Would you shag someone else's partner?

[jrandom]

Jorja's recent 'Unwanted attention' thread brought the above question to mind, and I'm interested to hear the general position of the KB population on the relevant ethical issues, such as they are.

Let's say you're personally unattached, suffering from chronic blue balls (or the feminine equivalent) and a married (or otherwise 'officially committed') person of the appropriate gender whom you find attractive offers you a go.

Do you:

A. Happily proceed with getting your rocks off, reasoning that you can offload moral responsibility onto the 'taken' individual - after all, you owe nothing to their cheated-upon partner, and whatever shit goes down in that relationship is none of your concern, or

B. Refuse in horror on the basis that you do not wish to be any sort of accomplice in such dastardly carryings-on, even if nobody whom you made a promise to is getting screwed over?

Ladies and gentlemen, your opinions, please.

[Dooly]

Could'nt be bothered rootin around tbh. Pretty settled in life now, and am an old cunt kinda, and could'nt be bothered with all the bullshit fall out, divorce, sell property, divide up shit etc etc etc if caught or found out.

[Trudes]

Isn't this a bit like this (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=66096&highlight=monogamy) or this? (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=64932&highlight=monogamy)
Maybe not? But I feel it's been done before.....

[RantyDave]

Interesting post, Mr Random. It's a toughie.

I don't think I would. Or, rather, I would take some significant convincing that 'it would all be OK' and I wasn't going to find a horses' head in bed as a result. It depends on who we're talking about, I guess.

Dave

[Edbear]

Well, of course I couldn't really comment...

[_Gina_]

Technically, I have done the deed once - and once was enough to tell this smart chicky that it's not the go.
You might end up with the guy/chick, but karma is a muthafarka people. :msn-wink:

[oldrider]

Could'nt be bothered rootin around tbh. Pretty settled in life now, and am an old cunt kinda, and could'nt be bothered with all the bullshit fall out, divorce, sell property, divide up shit etc etc etc if caught or found out.

Like he said it's a learned behaviour!

Remember the adage: A standing prick hath no conscience!

Young men generally have to learn how to handle these situations and most of us learn the hard way. (pardon the pun) :blip: Cheers, John.

[ManDownUnder]

Looks remarkably like Dan's building a "who do I hit on" list.

Ladies for Dan, Guys for Carver...

[DingoZ]

Nah fuck that. No pun intended. My partner means more to me, than a quick shag.

[_Gina_]

Guys for Carver...
NWS!!!! carver - your secret's safe with me mate... (http://images.google.co.nz/images?hl=en&q=carver+ty&gbv=2)
Dude, I seriously nearly died of stomach cramp from laughing...albeit once I turned my "moderately safe search" function off... :shit:

[ManDownUnder]

NWS!!!! carver - your secret's safe with me mate... (http://images.google.co.nz/images?hl=en&q=carver+ty&gbv=2)
Dude, I seriously nearly died of stomach cramp from laughing...albeit once I turned my "moderately safe search" function off... :shit:

But you have to admit Ace looks like a nice boy - and so very happy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay)

[faredce]

interesting poll.
im only 20 and am a uni student where it is an easy environment to do most anything in reguards to ur choices on the poll, but i personally have never cheated on a girlfriend nor have i been with someone causing them to cheat. mayb i learnt from my parents or mayb im just soft in the middle but i like being with my girlfriends and would only move onto a different partner once the previous girlfriend phase is finished. monogomy seems to be the most moral and satisfying choice for me personally, i have numerous friends who in their machoism believe otherwise.

plus nobody needs the shit that can result in multiply partners without consent, thats just unwanted stress in my opinion

[Mikkel]

Isn't this a bit like this (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=66096&highlight=monogamy) or this? (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=64932&highlight=monogamy)
Maybe not? But I feel it's been done before.....

It is, except this time we get to evaluate it in mono-chrome.

This subject is a bit too complicated and delicate for this kind of treatment IMHO.

Depending on how you choose to read the first post many people would have to check every option.

[Big Dave]

Your kinda partner and I'd have to check my credit card balance first.

[Matt Bleck]

How would feel about your partner shagging someone behind your back?

[HenryDorsetCase]

Your kinda partner and I'd have to check my credit card balance first.

one might suggest checking your penicillin stocks after, if one was crass.

[CookMySock]

You don't mention consent. Without consent, itsa bad idea. Its cheating/stealing.

DB

[Toaster]

It's a very bad idea. Trouble breeds trouble.

[ManDownUnder]

How would feel about your partner shagging someone behind your back?

Considering the level of daily involvement at home I'd be mightily pissed off - and somewhat left out...

[ManDownUnder]

You don't mention consent. Without consent, itsa bad idea. Its cheating/stealing.

DB

Amend that to both without consent or with intent and I think you're getting close...

[Maha]

Depending on how you choose to read the first post many people would have to check every option.

I read it very carefully and reminded me of something I heard (should you ever beleive what you are hear?) two weeks ago. Someone I know attempted this very senario not so long ago. Someones partner was 'not around' (shall we say?) and the first someone visited the partner that 'was home' (shall we say?) with a sack full (shall we say?).....cant say anymore, but thats only what I heard...;)

[ManDownUnder]

Someones partner was 'not around' (shall we say?) and the first someone visited the partner that 'was home' (shall we say?) with a sack full (shall we say?).....cant say anymore, but thats only what I heard...;)

Not true. She wasn't married and I... err...oops..

[Tank]

You don't mention consent. Without consent, itsa bad idea. Its cheating/stealing.


Actually without consent its called rape.


But whatever it takes huh.


(p/t even if its in poor taste)

[jrandom]

Isn't this a bit like this (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=66096&highlight=monogamy) or this? (http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/showthread.php?t=64932&highlight=monogamy)
Maybe not? But I feel it's been done before.....

Nope; I reviewed previous discussions before posting this thread.

The question here isn't what model of relationship behaviour one prefers for oneself; it's about whether one would feel comfortable facilitating certain behaviours for others, without betraying any promises of one's own.

I suppose I should have anticipated people failing to comprehend my precise thrust.

Sigh.

