we have guys, perhaps Quasi could provide some of his Fembots. :devil2:

[Two Smoker]

Just had a great idea. How about we organise a KB speed dating thingumijigeewhatsit.

So everyone turns up on bikes and maybe the girlies line up along the road and each boy has to race down the road, do a wheelie as he goes past, then turn round and do a stoppie, chat for 5 minutes then move on to the next one. Then the boys and girls can swap around. :niceone:
Since we probably don't have as many single girlies on here as we have guys, perhaps Quasi could provide some of his Fembots. :devil2:

But what about the people that can't pull stoppies and wheelies :confused: ?Does this mean that MR is going to score all the girls :lol: ?

[jrandom]

But what about the people that can't pull stoppies and wheelies :confused: ?

They don't get to breed.

[Joni]

Does this mean that MR is going to score all the girls :lol: ?

Single woman beware!!! :killingme :killingme

Just kidding mate! :moon:

[StoneChucker]

I have a fat (bike). However, my (wheelie) is small :o but I AM working on it. The years have left me bitter and twisted (and very very weird). I am the BEST listener you'll ever meet, honest and loyal! I'm obsessive compulsive.... ....... . I don't go out much, but I'd like to.

I'm looking for someone with verbal diarrhoea, who is completely fecking crazy and outgoing (those on medication welcome). Ideally into bikes aswell, and would be great if she'd agree that any sunny weekend day should be spent riding. (Days unsuitable for riding should be spent doing sickeningly romantic activities)

But wait, there's more, if you call..

err, no, that IS it.

[Riff Raff]

Erm - I still think you're not going to get anywhere with 'goes up, won't stay up".

[aff-man]

What's a me me? I'm confused. Why would I want to write home about it? Is it something my flatmate would be interested in (he's a guy by the way :confused: )? Oh no, how can I run a dating site when I don't know all the terminlogy you young things use :confused: .... I need a drink :apint:

"meT me" was what i meant to say ... :killingme :killingme and yes you probably need another drink :moon:

[Posh Tourer :P]

Well you've me me. So as you know it's not much to write home about :eek5: :confused2 :cry: :cry: :cry: :killingme :killingme :killingme

Available and I look better than Aff-man....

[Posh Tourer :P]

And I only had this (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=6512&highlight=Mullet) mullet for 10 minutes....

[StoneChucker]

My avatar message referred to my erectile dysfun.. no, shit, I mean, my progress with my wheelies!!! I have updated it to closer reflect my current situation :stupid: :soon: <_< :bleh:

[Riff Raff]

And I only had this (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=6512&highlight=Mullet) mullet for 10 minutes....

And you think that will get the girlies interested in you??????????????? :eek:

[jrandom]

And you think that will get the girlies interested in you??????????????? :eek:

No, for that he relies on his sexy, powerful motorcycle.

[SuperDave]

I'm tall, dark, built and handsome. I am filthy rich with a high powered job at a successful law firm and will be able to satisfy any womens monetary needs and desires, however lavish. Naturally other 'needs' will also be generously met. I am an influential person who is well known and popular. I enjoy tallking but I pride myself in being a great listener.

Any takers?

[dangerous]

But what about the people that can't pull stoppies and wheelies
Well if ya cant get it up........ then ya not going to do to well now are ya :no:

Riff Raff: ya know you should ask a fee for this little adventure of yours :msn-wink: cos I know of at least 2 couples here that have shacked up since becomming a KBer so it just might work. :hug:

[Riff Raff]

Riff Raff: ya know you should ask a fee for this little adventure of yours cos I know of at least 2 couples here that have shacked up since becomming a KBer so it just might work. :hug:
Hmmm? I know of 3! :sly:
But I like living vicariously through other peoples lives, so that is reward enough for me - and of course I get their firstborn child! :devil2:

[dangerous]

I'm tall, dark, built and handsome. I am filthy rich with a high powered job at a successful law firm and will be able to satisfy any womens monetary needs and desires, however lavish. Naturally other 'needs' will also be generously met. I am an influential person who is well known and popular. I enjoy tallking but I pride myself in being a great listener.

Any takers?
Hey mate............... ya might want to state which sex you would prefure, cos theres a few dodgy people around this joint aye and a few that dont state there gender :rolleyes:

[Motoracer]

Riff Raff: ya know you should ask a fee for this little adventure of yours cos I know of at least 2 couples here that have shacked up since becomming a KBer so it just might work. :hug:If you do charge a fee, Aunty RR. Spank should also get his share since it is still within KB. The funds would help the web site as well so it's a win win situation really.

As far as I go... Well, I am single but not really looking for a relationship ATM. Saying that, friendship is welcomed along with fun and excitment along the way. If it was meant to be, then that'll progress into something more. But I am not in a hurry.

Good luck to all and I hope you do find that certain someone, who will make you love life to it's full extent because of the love you will share with him/her.

Edit: Ooops, just read the other posts.

[Riff Raff]

As far as I go... Well, I am single but not really looking for a relationship ATM.
I notice you are one of the ones who doesn't disclose gender.... is there some confusion here???? :devil2:

[jrandom]

I notice you are one of the ones who doesn't disclose gender.... is there some confusion here???? :devil2:

He's male.

And he's a dodgy bugger that has already been told about what will happen if he goes within 200 metres of my daughter.

Although I reckon I won't have to get out the shotgun for another 15 years or so.

But, then again, he probably won't be getting any LESS dodgy in that time, either...

[Two Smoker]

Hmmm? I know of 3! :sly:
But I like living vicariously through other peoples lives, so that is reward enough for me - and of course I get their firstborn child! :devil2:

And who are those three????

[Motoracer]

I notice you are one of the ones who doesn't disclose gender.... is there some confusion here???? :devil2:
Hmmmm, I could have been trying to be REAL sneaky by trying to get some attention from the female kind who normaly wouldn't go for us males. (Lessies) :D

[aff-man]

Available and I look better than Aff-man....


:Oi: :Oi: :Oi: Play nice hahahahahaha.

Hmmmmm thanks to Jrandoms comment i been a thinking. Seeing as there are a lot of older generation people on this site i am sure some of them have nice young daughters. An no i am not dodgy at all :innocent: :innocent: :innocent: (just dont ask CK cause he was at my 21st :shit: :shit: )

[Motoracer]

He's male.

And he's a dodgy bugger that has already been told about what will happen if he goes within 200 metres of my daughter.

Although I reckon I won't have to get out the shotgun for another 15 years or so.

But, then again, he probably won't be getting any LESS dodgy in that time, either...Ohhhh what a sad one JR.... I would only gaze upon them with the purest of all intentions. I, MR would be proud to be their god father/humble care taker at your hour of need... I would give my life to protect theirs, I would do what ever it takes to make sure no harm comes upon their inocent little minds... Until they turn 20, then it's hello "How u doin? :shifty:"

[Two Smoker]

Until they turn 20, then it's hello "How u doin? :shifty:"

Does that chat up line ever fail???? "Friends" (the program) is so funny hehehe

[Motoracer]

Does that chat up line ever fail???? "Friends" (the program) is so funny hehehe
It can actually, very miserably fail, if you deliver "the line" in an incorrect manner. If you do it right, they usually love it.