:wacko:

Hur, hur, I said 'thrust'.

[CookMySock]

Actually without consent its called rape. But whatever it takes huh. (p/t even if its in poor taste)Yes, well, JUST TO MAKE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR then, I meant their (and my) PARTNERS consent. It goes without saying that the other person consented.

Yes haha Tank, It was a pisstake I know.. but just so there's no misunderstanding. ok. cool.

Nice comeback ok ;) Gawd you have been remarkably reserved on this can of worms. I'm amazed! ;)

DB

[jrandom]

This subject is a bit too complicated and delicate for this kind of treatment IMHO.

In other words, you ticked either the second or fourth poll options.

;)

Next please!

[Tank]

OK - now for my serious answer.

In the other thread I mentioned its about respect - for yourself, your partner, your relationship, and your family.

Ultimately it will always cause hurt and pain.

So would I do it? No. and to be honest I could never retain respect for someone that did.

[ManDownUnder]

I suppose I should have anticipated people failing to comprehend my precise thrust.

I'm surprised you actually expected honest admissions of guilt from respondents potentially exposing themselves to incredibly serious consequences.

(and I said exposing themselves)

[Mikkel]

In other words, you ticked either the second or fourth poll options.

Who said I bothered voting yet? :rolleyes:

I think I shall check option 4 simply to expand your opinion of me as a person with neither tact nor decency - now you can add amoral and evil as well... :cool:

[jrandom]

I'm surprised you actually expected honest admissions of guilt from respondents potentially exposing themselves to incredibly serious consequences.

Well, Mental Pants being the only individual who knows who voted for what, I wouldn't be too worried about incredibly serious consequences.

If he ever wanted to sniff out the cheatin' scoundrels on the forum, a quick automated search through PM text would probably reveal all sorts of golden nuggets.

:laugh:

[Whynot]

probably ....
If i was single and she wasn't a bush pig :puke:

[Maha]

Not true. She wasn't married and I... err...oops..

Close but no cigar....who mentioned Monica??

[007XX]

:wacko:

Hur, hur, I said 'thrust'.

*gasp* he said thrust...:clap:

Anyway...I was once the "Other Woman", and I would never, ever do something like that again.
I was single, he wasn't...although he was apparently sleeping in different rooms as his partner, blah, blah, blah...Age old story.

I'm not making excuses, I knew what I was doing, the sex was fantastic, and yes, I felt like shit for his partner, and ended the relationship after 2 months of sneaking around.

Would I do it again: Hell NO!!!

There are few things worse than cheating in my books. Bottom line is, I'd hate to have it happen to me. And I am also now in the kind of relationship that I'd do everything in my power to protect, because I am happy with it on all levels.

It's just not worth it!

[nodrog]

dont prostitutes do this day in and day out? its not up to them to justify, or understand their clients actions, they arent the ones cheating.

[jrandom]

Who said I bothered voting yet? :rolleyes:

If you think that I failed to provide sufficient shades of grey in the poll options, then you are obviously not completely averse to facilitating the behaviours of which I speak, and should therefore, if you vote, check either option 2 or option 4.


I think I shall check option 4...

Well, there y'go, then. Just so long as you're not fibbing; I'd prefer it if the poll results reflected reality.

[007XX]

Close but no cigar....who mentioned Monica??

OH for goodness sakes...her dry cleaner was just not a very good one, ok? :rolleyes:

[Mikkel]

I'm surprised you actually expected honest admissions of guilt from respondents potentially exposing themselves to incredibly serious consequences.

So now we've gone from entertaining a grossly simplified discussion of an interesting but complicated subject to passing judgment upon those that does not conform with our personal beliefs of right an wrong.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't see that coming...

[ManDownUnder]

Close but no cigar....who mentioned Monica??

Hillary ?

[Tank]

I just dont have enough wife to share.

http://english.pravda.ru/img/idb/belly-2.jpg

[Whynot]

I just dont have enough wife to share.

http://english.pravda.ru/img/idb/belly-2.jpg

like this for example

[007XX]

So now we've gone from entertaining a grossly simplified discussion of an interesting but complicated subject to passing judgment upon those that does not conform with our personal beliefs of right an wrong.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't see that coming...

Meh...it's what makes the conversation interesting.

Personally, I don't give a hoot what other people think about me, hence the fact I'm quite happy to be completely honnest. My conscience is clear, and I sleep very well at night...that's when I'm being left to sleep, of course :devil2:

[Maha]

OH for goodness sakes...her dry cleaner was just not a very good one, ok? :rolleyes:


Just trying to bring toys and equipment into the conversation....:shifty:

[CookMySock]

So now we've gone from entertaining a grossly simplified discussion of an interesting but complicated subject to passing judgment upon those that does not conform with our personal beliefs of right an wrong.Didnt he just mean "cheaters aren't gunna fess up in public ?"

DB

[jrandom]

dont prostitutes do this day in and day out?

Yup, they do.


its not up to them to justify, or understand their clients actions, they arent the ones cheating.

Well, that's the only possible rational position that one could take if one was a prostitute with married clients, indeed.

I know; I've asked.

:crazy:

The question here is, of course, how many of us who don't have sex for a living subscribe to the same ethics?

[007XX]

Just trying to bring toys and equipment into the conversation....:shifty:

Oh I will if you want me to...y'know me by now, only begging for an excuse to lower things to gutter level :D :banana:

[Mikkel]

If you think that I failed to provide sufficient shades of grey in the poll options, then you are obviously not completely averse to facilitating the behaviours of which I speak, and should therefore, if you vote, check either option 2 or option 4.

I may be many things - but I am neither stupid nor naive. But from your wording I could honestly check any of the boxes - depends on how I read the text.


Well, there y'go, then. Just so long as you're not fibbing; I'd prefer it if the poll results reflected reality.

That is my point - it can not reflect reality since it is too simple.

[jrandom]

... passing judgment upon those that does not conform with our personal beliefs of right an wrong.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't see that coming...

:sherlock:

The extrapolation that this discussion makes you uncomfortable because:

A. You'd allow a woman to cheat on her partner with you; and

B. You aren't at peace with the fact that many people oppose that particular ethical position,

is a straightforward one.

Might I suggest that you abandon your twitchiness, and just speak freely about why you feel comfortable with something that many others don't?

[ManDownUnder]

So now we've gone from entertaining a grossly simplified discussion of an interesting but complicated subject to passing judgment upon those that does not conform with our personal beliefs of right an wrong.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't see that coming...

Agreed about the discussion but are you saying that the original question about knowing and active involvement in cheating is not something one should pass judgement on?

Check the online definition of guilt:
* the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, esp. against moral or penal law; culpability

It does break a good number of moral laws depending on the chosen codes of conduct one might ascribe to, and in some places it also breaks criminal law.

Yup - guilty of shagging with gay abandon (sorry carver) or not - that's the question!

[Mikkel]

Didnt he just mean "cheaters aren't gunna fess up in public ?"

It was not aimed at MDU - just at the fact that we have now introduced the word GUILT into the discussion. Guilt is facilitated through judgment between right and wrong and that mindset is inadequate when dealing with subjects like this... IMHO that is.


Personally, I don't give a hoot what other people think about me, hence the fact I'm quite happy to be completely honnest. My conscience is clear, and I sleep very well at night...that's when I'm being left to sleep, of course :devil2:

Does your partner snore as well? :clap:

[ManDownUnder]

Where the hell is Disco Dan anyway? The self proclaimed Master Shagger of married women extra-ordinare is very quiet for some reason...

[Tank]

Where the hell is Disco Dan anyway? The self proclaimed Master Shagger of married women extra-ordinare is very quiet for some reason...

Probably putting in spade work before the husbands knock off work at 5.

[jrandom]

judgment between right and wrong and that mindset is inadequate when dealing with subjects like this... IMHO

Mikkel, stop using weasel words.

Obviously you're cool (given certain preconditions, one presumes) with the idea of shagging a woman behind her partner's back, so why not just explain the situation(s) in which that'd work for you?

Rather than saying "right and wrong is inadequate", show via example that the perception of right and wrong which you disagree with can be inadequate.

:niceone:

[007XX]

Does your partner snore as well? :clap:

No, bless his Calvin Klein undies :love:...we're just in an elongated honeymooning period. One I don't predict will ever stop...if I got any say in the matter :shifty:

Theory for me: If we're both happy with dinner at home, why bother with take aways?

[Maha]

Probably putting in spade work before the husbands knock off work at 5.


You mean he buries the pets afterwards?

[Mikkel]

:sherlock:

The extrapolation that this discussion makes you uncomfortable because:

A. You'd allow a woman to cheat on her partner with you; and

B. You aren't at peace with the fact that many people oppose that particular ethical position,

is a straightforward one.

Might I suggest that you abandon your twitchiness, and just speak freely about why you feel comfortable with something that many others don't?

C. Neither A. nor B. are correct. My objection is founded simply in the fact that my experience (personal or otherwise) suggest that the matter is quite a bit more complicated.
I would have to abandon my integrity in order to claim that I would NEVER be with a woman who was otherwise committed (me being single or not).
That is not the same thing as saying I'd happily tap somebody's girlfriend should the opportunity arise.

The fact that you are happy to throw absolutes around in the way that you do suggest that you are not enough at ease with yourself to consider the subject with an open mind. But that is nothing new - we already concluded that in a similar discussion quite a few months ago.


Agreed about the discussion but are you saying that the original question about knowing and active involvement in cheating is not something one whoudl pass judgement on?

I would aspire to not pass judgment, yes.


Check the online definition of guilt:
* the fact or state of having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong, esp. against moral or penal law; culpability

It does break a good number of moral laws depending on the chosen codes of conduct one might ascribe to, and in some places it also breaks criminal law.

Well, moral values are not absolute. But that is besides the point...

The range of - for lack of a better word with an objective air - other-partner sexual relations is tremendous. You have everything across the span from the hurtful (i.e. cheating) to the actively partner-endorsed (i.e. swinging, orgies, threesomes). My point is that to pass judgment without having 'seen the evidence' and 'heard the witness statements' is narrow-minded.

[Maha]

Theory for me: If we're both happy with dinner at home, why bother with take aways?


Sometimes Sweet and Sour is good for a change....<_<

[007XX]

Sometimes Sweet and Sour is good for a change....<_<

Trust me, things are saucy enough as they are...:innocent:

[nodrog]

Trust me, things are saucy enough as they are...:innocent:

is that like the Dolmio grin?

[ManDownUnder]

Rather than saying "right and wrong is inadequate", show via example that the perception of right and wrong which you disagree with can be inadequate.

:niceone:

Classic example, person A has no capacity for sex for whatever reason, medication supressing libido, mental illness, physical disfunction, and the lack of sex is causing hell to the marriage for person B (person A's significant other)

So - does person B break up with person A in order to actually seek out a happy future, or do they honor their committment to person A and make the relationship all it can be, all the while fulfilling their physical needs elsewhere. In which case the only way to maintain the integrity of the relationship is to keep any extramarital gene swapping a secret.

Person A find out and goes troppo. Speaks to person C and gives their side of the story. Person C could quite reasonably arrive at an understanding person A was wronged, despite the fact Person B was actually attempting to do something to preserve what's left of the relationship.

[Maha]

Trust me, things are saucy enough as they are...:innocent:


I know, I have seen the home video...:cool:

[Tank]

Classic example, person A has no capacity for sex for whatever reason, medication supressing libido, mental illness, physical disfunction, and the lack of sex is causing hell to the marriage for person B (person A's significant other)

So - does person B break up with person A in order to actually seek out a happy future, or do they honor their committment to person A and make the relationship all it can be, all the while fulfilling their physical needs elsewhere. In which case the only way to maintain the integrity of the relationship is to keep any extramarital gene swapping a secret.

Person A find out and goes troppo. Speaks to person C and gives their side of the story. Person C could quite reasonably arrive at an understanding person A was wronged, despite the fact Person B was actually attempting to do something to preserve what's left of the relationship.

Couldnt person B just have a good ol wank?