Off topic: Yo Chris, you keen to come along to the Mt with me and some others? Would be real good if we could have you with us, if you weren't doing anything else.

[Riff Raff]

And who are those three????

Now that would be telling :shifty:

[Posh Tourer :P]

RR - twas only showing that I had reformed my ways.......

Just to clarify - that was a male seeks female ad by me (Yeah, I know... atypical BMW rider :P)

And as regards my sexy, powerful motorcycle, who wouldn't want a large, throbbing, motorcycle between their legs? Especially seeing as it is so comfortable you could ride it all day......

[Blakamin]

I'm looking for someone with verbal diarrhoea, who is completely fecking crazy and outgoing (those on medication welcome). Ideally into bikes aswell, and would be great if she'd agree that any sunny weekend day should be spent riding.

But wait, there's more, if you call..

err, no, that IS it.
at least you mentioned "she" somewhere.... sounded like me for a minute :unsure:

[Indiana_Jones]

How come no one is interesting in me? :unsure:

-Indy

[Posh Tourer :P]

How come no one is interesting in me? :unsure:

-Indy

You need a bigger, sexier bike....

Or was that not a spelling mistake?

[Indiana_Jones]

You need a bigger, sexier bike....

Or was that not a spelling mistake?

lol it was a mistake and they don't come much more sexier then the FIXXER :D I look like Vettori just in case you want to know, got alot of shit for that today at the match

-Indy

[Slipstream]

As far as I go... Well, I am single but not really looking for a relationship ATM.
You know a relationship ATM (Automatic Teller Machine) is a great idea :eek:
You could put your card in and instead of pressing a button for a money amount, you press one for type the of relationship.

Makes sense really:yes: the money you spend = the relationship you get.

$10 = a 30 mins phone call
$20 = a movie date
$50 = a one night stand
$100 = a call back
$200 = a weekend romance
$500 = a short term partner

:innocent:
.... also

$100 withdrawl every week = marriage
$200/wk = marriage with kids
$500/wk = marriage, kids and councilling or divorce, kids and councilling

:whistle:

I wonder where internet dating would be priced????:sweatdrop

[StoneChucker]

Would the machine ever swallow...........my card? :shutup:
And, I'd get awful jealous about the people in the queue behind me :confused: :shifty:


mwuahahahahaha :wacko:

[StoneChucker]

For all you eligible ladies, sitting at home and deciding on a partner for life on this thread, before you make any rash decisions you should know this. I am a bigger man than most on here, and I'm possibly twice the man someone like Affman or Two Smoker is. What more can you ask for :cool: :lol: I'm such a, err, man :done:

[NC]

You know a relationship ATM (Automatic Teller Machine) is a great idea :eek:
You could put your card in and instead of pressing a button for a money amount, you press one for type the of relationship.

Makes sense really:yes: the money you spend = the relationship you get.

$10 = a 30 mins phone call
$20 = a movie date
$50 = a one night stand
$100 = a call back
$200 = a weekend romance
$500 = a short term partner

:innocent:
.... also

$100 withdrawl every week = marriage
$200/wk = marriage with kids
$500/wk = marriage, kids and councilling or divorce, kids and councilling

:whistle:

I wonder where internet dating would be priced????:sweatdrop


Errrr I'm happy being single then, if that's the way it's going to be :(

MY MONEY!!! :killingme

[jrandom]

$200/wk = marriage with kids

$200 a week?

Luxury.

[jrandom]

For all you eligible ladies, sitting at home and deciding on a partner for life on this thread, before you make any rash decisions you should know this. I am a bigger man than most on here, and I'm possibly twice the man someone like Affman or Two Smoker is...

And 1.13 times the man *I* am!

[StoneChucker]

And how would you know that Jrandom? :lol: Only the machine at gym, and that funny looking contraption you put $1 coins into, at the shopping mall know how much of a man I really am :doh:

[Hooks]

You're all a bunch of turkeys !!! :Pokey: The women all flock to me all the time .... :bleh: unfortunately then they see me ..... and the 4 urchins I have ..... I can't see them for dust & small stones !!! :sly: Oh well it much simpler being single ..... I don't have anyone telling me when & where I can ride !!! :banana:

[Posh Tourer :P]

$200 a week?

Luxury.

*We* had to live on a five dollar note a week... Every morning we'd go off to work after a handful of hot gravel for breakfast, work for 22hours to earn the five dollar note, then cut it into 10 to divide amongst by 7 brothers myself and my parents, and eat it for dinner.... And then my dad would thrash us to sleep with a $2 coin, *if* we were lucky!

[aff-man]

For all you eligible ladies, sitting at home and deciding on a partner for life on this thread, before you make any rash decisions you should know this. I am a bigger man than most on here, and I'm possibly twice the man someone like Affman or Two Smoker is. What more can you ask for I'm such a, err, man

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr I am wirey and who ate all the pies :Pokey: :Pokey:. Just cause your bikes bigger than mine are you trying to compensate :eek5: :Pokey: hahahahahahahahahaha :banana:

Aunty RR tell the big mean men to leave me alone :cry: :cry: :killingme :killingme

[Motoracer]

You know a relationship ATM (Automatic Teller Machine) is a great idea :eek:
You could put your card in and instead of pressing a button for a money amount, you press one for type the of relationship.

Makes sense really:yes: the money you spend = the relationship you get.

$10 = a 30 mins phone call
$20 = a movie date
$50 = a one night stand
$100 = a call back
$200 = a weekend romance
$500 = a short term partner

:innocent:
.... also

$100 withdrawl every week = marriage
$200/wk = marriage with kids
$500/wk = marriage, kids and councilling or divorce, kids and councilling

:whistle:

I wonder where internet dating would be priced????:sweatdrop
Sounds like a great idea SS! The $50 one sounds like a goer as well as the $200 deal when I finally get some time off work once or twice a year. Sounds cheap too considering, the usual expenses normally involved when doing the same thing, the "old fashioned" way.

[NC]

And 1.13 times the man *I* am!

Your, once.......

[Slipstream]

Your, once.......
....twice....

[NC]

....twice....
..... Three times, a lady....

[SPORK]

*We* had to live on a five dollar note a week... Every morning we'd go off to work after a handful of hot gravel for breakfast, work for 22hours to earn the five dollar note, then cut it into 10 to divide amongst by 7 brothers myself and my parents, and eat it for dinner.... And then my dad would thrash us to sleep with a $2 coin, *if* we were lucky!
Monty Python, anyone? That reminded me of the Four Yorkshiremen skit... ah, the memories

[Posh Tourer :P]

Monty Python, anyone? That reminded me of the Four Yorkshiremen skit... ah, the memories

*exactly* where I paraphrased from...

[Riff Raff]

Aunty RR tell the big mean men to leave me alone :cry: :cry: :killingme :killingme

Sorry, can't fight your battles for you. And BTW that probably won't get the girlies flocking to you. HARDEN UP BOY!!! :laugh:

[aff-man]

Sorry, can't fight your battles for you. And BTW that probably won't get the girlies flocking to you. HARDEN UP BOY!!! :laugh:

Trying to get the sympathy vote hahahaha. Come on i'll take youse all on :ar15: :ar15: :ar15:

[Riff Raff]

Trying to get the sympathy vote hahahaha. Come on i'll take youse all on :ar15: :ar15: :ar15:
Practice your wheelies and stoppies - that'll impress them more on here!!

[Indiana_Jones]

I'm still free :sweatdrop:

-Indy

[jrandom]

I'm still free

No no, dude, Marketing 101. Your price point has to create expectation.

[aff-man]

Practice your wheelies and stoppies - that'll impress them more on here!!

Cant do a stoppie on the 400 yet, need a better front tyre cause this one starts slippin. But wheelies....... :innocent: :innocent: :innocent:

[Posh Tourer :P]

No no, dude, Marketing 101. Your price point has to create expectation.

Yeah "I'm available for $80" might just, maybe, be a little... errr....dodgy?

[6Chris6]

Emotionally stunted, partially retarded biker, with more vices than you can shake a stick at, seeks rabbit boiling chick with a sence of humour (they'll need it).
Hope to hear from you soon.
Chris

[Kwaka-Kid]

Because he has a big blue bike.
And he cooks good :)
:first:



Anyhoo this whole thread has had me in a fit of laughter! I only just heard about this today at the racetrack of all places...:scooter:

errr, its a bit of a Sausage Fest here on KB though isnt it? Not quite the place id go looking for romance...:no: -but what do i know im only young

[Teflon]

Hi, well i'm new to this online dating thing, and havn't had time to read the thread, but here we go.....

I'm 6ft, about 103 kg's, athletic build, and financially secure.

Have a passion for motorcycles. Love being social and partying all night, but also like having a night in watching dvd's.

Well i'm really looking for young broadmined girls, who will try anything once.

[NordieBoy]

...It was at the very moment, that the pickle with the ticket, was going down my throat, that, I knew for sure that, that I didn't wanna pickle...I don't wanna pickle! I just wanna ride on my motorcykel!

Good song that.

Moral: Don't piss off the cops.

[manuboy]

I know but one fine Sth Island day, three bikers arrived in Waiau, via Kaikoura inland road (one of the BEST). Under the shade of a leafy treelike specimen, we parked up.

A luvly luvly wee lady exited the dairy directly across the road, stood for a while staring in our direction, and then yelled out "hey! nice bike". Now the question ain't which bike, since it was only Kickaha's 1906 Yamaha CoveredInCrapMachine^tm, Dangerous's VTR (okay looking bike until Dangerous is on it) and the SV. Nuff said.

Anyway, we all sat there, and after about 20 seconds and the realisation that the other two were in shock, i yelled out "yeah...cheers".

Classy eh. What would have been the KB approved response here? Aye Riff Raff?

[jrandom]

bit of a Sausage Fest here on KB though isnt it? Not quite the place id go looking for romance...

Well, you wouldn't *think* so, would you? Life's a funny thing, sometimes.

[jrandom]

Classy eh. What would have been the KB approved response here?

"Ta, luv! Fancy a shag?"

[Indiana_Jones]

Let's play hide the sasuage :Pokey:

-Indy

[manuboy]

Yeah, how did you two meet your partners again? Personally i plied mine with Ngahare Gold (legendary beer in these parts) - reduces reliance on personality / sense of humour / tight bod. I'm assuming from your replies you did something similar? :Oops:

[jrandom]

Yeah, how did you two meet your partners again?

Which two? Who two? To who?

[manuboy]

Which two? Who two? To who?

Sorry, the accused being your fine self in addition to Yamahaman...

[Ghost Lemur]

...Well i'm really looking for young broadmined girls, who will try anything once.

You realise all girls understand that that statement means only one of two things (or sometimes both).

1. You want to stick it in their batty.

and/or

2. You want them to bring their cute friend to play.


So why not be honest and let them know in advance which it is. :msn-wink: :lol:

[Hooks]

Which two? Who two? To who?
No you twit... to whit to woo ..... ;)

[Yamahamaman]

Sorry, the accused being your fine self in addition to Yamahaman...
Nope - never worked for me. Still trying but.

[jrandom]

Sorry, the accused being your fine self in addition to Yamahaman...

Er, right. How did I meet Mrs Random? When I was 14, via a mutual teenaged friend. She was a year older than me, and female, which was good enough for me at the time.

As the years passed I realised that she possessed sundry *other* virtues, so I drugged her and locked her in a cellar.

I pop down to breed once every year or two.

[Indiana_Jones]

Er, right. How did I meet Mrs Random? When I was 14, via a mutual teenaged friend. She was a year older than me, and female, which was good enough for me at the time.

As the years passed I realised that she possessed sundry *other* virtues, so I drugged her and locked her in a cellar.

I pop down to breed once every year or two.

aHAHAHAHHHAHHHHAHHHH :killingme

You are a legend

-Indy

[Wonko]

You realise all girls understand that that statement means only one of two things (or sometimes both).

1. You want to stick it in their batty.

and/or

2. You want them to bring their cute friend to play.


So why not be honest and let them know in advance which it is. :msn-wink: :lol:


I thought it meant you want to stick it in their cute friends batty.
;)

[moko]

I'm tall, dark, built and handsome. I am filthy rich with a high powered job at a successful law firm and will be able to satisfy any womens monetary needs and desires, however lavish. Naturally other 'needs' will also be generously met. I am an influential person who is well known and popular. I enjoy tallking but I pride myself in being a great listener.

Any takers?

Hey Dave,you forgot to mention your endearing modesty (though the self-deprecating username gives a clue).What woman could fail to be impressed by this go-getting sex-machine as he roars down the street to admiring looks from all and sundry on his FXR150?

[jrandom]

You know, guys, this has got me to thinking.

Poor old Aunty Riff Raff herself, while performing this selfless public service, is all alooooooone.

Nobody there besiiiiiiide her.

Etc.

Will no hunky, chunky, charming young biker lads step up to the plate and fill the empty place in her heart?

I shake my head and wipe away a tear in sadness at a world that can leave such a fine human being without companionship.

Shame on all you self-absorbed fools. Shame on you, I say!

[dangerous]

I know but one fine Sth Island day, three bikers arrived in Waiau, via Kaikoura inland road (one of the BEST). Under the shade of a leafy treelike specimen, we parked up.