[jrandom]

That is not the same thing as saying I'd happily tap somebody's girlfriend should the opportunity arise.

No, you'd only do it in certain circumstances. That's already established. You seem to be getting prematurely defensive - nobody, myself included, has actually attacked your position yet!


The fact that you are happy to throw absolutes around in the way that you do suggest that you are not enough at ease with yourself to consider the subject with an open mind...

Kindly leave the ad hominem stuff out... it does tend to indicate that you've run out of good points to make, y'know.

;)

Nothing wrong with absolutes when they're clearly defined. One could generalise this poll even further, into a simple question of whether, having full knowledge of the situation, we would feel comfortable facilitating dishonest behaviour by others.

It's a clear and simple definition.

Abandon thy weasel words, sir, and either show precisely how the definition fails to capture certain potential circumstances, or STFU.

Asserting that something is invalid due to insufficient subtlety does not make it so. You must give proof by example.

:corn:

[jrandom]

Classic example, person A has no capacity for sex for whatever reason, medication supressing libido, mental illness, physical disfunction, and the lack of sex is causing hell to the marriage for person B (person A's significant other)

An excellent example, and a good litmus test as to the nature of one's ethics - does one value an idealised standard of honesty above the pragmatism of the prostate?

Personally, I'd doubt that Person B would be able to maintain their emotional bond with Person A while engaged in what started as a purely physical relationship with Person C, with the most likely outcome being an eventual split.

It's easy to throw the concepts around in discussion, but the implementation thereof is oft bedeviled by unexpected consequences.

[Tank]

You seem to be getting prematurely defensive -

In a thread about shagging could you please refrain from using the "P" word,:o

[ManDownUnder]

Personally, I'd doubt that Person B would be able to maintain their emotional bond with Person A while engaged in what started as a purely physical relationship with Person C, with the most likely outcome being an eventual split.

The classic scenario is that the emotional bond between A and B is probably not sustainable well before the decision is made to involve a 3rd party. I fogot the word for it but there's a certain amount of frustration that needs to build up (like a "cognitive inertia") in order for the frustrated party to overcome those moral hurdles the first time.

As with all moral challenges, the 2nd incidence of the same thing is much more easily engaged in because it's not as novel, there's relatively little "incremental guilt" and it's familiar territory.

Like steal food to fee the family. It would pang the conscience, but the first time would be the worst, and for those brought up on a strict moral code the level of hunger would need to be higher to trigger that first incident than for anyone growing up under more fluid guidlenes regarding the spontaneous acquisition of property

[ManDownUnder]

In a thread about shagging could you please refrain from using the "P" word,:o

You're right - it did come out a bit soon


*BOOM TISH!*

[Mikkel]

No, you'd only do it in certain circumstances. That's already established. You seem to be getting prematurely defensive - nobody, myself included, has actually attacked your position yet!

Of course not, you're still hoping that I shall spill the beans make myself an easy target... are you not?

However, considering the discussion so far I think I shall hold those cards close to my chest for a while longer. I'm afraid you'd be terribly disappointed anyway - which way is hard to say though.


Nothing wrong with absolutes when they're clearly defined. One could generalise this poll even further, into a simple question of whether, having full knowledge of the situation, we would feel comfortable facilitating dishonest behaviour by others.

It's a clear and simple definition.

It's getting a bit clearer what you mean - if you look below there are still a few things that need clarification IMHO:


Let's say you're personally unattached, suffering from chronic blue balls (or the feminine equivalent) and a married (or otherwise 'officially committed') person of the appropriate gender whom you find attractive offers you a go.

Do you:

A. Happily proceed with getting your rocks off, reasoning that you can offload moral responsibility onto the 'taken' individual - after all, you owe nothing to their cheated-upon partner, and whatever shit goes down in that relationship is none of your concern, or

B. Refuse in horror on the basis that you do not wish to be any sort of accomplice in such dastardly carryings-on, even if nobody whom you made a promise to is getting screwed over?

My objection is that there are plenty of other options than A. and B. I fail to see how I need to provide proof that it is indeed so.
Furthermore, you are clearly passing moral judgment upon the person being queried, the options are worded in a way that is intended to induce a feeling of right and wrong. You have an agenda here I believe.

Besides - the question in the thread topic is 'Would you shag someone else's partner?' which is not the same as if 'we would feel comfortable facilitating dishonest behaviour by others'.


Abandon thy weasel words, sir,... or STFU.

Asserting that something is invalid ... does not make it so. You must give proof ...

Ditto. But substitute invalid for wrong...

[nodrog]

fuck as usual a simple question is being over analised, lets make it simpler -

the hot MILF from nextdoor comes over and wants you to pound her senseless, you know she is married. do you oblige?

tick a fucken box.

[CookMySock]

Couldnt person B just have a good ol wank?LMAO!!!!

edit::corn:

DB

[kiwifruit]

Gordie is onto it

Now, bring on the "Would you bin someone else's bike" thread / poll

[ManDownUnder]

My objection is that there are plenty of other options than A. and B. I fail to see how I need to provide proof that it is indeed so.

Genuine question - can you provide a couple of examples? I'm curious to see which directions you are thinking.

[Mikkel]

Couldnt person B just have a good ol wank?

B could possibly do that.

What if A wanted B to have something a bit more exciting? (i.e. A loved B on a level higher than selfishness)
What if A wanted to watch B having something a bit more exciting? (i.e. A does not fit the social norm)

[ManDownUnder]

fuck as usual a simple question is being over analised, lets make it simpler -

the hot MILF from nextdoor comes over and wants you to pound her senseless, you know she is married. do you oblige?

tick a fucken box.

LOL.... no. Assuming I was personally in a position to do so, that would not happen until I understood WHY she wanted it, and determined the implications/fallout of it happening and going wrong.

[nodrog]

Now, bring on the "Would you bin someone else's bike" thread / poll

only if person "A" was stable in the emotional status, and person "B" was in tune with the lunar solaris aurora, and blah, blah, blah.

it also depends on if peanut butter was involed?

and does the position of the breakfast ceral count?