A luvly luvly wee lady exited the dairy directly across the road, stood for a while staring in our direction, and then yelled out "hey! nice bike". Now the question ain't which bike, since it was only Kickaha's 1906 Yamaha CoveredInCrapMachine^tm, Dangerous's VTR (okay looking bike until Dangerous is on it) and the SV. Nuff said.

Anyway, we all sat there, and after about 20 seconds and the realisation that the other two were in shock, i yelled out "yeah...cheers".

Classy eh. What would have been the KB approved response here? Aye Riff Raff?
Now what manu is forgeting to say is he was behind the bikes and was hard to see from this young ladies perspective, and when he jumped up standing as erect as the giant woody that we were sitting under and blurted out (uncontrolably) "yeah...cheers" the young lady ran back inside the dairy :spudwhat: Manu sat back down and wiped the dribble from his chin........ and as far as the bikes go well, the mighty SV was hidden behind the VTR and CoveredInCrapMachine so her comments cant have been directed at his thing.... the clue here is boys, 'red' it gets them every time :moon:

[dangerous]

You know, guys, this has got me to thinking.

Poor old Aunty Riff Raff herself, while performing this selfless public service, is all alooooooone.

Nobody there besiiiiiiide her.

Etc.

Will no hunky, chunky, charming young biker lads step up to the plate and fill the empty place in her heart?

I shake my head and wipe away a tear in sadness at a world that can leave such a fine human being without companionship.

Shame on all you self-absorbed fools. Shame on you, I say!
Well thats not what I heard........ aye Riff Raff (sumened to were?) :) sneeky shamless lot bikers are :shifty:

[Riff Raff]

Poor old Aunty Riff Raff herself, while performing this selfless public service, is all alooooooone.

:angry2: Less of the OLD thank you! And Aunty Riff Raff is doing just fine thank you very much. Your concern is appreciated tho.


Will no hunky, chunky, charming young biker lads step up to the plate and fill the empty place in her heart?
:devil2:

[Ms Piggy]

Hey Dave,you forgot to mention your endearing modesty (though the self-deprecating username gives a clue).What woman could fail to be impressed by this go-getting sex-machine as he roars down the street to admiring looks from all and sundry on his FXR150?
This one here as I burn past him on my 250RS :laugh:

[James Deuce]

Er, right. How did I meet Mrs Random? When I was 14, via a mutual teenaged friend. She was a year older than me, and female, which was good enough for me at the time.

As the years passed I realised that she possessed sundry *other* virtues, so I drugged her and locked her in a cellar.

I pop down to breed once every year or two.

Err - every 9 months or so more like it!

[Riff Raff]

This one here as I burn past him on my 250RS :laugh:
:killingme :killingme :killingme :niceone:

[Lucyloo]

So much choice........

Never in one web site have there been so many eligible men....all of whom are quite obviously fine specimens....

Just HOW does one choose??????? ;)

[Ms Piggy]

I know but one fine Sth Island day, three bikers arrived in Waiau, via Kaikoura inland road (one of the BEST). Under the shade of a leafy treelike specimen, we parked up.

A luvly luvly wee lady exited the dairy directly across the road, stood for a while staring in our direction, and then yelled out "hey! nice bike". Now the question ain't which bike, since it was only Kickaha's 1906 Yamaha CoveredInCrapMachine^tm, Dangerous's VTR (okay looking bike until Dangerous is on it) and the SV. Nuff said.

Anyway, we all sat there, and after about 20 seconds and the realisation that the other two were in shock, i yelled out "yeah...cheers".

Classy eh. What would have been the KB approved response here? Aye Riff Raff?
So it is you I have to blame!! :sneaky2: Too busy leering at woman and taking the long way.

[crashe]

I have just had the best laugh in reading all this.... :lol:

You lads are looking in the wrong place....
and those pick up lines went out years ago.... :lol:

I note that no gals are putting anything up about themselves....
so that means that they are all taken.... :2thumbsup

So boys you will either have to stay single and go play with each other...
on ya bikes......lol.

So keep on riding safe out there........

[Lucyloo]

I note that no gals are putting anything up about themselves....
so that means that they are all taken.... :2thumbsup

.

Either that or we are just all so stunned by the quality of unattached men on this site...... :)

[manuboy]

So it is you I have to blame!! :sneaky2: Too busy leering at woman and taking the long way.

hey, don't look at me! i just followed them other two... the way Mr Kickaha kept trying to turn off down every side road, i thought he could see the "storm cloud" over christhcurch b4 we even left kaikoura?

[ajturbo]

So much choice........

Never in one web site have there been so many eligible men....all of whom are quite obviously fine specimens....

Just HOW does one choose??????? ;)

let them bring bottles of red around.... :whistle: :whistle:

[Riff Raff]

Classy eh. What would have been the KB approved response here? Aye Riff Raff?
Having looked carefully through this site, it would appear to be "How you doin?"

[Ms Piggy]

hey, don't look at me! i just followed them other two... the way Mr Kickaha kept trying to turn off down every side road, i thought he could see the "storm cloud" over christhcurch b4 we even left kaikoura?
There was a storm cloud alright. :Pokey:

[Lucyloo]

let them bring bottles of red around.... :whistle: :whistle:

Speaking of which.....that was very nice red thank you! ;)

[manuboy]

Having looked carefully through this site, it would appear to be "How you doin?"

Think that works pretty well when you have a studio audience and / or canned laughter. Looking like Joey probably helps too. After careful consideration the "cheers mate" southern man reply probably has more class then anything i've seen here.

Must have worked on CSL cos i doubt Kick came up with anything more romantic aye...

[Milky]

You know, guys, this has got me to thinking.

Poor old Aunty Riff Raff herself, while performing this selfless public service, is all alooooooone.

Nobody there besiiiiiiide her.

Etc.

Will no hunky, chunky, charming young biker lads step up to the plate and fill the empty place in her heart?

I shake my head and wipe away a tear in sadness at a world that can leave such a fine human being without companionship.

Shame on all you self-absorbed fools. Shame on you, I say!

:whistle: :love2:

[dangerous]

hey, don't look at me! i just followed them other two... the way Mr Kickaha kept trying to turn off down every side road, i thought he could see the "storm cloud" over christhcurch b4 we even left kaikoura?
yeah,yeah,yeah...... that was it, thats why we were so late at getting home it was Kick's fult :niceone: on ya Manu

[dangerous]

There was a storm cloud alright. :Pokey:
LMAO ohh.... you saw it too huh, then you will understand why Manu and myself had to follow Kick.

[Ms Piggy]

LMAO ohh.... you saw it too huh, then you will understand why Manu and myself had to follow Kick.
Is that b/c you thought a few lightening bolts might stray & hit you too? :stoogie:

[toads]

Er, right. How did I meet Mrs Random? When I was 14, via a mutual teenaged friend. She was a year older than me, and female, which was good enough for me at the time.

As the years passed I realised that she possessed sundry *other* virtues, so I drugged her and locked her in a cellar.

I pop down to breed once every year or two.

hehehe you're a funny fullah

[Kickaha]

Personally i plied mine with Ngahare Gold (legendary beer in these parts) - reduces reliance on personality / sense of humour / tight bod.


Keeping her pissed would be the only way she would put up with you,I pity her the day she finally sobers up.

[Milky]

Sounds like this is a recurring theme amongst KBers.... I wonder what causes the strange affliction

[Mars]

I know but one fine Sth Island day, three bikers arrived in Waiau, via Kaikoura inland road (one of the BEST). Under the shade of a leafy treelike specimen, we parked up.

A luvly luvly wee lady exited the dairy directly across the road, stood for a while staring in our direction, and then yelled out "hey! nice bike". Now the question ain't which bike, since it was only Kickaha's 1906 Yamaha CoveredInCrapMachine^tm, Dangerous's VTR (okay looking bike until Dangerous is on it) and the SV. Nuff said.

Anyway, we all sat there, and after about 20 seconds and the realisation that the other two were in shock, i yelled out "yeah...cheers".

Classy eh. What would have been the KB approved response here? Aye Riff Raff?
You know - if the wee lady was gutzy enough to linger a stare and yell a compliment at one or all of you three, she probably would have responded favourably to a sincere "thanks! wanna ride?". Or not.

[Indiana_Jones]

"Only the lonely....." :weep:

-Indy

[Posh Tourer :P]

So much choice........

Never in one web site have there been so many eligible men....all of whom are quite obviously fine specimens....

Just HOW does one choose??????? ;)

Eeny meeny miny mo?

[Lucyloo]

Eeny meeny miny mo?

So which one are you.....eeny, meeny, miny or mo? ;)

[Posh Tourer :P]

You want me don't you.....

You just cant bring yourself to admit that you want a BMW rider....

[Yokai]

$10 = a 30 mins phone call
$20 = a movie date
$50 = a one night stand
$100 = a call back
$200 = a weekend romance
$500 = a short term partner


.... also

$100 withdrawl every week = marriage
$200/wk = marriage with kids
$500/wk = marriage, kids and councilling or divorce, kids and councilling

Shouldn't that read:

Movie Date ...... $20
Weekend Romance ....... $200
Short Term Partner ...... $500

Not having to beat yourself off ...... priceless.


????

[Posh Tourer :P]

Oh and I'm certainly not eeny or meeny..... :P

[jrandom]

Oh and I'm certainly not eeny or meeny..... :P

You're not very mo, either.

[Lucyloo]

You want me don't you.....

You just cant bring yourself to admit that you want a BMW rider....

Oh no...my dirty little secret is out.....yes, it's true......

My name is Lucyloo and I am addicted to BMW riders...... :laugh:

Please someone help me..........

[Riff Raff]

Oh no...my dirty little secret is out.....yes, it's true......

My name is Lucyloo and I am addicted to BMW riders...... :laugh:

Please someone help me..........
I'm afraid there is no hope... :no:

[Hitcher]

Just had a great idea. How about we organise a KB speed dating thingumijigeewhatsit.

So everyone turns up on bikes and maybe the girlies line up along the road and each boy has to race down the road, do a wheelie as he goes past, then turn round and do a stoppie, chat for 5 minutes then move on to the next one. Then the boys and girls can swap around.
Since we probably don't have as many single girlies on here as we have guys, perhaps Quasi could provide some of his Fembots.
OMG! Le Mans start speed dating. The mind truly boggles...

[Lucyloo]

I'm afraid there is no hope... :no:

Aaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!!! Noooooooo!
Don't say that!!!!!!
There must be something.......counselling......drugs......Drugs? ??? Now there's a thought! :yes:

[Kwaka-Kid]

Aaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!!! Noooooooo!
Don't say that!!!!!!
There must be something.......counselling......drugs......Drugs? ??? Now there's a thought! :yes:
Didnt think they brought hard enough drugs into NZ to help you with that one.

[FROSTY]

Hi -My names XJ and im addicted to women in tight leathers.
If said leathers are draped over a decent sports bike all the better
Now if said woman can also ride well then I'm in love.
If said woman is also a fast race rider too -Yep ill propose on the spot.
sorry mitch yep it was me sent the wedding ring on valentines day. day :killingme :killingme :killingme

[Kwaka-Kid]

a decent sports bike
sorry mitch
She rides a blimmin gixxer400!!! hahahaha! :P cant be her! (least i know she wont read this considering she aint ever around anymore! shessh, get here mitch)

[MadDuck]

Anyhoo this whole thread has had me in a fit of laughter! I only just heard about this today at the racetrack of all places...:scooter:

errr, its a bit of a Sausage Fest here on KB though isnt it? Not quite the place id go looking for romance...:no: -but what do i know im only young

I havent been around for a wee bit and this thread made me laugh tooooo.

BUT KK do not admit you young unless you want the older chicks chasing toy boys to hunt you down :stoogie:

[Riff Raff]

BUT KK do not admit you young unless you want the older chicks chasing toy boys to hunt you down :stoogie:
:msn-wink: he he he

[Yokai]

BUT KK do not admit you young unless you want the older chicks chasing toy boys to hunt you down :stoogie:

Gotta say that KKs got the guts to ask what to do if he doesn't know.... and that's a big wein... winner with the ladies. Since I met him, he's apparently learned to stroke the shaft in, rather than just poke at it! That right, KK?

[MadDuck]

Gotta say that KKs got the guts to ask what to do if he doesn't know.... and that's a big wein... winner with the ladies. Since I met him, he's apparently learned to stroke the shaft in, rather than just poke at it! That right, KK?


Blardy Hell (it was a joke) ..we reading the same thread Yokai or have I been away too long?

[Kwaka-Kid]

Gotta say that KKs got the guts to ask what to do if he doesn't know.... and that's a big wein... winner with the ladies. Since I met him, he's apparently learned to stroke the shaft in, rather than just poke at it! That right, KK?
What did i do wrong? i dont get it! my bad im sorry and i wont do it again..:mellow:

huh?

hey, is that a pisstake?! :blink:

And Yokai - who have you been talkin to? :S who do you know?:mellow:

uh oh! btw dude hook us up with webbie stuff :D

[gav]

Ladies, looks like our own White Trash has his own dating site!
You can't resist can ya? (http://www.whitetrashdates.com/)

[Ghost Lemur]

Ladies, looks like our own White Trash has his own dating site!
You can't resist can ya? (http://www.whitetrashdates.com/)

Looks like NC30 heaven doesn't it. :lol:

[R6_kid]

it has been said that there is a good looking young lass that works at a particular mens clothing store on the north shore that is reported as having said "my dream guy is one that rides a motorbike"


lets say first in first served :laugh:

now which shop... only i know mwahahaha

i am yet to drop her a visit, the GF250 special dont have much pulling power, but once the ZXR is complete i'll be there in second.