[jrandom]

What if A wanted B to have something a bit more exciting? (i.e. A loved B on a level higher than selfishness)
What if A wanted to watch B having something a bit more exciting? (i.e. A does not fit the social norm)

Those examples have nothing to do with this thread and its poll.

'tain't 'cheating' if the 'other party' gives consent. Duh! Consent means it's all on, baby!

:woohoo:

[ManDownUnder]

B could possibly do that.
Disagreed. If that is the only sex life B has then intimacy between the two rapdily dwindles to a shadow of what it should be.


What if A wanted B to have something a bit more exciting? (i.e. A loved B on a level higher than selfishness)
What if A wanted to watch B having something a bit more exciting? (i.e. A does not fit the social norm)
If the intent of both A and B is to achieve their respective levels of excitement, and both A and B are in natural agreement that it's a good thing (i.e. one does not coerce the other) and both A and B agree either of them can call the new arrangement off if something unforeseen happens that threatens to destroy what exists between them... then...

...go for it...

[jrandom]

Would you bin someone else's bike

Only if they were a bad boyfriend.

[nodrog]

LOL.... no. Assuming I was personally in a position to do so, that would not happen until I understood WHY she wanted it, and determined the implications/fallout of it happening and going wrong.

you sir are to picky. wheres DiscoDan so we can get a desperate mans answer?

[Tank]

B could possibly do that.

What if A wanted B to have something a bit more exciting? (i.e. A loved B on a level higher than selfishness)

What if A wanted to watch B having something a bit more exciting? (i.e. A does not fit the social norm)

Both fall outside the 'bounds' of cheating to which I have commented on already in this thread.

In both the above cases Id say good on em' (both A+B)

or if B just wanted a more exciting wank - he could use sandpaper and cayenne pepper.

[Mikkel]

fuck as usual a simple question is being over analised, lets make it simpler -

the hot MILF from nextdoor comes over and wants you to pound her senseless, you know she is married. do you oblige?

tick a fucken box.

Now THAT would have been a slightly less complicated matter. No attempts at being clever with the formulation of the question nor any poor attempts at establishing a vague hypothetical situation.
In my case - No.
But I have a hot partner and there's no MILF nextdoor so that's easy.

If I was single things might be different... might, but not likely.


Genuine question - can you provide a couple of examples? I'm curious to see which directions you are thinking.

A and B are a couple. Things aren't going too well and both are having second thoughts about their relationship. However, being stuck in the daily routine nothing happens and it's a slow trip downhill.
B goes to a party without A and meets C. B and C communicates well, gets a bit drunk, talks about this and that, dances and are enjoying themselves. At some point B thinks fuck this and starts working C. C is aware of B being in a relationship that isn't working out and that B isn't too happy about it - because B told C about it. C may or may not have an interest in B as a prospective partner. C has to make the choice...


If N enters as a third wheel we get a BNC jack - and if A finds out we might have a BNC terminator... Sorry, couldn't help nerdmode.

[Mikkel]

Those examples have nothing to do with this thread and its poll.

'tain't 'cheating' if the 'other party' gives consent. Duh! Consent means it's all on, baby!

In that case I think we need to change the thread title at least...

But no, I do neither condone nor encourage cheating. Is that clear enough for you?


Disagreed. If that is the only sex life B has then intimacy between the two rapdily dwindles to a shadow of what it should be.

I don't know...

[Dilligaf]

fuck as usual a simple question is being over analised, lets make it simpler -

the hot MILF from nextdoor comes over and wants you to pound her senseless, you know she is married. do you oblige?

tick a fucken box.

teee heee he said anal!!! :buggerd:
you really meant analysed right?

[Mrs Busa Pete]

Couldnt person B just have a good ol wank?

I agree and if B lets A watch they might both get a bit of action. :lol:

[jrandom]

In that case I think we need to change the thread title at least...

Pfft, nah. It's snappy and grabs attention - if people don't have the neural capacity to read and properly comprehend the poll question, fuck 'em.


I do neither condone nor encourage cheating.

Well, that's fairly straightforward; where's your issue at, then? The poll question wasn't about kinky multi-partner carryings-on, it was about cheating, pure and simple.

If it's not immediately obvious that multi-partner 'informed consent' situations don't constitute 'cheating', um... no, surely that's pretty obvious?

:sleep:

[007XX]

is that like the Dolmio grin?

Dude, I'm french, not italian, so how the fark would I know? :innocent:


I know, I have seen the home video...:cool:

Bullshit! You been hanging around our window again, haven't you? :rolleyes:


fuck as usual a simple question is being over analised, lets make it simpler -

the hot MILF from nextdoor comes over and wants you to pound her senseless, you know she is married. do you oblige?

tick a fucken box.

I'm with ya on that one...simple does as simple is...errr, hang on :confused:

[CookMySock]

If N enters as a third wheel we get a BNC jack - and if A finds out we might have a BNC terminator...BAWWWWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

:corn:

DB

[Mom]

Sorry, couldn't help nerdmode.

My head is spining!

I guess if your blue bits (covering both genders) are so bad you are compelled to do something about it with a non-single person you possibly could be forgiven.... when hell freezes over.

A quick, fast and hopefully satisfying root is good for what ails you sometimes, if we are honest we have all been in that place. To knowingly take advantage of that situation with someone that is not single is not right in my mind.

If you look at bit further afield I am sure you will find a single man or woman that will be a much safer bet for a quickie.

[Mikkel]

I couldn't find the quickie flowchat - but this kinda make sense... :lol:
http://www.flowcharttools.com/images/examples/Flowchart%20for%20finding%20out%20the%20largest%20 of%20three%20number.png

[Mom]

I couldn't find the quickie flowchat - but this kinda make sense... :lol:

You are not a PHD student by any chance are you? :love:

[Mikkel]

You are not a PHD student by any chance are you? :love:

Why? Do you wanna play doctor? :D

[Mom]

Why? Do you wanna play doctor? :D

Only if I get the stethescope!

[Mikkel]

Only if I get the stethescope!

You take that away from me - and then you're going to blame me for not listening... Geez, we men just can't win. :weep:

[ManDownUnder]

you sir are to picky. wheres DiscoDan so we can get a desperate mans answer?