Also there is a nice blondy that works in amazon in glenfield mall, likes bikes. Not giving details... now we'll see who has the balls to go in and ask... just dont say i told you :niceone:

sorted guys?

[scumdog]

The summer of '73
12 doz Bavarian Bitter - $1.97
'71 3.3 Vauxhall Victor - $3,200
Cool green jungle hat - $2.30
Result? meet extra spunky hot for me 17-year-old
AND....

Long term result?

The best wife in the world - after 26 year wait - and worth EVERY second dudes!!!

[Kwaka-Kid]

Looks like NC30 heaven doesn't it. :lol:
WHAT?! hey what when where?! oi you ought be happy your bikes currently already broken there boy! :P otherwise it just might have been by me! :bash: :sly:

[dangerous]

The summer of '73
12 doz Bavarian Bitter - $1.97
'71 3.3 Vauxhall Victor - $3,200
Cool green jungle hat - $2.30
Result? meet extra spunky hot for me 17-year-old
AND....

Long term result?

The best wife in the world - after 26 year wait - and worth EVERY second dudes!!!
awesome shit aye....... I had me one of them 3.3's shit they could do some hell burnouts aye Scum, but I had mine in the 80's sometime when I was 17 used to belong to Rangi in Gizzy had 4x2's under the rear springs.

[Riff Raff]

Ladies, looks like our own White Trash has his own dating site!
You can't resist can ya? (http://www.whitetrashdates.com/)
Dang - I did a search and there aint no purdy Noo Zealand boys n gals for me to be a hookin up with!

[Posh Tourer :P]

Boys *and* gals??

[Lucyloo]

Didnt think they brought hard enough drugs into NZ to help you with that one.

I don't know...but I feel duty bound to try them all to see if any will work....... ;) .....there may well be others like me out there that will need help too!

[Riff Raff]

Boys *and* gals??
Well iff'n I wuz a lookin in a white trash datin thingee, I'da probably be too stoopid to know a difference - ah well, ma cuzzins will have to do...

[Riff Raff]

I don't know...but I feel duty bound to try them all to see if any will work....... ;) .....there may well be others like me out there that will need help too!
Your only hope is total mind reconditioning - the boys in white coats will be round soon to take you to some secret destination where you will be bombarded with pics, vids, sounds of ducatis, and you will spend your entire time there sitting, sleeping etc on a ducati. Once you see the light you will be allowed out in public on a ducati, wearing ducati leathers, sunglasses, g-string etc. You will be renamed Lynda Blair... :devil2:

[Lucyloo]

Your only hope is total mind reconditioning - the boys in white coats will be round soon to take you to some secret destination where you will be bombarded with pics, vids, sounds of ducatis, and you will spend your entire time there sitting, sleeping etc on a ducati. Once you see the light you will be allowed out in public on a ducati, wearing ducati leathers, sunglasses, g-string etc. You will be renamed Lynda Blair... :devil2:

Ducati....ah, those were the days.....I used to ride pillion on a Ducati monster....lovely!!!!!
Hey, I think I might be getting over it already!!!!! :laugh:

[aff-man]

it has been said that there is a good looking young lass that works at a particular mens clothing store on the north shore that is reported as having said "my dream guy is one that rides a motorbike"
lets say first in first served :laugh:
now which shop... only i know mwahahaha
i am yet to drop her a visit, the GF250 special dont have much pulling power, but once the ZXR is complete i'll be there in second.
Also there is a nice blondy that works in amazon in glenfield mall, likes bikes. Not giving details... now we'll see who has the balls to go in and ask... just dont say i told you :niceone:
sorted guys?

Right you pitch up on the 250 and i'll follow on the 400 to sweep her off her feet(literally) from under your nose :moon: :killingme :killingme :killingme .

Hmmmmm so which lucky lady will be counting down new years with me.... :innocent: :killingme :killingme :killingme

[dangerous]

Right you pitch up on the 250 and i'll follow on the 400 to sweep her off her feet(literally) from under your nose :moon: :killingme :killingme :killingme .
LMAO well done but........ dito little 4 hundie :moon: :moon: :killingme :killingme :killingme

[Yokai]

Hmmmmm so which lucky lady will be counting down new years with me....
LUCKY?????!!!! Good grief - surely that should read "which braindead, bike loving guide dog will drag their female owner to spend New Year's with me?"

(J/k aff-man!! - have a good one)

[Indiana_Jones]

where's my bike riding honey? :banana:

-Indy

[Riff Raff]

Right, I've noticed that there are now a few luscious ladies who are enjoying singledom life again. And I've also noticed that a number of threads are being hijacked for the purposes of chatting said ladies up! :Oi: get it all back in here where it belongs!!! The romance of the century might not happen if these star-crossed lovers keep missing each other in other threads!

[WINJA]

I HAVE BAD LUCK WITH THE BITCHES SO CAN SOMEONE POINT ME TO A GOOD PORN SITE

[Slingshot]

I HAVE BAD LUCK WITH THE BITCHES SO CAN SOMEONE POINT ME TO A GOOD PORN SITE
www.thehun.com (http://www.thehun.com) is a popular choice.

[Slipstream]

I HAVE BAD LUCK WITH THE BITCHES SO CAN SOMEONE POINT ME TO A GOOD PORN SITE
You know...for the life of me, I can't think why that would be? :mellow:

[WINJA]

www.thehun.com (http://www.thehun.com) is a popular choice.
http://www.bangkokcowboy.com/ TRY THIS ONE

[Al]

Aaaah, WINJA wants to have his own BITCH instead of being someones BITCH :moon:

Al

[WINJA]

Aaaah, WINJA wants to have his own BITCH instead of being someones BITCH :moon:

Al
ARE YOU OFFERING??? :Pokey:

[Al]

Nah, not while you still have all of your undiagnosed diseases :sick:

Al

[Al]

Riff raff, you're famous, girl!

See it on the television every day
Hear it on the radio
It ain't humid but it sure is hot
Down in Mexico
The boy is trying to tell me
Near enough to the edge (beginning of the end)
Say they've all been there
Too late my friend

Riff raff
Always good for a laugh (ha ha ha)
Riff raff
Go on, laugh yourself in half

(Smile awhile)

Now I'm the kind of guy who keeps his big mouth shut
Don't bother me
Somebody give me one arm up
Leave me in misery
I've never shot nobody
Don't even carry a gun
I ain't done nothing wrong
I'm just having fun

Riff raff
Always good for a laugh
Riff raff
Go on, laugh yourself in half

(thanks to AC/DC) :rockon:

Hope your neck gets the attention it needs, have you tried acupuncture (sp) and/or some of the other alternative therapies available? Biggest problem with the alt therapies is that many are not recognised by ACC (yet)!
Get well soon

Al

[Riff Raff]

Ladies, ladies! Step right up ladies.
I have pleasure in introducing a fine specimen of, erm, umm, er....... I have pleasure in introducing Hooks.