AM NOT! (and "to" should have two "o's")

[ManDownUnder]

Why? Do you wanna play doctor? :D

Careful man - it might be doc the playa...

[Maha]

fuck as usual a simple question is being over analised, lets make it simpler -

the hot MILF from nextdoor comes over and wants you to pound her senseless, you know she is married. do you oblige?

tick a fucken box.

Is this MILF in her 80's?
Has this MILF got an STD?
Does this MILF mind if weet-bix is involved?
Would this MILF get my name wrong at the time of impact?
See, all this needs to be considered...I couldn't possibly tick/flick or lick anything that answers yes to any of the above!....:crybaby:

[Nagash]

I went for have done it and would happily do it again.. which isn't exactly true.

I would do it again, but it all depends on the situation. If I don't know either person much at all then hell, why not. It's all fun and games.

If I knew either person or would be getting to know them, I'd probably disagree..

Yeah.. that doesn't make me seem like a *complete* arse. My job is done.

[Mom]

Is this MILF in her 80's?



Extreme MILF!!!!

[nodrog]

you really meant analysed right?

no


(and "to" should have two "o's")

sorry hitcher


Would this MILF get my name wrong at the time of impact?

like calling you "Justin"?


Extreme MILF!!!!

its called GRILF

[Laava]

Oooooh Nodrog! Come over and dooooo meee!

[martybabe]

Farks me, I just read the post that prompted this, flicked over to R nR and it's got 98 bleedin posts. A right bloomin hornets nest opening up.

I aint even read it yet but No, never have never will, it aint right by your partner.

[nodrog]

Oooooh Nodrog! Come over and dooooo meee!

in a heartbeat (if you still have one)

[marty]

fuck as usual a simple question is being over analised, lets make it simpler -

the hot MILF from nextdoor comes over and wants you to pound her senseless, you know she is married. do you oblige?

tick a fucken box.

um, yup.

10fc

[marty]

LOL.... no. Assuming I was personally in a position to do so, that would not happen until I understood WHY she wanted it, and determined the implications/fallout of it happening and going wrong.

are you sure you're a guy?

[imdying]

Might I suggest that you abandon your twitchiness, and just speak freely about why you feel comfortable with something that many others don't?Barking up the wrong tree Dan, it has come up in converstation before... Mike is definitely opposed to cheating amongst the married.

[marty]

this thread gets the prize for the best tags BTW:)

[007XX]

You take that away from me - and then you're going to blame me for not listening... Geez, we men just can't win. :weep:

And you've just discovered that? Oh dear...that expression about babes in suckling comes back to mind :whistle:

[NOMIS]

, but karma is a muthafarka people. :msn-wink:

OOOOHHH YEEEHHH it sure is haha I did it 2 months later find out the bastard did my ex lol ah well shit happens.. Never again youg teenage moments i guess . At least I wasnt the one who went and got my self arrested afterwards...

All I said to the old friend was " heyyy your misus is hotter than my ex " hahaha

[CookMySock]

Why? Do you wanna play doctor? :DBWWWAHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

:corn:
DB

[ManDownUnder]

are you sure you're a guy?

yup and nothing to prove too

[SixPackBack]

Shit. I been watchin' this thread all day, Not wanting to post but feeling compelled to tell my story............

Not to many years ago I SHAGGED SOMONES ELSES PARTNER!.......its true! I am not to proud of my indiscretion, and the fallout was nuclear-my wife found it hard to forgive but with counselling and time she now allows me back in the marital bed.

The last few years have been rough for Jackie and I, many of our friends have no idea of my recklessness.

Would I do it again? hell yeah! any bitch wants to pay 2K for me to shag 'em rotten and I'm there baby:devil2:

[marty]

friend of mine has a milf next door - she has given him plenty of opportunities but he is too scared of the possibile outcomes.

it all depends on the rules you set at the beginning.....

now here's a question - 2 people, both married (not to each other), have a 'friendship with benefits' - is that different to one of them being single?

[jrandom]

this thread gets the prize for the best tags BTW:)

Yeah, some people are far too witty for their own good.

<_<

[Edbear]

friend of mine has a milf next door - she has given him plenty of opportunities but he is too scared of the possibile outcomes.

it all depends on the rules you set at the beginning.....

now here's a question - 2 people, both married (not to each other), have a 'friendship with benefits' - is that different to one of them being single?


Adultery by any other name...

Still carries the same consequences, still disrespects the other partner.

[ManDownUnder]

now here's a question - 2 people, both married (not to each other), have a 'friendship with benefits' - is that different to one of them being single?

Yup - two potential sources of scourned trouble with severe implications on them both... totally changes the risk profile of the offer if you see what I mean.

[ManDownUnder]

Would I do it again? hell yeah! any bitch wants to pay 2K for me to shag 'em rotten and I'm there baby:devil2:


If he had the money - carver'd be your boy!

[Dilligaf]

Would I do it again? hell yeah! any bitch wants to pay 2K for me to shag 'em rotten and I'm there baby:devil2:


You cheap whore :oi-grr:


:girlfight:

[Mr Merde]

To coin a phrase I first heard in the pubs of Wales


"A standing prick has no conscience"


pretty much sums it up

[Mikkel]

To coin a phrase I first heard in the pubs of Wales


"A standing prick has no conscience"


pretty much sums it up

I think it might be worth adding:

"Slippery when wet."

[Trudes]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWwKUgP1zG8&feature=related
:laugh: oh, contains rude language

[ManDownUnder]

:laugh: oh, contains rude language

how sweet - a love song!

[Trudes]

how sweet - a love song!

hehe, of the best kind!!

[Mikkel]

:laugh: oh, contains rude language

Good song - it lost something for me though when I finally read the lyrics... <_<

I always thought he was singing "Get your hands off my woman, I wanna fuck her!" :oi-grr:

[Trudes]

They're good aren't they!?:banana:

You are drunk and you are surly
In Latino lover mode
We all know what's on your agenda
We've broken the code

Oh I've got no right to lay claim to her frame
She's not my possession
You cunt.