Hooks loves entertaining, cooking (he's a chef), riding motorbikes, putting up waifs and strays for the night, ummmm, did I mention that he's a chef, ummm, oh yeah he can also do excellent face plants from a wheelbarrow!

He comes with four house trained gnomes, his own burnout pad, a set of Ginzu steak knives, and a wheelbarrow!

If he sounds like the man for you, please take yourself to the nearest psychiatric evaluation unit and obtain a clearance before proceeding to PM this delectable man thing!

Edit: I forgot to mention - he's an absolute sweetheart too!

[James Deuce]

He's a very good drummer too!

[Redstar]

Hi ladies I'm Redstar.. When I'm not doing Charity for homeless kittens,poor things! I go for 100Klm runs to keep me fit and trim. The boat keeps me busy what with all the Staff training and stuff. My Butler Sven keeps my Lamborgini in order back at my Ranch in Long Island.

I like walks on the Beach at sunset and a Don Perineon with my Cavier and I only frequent this site for the chance of meeting the perfect Miss right someone who shares a common interest in Bikes, Silly I know but well one day I'll find the perfect one!

Did I mention the Poor Kittens?

PS I have a great sense of humour and play little pranks like farting in Bed thats funny and the smell of my feet that's to die for! and I like to..never mind :bleh:

[StoneChucker]

I'm StoneChucker

Every week after I get my dole check, I head straight for the bottle store. I spend it all on cheap white wine, and get trashed behind the dumpster behind the bottle store. The police usually take me away, to sober up in the cells over night. I am happy to let a women sit with me, but she ain't getting none of my wine, so don't even think of asking!

I spend the rest of the week dodging the baycorp people, and my 3 ex's, who all want thier alimony cheques. I used to have a cheque book, but the pages were real good for rolling spliffs. I like fine food, but I'll eat whatever I find (this I am willing to share, with the right person).

Every Sunday I hitchhike to the top of the Takas, and reminisce over the time I used to have a bike. This doesn't last long, as the people I used to ride with usually get pissed with my sitting on their bikes, and tell me to hit the road. About this time, I take a dump on a blind corner to exact my revenge.

I'm looking for someone who can see past the smell of urea, and someone who thinks matted hair is cool. Experience in petty crime would be an advantage.

Open mindedness would be great, as the Wellington homeless community is big into swinging.

[Skunk]

Good Evening,

I smell like shit, got no money (my wife has it all), and the bike is a piece of shit.

I drink too much, can't hold down a job and fucked if I'm walking anywhere.

If you're happy in the kitchen and doing me washing give me a call.

:done:

[Riff Raff]

I'm StoneChucker..... etc
Why I just done been readin this, and now I'm hornier than a cow with one of them there arms with da big plastic sleeve on it shoved up it's bum. Jeez Stonechucker if it weren't for ....um.... something... I'd be hotfooting it to your door right now! :love:

[StoneChucker]

Why I just done been readin this, and now I'm hornier than a cow with one of them there arms with da big plastic sleeve on it shoved up it's bum. Jeez Stonechucker if it weren't for ....um.... something... I'd be hotfooting it to your door right now! :love:

That would be a long hotfoot... Hitchhiking is alot easier, especially if you have the legs for it. Noone stops when I show a little thigh?????
(well, except this one trucker, thats another story)

mwuahahaha

[inlinefour]

Been looking at your profile picture. Wanting to know that if someone gets to know you, do you loan yer bike out to em? Was hoping for a picture of you because at the moment I think the money would have to be on NC30 chick (provided that she does not mind lending her bike), as she has shown herself to us all through her profile. However I'm sure all single guys out there will have a pretty open mind :baby:

[NC]

I HAVE BAD LUCK WITH THE BITCHES SO CAN SOMEONE POINT ME TO A GOOD PORN SITE
You have to have a huge wanger AND know how to use it... :shutup:

[Riff Raff]

Been looking at your profile picture. Wanting to know that if someone gets to know you, do you loan yer bike out to em? Was hoping for a picture of you because at the moment I think the money would have to be on NC30 chick (provided that she does not mind lending her bike), as she has shown herself to us all through her profile. However I'm sure all single guys out there will have a pretty open mind :baby:
There's enough pics of me scattered round the site that I don't need one on my profile. And I'm not actually "on the market" so it's neither here nor there. And I did lend Two Smoker my bike....

[MadDuck]

wow Riff it appears the KB site is just chocker with (ahem) sexy eligible batchelors......brings a tear to the eye really :doobey:

[FROSTY]

giday--moaning pommy shit here. looking for a woman to cook and clean for me. I cant ride I cant sing and in bed its a disaster zone.
Ohh my son is also nicknamesd bart simpson and lives up to the reputation.
must be able to repair fairings cos I crash a lot

[aff-man]

giday--moaning pommy shit here. looking for a woman to cook and clean for me. I cant ride I cant sing and in bed its a disaster zone.
Ohh my son is also nicknamesd bart simpson and lives up to the reputation.
must be able to repair fairings cos I crash a lot

Thought you were taken :bleh: :bleh: :Pokey: :eek5: . Let us younger fella's have a go :rolleyes: :laugh: :laugh:

[FROSTY]

yea well sunshine--Its a hard road finding the perfect woman.
She said that gargres are for boys and are dirty places
WTF -a woman scared to get her hands dirty :ar15:

[WINJA]

You have to have a huge wanger AND know how to use it... :shutup:
WELL IM OUTA LUCK THEN CAUSE IM HUNG LIKE A SPARROW :laugh:

[NC]

wow Riff it appears the KB site is just chocker with (ahem) sexy eligible batchelors......
That's the biggest load of crap that I have ever read!



:sly:

[NC]

WELL IM OUTA LUCK THEN CAUSE IM HUNG LIKE A SPARROW :laugh:
I'm sure sparrows are just as offened as I am by that comment....:laugh:

[PuppetMaster]

Brad Pitt lookalike seeks Super Model with open minded twin sister, ideally owns a brewery and grows own weed.