Get your hands off my woman motherfucker
Get your hands off my woman motherfucker
Yeah

Octoped, you've got six hands too many
And you can't keep them to yourself
You're too fat and too old to marry
So they left you on the shelf

Oh I've got no right to lay claim to her frame
But you soiled my obsession
You cunt.

Get your hands off my woman motherfucker
Get your hands off my woman motherfucker
Get your hands off my woman motherfucker
Get your hands off my woman motherfucker
Ow!
Get your hands off my woman motherfucker
Get your hands off my woman motherfuuuuuuuuuuckaaaaa!

[mowgli]

Those are some interesting poll results

[mstriumph]

yeah
would be even MORE interesting if there had been a "i choose to remain silent as the answer may incriminate me" option :mellow:

[ManDownUnder]

yeah
would be even MORE interesting if there had been a "i choose to remain silent as the answer may incriminate me" option :mellow:

yeah - a good number chose that already...!

At least sixpack's owned up, and started advertising at the same time. Poor little bastard's going to need to keep his fluids up.

[fire eyes]

I can honestly say that I personally would never cheat on my partner while in a committed relationship. But there are many other contributing factors to consider as well .. not every relationship is simply black & white .. speaking from experience .. sometimes there can be a huge varying grey area. My husband cheated on me, it wasn't nice at all hurt, anger, wanting to take to him with an axe lol & all the rest of it .. but there was also alot contributing to the breakdown of the marriage thus resulting in an affair. It was definitely a growth period for me and I accept my participation in the whole situation as well irrespective of the fact that it wasnt me who cheated. Ironically, we are seperated but living together lol we are actually really good friends, reconcilliation? no definitely not but the arrangement works well for the moment. Relationships are fascinating and sometimes it is really good to step back and see things for how they truely are :done:

[CookMySock]

Firstly, this is rhetorical, and the word "you" is not used to refer to anyone in particular. kthx.


[...]we are seperated but living together lol we are actually really good friendsStrangely, I think when many marriages reach this point they are complete.

Sound strange ? Consider the remotest possibility for a minute. Really.

You no longer have any say over each other - why did you think you did before ?

You no longer have to "be" anyone different to what you are - why did you before ?

You no longer have to have sex when the other person wants it - how come you did before ?

All the shoulds, coulds, and have-to's are gone. What if they weren't there before ?

You are over losing that person coz they don't have to be there for you any more.

What if ?

DB

[Disco Dan]

Hey, any holes a goal... ;)


If the female partner is ok with it... i'm ok with it.

I see it as "providing a service" ...a service that the womans so called man is obviously failing at.

[LilSel]

Once upon a time, I did for about 6 months... she'd told me after we started seeing each other that she had a gf but that they were thru n werent sleeping together etc but she couldnt end it (financial reasons, still living together, kids etc...). She really pulled a good one on me!! I morally should'nt have let it continue for that long but she came up with an answer for everything. When she went to africa with her gf... I met someone new n that was the end of that. When she got back... she did leave her gf as she said she would but I wasnt going to stick around for her to do that to me (& I was seeing someone anyway).

Happened another time too... but without knowing once again!!!!! the next day I got a txt saying 'btw I have a gf'... gee... dont ya think its a bit late to be telling me that now considering we slept together last night!!!...

If I was single again.... n I knew that someone had a partner... I wouldnt go there till they'd split! Its not really your fault tho if they lie to you or dont tell you they have a partner aye?!?.

Its sad that happens but unfortunately it does... 'bit on the side' without knowing your the 'bit'

[fire eyes]

DB .. you have no idea how right you are ... "Strangely, I think when many marriages reach this point they are complete." you have hit the nail on the head here .. well in my situation anyway, I will not speak for anyone else .. yes .. the marriage is complete. Its an ending of a pattern or cycle if you will. It was an experience for both us .. a huge learning experience .. the greatest gift my husband gave me was the opportunity to learn self-responsibility & accountability. He was hugely instrumental in my growth and I really could not be any more appreciative for this. With the completion and acceptence of this it means I can move forward without part of myself 'stuck' with my ex-husband. It creates the ability to have different & newer experiences. :banana: ok Ill shut up now.

[CookMySock]

fire eyes, I think I'm getting it. Yes, its terribly unfortunate that many people part at this point - just when they are comfy and safe within themselves, and they have developed such a great friendship with someone they trust... and they chuck it out ?? go figure ?

DB

[cindymay]

Things get really complicated when friends are involved. The industry I am in means I see lots of stuff going on - is just the way it is. The answer for me is yes and be careful and not with friends or colleagues. If you can't live with yourself or feel you have to tell someone then stay pure and safe.

[peasea]

Wot's 'shagging'?

[ManDownUnder]

Hey, any holes a goal... ;)


If the female partner is ok with it... i'm ok with it.

I see it as "providing a service" ...a service that the womans so called man is obviously failing at.

2 wee points
1) You might want to keep that offer to yourself if you're ever talking to Carver. He's going to enjoy it but will probably charge for the services remdered
2) I'm serious when I say you're a sad little man with a truly warped and twisted view of the world attending the wrong side of the counter in your chosen profession.

I know you tried made a funny, again, but your inability to engaged the complexities of the topic astound me - especially considering the trail of carnage you have likely left behind you.

Jump into the discussion any time.

[fire eyes]

I just realised I didnt actually answer the question. Yes I have shagged someone elses partner. Would I do it again. No way.

[FROSTY]

Hey, any holes a goal... ;)


If the female partner is ok with it... i'm ok with it.

I see it as "providing a service" ...a service that the womans so called man is obviously failing at.
Dude Im lost for words. Thats just so not funny -

[riffer]

You got that one right Frosty. :yes:

[Disco Dan]

Dude Im lost for words. Thats just so not funny -

wasnt meant to be funny?

[SixPackBack]

wasnt meant to be funny?

France had a law that dealt with such issues, 'crime of passion' it was called. Basically if your neighbour came home and caught you rooting his wife and killed you in a fit of rage his punishment would be minimal.