[WINJA]

I'm sure sparrows are just as offened as I am by that comment....:laugh:
ITS NOT THE SIZE OF THE CHISEL THAT COUNTS ITS THE WEIGHT OF THE HAMMER HITTING THAT CHISEL, I MIGHT BE HUNG LIKE A SPARROW BUT I GOT OVER 100KG TO BANG THAT FUCKER HOME :laugh: :buggerd:

[Joni]

ITS NOT THE SIZE OF THE CHISEL THAT COUNTS ITS THE WEIGHT OF THE HAMMER HITTING THAT CHISEL, I MIGHT BE HUNG LIKE A SPARROW BUT I GOT OVER 100KG TO BANG THAT FUCKER HOME :laugh: :buggerd:

Ah well then, that just changes everything doesn't it.... :tugger:

:laugh: :laugh:

[aff-man]

ITS NOT THE SIZE OF THE CHISEL THAT COUNTS ITS THE WEIGHT OF THE HAMMER HITTING THAT CHISEL, I MIGHT BE HUNG LIKE A SPARROW BUT I GOT OVER 100KG TO BANG THAT FUCKER HOME :laugh: :buggerd:

Not the size of the wave...... it's the motion of the ocean

Havn't heard your one hahahaha

[Skunk]

Shite... :apint:

[Riff Raff]

With all the fine specimen's of ... um... whatever here, it's a wonder all us girlies haven't ditched our blokes and run off with one of these... ahem... man things! :Pokey:

[aff-man]

With all the fine specimen's of ... um... whatever here, it's a wonder all us girlies haven't ditched our blokes and run off with one of these... ahem... man things! :Pokey:

You cut me deep... cut me deep just now...... :bleh: :bleh: :bleh: :bleh:

[aff-man]

This song just came on hahahahah


I love myself I want you to love me
When I feel down I want you above me
I search myself I want you to find me
I forget myself I want you to remind me

I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
Ooh I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

You're the one who makes me come running
You're the sun who makes me shine
When you're around I'm always laughing
I want to make you mine

I close my eyes And see you before me
Think I would die If you were to ignore me
A fool could see Just how much I adore you
I get down on my knees I do anything for you

I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
Ooh I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

I want you I don't want anybody else
And when I think about you I touch myself
Ooh, ooh, oo, oo ahh

I don't want anybody else When I think about you
I touch myself Ooh I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

[WINJA]

Ah well then, that just changes everything doesn't it.... :tugger:

:laugh: :laugh:
YES IT DOES AND STOP LOOKING IN MY WINDOWS :nono:

[MadDuck]

That's the biggest load of crap that I have ever read!



:sly:

Maybe you should read with your eyes closed then :devil2:

[Lou Girardin]

You know a relationship ATM (Automatic Teller Machine) is a great idea :eek:
You could put your card in and instead of pressing a button for a money amount, you press one for type the of relationship.

Makes sense really:yes: the money you spend = the relationship you get.

$10 = a 30 mins phone call
$20 = a movie date
$50 = a one night stand
$100 = a call back
$200 = a weekend romance
$500 = a short term partner

:innocent:
.... also

$100 withdrawl every week = marriage
$200/wk = marriage with kids
$500/wk = marriage, kids and councilling or divorce, kids and councilling

:whistle:

I wonder where internet dating would be priced????:sweatdrop

What century are you in?
$100 a week for marriage?
$500 for kids, divorce etc?
Absolute bargains.

[Slipstream]

WTF -a woman scared to get her hands dirty :ar15:

She's obviously not polishing enough ............:Oops:

[Slipstream]

What century are you in?
$100 a week for marriage?
$500 for kids, divorce etc?
Absolute bargains.

Wow ... that's an old post :D

Artistic licence .... you are completley correct of course ... but sometimes people don't really want to remember the actual amount of these things .... unless the're busy trying to correct me ..... :D

[NC]

ITS NOT THE SIZE OF THE CHISEL THAT COUNTS ITS THE WEIGHT OF THE HAMMER HITTING THAT CHISEL, I MIGHT BE HUNG LIKE A SPARROW BUT I GOT OVER 100KG TO BANG THAT FUCKER HOME :laugh: :buggerd:
Oh, so you have a "mound" :blink:

[cowpoos]

Hi My NaMe Is PooS....aNd I'm A SInglE FarMa...I'M a Nice mAn anD LovE The EnviRomENT....I CanT BeliEve I'm SIngLe I HaVE alOT tO oFfer th3 RighT woOmAn

PleaSe PM m3 YoUr DesiRe's In A M4N...Or condoLENcEs :stoogie:

[Indiana_Jones]

Single, damn sexy and cool as ice :D

*dances to 'Disco Inferno'*

-Indy

[Swoop]

Single, damn sexy and cool as ice :D

*dances to 'Disco Inferno'*

-Indy
Who's the strange face-slapper in your avatar though???:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Indiana_Jones]

Who's the strange face-slapper in your avatar though???:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

You're just jealous :D

-Indy

[SpeedyGirl]

With all the fine specimen's of ... um... whatever here, it's a wonder all us girlies haven't ditched our blokes and run off with one of these... ahem... man things! :Pokey:

....um.... fine specimens???? What posts have I been reading, did I miss something????:nya:

[Indiana_Jones]

....um.... fine specimens???? What posts have I been reading, did I miss something????:nya:

I'm a fine specimen, Ha, ha! Stinky pits and all, baby! :D

-Indy

[Swoop]

Hmmm, specimens...

Isn't there a jar for keeping these in???

[yungatart]

Hmmm, specimens...

Isn't there a jar for keeping these in???
I'm sure I have one of those lying around here somewhere, hXc had one when he was 3-he used to store his verbal diarrhoea in it! There must be enough room for all this shit in there too- well maybe not....

[strayjuliet]

FREE to good home - ah, on second thought, any home will do. I am offering somebody a nice Wolf who likes to dress in sheeps clothing from time to time, and sprays the furniture often, but other than that he is sort of house trained. Can cook, has bad habit of leaving toilet seat up (but I've found a good telling off and taking his favorite meal off the menu normally solves this problem) other faults are: deaf as a post (suffers from male selective hearing) and blind as a bat (unless you are blocking his veiw of the tv set wearing the latest BMW Motorbike.) He has a nice gentle nature, likes being petted often, in need of a little tlc (not too much as it will spoil him.) Reason for giving him away? Well I would like to upgrade to a younger model and also nobody would pay for him. :devil2:

[SpeedyGirl]

FREE to good home - ah, on second thought, any home will do. I am offering somebody a nice Wolf who likes to dress in sheeps clothing from time to time, and sprays the furniture often, but other than that he is sort of house trained. Can cook, has bad habit of leaving toilet seat up (but I've found a good telling off and taking his favorite meal off the menu normally solves this problem) other faults are: deaf as a post (suffers from male selective hearing) and blind as a bat (unless you are blocking his veiw of the tv set wearing the latest BMW Motorbike.) He has a nice gentle nature, likes being petted often, in need of a little tlc (not too much as it will spoil him.) Reason for giving him away? Well I would like to upgrade to a younger model and also nobody would pay for him. :devil2:


Just leave the Wolf out on the side of the footpath with a 'FREE" sign..... someone is bound to take him away :rofl:

[Wonko]

Just leave the Wolf out on the side of the footpath with a 'FREE" sign..... someone is bound to take him away :rofl:

No, put Wolf out there with a sign saying "$100 Please leave money in letterbox" Before you can close the door someone will have nicked him.

[Wolf]

No, put Wolf out there with a sign saying "$100 Please leave money in letterbox" Before you can close the door someone will have nicked him.
and the letterbox...