Picking up on one of your earlier points Dan about 'the man not doing his job'........this is a simplistic argument, one designed for poor justification of an act of betrayal. Married folk within a monogamous relationship mostly got that way [and try to stay that way] after promising in a public ceremony 'till death do us part'........its serious shit bro'. Getting in between a couple when they get into trouble-taking advantage, is really not cool or clever. It could threaten your life.

[CookMySock]

Getting in between a couple when they get into trouble-taking advantage, is really not cool or clever. It could threaten your life.Yup. If you wanna play up with them/her, make friends and have fun with them, and wait your turn and ask nicely, or you will possibly break something that was not yours to break.

Gee, maybe you can even cheer them BOTH up a little.

DB

[Whynot]

I just realised I didnt actually answer the question.

don't worry, i'm pretty sure you weren't the only one who read it wrong ....

[jrandom]

don't worry, i'm pretty sure you weren't the only one who read it wrong ....

I know.

The ability of people to misundercomprehestimate seemingly-simple communications never ceases to astoundinate me.

[kiwifruit]

I know.

The ability of people to misundercomprehestimate seemingly-simple communications never ceases to astoundinate me.

what? cunt :mad:

[CookMySock]

The ability of people to misundercomprehestimate seemingly-simple communications never ceases to astoundinate me.That's normal human-nature. What is clear to ourselves is frustratingly UNCLEAR to everyone else. So whats new ?

Reality check ? The reverse applies also. Uh huh.

DB

[jrandom]

What is clear to ourselves is frustratingly UNCLEAR to everyone else. So whats new ?

Reality check ? The reverse applies also. Uh huh.

I have no idea what you're on about.

[RC1]

no comment :innocent: but takes two to tango

[CookMySock]

I have no idea what you're on about.BAH!! :bash::bash::bash::bash::bash:

DB

[Tank]

Hey, any holes a goal... ;)


If the female partner is ok with it... i'm ok with it.

I see it as "providing a service" ...a service that the womans so called man is obviously failing at.

According to the poll results 22 people on this site will happily do it to you as well DD.

So assuming you have a girl friend (a real one) - here is a challenge - the first one here to tap DD's missus gets 2 trillion Green Bling.

It will be interesting to hear how OK you are about it once it happens to you.

[Whynot]

So assuming you have a girl friend (a real one) - here is a challenge - the first one here to tap DD's missus gets 2 trillion Green Bling.

what does the second one get?

[Tank]

what does the second one get?

the clap .........

[Mikkel]

According to the poll results 22 people on this site will happily do it to you as well DD.

According to another recent poll >15% of all Kiwi Bikers are virgins...

[Tank]

According to another recent poll >15% of all Kiwi Bikers are virgins...

pffft - if you cant trust a KiwiBiker poll what can you trust?

[scorpious]

treat others how you want to be treated yourself

[ManDownUnder]

the clap .........

...more like a whole f'n round of applause...

[ManDownUnder]

It will be interesting to hear how OK you are about it once it happens to you.

Honestly - I strongly suspect that might have happened at some point given his general vengeful attitude on the topic.

[ManDownUnder]

Right - IMHO it's "back off the beat up DD stuff" time... back on topic.

[Number One]

I wouldn't shag someone elses partner. Nor would I cheat on my partner. The idea of 'sharing' each other is not really my cup of tea - i a typical only child...MY TOYS DAMMIT!!!

Previously I have been tempted..funny that I was tempted by the man I am now with :love:

Worked out well I think...

The notion of threesomes or group orgies or whatever - are definitely things I would say I am curious of however I think I would need to be sufficiently assisted to not laugh my arse off the whole way through! Crikey showing anyone my naked bod was something that took a while to get comfortable with...doing it with others - hell no! they might see my bum and laugh...I couldn't handle that kind of rejection :sunny:

[Edbear]

treat others how you want to be treated yourself


Yeah, but then she says, "Go and get a job! You needa job!"

[Sparky Bills]

Karma will always come back and kick your ass! ALWAYS!!!

[fire eyes]

I know.

The ability of people to misundercomprehestimate seemingly-simple communications never ceases to astoundinate me.

:Oops:My apologies.

[007XX]

:Oops:My apologies.

You do realise that apologising to him is like bleeding in a shark infested pool, right?


:laugh:

[mstriumph]

......................
Would I do it again? hell yeah! any bitch wants to pay 2K for me to shag 'em rotten and I'm there baby:devil2:


just sitting here contemplating the no response you got to this as a bloke against the scores of salivating replies there woulda been if you'da been a gal .....

life is odd :confused:

[jrandom]

You do realise that apologising to him is like bleeding in a shark infested pool, right?

Your average shark doesn't ask politely where you'd like to be bitten.

[007XX]

Your average shark doesn't ask politely where you'd like to be bitten.

And your average victim doesn't provide said biting location with willingness and trepidation.

Hurray for unaverageness.

[ManDownUnder]

just sitting here contemplating the no response you got to this as a bloke against the scores of salivating replies there woulda been if you'da been a gal .....

life is odd :confused:

It's a good observation. Not many see it but the basic way of life is not that men pick women up, women allow men to pick them up (in other words it's the woman that makes the choice, and is in control).

Just look anywhere in nature. The female of whatever species will only allow the male to mate with her when she is ready, and only if he is the one she chooses. Exactly the same thing happens in the pub (the male ego won't allow him to see that, but just look at the pattern of behaviour.

Male approaches with something to offer, a drink, a laugh, a show of strength... and the woman more often than not makes a decision... yes... or no. Women control the show - never ever be confused about that.

Which in turn explains what you saw. If you had put that offer out there'd be PM's flying, huge flirtation online as all the boys lined up with their various offers...

... sixpack... good looking chap that he is... barley drew comment.

[SixPackBack]

... sixpack... good looking chap that he is... barley drew comment.

Mate the offers are rollin in......:yes:

And Carver....NO MEANS NO!

[ManDownUnder]

Mate the offers are rollin in......:yes:

And Carver....NO MEANS NO!


Heartless bastard... guess who I'm trying to console on the phone as I type... he's gutted

[Upgrader]

If ya can shag someone they arent true partners with anyone else
If theyre true partners with anyone else thay won;t shag ya